Bowen Family Systems Therapy: Short Explanation by Dr Kirk Honda

Jerry Wise

26 Sept 201910:16

Summary

TLDRIn this podcast, Dr. Kirk Honda discusses the foundational concepts of Bowenian therapy, developed by family therapy pioneer Murray Bowen. Key themes include anxiety as a stressor, the balance between togetherness and separateness, emotional versus intellectual guidance systems, and differentiation of self. Dr. Honda explains how a higher level of differentiation can lead to better relationships and mental health. The therapy aims to help clients act more differentiatedly, reduce symptoms, and improve well-being by managing emotional reactivity and understanding family systems.

Takeaways

📚 Dr. Kirk Honda introduces the principles of Bowenian therapy, emphasizing its significance in his professional and personal life.
🔑 Anxiety is identified as a central concept, affecting thinking and reasoning, and often the root of many problems.
🤝 The concept of 'togetherness' versus 'separateness' is highlighted, indicating the human struggle to balance dependence and independence.
🧠 Bowenian theory posits two guidance systems: emotional and intellectual, suggesting effective decision-making requires balance between them.
🌟 Differentiation of Self is the cornerstone of Bowenian therapy, with high differentiation associated with better emotional management and healthier relationships.
👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Triangulation is explained as a mechanism where a third party is involved to reduce tension in a relationship, which can be either functional or dysfunctional.
👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Bowen believed that the triangle formed with one's parents is crucial and sets patterns for future relationships.
👨‍⚕️ Bowenian therapists aim to help clients act more differentiated to improve relationships and reduce symptoms.
👨‍🏫 The therapy involves teaching clients about emotional awareness, management, and the dynamics of family systems.
🔍 Critiques of Bowenian theory include its lack of cultural sensitivity, potential for imposing goals, and oversimplification of complex issues.

Q & A

What is Bowenian therapy?
-Bowenian therapy is a family therapy approach developed by Murray Bowen in the mid-20th century. It focuses on understanding how emotional tension and stress, referred to as 'anxiety,' move through family systems and how individuals can manage emotional reactivity through differentiation.
What are the two opposing forces Bowen identified in all relationships?
-Bowen identified the forces of togetherness and separateness. Togetherness drives us to seek connection and approval from others, while separateness pushes us to maintain independence and individuality.
What is differentiation according to Bowen?
-Differentiation is the ability to distinguish between one's emotional and intellectual guidance systems and to maintain one's sense of self while being in close relationships with others. Higher differentiation means less emotional reactivity and greater independence.
How does Bowenian therapy address anxiety?
-Bowenian therapy views anxiety as a key element that moves through family systems and affects individuals' thinking and behavior. The therapy helps individuals manage anxiety by improving their differentiation, which in turn reduces emotional reactivity and enhances thoughtful decision-making.
What is the concept of triangulation in Bowenian therapy?
-Triangulation occurs when two individuals in conflict bring in a third party to reduce the tension between them. Bowen believed that triangulation is a common way to manage relational stress, but it can perpetuate dysfunction if the third party becomes entangled in the issue.
How do Bowenian therapists use genograms?
-Bowenian therapists use genograms to map out family history and structure, assess each family member's differentiation level, and examine how anxiety and stress move through the family system. Genograms help therapists identify patterns and triangles within the family.
What critiques have been raised against Bowenian therapy?
-Critics argue that Bowenian therapy privileges independence over emotional connection, is culturally biased, overlooks the therapist's role within the system, and oversimplifies dysfunction by focusing on parental influence rather than seeing family dynamics as circular. Some also believe it doesn’t fully address trauma or include the entire family in treatment.
How do Bowenian therapists help clients improve their differentiation?
-Bowenian therapists work with clients to manage emotional reactivity, avoid getting drawn into dysfunctional triangles, and communicate needs more effectively. They teach clients how to be thoughtful and calm under stress and encourage them to develop more independent and self-soothing behaviors.
What is the role of the therapist's own differentiation in Bowenian therapy?
-Bowen believed that for a therapist to be effective, they must differentiate from their own family of origin. This involves remaining calm, non-defensive, and emotionally connected while not getting entangled in family dynamics. Therapists are encouraged to apply this differentiation process in their personal and professional lives.
What are the benefits of differentiation for individuals according to Bowen?
-Individuals with higher differentiation are less emotionally reactive, better able to manage stress, more thoughtful in decision-making, less dependent on others for approval, and less likely to repeat problematic relationship patterns. They also tend to have more fulfilling and balanced relationships.

Outlines

00:00

📚 Introduction to Bowenian Therapy

The video script introduces the topic of Bowenian therapy, named after Murray Bowen, a pioneer in family therapy. The host, Dr. Kirk Honda, shares his personal connection with Bowen's theory, which he first encountered in 1997. The main concepts of Bowenian therapy are outlined: anxiety as a source of emotional tension that impairs thinking, the balance between togetherness and separateness as opposing forces in life, the importance of differentiating between emotional and intellectual guidance systems, and the concept of differentiation itself, which is central to the theory. Differentiation is described as the ability to manage one's emotional and intellectual responses independently and to maintain individuality in relationships. The script also discusses the implications of differentiation levels on emotional reactivity, decision-making, and overall well-being. It mentions that people tend to marry and befriend others with similar levels of differentiation, suggesting that these levels are relatively stable throughout life.

05:00

🔍 Bowenian Therapy Concepts and Critiques

This section delves deeper into the concepts of Bowenian therapy, focusing on triangulation—the tendency for two people in conflict to involve a third party to reduce tension. The script differentiates between dysfunctional and functional triangles and emphasizes the importance of the triangle between an individual and their parents in shaping future relationships. The role of Bowenian therapists is explored, including their efforts to help clients act in a more differentiated manner to improve relationships and well-being. Therapists are described as teaching clients to manage stress thoughtfully, differentiate from their family of origin, and understand family systems. The script also touches on the structured and cerebral nature of Bowenian therapy sessions and the importance of therapists differentiating from their own families to be effective. Critiques of Bowenian theory are presented, including concerns from feminists, post-modernists, systemic purists, collaborative therapists, and trauma therapists, as well as critiques regarding cultural competency and the simplicity of the theory in light of contemporary neuroscience.

10:00

🏁 Conclusion and Invitation

The final paragraph of the script concludes the video by inviting viewers to visit the website 'psychology in Seattle' for more information and to engage with online continuing education courses. It serves as a closing remark, thanking the audience for their time and encouraging them to take care, thus ending the video on a positive and engaging note.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Anxiety

Anxiety, in the context of the video, is described as a general term for emotional tension or stress. It is portrayed as a force that can impair our ability to think and reason clearly. Dr. Kirk Honda explains that anxiety moves through a system, often from one person to another, and is a significant factor in many presenting problems. The concept is central to understanding how emotional stress can affect individuals and families.

💡Togetherness

Togetherness refers to the force that compels individuals to seek connection and approval from others. It is one of the two opposing forces, along with separateness, that all life possesses according to Murray Bowen's theory. The video suggests that striving for a balance between togetherness and separateness allows individuals to maintain close relationships without losing their sense of individuality.

💡Separateness

Separateness is the opposing force to togetherness, compelling individuals to be independent and maintain their own beliefs. It is crucial for maintaining individuality and not being overwhelmed by others. The video emphasizes the importance of balancing togetherness and separateness to achieve healthy relationships and personal identity.

💡Guidance Systems

The video discusses two inner guidance systems: the emotional guidance system and the intellectual guidance system. The emotional guidance system involves automatic reactions, instincts, and urges, while the intellectual system involves rational thought and reasoning. Bowen believed that accessing both systems is necessary for making functional decisions, which is a key concept in understanding how individuals navigate emotional and intellectual challenges.

💡Differentiation

Differentiation is a central concept in Bowen family systems theory and refers to the ability to differentiate between one's emotional guidance system and intellectual reasoning. It also involves differentiating oneself from others to maintain individuality while being intimate. People with high levels of differentiation are less emotionally reactive, can make thoughtful decisions, and are less prone to stress. The video uses this term to explain how individuals can achieve healthier relationships and emotional stability.

💡Triangulation

Triangulation is the process where two people experiencing relational tension involve a third party to alleviate that tension. The video provides examples such as a couple focusing on a child to avoid their marital issues or individuals discussing neutral topics to reduce nervousness. Bowen believed that triangles can be either dysfunctional, perpetuating problems, or functional, helping to resolve issues.

💡Fusion

Fusion, in the context of the video, refers to a state where individuals are undifferentiated and emotionally enmeshed with others, often leading to the symptom bearer in a family carrying the emotional burden. Dr. Honda mentions that most people maintain the level of differentiation they had when leaving home, which is rarely above 60, indicating a potential for fusion in relationships.

💡Symptom Bearer

The symptom bearer is the individual in a family system who exhibits the most visible signs of stress or dysfunction. According to Bowen's theory, this person often has the lowest level of differentiation. The video suggests that addressing the differentiation level of the symptom bearer can lead to improvements in the overall family system.

💡Family of Origin

Family of origin refers to the family in which a person is raised. The video emphasizes the importance of differentiating from one's family of origin to manage emotional reactivity and establish healthy relationships. Bowen believed that the triangle between an individual and their parents is the most crucial in determining future relational patterns.

💡Detriangulation

Detriangulation is the process of disengaging from the fixed triangles that perpetuate problems and stress within a family system. The video suggests that being highly differentiated, calm, and not taking sides can help in de-triangulating from dysfunctional triangles, which is a key strategy in Bowenian therapy.

💡Bowenian Therapy

Bowenian Therapy is the therapeutic approach based on Murray Bowen's family systems theory. The video describes how therapists using this approach aim to help clients act in a more differentiated manner, which is believed to lead to better relationships, reduced symptoms, and greater well-being. The approach involves teaching emotional management skills and coaching clients to differentiate from their family of origin.

Highlights

Murray Bowen was a pioneer of family therapy in the mid-20th century, and his theory continues to be taught and applied in modern therapy.

Bowen used the term 'anxiety' to describe emotional tension or stress, believing it moves through a system from one person to another, impairing reasoning and causing problems.

Bowen emphasized two opposing forces: togetherness (the need to connect with others) and separateness (the need for independence). He believed maintaining a balance between these forces is essential for healthy relationships.

Bowen proposed two internal guidance systems: the emotional (feeling) system and the intellectual (thinking) system. Differentiating between the two is key to making functional decisions.

Differentiation, Bowen's most famous concept, refers to the ability to separate one's own emotions from those of others while still maintaining close relationships. High differentiation leads to better decision-making and emotional stability.

People with high differentiation can remain calm in stressful situations, have healthier relationships, and are less prone to emotional reactivity and physical/social problems.

People with low differentiation struggle with emotional reactivity, are more prone to seeking approval, have more conflict in relationships, and often repeat problematic behavior patterns.

Bowen introduced the idea of a 'differentiation scale' from 1 to 100, with most people remaining at the level they had when they left home. Few people score above 60.

Bowen believed that relational tension leads people to form triangles, where a third party is involved to alleviate stress. Some triangles perpetuate dysfunction, while others help resolve it.

The most important triangle in life is the one between a person and their parents, which shapes future relationship patterns.

Bowenian therapists aim to increase differentiation, helping clients manage stress, avoid emotional reactivity, and communicate their needs effectively.

Bowenian therapy often focuses on working with the most differentiated family member and sometimes only involves the parents, even if the presenting issue is with the child.

Critiques of Bowenian therapy include concerns from feminists about the emphasis on independence, from systemic purists who argue it doesn't account for circular dynamics, and from trauma therapists for not sufficiently addressing trauma recovery.

Bowen's own experience differentiating from his family influenced his theory, and he encouraged therapists to do the same with their own families to improve their therapeutic effectiveness.

Despite its critiques, Bowenian theory provides valuable insights on relational dynamics, particularly in understanding family systems and emotional interactions.