5 OCD Themes & How To Apply Unconditional Acceptance
Summary
TLDRThe video script delves into the concept of unconditional acceptance as a vital tool for overcoming OCD. It discusses how mainstream advice often overlooks the importance of not being scared of one's fears. The speaker shares personal insights and examples of common OCD themes, emphasizing the need to change one's mindset to respond rationally to fears, rather than seeking reassurance. The goal is to live with uncertainty and accept the possibility of feared outcomes without being consumed by them, ultimately aiming for a mindset similar to those without OCD.
Takeaways
- 🌟 The video discusses the concept of 'unconditional acceptance' as a tool for overcoming OCD, emphasizing its role as an additional strategy rather than a replacement for existing treatments.
- 🔧 The speaker shares personal experiences to illustrate how unconditional acceptance helped in their recovery from OCD, suggesting it can be a key part of a comprehensive treatment approach.
- 📚 The script introduces five common OCD themes: relationship OCD (ROCD), health OCD, harm OCD, existential OCD, and contamination OCD, offering to explore how unconditional acceptance applies to each.
- 🤔 The importance of distinguishing between rational fears (like a child running in front of a car) and irrational OCD-driven fears is highlighted, to understand the nature of OCD better.
- 🧠 The video emphasizes the irrationality of OCD fears, explaining that what one person fears might not be feared by someone else with a different OCD theme, indicating the subjective nature of these fears.
- 💡 Unconditional acceptance is presented as a way to address the root of fears within OCD, aiming to change the mindset to respond rationally to these fears, similar to how someone without OCD would.
- 👥 The script provides examples of applying unconditional acceptance to different OCD themes, such as accepting the possibility of not loving one's partner or living with a disease like HIV.
- 🌐 The concept of 'rational thinking' and 'unconditional self-life and other acceptance' is introduced as a framework to stop being scared of things, rooted in the philosophy of Albert Ellis.
- 👁 The video suggests using real-life examples and stories of people who have faced and adapted to life-altering situations as a way to gain perspective on OCD fears.
- 🔄 The speaker warns against using unconditional acceptance as a form of reassurance in the moment, but rather as a long-term shift in belief system and mindset.
- 📈 The importance of self-education and understanding one's own OCD is underscored, encouraging viewers to learn about unconditional acceptance and apply it in a way that makes sense for their personal journey.
Q & A
What is the main theme of the video script discussing?
-The main theme of the video script is the concept of unconditional acceptance as a tool for overcoming Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), including various types of OCD such as relationship OCD (ROCD), health OCD, harm OCD, existential OCD, and contamination OCD.
What does the speaker suggest is the fundamental aspect of OCD?
-The speaker suggests that the fundamental aspect of OCD is the fear of certain things, and the core of overcoming OCD is learning not to be scared of these things, which is where unconditional acceptance comes into play.
How does the speaker define unconditional acceptance in the context of OCD?
-Unconditional acceptance, in the context of OCD, is defined as a framework that helps individuals confront their worst fears at the core of their OCD and learn to stop being scared of them, aiming for a rational response rather than constant fear.
What is the purpose of using examples of different OCD themes in the script?
-The purpose of using examples of different OCD themes is to illustrate how unconditional acceptance can be applied to various scenarios to help individuals see how they could apply this concept to their own OCD experiences.
What does the speaker mean by 'rational thinking' in relation to OCD?
-Rational thinking in relation to OCD refers to the process of recognizing that the fears associated with OCD are irrational and learning to respond to them in a way that is more aligned with reality and less driven by anxiety.
How does the speaker describe the difference between rational fear and irrational fear in the context of OCD?
-The speaker describes rational fear as a natural response to a real and immediate threat, such as a child running in front of a car. In contrast, irrational fear, which is common in OCD, is the constant worry and compulsive behavior that is disproportionate to the actual risk or threat.
What is the role of exposure therapy in treating OCD according to the script?
-Exposure therapy is mentioned as a gold standard treatment for OCD, which helps individuals train themselves not to be scared of something by gradually facing and becoming desensitized to their fears.
What is the speaker's view on the relationship between unconditional acceptance and reassurance in OCD recovery?
-The speaker views unconditional acceptance as distinct from reassurance. It is not about convincing oneself that everything will be okay, but rather about fundamentally changing one's belief system to respond rationally to fears, similar to how someone without OCD would.
How does the speaker address the concern that unconditional acceptance might be used as a form of reassurance?
-The speaker emphasizes that unconditional acceptance should not be used as a momentary reassurance to dismiss thoughts. Instead, it should be a deeper shift in mindset and perspective that changes the way the brain fundamentally responds to fears.
What advice does the speaker give to individuals seeking help for OCD?
-The speaker advises individuals to learn about OCD themselves, to question and understand the therapies being suggested to them, and to continue learning and exploring different approaches until they find what works for them.
What is the significance of the speaker's personal experience with OCD in the script?
-The speaker's personal experience with OCD is significant as it provides credibility and depth to the discussion, showing that the concepts being discussed have been applied and are effective in real-life situations.
Outlines
🧩 Unconditional Acceptance in OCD Recovery
The script introduces unconditional acceptance as a key component for overcoming OCD, emphasizing its role alongside mainstream advice. It explains that acceptance is not about dismissing other treatments but adding an extra tool to the recovery toolbox. The speaker shares their journey from 60% improvement to full recovery through this approach. The video aims to provide examples of common OCD themes, such as ROCD, Health OCD, Harm OCD, Existential OCD, and Contamination OCD, and how unconditional acceptance can be applied to each. The concept is framed as learning not to be scared of the irrational fears that OCD presents.
🌱 Applying Unconditional Acceptance to Relationship OCD
This paragraph delves into the application of unconditional acceptance to relationship OCD, using the fear of not loving one's partner as an example. It suggests that accepting the possibility of being in a less-than-ideal relationship can be liberating, as many people live with such realities without constant fear. The speaker uses 'Man's Search for Meaning' by Viktor Frankl to illustrate that even in the worst-case scenarios, people can find meaning and move forward. The goal is to rationalize the fear and accept that life can go on, even if the relationship is not perfect.
🏥 Health OCD and Accepting Life with Chronic Conditions
The script discusses Health OCD, particularly the fear of catching diseases like HIV, and how to apply unconditional acceptance. It suggests observing real people who live with such conditions, finding comfort in their resilience and ability to find purpose despite challenges. The aim is to train the mind to respond healthily and rationally to the fear, accepting that life is possible even with illness, and not to live in constant fear or avoidance.
🚫 Addressing Harm OCD and the Concept of Bad Acts, Not Bad People
The paragraph addresses Harm OCD, focusing on the fear of causing harm to others. It emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between bad acts and bad people, using TED talks and expert opinions to highlight that even individuals who commit heinous crimes have value and deserve rehabilitation. The goal is to unlearn the societal narrative of labeling people as monsters and instead see the potential for change and reintegration.
🌐 Existential OCD and Accepting Uncertainty
This section explores existential OCD, such as the fear of living in a simulation, and how to apply unconditional acceptance. It suggests making peace with uncertainty and the idea that even if one's fears are true, life can still be lived meaningfully. The speaker shares a personal anecdote about feeling trapped, illustrating the intense emotions associated with existential fears, and encourages viewers to accept that they can endure even their worst fears.
🛡️ Contamination OCD and the Reality of Making Others Sick
The script addresses Contamination OCD, specifically the fear of making others sick through contact. It points out the reality that diseases are transmitted between people and uses the example of COVID-19 to highlight this fact. The speaker suggests that exposure to the fear, such as working in healthcare, can be a powerful way to confront and accept the possibility of causing illness, with the goal of living without the constant fear of contamination.
🔄 The Importance of Unconditional Acceptance in OCD Therapy
The final paragraph underscores the importance of unconditional acceptance in treating OCD, especially when traditional therapies fall short. It warns against using acceptance as a form of reassurance and instead encourages a fundamental shift in belief systems. The speaker shares their experience with a CBT therapist who helped them explore irrational beliefs and worst-case scenarios, leading to a deeper understanding and application of unconditional acceptance in their recovery process.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Unconditional Acceptance
💡OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder)
💡Exposures
💡Rational Thinking
💡Fear
💡Relationship OCD
💡Health OCD
💡Existential OCD
💡Contamination OCD
💡Recovery
💡Compulsions
Highlights
Unconditional acceptance is introduced as an essential tool for overcoming OCD, complementing mainstream advice.
The concept of unconditional acceptance is explained as learning not to be scared of things, which is the core of OCD.
Exposures are discussed as a method to train oneself not to be scared of something, a key part of treating OCD.
The speaker shares personal experiences with OCD recovery, emphasizing the role of rational thinking.
Examples of common OCD themes such as RO-CD, Health OCD, Harm OCD, Existential OCD, and Contamination OCD are provided to illustrate the application of unconditional acceptance.
The irrationality of fears in OCD is highlighted by comparing them to the fears of others with different OCD themes.
A rational response to fears is contrasted with the constant terror experienced by those with OCD, aiming for a healthy reaction similar to non-OCD individuals.
The importance of accepting the possibility of living with one's worst fears without being terrified by them is discussed.
The application of unconditional acceptance to Relationship OCD is explored, using the example of not loving one's partner.
Health OCD is addressed by observing people living with life-altering conditions and finding purpose despite the challenges.
Harm OCD is tackled by recognizing that bad acts do not define a person's entire value, and rehabilitation is possible.
Existential OCD is discussed, with the example of living in a simulation, and the importance of accepting uncertainty.
Contamination OCD is addressed by acknowledging that people can live with the consequences of causing illness to others.
The role of exposure therapy in confronting fears is emphasized, alongside unconditional acceptance.
The importance of not using unconditional acceptance as a form of reassurance but as a change in belief system is highlighted.
The speaker encourages self-education and questioning therapy methods if they do not seem helpful for OCD recovery.
The video concludes with an invitation for viewers to ask questions and engage in the comment section for further discussion on OCD themes.
Transcripts
[Music]
foreign
[Music]
self life and other acceptance too in
order to get better like I have
and this channel talks so much about
unconditional acceptance
and it's basically the one thing that I
had found to be missing
from mainstream advice about how to get
better from OCD so think of it like an
additional
tool in your toolbox for getting better
it's not radically saying everything
that you've read about how to get back
from OCD is wrong and you have to use
this it's not saying that it's an extra
tool that got me from feeling sixty
percent better with my OCD to
considering myself recovered
so today is going to be about sharing
examples of common OCD themes
including
rocd
Health OCD harm OCD
existential OCD and lastly contamination
OCD
if your theme sits outside of these feel
free to comment in the comments box and
I'd be happy to follow up with you on my
next video which is going to be a q a
with any of your OCD questions I thought
I would cover this today because anytime
I talk about unconditional acceptance
whoa the sun's bright
I find that people coming underneath
thing but what about this fear what
about that theme how does it work for
this one and I thought if I give
examples to you for each of these five
themes it's going to help you see how
you could apply it to your own
experience of OCD suffering so first of
all in a nutshell what even is
unconditional acceptance well if you
think about how OCD works
the really simple like
explanation I can give based on my own
experience as a recovered OCD sufferer
is it's about learning not to be scared
of things and if you think about it
exposures which are talked about as the
gold standard triosity treatment
they are literally about helping
yourself and training yourself not to be
scared of something so it makes perfect
sense now when I was a kid I thought of
myself as a scaredy cat I was scared of
everything and anything I was always
anxious imagine what my childhood would
have been like if I wasn't scared
anxiety would have nowhere to latch OCD
would have nowhere to latch so if you
can take yourself out of
getting stuck into really
ex you know ex like what's the word
really difficult to understand
explanations of OCD loads of
psychotherapy type language you know
like what a therapist would use or a
life coach someone who's explaining it
in detail
if you can like forget about all the the
heavy stuff not that it's not valid just
that thinking of it in a simplistic way
how can we get better from ocde just
means how can I stop being scared of
this thing
and really when you think about it
being scared of something in an OCD way
is irrational and this is true of all
things and I can prove it to you now
the thing that you're terrified of
if someone else with a different OCD
theme isn't scared of that it means it's
subjective to you it means that you're
scared of it because it's latched for
you but they're not terrified of it
because it hasn't latched to them and
I'm not saying that what you're scared
of isn't
by definition scary in reality now
there's a good example here
if I is a mother saw my child right this
second run in front of a car it is very
rational for me to be absolutely
terrified for my anxiety brain as a
mother not as an OCD sufferer to kick in
for me to move into fight or flight
run into the middle of the road try and
save my kid that is completely rational
so it is a scary thing when it happens
in reality
what isn't rational is for me as a
mother to live my life constantly
worried that a harm will come to my
child and living in a cycle of
compulsions to prevent it from happening
that's highly irrational so when you
think about it this idea of rational
thinking and unconditional self-life and
other acceptance as kind of brought
about by Albert Ellis
it makes perfect sense how to stop being
irrational and being scared of things
let's use a framework of rational
thinking so unconditional self-life and
other acceptance is about looking at the
worst fear at the core within your OCD
and figuring out how you can stop being
scared of it I'm not saying that you
shouldn't not want to get really ill or
you shouldn't feel fear at the idea of
actually having cancer in real life like
it's justifiable if someone has been for
tests and they're told look we're
concerned about something in your body
and in the next two weeks we're going to
test it and we're going to tell you if
you've got cancer I think it's pretty
justifiable to be feeling quite scared
at that but it's not rational to be
constantly terrified of these things so
unconditional self-life and other
acceptance gets into the root of these
fears and pulls them up it helps us to
no longer be terrified of these things
but to instead have a healthy response
in the same way that someone without OCD
would have that's what I always talk
about we're not aiming for acceptance of
the worst case scenario we're not aiming
to go oh I'd love it if I got terminally
ill or if my partner laughed me or if I
harmed somebody that's not the aim the
aim is to respond rationally in your
mind
okay
then example one is to do with
relationship OCD what if I don't love my
partner how can we apply unconditional
life acceptance to this what if I don't
love my partner well I've been through
this one it's a pretty easy one to
explain many people live their life with
partners that aren't ideal for them in
reality you will hear couples moan about
their other half and say oh I ate him
I'm gonna I'm gonna Whack Him around the
head whatever it is like they will
openly say I can't stand them about
their partner oh I'm locked in now
that's how a lot of people will talk
about marriage or being in a
relationship they're not scared of it
they're living that reality and they
don't want the hassle of breaking up
with somebody because fundamentally at
some level they know that they you know
chose that partner for a reason and that
there's no perfect relationship out
there so people are living your feared
scenario and they're doing okay
what I found really useful for this was
looking at scenarios I would consider to
be unlivable like the book Man's Search
for meaning by Viktor Frankel where I
think his whole family were like
executed in front of him and then he was
like living in the concentration camp
for three years and just that the worst
imaginable life situation you can
picture
and it's like it's not that I want to be
in a relationship where I don't love the
other person but it's also perspective
of the volume of freedom I have if that
is my worst thing going on in my life so
the worst thing that going on in your
life is that you're with someone you
don't really love
and you're gonna miss out on potentially
the love of your life let's say let's
let's go down the route the opposite of
reassurance in that there is one person
for everybody there's only one person
you're gonna meet in your whole life
who's ideal for you and make peace that
you're never going to be with them it's
not great but it's not the worst thing
in the world versus some other
situations and I think that can really
be useful because it's about making
peace with how the world really is
and you can end up going into a little
bit of reassurance with this but also
just making peace with the fact that no
relationship is going to be perfect
anyway you give up the the person who
you're with now because of some physical
flaw that you've perceived
awesome incompatibility that you've
perceived and you go for someone else
that you think is going to be a better
fit for you and then three years later
you figure out that actually they've got
all these things that you had in your
past relationship and you really miss
them then but ultimately unconditional
life acceptance is really about letting
go of this idea that there is an answer
and also making peace with the fact that
if you chose the wrong decision you
could live with that I'm completely a
piece of rocd now it doesn't affect me
anymore at all and I'm that's because I
don't just tell myself that I wouldn't
mind if I didn't love my partner it's
because I truly feel it I know that
there's so many other things in my life
like my business my like fitness goals
my kids my family I'm also at peace with
the idea of divorce if one day things
didn't work out when we separated I have
applied unconditional life acceptance
and self-acceptance to the possible
shame that would come from that the
families are both quite religious and
the idea of divorce is not really
something that people want in the family
and actually in the past the families
have had divorce and it was frowned upon
and I can live with that because I know
that it would be fundamentally right for
me and so that's how for RSV it can work
Health OCD
okay what if I catch HIV
okay this is a common one and people
will go through life finding ways to
avoid catching diseases or HIV or
anything like that this simple one is by
looking at the fact that people do live
with these conditions I found it really
useful and I've observed people who got
comfortable with watching as exposures
watching documentaries about people who
live with extremely life-altering
conditions and the fact that they've
still found a way to find purpose and
meaning in their life even though life
is extremely challenging versus what it
was so again these people are not saying
I wish that I had this I'm so glad this
happened but sometimes what happens to
us
is we think that something's going to be
like all all ending in life and we won't
be able to handle it and then you see
people who are handling it and you
realize that you could handle it too
or even maybe you couldn't maybe you
would just be in an absolute State and
that would be the cards that life had
doubt you so we're not aiming for
figuring out a way to be at peace with
it happening
we want to respond in the same way that
someone without Health OCD would which
is me I've never had health OCD if you
said to me
um how would you feel about getting HIV
I'm like
that wouldn't be fun at all I wouldn't
want that but I don't overthink it and
you've never thought about it
ever in my life I've never worried about
it and so I haven't put extra safeguards
in my life around living in a way that
like avoids bathroom I don't know what
exactly people would do to avoid but
like I just haven't worried about it too
much at all and so that's kind of what
you're aiming for is is recognize is is
working through to train your mind to
respond the same way I do which is
if I caught a disease I wouldn't like it
but I'm not scared of it I'm not doing
things to try and stop happening all the
time because fundamentally I know that
life would be possible after it and you
know you have and you can look at
certain illnesses that you're scared of
as well and see how things have advanced
anyway so life with HIV is very
different than it used to be anyway
but again that could like borderline on
reassurance maybe it would be awful but
definitely videos where you've seen
people who've been paralyzed or gone
through horrendous things and then
they've come out the other side and
they're powerful for it
harm OCD
let's give an example of what if I kill
somebody
like how this is the one that people go
you could never apply unconditional
acceptance to this one and I get it any
theme like Harmony pocd things that you
couldn't really voice out loud in the
general public that you're scared of
them for example you could voice out
loud in public I'm really scared I don't
love my partner and people would go meh
yeah me too I don't not really Foster my
partner anyway you could say I'm really
scared I'm going to catch cans I'm going
to get cancer known without an eyelid
you could say and the next example is
actually existential OCD and I was
literally at Easter Sunday lunch
yesterday and the whole family were
talking about what if we're in a
simulation and it was just really
friendly like the conversation was like
wow if somebody sufferers were here
they'd be like throwing up
and so what if I kill someone it's like
how on Earth do you apply it to that now
really important here it's not about
becoming at peace with oh yeah if I harm
someone it's fine it's not about that
it's about recognizing that there are
only bad acts not bad people this isn't
like an off-the-wall idea there are
Talks on YouTube like TED talks from
very senior officials within the police
force and psychologists who talk about
the fact that when someone commits the
most awful crimes in the world there's
still a person who deserves to be
rehabilitated supported integrated back
into society if possible one day and
they're actually condemning them for
life and not being curious and
understanding what happened behind the
scenes to lead to that and absolutely
not saying they shouldn't be in prison
but actually seeing a person has value
and their acts are good or bad is really
at the fundamental root of Harmony
pocity all these things unlatching and I
think for me this one is so common
it's such a common one where the
typical therapy for OCD doesn't quite
release it whether it's like real event
or mostly POC all the taboo type sexual
orientation ones
um
I can't remember the one where like a
transo city I think it's called
Toc
um and
you do exposures exposure exposure
exposure but it's because of the
societal shame that I feel so deep
rooted there's such a shame attached to
the fear itself we're not just ashamed
of the behaviors and the compulsions
like somebody who perhaps has a fear of
contamination of dirt and they're
repeatedly cleaning and checking things
and that's embarrassing and shameful
we're not only ashamed of our
compulsions but we're ashamed of the
content
and so by seeing that Society is
essentially irrational everyone that you
know they call people monsters it's like
there are people in the world who are
the result of genetics as well as lived
experience have ended up a certain way
and have committed really bad acts that
we massively disagree with that at the
relevant times must be segregated from
society in prison but they deserve
fundamentally to be supported through it
and to their value still exists and we
want to be helping them to change their
ways to reintegrate into society if
possible
and so what we want to do with things
that car mostly is look at well the fear
is societal rejection usually and the
idea of being in prison so really
looking at the fact that in prison you
could live in prison if Victor Frankl
can live in a concentration camp for
three years you actually can live in
prison you don't want to you don't want
to
I definitely don't want to but I could
if I had to societal shame stuff
unconditional self-acceptance this idea
of the myth of self-esteem
you know it's tough work it's hard it
takes time to sink in I strongly
recommend the myth of self-esteem by
Albert Alice particularly chapter four
where he really talks about the value of
a human being from memory and this idea
that there are Acts and again it's not
it's actually not
going down the route of reassurance it's
just a literal fact that people do
commit crimes so what you're scared of
people actually do do that and they can
go on in life it doesn't alter their
fundamental value of being alive it's
just that what they have done their act
is not good and so we're not saying that
we let them off the hook and
everything's fine and it's great it's
just recognizing that based on the fact
that the media has turned these people
into monsters the society is like this
is awful this is awful this is awful
which it obviously is an awful act
you're scared of being written off by
Society because that's terrifying and it
latches
so you can love yourself no matter what
happens what you've done in the past and
what you do you can strongly oppose acts
that you have committed but you can
still love who you are fundamentally
existential locally what if I live in a
simulation well like I said yesterday we
had a really interesting conversation we
were talking about artificial
intelligence and this idea that like
what if one day we are you know that
happens and then someone else said what
if we already are and we don't even
realize it
and so my friend was like oh my gosh I'm
gonna have a panic attack but she was
laughing at the same time she doesn't
have OCD but to appears from that OCD is
still a little bit freaky isn't it like
that when you think about you go oh
that's horrible I don't want that to be
true and then she moves on she doesn't
think about it again it's been 24 hours
she probably hasn't even it hasn't
crossed her mind but if she sees a
newspaper in a week and they talk about
it she'll get an icky feeling and then
she'll move on that is a rational
person's
response to existential fears and so
again what can we do to apply
unconditional life acceptance to have
that same response as my husband's
cousin
well we can make peace there and I
actually said to her I said well if you
are in a simulation right now we haven't
really noticed anyway we're talking
about it now what would the difference
be we're still just living so really
your issue is uncertainty is that you
don't know and you want to know why do
you need to know so that's what I would
say for as existential is like
and it's latched really really hard and
things aren't budging it's an acceptance
of or maybe I am I'm gonna live as if I
am in a simulation and I get it I get
that boxed in feeling I used to feel
trapped I remember having a panic attack
with my boyfriend when I was 18 and I
got out of his car and I went into a
field and he's like what's wrong I was
like I'm trapped he was like what are
you talking about you're in a field a
huge field of Woodlands everywhere I was
like I know but I'm trapped I've got to
get out I've got to get out
and that to me is what existential OCD
feels like you're trapped and again that
stimulation like get me out well
it's that making peace off if even if it
is I can I can go on there will be
moments in time where I forget about
this and where I can go on and it's not
ideal and it's not nice so yeah watching
exposure videos on those type of
theories can be really handy and then
the last one is contaminate
contamination OCD so let's look at what
you could do if you had a fear of what
if I make someone else sick so like if I
touch this and then I touch them then
they get sick and then I kill them or I
made them ill well people actually have
done this you know it it during covid
people were literally killing each other
weren't they because if they were
carrying and then they touched someone
else that was happening so you could be
as blunt as to say that though it's not
very kind thing to say about people
it's like literally that happens when
someone contracts something they are
literally getting it from someone else
so if you're a nurse or a doctor for
example with this type of fear that's
going to be particularly terrifying but
it's also going to be really good
exposure same way as becoming a mum for
me was really good exposure is that like
you're confronted with your fear
constantly so what if I make someone
sick okay
you can live with that you definitely
don't want it
you can live with it and it reminds me
of an example where
and it's one of my greatest real life
fears not OCD fears is that something
happened where my child could have ended
up really hurt because I looked away for
a second and it was a nearly could have
happened
there is only luck that meant that it
didn't happen to my child and so if that
had happened my life would be very
altered you know if if something bad had
happened I'm talking about near misses
that people have every day
if it had happened my life would look
like life with a disabled child
which doesn't make them any less lovable
in any way but I would have to carry the
fact that as a result of me not caring
with my child in the way I needed to in
that very second that happened and so
that would be something extremely
difficult to live with but OCD will want
to if OCD latched there it wouldn't it
would make me want to live my whole life
constantly having my child right next to
me not letting them run off
all the time this isn't my reality by
the way it would make me not want to let
other people have them all these things
but if I can make peace with the fact
that even if that had happened and I had
to carry that with me that guilt I could
still find a way to carry on and there's
proof in this in that this does happen
every day to people the things that we
think we couldn't endure we actually can
and so I hope that's been like a useful
like explanation of how unconditional
acceptance can be applied alongside the
other things that you're doing so if
you're doing exposure therapy living
with uncertainty because all of these
things do also require those things so
rocd you do need to be confronting the
fears for example my biggest OCD fear
was you don't belong with your partner
because you're tall and he's not tall
and tall people belong together and
short people belong together and so
you're not a fit and so that was like a
thing for me and so I decided to make
peace of the idea of I can be with
someone that I'm not compatible with and
so I started to wear heels on evenings
out so that I was taller and felt really
stupid and felt like I was being judged
and that people would think we were less
of a couple and it's and it just budged
then and I wore heels yesterday to a
lunch and I didn't even think about it
it's only now that I'm like oh wow I
didn't think about it whereas it used to
consume my every thought about what we
would supposed to be wearing and things
like that so exposures are important
uncertainty is important because again
existential
what if I live in a simulation of course
uncertainty is important because you can
never know you can never know these
things so this is still important but if
you're finding that the typical OCD
therapies that you are going through are
not working to the extent that you hoped
they would it's quite likely that what's
missing is unconditional acceptance that
deeper level of acceptance
when you think about it
when you're a kid people say to you
there's nothing to be scared of don't be
scared of the dark there's nothing to be
scared of and it is actually true there
is nothing to be scared of because
anything that you're scared of people
have lived in reality and even if it's
the most difficult life lived it's still
a life lived and so what you want to be
careful of with this is that you are not
using it as reassurance so if you're
currently practicing unconditional
acceptance as a result of these videos
or coaching or anything like that
what you need to look out for is that
you're not using it in the moment to
send away thoughts so for example
I can't be near that knife in case I
hurt somebody it's okay even if you hurt
somebody you're still valuable as a
human that's not what we're talking
about you have to change your
fundamental belief system so that your
brain physically is rational so it's
about changing our mindsets and
perspectives so that we have a framework
that's like people without OCD is as
simple as that
you are not using it as a reassurance in
fact I would argue it's the opposite of
reassurance rather than saying you would
never hurt someone it's like well what
if you did what then and I actually had
a CBT therapist who was like nearly
there with it all she actually talked
about Albert Alice and at the time I
hadn't realized she gave me a um a
worksheet to say there's 10 irrational
beliefs by Albert Alice rate yourself
one to ten of how you fit these for
example I must perform I must be perfect
all these things
and she talked to me about worst fears
and she said okay so what's the worst
that can happen as a result of this fear
and I said oh well I'm not going to harm
someone else she said and then what what
happens then you've done it what happens
then and I think that's so amazing that
a CBT therapist was talking about this
stuff because
it just makes so much sense and it keeps
it so much lighter it's just simple so I
wouldn't talk about this stuff if I
hadn't spent a very long time
understanding it applying it to myself
getting better gotten better and
actually deeply understood it I don't
think there's a question someone could
ask me that I wouldn't be able to go
yeah I thought about that and I would
say to you
unfortunately
in rocd in this world rotd in OCD in
this world it's commonly massively
misunderstood and underestimated I've
had therapists tell me just stop
thinking about it don't think about it
the more you think about it the more
it's going to tighten on and I'd be like
are you actually joking I wake up and I
have three seconds and then it hits me
and that's it until I wake up in my
nightmares the next night with it again
you are mental
it's commonly misunderstood the biggest
piece of advice I can give to you and
that applies to even if you reach out to
the life coaches who work for OCD
recovery this channel you have to learn
the ropes yourself
if the person you're working with if it
doesn't add up what they're suggesting
if it's like I don't get it I don't get
how this is going to help me don't do it
like learn about it ask the questions
I've had therapy in the past it's been
absolutely life-changing for me and I've
had therapy in the past there has been
detrimental and made my otd worse for
example
someone who doesn't understand OCD very
well may well create new compulsions
with you by telling you to I don't know
list out your values and why that means
you wouldn't commit an act well that's
literally a compulsion and so
there's some incredible experts around
the world in OCD absolutely amazing
there's some amazing resources out there
but if you're not getting better I
encourage you to look into unconditional
acceptance and learn for yourself never
stop learning it's the only reason I'm
better is that this account obviously
recovery was the only place that I found
it all to make sense and everything
connected and there was no unanswered
questions and there was no
like areas that weren't covered or areas
that were like oh I don't really know
about that though and so you've got to
find yours whatever works for you
um and any questions you have comment
below hope this was useful any themes I
missed comment below
give us a like and speak to you soon bye
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