navigating the world of men, sex, and love (as a sensitive girly)

Summary

In diesem Video spricht die Sprecherin ehrlich über ihre Beziehung zu Männern, Sex und Liebe. Sie diskutiert ihre früheren Erfahrungen mit obligatorischem Sex und wie sie durch Selbstforschung und Achtsamkeit eine gesündere Beziehung zu ihrer Sexualität entwickelt hat. Sie betont die Wichtigkeit der Selbstkenntnis und ehrlicher Kommunikation, um echte Intimität zu erreichen. Darüber hinaus teilt sie ihre Liebe zu weiblichen Freundschaften und wie diese ihre Beziehungen zu Männern und ihr eigenes Selbstverständnis beeinflusst haben.

Takeaways

• 🌟 Selbstbefriedigung ist eine wichtige Praxis, um tiefer mit sich selbst zu verbinden.
• 💡 Sex ist natürlich und sollte in einer gesunden Weise genossen werden.
• 🚫 Es gibt keine Schuld oder Scham in Bezug auf sexuelle Energie und Begierde.
• 🌱 Eine gesunde Beziehung zur eigenen Sexualität führt zu einer gesünderen性生活.
• 🔍 Sex sollte nicht zur Validierung oder zum Trost verwendet werden.
• 💕 Ein tiefes Verständnis und Eigentumsgefühl an eigenen sexuellen Bedürfnissen führt zu echter Intimität.
• 🗣️ Radikale Ehrlichkeit in Beziehungen ist essentiell für echte Intimität.
• 👭 Investition in enge Beziehungen zu anderen Frauen ist von großer Bedeutung für persönliches Wachstum und emotionale Unterstützung.
• 🚫 Sex ist nicht der einzige Weg, um Intimität zu erreichen; emotionale und spirituelle Verbindungen sind ebenso wichtig.
• 🛡️ Respekt und Bequemlichkeit sind entscheidend für sexuelle Beziehungen.
• 🌐 Die Beziehung zu anderen Menschen, insbesondere zu Männern, kann durch die Beziehung zu sich selbst und zu anderen Frauen verbessert werden.

Q & A

Wie befasst sich die Sprecherin mit ihrer sexuellen Energie?

Sie reflektiert über ihre Beziehung zur sexuellen Energie und wie man sie mit Absicht und in einer gesunden Weise leben kann.

Was ist der Hauptinhalt des Videos?

Das Video dreht sich um die Beziehung zur Sexualität, dem Verhältnis zu Männern, Sex und Liebe in ihrem aktuellen Lebensabschnitt.

Was ist das Ziel der Sprecherin, wenn sie über Selbstbefriedigung spricht?

Sie möchte eine Verbindung zu sich selbst aufbauen und mehr über sich selbst erfahren, was auch Türen für ihre sexuelle Selbsterkenntnis öffnet.

Was ist die Meinung der Sprecherin über die Natur der Sexualität?

Sie betrachtet die Sexualität als eine natürliche Energie innerhalb von uns und glaubt, dass eine ungesunde Beziehung zur Sexualität zu Verzerrungen führen kann.

Wie hat die Sprecherin ihre sexuellen Erfahrungen früher betrachtet?

Sie hat früher Sex für Bestätigung, Trost oder um eine Art von Berührung und Verbindung zu bekommen, ohne sich auf ihre körperlichen Bedürfnisse einzulassen.

Was bedeutet für die Sprecherin ein gesunder Umgang mit der Sexualität?

Ein gesunder Umgang bedeutet für sie, sich in einem bevollmächtigten Zustand zu befinden und Absicht und Wissen um ihre eigenen Bedürfnisse und Begierden zu haben.

Warum betont die Sprecherin die Wichtigkeit der Ehrlichkeit in ihren Beziehungen?

Sie glaubt, dass Lügen und das Verbergen ihrer wahren Gefühle eine Beziehung verderben und die Entwicklung behindern.

Was hat die Sprecherin über ihre Beziehung zu Männern und Sex in ihrer Single-Phase gelernt?

Sie hat gelernt, dass viele Formen der Intimität mehr bedeuten und ihr mehr Freude bereiten als nur Sex, wie tiefe Ehrlichkeit und gemeinsame Erfahrungen.

Was ist die Rolle der weiblichen Freundschaften in ihrem Leben?

Die weiblichen Freundschaften sind der Mittelpunkt ihres Lebens und ein Quell der Heilung, Liebe und Intimität.

Wie schätzt die Sprecherin die Bedeutung von Beziehungen ein, die zu mehr als nur Sex führen?

Sie schätzt Beziehungen, die zu emotionaler und spiritueller Verbindung führen, höher als rein sexuelle Beziehungen.

Was ist die Botschaft, die die Sprecherin am Ende des Videos vermitteln möchte?

Die Botschaft ist, dass man sich in seiner weiblichen Freundschaften und in Beziehungen, die zu mehr als nur Sex führen, investieren sollte, um ein erfülltes und harmonisches Leben zu führen.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 Sexuelle Energie und Liebe

Der erste Absatz spricht über die Natur der sexuellen Energie und wie man sie mit Absicht und Intention bewegt. Es wird betont, dass sexuelle Energie natürlich und gleichwertig mit anderen Gefühlen ist. Die Sprecherin reflektiert über ihre Beziehung zu Männern, Sex und Liebe und wie sie tiefer in die Frau, die sie sein möchte, eintauchen möchte. Sie bringt auch die Bessa Giveaway mit Sexspielzeugen und betont die Wichtigkeit von Selbstbefriedigung und Selbstkenntnis.

05:01

🌱 Sexuelle Autonomie und Ehrlichkeit

Der zweite Absatz thematisiert die sexuelle Autonomie und wie man ehrliche sexuelle Erfahrungen leben kann. Die Sprecherin beschreibt, wie sie früher Sex aus Gründen wie Bestätigung oder Trost suchte, aber nun versucht, ihre natürlichen sexuellen Bedürfnisse zu respektieren und diese gezielt zu gestalten. Sie betont die Notwendigkeit, sich in jeder Lebensfacette für sich selbst einzusetzen und wie dies zu mehr Selbstachtung und Zufriedenheit führt.

10:03

🌈 Sexuelle Erfahrungen und Beziehungen

In diesem Absatz geht es um die verschiedenen Formen der Intimität, die mehr bedeuten als Sex. Die Sprecherin teilt, dass sie eine Phase der Keuschheit durchlebt und entdeckt, dass tiefe, ehrliche Beziehungen und gemeinsame Wachstum mehr wert sind als sexuelle Begegnungen. Sie reflektiert auch über ihre Beziehung zu Männern und wie sie lernen muss, ihre eigenen Bedürfnisse und Werte zu vertreten und zu respektieren.

15:05

👭 Wertschätzung von Frauenbeziehungen

Der vierte Absatz betont die Wichtigkeit von Beziehungen zu Frauen und wie diese die Sprecherin unterstützt und erfüllt. Sie beschreibt, wie Frauen sie gelehrt haben, was Liebe, Bequemlichkeit und Einverständnis ist, und wie diese Beziehungen zu mehr Selbstachtung und Zufriedenheit führen. Sie empfiehlt, sich um weibliche Freundschaften zu kümmern und diese als eine Quelle der Stärke und des Wohlbefindens zu betrachten.

20:06

💖 Unbedingte Liebe und Authentizität

Der letzte Absatz fasst die Botschaft des gesamten Videos zusammen und betont die Wichtigkeit von unbedingter Liebe und Authentizität in allen Beziehungen. Die Sprecherin teilt, wie sie sich in ihrer Single-Phase weiterentwickelt und was sie in Bezug auf Intimität und Sex sucht. Sie drückt ihre Hoffnung aus, dass alle Menschen einander ehrlich und aufrichtig begegnen und eine harmonische Beziehung zum Universum pflegen können.

Keywords

💡Sexual Energy

Sexual Energy im Kontext des Videos bezieht sich auf die natürliche, vitale Kraft, die im Menschen steckt und oft mit der Libido oder dem sexuellen Verlangen verknüpft ist. Im Video wird betont, dass Sexual Energy ein natürliches Phänomen ist und wie man sie gezielt und gesund nutzen kann, um eine ausgewogene und positive Beziehung zu ihr zu entwickeln.

💡Intention

Intention im Video bedeutet die bewusste und zielgerichtete Nutzung von Sexual Energy. Es wird hervorgehoben, dass es wichtig ist, diese Energie mit Absicht und bewusster Entscheidung zu bewegen, um eine gesunde und positive Beziehung zu sich selbst und anderen zu fördern.

💡Intimacy

Intimacy im Video wird als eine vielschichtige Beziehungsform beschrieben, die mehr umfasst als nur sexuelle Interaktionen. Es geht um emotionale und spirituelle Verbindungen, die tiefere Vertrautheit und Verständnis zwischen Menschen ermöglichen. Im Video wird betont, dass Intimacy durch andere Formen als Sex, wie zum Beispiel ehrliche Kommunikation, gefördert werden kann.

💡Radical Honesty

Radical Honesty bezieht sich auf die Praxis, sich in Beziehungen so ehrlich und wahrheitsgemäß wie möglich auszudrücken. Im Video wird dies als eine Art der Selbstbehauptung und -akzeptanz betrachtet, die dazu beiträgt, dass echte Intimacy und Vertrautheit zwischen Menschen entstehen kann.

💡Boundaries

Boundaries im Kontext des Videos sind persönliche Grenzen, die festgelegt werden, um einen gesunden und sicheren Raum für das eigene Wohlergehen zu schaffen. Es wird erläutert, wie wichtig es ist, diese Grenzen zu kommunizieren und zu verteidigen, um Respekt und Verständnis in Beziehungen zu gewährleisten.

💡Self-Pleasure

Self-Pleasure im Video wird als ein Weg beschrieben, sich selbst zu verbinden und zu lieben. Es wird betont, dass Selbstbefriedigung nicht nur eine sexuelle Praxis ist, sondern auch ein Weg, um mehr über das eigene Körpererleben und die eigenen Bedürfnisse zu erfahren.

💡Celibacy

Celibacy im Video wird als eine Phase beschrieben, in der man sich zurückzieht, um sich selbst und seine Beziehungen zu anderen zu verstehen und zu reflektieren. Es wird erläutert, dass Celibacy ein Tool sein kann, um Klarheit und Fokussierung auf persönliche Wachstum und Selbstkenntnis zu gewährleisten.

💡Aphrodite

Aphrodite im Video wird als eine der griechischen Göttinnen der Liebe und Schönheit dargestellt und als Symbol für die sexuelle und sensuale Kraft des Menschen genutzt. Es wird erläutert, wie man diese Energie bewusst und gezielt nutzen kann, ohne sie für andere zu missbrauchen oder zu verletzen.

💡Discomfort

Discomfort im Kontext des Videos bezieht sich auf das Unbehagen oder die Unruhe, die man in bestimmten Beziehungen oder Situationen empfindet. Es wird betont, dass es wichtig ist, dieses Unbehagen ernst zu nehmen und es als Signal, dass man möglicherweise seine Grenzen nicht respektiert oder nicht sicher ist.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity im Video wird als die Fähigkeit definiert, sich selbst ehrlich und wahrheitsgemäß zu zeigen, ohne Masken oder Vorurteile aufrechtzuerhalten. Es wird erläutert, wie Authentizität zu einer stärkeren und ausgeglicheneren Beziehung zu sich selbst und anderen führen kann.

💡Empowerment

Empowerment im Kontext des Videos bezieht sich auf das Gefühl der Kraft und der Fähigkeit, sich selbst und seine eigenen Bedürfnisse und Wünsche zu vertreten. Es wird betont, dass Empowerment ein Prozess ist, bei dem man sich selbst und seine Werte stärkt, um ein selbstbestimmtes und erfülltes Leben zu führen.

Highlights

Exploring the relationship between sex, sexuality, and love in personal growth.

Embracing self-pleasure as a means to connect deeper with oneself.

Introducing Bessa, a woman-centric company focused on sexuality and empowerment.

The importance of understanding and cultivating a healthy relationship with one's sexual energy.

Overcoming the fear and anxiety associated with men and sexual interactions.

The journey from using sex for validation to listening to one's body for genuine intimacy.

The significance of radical honesty in fostering authentic and intimate relationships.

Learning to be discerning about the anxiety and comfort levels around men.

The value of female friendships as a source of unconditional love and support.

The impact of societal conditioning on personal boundaries and interactions with men.

Navigating the balance between being oneself and managing the perceptions of others in male interactions.

The concept of 'celibacy' as a phase of exploration and understanding one's desires.

The transformative power of feeling seen, valued, and safe in friendships with men.

The criteria for male friends and the importance of respect and comfort in these relationships.

The role of female friends in vetting and providing feedback on romantic interests.

The empowerment of being single and discovering one's values and desires in relationships.

The idea that love and chemistry cannot be forced, and the importance of living in harmony with the universe.

Transcripts

[Music]

how do I move with this Sexual Energy

with intention I still have a fear of

men you feel the Abundant nature of love

in every single day in every single

moment there are so many forms of

intimacy that mean more to me and that

please and pleasure me more than just

having sex hello my fellow students of

love I have made so many videos about

relating sex sexuality and I just

thought it would be really fun to do a

little Deep dive on my relationship to

men sex and love right now in this phase

of my life where I feel like I'm

deepening into the woman that I want to

be in the world this channel is such an

amalgamation of all the things I wish I

could share with my younger self so

thanks for tuning in I genuinely am

wondering how the gires are coping with

this world of men like I'm wondering if

everyone else freaks out as much as I do

has as much anxiety as I do still

struggles to not have obligational

interactions and that's what I really

wanted to dive into but before I get too

far into today's video I just wanted to

let you know that my friends and I at

Bessa are hosting a giveaway where

everyone gets either a free vibrator or

gift card everyone who enters wins

something so it'll be the first link in

my description box below and I just feel

like self-pleasure practice is something

that I really like to do to connect even

deeper with myself and it's just another

one of those doorways for me but I just

wanted to share a little bit about my

favorite toys from them Bessa is a

bywoman company for all things sexuality

including sex ed erotica and sex toys

and they're on a mission to empower

everyone to embrace explore and

celebrate their sexuality so this is the

pebble their packaging is so cute and

Compact and also rechargeable so there's

no batteries you just get to charge it

with a USB in their case and the pebble

is so tiny it's basically a little [ __ ]

sucker you can just have orgasm after

orgasm with this thing and there aren't

any annoying patterns but just different

levels of intensity this is made from

premium grade silicone and is waterproof

and then this is the air Vibe which is

also super Compact and this is my

favorite because it has both G-spot and

cliteral stimulation but you can choose

to just use one depending on what your

mood is but I think toys are a great way

to open up new pleasure Pathways but if

you're curious about them and furthering

your exploration in this way click the

link in my description box but from a

very young age I was always so excited

to be in my body I was so excited about

love and that magic energy of chemistry

that just naturally happens with people

had a really good relationship to my

body until I started to share it with

other people started to feel taken

advantage of stopped feeling like I knew

how to tune into my body when I was

sharing it with others want to share my

like Baseline preliminary beliefs about

sex is that our sexual desires and our

sexual nature is this natural thing

within us just as natural as our

feelings that EB and flow it is about

how we relate to our Sexual Energy that

can make it good or bad toxic or healthy

and I understand everyone has their

beliefs that come from different reasons

and I completely understand and can see

everyone's Nuance belief system about

this but for me I think that this is a

natural energy within us and the thing

that causes Distortion is having an

unhealthy relationship with sexuality

and can lead people to do really evil

and heavy things when they're pressing

themselves when they're shaming

themselves versus when they're like okay

I feel this within me how do I cultivate

this in a healthy way how do I move with

this Sexual Energy with intention and I

feel like that is a very empowered place

to move from and as much as I talk about

sex and share sex tips it's not my

driving force in life it's not what I'm

constantly thinking about but I am

deeply aware of my relationship to it

and how I want to use it which has been

a really healthy thing for me and has

actually brought me out of imbalance

like before I really started doing my

own research and taking field notes

about sex and sexuality I would use sex

for validation and would use sex for

Comfort or would be lonely and want to

be cuddled and the only way I knew how

to get that from a man was to have sex

with him and it felt so painful to my

spirit because I wasn't genuinely

listening to the information of my body

the root of those desires that I wanted

intimacy and safety and connection and

the more that I rest into my natural

desires and feelings I can actually be a

really safe person for my body and I can

advocate for my experience if it is a

natural experience within us then it

can't be wrong just like our feelings

our Sexual Energy and where it lies it

can't be right or wrong it's just what

is and if there's a desire to have a

higher libido then there's ways that you

can Implement that but if you're happy

with where you're at and not needing to

prioritize sex not needing to think

about it then that sounds [ __ ]

amazing to me and I think what is the

most like radiant and energetically

attractive is deeply knowing yourself

and owning your desire also translates

into the bedroom with the authenticity

of the sex you're having like there's

even less performance if you're like hey

I probably only want to have sex like

once a week I feel most excited when I

have you know 30 minutes of foreplay and

I feel most excited when we're breathing

regularly together the moment that you

start advocating for who you are in one

facet of your life I really feel like it

ripples out into so many other forms and

especially sharing one like sexual or B

boundary for me makes me feel so

empowered to be like and while we're at

it let me unleash all these other things

that I know about my body and I feel

like we all know so much about our

body's needs and how they respond and

react and we keep them to ourselves and

then feel deeply shameful or confused or

even resentful when other people aren't

aware of how to treat us so there's no

information that your body is telling

you that can be right or wrong but it's

just about sharing that and presenting

that and putting yourself in situations

where it is safe to be in what whatever

your embodiment is and it took me so

long to learn that sex should be about

enjoying the experiences in my body and

a reciprocal exchange of pleasure rather

than just a thing that made me feel

validated in my like femininity or a

thing that made me feel validated

because I was good at it it was a

performance for most of my life because

I was [ __ ] shame from such a young age

just because I developed early and I was

fetishized because I'm Asian and started

to you know get curves and a chest and

my intimate moments with my body in my

room were so holy and so wonderful and

then when I went out in the world and

had to you know navigate what to do with

everyone's thoughts about my body and

there were so many because I was [ __ ]

shamed and boys would make up rumors

about me that everyone would believe and

the girls would hate me it's just a

classic tail is old this time but um

even having older men looking at me

Desiring me and and uh even assaulting

me like it made me so confused this

sexual life force that I had became

theirs like it was no longer my sacred

intimate thing that I was experiencing

and became this thing that other people

were distorting but I have had so much

obligational sex in my life and it

honestly breaks my heart for my younger

self but I know that this is a shared

experience among so many women that it's

easier to just say yes and have

obligational sex then deal with the

discomfort or displeasure of men to hold

that awkwardness feel feel like it's

really scary I have felt untrusting of

myself because I would put myself in

positions with people that I was then

afraid to say no to or afraid to

advocate for my pleasure around and I'm

at a point in my life where I've

realized that being comfortable is the

most conducive and important thing for

any relationship that I'm having and

definitely for sexual relationships if

I'm not comfortable speaking a boundary

to you if I'm not comfortable being like

ugly around you then we can not be

having sex and by that I mean like the

level of comfort I have around my

sisters where I haven't washed my hair

in 3 days I have like you know acne and

I'm not bothered by it and I'm bloated

like if I can hang with you in that

specific scenario there's no part of me

that is performing or sucking in or

needing to put foundation on but that is

my meter now because um I have been in

long-term relationships for most of my

life and the past I think 6 months I

have been single and I have had Little

Lover ships and moments with people and

I've noticed how the sex really does not

expand the plot if I'm having it without

feeling fully comfortable with the

person and for some people sex might be

that conduit to that like okay now I

feel deeply intimate and connected but

for me um especially with men it doesn't

really add or further the connection if

I'm not already feeling completely

unfurled unclenched in my body and

honestly I have Li a lot in my life

specifically two men about what my

actual feelings were out of fear of

hurting them and I am not afraid about

you know being radically honest with

friends being real but with men in

particular maybe it's because there's an

inherent fear there I am afraid to even

say actually I don't think that I want

to date you or I don't think this

relationship is working for me it's like

such an intense thing um it's shocking

to hear myself say it but I feel like

this is just so normal I have been

practicing radical honesty in my life

the past few months because I have been

single for the longest period of time

that I've ever been in my adult life

which is literally like 6 months and so

I've had many opportunities to use my

voice and it's been my new little thrill

lately is to say the most honest and

true thing and I've learned that when

I'm lying about how I actually feel in a

relationship it completely taints the

relationship it doesn't allow for actual

intimacy to take place and preventing

their evolution honestly and I do

believe that women being radically

honest with men as frequently as

possible is so needed in this world I

really feel like we're having such

different experiences and it's kind of

nice to bridge that Gap but I'm at a

point where I am in a little celibacy

phase again I don't know how long I will

be in it I've learned that there are so

many forms of intimacy that mean more to

me and that like please and pleasure me

more than just having sex it almost

feels like sex is the easiest thing that

you can do when you have attraction or

connection to someone it's like the

easiest thing you can fall into to but

what I find to be more intimate is being

deeply radically honest is sharing parts

of yourself that you can't share with

most people or having experiences that

you could only have with that one

specific person or growing together

growing more Brave more courageous by

someone's side like that kind of thrill

means more to me than just seeing

someone naked or them seeing me naked

and connecting that way I think that I

need all those other forms of intimacy

first and then sex is really just like

an iing on the cake deeply deeply

connecting with someone emotionally and

spiritually that does so much more for

me and I'm at a point where I have

actual guy friends and to feel valued

and to feel deeply seen and like I can

have such a good time with someone

especially a man without sharing my body

has been life-changing but I still have

a fear of men in general and I will feel

anxiety and smallness and I'll be a

little bit on edge literally anytime

that I'm around a man anytime there

engaging with me my defenses are

slightly up I'm like what does this

person want how am I going to escape the

situation even if it's literally a

conversation I'm just being completely

real here usually like how do I get out

of this as quickly as possible

especially if I can tell they're hitting

on me or wanting something from me and

in some ways I feel like I've been

disempowering myself a little bit

because I just allow all of their energy

and their preference or their desires to

take up all of the space in the room or

in my judgment instead of being like

fully rooted in my my energy and what I

want and how I want to be respected and

just vocalizing that it would just be

like oh there's a man like completely

All of Me disappears now and I've been

working on that I've been much better at

just fully being in my power and being

like what do you no thank you like I

don't want you to engage with me in this

way however I because I feel this with

every single man initially when I start

dating someone or talking to them I'll

feel all these feelings of anxiety and

over time I can get to a place where

that is completely gone I feel so

comfortable with them so safe with them

and have the best friendships that's how

I feel about literally all of my guy

friends initially I'm like have all my

boundaries up and then over time I'm

like oh my God you're actually so safe

so cool and now we're homies and so for

me I've been learning how to be

Discerning about how much of that

anxiety is my own and how much of it is

them actually making me uncomfortable

and I have a list of questions written

down for what I kind of think in my head

when I'm like okay do I want to keep

engaging with this man or not Does He

surround himself

and is he nice with women who aren't

conventionally attractive AKA does he

respect and value women that he wouldn't

sleep with um how does this person speak

of their exes or their mother what is

their relationship like to the earth I

swear when I see men like littering or

just being so disrespectful to the earth

I know everything I need to know but how

do they respond to my boundaries big or

small or in general how do you feel

about me turning you down if you're

really flirty with me and I'm not

reciprocating that are you even able to

clock that I'm uncom comfortable or that

it's not reciprocal I am excited to keep

facing this growing Edge because I know

that it's just a reflection of this

Society my conditioning even just

growing up in like an Asian household I

feel like there is such deep programming

in me to be small and quiet and make

every situation better and not ruffle

any feathers and I feel like it's

definitely one of my assignments to grow

deeper into my voice and to into my fire

I am also Latina and whenever I stick up

for myself I feel my mom and that blood

inside of me but regardless having guy

friends is also the result of some heavy

boundaries too personally really like to

send text messages of like I really

loved hanging out with you today I can't

wait to get to know you better as a

friend I'm really looking for friends in

my life at this point that is 100% all

I'm available for so I ask that any

other feelings or desires like

completely get cut off if they're there

because I will feel disrespected if you

hit on me or try to push anything

forward in that way but I'm just really

excited to be genuine homies how does

that sound for you something like that

that's how I would say it but you can

use it in your own voice and also I've

learned to not embody my little afrodite

Essence as much I just read this book on

Greek archetypes and I definitely feel

like this Aphrodite sexual goddess sort

of energy is what I always lean into

like I would just be going on a hike

with someone alone a man alone wearing a

skimpy little outfit and just being like

M this feels so good maybe jumping in

the river naked just fully out there

like encompassing all of my sensuality

and my you know whatever being in my

body and I think that's really beautiful

but I've learned and I don't put the the

responsibility solely on a man to not

feel some type of way about me doing

that and I can see okay this might get

confused if it's not so clear that I'm

not interested in them so I try not to

be that open when I'm around men's that

I literally just want to be friends with

I know it's like a revelation but I just

thought I could be that way around

everyone but I really do Reserve that

for my sisters or guy friends that I've

had maybe for longer periods of time or

in group settings really I think that's

like another big one am not always in

that Essence around them and I like to

cover up a little bit more I'm cutting

off any sexual energy that might want to

arise here I I met this really cool girl

when I was in Egypt and she was telling

me how she loves having guy friends and

she was so beautiful so gorgeous and I

was like

how do you do that and she told me that

she has these really clear conversations

with them but she also like allows

herself to sometimes be in that you know

super open flirty nature not with them

but maybe they'll go out drinking and

she'll just feel really beautiful and

want to put on her little dress and

interact and she lets them know like

sometimes I am going to fully be in my

body that has nothing to do with you and

the moment that you do try to make a

move on me that is the moment that our

friendship ends so please know that when

I am in my sensuality it's just for me

and it's just my experience that I'm

having with the world and it's not about

me trying to show off for you it's not

about me trying to entice you and it

will still make me uncomfortable if you

come at me with that energy so that

could be something that's worked up to

but I really don't interact with men

much in my life because most of them

don't meet the criteria that I just

shared in this video most of them aren't

deeply respectful and just happy to be

in my life in any capacity it's whatever

is going on there I don't always feel

safe so I have very few men in my life

and women are literally the center of my

life and I'm so happy with it because

women have taught me how I want to be

loved women have taught me what ease and

comfort feel like in my body women you

know being a queer person have taught me

what consent is because they would ask

me how my body felt or if I wanted them

to keep going you know they were

constantly checking in with my momentto

moment experience and I feel like that

definitely translates outside of the

bedroom it is so easy to imagine me

spending the rest of my life just being

surrounded by my close girlfriends and I

would be so happy with that that's like

Mo plan a and then if a man is in my

life then he'll be part of that but I

just don't want or need for any other

form of love or intimacy because I'm so

met by my female friends and it is a

healing love and it is romantic and it

is intimate and it makes me more Brave

and it expands me and if I don't feel

that with a man then I know that I don't

don't want them in my life like if they

don't give me that same or a similar

level of comfort and excitement and joy

and permission to be myself that's not

going to add to my experience and I just

want to speak on that for a second

because I think a lot of us who maybe

also have fear of men or anxiety in the

world around men um when we find someone

who we're really comfortable with and

that anxiety over time dissipates it can

be easy to hold on to them beyond the

point that they should be in our lives

like maybe you're in a relationship with

someone who isn't fully treating you

right or you've outgrown

but you don't want to have to go out

there and start dating again or start

relating to men in every way so you end

up staying in a relationship longer than

you should because of that and I just

want to remind you something that I've

also had to remind myself that it took

time to get to that point of comfort

with a man and if it's worth it and it

feels so right with someone you will

take the time to get comfortable with

them and feel just as deeply intimate

and loved and maybe cared for in a way

that feels even more true or right for

you versus the relationship that you're

and out of fear of having to start over

again and having female connections

having forms of unconditional stable

love in your life will prevent you from

going to places that are half-baked or

that are not high quality nourishment so

that for me like having a group of women

who Unconditionally Love You is the most

powerful thing that I that I have in my

life and that any person can have in

their life it will inform your decision-

making in such a lovely way and help you

to make decisions out of love and trust

and abundance rather than lack and fear

and aversion so biggest takeaway from

this video is um invest in your female

friendships specifically the ones that

feel like family that feel like you can

grow old together like it is a force

like no other and it just fully fulfills

my heart but it definitely has helped my

relationship with men and helped me

gauge what I should be entertaining the

treatment that I should receive and I

also like the idea of having your female

friends sort of vet the men that you're

with or at least allowing yourself to

receive honest feedback from them like

okay what do you think about the way he

treated me or how our Dynamic was with

respect to you in in your decision-

making but the more that I spent time

with partners with my friends I realized

like if there was any dissonance or

their Reflections meant so much to me

because I trust their voice of love and

I trust their Viewpoint so fully and I

noticed that when I didn't want to bring

my partners around my friends it's

because they were clearly not treating

me right and I was embarrassed because I

knew my friends would clock that and not

let me be mistreated moving forward

those are just some lingering thoughts

for me but yeah I just feel so deeply

fulfilled right now I'm not running away

from anything I'm not attaching to

anything I just feel so deeply fulfilled

with where I'm at and that's what makes

me feel like I could just stay right

here in this little pocket with my

girlfriends and not have a worry in the

world and I only want connections of any

sort sexual romantic spiritual that are

going to add to the plot and further my

bravery and excitement for this life and

I'm just really excited to keep being

myself I think that in many

relationships that I've had with men

specifically I've put parts of myself on

a damper tucked certain parts of myself

away they couldn't really exist within

my relationships and now that I'm single

I'm like wow literally all of me can

exist in every single space that I'm

creating for myself and it's the first

time and I'm so happy that I've given

myself this time to learn myself more

learn my values more be single so that I

could feel into what what intimacy

actually means to me in Sex and now I

really know what I'm prioritizing and

it's literally just unconditional love

and um authenticity and people that make

it feel easy for me to be honest and

honestly myself and I feel so deeply

empowered and like I'm rooted in a soft

little nest of myself but yeah let me

know your thoughts and where you're at

right now and um how you're relating to

the world

and to men and sex and love I feel like

love is just such a moving force in the

world it's not something that we could

ever Force chemistry is not something

that we can force and when your life is

full of so many different pockets of

stable unconditional love there is such

a Harmony that you have with the

universe it feels like you feel the

Abundant nature of love in every single

day in every single moment and there's

no grasping and it is such an empowered

place to rest and um I just wish wish

and pray that for all of us but thank

you so much for being here and sharing

this time with me I hope to see you in a

video soon bye