What Is A Biblical Man? Jonny Ardavanis and Greg Gifford

Summary

In this insightful discussion, Dr. Greg Ford delves into the concept of biblical masculinity amidst a hyper-feminized culture. He emphasizes the importance of balancing strength, gentleness, and purity, and not just reacting to societal pressures. Ford outlines key character traits for godly men, such as courage, initiative, and respect for women, and stresses the necessity of being proactive in leadership roles. He also addresses the dangers of passivity in men, equating it to sin and urging men to take action in line with biblical teachings for the benefit of their families and communities.

Takeaways

• 🔹 The concept of biblical masculinity is a hot topic in a world that is increasingly hyper-feminized, and it's important to find a balance that is not just a reaction to culture or church teachings.
• 🔹 Biblical masculinity includes elements of strength, gentleness, protection, and provision, and should not be confused with machismo or a lack of leadership.
• 🔹 Recognizing the biological differences between men and women is a part of understanding masculinity, with men typically having greater physical strength.
• 🔹 Cultural expectations of masculinity can vary widely and should be evaluated in light of biblical principles, not blindly followed.
• 🔹 The Bible calls for men to exhibit courage (1 Corinthians 16:13), distinguishing them from cowardice, which is unmanly and unchristlike.
• 🔹 Purity is a key trait for men as per biblical teachings, emphasizing respectful and honorable relationships with women, including those not related to them.
• 🔹 Initiative is a characteristic of godly men, with passivity being unmanly and a form of sin, as seen in the story of Adam in Genesis 3.
• 🔹 Gentleness is also a biblical command for men, as seen in Ephesians 6 and Colossians 3, and is not to be confused with being harsh or rude.
• 🔹 A godly man should be others-minded, sacrificial, and exhibit a love for others, which naturally leads to gentleness.
• 🔹 The full-orbed character of God, including both strength and gentleness, should be the model for biblical manhood, avoiding the extremes of being overly macho or overly passive.
• 🔹 For men struggling with passivity, the scriptural call is to learn from the Bible, fill in knowledge gaps, and actively implement godly principles in their lives.

Q & A

What is the main topic of discussion in the video script?

The main topic of discussion in the video script is biblical masculinity and its balance between strength and gentleness, as well as the habits that men should implement to be godly men.

Why is the topic of biblical masculinity considered a hot topic in today's world?

The topic of biblical masculinity is considered a hot topic because we live in an increasingly hyper-feminized world, which prompts men, especially in the church, to respond by seeking to be more masculine, sometimes leading to an overemphasis on machismo or an incorrect understanding of biblical manliness.

What is the speaker's view on the quest for biblical masculinity leading to an extreme of machismo?

The speaker believes that the quest for biblical masculinity should not lead to an extreme of machismo, as it may be divorced from what true manliness and masculinity look like in the scriptures.

What does the speaker suggest is the right balance in understanding biblical masculinity?

The speaker suggests that the right balance in understanding biblical masculinity involves recognizing the importance of strength, protection, provision, and gentleness, and not just reacting against the culture or other groups' philosophies of manhood.

What are some of the character traits of a godly man according to the script?

Some of the character traits of a godly man mentioned in the script include courage, purity, taking initiative, gentleness, and being Christ-like in all aspects.

Why is courage considered an important trait for a godly man?

Courage is considered an important trait for a godly man because it is a call for boldness and strength under control, which is necessary for protection and leadership roles that a man may have in the family and church.

What does the speaker mean by 'strength under control' in the context of biblical masculinity?

By 'strength under control,' the speaker means that a godly man should have the strength to protect and provide but also the self-control to exercise that strength appropriately and not become overly aggressive or harsh.

How does the speaker address the issue of cultural expectations in relation to masculinity?

The speaker addresses the issue of cultural expectations by distinguishing between cultural norms that may not align with biblical principles or biology, and encourages men to understand and reject cultural expectations that go against their biology and the Bible.

What is the speaker's view on the role of a godly man in relation to women?

The speaker's view is that a godly man should be respectful, pure, and protective towards women, using his strength to care for them, and maintaining appropriate boundaries in relationships with women who are not his wife or family.

What advice does the speaker give to men who struggle with passivity in their lives?

The speaker advises men who struggle with passivity to recognize it as a sin and to actively work on taking initiative in their lives, learning necessary skills, and implementing what they learn from the scripture, regardless of their feelings.

How does the speaker discuss the importance of initiative for a godly man?

The speaker discusses the importance of initiative by stating that a godly man should not be passive or wait for others to tell him what to do. Instead, he should take the lead in his life, family, and church, understanding that there are roles only he can fulfill.

What does the speaker suggest as a way for men to grow in their understanding and expression of biblical masculinity?

The speaker suggests that men should surround themselves with other godly men who can encourage and challenge them, learn from the scripture, and apply the teachings in their daily lives, ensuring they are both hearers and doers of the word.

Outlines

00:00

🚀 Biblical Masculinity and the Quest for Balance

The conversation begins with a discussion on biblical masculinity, highlighting the challenge of defining it in a hyper-feminized society. The speaker emphasizes the importance of not swinging to extremes of machismo or gentleness but finding a balance that aligns with scriptural teachings. The importance of strength, protection, provision, and controlled strength is discussed. The speaker also addresses the cultural and scriptural expectations of men, suggesting that a true understanding of masculinity should guide men's habits and actions, leading to godly leadership within the family and church.

05:02

🌟 The Portrait of Godly Masculinity

This paragraph delves deeper into the characteristics of godly masculinity, starting with the acknowledgment of biological differences that inform masculine expression, such as physical strength. The speaker also touches on cultural expectations and how they can sometimes conflict with biblical teachings. The importance of distinguishing between cultural norms and scriptural guidelines is emphasized, with examples provided to illustrate the point. The paragraph concludes with a call to understand masculinity through the lens of scripture, rather than cultural trends.

10:03

🛡️ Courage, Purity, and the Distinctiveness of Biblical Manhood

The speaker discusses the importance of courage as a key trait of biblical manhood, using examples from everyday life to illustrate the point. Purity is also highlighted as a critical aspect, with the speaker explaining how men should relate to women with respect and honor, as sisters or mothers in Christ. The paragraph also touches on the idea of initiative, suggesting that passivity in men is unbiblical and unmanly. The speaker encourages men to take the lead in their families and communities, embodying the traits of a Godly man as outlined in scripture.

15:05

🌱 Gentleness and the Full-Orbed Character of God

In this paragraph, the conversation turns to the importance of gentleness in the context of biblical manhood. The speaker argues that while courage is essential, an overemphasis can lead to harshness, which is contrary to the gentle and lowly character of Christ. The speaker emphasizes the need for men to be patient, encouraging, and respectful, especially in their interactions with women and children. The paragraph concludes with a reminder that Christ's character includes both strength and gentleness, and that men should strive to reflect this balance in their own lives.

20:05

🔨 From Passivity to Action: The Call to Godly Manhood

The final paragraph focuses on the dangers of passivity in men and the importance of taking initiative, as called for in scripture. The speaker discusses the negative impact of a passive man on his family and the church, and how it can lead to frustration and damage in relationships. The need for men to learn and implement biblical principles in their lives is stressed, with the speaker encouraging men to surround themselves with godly influences that can spur them on to action. The paragraph concludes with a call to action for men to rise above passivity and embrace the fullness of their God-given roles as leaders and protectors.

Keywords

💡Biblical Masculinity

Biblical Masculinity refers to the characteristics and behaviors that are considered manly and virtuous from a scriptural perspective. It is the central theme of the video, emphasizing the need for men to embody traits like courage, purity, and gentleness as instructed by the Bible. The script discusses how societal expectations can sometimes distort this concept, leading to either an overemphasis on physical strength (machismo) or an underemphasis on traditional male roles (seen as emasculating).

💡Hyper Feminized World

The term 'Hyper Feminized World' is used in the script to describe a cultural context where feminine traits and values are overly emphasized, potentially leading to a perceived imbalance in traditional gender roles. This concept is important in the video as it sets the stage for the discussion on the importance of maintaining a biblical view of masculinity in contrast to societal pressures.

💡Machismo

Machismo is a term that refers to a strong sense of manliness or an exaggerated form of masculinity, often associated with traits like physical strength, bravery, and a sense of pride. In the script, it is presented as an extreme that some men might swing towards in reaction to a perceived feminization of society, which can be at odds with the gentler, more nuanced aspects of biblical masculinity.

💡Gentleness

Gentleness, as discussed in the script, is a key attribute of biblical masculinity. It is presented as a counterbalance to the more aggressive traits sometimes associated with manliness. The script emphasizes that true masculinity includes being kind, mild-tempered, and respectful, especially towards women, which is in line with biblical teachings such as not provoking children to anger or being harsh towards one's wife.

💡Courage

Courage is defined as the ability to face fear, danger, or adversity with confidence. In the context of the video, it is a critical component of biblical masculinity. The script mentions that being a coward is unmanly and unchristlike, highlighting the importance of courage in protecting and providing for one's family, as well as in standing up for one's faith.

💡Purity

Purity in the script refers to moral and sexual innocence, particularly in the way men relate to women. It is linked to the biblical command for men to treat women with honor and respect, avoiding impure thoughts or actions. The concept is used to illustrate that being manly involves maintaining a godly standard of purity, which is a stark contrast to societal misconceptions of masculinity.

💡Initiative

Initiative is the ability to assess and initiate things independently. The script discusses how passivity is unmanly, and that men are called to take initiative in their lives, families, and communities. This concept is tied to the idea that men should be proactive leaders, not waiting for others to dictate their actions or the direction of their lives.

💡Passivity

Passivity is the state of not being active or engaged, and in the context of the video, it is presented as a negative trait that goes against the biblical call for men to be leaders and initiators. The script warns against the dangers of passivity, equating it to a sin that can be as destructive as explosive anger, and emphasizes the need for men to be active and engaged in their roles.

💡Strength

Strength, in the script, is not only about physical power but also about the moral and spiritual fortitude required to fulfill one's role as a man. It is tied to the concept of using one's biology to inform the expression of masculinity, such as using physical strength for tasks like moving day, but also includes the strength to stand up for what is right and to protect and provide for others.

💡Culture

Culture, as mentioned in the script, refers to the social customs and norms that influence our understanding of masculinity. It is discussed in terms of how cultural expectations can sometimes conflict with biblical teachings, leading to confusion about what it means to be a man. The script encourages discernment, suggesting that men should align their behavior with both their biology and the Bible, rather than solely with cultural trends.

💡Christlikeness

Christlikeness is the quality of being like Christ in character and behavior. The script uses this term to describe the ultimate goal of biblical masculinity, which is to emulate the qualities of Jesus, including gentleness, courage, purity, and initiative. It is the overarching principle that includes all the other traits discussed in the video, providing a comprehensive model for godly manhood.

Highlights

Discussion on the concept of biblical masculinity in a hyper-feminized world and its importance in the church.

The potential swing to machismo or gentleness and meekness as extremes of biblical masculinity and the need for a balanced approach.

The importance of recognizing the physical strength aspect of masculinity as a biological factor.

Cultural expectations of masculinity and their potential conflict with biblical principles.

The distinction between masculine and feminine roles and the importance of maintaining these distinctions in society and parenting.

The scriptural call for men to exhibit courage and boldness, contrasting with cowardice.

The requirement for men to treat women with purity and respect, as sisters or mothers in Christ.

The importance of initiative in men, as passivity is considered unmanly and against Godly character.

The role of gentleness in biblical masculinity and its distinction from harshness.

The balance between the different aspects of Christ's character, including both strength and gentleness.

The necessity for men to take initiative in their roles in the family and church, as passivity can be destructive.

The importance of learning and implementing biblical knowledge to overcome passivity in men.

The potential negative impact of a passive man on family dynamics and the importance of active engagement.

The advice for young men to surround themselves with godly male role models to foster growth in biblical masculinity.

The call for men to not only learn but also to apply biblical principles in their lives to be effective godly leaders.

The final emphasis on the importance of being a godly man and the personal responsibility each man has to pursue this goal.

Transcripts

Dr gford thanks for sitting down I

wanted to talk to you about biblical

masculinity we're really talking about a

Hot Topic because we live in an

increasingly hyper feminized world right

and I think men specifically and

particularly in the church respond to

that and go we need to be men and I

think that there is an element where

that is good and right and biblical but

sometimes on a quest to be a Biblical

man's man we swing to the side of the

spectrum of machismo that maybe actually

divorced from what manliness and

masculinity looks like in the scripture

right um so someone might go from it's

it's machismo and then someone will go

no it's not that it's it's gentleness

and meekness which would be true but it

also includes this element of strength

and protection and provision and it

almost appears at times like our

philosophy of manhood is a reaction

against either the culture or what this

church or group is doing and it seems to

not have the

appropriate balance and I don't even

necessarily I'm not fond of the word

balance because it sometimes feels

synonymous with compromise but there is

a reality where it's strength under

control um talk to us just about

biblical masculinity what are some

habits that men should Implement uh

where they could be a godly man if I'm a

woman which I'm not but what should they

be looking for uh in just the habits of

a man that hey this is a guy that could

lead my family things like

that yeah so I'll start with the first

one so let's start with the idea of

Godly masculinity because I think if you

paint that picture that is what a lady

wants in the end she wants a Godly Man

and I'm open to critique you know but

every time I say that I say ladies I

think you want a Godly Man and I've yet

to have a lady come up and say Dr gford

I don't like I I want a macho you know I

want the over maized over masculinized I

want this kind of like brutish man or I

want this eminite man I want this man

that just lacks leadership and yeah so I

think that is the that's what the lady

wants in the end but let's talk about

the portrait itself it seems that

there's a few things that we have to

wrestle with that we haven't always

given careful place to um I've been

surprised how much this is a popular

topic cuz I it just always seems

straightforward to me like I just yeah

it's pretty black and white yeah I was

just like you know um seems like a man

does these things and doesn't do these

things and so what I I tried to do on

transformed is I tried to work through

with which is your podcast for people

that don't know yeah yeah so transformed

and I was I did like the seven-part

series on masculinity and I was trying

to help people see what makes you a man

and not a woman and that's the that's

the piper ISM the piper quote is which

like which is like a fighting topic you

know which is crazy you know but I'll

hear it described like this like a man

is patient it's like well a woman's

patient like that's the fruit of the

spirit like what are we talking about

here so some of those things it was just

like yeah I don't know if you've really

answered the question what is the

character trait of a man and not a so if

a woman did not have that it's okay in

her sanctification but if a man did not

have that then that's going to be a

significant problem and that's where I

think you start to distill down if you

can begin to just ask if a woman didn't

do it she would still be honoring to the

Lord in all fairness if she didn't do

that thing she would still be honoring

to the Lord I think you're now getting

at the character traits of the

distinction yes the distinction so all

right so there's a couple of things you

got to acknowledge biology I mean like

short of being ignorant to a certain

degree like our biology informs

masculinity to include things like

physical strength you know uh physically

we are stronger primarily not because we

work out more but just because the Lord

has built us differently muscularly and

so just include biology as part of

masculinity you use your biology to

inform the expression of your

masculinity moving day yeah who are you

calling on moving day dudes the dudes

yeah um Can a lady move boxes and

couches absolutely she can more power to

her if she wants to yeah but everyone

like this is common knowledge everyone

knows that the physical strength of a

man is greater than that of a woman

which is why the whole women wom's the

dudes competing in women's sports stuff

is it's so yeah it's so touchy right now

because even an unbeliever knows there's

a physical Advantage yeah okay so you

got your biology but then you also have

these weird cultural

expectations MH if if you're not careful

I think you can actually ignore what a

North American culture expects of a man

yeah what do I mean by that I mean

technically I could be here right now

dressed like someone from Afghanistan

kind of a long robe and you'd be

thinking like hey Greg what's the matter

with you and I'm like Johnny this is

acceptable masculinity in Afghanistan

and you need to learn to deal with it

like think of our Hudson Taylor or China

a lot

ofat I'm not going to show you my hands

right now but there are things where

it's like you have to accept some of the

way the culture expects a man to act

yeah and that's parenting in a nutshell

to a certain degree it's like why do I

say no Barbie well it's not the plastic

fibers are going to infect you and

somehow that's sinful it's well that

typically corresponds to being a female

in our culture boys so that's why you

don't play with Barbies now how do you

know when you say culture is wrong and I

reject it it's when the culture goes

against your biology and against the

Bible yeah so if culture says I need to

have laser hair removal to be a man I

say thank you but no thank you yeah

doing it so I think that's like I think

something what you're saying is is

really helpful there is a level where

everyone casts everything as a

subjective opinion so my son likes

Barbies like what's the big idea it's

plastic what's the difference between a

soldier and a you know American Girl

doll you know um well you would say a

lot because it corresponds to what's

culturally identifiable with either

masculinity or femininity that's right

and you're maybe allowing for him to be

desens Iz to the distinction in those

roles I think even in in the realm of

parenting that's really important so you

talked about first our biology right

then just the cultural expectation I

think it's true like sometimes people

are like yeah well this is what they

wear over there and you're like well

over here we wear pants and a t-shirt we

don't wear dresses just like I people

you used the argument with like William

Wallace was the manliest man in the

world and he wore a kilt you know what's

to prevent guys from wearing a skirt and

you're like well first of all we're not

uh 500 years ago is every man wearing a

skirt right now in all no no one's

wearing a skirt um and I don't see any

bag pipes so I think that that idea is

it's really helpful like there's a

cultural expectation and that cultural

expectation is morphing though so then

even like when you go well 30 years ago

would have been a guy can't wear this

but now guys wear black earrings and

paint their fingernails right so how do

you tell a 21-year-old cuz that's a new

thing guys paint their nails black um

it's cool well I would say historically

that has been identified with females

they paint their nails dudes do not

paint their nails right but then they

would say well that's just a cultural

argument that was the cultural thing

back then that's morphed how do you even

go well understand this from a

historical perspective you know how

would you respond to that rebuttle yeah

I think some of those are easy rebuttal

the same thing I would say about wearing

a dress or the same thing about wearing

makeup I mean there are certain things

where you say the better part of wisdom

is not to miscommunicate the nature of

who you are yeah so am I going to say

you're an absolute sin for painting your

nails I'm not going to say that but I am

going to say that you're

miscommunicating masculinity in that way

why because you cultivate masculinity or

you cultivate femininity in another

sense yeah sliding or climbing yeah like

one way or the other yes so

which are you an absolute sin no but

you're you're miscommunicating the fact

that you're a male Yeah by by doing

certain things that Corr respond to a

female okay so no I agree and so one

biology two cultural expectation three

what else biblical masculinity character

traits character traits character traits

okay talk to me about some of those so

think of what's acceptable for a lady to

not do and honor Jesus um when we're

told 1 Corinthians 16:13 act like men

yeah that is a call for courage yeah

boldness if a man is a coward that's

actually unmanly and un Christlike for

him easy example we're both married

middle of the night we hear that crash

you know that noise in the house usually

for us it's like a picture fell and my

wife's like hey babe I just heard

something I'm like what it literally is

all the

pictures where can you go see what that

was and I'm like actually no I'm kind of

scared can can you go Che honey please

go check the

door yeah she she brings the whacker

yeah yeah are we safe

yeah not only is that unmanly of me but

it's actually going against Godly

character which is courage so does that

mean that you can't be fearful as a man

it doesn't mean you can't be fearful it

just means that you're not going to be

fear-driven you are bold and courageous

knowing that God is with you yeah an

easy example is courage first character

trait I think the next one is the idea

of Purity yeah there are certain things

1 Timothy 5: two treat all you know

treat the older ladies as as moms excuse

me the younger women as sisters in all

Purity yeah so what does that mean the

way you relate to a woman should be

inity you are relating to her as a

sister or a mom with all Purity yeah now

what does that mean it's unmanly to be

impure towards women yeah that's unmanly

but it's also un Christlike yeah and and

in that way there are things that I can

say to a brother that I cannot say to a

sister there are things that sisters can

say to sisters sisters in Christ

brothers in Christ but for me to say

that to a female is unmanly and un

Christlike so that's distinctive for a

man yeah there are parameters that are

distinctive for men a couple of others

to think about maybe just one one a

quick thing on the Purity thing so in

our world being a man is sometimes being

a woman I you know you prove your

manliness by being a woman resp Bond

yeah like from a Biblical perspective

that's actually the antonym of biblical

man manhood yes because manhood has a

proper perspective that this is a sister

or a mother in Christ and I'm to honor

her with my Purity not to fraud heronian

that's right and I think Purity is one

way that you act dishonorable towards

women yeah but if when I say honorable

towards women I think it's actually

bigger than Purity as well you're

respectful yeah shiverers you use your

strength to protect women not including

not not just your wife and sister or

daughter but that you're actually using

your strength to care for women that are

not related to you there are there are

certain aspects of what it looks like to

be a man and using your character your

physiology to care for women even if

you're not married to them or related to

them being honorable towards a woman

okay so you mentioned uh courage Purity

what else yeah Purity I would add

initiative to this and in fact I think

passivity is part of what Adam is

confronted for in Genesis 3 you listen

because you listen to the voice of your

wife what's the break down there well

it's not that men should begin to ignore

their wives like oh that's the key

takeaway it's that Adam failed to take

the initiative to be a Godly leader

that's right so passivity is unmanly

yeah just straight up it's unmanly I

actually think it's okay for a lady to

demonstrate that she's not going to be

the one to take initiative she's not

going to be the one to step up and be

the leader of her home like she is

waiting on her husband to do those

things so that is a distinction like a

lady can wait and not be the one to take

initiative but the man needs to take

initiative and he needs to understand

that in family in church there are

certain places where he is the one he is

the only one that can fulfill that role

so to speak so what does it mean to be

manly well a characteristic of a Godly

Man is that he takes initiative no one

has to micromanage him no one has to

tell him how to run his own life he owns

his own life he eats his own bread 2

Thessalonians 3 like he's got this

mentality of I am not going to be told

what to do in the sense of I'm not going

to be micromanaged but I'm going to I

need someone to spurt me on on

everything in life yeah no totally like

you shouldn't have to come to me and

tell me how to run my life and do basic

things I'm taking initiative to take

care of those things that's so helpful I

remember my dad always used to even ever

since I was a boy he would always tell

me never let the grass grow under your

feet John you know the way you parent a

son is different than the way he

parented his Five Daughters you know but

the main thing I would say the main

thing outside of like love the word of

God was take initiative take initiative

take initiative and I think I watched so

many guys kind of waiting for something

to happen but that is a huge distinction

between a man and a woman there's an

acceptability of the passivity in a

woman it's actually sometimes healthy

you know like she's not trying to take

his spot or she's doing her best to know

her role and what's not her role and

what's his role yeah that's helpful any

others you said just in that character

realm yeah I would include gentleness

because I actually see that Ephesians 6

talks about not provoking your children

to anger or Colossians 3 talks about not

being harsh toward your wife so why not

front low gentleness um well I think the

scripture includes it but I think some

of the most basic things are the 1

Corinthians 1613 which say be courageous

act like men be courageous but yet a man

that starts to over machiz things can

become a harsh man which is why fathers

are told not to exasperate their kids or

be harsh with their wives so what do I

mean by that well if you want to choose

like a synonym for not being harsh

that's what I'm calling gentleness so

does that mean a lady can be harsh no

that's not what I'm arguing I'm saying

there are specific commands to men to

not provoke their children or not be

harsh toward their wife that are not

given to women so what am I what are we

calling that that it's that's gentleness

that he's even killed he's Meek he's

kind of mild-tempered part of it's just

godliness right like like that's

encourages other people he's patient

with other people desires to build them

up and edify them he's not using you

know crass harsh or crude or rude

language yeah I think sometimes people

but guys don't always get that they

often get to like this look out there

little lady you know like let me get

that for you and it just comes off as

Gruff and harsh and it's like hey you're

unmanly right now because you're

actually un you're undermining the very

character that God's called you to

pursue yeah and part of yeah part of

that is like obviously having like a

sacrificial attitude and part of that

even goes along with the courage thing

like in order to be courageous in a lot

of those different Realms you have to be

others minded Y and being others minded

necessitates that you have a love for

other people which hopefully produces as

a you know and is a catalyst to

gentleness towards them and I do think

even what you said about not front

loading is important because a lot of

people Spectrum swing in their theology

philosophy oh this is the gruff guys I

don't want to be the gruff guys I don't

want to be them so manliness is

gentleness and meekness which is true

and you put it forth out of you know not

necessarily because it's peripheral but

because there are certain things that

maybe you should have fundamentally

right and you could say that it should

be um the first one you said again was

courageous or your biology then you said

that there is an element of cultural

expectation then you mentioned those

character traits of Purity and courage

and then you could say just on top of

that that and there's a godliness Christ

likeness and then that Christ likeness

is an umbrella that includes he says

he's gentle and lowly right and then

people will say if you told them well

Jesus is lowly and gent gentle they'll

say well he also drove the the animals

out of the Temple and so there is a

level where well yeah exactly you know

like yes there's a both and yes and I

think sometimes people are like my Jesus

my manhood is the drive the animals out

of the temple Jesus and then my Jesus is

let the little children

yes and they miss that there's a full

ored character of God there that should

be our model for manliness yes that's

right that's right cuz if you

overemphasize the courage you're I think

you're over Macho ising certain things

and everybody's driving a truck and

hunting and it's just like okay that's

cool for some guys but not every guy has

to do that yeah you're a mustang guy

you're yeah it's got to be a Mustang or

a Harley honestly or or you're not manly

but then the other side is but if I if I

lead with gentleness then the gentle guy

needs to be courageous and there may be

the naturally Meek Mr Rogers type that

actually needs to step his game up a

little bit and be a little bit more

proactive and being honorable to women

or using his strength to care for them

and being courageous

simultaneously so imagine this this

comes full circle now because think you

brought up the idea of of ladies and how

this benefits ladies imagine a godly man

that is exhibiting these things a lady

gladly and freely and joyfully wants to

be a part of that yeah it's not a chore

to have to maybe biblically submit to a

guy that's a Godly courageous Gentle

Leader you know like that's not um

that's not a hard thing to sign up for

in that regard that's so important I

think um you know even part of the local

church is I think there are different

guys that maybe have you know rub off on

you in certain ways and go man that guy

is gentle and meek in his character and

maybe this guy like if let's say I'm a

guy and I struggle with that courage

part and I am passive what would be your

you know just your biblical input there

obviously run to the scripture see who

Christ is but um how do I go about man I

need to surround myself with men that

can push me to be a man yes what does

that look like for me if I'm a young man

or I'm 45y old and I'm a passive guy

what would you say yeah passivity is

just as crushing as the angry husband I

think sometimes even more because angry

the angry husband is so palpably wrong

yeah but the passive guy is just Mr

vanilla yeah and he just never does he

never Rises up like he never helps he's

always got to be asked the kids are

yelling at Mom and he doesn't intervene

we need more money just pilot a

situation it's just kind of like he's

just there and most of the time he's not

a bad guy he's just very passive in that

way what he's got to see is that his sin

is just as taxing as if he were

explosively angry him being passive is

destructive and it's important to see it

as a sin I think yeah like oh I think

most people would go are you serious a

sin you know just maybe continue to Har

Genesis 3 yeah like go read Genesis 3

that's what the Lord tells to Adam

because you listened to the voice of

your wife because he was passive he then

failed and transgression Romans 5 enters

in through one man so this mentality you

have to see as being dangerous yeah the

passive guy who's a passive single guy

will be a passive married guy so boom

roasted yeah you just think about like

if you're 25 and you're just kind of

like puts in along through life and

you're working part-time at GameStop and

there's not a whole lot going on here

kind of the appropriate cultural analogy

gam it usually resonates last time I was

I was in GameStop last time with one of

my sons I was like yep

still so yeah because there'll be

passive single guys will be passive

husbands okay so who are passive fathers

who then just start to frustrate

everybody in the proc let's say your

father talking to a your daughter she's

interested in a guy I mean for me that

would be one of my first questions yes

is he a I use the language is he a

go-getter does he get after it yeah does

he take initiative because to your point

it's more dangerous than a guy that has

explosive anger issues right and has

more damage um so yeah what does that

guy do or what is this young man who's

single or this married man that's

looking at his three kids you know

nagging his wife and he's just got a

default position of passivity what does

he go do yeah these guys need to learn

what to do if they don't know what to do

yeah like fill in the ignorance with

Biblical knowledge and then do it yeah

so think just do it yeah yeah there's a

certain sense in which maybe you don't

know how to be a a parent and you got to

learn that skill totally I'm open to

that so you you use the authoritative

word of God to fill in what's lacking in

your understanding

and then you have to say to him that

knows to do the right thing and doesn't

do it to him at in like I know what I

should be doing I need to do it now

that's going to be the biggest

difference so skills learn the skills

learn the listening skill learn the

parenting skill learn the conflict

resolution skill learn those things you

may not know but then you need to

implement because if you don't you can

learn all of this truth from the

scripture and Vex your family even more

frustrate the people that are around you

even more implementation being a hearer

and a doer of the word so if if that guy

is hearing this right now there has to

be kind of this shock into action you're

going to frustrate those that are around

you you're going to damage things that

really matter if you don't learn what

God's word says and then Implement and

Obey what it's calling you to do whether

you feel like it or not doing what God's

word's calling you to do that's so

helpful and I think even Rootin in all

these things and even what you're saying

this is a scriptural command act like a

man and so understanding even even our

vulnerabilities and our dispositional

Tendencies are so important so Greg

thanks for just your input and regarding

one that there is a biological component

there's a cultural expectation then

there's a character kind of a principle

set that were to be courageous and pure

that we're to take initiative and we're

to be gentle appropriately gentle and so

I think all these things are important

my prayer for my own life is that I'd be

a godly man I don't I I always pray Lord

uh help me to be a godly man because I

think there is a distinction between

what godliness looks like for my wife

and what godliness looks like for me

yeah and so I think even the way that

you've set up that distinction is so

helpful so thank you for your time and

your input in this for absolutely