Stop Being a Polite Engineer

Summary

In this video, Jake explores the balance between politeness and candidness in remote software development teams. He reflects on how excessive politeness can hinder problem-solving and progress, especially in technical discussions. Drawing inspiration from the book *The Eternal Pursuit of Unhappiness*, he emphasizes the importance of directness and honesty in communication among developers and product managers. Jake shares his perspective on how being candid can lead to more efficient collaboration, though recognizing the need for tact when interacting with different team members, especially in larger organizations or with unfamiliar colleagues.

Takeaways

• 😀 The tyranny of politeness can prevent teams from addressing issues directly and efficiently, leading to missed deadlines and project delays.
• 😀 Candor in communication, such as addressing issues head-on, can be crucial for solving problems quickly in software development.
• 😀 Remote work environments emphasize the need for clear and direct communication, as small misunderstandings can accumulate into larger issues.
• 😀 A polite approach, such as saying 'That's an interesting idea,' may avoid addressing real concerns, whereas candidness involves saying things like 'This may not deliver the value you expect.'
• 😀 Blunt communication in code reviews, such as pointing out overly complicated code, can lead to clearer understanding and better solutions.
• 😀 It's important to recognize when to use a polite approach versus a candid one, depending on the audience and team dynamics.
• 😀 While some may find candid communication rude, others, particularly in product-focused teams, appreciate it for the clarity it brings.
• 😀 Candidness fosters trust within teams who are comfortable being upfront with each other about challenges and solutions.
• 😀 New team members or those unfamiliar with the culture of a company might need to start with more polite, tactful communication to avoid conflict.
• 😀 Understanding when and how to be candid versus polite requires knowledge of team culture and individual preferences to maintain professional respect.
• 😀 A balance between being polite and candid is essential for productive teamwork and driving meaningful results in software projects.

Q & A

What is the main topic Jake discusses in the video?

Jake discusses the concept of politeness versus candidness in professional communication, particularly in remote software engineering and product management environments.

What book does Jake reference in the video, and what is its relevance to the topic?

Jake references the book 'The Eternal Pursuit of Unhappiness,' which explores the idea that the pursuit of perfection and being overly polite can hinder progress. This aligns with Jake's discussion on how politeness can impede effective problem-solving in technical environments.

What is the 'tyranny of politeness' as mentioned in the video?

The 'tyranny of politeness' refers to how human politeness, while well-intentioned, can prevent people from addressing problems directly, which ultimately slows down progress and leads to missed deadlines in professional settings.

How does Jake suggest developers and product managers should communicate with each other?

Jake suggests that developers and product managers should communicate candidly, addressing issues directly and without hesitation. He believes that being straightforward is key to resolving technical problems efficiently, rather than beating around the bush with overly polite language.

What example does Jake give to differentiate polite communication from candid communication?

Jake gives the example of a GitHub PR review. A polite response might be 'That's an interesting idea, let me take a look into it,' whereas a candid response would be 'That is going to be hard to implement and may not deliver the value you expect.' The latter is more direct and problem-focused.

Why does Jake emphasize the importance of candidness in remote work settings?

Jake emphasizes that remote work often requires clear and efficient communication to ensure projects don't face delays. He believes that being candid and addressing problems head-on is crucial for keeping remote teams productive and meeting deadlines.

What is Jake's stance on politeness in communication?

Jake believes that while politeness is important, it can sometimes prevent people from tackling important problems directly. He advocates for candidness, especially when working with trusted colleagues, to ensure issues are addressed quickly and effectively.

When does Jake suggest it is important to be more polite in communication?

Jake acknowledges that being polite and tactful is necessary when communicating with new team members or in larger organizations where some individuals may take direct candor personally. In such cases, a more curious and sensitive approach may be required.

How does Jake feel about his own approach to communication?

Jake prefers to be more candid in his communication, particularly when working with people he trusts. He believes being direct helps to focus on solving problems efficiently, though he recognizes the need for tact in certain environments.

What does Jake encourage viewers to do at the end of the video?

Jake encourages viewers to engage in a dialogue about communication styles, especially in remote software engineering environments. He invites people to share their thoughts on how they interact with others in the workplace and how candidness versus politeness affects their work.