Alone, Together: How Technology Separates Us | Henry Williams | TEDxTheMastersSchool

Summary

Henry discusses the paradox of 'being alone together' in the digital age, where smartphones and social media, while connecting us, also contribute to a sense of loneliness. He explores how technology exploits human psychology, leading to a rise in mental health issues among teens. Henry challenges the audience to look up from their devices and seek genuine human connection instead.

Takeaways

• 🤳 We are increasingly choosing to be 'alone together', using technology to escape awkward social situations.
• 📱 Technology exploits our basic human psychology, providing instant gratification and recognition through likes and followers.
• 🧠 Our brains evolved for social recognition, and modern technology provides a new avenue for this need.
• 🌐 The internet offers a vast array of subcultures, which can both connect and isolate us.
• 🦍 The 'Dunbar number' suggests we can maintain about 150 stable relationships, yet technology allows us to far exceed this.
• 📈 There's a correlation between increased screen time and rising rates of teen depression and suicide.
• 📱 Constant connectivity through smartphones may be contributing to a decline in real-world social skills.
• 🌟 Subcultures can provide a sense of belonging but also lead to a disconnection from mainstream society.
• 🔮 Technology is evolving to understand us better, with developments like digital therapists showing promise.
• 🌱 The speaker encourages looking up from our phones to connect with the people around us for genuine human interaction.

Q & A

What does Henry mean by 'alone together'?

Henry refers to 'alone together' as a state where people are physically close but mentally and emotionally distant due to their focus on their smartphones and other digital devices.

What is the main concern Henry raises about technology's impact on human nature?

Henry's main concern is that technology, particularly smartphones and social media, exploits our basic human psychology, leading to a form of loneliness where we seek connection through digital means but end up feeling more isolated.

Why does Henry mention Socrates' view on written words?

Henry mentions Socrates to illustrate that technology, in any form, has always had critics who warn of its potential to change human behavior and that resistance to technological change is often futile.

What is the 'Dunbar number' and how does it relate to social media?

The 'Dunbar number' is a theoretical cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships, which is around 150. In the context of social media, Henry points out that the digital world allows us to connect with far more than 150 people, overwhelming our primate brains designed for smaller social groups.

How does Henry describe the role of subcultures in modern society?

Henry describes subcultures as a way for individuals to find a niche and cope with the complexity of modern life. They provide a sense of belonging and recognition, but can also lead to isolation from the broader social world.

What impact has the rise of smartphones had on teenagers' mental health according to the script?

The script suggests that the rise of smartphones has coincided with a significant increase in rates of teen depression and suicide, indicating a negative impact on mental health.

What is the correlation between social media usage and depression mentioned in the script?

The script states that there is a direct correlation between time spent on social media and symptoms of depression, with teens who spend more time on electronic devices being more likely to have risk factors for suicide.

What is Henry's view on the potential solutions to the problems caused by technology?

Instead of suggesting a complete abandonment of technology, Henry believes in optimism and adaptation. He thinks technology is changing in ways that can better understand and cater to our emotional needs.

What is the 'wobot' program mentioned in the script and how does it help?

The 'wobot' program is a digital therapist designed for use in messaging clients. It has shown advances in improving mood and diagnosing depression, representing a positive use of technology in mental health.

What challenge does Henry issue to the audience at the end of the script?

Henry challenges the audience to look up from their phones and seek human connection in their surroundings instead of finding solace in their digital devices.

Outlines

00:00

📱 Technology and Human Connection

Henry begins by questioning how much time we spend truly alone versus being 'alone together,' where we are physically present but mentally elsewhere due to technology. He discusses how our devices exploit our need for social acceptance and acknowledges our guilt in being constantly connected. Henry references Socrates' concern about written words making people lazy and forgetful, suggesting that technology shapes us. He points out that we often don't understand the technology we rely on and that it can control us. He also discusses how technology exploits our basic human psychology, providing quick social recognition through likes and followers, which can be addictive. Henry references 'Sapiens' by Yuval Noah Harari, explaining how our brains evolved for social recognition and how technology plays into that.

05:03

🌐 Subcultures and Mental Health

In the second paragraph, Henry talks about subcultures as a way to cope with the modern world, using his own experience with gaming as an example. He explains how these communities can be both nurturing and isolating. He discusses the impact of technology on his generation, noting the rise in teen depression and suicide rates coinciding with smartphone usage. Henry points out that despite having many online friends, teens are less likely to engage in real-world activities and are more prone to mental health issues. He suggests that the constant connection to digital niches is affecting the development of social skills and interpersonal relationships in adolescents.

10:03

🤖 Future of Technology and Human Understanding

In the final paragraph, Henry discusses the potential for technology to evolve and better understand human emotions, using 'Wobot' as an example of a digital therapist. He expresses optimism that as technology adapts to us, it can help us cope with the complexity of modern life. He challenges the audience to look up from their phones and connect with the people around them, emphasizing that true human connection is not found in our devices but in each other. Henry concludes by encouraging self-reflection and understanding of why social technology appeals to us and the importance of human interaction.

Keywords

💡Alone Together

The term 'Alone Together' refers to the phenomenon where individuals are physically in the same space but are mentally and emotionally disconnected due to their focus on personal devices like smartphones. In the video, it is discussed as a modern form of loneliness where people are together but not truly present with each other, often due to their engagement with digital devices, leading to a perversion of human nature and a desire for togetherness that paradoxically pushes people apart.

💡Digital Psychology

Digital Psychology is an emerging field that explores the interaction between psychology and technology, particularly how digital devices and platforms can influence human behavior and mental health. In the context of the video, it is mentioned in relation to how technology is adapting to understand human emotions better and provide personalized experiences that can potentially improve mental well-being, such as through digital therapists like Wobot.

💡Social Media

Social Media refers to platforms and applications that enable users to create and share content or participate in social networking. In the video, social media is highlighted as a tool that can provide a sense of recognition and social capital through likes, followers, and views, but it also contributes to the problem of 'Alone Together' by encouraging excessive online interaction at the expense of real-world social skills.

💡Human Nature

Human Nature encompasses the characteristics, feelings, and behaviors that are typically attributed to humans and considered inherent. The video discusses how technology exploits our basic human psychology, such as the need for social recognition and acceptance, leading to behaviors that are at odds with our innate desire for genuine social interaction.

💡Dunbar Number

The Dunbar Number, approximately 150, is the cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships. In the video, it is used to illustrate the challenge of navigating the vast social networks made possible by digital technology, which can overwhelm our primate brains not evolved to handle such extensive social circles.

💡Subcultures

Subcultures are groups within a larger culture that have distinct interests, behaviors, and shared experiences that set them apart. The video discusses how subcultures, facilitated by the internet, can provide a sense of belonging and acceptance but can also lead to isolation from mainstream society and real-world social interactions.

💡Mental Health Crisis

A Mental Health Crisis refers to a period of widespread mental health issues within a population. The video suggests that the excessive use of technology, particularly among teens, is contributing to a significant rise in depression and suicidal tendencies, marking a potential mental health crisis.

💡Technology Adaptation

Technology Adaptation is the process by which technology evolves to better suit human needs and behaviors. In the video, it is mentioned that as we adapt to our technology, it is also adapting to us, with devices becoming more attuned to our emotions and habits, potentially leading to more positive and supportive digital experiences.

💡Recognition

Recognition, in the context of the video, refers to the social validation and acknowledgment that individuals seek. It is discussed as a fundamental human need that is being met, albeit in potentially unhealthy ways, through digital platforms that offer quantifiable social capital such as likes and followers.

💡Human-Technology Relationship

The Human-Technology Relationship refers to the dynamic interaction between humans and the technology they use. The video explores how this relationship is changing, with technology becoming more personalized and responsive to human needs, while also highlighting the challenges of balancing technology use with real-world social interactions.

💡Digital Therapist

A Digital Therapist is a form of artificial intelligence designed to provide therapeutic support through digital platforms. In the video, the example of Wobot is given, which is a program that has shown significant progress in improving mood and diagnosing depression, illustrating the potential for technology to positively impact mental health.

Highlights

The concept of 'alone together', where people are physically close but mentally distant due to technology.

The world is designed to exploit our need for acceptance and acknowledgement.

Smartphones and the internet provide constant distraction, preventing us from enduring boredom.

Technology shapes us and can control us if we don't understand how it works.

Early humans evolved to crave social recognition, which modern technology exploits.

Smartphones and social media offer addictive chunks of recognition.

The Dunbar number suggests humans can maintain about 150 stable relationships.

The internet provides an overwhelming amount of information and social connections.

Subcultures on the internet can both nurture and isolate individuals.

The impact of technology on mental health, with increased rates of depression and suicide among teens.

The decrease in real-world social interactions among teens due to technology.

The correlation between time spent on social media and symptoms of depression.

The potential long-term effects of growing up with technology on social skills.

The idea that technology is adapting to us and could act more like digital psychologists.

The potential for technology to improve mood and diagnose depression.

The challenge to look up from our phones and engage with the people around us.

The call to understand why social technology appeals to us as humans.

Transcripts

hi I'm Henry and I want to ask you how

much of your time do you

alone I'm not just talking about when

you're by yourself I also want to know

how much time you spend surrounded by

others eyes glued to your phones your

focus somewhere else I'm talking about

when you find yourselves alone together

maybe there was a lull in the

conversation maybe an awkward silence or

you got a text you just couldn't ignore

well we're all a little guilty after all

this is a world designed to exploit our

humanity our need to be accepted and

acknowledged today we never have to

endure boredom so long as we carry our

little magic mirrors everywhere we go to

be alone together is to find a little

niche apart from the world physically

separated by inches but operating in

internal spaces miles away it's a

different kind of loneliness perversion

of our human nature where our desire for

togetherness pushes us further and

further apart technology has a tendency

of shaping us no matter what we try to

do to hold it back in ancient Athens a

common saying of Socrates was that the

written word would make humanity lazy

and forgetful somehow that approach

didn't quite work for him since I got

that anecdote from the book so I'm not

gonna tell you to throw out your phones

or even to turn them off instead I want

to talk about the world we find

ourselves with and the ways that our

relationship with technology is changing

even today but I have to warn you it

gets worse before it gets better

so what exactly is the problem with

smart phones social media and the

internet after all they allow us to talk

across massive distances find people who

share our interests and access the sum

of human knowledge in our pockets it's

easy enough to say that they distract us

from the real world but so do TVs movie

and in Socrates view books the real

problem with our technology today is

that it is so very good at exploiting

our basic human psychology

how much do you understand that the

devices you see every day not much right

well

you're not alone we live in a society

made up of people who could not design

build repair or even operate most of the

devices upon which their lives depend in

this vastly complex world we are unable

to offer a satisfactory explanation for

the many human-made phenomena we see

every day this is why our technology can

control us instead of us controlling it

the magic qualities of the digital world

leave us in the passenger seat clinging

to the little social media walls and

websites that we do understand in the

book sapiens by Yuval Noah Harare he

explains that early humans evolved to

work in groups to measure their status

against other individuals and to crave

social recognition and capital these are

the ways our brains find a place for us

in society and roles to play in the many

relationships that make up our lives in

the modern world however there are

multiple overlapping hierarchies of

status money fame education worldliness

and more this overabundance of Status

markers and hierarchies in our lives is

difficult to navigate and this is where

our technology is so enticing

smartphones and social media provide

bite-sized addictive chunks of

recognition in the form of points like

streaks followers views and more they

give us quantifiable numbers on which to

compare ourselves and a constant stream

of buzzing flashing colorful reminders

that we are recognized by those around

us by the way you can follow me on

social media after this performance

in the 1990s at British anthropologist

Robin Dunbar discovered a correlation

between primate brain size and average

social group size by extrapolating he

found that humans can comfortably

maintain about 150 stable relationships

the so-called Dunbar number and this

increasingly digitized an urbanized

world we all have access to a massive

social circle way larger than the 150 we

could ever fully understand and the

Internet is an overwhelming firehose

more than 40 hours of video is posted on

YouTube every minute this reach havoc on

our primate brains but in another way

the internet also provides the answer in

the form of the endless subcultures

groups and communities for interest

ranging from Roman literature to memes

about alpacas I know personally I'm a

member of one such group weaving a

culture and joining a subculture is a

way for the monkey mind to cope with the

modern world these subcultures can both

nurture and isolates when I was in

Middle School I was a confused and nerdy

kid okay I'm still a little confused and

a lot nerdy but back then I'd get home

at 3:00 and play video games until late

into the night I played with strangers

from strange lands most of whom I'd

never met in person of all ages and

backgrounds some of whom didn't even

speak my language we forged on behind

our separate screens because we had a

shared love of an online world öktem was

23 I hope you're watching this

in a in a difficult shifting middle

school social world that was my lifeline

my island in a massive ocean of people

uh

in a massive ocean of people but even as

that community became like a second

family to me

I found myself drifting away from the

real world less able to cope with change

and more anxious about human interaction

this world of subcultures has had its

largest impact on those who've grown up

with it my generation the devices that

have been placed in our hand from an

early age have had a serious I have a

huge effect on their lives and it's

making us seriously unhappy according to

researcher Jeanne twins rates of teen

depression and suicide have skyrocketed

since 2011 the same year that rates of

Americans with smartphones crossed 50%

it's not an exaggeration to say that my

generation is on the brink of one of the

worst mental health crises in decades

and much of this deterioration can be

traced to our phones teens today are

less likely to work date take risks go

out or spend time with friends and

family the shift is stunning today's

12th graders go out less often than

eighth graders do and the number of

teams who say they regularly go out with

their friends has decreased by 40% since

2000 this shift has had a major effect

on psyche according to the National

Institute on Drug Abuse there is a

direct correlation between time spent on

social media and symptoms of depression

and teens who spend 3 hours or more per

day on electronic devices are 35% more

likely to have a risk factor for suicide

the irony is that this sadness comes

most often from the most social people

the ones with throngs of online friends

and digital followers who are therefore

pushed to spend more and more time on

social media worst of all we can't know

what the long-term effects of growing up

like this will be

adolescence is a key time for the

development of social skills and

interpersonal relationships something

were often seriously lacking when tied

to a digital niche so maybe you think

I'm gonna tell you the solution is to

forego our technology civilization and

maybe even agriculture altogether and

return to humanity's roots in hunting

and gathering well I'm not gonna say

that I like binging Netflix a little too

much to give it up also eating the

example of Socrates proves that

crusading against change is unlikely to

change anything instead I think there

are reasons to be optimistic and ways

that our relationship to technology is

changing in the words of technology

writer guan society looked at

objectively has a lot of downsides if

someone really finds a place in their

subculture which gives them mental ease

and physical health what right do the

rest of us have to interfere and drag

them into the main culture in this way

subcultures better provide a space for

kids like me with the specific niche

interests people who find places of

acceptance and love outside of the

social norm culture is by definition

vast and unspecialized culture can't

cater to individual interests but

subcultures can a world of subcultures

may actually help us cope with the

complexity we see in our day-to-day

lives just as we're adapting to our

technology it too is adapting to us the

devices of today can predict our

emotions from our words diagnose our

sleep habits from our movements and

bit-by-bit

technology is learning how we act online

when we feel alone the devices of the

future instead of crudely exploiting our

psychology are starting to act like

little digital psychologists asking us

how we feel and catering our digital

experience to enlighten and enliven us

instead of inspiring anxiety and

frustration for example a Stanford

researcher has

I created a program called wobot a

digital therapist for use in messaging

clients that has shown huge advances in

improving mood and diagnosing depression

and this is just the beginning

technology companies continue to advance

these approaches because they to know

that the status quo is unsustainable as

technology comes to understand us better

I hope that we humans will continue to

work on understanding ourselves I hope

that every one of you leaves this room

with a better understanding of why it is

that social technology so appeals to us

as humans and I want to challenge you

the next time you feel the need to look

down at your phone I want to challenge

you to look up instead at the people

around you or in the next room or

outside on the street the next time you

feel alone I want you to look for

another human being I know that what

you're looking for isn't found in your

pocket what you're looking for is inside

them and maybe it's inside you as well

thank you

you

[Applause]