Why Video Games Are So Hard To Put Down (And How To Learn To Moderate)

Summary

This video script delves into the struggle of overcoming video game addiction by highlighting the role of behavioral reinforcement in shaping desires. It explains how traditional willpower often leads to a cycle of punishment and avoidance of productive behaviors. The speaker advocates for capturing and reflecting on creative impulses and practicing gratitude to positively reinforce healthier habits. The ultimate goal is to alter one's desires, making activities like exercise and socializing as rewarding as playing video games, thus breaking free from the addictive cycle.

Takeaways

• 🎮 The struggle with video game addiction is often a battle between the desire for immediate rewards and the lack of immediate satisfaction from productive behaviors.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Engaging in productive activities like going to the gym can feel like punishment if they are approached with the mindset of conquering a desire rather than finding enjoyment in the activity itself.
• 🔄 The brain's nucleus accumbens plays a crucial role in reinforcing behaviors that are perceived as enjoyable, which is why video games can be so addictive due to their constant dopamine release.
• 💡 Changing desires involves capturing and reflecting on creative impulses that naturally arise throughout the day, turning them into something tangible and meaningful.
• 📝 Writing down thoughts and ideas can help in capturing creative impulses and serves as a starting point for reinforcing non-gaming behaviors.
• 🤔 Reflecting on one's actions and focusing on the positive aspects can help in positively reinforcing behaviors, which is essential for altering desires over time.
• 🙏 Practicing gratitude is a powerful tool in shifting one's mindset from punishment to reward, even when the activity itself might not initially feel rewarding.
• 🔄 The process of altering desires is cyclical, requiring consistent capturing, reflection, and gratitude to reinforce new behaviors and diminish the allure of video games.
• 🌱 Cultivating the right desires involves changing the inputs to the brain, which can be achieved by focusing on the positive outcomes of actions and experiences.
• 🚫 The traditional approach of using willpower to resist video games often fails because it does not address the underlying issue of desire and reinforcement.
• 🌟 Long-term sobriety and behavior change are possible by reshaping desires through consistent positive reinforcement of new, healthier behaviors.

Q & A

What is the main challenge discussed in the script regarding video games?

The main challenge discussed is the struggle to stop playing video games and engage in more productive activities. Video games are addictive because they provide immediate rewards and enjoyment, making it difficult for people to motivate themselves to do other tasks.

How does the script describe the relationship between dopamine and video game addiction?

The script explains that the nucleus accumbens in the brain is activated when dopamine is released, reinforcing behaviors that are enjoyable. Video games trigger this circuit, leading to a cycle of desire to play more due to the pleasure and reward they provide.

What is the problem with using willpower to resist playing video games, according to the script?

Using willpower to resist playing video games is problematic because it often leads to a temporary victory followed by a relapse. This cycle can make it harder each time to resist the habit, as the brain associates the alternative activities with punishment rather than reward.

How does the script suggest changing the desire to play video games?

The script suggests changing the desire by capturing and reflecting on creative impulses, and practicing gratitude. This process helps to positively reinforce behaviors that are not related to video games, gradually altering the brain's desires.

What is the role of the nucleus accumbens in behavioral reinforcement?

The nucleus accumbens is a part of the brain that plays a key role in behavioral reinforcement. When dopamine is released in this area, it reinforces behaviors by creating a sense of enjoyment and pleasure, making individuals more likely to repeat those behaviors.

Why does the script mention the importance of reflecting on creative impulses?

Reflecting on creative impulses is important because it allows individuals to engage with their natural desires and interests, which can be a more effective way to motivate themselves than forcing themselves to do activities they find less enjoyable.

How does practicing gratitude help in the process of changing desires, as described in the script?

Practicing gratitude helps by allowing individuals to acknowledge and appreciate the positive aspects of their actions, rather than focusing solely on the negatives. This positive reinforcement can help to change the brain's associations with certain behaviors, making them more desirable.

What is the script's perspective on the effectiveness of behavioral reinforcement in video games?

The script suggests that behavioral reinforcement in video games is highly effective due to the immediate rewards and enjoyment they provide. This makes it challenging to break away from the habit, as the brain is constantly reinforced to seek more of the same pleasurable experiences.

How does the script relate the concept of behavioral reinforcement to other activities like exercise or studying?

The script relates behavioral reinforcement to other activities by pointing out that these activities often do not provide immediate rewards or enjoyment, making them less reinforcing. This can lead to a lack of motivation and a tendency to avoid these activities in favor of more immediately rewarding ones like video games.

What is the script's advice for someone struggling with video game addiction and wanting to be more productive?

The script advises capturing and reflecting on creative impulses, engaging in activities that naturally interest them, and practicing gratitude for their efforts. This approach is meant to help change the brain's desires and make productive activities more appealing over time.

Outlines

00:00

🎮 Overcoming Video Game Addiction

The speaker discusses the struggle of overcoming video game addiction, comparing the constant reward of playing games to the lack of immediate gratification from productive behaviors like going to the gym or studying. They emphasize the difficulty of using willpower to resist the desire to play games, suggesting that this approach often leads to a cycle of failure and relapse. The speaker introduces the concept of behavioral reinforcement in the brain's nucleus accumbens and how it can be leveraged to change desires and habits.

05:01

💪 The Challenge of Reinforcing Productive Behaviors

This paragraph delves into the challenge of reinforcing productive behaviors like exercising and studying, which often feel punishing due to the lack of immediate reward. The speaker describes how attempts at productivity can lead to feelings of failure and avoidance, making it harder to break away from addictive behaviors like video gaming. They explain the concept of behavioral reinforcement in the context of daily activities and how the lack of positive reinforcement can perpetuate unproductive cycles.

10:03

📝 Capturing and Reflecting on Creative Impulses

The speaker introduces a strategy for changing desires by capturing creative impulses, such as the excitement for a new hobby or idea, and reflecting on them. They suggest that writing down thoughts and ideas can train the mind to engage in non-gaming activities and provide material for reflection, which is essential for reinforcing new behaviors. The importance of not just capturing these impulses but also actively reflecting on them to cultivate a positive association with the new behavior is highlighted.

15:05

🌱 Cultivating Desire Through Positive Inputs

The paragraph discusses the importance of positive inputs in cultivating the right kind of desires. The speaker uses the example of discussing a friend's video game to illustrate how external inputs can trigger excitement and desire. They emphasize the need for reflection on one's own creative impulses to provide the brain with positive inputs that can spark excitement and desire for non-gaming activities, leading to a change in habitual behaviors.

20:05

🙏 The Power of Practicing Gratitude

The speaker shares their initial skepticism towards practicing gratitude but goes on to explain its significance in altering desires. They describe how acknowledging and being grateful for progress, even when it feels insufficient, can positively reinforce behaviors. The paragraph highlights the role of gratitude in counteracting the negative thoughts that often follow attempts at productivity, thus helping to change the brain's association with these activities and fostering a more positive outlook towards them.

🛑 Altering Inborn Desires to Break Free from Addiction

In the final paragraph, the speaker concludes that by capturing creative impulses, reflecting on them, and practicing gratitude, one can alter inborn desires shaped by the nucleus accumbens. They illustrate how this process can lead to a change in natural desires, making healthier activities feel rewarding and desirable. The speaker suggests that this method can ultimately lead to a state where the desire to play video games is diminished, similar to the experience of long-term sobriety from alcohol.

Keywords

💡Behavioral Reinforcement

Behavioral reinforcement refers to the process by which a behavior is strengthened or weakened through its consequences. In the context of the video, it is used to explain how activities like playing video games can become addictive due to the immediate rewards they provide, such as dopamine release in the brain. The video suggests that to overcome video game addiction, one must shift the focus from resisting the desire to play games to reinforcing more productive behaviors.

💡Nucleus Accumbens

The nucleus accumbens is a region in the brain that plays a key role in the brain's reward system. It is associated with the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that contributes to feelings of pleasure and enjoyment. The video discusses how the nucleus accumbens is activated during activities like playing video games, reinforcing the behavior and making it more likely to be repeated. Understanding this mechanism is crucial for addressing addiction and shifting desires towards more productive activities.

💡Dopamine

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is associated with the brain's reward system. It plays a significant role in motivation, pleasure, and reinforcement of behaviors. In the video, dopamine is highlighted as the chemical that is released during enjoyable activities, such as playing video games, which reinforces the behavior and makes it addictive. The speaker suggests that to change addictive behaviors, one must shift the focus to activities that can also trigger dopamine release but are more productive.

💡Addiction

Addiction, in the context of the video, refers to a compulsive engagement in a behavior despite negative consequences. The video specifically discusses video game addiction, explaining how the immediate rewards from video games can lead to a cycle of addiction. The speaker emphasizes the need to understand the underlying mechanisms of addiction, such as the role of the nucleus accumbens and dopamine, to effectively address and overcome it.

💡Willpower

Willpower is the ability to control one's impulses and make decisions that align with one's goals rather than immediate gratification. The video discusses the struggle of using willpower to resist the desire to play video games. It suggests that relying solely on willpower is not a sustainable solution to overcoming addiction, as it often leads to a cycle of temporary success followed by relapse.

💡Productivity

Productivity, in the video, refers to engaging in activities that contribute to personal or professional goals, such as studying, exercising, or working on a resume. The speaker contrasts productivity with the immediate gratification of playing video games, highlighting the challenge of motivating oneself to be productive. The video encourages finding ways to make productive activities as rewarding as possible to shift desires away from less productive behaviors.

💡Creative Impulses

Creative impulses are spontaneous desires or ideas to engage in creative activities, such as writing, painting, or other forms of artistic expression. The video suggests capturing these impulses as a way to shift focus from video games to more productive and rewarding activities. The speaker emphasizes the importance of reflecting on and acting on these impulses to cultivate a desire for more creative and fulfilling pursuits.

💡Reflection

Reflection, in the context of the video, involves thinking critically about one's actions and experiences, particularly in relation to productive behaviors. The speaker advises reflecting on activities like exercise or studying to identify positive aspects and reinforce the desire to continue these behaviors. This process is crucial for altering the brain's reinforcement patterns and shifting desires towards more productive activities.

💡Gratitude

Gratitude, as discussed in the video, is the practice of acknowledging and appreciating the positive aspects of one's life and experiences. The speaker argues that practicing gratitude is essential for reinforcing positive behaviors and shifting desires away from addictive activities like playing video games. By focusing on gratitude, individuals can counteract the negative thoughts that often follow attempts at productivity and encourage a more positive outlook.

💡Desire

Desire, in the video, refers to the natural inclination or craving for certain activities, influenced by the brain's reward system. The speaker explains that desires are shaped by what is reinforced in the nucleus accumbens through activities like playing video games. The video advocates for altering desires by focusing on positive reinforcement of productive behaviors, such as exercise or creative pursuits, to replace the addictive pull of video games.

Highlights

The struggle with conquering the desire to play video games and the feeling of punishment when engaging in productive behaviors.

The concept of behavioral reinforcement and its role in video game addiction through the activation of the nucleus accumbens.

The difficulty in finding motivation to engage in activities other than video games due to the immediate rewards provided by games.

The idea that resisting the desire to play video games often leads to a cycle of relapse and reinforcement of the habit.

The importance of capturing creative impulses as a natural way to engage in non-game-related activities.

The role of reflection in shaping desires and the necessity to reflect on creative impulses to positively reinforce behaviors.

The practice of gratitude as a method to counteract negative thoughts and reinforce positive behaviors.

The challenge of experiencing punishment rather than reward when attempting to be productive, leading to avoidance of such behaviors.

The comparison between the immediate reinforcement provided by video games and the delayed reinforcement of activities like exercise.

The psychological impact of failing to meet personal goals, such as exercising for an hour, and how it affects behavior reinforcement.

The need to change the way the brain learns from progress by reflecting on and appreciating small victories.

The concept that addiction to video games can be overcome by altering desires through behavioral reinforcement.

The strategy of using creative impulses to transition from video game addiction to more productive activities.

The transformative power of writing down and reflecting on creative thoughts to foster a desire for non-game activities.

The potential for practicing gratitude to shift the mindset from punishment to reward when engaging in positive behaviors.

The process of altering inborn desires by positively reinforcing progress and practicing gratitude for achievements.

The final goal of reshaping desires to no longer crave video games by leveraging the principles of behavioral reinforcement.

Transcripts

so if we really think about it when we

conquer our desire to play video games

and we engage in another Behavior there

is no no reward in fact what we actually

experience is punishment from that

behavior and if we are if the our brain

experiences punishment when we go to the

gym or when we're productive what kind

of behavior do you think it's going to

avoid and what kind of behavior do you

think we're going to reinforce

here if you want to get control of your

life and understand how the mind works

check out a DIY guide to mental health

the link is in description huh

I want to talk to you all today about

how to stop playing video games this is

something that I struggled with a lot

and a lot of the people in our community

have talked about this a lot where you

know you know you should be doing stuff

besides playing video games or maybe

using the internet or social media and

we kind of know in the back of our mind

that we should be more productive maybe

I should be exercising maybe I should

learn how to cook maybe I should do my

schoolwork maybe I should work on my

resume there are all kinds of things

that we know we should be doing the

problem though is that video games are

actually just way more fun right where

that's why they sort of become addictive

because any moment that we spend playing

a video game there's going to be some

kind of reward whereas all this other

stuff that we should be doing for some

reason it's just really hard to motivate

ourselves to do that and so what do we

end up doing we end up trying to conquer

that desire we wake up in the morning

and the first thought in my mind is okay

like I want to play games today I don't

want to work on my resume I don't want

to exercise I don't want to do any of

this stuff and if you're like me what

you end up doing is fighting with

yourself right you try to conquer that

desire you try to use willpower and

discipline and you win for a day or

maybe two but if you're like me

eventually the the real challenge is

that you know you're going to lose right

so you can conquer that desire with

willpower on day one you can conquer

that desire with willpower on day two

maybe even day three or day four but

inevitably you're going to slip right

you're going to go back to the video

game and the challenge that I faced and

maybe you feel this way too is that

conquering your desires to play games

feels like a war that you will

eventually lose sure you can win a

battle here you can win a battle there

but that desire to play the game in that

constant struggle that you have is never

going to go away and so what I'd love to

share with you all today is actually how

to change that because what I've

discovered and this is what's so bizarre

is that you can actually change that and

I know that if you sound kind of

skeptical of that let me just start by

sharing a story from a patient that I

worked with as an addiction psychiatrist

so I don't know if you'll know this but

you know alcohol is quite addictive so I

noticed something really strange when I

was working with patients who are sober

which is that once they were sober for a

while they started to make really weird

statements like they would say yeah I

don't even think about alcohol anymore

it's not actually a problem at all I

don't even want to drink and I got

really confused by that because I had

sort of been raised to believe that the

whole point of being addicted to alcohol

is that you have this genetic

predisposition you have these like

chemicals in your brain and these

neurotransmitters and neurons that make

you addicted to the substance that you

crave the substance you want the

substance and despite the fact that it

ruined your entire life you can't resist

the substance and so I started to wonder

a little bit wait hold on a second

what's going on here because these

people aren't sober anymore through

willpower they're not sober through

conquering their desire something has

changed about the way that their desire

manifests or more importantly they

actually desire to not drink anymore and

so what I'd love to share with you all

today is how to shape your desire that

you no longer even want to play video

games that may sound absolutely insane

but actually it's quite simple and the

main principle that we're going to focus

on today is behavioral reinforcement so

let's start by understanding behavioral

reinforcement within video games

so generally speaking we have the

circuit uh in the brain or this part of

our brain called the nucleus accumbens

and the nucleus accumbens is a very

dopaminergic circuit so usually what

happens is when dopamine is released in

the nucleus accumbens it reinforces a

behavior we want to do it more and the

subjective feeling of reinforcement in

the nucleus accumbens is actually

enjoyment pleasure so when we sort of

talk about all this dopaminergic stuff

like social media or video games or

things like that we enjoy doing it and

those behaviors get reinforced which is

why they're so hard to kick and this is

the basic problem with video games right

is that they're fun so every time we

play them that circuit of our brain gets

activated we get a little Spurt of

dopamine and then the behavior gets

reinforced the next day when we wake up

we're thinking about video games we want

to play video games because our brain

our nucleus accumbens is like hey we

need more dopamine so let's play again

and so then we fall into this trap of

okay since I have this natural impulse

to play the video game that's what my

nucleus accumbens wants I try to

restrict it I try to conquer I try to

control it and so let's understand a

little bit about what happens in terms

of reinforcement when we actually

control the impulse to play a video game

so let's say I wake up in the morning

and I want the video game I want that

dopamine energy expert but I decide not

to so I use my willpower I activate my

frontal lobes and I control the desire

and then what I'll do I'll say okay I

need to be productive so I will go and

exercise I'm going to go to the gym

today so then I go to the gym and I work

out for I was planning on going for an

hour but I'm kind of deconditioned

because I play games all day so after

about 20 minutes I'm huffing and puffing

and then I come home because I'm

exhausted right so I want you all to

think about that for a second what do

you think I'm actually reinforcing in

that moment do you think that I'm saying

to myself yeah I went to the gym today

no actually I feel terrible I feel out

of breath I feel ashamed because I was

going to work out for an hour and I

could only last 20 or 25 minutes I feel

kind of embarrassed with myself I don't

really feel good so if we really think

about it what am I actually doing in

that moment am I actually reinforcing

the desire to exercise

absolutely not the same is true for

something like being productive for a

day right so let's say I I have a test

that's a week from today and I decide

that I'm not going to procrastinate

right so I'm going to study for a little

while so I get up and I I force myself

to study and I study for two or three

hours and how do I feel at the end of

that study do I actually feel great

about myself usually no I start to think

all these kinds of thoughts like man

like I can't believe that I have to so

much work to do I wish I'd gotten

started earlier there are all kinds of

thoughts that I have but I usually don't

feel great I don't think at the end of

those two hours man I'm definitely going

to get an A a week from now right this

is I'm doing so awesome so if we really

think about it when we conquer our

desire to play video games and we engage

in another Behavior there is no no

reward in fact what we actually

experience is punishment from that

behavior and if we are if the our brain

experiences punishment when we go to the

gym or when we're productive what kind

of behavior do you think it's going to

avoid and what kind of behavior do you

think we're going to reinforce so even

spurts of productivity are spurts of

doing the right thing actually leads to

avoidance by our brain we actually start

to avoid productive stuff because we

actually don't enjoy it at all when we

do it and this is what actually happens

is we can fall into this cycle where I

try to resist the video game I resist

for a day or two it doesn't really work

out and then I I crash right so I

relapse I start playing again and then I

have to resist again so I muster up all

my willpower and energy but the second

time around it feels harder to kick the

habit and the third time around it feels

even harder to kick the habit and the

more that you try to kick the habit the

harder it becomes and if you kind of

think about that wait like that's so

weird why is that it's because each time

you try to kick the habit and you fail

to a certain degree or it's too

temporary what you're actually doing is

punishing yourself because all you're

doing is paying the cost without

actually seeing any benefit so let's

just think about exercise for a second

right how many days do you have to go to

the gym to actually see positive

reinforcement from the gym right it's

got to be months it's not going to be a

couple of days it's not going to be a

couple of weeks we're talking about

three months four months five months six

months and if we look at it through the

lens of reinforcement we can now see why

going to the gym is hard because every

day that we go to the gym we actually

feel worse and there's this alluring

video game over here that we can kind of

tap into at any point and it'll give us

that straight Spurt of dopamine so this

is the first thing that we have to

understand is that overcoming video game

addiction is not actually positively

reinforcing it's actually punishing and

over time can induce our brains to avoid

productivity instead of video games

so now the question becomes okay what do

we do about it so our strategy has to be

one where we start reinforcing the right

kinds of behaviors instead of when we

engage in a behavior actually being

punished for it we need to cultivate

particular ways to where our brain can

actually enjoy the activity and that

starts with first of all catching your

creative impulses so if you're like me

part of what you may have experienced is

that there are times throughout the day

when you do get a little bit excited

about things that are not video games

maybe you get excited about reading a

particular book or maybe you get excited

about I don't know painting or maybe you

do get excited you watch some workout

video or something or you see someone

canoeing and you're like man that would

be a lot of fun to go canoeing or go

swimming there are these impulses that

we have towards the right behaviors now

this is really important because these

impulses come naturally they're not

something that we have to force

ourselves into so this is not like

avoiding a video game to go exercise

this is sort of catching a natural

impulse in my case it's writing so

that's kind of what I'm going to focus

focus on but you can absolutely apply

this to whatever your creative impulse

is or what kind of impulses you have so

I started by simply jotting things down

so the first thing that we're going to

do is if you have some kind of impulse

try to capture it in some way so I

started carrying around a notebook I

installed a Notes app on my phone and

what I what I started doing was just

capturing my thoughts I started taking

some of that creative impulse and

actually turning it into something so

that's actually step one is that when we

have that creative impulse we want to

capture it and we want to put it down

into something now this does a couple of

things the first thing that it does is

it trains us to start engaging in things

that are not video games since we

already have that impulse we don't have

to overcome anything but we can kind of

capture it and we want to sort of get

started with some kind of work the

second thing that this does is gives us

an opportunity for something to reflect

on and that's going to be the second

step that we do so if we think a little

bit about how can we start to encourage

our minds to have the right kind of

Desire I want you to imagine a scenario

let's say that a friend of yours is

thinking about I don't know writing a

making a video game and as they start

telling you about the video game you can

get excited about it too so you may want

to give them suggestions you may want to

say oh hey I think you should have this

I think you should add that and then you

kind of get excited about it the two of

you all talk about it maybe even talk a

little bit about collaborating and now

suddenly there's excitement there's

desire and if we kind of think about it

what triggered that desire what

triggered the desire was the input that

your friend gave you your friend started

talking about the video game that they

made so if we want to cultivate the

right kinds of desires we need the right

kinds of inputs and this is why writing

stuff down can be incredibly important

so what I started doing is writing stuff

down and then I would reflect on it

right so I would pause and I would look

at it sometimes I would read it so this

is where a lot of people fall short

because they may try to capture that

creative impulse but then if you never

reflect on it or never turn it into

anything what is that actually going to

reinforce what that's what your brain

will actually learn is that there is no

point in writing these things down

because we never turned it into anything

it's actually a complete waste of our

time you spent 15 minutes writing

something down and then a year later you

did nothing with it so then your brain

actually reinforces hey this is a waste

of time we actually should not capture

our creative impulses so how do you

switch that around you actually spend

time reflecting on it if you write for

15 minutes and you wake up the next day

and you read what you wrote what you'll

start to discover is that your mind will

be sparked in the right way you'll start

to have more and more desires you just

love to think about it maybe you feel

inspired to write a little bit more and

so as you start to reflect on things

you're actually giving your brain the

right kinds of inputs that will get you

excited and then once again you

capitalize on those inputs so the second

thing that we really have to learn how

to do is reflect on whatever our

creative impulses are in the case of

something like exercise you can still

reflect on it even if you don't feel

good about it you can sort of pause

after you go to the the gym and you can

kind of start to ask yourself some

questions you can say okay well how do I

feel about what happened today instead

of actually defaulting to oh man this

was an absolute mess and you know

there's no way we're ever going to do

this again stop and pause and reflect

and think a little bit critically what

do I like about today what are the wins

today and what are the losses today

because here's the wild thing if you

actually go to the gym for the first

time and you spend 25 minutes there

that's actually a huge W right for the

first day you exercised and that's

actually a huge win but unless we're

careful unless we reflect properly what

we end up actually doing is punishing

ourselves for going to the gym because

we don't see it as a w all we see are

all of the thousand things that we did

wrong right all we actually experience

is all these negative thoughts I should

have gone a year ago I should have gone

longer I can't believe I'm so weak you

know why am I wasting my time because

this is actually what your brain is

learning so how do you change the

learnings you change the learnings by

actually reflecting on it once you start

reflecting on the exercise you'll start

to see okay well actually you know at

least it was a win that I went today I

went for 20 minutes today if I'm lucky I

can go for 20 minutes tomorrow or maybe

I can shoot for 25 minutes everyone's

going to start gotta start somewhere and

as you start to go through that

cognitive process you actually start to

positively reinforce the desire to

exercise

the third thing that we're going to talk

a little bit about is honestly

originally I thought that this was kind

of BS okay and that is practicing

gratitude so I heard about all this

practice and gratitude crap when I

originally got into alternative medicine

and especially when I was becoming a

psychiatrist and even as a psychiatrist

I thought that practice and gratitude

was like a waste of everyone's time I

really did not understand it because in

my mind here's what I kind of discovered

was like okay people are like telling me

I should be grateful for stuff but why

on Earth would I be grateful about

anything when I have all of this crap

that I need to do you know all my mind

would see are all the things that need

to get done I can't spend time being

grateful for the tiny little portion of

thing that I do things that I do right

when I've got a bunch of stuff that I

need to be doing better so every fiber

of my being thought that practice and

gratitude was BS but as I've grown and

learned this is actually a huge huge

huge part of cultivating the right kind

of Desire so what is practicing

gratitude do so if we go back to our gym

example let's say that I went to the gym

for 20 minutes planning on going for an

hour and now I come home I feel ashamed

of myself and I feel weak so let's pause

for a second did I actually do the right

thing today and the answer is

unequivocally yes right because I got up

off my ass I went to the gym and I

exercised at least for 20 minutes that

is way way way better than sitting at

home and playing video games even if I

look at something like writing I used to

write and the first thing that would

happen is I would think to myself how

bad this writing is I would read it the

next day I try to reflect

and all I would see is criticisms in my

mind I can't believe that it's so bad I

have so much work to do I would only see

the negatives with my actual progress

and you think about that for a second

if all the progress that you make is met

by negatives in your mind what are you

actually going to reinforce because

every time you actually take a step

forward your mind punishes you for it

and so how do we stop that how do we

make it so that even if I go to the gym

for 20 minutes sure it's 20 minutes or

25 at least I did it right and that

answer is gratitude this is the huge

value of practice and gratitude you need

to learn how to practice gratitude if if

when you make take the right step

forward if you make some kind of

progress if your mind yells at you about

all the negativity if it yells at you

about how you should have started

earlier or it's not enough or what will

other people think or someone else does

it better than me if your mind responds

to your step forward with all of these

negative thoughts then you need to

practice gratitude because as your mind

responds with all of those thoughts what

are you actually reinforcing your mind

is punishing you for making progress in

life

and just think about this because this

is exactly why we get addicted to video

games because when we take a step

forward if our mind punishes us for

Progress what do you think we're going

to end up doing our brain learns our

nucleus accumbens learns hey we can

write and exercise and learn how to cook

and try to be social which you remember

when you tried to be social and you were

filled with with anxiety and you went to

a party and no one talked to you and it

was a really really painful experience

as soon as you leave does your mind tell

you man you made a You made huge

progress today right you actually like

got up off your ass and you went to a

party and sure it was rough but you did

a good job kid like good job that's not

what your mind said your mind says never

again and when our mind says never again

to progress what is it going to say to

video games it's going to say absolutely

all the time let's go so practicing

gratitude is the process of any time you

do something acknowledging that there

are negatives acknowledging we're not

saying that there isn't a long way to go

we're not saying that you know you are

out of you aren't out of shape like all

those things can be true and you can at

least appreciate some kind of positive

right you can say at least I went today

and once you start cultivating that what

you're actually going to be doing is

positively reinforcing the behavior and

so if we do these three things if we

start by capturing our creative impulses

or capturing our impulses reflecting on

our impulses and practice and gratitude

what we will actually do is reinforce

these behaviors in our mind as we start

to reinforce these behaviors in our mind

our desires begin to change because

where does desire come from it comes

from what's been reinforced in the

nucleus accumbens since video games are

so good at reinforcing stuff in the

nucleus

since video games are so good at causing

dopamine to be released in the nucleus

accumbens that's literally why we get

addicted so what we need is to start

cultivating the right kinds of desires

and the way that we cultivate the right

kinds of desires is by actually

processing in the right way are creative

impulses reflecting on our creative

impulses and even practicing gratitude

so here's the crazy thing about being

addicted to video games even when you do

the right thing your mind punishes you

for it and as long as your mind is

punishing you for doing the right thing

it will always be a war that you will

inevitably lose the way to win this war

is by actually altering your desires and

then the question becomes okay hold on a

second how do I do that and this is the

cycle that will lead to an alteration of

your inborn desire because once I start

capturing my creative impulses once I

start reflecting on those things and

once I start practicing gratitude that

kind of progress address becomes

positively reinforced once that progress

becomes positively reinforced then my

mind wants it again right that's the

whole point behind the nucleus accumbens

when the nucleus accumbens lights up it

actually influences our desires the next

day and this is the problem with video

games is that they're so good at

lighting up the nucleus accumbens the

moment they light up the nucleus

accumbens you've created a desire to

play a video game tomorrow a simple way

of looking at this is when I play a

video game and I have fun what do I want

to do tomorrow I want to play more of

the video game if I play a video game

and I don't have fun I don't want to

play that video game tomorrow so what we

need to start doing to create the right

kind of Desire is to actually pause

reflect and practice gratitude on our

positive moment in our positive momentum

in life and once we start to do that our

brain will naturally start to create

desires that are sort of good for us

it'll start to want to exercise man I

feel so good after exercising I really

enjoy cooking I really enjoy writing I I

really enjoy hanging out with my friends

and our natural desires will start to

change and once our natural desires

start to change this is how we achieve

the state of an alcoholic who's in

long-term sobriety and doesn't even want

to touch the alcohol anymore because

that's absolutely possible and this is

the sequence of events to really shape

your desire to no longer even want to

play video games