I had to change everything

Summary

In this heartfelt and personal video, Ren, a year into her transition, reflects on the challenges of finding work-appropriate clothing that aligns with her evolving identity. She shares her experiences of navigating the complexities of transitioning while managing a long-term full-time job. Ren details her journey of experimenting with fashion, drawing inspiration from media figures like Kafka, and curating a wardrobe that balances personal comfort with office expectations. With humor and authenticity, Ren talks about the highs and lows of embracing a new style while continuing to grow in her transition.

Takeaways

• 😀 Ren is 2 years into her transition, but she has been transitioning slowly and feels more comfortable presenting herself authentically in private rather than at her full-time job.
• 😀 Ren's fashion choices are a way to express her evolving identity, mixing simple, office-appropriate pieces with subtle elements that reflect her personal style.
• 😀 In her early transition, Ren faced the challenge of finding clothes that felt appropriate for both her work environment and her personal identity.
• 😀 Fashion became an important way for Ren to align her external presentation with her internal sense of self, especially as she experimented with styles inspired by characters like Kafka from *Star Rail*.
• 😀 Ren's clothing choices reflect her desire for elegance and mystery, often opting for dark colors (black, white, red) with small, intentional pops of color or accent pieces like nails and accessories.
• 😀 Ren's wardrobe transformation involved getting rid of old clothes that no longer felt true to her identity and experimenting with new styles that were both functional and comfortable.
• 😀 Shopping for clothes that reflect her transition has been a mix of online and offline shopping, with Ren finding key items from brands like Cider and RW & Co. that fit her style and budget.
• 😀 Ren emphasizes that her fashion choices are driven by comfort and the need to balance self-expression with professional appropriateness in her workplace.
• 😀 She loves mixing basic wardrobe staples (like dark sweaters, cardigans, and skirts) with standout items such as a ruffled shirt for an office-chic look with a personal twist.
• 😀 Ren’s approach to fashion is about experimenting with different looks and accessories to create a style that feels authentic to her, regardless of traditional gender norms or expectations.

Q & A

What was Ren's main struggle about a year into her transition?

Ren's main struggle was finding work-appropriate clothing that felt authentic to her new identity. She realized that her old wardrobe no longer fit her, both in terms of style and comfort, which led to a sense of defeat as she tried to balance her transition with the realities of her job.

How did Ren start changing her wardrobe to align with her transitioning process?

Ren began by experimenting with basic and easy-to-wear pieces like a turtleneck sweater dress, paired with jeans, as a way to dip her toe into a more feminine style. She gradually started incorporating more feminine elements while maintaining some elements of her previous wardrobe.

Which media influenced Ren's fashion choices during her transition?

Ren was influenced by the character Kafka, specifically the elegant and mysterious style she embodies. Kafka's fashion, featuring a mix of wine red, white, and dark brown, played a significant role in shaping Ren's wardrobe choices.

How did Ren's fashion reflect her evolving identity?

Ren's fashion evolved from simple, basic pieces to more intentional, feminine attire that expressed her identity. She focused on colors like black, white, and red, often incorporating stylish, office-appropriate clothing that was both functional and comfortable, reflecting her internal transformation.

Why did Ren choose to drop off her old clothes at a thrift store?

Ren chose to donate her old clothes to a thrift store because they no longer represented her evolving style and identity. She hoped that someone else, perhaps a younger trans person, could find value in the clothes she no longer felt suited her.

What is the significance of Ren's style being described as 'office siren'?

The term 'office siren,' coined by Ren's friends, suggests a stylish, confident presence in the workplace. However, Ren clarifies that she does not want to be perceived as overly sexualized at work but rather as someone who dresses in a chic and polished manner.

How does Ren approach mixing and matching pieces in her wardrobe?

Ren enjoys mixing and matching various wardrobe pieces by sticking to a neutral color palette of dark colors and adding small accents like silver, gold, or red. This allows her to create stylish outfits that are appropriate for work while still reflecting her personality and preferences.

What kind of fashion pieces did Ren find most appealing during her transition?

Ren was drawn to items like high-waisted skirts, tailored pants, oversized cardigans, and basic yet elegant tops. These pieces allowed her to balance comfort and style while slowly transitioning into a more feminine presentation.

What did Ren mean by 'gender dysphoria look'?

The 'gender dysphoria look' refers to a fashion choice where Ren would wear a baggy top, like an oversized cardigan, paired with skinny jeans. This style accentuated the contrast between the loose, oversized top and the more form-fitting jeans, representing a physical manifestation of the internal struggle with gender dysphoria.

How does Ren feel about shopping and fashion brands?

Ren expresses a preference for basic, versatile pieces that can be mixed and matched with different outfits. While she acknowledges the influence of brands like RW and Co and Cider, she emphasizes that her clothing choices are not influenced by sponsorships or endorsements but by personal taste and comfort.