How to turn a conversation into a connection

Summary

In this video, Rebecca from engVid shares a powerful communication strategy for improving conversations, especially when English isn't your first language. She highlights the importance of asking open questions (like 'How was your day?') over closed ones ('Did you have a good day?'). Open questions encourage deeper, more meaningful responses and foster stronger connections. Whether in personal, social, or professional settings, using open-ended questions helps build relationships and enhances communication by allowing people to express their thoughts, feelings, and experiences more fully.

Takeaways

• 😀 Open questions lead to deeper conversations and connections.
• 😀 Closed questions typically result in short, one-word answers (Yes/No).
• 😀 Using open questions such as 'How was your day?' encourages people to share more detailed responses.
• 😀 Open questions are essential for building relationships, both personally and professionally.
• 😀 Closed questions are useful for gathering basic information, but they limit the depth of the conversation.
• 😀 The person answering open questions has more control over the conversation, allowing them to share their thoughts and feelings.
• 😀 In professions like counseling and journalism, open questions are crucial to gather more meaningful information.
• 😀 Closed questions can sometimes create a forced choice or presumption, limiting the scope of the answer.
• 😀 When trying to connect with others, asking open questions shows that you're interested in their thoughts, experiences, and feelings.
• 😀 Shifting from closed to open questions can be a simple yet powerful way to enhance your interactions and make them more meaningful.
• 😀 Asking the right questions not only improves your English but also deepens your social and professional relationships.

Q & A

What is the main secret to having better conversations according to Rebecca?

The main secret is to ask open questions rather than closed questions. Open questions encourage sharing, provide more information, and help build stronger connections.

What is the difference between closed and open questions?

Closed questions usually start with 'are you,' 'do you,' or 'did you' and can be answered with 'yes' or 'no.' Open questions often start with 'how' or 'what' and require more detailed responses, giving the person answering the opportunity to share thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Why are open questions better for building relationships?

Open questions allow people to express themselves, show that you care, and give them a chance to share their thoughts and feelings. This strengthens the connection between people, whether personally, socially, or professionally.

Can closed questions ever be useful?

Yes, closed questions are useful when you need basic information quickly, want to limit a conversation, or require a forced choice, such as in transactional contexts like sales or scheduling.

How can parents use open questions with children?

Parents can ask questions like 'How was your day?' instead of 'Did you have a good day?' or 'What happened, kids?' instead of 'Who started the fight?' This encourages children to explain and share more rather than giving one-word answers.

Give an example of transforming a closed question into an open question in a professional context.

Instead of asking 'Was it a good conference?' you can ask 'What did you think of the conference?' or 'How was the conference?' to encourage detailed responses and discussion.

What effect do closed questions have on the control of the conversation?

Closed questions keep control in the hands of the person asking, because they limit the answers to 'yes' or 'no' or short facts. Open questions shift control to the person answering, allowing them to decide how much they want to share.

Why do open questions often lead to more meaningful responses?

Open questions require explanation, prompting people to share opinions, feelings, and experiences. This creates deeper understanding, richer conversations, and stronger connections between people.

Which professions commonly use open questions and why?

Professions such as journalists and counselors often use open questions because their work involves gathering detailed information, understanding others, and listening actively. Open questions help them gain insights and encourage people to share more.

What is a practical tip for turning any closed question into an open question?

Use key words like 'how' or 'what' to reframe the question. For example, 'Did you enjoy the lecture?' can be changed to 'How was your lecture?' or 'What did you think of the lecture?' This opens the conversation and encourages more detailed responses.

How do open questions contribute to personal growth and life improvement?

By asking open questions, you improve communication skills, build stronger relationships, and gain more understanding from others. These positive interactions can enhance your social, professional, and personal life.