Why self improvement is ruining your life
Summary
TLDRThe video script discusses the allure of self-improvement and the feeling of mastering interests, yet critiques the online culture that treats it as a panacea for life's struggles. It argues that true success comes from deep expertise in a field, not just self-improvement. The speaker humorously recounts personal experiences with obsessive self-help and recommends 'An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth' by Chris Hadfield, emphasizing real-world experience over theoretical perfection.
Takeaways
- 😀 The feeling of personal growth in areas of interest is incredibly rewarding, such as seeing physical progress at the gym or mastering a skill like piano playing.
- 💪 Strength and new achievements, whether in fitness or other skills, are significant motivators for continued effort and enjoyment.
- 🏠 Competence in skills makes individuals more valuable to themselves, their families, and their communities, contributing to a better world.
- 🌐 Online communities often promote self-improvement as a standalone hobby, suggesting it as a cure-all for life's problems.
- 🤔 While self-improvement is a positive pursuit, it can be destructive when it's presented as the solution to all life struggles, leading to a conditional happiness based on self-improvement.
- 🚀 Successful individuals often achieve their goals by excelling in a specific area rather than general self-improvement obsession.
- 📚 Reading books on social skills is less effective than actual social interaction, highlighting the importance of experience over theory.
- 🛡️ Being overly focused on self-improvement can lead to missing out on real-life experiences, akin to a knight sharpening his sword while ignoring the battle outside.
- 🗡️ It's better to 'hack and slash' through life with a 'dull sword' (less perfect skills) than to never venture out due to a focus on perfection.
- 📚 The speaker recommends 'An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth' by Chris Hadfield, a book that exemplifies the value of experience over self-improvement obsession.
- 🎧 Audible is praised for its selection and service, offering a monthly credit for any audiobook and keeping the library even after canceling membership.
Q & A
What is the main idea of the video script about self-improvement?
-The script discusses the concept of self-improvement, emphasizing the importance of pursuing competence in specific areas of interest rather than treating self-improvement as an end in itself or a solution to all life's problems.
What does the script suggest about the feeling of getting better at something you're interested in?
-The script suggests that the feeling of getting better at something you're interested in, such as getting stronger at the gym or improving piano skills, is inherently rewarding and contributes to a sense of competence and usefulness.
How does the script describe the culture of self-improvement on platforms like Reddit and YouTube?
-The script describes a culture where self-improvement is seen as a standalone hobby, often prescribed as an antidote for various life struggles, which can be both beneficial and potentially harmful if it becomes an obsession.
What is the potential issue with viewing self-improvement as the answer to everything?
-The script argues that viewing self-improvement as the answer to everything can stem from a place of insecurity and conditional happiness, leading to an unrealistic expectation that self-improvement will solve all life's problems.
What does the script say about the most successful people and their approach to self-improvement?
-The script suggests that the most successful people did not achieve their status by obsessing over self-improvement but rather by being exceptionally good at something specific, such as Bill Gates with coding.
What is the script's stance on reading self-improvement books about social interaction without practical experience?
-The script criticizes the approach of reading self-improvement books about social interaction without actually engaging in social activities, likening it to an alien trying to learn social skills in isolation.
What is the script's advice on the balance between self-improvement and real-world experience?
-The script advises that while self-improvement can be useful, it should not replace real-world experience. It encourages getting out, making mistakes, and living life while continuously learning and improving.
What book does the script recommend that is not about self-improvement?
-The script recommends 'An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth' by Chris Hadfield, which, despite its title, is not a self-improvement book but a narrative of experiences and lessons from the life of a Canadian astronaut.
How does the script describe the metaphor of a knight sharpening his sword within castle walls?
-The script uses the metaphor of a knight sharpening his sword within castle walls to illustrate the futility of focusing solely on self-improvement without engaging in real-world challenges and experiences.
What is the script's final message regarding self-improvement and living life?
-The final message of the script is to encourage viewers to live life actively, embracing experiences and mistakes, while also continuing to learn and improve, rather than being consumed by self-improvement alone.
Outlines
🏋️♂️ The Joy of Self-Improvement
The paragraph discusses the intrinsic satisfaction derived from self-improvement in various fields such as gym workouts and playing the piano. It highlights how gaining competence and seeing tangible improvements can enhance one's confidence and usefulness. However, it critiques the culture on platforms like Reddit and YouTube where self-improvement is often treated as a standalone hobby, detached from specific goals or interests. This can lead to an unhealthy obsession with self-improvement as a cure-all for life's problems, which is portrayed as a misguided approach.
⚔️ Living Life vs. Self-Improvement Obsession
This paragraph uses the metaphor of a knight sharpening a sword within castle walls while a war rages outside to illustrate the pitfalls of excessive focus on self-improvement. It emphasizes the importance of practical experience and learning through real-life challenges over endless preparation. The narrative shifts to promoting the value of making mistakes and gaining firsthand experience as a more effective means of self-improvement. The paragraph concludes with a recommendation for an Audible book by astronaut Chris Hadfield, advocating for practical engagement with life over theoretical self-improvement.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Self-improvement
💡Competence
💡Insecurity
💡Charisma
💡Obsession
💡Cerebralizing
💡Experiential Learning
💡Perfectionism
💡Hobby
💡Obsessive Self-improvement
💡Real World
Highlights
The feeling of getting better at things you're interested in is one of the best feelings.
Self-improvement is often seen as a standalone hobby detached from any particular interest or goal.
There's a culture on Reddit, YouTube, and bodybuilding forums that promotes self-improvement as an antidote for a crappy life.
Improving yourself is a noble and worthwhile aim, but it shouldn't be seen as the answer to everything.
Internet self-improvement communities often sell the idea of reaching a point where life struggles are minimized.
Obsessive self-improvement can stem from insecurity and dissatisfaction with where you are now.
Successful people often get where they are by being really good at something specific, not by focusing on self-improvement.
Practical experience and living life are more important than obsessively sharpening skills without real-world application.
Reading social interaction books without actually socializing can be counterproductive.
Self-improvement is helpful only if it complements real-life actions and experiences.
People often realize it's better to engage in life with imperfect skills than to perfect skills in isolation.
Chris Hadfield's life demonstrates the value of pursuing a goal with practical experience rather than obsessing over self-improvement.
Audible offers a vast selection of audiobooks and a convenient credit system for monthly selections.
Audible memberships allow users to keep their library of audiobooks even after canceling.
The speaker emphasizes the importance of living life fully and not getting trapped in endless self-improvement cycles.
Transcripts
- One of the best feelings in the entire world is
the feeling of getting better
at the things that you're interested in.
If you're starting to get into the gym,
it feels really good
to actually see yourself getting stronger.
Whether that's visually,
or the fact that you can bench more pounds.
Getting stronger and hitting new records
is at least half the fun
if not all the fun of going to the gym.
If you're a piano player
and you've been practicing your improvisational skills,
it feels really good
to be able to just make a banger of a melody
in like five minutes.
It feels good to walk around life
with a certain level of competence.
You've put in the work,
you're better at certain things than most people
competence makes you more useful to yourself,
to your family,
to your community,
and it kind of makes the world a better place
if you think about it.
But if you've spent pretty much any time
on the internet whatsoever
you've probably noticed that
there's a culture that exists on Reddit
and on YouTube,
and on bodybuilding forums
that sees self-improvement
as its own standalone hobby
detached from any particular interest or a goal.
And it's used almost like a
widely prescribed antidote for a crappy life.
You feeling down in the dumps,
try self-improvement.
Oh damn! your dog died.
There's this self-improvement book
that I heard is really good.
You should go pick it up and read it.
Damn, that sucks dude,
your wife left you?
There's this bald self-improvement YouTuber
that gives really good advice.
You should give him a try.
And that's either a good thing or a bad thing.
I don't think you can really bash the sentiment
because improving yourself
is obviously a noble and worthwhile aim.
Like what else are you gonna do?
Do like get worse?
But one thing that I do think is destructive
is that these internet self-improvement communities
seem to either intentionally or unintentionally
sell this idea of self-improvement
kind of being the answer to everything.
They sell this idea
of being able to improve yourself to a point
where you don't really have to deal with life struggles.
You can eventually improve yourself
to a point where,
everybody loves you
because you're so charismatic,
you have such a rocking body,
everyone's just impressed with your matte DIA Vela biceps,
I'm not ripping on mat DIA Vela
those things are huge.
You'll eventually make so much money that,
you can pretty much buy anything you want.
And all this stuff sounds really great,
who wouldn't want all that stuff.
But as soon as you say it out loud,
it becomes pretty clear that
this type of thinking
almost stems from a place of insecurity
of conditional happiness.
It comes from a certain dissatisfaction
of where you are now.
Self-improvement therefore
becomes kind of like a vehicle
that will take you towards this fantasy,
this perfect life that you've always dreamed.
But if you look at some of the most successful people
on planet earth,
I can guarantee you they didn't get to where they were
by just being really into self-improvement.
Usually they get there
by being really fricking good at something.
Bill Gates was obsessed with coding.
Billion Musk, What's he not into.
If you look up to these types of people
and you want to be somewhat like them,
you have to realize that they're not obsessing
over their perfect morning routine
and figuring out how to like stack certain vitamins
so that you can see through walls
and unlock some sort of third eye of truth or something.
That stuff is useful,
but it's only useful
if you're already doing something.
One of the funniest examples of
self-improvement being super counterproductive or unhelpful
is people who read a lot of books about social interaction.
And I'm totally not speaking from experience.
It seems like common sense
that the best way to get better at socializing
is to socialize.
To go out on a Friday night
instead of spending your time playing video games.
But there was a point in my life where
I didn't really socialize at all,
and all I did was read books like
"How to Win Friends and Influence People"
and "The Likes Switch" and "Models" by Mark Manson.
And it's almost like I was an alien
trying to learn how to socially interact with people
while I was locking myself in my house,
not getting any exposure to people.
It's like the perfect example
of obsessive self-improvement
not doing anything to help me improve.
The very thing that I was trying to improve
was being sabotaged by the fact that I was
cerebralising it, theorizing about it,
instead of just getting out there
and getting experience.
Now, the books that I just mentioned
are helpful and I've recommended them on the channel before,
but they're only helpful
if the vast majority of your time
is spent out there in the real world, just living.
If all you watch is self-improvement videos,
every book you read is a self-improvement book,
and self-improvement is your main hobby,
it's almost like you're a Knight in the middle ages
and you spend like your entire life
deep within the castle walls,
obsessively sharpening your sword
and optimizing your equipment,
meanwhile, there's a war raging on
outside the castle walls
and the kingdom really needs your help,
maybe the princess got captured by a dragon
or something like that,
but you're just sitting there inside
making sure you have like the perfect equipment
and you're doing tons of pushups and stuff
and making sure you're in shape,
but you have no clue
how to fight any of the monsters out there.
You've never been on an adventure before.
So it's like you have the sharpest sword in the world,
but no idea how to use it.
And you're running out of time.
And what most people who eventually break out of this
self-improvement obsession,
eventually figure out
is that it was far better to
hack and slash their way through life
with a dull sword
than to spend your entire life inside with a sharp one.
Now it would obviously be pretty stupid
if you never sharpened your sword.
If you never picked up a book
that suggested a different way of doing things,
if you never questioned your current lifestyle
and what you can do to improve it,
but get out the door,
go make some mistakes
go try some things,
go live life,
and sharpen your sword along the way.
This video was sponsored audible.
And I really wanna use this opportunity
to recommend a book
one of my favorite books
that has absolutely nothing to do with self-improvement.
And that is "An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth"
by Chris Hadfield.
And even though it has the word guide in the title,
but it's not a self-improvement book at all.
Chris Hadfield is a Canadian astronaut
and the former commander of the international space station,
and his life is a great example of the fact that
he didn't spend a lot of time
obsessing over self-improvement
he just had a goal and a dream
and an obsession.
He was out there in the real world gaining experience,
making mistakes, failing, trying again.
I really think it's a worthwhile read
and he narrates the whole thing himself
on the audible version,
so it's definitely well worth it.
Not only does audible
have the largest selection of audio books
on the entire internet,
but every single month
they send you one credit,
which you can spend on an audio book of your choice
regardless of cost,
and they also send you two audible originals.
And one of the best things about audible
is that if you decide to cancel your membership at any time
you still keep your entire library of audio books,
including the audio books that you got for free
using their credit system.
Audibles is one of my favorite sponsors on this channel
because I use them all the time.
I listened to more audio books
than I read physical books.
So to sign up for your free 30 day trial
click the link in the description below
or text "betterideas" to 500-500.
Once again, to sign up for your free 30 day trial,
click the link in the description below,
or text "betterideas" to 500-500.
If you like this video
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and it shoves my bald head into people's homepages,
which could potentially help them out,
help them snap out of a self-improvement obsession
and start living life to its fullest
that sounded a little bit cheesy
but it's true.
If you're lurking here
and this is the billionth time that you've seen my face
I've said baldhead way too many times in this video.
If you've seen me several times
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I posted a vlog to my second channel,
it's more of like a filmy,
Yeah. I don't know.
The link to my second channels in the description below.
Other than that,
thanks so much for watching,
there's plenty of great content coming up very soon
I'm gonna be posting two more videos
within the next 20 days or so,
so it's gonna be a real hoot.
It feels good to be back
and those new videos will be in my brand new place
'cause I'm moving out of this joint.
Thanks so much for watching
and we'll catch you in the next video.
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