A sale is a love affair: Jack Vincent at TEDxLugano
Summary
TLDRThe script draws parallels between sales and romantic relationships, emphasizing trust and emotional connection. It tells the story of Sally and Harry, highlighting Harry's successful sales approach, which mirrored the dynamics of love and trust-building. The narrative expands on how love, trust, and communication are key to both sales and personal relationships, blending anecdotes and humor to illustrate this. It suggests that by listening, asking questions, and fostering trust, professionals can create meaningful business relationships, just as they would in romance.
Takeaways
- 🤝 Networking is key in building relationships, both personal and professional.
- 🛠️ Trust is the foundation of any sale; Harry built trust with Sally by engaging her in meaningful conversations.
- 💡 Selling with love isn't new; emotional connections in business are as important as they are in personal relationships.
- ❤️ Brands like Apple create emotional bonds with customers, turning them into 'love marks'.
- 🔑 The best salespeople listen carefully, ask good questions, and build solutions together, mirroring strong personal relationships.
- 🎯 In sales, the early stages are about capturing attention emotionally; rational decisions come later.
- 👂 Active listening and understanding your client's needs are crucial to building trust and closing deals.
- 🚪 Closing a sale is easier when you’ve established trust and handled objections early on.
- 💬 Pushiness in sales destroys trust; allow the buyer to feel in control during the closing process.
- 💞 Parallels between sales and romance exist because both rely on trust, confidence, and mutual understanding.
Q & A
What is the main theme of the story involving Sally and Harry?
-The main theme of the story is how building trust in a relationship, whether personal or professional, is essential to success. Harry’s actions demonstrate how trust and emotional connection can lead to a successful business relationship.
How does Harry establish trust with Sally during their first meeting?
-Harry establishes trust by engaging Sally in a meaningful conversation, introducing her to others at the networking event, and later following up with a suggestion to meet again. He builds rapport and shows genuine interest in her needs, which is key to trust in both relationships and sales.
What is the significance of the term 'selling with love' in the script?
-‘Selling with love’ refers to the idea that successful sales are based on forming authentic emotional connections with customers, similar to forming personal relationships. Love, in this sense, builds trust, which is crucial for any sale to happen.
How does the concept of 'love marks' relate to business, according to the script?
-The concept of 'love marks,' as explained by Kevin Roberts of Saatchi & Saatchi, refers to brands that create emotional connections with customers. These brands inspire loyalty and affection, like Apple, which customers love and advocate for, demonstrating the power of emotional branding.
What does the script say about the connection between sales tools and romance?
-The script highlights that many sales tools, like asking good questions, listening, and building trust, also apply to romantic relationships. Both sales and romance rely on similar principles of communication, trust, and emotional connection.
What parallel does the speaker draw between finding love and making a sale?
-The speaker draws a parallel by explaining that both finding love and making a sale require trust, emotional connection, and good communication. Early stages in both involve sparking interest and forming emotional bonds before progressing into deeper engagement.
Why is simplicity important in both sales and relationships, according to the speaker?
-Simplicity is important because it helps create emotional connections early on. In sales, a clear and compelling message grabs attention, just as in relationships, simple gestures can spark feelings of attraction. Overcomplicating things too early can make it harder to build that connection.
What role does listening play in both sales and personal relationships?
-Listening is described as one of the most underrated yet crucial skills in both sales and relationships. It builds trust, helps understand the other person’s needs, and facilitates problem-solving, whether in a business deal or a romantic relationship.
How does the speaker explain the connection between self-love and business success?
-The speaker explains that self-love is important because it gives individuals the confidence to engage with clients and partners effectively. In both personal and business relationships, taking care of oneself is key to being able to offer value to others.
What is the speaker's message about closing deals in sales?
-The speaker emphasizes that closing deals should be a natural progression if trust and rapport have been built throughout the sales process. Pushing too hard for a deal can kill trust, and clients need to feel they are in control, similar to a mutual agreement in a relationship.
Outlines
🤝 The Meeting: Sally and Harry’s First Encounter
Sally, new to town and working as a marketing communications director, attended a networking event. Nervous and slightly late, she engaged in conversation with Harry, who spotted her and invited her into his group. After a pleasant conversation, Harry circulated among other guests but later returned to suggest a coffee meeting. Sally countered with a wine date, which went well, leading to an elbow touch and a good feeling from Sally. This was not the start of a romantic affair but a sales interaction where Harry built trust, a key component in sales.
💼 Trust and Love in Business and Sales
The script draws parallels between love and business, specifically sales. Love in business is exemplified by Kevin Roberts' book *Lovemarks*, which emphasizes creating emotional connections with brands like Apple. Harry's approach with Sally illustrates this emotional connection, as trust is fundamental in sales. The script also delves into interpersonal sales dynamics, highlighting how customers want to feel loved, not just wooed for a sale. Trust forms the core of successful relationships in both romance and business, according to the speaker’s experiences in a sales training workshop.
🎭 The Theatrics of Sales and Romance
The speaker humorously connects sales techniques with romance, noting how effective sales strategies can translate into relationship dynamics. They recount a sales workshop where probing difficult questions was likened to intimate conversations in romantic relationships. The connection between love and business became a running joke in the workshop, solidifying the parallel. The speaker suggests that sparking interest, asking questions, and solving problems are key both in sales and in dating. Personal experiences after a divorce further underscored this parallel, as they navigated the dating scene while reflecting on the crossover between sales tools and romance.
❤️ Building Strong Relationships in Sales and Life
The speaker discusses how midlife crises and personal growth impact both romantic relationships and business partnerships. They emphasize the importance of self-love and self-care, drawing on Eastern philosophy and personal experiences to explain that healthy relationships require partners to be whole and strong. This applies to business partnerships as well, where both parties must bring value and respect to the table. The concept of the 'me marriage,' where strong partnerships allow individuality, is highlighted as a key factor in successful romantic and business relationships.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Trust
💡Emotional Connection
💡Love Marks
💡Sales as a Love Affair
💡Listening
💡Self-Love
💡Midlife Crisis
💡Simplicity
💡Questions
💡Closing the Deal
Highlights
Sally met Harry at a networking event, marking the beginning of a professional relationship.
Harry skillfully introduced Sally to his group, initiating a conversation and building rapport.
Sally and Harry's meeting led to a productive wine date, demonstrating effective follow-up in networking.
The narrative highlights how building trust is fundamental in sales and professional relationships.
Kevin Roberts, CEO of Saatchi & Saatchi, discusses 'lovemarks' and the emotional connection brands can create.
The concept of 'lovemarks' is exemplified by the strong brand loyalty and emotional attachment to Apple.
Building trust in sales is compared to a love affair, emphasizing the importance of genuine connections.
In a sales training workshop, participants learned the importance of probing and asking difficult questions.
Humor and role-playing in the workshop helped reinforce the analogy between sales and romantic relationships.
The speaker discusses the personal journey of self-improvement and how it parallels professional development.
Forgiveness and self-love are highlighted as crucial for both personal growth and successful relationships.
David Deida's writings on masculinity and relationships stress the importance of maintaining one's mission and purpose.
The narrative explores the historical context of sailors' missions, drawing a parallel to modern professional commitments.
Emotional connections are crucial in the early stages of both sales and relationships.
The importance of listening and asking good questions is emphasized as key to building trust in sales.
Closing a deal successfully involves ensuring all earlier stages of the sale have been handled satisfactorily.
The analogy between not asking for a kiss and closing a sale without being pushy is highlighted.
Self-love, confidence, and giving love are identified as essential traits for successful salespeople.
Transcripts
[Music]
[Applause]
Sally met Harry at a networking event
and Harry made a very good first
impression but don't they all Sally had
was new to town she had taken a job as
marketing communications director at an
international firm her first month or
two were very manic very busy and at one
point she knew she had to get out there
and meet people in the community so she
showed up at the networking event a
little bit
late and everyone was already talking
and her nerves were up a little bit so
she bought some time by hanging up her
coat then she went to the bar and got a
glass of chardonnay and when she turned
around there she was alone in a room
full of people already engaged in
speaking Harry spotted her and he
invited her into his group and he
introduced her to everybody and they
started a
conversation very good conversation
about 10 minutes or so at which point
Harry invited another person into the
group and introduced her to Sally then
he moved on to another group and started
circulating Sally kept her eye on Harry
throughout the evening and she was in
fact hoping that Harry would Circle back
before the end of the evening and sure
enough as the crowd started thinning out
Harry came back to her and he said you
know I've been thinking about something
we were talking about what do you think
about a cup of coffee near your office
on Thursday afternoon and Sally said
what about a glass of wine in town
Thursday
evening well the wine date went very
well and in fact when it was over they
were on the sidewalk in front of the
restaurant and the last thing that
happened was Sally touched Harry's elbow
and said I've got a really good feeling
about this and she dashed off to catch
her train out to the suburbs to her
husband and
kids No this was not the beginning of a
romantic Affair this was the beginning
of a sale and Harry had done everything
right Harry was selling with love
already the primary fundamentals of a
sale is trust and he build it by
sparking interest and then engaging
Sally in something that she felt that
she
needed love in business is not a New
Concept Kevin Roberts CEO of Sachi and
Sachi worldwide wrote a book called love
marks and in it he said when a brand is
so powerful that it creates an emotional
connection in our heart hearts that is a
love Mark apple is a love Mark for many
people the users of Apple not only love
the brand they spread the love in fact
some people actually don't like apple
but that's okay by Apple just look at
their sales and look at their brand
strength getting people to love you is
not a dishonest objective in
business to fall in love with
me the problem is when you pick me up
you whine me you dine me and you sleep
with
me will you call me
afterwards in sales it's even more face
to face it's even more interpersonal
than brand resonance in people's heart
it's behavioral it's mono Amano it's
face to face and customers know you want
to get them to love you you but what
they really want is for you to love them
because love is part of building trust
and trust is the biggest element in a
sale the idea for a sale as a love
affair actually happened in a sales
training Workshop that I was leading and
it's a trainer's goal not just to bring
new skills to your participants but to
embed them so that they use use them
afterwards one of that concept is to
make it
memorable so that they use it
immediately after so in the workshop
very senior salespeople and we were
trying to build the concept of you are
the trusted
advisor and we were working on an
exercise of what do you do when the
client starts to stall when they're not
communicating clearly what do you do and
the solution that the participants came
to was you need to probe you need to ask
those difficult questions I'm sensing
something's not working here is there
something that I should know that I can
help you are you facing any obstacles
internally what do I need to know to
help
you now my mom said I should have gone
to theater school and I should have been
an actor okay because I always go into
these onea plays and in the workshop I
then put on my best American accent and
I said well it's like love you're not
talking to me honey we're not
communicating baby I got to know is
something wrong talk to me baby tell me
what's going on and that got a good
laugh with the crowd and what happened
was it actually morphed into our joke
for the rest of the two-day workshop we
always came back to the link between
love finding love and finding clients
and keeping love and customer service it
was to the point that the women in the
group also liked it and one woman
salesperson actually at one point said
when we were talking about closing the
deal she said hey I don't have patience
for that I say baby we've danced we've
had drinks you coming back to my place
or
not so it was catching it was and after
that the idea stuck with me and I
couldn't get it out of my head now
conversely sales tools actually work in
Romance and some people say oh that's
crass that's so commercial using sales
skills to find romance to which I say
what is so crass about sparking interest
asking questions
listening solving problems together well
that's what good salespeople do and it's
my believe that that's what good
partners do as well and it actually
happened the book idea actually happened
in a period in my life of which I had
divorced and yes I was out there in the
dating Market but it's not just about me
because there is a lot of people
divorcing and there are a lot of people
out in the dating market and we're kind
of like especially at my age we're one
big coaching family coach and be coached
and what I was Finding was that all of
these things actually work in Romance 2
The Parallel between finding love is
similar to a complex sale and we know
how complex relationships are and
keeping love is like customer
service
now at my age and before about 10 years
ago men hit the wall at some point and
they go oh my God whether they lose a
job they lose a family member something
Sparks in them that they say what is my
life purpose what am I doing here where
am I going women tend to make these
little corrections as they go men have
this thing called midlife crisis that we
don't like to talk about it and it's
kind of like my mom's and dad's
generation midlife crisis so if anybody
talks to me about the break at the break
about midlife crisis no please don't
okay okay but it is something that does
happen to all of us and about 10 years
ago I hit that wall and I did a lot of
searching and I got into a lot of
spirituality and Eastern philosophy and
things and one of the first Concepts
when you're doing spirituality is
working on yourself it's not about just
meditating and saying wow good feeling
it's about there are some things that I
need to work on forgiveness of myself
before I can really learn how to forgive
others selflove and the heart feeds
itself first in a healthy relationship
the heart not only distributes blood to
the rest of the body it needs blood it's
a muscle it's an organ that needs
blood the brain doesn't mind that the
heart takes its commission up
front because if the if the heart had to
wait 120 days for the invoice to get
paid everything would die and the Brain
knows that the liver knows that the
muscles know that the heart feeds itself
first so in a healthy relationship take
care of yourself I work with a lot of
people who say especially entrepreneurs
and startups I'm uncomfortable taking
money off of people but they want to
make their business run in all of this
coaching of love and romance people say
you know I just feel like I'm a pervert
I I but but I want a relationship yeah I
want sex but I want it wrapped up in a
human relationship there's nothing wrong
with that you're whole you're good
there's nothing wrong with trying to
build business Partnerships in which
both parties add value to each other yes
you need money to run your new company
but you're a partner in a business
relationship you're bringing value help
that customer find that you're good
you're whole be in love with yourself
it's okay clients respect that as much
as romantic Partners the New York Times
had an article about 10 years ago about
five years ago called the me marriage is
the happy
marriage strong Partnerships require
strong Partners baby I love you and one
of the things I love about you is that
you let me be
me that is a a strong relationship that
is not a toxic relationship and from
that comes trust love builds
trust Shakespeare was on to something
and I think if he was a marketing
director today it would be called your
unique selling point your USP your
competitive
Advantage David data is a writer of
masculinity and spirituality
and sex and
relationships David data writes things
about how to be whole with yourself and
how to live happily in a partnership and
get the things that you need one of the
takeaways that I get from David D's
writings is your mission is
important your purpose in life is
important your
relationship should support that not get
in the way of that because if it is if
it does you will regret it later and the
relationship will become toxic clients
feel the same way now back in the times
when sailors would go off to Sea and the
town would come down to the harbor and
the women would be saying don't go don't
go you may die in the ocean and
perish those Sailors who said I have to
defend the Homeland or I have to trade
econom Al to bring business to our
community it's my mission I have to
go they knew that they may die at War
they may crash in a storm they may get
drunk and puke overboard and fall into
the
water but those that came home were
loved by the community and by their
women and those who stayed were peeling
potatoes to thine own self be true and
it shall follow as the light follow the
darkness that thou shalt not be false to
any other now early in a sale it's
incumbent to take my breath away it's
very emotional early in a sale emotions
sell after that things get complicated
and things get more rational but early
in the sale there needs to be something
for me to go wow I think we need these
people wow and it's like a love affair
early in a sale emotions are only
provoked through
Simplicity lion walks out of the brush
and looks at you and says lunch you know
you've got a problem you're not thinking
should we refinance the
house you've got one thing and that's
very compelling in a sale as rational as
business can be in a sale go for
something that's going to inspire them
Simplicity you might lose it later in
the deal but but if you don't grab them
early you're not going to progress
anyway it's like a relationship Take My
Breath Away there was something about
the way she looked at me at the school
concert and then I learned she was
divorced Take My Breath
Away you're opening a relationship
you're not closing a sale who has loved
who has not Loved At First Sight
Shakespeare again now the purpose of
opening is to get that emotional
connection but then the earn the right
to ask
questions asking good questions and
listening is one of the most underrated
trust
Builders at different stages of the sale
there may be different questions you
should ask but listening builds trust
well how do you do it by asking good
questions prompting for the concerns
handling the objections and Building
Solutions together they say in
relationships that women need to be
listened to men need to feel important
and in business everyone wants to be
understood listening is the most
underrated
skill now closing a deal is easy if
everything has gone well I was once
working with a London media firm and
early on in our assignment we were
briefing being briefed by the CE o and
the CMO the chief marketing officer and
you could feel the testosterone in the
room as they said and they lowered their
voice and they said we need closers our
salespeople need to close and when we
started talking to the salespeople we
went back to the CEO and CMO two weeks
later and said your people are sale are
closers they know how to ask for the
deal the problem is things happening
earlier in the deal are not satisfactory
and by asking and pushing too hard for
the deal pushiness kills
trust the buyer wants to feel in control
too and by you saying do you want it in
green or do you want it in red how many
should we put in if they're not ready
for it it's not going to
happen I will never forget my closing
line that was
yin-yang my most memorable clo that I
ever did in a
sale was
this that was
it the buyer was showing all of the
signals you could see the wheels turning
the body language and all the signals
were
yeah there wasn't anything more I could
say to get that person to to buy and she
looked at me at me and she said Jack
let's do this I imagine you're going to
send me a contract track as the next
step now if any of you have seen the
movie Hitch the love doctor in which
Will Smith is coaching some pretty
pathetic guys when it comes to handling
relationships at one point he says you
don't ask a woman if you can kiss her
just kiss her and the guy said really is
that all it is and he goes well it's a
little more subtle than
that move 90% of the way put yourself in
a position to be kissed
but let her lean 10% into it because she
wants to feel in control
too the best salespeople in any industry
are loved by their clients they have
self-love they have confidence they give
love they ask good questions they listen
and they build Solutions together
doesn't that work in Romance too it's
all about TR trust and it's all about
understanding Harry did everything right
that evening he did everything right at
the wine bar and he actually did
everything right when Sally introduced
him to his
managers he also found love this way we
know that the more you give the more you
get in Romance and in
sales poets have written about it
songwriters sing about it artists of all
type this is the human condition that
love conquers
all
浏览更多相关视频
Overcome Your Fear of Sales—Reframe "Sell" To "Help"
The Science of Love | John Gottman | TEDxVeniceBeach
The Speed of Trust Best Audiobook Summary By Stephen Covey
ステップメールの基礎は信頼関係だよ
love and trust 5 Reasons Why Trust Is More Important Than Love in relationships | animated
Strategies for Customer Retention, Customer Loyalty, and Repeat Sales | Brian Tracy
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)