This Mistake Teaches Your Toddler To Ignore You…

Summary

This video explains how parents may unintentionally teach their toddlers to ignore requests until voices are raised. It offers practical tips to improve listening, such as giving instructions with full attention, using short, clear commands, and setting immediate consequences if requests are not followed. The video emphasizes consistency, avoiding phrasing requests as questions, and modeling behavior. By following these steps, parents can reduce the need for yelling, promote better behavior, and create a more peaceful household. The video also includes advice on reducing toddler tantrums.

Takeaways

• 😀 Toddlers may learn to ignore parents if they only respond after parents raise their voice multiple times.
• 🧐 To encourage toddlers to listen the first time, ensure there is a consequence if they don’t follow instructions right away.
• 🙌 Parents should give their full attention when giving instructions and avoid doing so when distracted.
• 👀 It's important to make sure the toddler is fully present and paying attention by turning off distractions or taking away toys.
• 🗣️ Keep instructions short and direct, telling the toddler what to do instead of what not to do.
• ❓ Avoid phrasing requests as questions, which might give the toddler the impression they have an option to say no.
• 🎮 Giving toddlers a sense of control by explaining what will happen next helps improve cooperation.
• 🏁 Follow an undesired task with a desirable one to motivate toddlers, like promising playtime after cleaning up.
• ⏳ Give toddlers time to process instructions and respond, and model the desired behavior if needed.
• ⚠️ Be consistent with consequences when toddlers don’t follow through with instructions to build trust and discipline.

Q & A

Why do toddlers often not listen the first time they are asked to do something?

Toddlers may not listen the first time because they have learned that they don't need to respond until their parent raises their voice or repeats the request multiple times. This pattern unintentionally teaches them to ignore initial requests.

What is the first step to getting toddlers to listen the first time?

The first step is to implement a consequence if the toddler does not listen the first time, rather than waiting until after multiple requests. This helps toddlers understand that they need to respond immediately.

Why is it important for parents to give their full attention when asking toddlers to do something?

Giving full attention ensures that the parent can follow through with consequences if the toddler doesn't listen. If the parent is distracted, they may miss the opportunity to enforce these consequences, reinforcing the toddler's non-compliance.

How can parents ensure they have their toddler's full attention before giving instructions?

Parents should turn off distractions like devices or remove toys and crouch down to the toddler's eye level to make sure they are fully engaged and ready to listen.

What is the benefit of telling toddlers what to do rather than what not to do?

Toddlers respond better when given positive instructions on what they should do, as it’s clearer and more constructive. For example, saying 'Please put your toy back on the shelf' works better than 'Don’t touch that!'

Why should instructions not be phrased as questions when dealing with toddlers?

Phrasing instructions as questions gives toddlers the impression they have a choice, which can lead to resistance. For example, saying 'It's time to get in the car' is more effective than asking, 'Do you want to go for a car ride?'

How can parents give toddlers a sense of control during daily tasks?

Parents can give toddlers a sense of control by telling them what to expect next and by pairing undesirable tasks with activities they enjoy. For example, 'First, pack up your toys, then we can go to the park.'

What should parents do if their toddler doesn't respond after a request?

Parents should give their toddler time to process the request and wait nearby. If the child still doesn’t respond, modeling the desired behavior can help clarify expectations.

What should parents do if modeling the behavior still doesn’t lead to a response?

If modeling doesn’t work, parents should calmly explain the consequences of not following instructions and follow through promptly. For example, if a child throws toys after being told not to, the toys should be taken away.

How can consistency help in reducing the need to yell at toddlers?

Consistency in following through with consequences teaches toddlers that their parents mean what they say. Over time, this reduces the need to raise voices or repeat requests, leading to a more harmonious environment.