The Power of Positivity | Guy Katz | TEDxZurich
Summary
TLDRThe speaker, a descendant of Holocaust survivors, shares powerful life lessons on positivity and communication. Drawing from personal history and scientific research, the talk emphasizes the impact of a positive attitude, the importance of first impressions, the multi-sensory approach to human interaction, and the significance of remembering details in fostering meaningful relationships. The speaker advocates for assertive communication, highlighting the success of empathetic and driven individuals who excel in positivity.
Takeaways
- 🌟 The power of positivity and a positive attitude can significantly influence one's success and survival, as exemplified by the speaker's grandfathers who survived the Holocaust.
- 💪 Happiness and positivity often precede success, with studies showing that happy employees are more productive and creative.
- 👀 First impressions are crucial and can be formed in just a tenth of a second, impacting how we interact with others.
- 👃 The multi-sensory approach, utilizing all human senses, can enhance positivity and memory, with smell being particularly powerful in triggering emotions and memories.
- 🏠 The environment and small details, such as the scent of fresh bread in an apartment, can greatly influence people's perceptions and decisions.
- 📈 Positive communication and remembering details can create memorable experiences that foster long-term relationships.
- 🤝 Assertive communication, which is respectful and clear, is the most effective for building and maintaining positive relationships.
- 🚫 Avoiding negative language and finding positive alternatives to 'no' can make communication more pleasant and productive.
- 🤔 Listening is a key component of successful communication, with many top salespeople spending more time listening than speaking.
- 🌱 Positivity is not just an innate trait but can be cultivated and is supported by scientific evidence.
- 🌈 Drive, empathy, and positivity are interconnected and are essential qualities of great communicators and salespeople.
Q & A
What year is the script set in, and what significant event is it referencing?
-The script is set in the year 1941, referencing the Holocaust and the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp.
What is the speaker's connection to the Holocaust?
-The speaker has a personal connection to the Holocaust as all four of their grandparents were Holocaust survivors, with two surviving Auschwitz.
What advice did the speaker's grandfather Arya give for surviving difficult situations?
-Arya advised always smiling and saying 'yes' to any task given by the Nazis, no matter the conditions, as a way to survive.
What is the significance of the name 'Arya' in the context of the script?
-Arya means 'Lion' in Hebrew, symbolizing strength and resilience, which is reflective of how the speaker's grandfather survived Auschwitz.
How did the speaker's grandfather's positive attitude impact his life after the Holocaust?
-His positive attitude made him one of the most driven and empathetic people the speaker has ever met, and it made him instantly likable to others.
What is the connection between positivity and success according to the script?
-The script suggests that positivity and happiness precede success, with happy employees showing higher productivity, sales, and creativity.
What is the first aspect of positivity discussed in the script?
-The first aspect discussed is the power of first impressions, which can form in as little as a tenth of a second.
How does the multi-sensory approach enhance positivity?
-The multi-sensory approach enhances positivity by engaging more senses, which can trigger stronger memories and emotional responses.
What role does the sense of smell play in memory and positivity?
-The sense of smell is the most potent trigger of memory, with studies showing that we remember things we smell much better than things we see.
How can the power of all human senses be utilized in a sales context?
-In a sales context, engaging multiple senses, such as the smell of fresh bread in an apartment, can make potential buyers feel more at home and increase the likelihood of a sale.
What is the importance of remembering details in building positive relationships?
-Remembering details shows attentiveness and care, creating memorable and positive experiences that can make people fall in love with a person or a brand.
What are the three types of negative communication mentioned in the script?
-The three types of negative communication mentioned are passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive communication.
What is the only healthy and positive form of communication discussed in the script?
-The only healthy and positive form of communication discussed is assertive communication.
How can the way we use our bodies in communication impact our relationships?
-Using our bodies to signal equality and partnership, such as sitting next to someone or using round tables, can build more respectful and long-term relationships.
What is the importance of listening in effective communication?
-Listening is crucial in effective communication as it shows respect and attentiveness, allowing for better understanding and connection with others.
How can saying 'no' be reframed in a positive way in communication?
-Saying 'no' can be reframed by focusing on what is possible or what could be done, offering alternatives instead of outright refusal.
What are the two key traits of a good salesperson according to the Harvard Business Review article mentioned in the script?
-The two key traits of a good salesperson are drive and empathy.
How does the speaker summarize the essence of positivity in the script?
-The speaker summarizes positivity as a science that is not magical, and as a fine thread that connects drive and empathy, making people fun to be around.
Outlines
🌟 The Power of Positivity and Survival
The speaker begins by setting the historical context of 1941 and the Holocaust, sharing a personal connection through their grandparents who survived the Auschwitz concentration camp. The story of one grandfather, Arya, who survived for over two years by maintaining a positive attitude and always being willing to help, is highlighted. The narrative transitions to the broader concept that positivity can lead to success and happiness, supported by research from psychologists like Victor Frankel and studies showing the benefits of happiness in the workplace. The speaker introduces the theme of positivity as a science and sets the stage for exploring ways to harness it.
👀 First Impressions and Multi-Sensory Positivity
This paragraph delves into the significance of first impressions, citing research that shows how quickly we form opinions about others and the impact of physical appearance on our interactions. The speaker uses the example of online dating apps to illustrate this point. The concept of a multi-sensory approach to positivity is introduced, emphasizing the role of all human senses in creating positive experiences. The olfactory sense is highlighted for its strong link to memory and emotions, and practical examples such as baking bread to sell an apartment are given. The paragraph concludes with a discussion on the power of a positive multi-sensory experience, such as serving a well-prepared caffeinated drink, which can lead to increased spending and satisfaction.
🌈 Leveraging Surprise and Memory in Positivity
The speaker discusses the Japanese scientist Noriaki Kano's insights on memorable experiences, focusing on the power of surprise and unexpected positive interactions. Examples such as a rental car company installing a child seat without being asked or a hotel remembering a guest's allergy are provided to illustrate how these unexpected gestures create lasting positive impressions. The paragraph also addresses the changing attitudes towards negative behaviors in the workplace and society, with a call from a New York Times article for a shift away from tolerating such behaviors, especially in the post-pandemic world.
🗣️ Communication Styles and Positive Interactions
This paragraph explores different communication styles, distinguishing between passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive communication. The speaker emphasizes the importance of assertive communication for building respectful and long-term relationships. Drawing from experience working with successful individuals, the speaker outlines strategies for positive communication, such as using body language to convey equality and partnership, actively listening more than speaking, and reframing negative messages into positive ones. The paragraph concludes with advice on avoiding negative words and focusing on what is possible, rather than what is not, to foster positivity in interactions.
🤝 Drive, Empathy, and the Connective Thread of Positivity
In the final paragraph, the speaker ties together the themes of drive, empathy, and positivity, suggesting that positivity is the common thread among successful and likable individuals. The speaker reflects on the importance of positivity in communication and personal interactions, using examples from their own life, including their grandfather and political figures they've met. The paragraph concludes with a call to action to 'unjerk' by leveraging first impressions, the five senses, remembering details, and eliminating negativity from our communication, emphasizing that positivity is a scientific approach to living and interacting with others.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Auschwitz
💡Positivity
💡First Impressions
💡Multisensory Approach
💡Assertive Communication
💡Empathy
💡Drive
💡Shimon Peres
💡Victor Frankl
💡Positive Alternatives
Highlights
1941年,一个犹太青少年在奥斯威辛-比克瑙集中营失去家人,通过积极态度和不断说“是”的方式生存下来。
讲述者有四位祖父母是大屠杀幸存者,其中两位在奥斯威辛生存了两年以上。
讲述者的祖父Arya通过总是微笑和说“是”在纳粹集中营中生存下来。
积极态度和价值感是生存的关键,纳粹也认识到Arya的可靠性。
成功导致幸福是一个误解,实际上幸福和积极态度先于成功。
研究表明,快乐的员工生产力平均高出31%,销售额高出37%,创造力是同事的三倍。
讲述者通过学校、军队和不同公司的工作经历认识到积极态度的重要性。
讲述者结婚时发现积极态度在人际关系中的重要性。
讲述者展示了一个图片,测试观众的第一印象,强调了第一印象的力量和危险。
普林斯顿心理学家Wilson Tadore的研究表明,形成对陌生人的印象只需十分之一秒。
外貌在人际关系中起着重要作用,但我们可以影响我们的着装和背景。
讲述者展示了Barbara David制作咖啡的场景,强调了多感官体验的力量。
研究表明,嗅觉是触发记忆的最重要感官,与情感和记忆位于同一大脑区域。
讲述者通过个人经历强调了在军事服务中通过创造力和积极态度解决问题的重要性。
讲述者提到以色列总统和总理Shimon Paris,强调了记住他人名字和细节的重要性。
讲述者提到日本科学家Noriaki Kano关于人们记住惊喜或意外体验的研究。
讲述者讨论了如何通过积极沟通和避免负面语言来改善人际关系。
讲述者分享了成功人士如何通过身体语言、倾听和避免负面词汇来沟通。
讲述者强调了在沟通中说“不”的艺术,即如何以积极的方式表达拒绝。
讲述者提到《哈佛商业评论》的文章,指出优秀的销售人员需要驱动力和同理心。
讲述者总结说,积极态度是连接驱动力和同理心的纽带。
Transcripts
[Music]
thank you
[Music]
the year is 1941.
and you're a Jewish teenager from
Eastern Europe
you just lost your brothers
your sisters
your parents
who were brutally murdered in front of
you or sent to the gas Chambers and you
are imprisoned in one of the most
horrific places Humanity has ever
created
the Auschwitz birkenau concentration
camp
all four of my grandparents were
Holocaust Survivors
two of them survived that damned place
my grandfather Arya which means Lion in
Hebrew survived Auschwitz for more than
two years
I once asked him when I was young
Grandpa how did you do it
and all he said was just by always
smiling and always saying yes
anytime the Nazis asked people to do
anything
no matter how cold he was how long the
day was how hard it was remember this is
Auschwitz we're talking about he said
take me
anytime they asked he raised his hand
high and said I'll do it
even the Nazis knew
they could trust Ave
they knew that they could use them but
it was worthwhile for them to take care
of him
so by being positive and valuable he
survived
my grandfather
here with me
was right
because everything starts with a
positive attitude
and despite all that's happened to him
or maybe because of it he turned out to
be one of the most driven and empathetic
people I have ever met plus everyone
instantly fell in love with him because
he was always positive no matter what
as the famed Austrian psychiatrist and
an Auschwitz Survivor himself Victor
Frankel said everything can be taken
from a man but one thing
to choose one's attitude in any given
set of circumstances
many of us assume that success leads to
happiness
turns out we've got it backward
in his work with KPMG Pfizer and Yale
psychology department Sean Aker has seen
how happiness and positivity precede
success happy employees show an average
of 31 higher productivity 37 percent
higher sales with creativity three times
higher than their unhappy colleagues
therefore from my time in school the
military working for tiny and giant
companies to my career as a management
Professor I realized positivity pays off
period I even just got married for the
second time
right
so
I went on a quest and found four ways to
utilize it anywhere and with anyone
because positivity is not magical it is
science and it all starts with the very
first interaction
now what's gonna happen now I'm going to
show you a picture really quickly on the
screen you have to look up there and
then I'll ask you what you see ready one
two three
all right show of hands who see the man
who's seen a hat
a beard
a smile
now keep your hands up if you think what
you've seen is positive
amazing here's the crazy thing you have
no idea what you've just seen
but like 80 percent of you know it's
positive
this is the power and danger of first
impressions
a series of experiments by Princeton
psychologist Wilson tadore reveals that
all it takes is a tenth of a second to
form an impression of a stranger and
that longer exposures don't really
change that now I'm sure many in this
room have used the dating app like
Bumble or hinge or Tinder that means the
split second we need to know whether to
swipe left or swipe right is more than
enough to know whether or not we want to
hang out with someone and when someone
begs you to try out a date although you
really want to swipe him away
don't
science says it's a complete waste of
time
like it or not judgments based on facial
appearance play a significant role on
how we get treated and how we treat
others psychologists have long known
that attractive people get better
outcomes in practically all walks of
life
unfortunately we cannot change our faces
oh and no Instagram filters do not count
what we can influence though is the way
we dress or the background we use for
that really important online meeting
because yes there is no second chance
for First Impressions here's the picture
I've showed you before and this is my
Barbara David making me an espresso
just the way I like it now he's not just
a master Barber no sir he's also a
master of positivity because he utilizes
a second aspect of it the power of all
human senses
also called the multi-sensory approach
the more senses
the better
now can you smell something now
yes it's the smell of fresh bread did
you know if you're smelling sorry if
you're selling your apartment
you should put bread or cake to bake in
the oven while you show it to people by
doing that
you will raise the chance of them buying
your apartment and even increase the
price
out of all five senses the sense of
smell is the most essential trigger of
memory Studies by Rockefeller University
show us that we remember five percent of
things we see but 35 things we smell one
reason is that the olfactory system is
located in the same part of our brain
that infects emotions and memory so a
scent is subconsciously Associated to a
specific person experience of in time
and when people see your beautiful
apartment while smelling the fresh fruit
they're automatically taken back to the
Realms of their childhood immediately
feeling at home
there's more David also knows what he's
doing when he's making me a coffee
if served appropriately and if it tastes
good it triggers all five of our senses
a 2022 Journal of marketing study found
that having a caffeinated drink before
shopping leads to more purchases and
increased spending
now I'm sure you know the motto don't
drink and drive right so it turns out
that with caffeinated drinks we also
need don't drink and buy
thank goodness my wife really hates
coffee but
she does like Coca-Cola though
anyway my my interest for people and
communication took off throughout my
military service in the IDF
at the time and completely opposed to
what one may think when seeing me back
there I quickly learned that the only
way to tackle ambiguous or demanding
situations is Never by force ever but
only through creativity and positivity
did you hear that leaders of the world
I then worked in security to finance my
business studies at the time I met many
famous people and politicians most if
not all of them ignored me completely
but not Shimon Paris the only man in
history who was both president and prime
minister of Israel
when I was assigned to work for him
he treated me like I was the most
important person in the world asking my
name and what I studied as if he had met
another 100 people that day that deeply
impressed me I met him again a few
months later he seemed happy to see me
he remembered my name even what I
studied was that why everyone loved him
the Japanese scientist noriaki Kano
realized this about 50 years ago
generally people forget average even
better than average experiences with
others what we remember though is
anything surprising or unexpected just
like Shimon Paris remembering my name
this is number three it's the rental car
company that installed the child seat
without me having to ask for it it's the
flight attendant that memorizes
passengers names before they board the
airplane In First Class of course or
it's yeah well or it's the hotel that
remembers you have a pineapple allergy
from a visit two years ago all of these
stick to our minds simply because we did
not expect them also called the lighters
they're the basis of making people fall
in love with a person or even a brand
and it's easy to harness that plus it's
free
now some jerks don't remember anything
about anyone
they couldn't care less right
the world is constantly evolving and so
are we whether in politics or business
we simply refuse to accept negative
behaviors that were perfectly normal
only a few years ago
in a recent New York Times article the
authors call for no more working for
jerks especially since we've all been
rebuilding Our Lives after the pandemic
I did wonder though who's a jerk anyway
so I looked it up
Britannica says it's a person who is not
well liked or treats others badly
now Urban Dictionary really hits the
spot if you ask me by saying it's the
mandatory mindset for self-survival
within corporate Americans
now I wanted I really wanted to show you
examples of jerky communication by using
photographs of famous politicians only
there's only so much it can do in public
so I'll show you photos of my two little
boys instead as they can be the biggest
actors
according to Princeton University there
are three kinds of negative
communication harmful to ourselves in a
relationship with others and only one
that's positive
first there's passive communication
second there's aggressive communication
the worst is passive aggressive
communication
which by the way was the hardest for my
kids to act out
the fourth and only healthy and positive
kind is called assertive communication
the only way to lead to respectful and
longer-term relationships so how can we
utilize it
I've spent thousands of hours working
with Highly Successful People from
dozens of Industries and positions who
cater to the world's wealthiest which
also means most demanding customers and
I've analyzed how they communicate in
good times or bad to figure out their
secret sauce for positivity
number one we communicate with our
bodies long before we switch our miles
on
a luxury real estate agent for example
will never sit across the table from you
as that would feel like a subconscious
barrier implying rivalry but next to you
or even better is to furnish our offices
with round tables because these don't
have sides at all
and even when they walk with you
somewhere they'll make sure to walk side
by side signaling equality and
partnership now looking at these there
is no way in the world to know who's
selling and who is buying right
that's entirely the point
hold on a minute though can't we do the
exact same thing when we're dating
of course we can we're always selling
something to someone here it's an
apartment on a date it's
something else
number two the most successful sales
people in the world spend most of their
days not speaking but zipping it and
listening
something we all really really suck at
as Denzel Washington said an American
Gangster the loudest in the room is the
weakest in the room
finally even when they are the ones to
speak they hardly ever say no as a
matter of fact they hardly ever say any
negative term whatsoever so this is
number four they say no without saying
no
now doesn't that sound like a dream for
all the introverts Among Us who have a
hard time saying no
let me show you how private Bankers for
example speaking to clients of theirs
worth billions cannot say no even when
given an impossible request instead they
reframe their negative message into a
positive one
instead of saying what's impossible
they'll tell you what's possible
and instead of saying what they can do
they'll say what they could do and even
when you ask them for a discount no
that's a real trick they will tell you
something like we already gave you the
best price
now aren't these all much more likable
and positive versions of no
don't get me wrong it doesn't mean we
shouldn't ever say no sorry for
disappointing dear introverts Among Us
it just means we can almost always find
a positive alternative
do you also notice they change their
eyes into E's
excellent communication can never just
be about you unless you're a narcissist
so scrap all your eyes from now on
by the way the word but is almost
negative as a no when we tell someone I
like you but you're a jerk
do we like them
see when we use the word but we actually
cancel anything we've said before it so
scrap that one two and yes it takes a
lot of hard work and practice I can tell
you though I can now spend entire days
without ever saying no
so let's all unjerk
by using anything humanly possible
First Impressions the five senses
remembering little details and scrapping
all negativity from our words and
posture and it works in any single
language
finally a few years ago in a Harvard
Business review article Meyer and
Greenberg answered the ultimate question
of what makes a good salesperson
and it boils down to only two things
Drive
and empathy
I'd say positivity is the fine thread
that connects them
so what do my grandfather Shimon Paris
and the most successful people in the
world have in common
they're all driven people magnets who
constantly exercise positive
communication
and are simply fun to hang around we may
think people are born as great
communicators it positivity is not
magical
it is science as Shimon Paris said
himself
optimists and pessimists die the same
way they just live differently I prefer
to live as an optimist
thank you
[Applause]
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