How Do I Negotiate When the Other Side Has More Power? | Negotiation 101 with Bob Bordone

Summary

In this video, Bob Bordone, founder of the Cambridge Negotiation Institute, offers five essential tips for negotiating from a position of less power. He emphasizes that power is relative and can be shifted by adjusting your attitude, preparing thoroughly, and leveraging external standards of legitimacy. Bordone also suggests making normative arguments around fairness, improving your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA), and changing the negotiation structure to your advantage. With practical examples, including car buying and family dynamics, these strategies help you balance power and negotiate more effectively in challenging situations.

Takeaways

• 😀 **Adjust your attitude**: In any negotiation, recognizing that you have power—however small—can help you maintain confidence and negotiate more effectively.
• 😀 **Power is relative**: Power in negotiation isn't absolute; it depends on the situation. Even a small player has power if they're part of the conversation.
• 😀 **Research standards of legitimacy**: Knowing the norms and criteria that apply to your negotiation—such as industry standards or legal precedents—can help you make a stronger case.
• 😀 **Appeal to fairness**: People want to be seen as fair. Use objective standards to show that what the other party is offering isn’t reasonable or aligned with common practices.
• 😀 **Use third-party influence**: In situations where power imbalances exist, bringing in a neutral third party (e.g., media or experts) can help shift the power dynamics.
• 😀 **Improve your BATNA**: The stronger your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA), the better your position in negotiations. Don't rely solely on the current deal.
• 😀 **Shift the communication structure**: Changing how and when you communicate (e.g., from in-person to email or adjusting deadlines) can level the playing field in negotiations.
• 😀 **Negotiation is about interests, not power**: Effective negotiators focus on the underlying interests of both parties, rather than just power dynamics or who holds the stronger position.
• 😀 **Example of changing car negotiation power**: By changing the structure of car buying—gathering information and creating a competitive offer—you can flip a power imbalance in your favor.
• 😀 **Be creative with deadlines**: Setting your own deadlines, or imposing time constraints, can help you regain control and ensure the negotiation process works in your favor.

Q & A

What is the key definition of power in negotiation as provided in the video?

Power in a negotiation is the ability to persuade. This simple and practical definition, based on Roger Fisher's concept, emphasizes that power isn't absolute but relative, depending on the context and the negotiation's dynamics.

How can a change in mindset help when you feel powerless in a negotiation?

A key point in the video is that power is relative. If you're at the negotiation table, the fact that the other side wants something from you means you already have power. Shifting your mindset from feeling powerless to recognizing this inherent power can drastically improve your negotiating stance.

Why is preparation, especially research on standards of legitimacy, important in negotiations?

Researching standards of legitimacy or criteria relevant to the negotiation can enhance your position by demonstrating that the other side's offer is unfair or out of line with common practices. The story about the 16-year-old negotiating his curfew effectively shows how using external standards can shift power in your favor.

How does bringing in third parties help level power imbalances?

By introducing a third party, such as the media or an investigative reporter, you can expose unethical behavior or put pressure on the more powerful party to act justly. This external scrutiny can shift the power dynamic, as shown in the example of a tenant and a landlord in an imbalanced situation.

What role does the concept of BATNA play in negotiating from a weaker position?

BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) is crucial in negotiations. A better BATNA means more leverage because the party with a strong alternative doesn't need to reach a deal. In the video, improving your own BATNA increases your power by offering more options and flexibility.

How can you use a better BATNA to gain leverage in negotiations?

Improving your BATNA, such as securing a competing job offer, gives you a stronger negotiating position. The example of the executive seeking a promotion illustrates how obtaining a better BATNA can provide leverage when the company values competitive offers over internal achievements.

What does changing the structure of a negotiation involve, and how can it benefit someone with less power?

Changing the structure of a negotiation involves adjusting factors such as the mode of communication, time constraints, or deadlines. For example, switching from in-person to email communication or setting a tight deadline can reduce the power of the other party and help level the playing field.

How can changing the communication method help in a negotiation?

Switching the mode of communication, such as moving from in-person meetings to email or phone, can provide more time for careful responses and allow you to present a more structured, well-thought-out argument, thereby reducing the immediate pressure typically exerted in face-to-face interactions.

What is a real-life example of changing the structure of a negotiation to gain more power?

The example of purchasing a car illustrates this concept well. By gathering information about the dealer’s costs and creating a competitive bidding process among several dealerships, the buyer shifts the negotiation dynamics from a power imbalance to a competitive auction, effectively gaining more power in the transaction.

How does setting a deadline impact the power dynamics in negotiations?

Setting a clear deadline in a negotiation, as shown in the car-buying example, forces the other party to make decisions within a limited time frame. This tactic prevents the other party from dragging out the process and can pressure them into offering a better deal, thus shifting some power to you.