#84 - How to Overcome Social Anxiety

Summary

In this reflective episode, the speaker recounts an embarrassing moment of taking selfies in the dark, observed by a stranger. This leads to a broader discussion on the inevitability of looking silly at times in life, especially when trying new things or learning. The speaker encourages embracing this reality, suggesting that it's a natural part of personal growth and not something to fear. With humor and relatability, the episode reminds us to not take ourselves too seriously and to laugh at our own awkwardness, as it's a universal experience that others quickly move past.

Takeaways

• 😅 Embarrassing moments are a part of life and everyone experiences them at some point.
• 🤳 The speaker recounts an embarrassing moment of taking selfies in the dark, which was witnessed by a stranger.
• 👀 Initially feeling embarrassed when realizing someone was watching, the speaker later accepts and laughs at the situation.
• 💭 The idea that everyone has moments where they look silly is a central theme of the episode.
• 🚶‍♂️ The only way to avoid looking silly is by doing nothing, which is also a form of silliness.
• 🌟 Taking action and trying new things often involves the risk of looking silly, but it's a natural part of the process.
• 😄 The speaker uses a humorous language mix-up as an example of a silly moment that was quickly corrected and laughed off.
• 👥 Most people are understanding and forgiving of others' embarrassing moments, often laughing and then moving on.
• 🏠 The speaker encourages the audience to not fear looking silly, as it's a universal human experience.
• 💪 Accepting that you will sometimes look silly can make life easier and allow for personal growth without the fear of embarrassment.
• 😆 Being able to laugh at oneself is a sign of self-acceptance and can reduce the impact of others' opinions on one's self-esteem.

Q & A

What was the speaker doing on the balcony of the Airbnb?

The speaker was having a smoke break and taking selfies with the flash on their camera.

Why did the speaker feel embarrassed?

The speaker felt embarrassed because they noticed someone on the street who seemed to be watching them take selfies.

How did the speaker initially react to the embarrassment?

Initially, the speaker felt self-conscious and questioned how long the person had been watching them.

What was the speaker's attitude towards the embarrassing moment later on?

The speaker later let go of the embarrassment, accepting that it was a silly moment and not a big deal.

What is the main message the speaker wants to convey in the episode?

The main message is that everyone looks silly at some point in their lives, and it's not a big deal; one should not be afraid of looking silly.

Why did the speaker mention learning a foreign language in the context of looking silly?

The speaker used learning a foreign language as an example to illustrate that making mistakes and looking silly is a natural part of the learning process.

What is the speaker's view on people who do not look silly?

The speaker suggests that the only people who do not look silly are those who are not doing anything, implying that inaction is the only way to avoid looking silly.

What example did the speaker give to illustrate the point about looking silly?

The speaker gave the example of mistakenly saying 'pregnant' instead of 'embarrassed' in Spanish, which led to laughter and correction from friends.

What advice does the speaker give for dealing with the fear of looking silly?

The speaker advises to surrender to the fact that everyone looks silly at some point and to laugh at oneself, which makes it easier to not take oneself too seriously.

How does the speaker relate the idea of looking silly to the process of learning?

The speaker relates it by stating that learning and looking cool rarely happen at the same time, implying that it's okay to look silly while learning new things.

What is the title of the episode mentioned by the speaker?

The title of the episode is 'Learning and Looking Cool Rarely Happen at the Same Time'.

Outlines

00:00

📸 Embarrassing Selfie Session

The speaker begins the episode with an apology for any background noise and reflects on an embarrassing moment from the past. This incident occurred in November when they were staying in an Airbnb in Bangkok. They were taking creative selfies on the balcony, which was also part of the bathroom, late at night. After taking several photos with the flash in the dark, they noticed a man on the street who seemed to be watching them. Initially embarrassed by the thought of being observed, they quickly let go of the feeling, realizing that everyone has moments where they look silly. The speaker uses this story to emphasize that it's okay to look silly and that it's a part of life, especially when trying new things or stepping out of one's comfort zone.

05:01

😅 Accepting Silly Moments in Life

Continuing the theme of looking silly, the speaker shares a humorous anecdote about a language mix-up where they mistakenly said 'pregnant' instead of 'embarrassed' in Spanish. They explain that such moments are common and should be taken lightly. The speaker encourages the audience not to fear looking silly, especially when learning a new language or trying new things. They argue that most people will laugh, make a few jokes, and then move on, without holding it against the person. The speaker concludes by advising the audience to accept that they will look silly at times and to laugh at themselves, which can make life easier and more enjoyable. The episode's message is that learning and looking cool rarely happen at the same time, and it's essential to embrace the process of learning, even if it involves looking a bit silly.

Keywords

💡self-portraits

Self-portraits refer to photographs taken by the subject of the image, usually of themselves. In the script, the speaker mentions their interest in photography and their skill in taking self-portraits, particularly when they didn't have models to photograph. This concept is central to the story of the embarrassing moment when the speaker was taking selfies on a balcony, which someone on the street seemed to be watching.

💡embarrassment

Embarrassment is a feeling of self-consciousness, shame, or awkwardness caused by one's actions or circumstances. The script revolves around the theme of embarrassment, particularly the speaker's realization that someone might have seen them taking selfies. The speaker uses this moment to reflect on the universality of feeling embarrassed and the importance of not letting it hold one back.

💡reflection

Reflection involves deep thought or consideration about past experiences or actions. The speaker begins the script by mentioning their reflection on past experiences, which leads to recalling the embarrassing selfie incident. This concept is integral to the video's theme of learning from and accepting moments of silliness.

💡silliness

Silliness is the quality of being funny or absurd, often in a light-hearted or endearing way. The speaker uses the term to describe actions that may seem foolish or out of the ordinary, such as taking selfies in the dark or making a language mistake. The script emphasizes that everyone experiences silliness and that it's a natural part of life and learning.

💡action

Action refers to the process of doing something rather than being passive. In the script, the speaker suggests that taking action, especially when trying new things, can lead to moments of silliness. The message is that it's better to take action and potentially look silly than to do nothing at all.

💡acceptance

Acceptance is the act of embracing or being at peace with a situation or aspect of oneself. The speaker encourages the audience to accept that they will look silly at times and that this acceptance can lead to a more relaxed and enjoyable life. Acceptance is key to the video's message of self-compassion and not taking oneself too seriously.

💡laughter

Laughter is the physical expression of amusement or joy, often in response to something funny or absurd. The script uses laughter as a way to illustrate how people react to silliness, suggesting that a moment of laughter can quickly move on without lasting judgment or negative consequences.

💡learning

Learning is the process of acquiring new knowledge, skills, or understanding. The speaker connects learning with the likelihood of looking silly, as trying new things can result in mistakes or awkward moments. The video's theme includes the idea that learning and looking cool rarely happen at the same time, emphasizing the importance of embracing the learning process despite potential embarrassment.

💡mistakes

Mistakes are errors or incorrect actions. In the context of the script, mistakes are associated with language learning, where the speaker humorously recounts a mix-up between 'embarrassed' and 'pregnant' in Spanish. This example serves to show that mistakes can lead to moments of silliness but are a natural part of learning and personal growth.

💡perspective

Perspective refers to a particular attitude, way of thinking, or viewpoint. The speaker encourages the audience to change their perspective on silliness, suggesting that it's all about how one views their own actions and those of others. The video's message is that adopting a more forgiving and humorous perspective can make life easier and more enjoyable.

💡self-acceptance

Self-acceptance is the recognition and positive regard of oneself, including one's flaws and imperfections. The script emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance in dealing with moments of silliness, stating that being able to laugh at oneself is a sign of a healthy self-acceptance that can alleviate the sting of embarrassment.

Highlights

The speaker starts by apologizing for any background noise during the recording.

They reflect on past experiences and share an embarrassing moment from November last year in Bangkok.

While staying at an Airbnb, they decided to take selfies on the balcony at night using the flash.

After taking several selfies, they noticed someone on the street seemingly watching them.

The speaker initially felt embarrassed but then let go of those feelings.

They share the idea that everyone looks silly at some point in life and it's not a big deal.

The speaker uses a humorous example of mistakenly saying 'pregnant' instead of 'embarrassed' in Spanish.

They emphasize that people tend to laugh and move on from embarrassing moments, rather than dwelling on them.

The speaker encourages the listener to not be afraid of looking silly, especially when learning something new.

Surrendering to the fact that you will look silly at times can make life easier.

Being able to laugh at yourself is a sign of self-acceptance and not taking oneself too seriously.

The speaker argues that learning and looking cool rarely happen at the same time.

They suggest that when you're learning, looking silly is a natural part of the process.

The episode concludes with the message that everyone looks silly at some point and it's okay.

The speaker encourages the listener to embrace the fact that they will look silly and to not let it hold them back.

Transcripts

let me start this episode by offering my

apologies for any noise that you hear

from the street sitting by my window

having a smoke break real quick and I

was just thinking to myself reflecting

on the past past experiences things I've

learned things I've done things I've

said things I've seen places I've

been reflecting on the past and uh I

don't know why or how but this

embarrassing moment popped into my head

this was I guess November last year I

had just come back to Bangkok from

Indonesia and I was staying in this

Airbnb until I found an apartment anyway

at the Airbnb there was this little

balcony area where you could go outside

smoke it was also part of the bathroom

so you could wash your hands anyway I

was out there having a smoke break as

well and it was night time it was dark

outside and so I'm sitting there smoking

just chilling and I don't know why or

where the idea came from but I had the

idea to start taking some selfies like I

used to really be into photography and

when I didn't have any models to

photograph I just got really good at

photographing myself like doing

self-portraits and many different

creative ways I was always trying to

find a new way to do it right and so

that's I guess where I got the idea from

so I turned on the flash on my camera

and started trying to take some creative

selfies right I was like oh it's going

to be dope it's going to be different

it's going to look edgy it's going to be

some cool [ __ ] so I'm snapping flick

after flick after flick and after I

don't know like 45 seconds of that or a

minute of that just snapping picture

after picture in the dark mind you

flashing again and again I look over to

my right and I would say I don't know

like 50 M 60 M from me there was this

dude in the street who seemed to be

looking at me like watching me do what I

was doing and I don't know if he was or

not he was too far for me to actually

see his eyes but it seemed like he was

looking in my direction watching me

[ __ ] snap all these selfies

so of course in that moment you know I

see him and I'm like you know that

moment when like you realize somebody

was watching you do something that's

kind of silly you know sitting there

like snapping photos of yourself

especially selfies even if it's not

actually silly it just look silly you

know what I mean you're just standing

there snapping pck after pick after pick

it's it's just [ __ ] silly dog so I

saw him and I thought he was looking at

me and of course in that moment I feel a

bit embarrassed it's like oh damn long

has he been standing there watching me

[ __ ] uh do this goddamn photo shoot

with myself did he see all of that right

but you know at this point in my life

like even embarrassing moments like that

you might feel embarrassed initially but

then kind of just let it go it's like it

is what it is if he was watching me do

what I was doing it's like ain't nothing

I can do about that you know what I'm

saying so it just is what it is and I

let it go anyway fast forward to now and

for whatever reason that moment popped

into my head and I just couldn't help

but laugh at myself cuz it's one of

those things that's really not a big

deal like if you don't have anybody to

take a picture of you and you want a

picture of yourself you take a picture

of yourself it's not a big deal but it

just looks and feels silly especially

when you know somebody's watching you do

it right and as I was laughing at myself

thinking about the moment I just ended

up saying to myself like so what bro

everybody looks silly at some point

everybody looks silly at some point and

this is the point of the episode this is

what I wanted to share with you is the

fact not the idea the fact that all of

us look [ __ ] silly at one point or

another in life and it's no big deal bro

the only people that don't look silly

are the people who aren't doing

[ __ ] and I don't mean that as a shot to

people who aren't doing [ __ ] if you like

to sit around doing nothing if you like

to chill that's to you more power to you

bro but that's not the point I'm just

saying the only way you can avoid

looking silly at some point is by

sitting around and doing absolutely

nothing because just by taking action

you're running the risk of looking silly

especially if you're doing something

that you don't normally do something

that you've never done before something

that's not familiar to you you're going

to look silly bro at some

point and it's no big

deal it's really not a big deal and to

prove this to you I'm going to give you

the the following example I know a lot

of y'all listening to this speak Spanish

it's your mother tongue

mies you are going to know exactly what

I'm talking about so here's an example

for you if I say if we're talking in

Spanish and I show you in like a a funny

video of me dancing as a kid I'm dancing

to like Michael Jackson or something

trying to do the Thriller dance I'm

showing you a video on my

phone and it's you me and let's say

three other friends we're all speaking

Spanish right right you guys watch this

video you're laughing at me my cheeks

turn red I start to blush it's

embarrassing and I say ah

it's some of y'all might be laughing

right now and that's because you know

what I'm trying to say and what I

actually said when I say imas you know

I'm trying to say embarrassed but that's

a false friend between English and

Spanish instead of saying I'm

embarrassed I actually said I'm

pregnant which is neither true nor

possible right so it's silly it's not

that big of a deal but it's silly it

makes you laugh and then you teach me no

no no no you mean gono you mean

embarrassed ashamed Noto you're not

pregnant right just a silly moment where

you correct me we all laugh about it and

then we just move the [ __ ] on with our

lives right you're probably not going to

sit there for the next hour talking

about how [ __ ] stupid I am making fun

me and [ __ ] no it's just a silly moment

bro it's not a big deal would you guys

look at me differently if you heard me

say okay no you wouldn't you probably

laugh and be like no no no no no this is

the correct word this is the word you're

looking for and then we would just move

on with our

lives

right so I want you to remember that the

next time you're afraid of looking silly

remember a simple example just like that

and how if you were in the position of

the person witnessing an embarrassing

moment you probably wouldn't make a big

deal about

it you might laugh for a little bit and

then just let it go and what I'm trying

to get you to consider is that most

people are just like you in that sense

if you say or do some silly [ __ ] most

people might laugh a little bit make a

couple jokes give you a hard time and

then they just move on with their lives

it's not that big of a deal especially

when we're talking about speaking a

foreign language bro I mean this is

universal this can apply to anything in

life but definitely a foreign language

is not a big

deal you're going to look silly at some

point we all look silly at some point

and like I said the only way you can

avoid that is by sitting at home doing

nothing going nowhere and talking to no

one which depending on who you ask is

also silly it's all about

perspective so just get that through

your head bro you're going to look silly

at some point and if you can just

surrender to that

fact life will be so much easier for you

if you can just surrender to the fact

that you will look silly and in the

moments when you do look silly instead

of feeling anxious or looking for a way

to get out of it or trying to talk your

way out of it or explain yourself just

surrender to the fact that right now

it's your turn to look

silly yesterday it was somebody else's

turn tomorrow it's going to be somebody

else's turn but right now it's your turn

you look silly

bro you look silly so if you can just

surrender to that fact you might even be

able to laugh at yourself and that is

the best position to be

in when you've accepted yourself at such

a level or to such an extent that you

can just laugh at yourself then who

gives a [ __ ] who else is laughing at you

cuz you're laughing at

yourself you don't really care Who's

laughing at you at that point because

you are capable of laughing at yourself

you're not taking yourself too seriously

you've accepted that you're not perfect

you've accepted that you're going to

[ __ ] up sometimes you're going to look

silly people are going to disagree with

you some people won't like you other

people will love you it's just what it

is bro once you can accept that

everything becomes easier

bro cuz learning and looking cool rarely

happen at the same time episode number

60 that's what it's all about learning

and looking cool rarely happen at the

same time so while you're learning while

you're doing new things you're probably

going to look silly bro and it's not

that big of a deal and if you don't

believe me refer back to the example I

gave you a couple minutes ago just think

about any time that somebody trying to

learn your language said some silly [ __ ]

was it the end of the world no did you

try to crucify them no did you try to

make them feel like [ __ ] no you just

laughed about it and then moved on with

your life which is what most people are

going to do the next time you say or do

some silly

[ __ ] so that's what I wanted to put on

your brain today my friend think about

it consider it write it about it do

whatever you got to do but just remember

man we all look silly at some point and

it's no big deal