Attraction (Why You Are Attracted To The People You're Attracted To)
Summary
TLDRDieses Video-Transkript erkundet die Realität der Anziehungskraft als ein Element des unbewussten menschlichen Verhaltens und unterscheidet sie von Wertschätzung und Liebe. Es deutet darauf hin, dass Anziehungskraft ein Anziehungsangebot ist, das auf einer Skala reicht von Vorliebe bis zum Verlangen und kann ein Zeichen für persönliche Erweiterung sein. Es wird betont, dass Anziehungskraft nicht Liebe ist und dass sie einseitig und selbstzentriert ist. Liebe hingegen ist ein bewusster Akt des Hinnehmens der anderen Person. Das Video fordert dazu auf, Anziehungskraft bewusst zu erkennen, um fundierte Beziehungsentscheidungen zu treffen.
Takeaways
- 🧠 Attraktion ist ein elementarer Bestandteil des unbewussten menschlichen Verhaltens und existiert in Form einer zweiseitigen Münze mit höchster Freude auf der einen Seite und tiefster Verzweiflung auf der anderen.
- 🔍 Manche Menschen verwechseln Wertschätzung, Anziehungskraft und Liebe miteinander, obwohl sie unterschiedliche Zustände darstellen.
- 💭 Attraktion ist eine Anziehungskraft, die ähnlich wie ein Verlangen auf einer Skala von Vorliebe bis zum Verlangen, Bedürfnis und Verlangen existiert.
- 🤔 Attraktion kann ein Indikator sein für etwas, das man will oder braucht, oft unbewusst, und das man durch eine Beziehung erreichen möchte.
- 💔 Attraktion ist nicht Liebe. Attraktion ist einseitig und selbstbezogen, während Liebe eine aktive Entscheidung ist, jemanden als Teil von sich selbst zu betrachten.
- 👥 Attraktion kann bedeuten, dass man Aspekte in einer Beziehung sucht, die einem selbst fehlen oder die man in einem Partner will.
- 🔑 Das Erkennen dessen, was man durch eine andere Person erreichen möchte, ist entscheidend für bewusste Entscheidungen in einer Beziehung.
- 🚫 Attraktion ohne Bewusstsein kann zu einer verzweifelten Situation führen, ähnlich einer Person, die aus Verzweiflung giftiges Obst isst.
- 🌐 Attraktion ist ein Aufruf zur persönlichen Expansion und zeigt auf, dass es ein persönliches Verlangen gibt, das man erfüllen möchte.
- 🧬 Die biologischen Aspekte von Attraktion, wie Pheromone, können physische Anziehungskräfte erzeugen, die nicht unbedingt mit mentaler oder emotionaler Kompatibilität übereinstimmen.
- ❤️ Attraktion kann ein Indikator für innere Fragmentierung sein und ein Aufruf zur Wiedervereinigung der eigenen Persönlichkeitsaspekte, die man ablehnt oder unterdrückt.
Q & A
Was ist die zentrale Botschaft des Skripts über Attraktion?
-Die zentrale Botschaft des Skripts ist, dass Attraktion ein komplexes Phänomen ist, das oft mit anderen Gefühlszuständen wie Bewunderung oder Liebe verwechselt wird. Es ist wichtig, die Realität der Attraktion zu verstehen und zu akzeptieren, um bewusste Entscheidungen in Beziehungen zu treffen.
Was unterscheidet Attraktion von Liebe?
-Attraktion ist einseitig und hängt von persönlichen Wünschen und Bedürfnissen ab, während Liebe ein bewusster Zustand ist, in dem man jemanden als Teil von sich selbst annimmt und dessen Bedürfnisse und Wünsche als eigene berücksichtigt.
Wie wird Attraktion im Skript als eine Art 'Zweigeld' beschrieben?
-Attraktion wird als Zweigeld beschrieben, weil sie auf einer Seite höchste, glückliche Erregung und auf der anderen Seite tiefe, verzweifelte Leiden darstellt. Diese Polarität zeigt die unterschiedlichen emotionalen Zustände, die durch Attraktion ausgelöst werden können.
Was ist der Unterschied zwischen 'Bewunderung', 'Attraktion' und 'Liebe' gemäß dem Skript?
-Bewunderung bedeutet, den Wert und die Bedeutung von etwas anzuerkennen. Attraktion ist eine Anziehungskraft, die auf einer Skala von Vorliebe bis zum Verlangen und Begehren reicht. Liebe hingegen ist ein bewusster Zustand, in dem man die besten Interessen des anderen als Teil der eigenen berücksichtigt.
Wie kann Attraktion ein Zeichen für persönliche Entwicklung sein?
-Attraktion kann ein Zeichen für persönliche Entwicklung sein, da sie darauf hindeutet, dass es etwas gibt, was man will oder braucht, und das man möglicherweise durch eine Beziehung erreichen möchte. Dies kann ein Anlass sein, sich selbst zu erweitern und neue Erfahrungen zu suchen.
Was sind 'Overlays' im Kontext der Attraktion?
-Overlays beziehen sich auf die Tendenz, unsere eigenen Vorstellungen und Wünsche auf andere Personen zu projizieren, ohne ihre tatsächlichen Eigenschaften zu erkennen. Dies kann dazu führen, dass wir Personen attraktiver erscheinen lassen als sie sind, weil wir sie in die Rolle eines unserer inneren Wunschbilder casten.
Wie kann Attraktion zu einer Verstärkung der eigenen Fragmentierung führen?
-Attraktion kann zur Fragmentierung führen, weil sie oft auf einer Polarität beruht, die durch die Ablehnung oder das Verneinen bestimmter Teile von uns selbst entsteht. Wenn wir diese Attraktion nicht bewusst erkennen und integrieren, können wir weiterhin in diesem Zustand der inneren Spaltung gefangen sein.
Was ist die 'Gesetz der Spiegelung', auf das sich das Skript bezieht?
-Das Gesetz der Spiegelung besagt, dass alles, was in uns ist, auch extern projiziert wird. Dies bedeutet, dass Menschen in unser Leben erscheinen, die einerseits eine perfekte Entsprechung zu unseren akzeptierten Teilen sind, andererseits auch zu denen, die wir ablehnen oder verneinen.
Wie kann die biologische Komponente der Attraktion zu Missverständnissen führen?
-Die biologische Komponente der Attraktion, wie die Reaktion auf Pheromone, kann dazu führen, dass wir physisch anziehende Menschen bevorzugen, auch wenn sie in anderen Bereichen nicht kompatibel sind. Dies kann zu einer Überschätzung der tatsächlichen Beziehung führen.
Was ist der Hauptunterschied zwischen bewusster und unbewusster Beziehungswahl im Skript?
-Der Hauptunterschied liegt darin, dass eine bewusste Beziehungswahl auf einer tiefen Kenntnis und Anerkennung der eigenen Bedürfnisse und Wünsche beruht, während eine unbewusste Wahl oft nur auf der Attraktion und den damit verbundenen Gefühle basiert.
Wie kann Attraktion dazu beitragen, dass wir uns selbst besser verstehen?
-Attraktion kann als ein Anzeichen dafür dienen, dass es in uns Teile gibt, die wir langst verneint oder abgelehnt haben. Indem wir diese Attraktion erkennen und integrieren, lernen wir mehr über uns selbst und können bewusster über unsere Beziehungsentscheidungen nachdenken.
Was ist die Rolle von 'Inkompatibilität' in Beziehungen gemäß dem Skript?
-Inkompatibilität in Beziehungen bedeutet, dass zwei Menschen so unterschiedlich sind, dass sie nicht harmonisch zusammenleben können. Attraktion allein impliziert nicht Kompatibilität; es ist wichtig, andere Faktoren wie gemeinsame Werte und Lebensziele zu berücksichtigen.
Wie kann die Bewusstseinserweiterung durch Attraktion erreicht werden?
-Durch das Erkennen und Integrieren der Teile von uns selbst, die durch die Attraktion zum Ausdruck kommen, können wir unsere Bewusstseinserweiterung fördern. Dies bedeutet, dass wir uns bewusster mit unseren Bedürfnissen und Wünschen auseinandersetzen und sie auf eine Weise angehen, die zu unserem Wohlergehen beiträgt.
Outlines
🧲 Die Realität der Anziehungskraft
Der erste Absatz behandelt die Anziehungskraft als eine der größten unbewussten menschlichen Verhaltensweisen, die sowohl bei bewussten Individuen existiert. Es wird betont, dass Anziehungskraft ein zweiseitiges Phänomen ist, das von höchster Freude bis tiefster Leidenschaft reicht. Der Text erklärt, dass Anziehungskraft, Zuneigung und Liebe unterschiedliche Zustände sind und dass Anziehungskraft eine Art von Zug, vergleichbar mit dem Verlangen, ist. Anziehungskraft wird als Indikation dafür interpretiert, dass man etwas will oder braucht, das möglicherweise nicht bewusst ist. Es wird betont, dass Anziehungskraft oft ein Zeichen dafür ist, dass man in einer Beziehung nach persönlicher Expansion sucht, um etwas zu erreichen, das man nicht besitzt oder nicht erlebt. Der Absatz endet mit der Unterscheidung zwischen Anziehungskraft und Liebe, wobei Liebe als ein bewusster Akt der Aufnahme einer anderen Person in sich selbst beschrieben wird.
🔍 Die Bedeutung von Anziehungskraft und Überlagerungen
Der zweite Absatz erläutert, wie wir der Anziehungskraft Bedeutungen zuweisen, die oft zu Problemen führen, da wir sie mit Liebe und Kompatibilität verwechseln. Es wird dargestellt, wie wir unsere Fantasien über das, was wir in unserem Leben wollen, auf andere Personen projizieren, ohne deren tatsächliche Eigenschaften zu erkennen. Der Text warnt vor der Überlagerung, bei der wir die Realität einer Person ignorieren und stattdessen eine fiktive Rolle, die wir in unserem Leben für sie schaffen, bevorzugen. Es wird betont, wie wichtig es ist, die Unterschiede zwischen Anziehungskraft und einer echten Beziehung zu verstehen, und verweist auf ein weiteres Video mit dem Titel 'OVERLAY' für eine tiefere Erklärung.
💔 Fragmentierung und die Anziehungskraft der Selbsteinheit
Der dritte Absatz beschäftigt sich mit der Fragmentierung des Bewusstseins und der Anziehungskraft als ein universelles Zeichen für persönliche Einheit. Es wird erklärt, dass das Bewusstsein in einem Zustand der Fragmentierung existiert und dass wir Teile von uns selbst ablehnen, unterdrücken und ableiten, die wir für unsicher oder schädlich halten. Dies führt zu einer inneren Polarität, die Anziehungskraft auslöst. Die Realität, die wir um uns herum erleben, spiegelt unsere inneren Zustände wider, was bedeutet, dass wir uns angezogen fühlen können durch Menschen, die Aspekte von uns selbst widerspiegeln, die wir abgelehnt haben. Der Text betont die Bedeutung der Erkenntnis dieser Dynamik für ein besseres Verständnis der Anziehungskraft und der persönlichen Entwicklung.
🧬 Der Einfluss des Körpers auf die Anziehungskraft
In diesem Abschnitt wird der Einfluss des Körpers auf die Anziehungskraft diskutiert, wobei betont wird, dass der Körper eigene Wünsche hat, die möglicherweise nicht mit unseren geistigen und emotionalen Wünschen übereinstimmen. Es wird erklärt, dass biologische Faktoren wie die Reproduktion und die Reaktion auf Pheromone die physische Anziehungskraft beeinflussen können, unabhängig von der Kompatibilität einer Person in anderen Bereichen. Der Text gibt Beispiele dafür, wie physische Anziehungskraft zu Überlagerungen führen kann, bei denen das Verhalten oder die Eigenschaften einer Person, die wir attraktiv finden, überbewertet werden. Es wird empfohlen, die physische Anziehungskraft kritisch zu betrachten und sie nicht als alleinigen Indikator für die Ehekompatibilität zu verwenden.
💓 Die Anziehungskraft als Ausdruck von Sehnsucht und Wunsch
Der fünfte Absatz betont, dass Anziehungskraft ein natürlicher Ausdruck von Sehnsucht und Wunsch ist, der nicht zu leugnen ist. Es wird erläutert, dass es besser ist, unseren natürlichen Anziehungskräften zu folgen, als sie zu ignorieren oder zu verneinen, da dies zu einer Erweiterung führt. Der Text argumentiert, dass die Anziehungskraft eine Botschaft des Universums ist, die uns auf unsere Bedürfnisse und Wünsche aufmerksam macht, damit wir bewusster Entscheidungen treffen können. Es wird betont, dass Anziehungskraft nicht bedeutet, dass wir mit jemandem kompatibel sind, sondern dass wir eine Verbindung suchen, die zu unserem Wohlergehen beiträgt. Der Absatz endet mit der Aufforderung, bewusst zu werden, was wir wirklich wollen, und Anziehungskraft als Anruf zur Integration und bewusster Wahl zu nutzen.
🤝 Anziehungskraft und Beziehungskompatibilität
Der letzte Absatz fasst zusammen, dass Anziehungskraft ein unvermeidliches Element des Lebens ist, das durch das Streben nach Einheit und den natürlichen Verlangen geprägt ist. Es wird betont, dass Anziehungskraft nicht gleichbedeutend mit Kompatibilität ist und dass echte Beziehungskompatibilität bedeutet, dass beide Partner gut zusammenpassen und einander unterstützen. Der Text erklärt, dass Inkompatibilität zu Scham und mangelnder Liebe führen kann und dass bewusste Entscheidungen für eine Beziehung getroffen werden müssen, die auf Prioritäten und echte Kompatibilität basiert. Es wird ein Aufruf zum Bewusstseinserwerb und zur Entwicklung einer Wertschätzung für alles im Leben gegeben, wobei Anziehungskraft als Alarmglocke für unerfüllte Wünsche oder Fragmentierungen im Selbst interpretiert wird.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Anziehungskraft
💡Wertschätzung
💡Liebe
💡Polarität
💡Fragmentierung
💡Bewusste Wahl
💡Überlagerung
💡Persönliche Expansion
💡Kompatibilität
💡Bewusstsein
Highlights
Attraction is a fundamental aspect of human behavior, even among the most conscious individuals.
Attraction is a two-sided coin, with blissful excitement on one side and desperate suffering on the other.
People often confuse appreciation, attraction, and love, which are distinct states.
Attraction is a pull, similar to desire, and exists on a sliding scale from preference to craving.
Attraction indicates a personal wanting or needing, which may not be consciously recognized.
The more attracted we are to something, the more desperate we feel for it, reflecting a perceived distance.
Attraction may suggest that we want something in a partner that we are not consciously aware of.
Attraction is not about the other person but often about what we want to achieve through association with them.
Attraction is a call for personal expansion, indicating a desire for something we currently lack.
Recognizing the source of attraction is essential for making conscious choices in relationships.
Attraction without understanding can lead to desperate decisions, similar to eating a poisoned apple.
Attraction is not love; it is unilateral and self-centered, focusing on personal desires.
Love involves taking someone else's best interests into account, unlike attraction.
Appreciation and attraction can make the choice of love feel like a compulsion rather than a conscious decision.
Examples are provided to illustrate how attraction can be misunderstood and lead to poor relationship choices.
The meaning we assign to attraction often leads to trouble, as it can be far different from reality.
Overlays in attraction occur when we project our desires onto others, not seeing them as they truly are.
Attraction can be a call from the universe towards our own unification and healing of internal splits.
The law of mirroring shows that people in our lives reflect aspects of ourselves, including those we disown.
Attraction can indicate suppressed parts of ourselves that need reintegration for personal wholeness.
Physical attraction can be driven by biological wants that may not align with emotional or mental desires.
The body's desires can create strong overlays, leading to attraction despite potential incompatibilities.
Society and upbringing often condition us to suppress our desires, making attraction a powerful force for following our feelings.
Attraction is not inherently bad, but understanding its source allows for conscious decision-making in relationships.
Incompatibility in relationships can arise from non-harmonious differences, leading to shame and a lack of love.
Attraction does not guarantee compatibility; it must be evaluated within the context of a potential relationship.
Conscious awareness of our desires and attractions can lead to healthier, more harmonious relationships.
Transcripts
Attraction is arguably
one of the greatest elements of unconscious human behavior.
This goes for even the most conscious human beings.
Attraction exists as a kind of two-sided coin.
On one side you have feeling states of the highest blissful excitement,
and on the opposite side,
the lowest desperate suffering.
For this reason it's important to get sober
and really understand and accept the reality of attraction.
The Reality of Attraction
The first thing to understand
is that people mistake appreciation,
attraction and love
as the same thing.
They aren't.
All three can exist in a relationship,
but they are three distinctly different states.
To appreciate something
is to recognize the value and worth of something.
It is to positively recognize its attributes.
To comprehend attraction
in a relationship,
you have to zoom out with the aperture of your own perspective.
When you do this,
you will see something interesting;
Attraction is a pull.
It's that simple.
It's a pull in the same way that desire is a pull.
This pull occurs on a kind of sliding scale.
From preference, to wanting
to needing, to craving.
Attraction is always an indication
that there is something you are wanting or needing.
And it may be something you are not consciously aware of.
And usually the more attracted we are to something,
the further away we feel that we are
from that thing we want.
And therefore the more desperate we are for it.
Attraction may be an indication
that something about the other person
is what you are wanting in a partner.
However, we have to accept
that's so often
when we're attracted to somebody,
it's not about the other person at all.
Instead it's something that we're wanting,
that we feel that we can achieve
through association with this person,
through alignment with them.
And we feel like we can secure that experience
or that thing that we're needing and wanting
by committing to a relationship.
Whether it's boyfriend/girlfriend,
romance or even friendship.
Attraction without exception,
is always a call for personal expansion.
Because it is an indication
that there's a personal wanting that exists.
A movement in the direction of something
that one currently does not have or is not experiencing
that one wants to have our experience.
Recognizing what that thing is,
what that missing experience is,
what that want is,
what that need is that you think you can get via that person,
is a completely necessary ingredient for conscious choice.
Making this recognition
is what it takes to see
whether or not getting into a relationship with somebody
is actually the best way to meet that need
or to get that thing you're wanting.
Often it's not.
If we aren't conscious of what it is
that we really want and think we can get via this person,
we can become like a person so desperate for food
that we eat a poisoned apple
or so desperate for one thing,
that we lose other things that matter in our life.
Now, here's something that's really important to understand;
Attraction is not love.
Because attraction is unilateral.
Attraction is inherently self-centered,
because it's about a personal desire,
a personal want.
Love is not.
Love is to take something else as a part of yourself.
Doing so means their best interests,
their wants and needs
are part of your own.
Love is in fact a conscious choice.
It's the conscious choice
to take somebody as part of yourself.
Now, the reason that this
is so confusing, right?
is because appreciation
and attraction
make the choice of love
really easy.
In fact, they make it so easy,
that instead of it feeling like a choice,
it feels instead like a compulsion.
Here are some examples:
A female client of mine became attracted to a man.
When she really examined
what she loved about being near him,
it was that he was very wealthy and therefore very powerful.
This made her feel protected,
it elevated her status and with that her self-esteem.
Also when she was with him
she was not under so much pressure to provide for herself.
What she was wanting was the relief from financial pressure,
protection and safety
and also status and the esteem that comes with it.
There's nothing wrong with these desires,
but only once she saw that this was what she wanted,
could she evaluate whether being in a relationship with this man
was the right conscious decision for her to make,
or whether she should go about getting those things in different ways.
One woman might have made that evaluation
and decided that it was in both her and his best interest
to get into that relationship.
This woman however,
decided the exact opposite.
Because when she imagined him having no money and no power at all,
she wanted nothing to do with him.
One male client of mine
became attracted to a woman.
She was super beautiful,
hyper ambitious
and motional explosive.
The exact opposite of him.
In the beginning,
this relationship felt exciting.
After a while they started to fight.
His lack of ambition began to bother her.
Her ambition began to bother him.
They never had the same priorities because of it.
When they would fight,
he would become withdrawn and she would explode with rage.
When he examined the attraction consciously
he saw that she embodied all of the things
he had disowned within himself.
He saw that she was so much like his own mother.
Then he recognized that a part of him was convinced
that if he could get her to prioritize
different things than her own ambition,
prioritize him,
that it would be healing that wound within him.
It would be the same as his mother
prioritizing him over her ambitions.
He realized that he needed to end the relationship,
because his own wants and needs
and even that unhealed wound,
would be better served by finding a woman
who flat out prioritized him,
instead of her own ambitions.
He also realized that his own expansion
would be better served by re-owning his own ambition
and his own emotions.
In truth, they were completely incompatible,
especially in that they wanted drastically different things.
One male client of mine
became attracted to another man.
Now this man was doting
and he was stable
and he was responsible.
Everything that this person wanted in a partner.
When he examined his attraction to this man,
he realised that he wanted stability in his life.
And he wanted to create that stability
in tandem with a truly committed partner.
Even if he was not in a relationship with this man,
there were things he genuinely appreciated about him.
The things he wanted for his life
were the same as what this man wanted.
He made the conscious choice to love this men.
Because of this he decided
that the best choice would be to consciously commit to this man.
They are now happily married.
The first problem we get into when it comes to attraction
is the meaning that we assign to attraction.
As you can see,
probably I have changed the way that you're looking at attraction
just by what I've already said in this video.
But here's what we do,
whenever we feel attracted to somebody
we assign meaning to that attraction
and that meaning gets us into a hell of a lot of trouble
because we tell ourselves things like this:
"Oh the attraction that I feel towards this person
means this person could be the one."
"Oh the fact that I'm attracted to this person
means that we are meant to be together
physically or emotionally or both.
It means it's a sign from the universe
pointing me to my perfect partner.
It means we must be compatible at our core,
if we aren't it's just a matter of time or healing before we will be."
"Oh, no...
It means I'm not meant to be with my current partner."
The actual meaning of attraction
can be far far different from any of this.
As people have so painfully found out in the past.
But I will tell you that fairytales and Hollywood
don't help with the meaning we assign to attraction.
The second problem that we get into
when it comes to attraction is overlays.
What I mean by this is,
we have an idea for what we want in our life.
And we're super unconscious,
when we become attracted to somebody,
about what specifically it is
that we're wanting or needing in the scenario
that we think that we're going to get through that person.
In other words,
we're unaware of what desire,
being in the presence of that person,
triggers in us.
Because of this,
we take our fantasy for what we want,
even subconsciously,
and we projected over the top of the other person.
So we don't even see them at all.
When we feel attraction to someone
we ignore anything that's telling us
that in reality this person does not match the vision
of what we want for ourselves and for our life.
We do not recognize incompatibility where it exists,
instead, we become like casting directors.
We mistake attraction
to mean that this person is the character
we've been waiting for in our vision of our life,
that we've been trying to create.
Now any sign,
that a person could potentially
be part of that play
that we want our life to look like,
means that we instantly cast them in the role of that thing,
without realising
they may not actually be that character.
You know how a casting director works,
they get a line of people and they say:
"That one fits the role the best."
We kind of do that in our relationships.
Here's the problem,
we become convinced that
that is who they are in reality.
But we're not in love with the actual person.
We're in love with the character we want them to play in our life.
When they act in character,
we approve of them,
when they break from character,
We disapprove of them and try to criticize them back into it.
It's critical for you to understand overlays
when it comes to understanding attraction.
for this reason watch my video titled:
OVERLAY (What Prevents You From Having a Real Relationship)
When we're in an overlay in a relationship,
we're like moths flying towards a flame
thinking that it's moonlight.
The third problem that we get into when it comes to attraction
is that we fail to recognize attraction
as a greater calling from the universe at large
towards our own unification.
This is perhaps
the most important thing to understand about attraction.
Our consciousness is not in a state of unification.
It is in a state of fragmentation.
Our consciousness splits.
It is in fact the primary coping mechanism
for a physical human.
To understand this in depth,
watch my video titled:
Fragmentation (The Worldwide Disease)
What we do is we identify with
and we own,
we become a mirror
of the parts of us that kept us safe
in our environment.
The part that we felt, ensured our well-being.
We do the exact opposite
with any parts of ourselves
which we feel do the opposite.
When we feel like a trait is not going to add to our well-being,
it's going to keep us unsafe,
is vulnerable,
we suppress reject deny and disown it.
This creates splits inside us.
It polarizes us internally.
Polarity implies attraction.
Just like a magnet.
When oneness is the underlying truth of the universe,
then polarity too,
will forever be finding a way to become one.
Our being wants Integrity.
It wants wholeness.
That's what healing ultimately is.
Therefore there will always be an internal wanting
whether you're conscious of it or not, for unification.
And this means that our attraction
is going to be towards what?
Those aspects of ourselves
that we suppress reject deny and disown.
This lovely time-space reality
which we live in,
is based off of the law of mirroring,
which many people call:
The law of attraction.
What this ultimately means is that anything that is inside us,
is going to be projected externally.
Almost like we stepped in front of a mirror.
That means that
people are going to show up in our life
that are a match to all aspects of us.
This includes people who are a perfect reflection
of that which we deny, disown, reject and push away from ourselves.
What will happen here is that we will initially feel
attracted to them,
when they show up in that external mirror.
Because that's where that polarity exists, like a magnet.
The closer we get to them, however,
the more this is going to flip,
because the closer we get to them,
the more we're going to have access
to those feelings
that belong to that aspect of us
that we suppressed, rejected, denied and disowned.
It's going to bring up the original wounding
that caused the fragmentation to begin with.
Now eventually,
instead of feeling in love with this person,
we're going to reject them,
deny them and disown them
the same way we did that part of ourselves that they are reflecting.
This is by the way,
the main reason why our attraction
so quickly can turn to pain.
Attraction is so often an indication
that you have suppressed, denied, rejected and disowned
a part of yourself long ago
and are receiving a calling
to reintegrate that part of yourself.
Doing so is in fact, the only way
to be sure whether someone is actually compatible to you.
It is also a powerful way
to eliminate the crazed craving you might have
for that person who you know
does not contribute to your well-being
even though you're so attracted to them.
Now this is the universe's
loving way of causing us
to reintegrate but in an external way.
It's almost like,
if we're able to love that thing,
which is a reflection of what we rejected, denied and disowned,
it's an externalized way
of loving that part of ourselves.
So you can understand this, I'm gonna do an example;
Let's imagine that at 4 years old
a little girl's daddy leaves.
When she leaves the family,
obviously this puts mom in a position where she has to get a full-time job.
So now almost overnight,
this little girl has lost her emotional support
and she has to be alone,
almost all the time.
She has to fend for herself.
There's nobody there to work through her emotions with her.
Now, there's still this very vulnerable side of her.
It's gonna be represented by this tile,
see the pattern?
Now this part of her is vulnerable.
This part of her needs people.
This part of her really wants mommy and daddy.
This part of her needs guidance.
This part of her is dependent.
This is not going to get her anywhere in this situation. Is it?
Because nobody is gonna care take this part
In fact, it's gonna get her in more trouble.
So she's going to do something.
She's gonna split between this part of her
and a part of her on the other side,
that is independent.
This is the part of her that can climb on top of the counters
and get her own food.
This part is fiercely independent,
doesn't need people,
in fact, pushes them away.
Because this one knows
that getting close to people leaves you feeling like this.
Now when people describe her
as she grows up,
they're gonna describe this one,
because this is what she's identified with.
This is the aspect that shines through her as her personality.
People will describe this woman as a fiercely independent woman,
who is kind of edgy and really doesn't need anyone.
Is it the full truth of her?
No.
But this is what she has suppressed,
denied, rejected and disowned.
because of that,
this is where the polarity exists.
So where do you think her attraction is going to be?
You got it right.
So what's gonna happen is this:
In this law of attraction based universe,
There's gonna be a person,
let's call it a man,
who is in this pattern.
He is a perfect reflection
of this one,
in the external world.
Now when she initially meets this person,
she's gonna feel the attraction.
At first.
Then, as time goes on,
she gets frustrated by his neediness,
frustrated by what a childlike person he is.
Frustrated by his dependence,
frustrated by how clingy he is,
what she's really reacting to,
it's more like this,
What she's really reacting to,
is that part of herself.
And she is gonna treat him
the same way she treated this part of herself.
She's gonna eventually
reject, deny and disown it.
She's gonna push it away
just like she pushed this part of herself away to begin with.
Now the other alternative here,
which is what the universe is trying to force,
is that she can,
in seeing this reflection,
when she comes to love that part of him
and love those aspects of him,
she's drawing that part of herself closer
and creating an integration within herself.
This can be done consciously as well.
Which is what I'm trying to teach people relative to their attractions.
It's when you feel that attraction,
to the external,
you recognize it as a part of yourself
and therefore step closer
and reintegrate that part of yourself.
Now a lot of times
this actually makes the attraction go away.
The fourth problem we get into when it comes to attraction
is that the body also has wants.
And a lot of those wants,
to be quite honest with you,
don't perfectly align with what you mentally and emotionally want.
This is where biology comes into play
and it comes into play strongly.
These wants from the body
create physical attraction.
The science of attraction and the biology of reproduction
fall into this category.
If the body wants to breed and wants strong offspring.
It will respond to pheromones, for example,
regardless of whether the person with those pheromones
is compatible to you in other ways.
I will never forget a conversation I heard
between two women.
One of these women was doubting
whether the relationship she was in was really right for her,
because this man had proposed.
And she was like:
"Well, I don't know if I should really marry him
because like, let's just be honest,
it's not the best sex I've ever had."
This other woman looked her and said:
"You don't want the best sex you've ever had guy."
"The best sex you've ever had guy is in jail."
Now I had to laugh,
because there's a teaspoon of truth in what she said.
Which is that,
just because you're physically attracted to somebody
doesn't necessarily mean they are the right partner for you.
In fact physical attraction
can be the thing that gives rise to the very strongest overlay.
People go into a kind of blindness
when it comes to physically attractive people.
They allow for behavior
and all kinds of traits
that they would never allow
in somebody who is less attractive.
If you think you fall into this type of a dynamic,
I want you to play a game;
I want you to take that person
who you think is so physically attractive,
that you can't handle it
and imagine them ugly as hell,
the most unattractive you can possibly imagine,
now watch the way that they behave,
now watch the things they do.
If this is a charismatic attractive person,
put them on mute as well.
So you can no longer hear them either
and you're just observing their behaviors
as if watching a silent movie.
Now, what do you think of this person?
Do you have the same level of appreciation
for their behaviors,
for the things that they're doing?
Pay attention to the way you have felt
about everything I've said in this video.
Problem number five,
when it comes to attraction is,
we love it.
Let's just all admit it,
we love the fairy tale.
We love the Hollywood story.
We fight for the butterflies.
Now aside from the fact
that the physical components
or chemical cocktail that's going on within you
in response to attraction feels awesome physically,
the main reason that we fight for attraction,
for those butterflies in the stomach feelings,
is because we all know at a subconscious level,
that attraction implies desire
and wanting.
If anyone tells you to question your attraction
or to go for a relationship
that's based off of a conscious choice
instead of fierce attraction,
all we hear is:
"Don't go for what you want."
This creates a feeling of drudgery.
The reason for this is that our parents raised us this way.
They raised us to do what we have to do,
and not what we want to do.
They raised us to oppose our own best interests and desires
for what they thought was best for us.
And we became miserable as a result and uninspired.
We could consider the process of socialization
to varying degrees,
to be a killing off of the internal guidance system.
And attraction is one of the only things
strong enough to survive this killing off of the guidance system process.
It is one of the only things
strong enough to make us go towards what we want
regardless of whether or not
it makes any rational sense.
It is one of the only things strong enough
to force us to follow our feelings towards what we want
and really feel alive and excited for our future.
And here's the thing;
Unconsciously doing that,
following the way we feel
regardless of any awareness around it,
is still better,
I mean drastically better,
then doing the opposite.
It is drastically better than
denying your own desires.
And you're on pull towards the life that's right for you.
That being said,
it's going to cause your expansion.
Everything does.
Blindly following your attractions
will cause expansion in every way.
Here's the thing though,
so will whacking a tree at 70 miles an hour.
The universe has no interest
in you denying your needs and desires.
What it does want
is for those needs and desires to become conscious.
And believe me,
if you weren't conscious of what those needs and desires were
it is a guarantee
that you would be meeting those needs and desires
in drastically different ways.
And often not in the way of being in a relationship
with a specific person
who triggers that want and need within you.
When it comes to this point five,
the number five reason why
we have such an issue when it comes to attraction,
it is critical for you to understand
that the universe's message to you
is not to deny your desires and needs.
It's simply become aware of them
so you can meet them in much more conscious ways
than simply flying into a relationship with somebody
who would be the same as whacking a tree at 70 miles an hour.
The sixth problem that we get into when it comes to attraction
is that we assume the second that we feel it,
that it's an indication that we are compatible to someone.
The truth couldn't be any farther from this if we tried.
Now this dynamic
is especially true in one situation.
It's when our attraction comes from the desire
for someone to be like us,
so we can feel belonging and not feel lonely anymore.
This creates a cut from the same stone
or the only two of the same species feeling.
But attraction and no way implies compatibility.
In many cases attraction can imply the exact opposite.
For a relationship to genuinely be a good relationship,
it has to feel good to both people.
It has to add to the well-being of both people involved.
We have been conditioned to believe
that if we are a genuinely good person,
we should be able to have a feel-good relationship
with anyone and everyone regardless of what role
they're playing in our lives.
But this is completely false.
Incompatibility is the condition of two things
being so different in nature,
and so uncomplimentary
in that difference,
that they're incapable of coexisting harmoniously.
But it is tempting to assume
that incompatibility is simply about having differences.
It's not.
what incompatibility is really about
is putting people with these non harmonious differences
in roles or positions with each other'
that require there to be either no difference,
or that require a difference that is non harmonious in nature,
to be harmonious.
When incompatibility is present in a relationship,
it is only a matter of time
before either one or both people in the relationship
will feel shame for the way they are
and for what they want
and also feel totally unloved.
To understand this concept in depth,
watch my video titled:
Incompatibility (A Harsh Reality in Relationships)
A lot of people feel uncomfortable
about attraction.
Now here's the thing,
attraction is not going to go away.
Attraction is going to be a part of your life.
It's going to be a part of your life
regardless of whether or not it's convenient,
regardless of whether or not somebody is actually good for you,
regardless of whether or not you're in a relationship already.
It is a fact of life,
because fragmentation is a fact of life.
It's a fact of life because desire is a fact of life.
It is critical to know
where that attraction is coming from and why.
When you understand this,
you can decide what to do with it consciously.
If what you are wanting is overall well-being,
overall harmony,
overall happiness in a relationship,
then the choice of who to partner with
has got to be a multi-faceted
and a conscious choice.
Not a compulsive one.
The way you will experience
the relationship with that other person within your body,
is that it will be an exhale,
a relief and relaxation in your body.
It will feel like coming home,
as opposed to an inhale,
attention and an excited craving.
And the more conscious you are of what you really want,
the easier this will be.
The further that you get on this path of awakening,
what you will see happening
is that you will begin to develop an appreciation
for all things in existence.
You will be able to recognize the positive in anything.
Also, what will happen,
is that when you feel an attraction,
that will be almost like
an alarm bell going off, that is indicating
a desire you have
or a fragmentation present within you.
You will use it as a call for integration
and a call to make conscious choices
to line up with what it is that you were wanting.
On top of that,
it will feel like you are making
the conscious choice to love.
And you will be selecting
people for roles in your life,
according to priorities
and genuine compatibility.
Have a good week.
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte www.tanyaduarte.com
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