5 Ways To Be Less SHY & More CONFIDENT!

Summary

Vin Jiang, a communication skills expert and entrepreneur magician, shares his journey from crippling shyness to confident public speaking. Despite his initial fear, he overcame social anxiety and transformed his communication abilities. Jiang offers five practical tips to battle shyness, including improving posture, using open body language, maintaining good eye contact, adjusting vocal qualities, adopting a curious mindset, elaborating on replies, and sharing personal stories. He emphasizes the importance of practice and self-perception in building confidence, illustrating his points with personal anecdotes and student transformations.

Takeaways

• 🎤 Vin Jiang is an entrepreneur magician and communication skills expert who also teaches about parenting.
• 🔥 He shares a personal anecdote about accidentally setting his house on fire with his son, highlighting the challenges of parenting.
• 😳 Vin admits he's not an expert in parenting but specializes in communication skills and public speaking.
• 🤯 Over 50% of Vin's students suffer from crippling shyness, which hinders their social and professional life.
• 🦋 Vin himself used to be shy and socially anxious, and he shares his journey of overcoming it over the past 10 years.
• 🎥 He shows a video from seven years ago to demonstrate his transformation in communication skills.
• 🗣️ Vin emphasizes that shyness often stems from being too self-centric and focusing too much on oneself.
• 🌟 He explains that there's a stage between shy and confident, which is 'not sounding or looking shy'.
• 🎙️ Vin provides five tips to help overcome shyness, including improving posture, using open body language, and making strong vocal statements.
• 🤔 Adopting a curious mindset towards others can help reduce self-focus and shyness.
• 📚 He suggests elaborating on replies and having personal stories ready to share as ways to build rapport and confidence.
• 🌈 Vin ends with the message that practicing new behaviors is key to moving from shyness to confidence.

Q & A

Who is Vin Jiang?

Vin Jiang is an entrepreneur, magician, and communication skills expert.

What is one of the scariest things Vin Jiang mentions?

Vin Jiang mentions that parenting is one of the scariest things in the world.

What was the embarrassing mistake Vin made at a networking function?

Vin mistakenly introduced himself as a professional musician instead of a magician and had to pretend to be a musician for the rest of the evening.

What common reason for shyness does Vin identify among his students?

Vin identifies that many of his students feel they are not interesting or funny enough, and worry about forgetting what to say, which makes them shy.

What is the step between being shy and being confident according to Vin?

The step between being shy and being confident is not looking or sounding shy, even if you don't feel confident yet.

What visual techniques does Vin suggest to appear more confident?

Vin suggests improving posture, using open body language, and giving good eye contact to appear more confident.

What vocal techniques does Vin recommend to sound more confident?

Vin recommends using stronger levels of volume, ending sentences on a lower pitch, and pausing more to sound more confident.

How does Vin suggest handling shyness by focusing outwardly?

Vin suggests adopting a curious mindset and asking follow-up questions about the other person to take the focus away from yourself and reduce shyness.

What should you do when someone asks you about your weekend, according to Vin?

Vin advises elaborating on your replies and actually telling the person what you did over the weekend, rather than giving a short response.

What is Vin's final piece of advice for becoming less shy and more confident?

Vin advises documenting stories and sharing them, as sharing stories is a fast way to build rapport and self-confidence.

Outlines

00:00

🎭 Overcoming Shyness Through Communication Skills

Vin Jiang introduces himself as an entrepreneur magician and communication skills expert. Despite his engaging career, he admits to a fear of parenting and shares a humorous anecdote about an incident with his son involving lanterns. Vin reveals that over 50% of his students struggle with crippling shyness, which hinders their social and professional lives. He relates to their struggles, having been shy and socially anxious himself. Vin shares a cringe-worthy video from his past to illustrate his transformation over the last decade, emphasizing the journey from shy to confident involves more than just a single step.

05:00

🎤 From Shy to Stage Presence: The Journey of Confidence

Vin discusses the intermediate step between shyness and confidence, which he describes as not sounding or looking shy. He shares a personal experience of speaking on stage, where despite feeling nervous, he appeared confident to the audience. This perception influenced his self-confidence. Vin explains that self-confidence is partly shaped by how others perceive us. He then offers five tips to help viewers become less shy: improving posture, using open body language, maintaining good eye contact, vocal techniques like strong volume, lower pitch at the end of sentences, and pausing more often. These tips are aimed at enhancing both visual and auditory confidence.

10:02

🤔 Cultivating Curiosity and Elaboration to Combat Shyness

Continuing with his tips for overcoming shyness, Vin suggests adopting a curious mindset to focus on others during conversations, which can help alleviate self-focus and shyness. He advises asking follow-up questions to show genuine interest. Vin also recommends elaborating on one's own replies when asked questions, to provide more depth and engage in meaningful exchanges. Lastly, he encourages the habit of documenting personal stories to share, as this can build rapport and self-confidence. Vin promotes his Stage Academy course for further insights on storytelling and communication skills.

👟 Life-Changing Stories and the Power of Confidence

Vin concludes the video by emphasizing the importance of practicing new behaviors to move from shyness to confidence. He shares a transformational story of a student who applied the lessons learned and saw a significant boost in confidence. Vin also tells a personal story about finding meaning in life and making an impact, humorously tied to a pair of shoes that 'saved his life.' He reminds viewers that change takes time and encourages them not to be discouraged, but to embrace the journey towards becoming a more confident version of themselves. Vin invites questions and comments to shape future content and thanks viewers for watching.

Keywords

💡Entrepreneur Magician

An entrepreneur magician is a person who combines the skills of a magician with the business acumen of an entrepreneur. In the video, Vin Jiang identifies himself as an entrepreneur magician, indicating that he not only performs magic but also applies entrepreneurial strategies to his career.

💡Communication Skills

Communication skills refer to the ability to effectively convey information, ideas, and emotions to others. In the script, Vin emphasizes his expertise in teaching communication skills, which is a central theme of the video as he shares his knowledge to help others overcome shyness and improve their public speaking abilities.

💡Parenting

Parenting is the process of raising and guiding children. Vin mentions parenting as one of the scariest things in the world, humorously suggesting that even though he teaches it, he does not claim to be an expert, which adds a personal and relatable touch to the video's narrative.

💡Shyness

Shyness is a feeling of nervousness or discomfort when interacting with other people. The video discusses how more than 50% of Vin's students suffer from crippling levels of shyness, which is a significant issue the video aims to address by providing strategies to overcome it.

💡Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is an intense apprehension of social situations that may result in embarrassment or humiliation. Vin discloses his past struggle with social anxiety to establish a connection with viewers who might be experiencing similar issues, and to illustrate the transformative power of communication skills.

💡Transformation

Transformation in the context of the video refers to the personal growth and change Vin underwent from being shy to becoming a confident communicator. He shares a video clip of his past self to demonstrate the significant transformation he has achieved over the years.

💡Confidence

Confidence is a feeling of self-assurance that allows individuals to express themselves effectively. The video's main goal is to help viewers become more confident by addressing shyness, with Vin sharing his journey and tips on how to appear and feel more confident.

💡Perception

Perception is the way in which others view or interpret one's actions or characteristics. Vin discusses how the way others perceive one's confidence can influence one's self-perception, using an anecdote where an audience member's comment on his confidence helped him feel more self-assured.

💡Practice

Practice refers to the act of performing an activity repeatedly to improve or master it. Vin emphasizes the importance of practicing new behaviors to overcome shyness, drawing a parallel to how he practiced being shy and now practices being confident.

💡Body Language

Body language consists of gestures, postures, and movements that express one's thoughts and feelings. Vin provides tips on using open body language and maintaining good eye contact to project confidence, which are visual cues that can influence how others perceive an individual.

💡Vocal Techniques

Vocal techniques include the use of volume, pitch, and pauses to convey confidence and authority. The script mentions using stronger volume, ending sentences on a lower pitch, and incorporating pauses as ways to sound more confident, which are auditory cues that can impact how one is perceived.

💡Curiosity

Curiosity is the desire to learn or know more about something or someone. Vin suggests adopting a curious mindset when interacting with others to shift the focus away from oneself, which can help reduce shyness and foster more engaging conversations.

💡Elaboration

Elaboration is the act of providing detailed information or expanding on a topic. In the context of the video, elaborating on one's replies during conversations can demonstrate confidence and encourage deeper engagement with others, as opposed to providing short, closed responses.

💡Storytelling

Storytelling is the art of telling stories to engage an audience or convey experiences. Vin mentions having stories ready to share as a way to build rapport and self-confidence, highlighting the importance of documenting personal experiences to create shareable stories.

Highlights

Vin Jiang, an entrepreneur magician and communication skills expert, shares his journey from shyness to confidence.

More than 50% of Vin's students suffer from crippling shyness, affecting their work and social life.

Vin's personal transformation from social anxiety to effective communication skills over a decade.

Vin's humorous recount of a networking event where he introduced himself as a musician due to shyness.

The importance of not being self-centric to overcome shyness and the common misconceptions students have about shyness.

The intermediate step between shyness and confidence is not sounding or looking shy.

Vin's experience of perceived confidence on stage despite feeling nervous internally.

How others' perceptions can influence our self-confidence and the concept of becoming what we practice.

Five practical tips to battle shyness and build confidence, starting with improving posture and body language.

The vocal aspects of sounding confident, including using stronger volume, lower pitch, and more pauses.

Adopting a curious mindset towards others to alleviate self-focus and shyness.

The strategy of elaborating on replies to engage in conversation and appear more confident.

The power of having stories ready to share as a means to build rapport and self-confidence.

Vin's personal story of finding meaning in life and the humorous anecdote of how a pair of shoes 'saved his life'.

Encouragement to practice new behaviors to move from shyness to confidence, emphasizing the importance of time and patience.

Invitation for viewers to engage with comments and questions to shape future content.

Transcripts

[Music]

hi everyone my name is Vin Jiang and I'm

an entrepreneur magician and

communication skills expert I spend the

majority of my time teaching people one

of the scariest things in the world

parenting it's frightening I've never

known such fear in my life no I'm

definitely not an expert and qualified

teaching parenting though it is one of

the scariest things in the world look at

this experience I had with my son

[Music]

we were just trying to have a little bit

of fun with lanterns and we need to lit

the whole house on fire look what I am

qualified at teaching is communication

skills and public speaking and over the

years of running the workshops and

classes whether it be in person or

virtually I've learned something really

interesting about my students more than

50 of my students suffer from shyness

and when I say shyness I mean crippling

levels of shyness it stops them from

speaking up in the workplace it stops

them from making new friends overall it

stops them from getting the most out of

life and you're probably not going to

believe me because of the way you see me

now but I also used to be really shy I

also used to suffer from social anxiety

and I've been on this communication

Journey now for the last 10 years of my

life plus I want to show you a video

from about seven years ago and this was

me trying to speak to the camera to

improve my communication skills and this

was me also after a year of training

check this out

hey everyone

um Welcome to My Garage office slash

um home where I sleep everything uh

I just have to make this video

um I think I said man was been already

I'm not sure but I press record and I

just want to see what comes out but oh

good like I can't handle any more of

that I'm only going to play about 20

seconds of that but you see I hope you

agree that I've completely transformed

you you some would say I went from being

a caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly

actually I don't like that metaphor I

don't want to be a butterfly I'd rather

be a viking

nah who am I kidding I'll never be able

to grow a beard like that but I do

remember being so shy that there was

this one moment and this was about seven

years ago as well when I went to a

networking function to try to build my

business as a young professional

magician and it was one of those

networking functions where you kind of

tell each other what you do and then you

check if I need your services or if you

need my services Etc

and the speaker at the time that was

running the session said to all of us

all right I want one of you to stand up

at a time and state your name and what

you do that was all he asked us to do

you know I was sitting there and my

heart was

oh my God I'm gonna have to stand up in

the room I'm freaking out and I started

freaking out because I was second to

last in that room so I had about 18

people ahead of me so I had 18 people

worth of time to feel anxious to start

to get sick in my stomach and to to

sweat profusely it was such an awful

experience waiting until it was my turn

and then guess what happened when it was

my turn I was so shy and so anxious that

when I got up I said

um my name is I'm a professional

musician

I said musician I didn't say magician I

didn't even correct myself I sat back

down and for the rest of that evening I

basically had to pretend to be a

professional musician you that night

wasn't very fruitful for me I didn't get

any new business out of it and I told a

bunch of people a lie that I was a

musician

but why am I telling you this story I'm

telling you this simply because I

understand what it's like to be shy I

understand what it's like to be socially

anxious I I get it I've been there so

then the question really is what makes

you shine and when I talk about this

with my students and I ask them I say

well what makes you shy they often say

to me I'm not interesting enough no

one's going to want to talk to me I'm

not funny why would anyone want to

engage with me what if I forget what I'm

gonna say halfway through talking

they're going to think I'm stupid these

are actually some things that my

students have actually shared with me

and what do all of them have in common

it's all very me Centric isn't it I'm

not this I'm not that me me me me me

this is the biggest reason why we get

shy it's when we're too self-centric I

know this is a tough one to admit but if

you really think about this this is one

of the core reasons you hold back this

is one of the core reasons why you feel

shy because you're thinking way too much

about yourself when it comes to the

journey of how we can move from being

shy to confident people think we can

just do it in one step but they don't

realize that there's a step in between

shy and confident and the step in

between is that you don't just go from

shy for 20 years of your life to

immediately being confident in another

step in the middle is not sounding shy

and not looking shy let me tell you what

I mean when I say not looking shy and

not sounding shy here's a here's a quick

clip of me when I first started speaking

and if you look at me on stage I may

seem calm to you I may seem confident

but in my head and I'm freaking out I'm

wearing black so that it hides the sweat

stains and I'm wearing a vest because I

used to sweat through my shirts I'm

wearing a black shirt and a black vest

just so I can hide the sweat and I

remember getting off stage at this

particular event and I remember one

person coming up to me immediately and I

just thought to myself oh God they saw

through the facade they're just gonna

they're just gonna tell me that I'm not

fit to be a speaker and this lady walked

up to me and said wow I can't believe

that was one of the first times you were

on stage with him because you seemed so

confident

yeah my head exploded after that

experience I couldn't understand what

was happening because on the inside I

felt again I felt so nervous but she

perceived maybe to be confident

and in a really weird way I started to

feel more confident as people perceived

me to be more confident this was a

really strange situation that was

starting to occur and then I know there

are many things that make up

self-confidence but one of them is how

others perceive you because the way we

see ourselves is made up partly of how

others see us and as we improve the way

others see us we improve the way we see

ourselves the night pretty much went

like this I walked off stage I didn't

feel confident that first lady said wow

you're confident and I was like oh yeah

yep yeah okay thanks and the next person

said wow you seemed like a stage was

your home you were so confident up there

and I went yeah yes yes I did and then

the final person that said it to me wow

you were so confident I went yes damn it

I am

this is a great example of the theory

that we become the things we most

consistently practice

I just practiced being shy my entire

life and that evening for me was me

practicing being more confident and the

moment I practiced being more confident

I felt more confident now over the years

of teaching communication skills I've

learned a few things to help you battle

shyness so I want to share with you five

ways to make you less shy and to help

you become more confident let's start

with number one Craig can you can you

give me can you give me a little bit

more room I know you're editing but just

a little bit more ah thank you the first

thing it's about what you can do

visually to help yourself feel more

confident and help others perceive you

as being more confident the first thing

is to improve your posture

hold better posture the second thing is

use more open body language and the

third thing is give good eye contact

number two things you can do vocally

we've already covered things you can do

visually because you want to look more

confident but now we need to also hold

on sorry now we also need to learn how

to sound more confident not just to look

more confident but sound more confident

so here are three things you can do to

sound more confident the first thing is

you want to use stronger levels of

volume think about as having a scale

from one to ten you don't want to be

using out at least a five or a six let

me give you an example if I drop to a

three right now

this is me just speaking at a level

three

what does that do to my level of

confidence seems like I'm a little less

confident a bit more shy right

so strong levels of volume the next

thing is you want to make sure you end

your sentences on a lower pitch because

if you end your sentences on a higher

pitch notice what happens is that

everything I say sounds a bit like a

question this makes you seem a little

bit less confident whereas if I speak it

with a lower pitch at the end all of a

sudden I sound more confident and things

don't seem like a question do they and

the third thing what you could do with

your voice is you could pause more

posing more radiates confidence number

three ah okay Craig I I get it that you

have superiority when it comes to

editing but but you can you just move it

up a little bit

okay I guess not well look number three

is to adopt a curious mindset get really

curious about the person you're speaking

to remember that one what are the main

reasons why we're shy is because we're

focusing too much inwardly focus on the

other person this will help eliminate

one of the main sources of shyness when

the other person is talking ask more

questions about them ask three follow-up

questions about the thing they're

talking about if they're talking about a

new hobby like they just got into

archery ask them three follow-up

questions you know how did you get into

archery what sparked the passion what's

the hardest thing about archery and who

are your heroes in archery and just like

that you take the focus away from you

and put it on the other person which

helps you become less shy and come

across as being more confident okay

Craig is that really necessary can I

kind of

oh thank you jeez far out mate look with

the next one number four

okay great now now you can't see me at

all well I I'm not playing your games

correct not playing your games I'm not

gonna I'm not gonna try I'm not gonna

play your games they say the best way to

to treat bullies is just to ignore them

number four elaborate on your replies

when someone asks you how your weekend

was don't you say oh it was awesome and

then that's it and then ask how theirs

was of course it's important to be

interested in the other person and to be

curious about the other person but

inevitably the other person is going to

get interested and curious in you too so

elaborate on your replies when people

ask you how was your weekend actually

tell them what you did on the weekend

thank you for bringing me back Craig one

of these days I'm going to learn how to

edit and fire your ass number five and

can I have it on the other side I don't

want it on this side I wanna

much better number five have stories

ready to share sharing stories is one of

the fastest ways to build rapport and

build self-confidence but the only way

you're going to have stories to share is

if you start documenting the things that

happen to you start building the habit

of documenting stories and if you ever

want to learn more about storytelling

the formula for storytelling and how to

document stories do check out the stage

Academy my online course for

communication skills these are the five

tips that I have to be able to help you

become less shy and more confident and

as we end this video I want to show show

you an example of one of my students and

this example of one of my students

you'll see them just apply a few of

these lessons you'll see a before and

after before when they seem a little bit

shy and then when they apply some of

these tips after just experience how

much more confident they seem and come

across

I really have found

that I'm giving back to the world

and I'm so thankful that I took that

step

and now that 75 dollars seems pretty

well spent punchline punchline oh no

yeah good and the punchline was the

shoes what your life oh the shoes

changed my life now that you saved your

life Boom Big Brother floors again that

was great

it was about a year and a half after I

graduated from college I was working my

first job as an engineer I was asking

myself questions like what am I giving

back to the world what is it all about

what is the meaning of life

you know totally normal questions that

one asks oneself after you buy a pair of

Footwear

and yes I am still wearing that same

pair of dirty stinky choco sandals

starting to think that maybe that was a

pretty good deal after all

those shoes saved my life

wasn't that inspiring and as we pot ways

before we end this week's video I just

want to remind you that the reason

you're shy now if you are feeling like

you are shy it's because you practice

being shy and you've practiced being shy

so much that you've become so great at

being shy that now you have to learn and

practice new behaviors you have to

practice being more confident it's going

to take time don't be discouraged and

don't be so attached to who you are

right now in the present that you don't

give the future version of you a chance

thanks for joining me for this week's

video see you in the video next week and

as always if you've got any questions if

you've got any comments you'd like to

make please do leave them in the comment

section below because I want to use your

comments and your questions to shape the

content that I make moving forward into

the future thanks everyone bye for now

foreign

[Music]