What I learned after 5 years of Dating in Vietnam
Summary
TLDRThe speaker shares his insights on dating in Vietnam, highlighting cultural differences compared to Western norms. He notes that Vietnamese dating culture is more traditional, with less casual dating and a quicker progression to serious relationships due to societal and family pressures. Vietnamese women often prefer meeting partners through friends or colleagues rather than dating apps, which are less popular. The language barrier can limit deeper connections, but the speaker appreciates the feminine, caring nature of Vietnamese women. He suggests casual dates like street barbecues or hot pot for first dates, and warns of dating scams. In contrast to stereotypes, he finds most Vietnamese women are not gold diggers and value interesting conversations over material wealth.
Takeaways
- 💑 Relationships in Vietnam can progress quickly due to societal pressure on women to marry early, typically before 25.
- 🏡 Vietnamese women often live with their parents until marriage, even into their late 20s, which can influence dating dynamics.
- 💬 Casual dating and dating apps are less common in Vietnam compared to Western cultures; meeting through friends or colleagues is preferred.
- 👩❤️👨 Women in Vietnam tend to value real-life interactions over dating apps like Tinder, which is more associated with casual hookups.
- 🚩 There is a common scam on dating apps where women lure men to specific bars where they receive commissions.
- 🗣️ Language barriers can be a significant challenge in relationships, as conversational English may not always lead to deep connections.
- 👩🍳 Vietnamese women are generally more traditional, caring, and nurturing, often taking on roles like cooking, which may contrast with Western norms.
- ☕ First dates in Vietnam tend to be casual, often involving coffee or street food, rather than expensive dinners.
- 🎉 Dating in Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City) is more modern and Westernized compared to Hanoi, with a focus on nightlife and fancier dates.
- 💰 The stereotype of 'gold diggers' is mostly inaccurate, as many Vietnamese women do not place heavy importance on money or luxury experiences in relationships.
Q & A
How long has the speaker been dating his Vietnamese girlfriend?
-The speaker has been dating his Vietnamese girlfriend for more than 2 years.
What is the cultural difference in dating between Vietnam and Western countries?
-In Vietnam, dating tends to be more serious and less casual compared to Western countries where playing the field is more accepted.
What is the societal expectation for Vietnamese women regarding marriage?
-There is societal pressure for Vietnamese women to get married early, often by the age of 25, and to have children.
What is the term used in Vietnam for women who are single at the age of 30?
-The term used is 'a', which implies being unwanted or left over.
Why do Vietnamese women often want to introduce their partners to their parents early in the relationship?
-It is because they want their parents to approve of their partner early on to avoid wasting time on a relationship that may not be suitable.
Why might Vietnamese women prefer not to live with their parents after marriage?
-While the script does not explicitly state this preference, it does mention that women usually live with their parents until they are married, suggesting a cultural norm rather than a personal preference.
How common is it for Vietnamese women to use dating apps?
-It is not as common as in Western countries; Vietnamese women tend to prefer meeting partners through friends or work colleagues.
What is a common scam that foreigners might encounter on dating apps in Vietnam?
-A common scam involves a woman inviting a man to a specific bar where she works and earns commissions from the money spent there.
How might the language barrier affect dating in Vietnam?
-The language barrier can limit the depth of conversations and potentially the progression of a relationship if one party does not speak the other's language well.
What is considered a traditional Vietnamese feminine trait according to the speaker?
-Traditional Vietnamese femininity includes being soft, caring, and enjoying activities such as cooking for their partner.
What is the speaker's advice for a first date in Vietnam?
-The speaker recommends a casual date such as street barbecue or hot pot where the interaction is more relaxed and focused on conversation.
How does dating culture differ in Saigon compared to Northern Vietnam?
-In Saigon, dating culture is more modern with women potentially preferring fancy dinners and nightlife, unlike the more traditional dating culture in Northern Vietnam.
What is the speaker's opinion on the stereotype of Vietnamese women being gold diggers?
-The speaker refutes this stereotype, stating that most Vietnamese women are not primarily interested in money and are more satisfied with simple pleasures and good conversation.
Outlines
💑 Dating in Vietnam: Personal Experience
The author shares his personal experience of dating a Vietnamese girlfriend for over two years and reflects on the dating culture in Vietnam, particularly in the north. He highlights significant cultural differences between dating in Vietnam and Western countries, noting how relationships can progress quickly due to societal pressure for women to marry early, and how Vietnamese women may not date casually. These cultural expectations contrast with more casual dating norms in the West.
👨👩👧 Family Expectations and Fast-Track Relationships
In Vietnam, family plays a crucial role in relationships. Women often live with their parents until marriage and are expected to marry early. Family approval is vital, and women may invite men to meet their parents after only a few weeks of dating. Relationships can move quickly, and dating rules, such as curfews and restrictions on trips, are more traditional compared to Western norms. The pressure to marry can limit the longevity of relationships if both partners are not on the same page.
📱 Dating Apps vs. In-Person Connections
Unlike the West, dating apps like Tinder are less popular in Vietnam, where women prefer to meet potential partners through friends, colleagues, or chance encounters in public places. The author encourages men to approach women in real-life settings, such as coffee shops, without fear of being perceived as creepy. He also warns of a common scam on dating apps, where women might lure men to bars they are affiliated with for commissions. Cultural expectations dictate that men should suggest meeting locations, making this behavior a red flag.
💬 Language Barriers in Relationships
Language can be a barrier in cross-cultural dating. While some younger Vietnamese women speak good English, it can still be challenging to have deep, meaningful conversations if language skills are limited. The author shares his experiences of dating women who spoke little to no English, noting that while it can be fun at first, it becomes difficult to build a lasting relationship without effective communication.
👩🍳 Traditional Gender Roles and Care in Relationships
Vietnamese women are often seen as very feminine, caring, and nurturing. They enjoy cooking and taking care of their partners, which contrasts with the more progressive gender roles seen in Western societies. The author acknowledges that this might be viewed as old-fashioned in the West but is still very common in Vietnam. These traits are valued by Vietnamese women, reflecting more traditional relationship dynamics.
☕ Casual Dates and Group Outings
In Vietnam, dates tend to be more casual than in Western countries. Women may prefer meeting at a coffee shop or going on group outings with friends before transitioning to one-on-one dates. Popular activities include casual dining at street food stalls or interactive meals like barbecue or hot pot. The author suggests this as an ideal first date after a few casual meet-ups, highlighting the relaxed nature of dating in Vietnam.
🌆 Modern Dating in Saigon vs. Traditional Hanoi
The dating culture differs between regions in Vietnam. In the northern city of Hanoi, relationships are more traditional and conservative, whereas in the southern city of Saigon, dating is more modern, with women often enjoying fancy dinners and nightlife. The author expresses his preference for the traditional vibe in Hanoi but acknowledges that dating experiences can vary based on location and individual preferences.
💸 The Myth of 'Gold Diggers' in Vietnam
The author challenges the stereotype that Vietnamese women are only interested in foreign men for their money. He shares his experience of dating women in Vietnam who were not materialistic and were more focused on meaningful connections than wealth. Although there are rare exceptions, most women don't expect expensive dates or high-end lifestyles and are content with simple, enjoyable experiences. The author emphasizes that Vietnamese women value personality and conversation over material possessions.
🇻🇳 Final Thoughts on Dating in Vietnam
The author concludes by encouraging men to consider dating in Vietnam, noting that Vietnamese women are generally open to dating Western men and are interested in Western culture. He finds dating in Vietnam to be more approachable and less complicated than in Western countries, though he acknowledges that everyone's experience will differ. He wraps up by encouraging viewers to subscribe to his channel for more content.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Cultural Differences
💡Traditional Values
💡Societal Pressure
💡Casual Dating
💡Family Approval
💡Dating Apps
💡Language Barrier
💡Feminine Traits
💡Dating Norms in Saigon vs. Hanoi
💡Gold Digger Stereotype
Highlights
Dating in Vietnam is different from Western cultures due to cultural differences.
In Vietnam, dating tends to be more serious and less casual compared to the West.
Vietnamese women often prefer to get married early due to societal and family pressures.
The term 'a' is used for women who are single at age 30, indicating a societal norm.
Relationships in Vietnam can progress quickly, with early meetings with parents being common.
Vietnamese women often live with their parents until marriage, which can limit dating activities.
Vietnamese women tend to prefer meeting partners through friends or colleagues rather than dating apps.
Tinder and similar apps are more commonly used for hookups than serious relationships in Vietnam.
There's a common scam where women on dating apps invite men to specific bars for commissions.
Language barrier can be a challenge in developing deeper relationships.
Vietnamese women are traditionally feminine, caring, and enjoy taking care of their partners.
First dates in Vietnam are often casual, like meeting for coffee.
Group dates with friends are not uncommon in the early stages of dating.
In Saigon, dating culture is more modern, with a preference for fancy dinners and nightlife.
The stereotype of Vietnamese women being gold diggers is largely false.
Vietnamese women are generally interested in Western men and culture.
The speaker encourages Western men in Vietnam to give dating a try, as it can be more approachable than in Western countries.
Transcripts
what's dating like in Vietnam so I'm
really lucky I've been dating my
Vietnamese girlfriend now for more than
2 years but for about 3 years before
that there was a lot of dating happening
so I've got a lot of experience under my
belt people want to know so I thought
I'd share my experience should be a
juicy topic so let's get into it there's
definitely some interesting cultural
differences between dating in Vietnam
versus Western cultures now most of my
dating a few years ago was in Hanoi in
Northern Vietnam where the culture in
general is way more traditional than the
rest of the country so in Western
countries we tend to date casually
there's nothing wrong with playing the
field for a while dating a few different
options until you find someone that you
really click with but in Vietnam people
don't tend to date casually Vietnamese
women can get very attached and things
can get serious pretty quickly and this
is because there's a lot of societal
pressure and pressure from families for
women to get married early here so a lot
of women will prefer to be married and
have two kids by the age of 25 that's
the kind of societal Norm here they even
have a word for women that get to age 30
and they're single they call it a which
means like unwanted or left over it's
really frowned upon families will be
very judgmental and always be harassing
you saying you got to go out get a
husband what are you doing so one big
difference here is that relationships
can move very quickly even after just a
few weeks Sometimes women will want to
invite you over to their house to meet
their parents and this is because they
want their parents to meet you and
approve of you early on so they don't
end up wasting a bunch of Time dating
for you and then realize you're not a
good fit women will usually live with
their parents until they're married even
late into their 20s so I dated a girl
one time she was 29 years old lived with
her parents and her parents were very
strict so she had to be home by 10:00
every single night no sleepovers Allowed
no weekend trips traveling away with a
boy that was completely out of the
question so you can see how that would
limit a relationship from happening so
we got along great but after a couple
months it was like okay I'm not anywhere
close to getting married yet so this
just isn't going to work out another
difference is that Vietnamese women
don't really prefer to use dating apps
so it's catching up a bit now but but
still not nearly as much in Western
countries so Vietnamese women would
rather meet their partner through
friends or work colleagues you know kind
of like in the old days how we used to
do it and actually I think most women
would love to have anyone come up to
them at a coffee shop or a bar and just
start a conversation for example it's
not like in the Western countries now
where if you actually try to talk to
somebody in real life apparently you're
a creep so an app like Tinder that
everybody's used to it's mostly used Ed
for hookups and not really a serious
relationship so if you're just looking
for a hookup no judgment from me but if
you're looking for something serious I
think the best way to do it would be to
join local groups activities meetups
something like that try to meet people
out in public in real life just don't be
afraid to go up to somebody in a coffee
shop and start chatting so of course
everything that I'm talking about I'm
speaking very broadly very generally
here but this is just my experience one
thing to keep in mind when it comes to
apps there's a really common scam that
happens here all over the country where
a girl will match with you on some
dating app and they'll invite you to a
specific bar and so they end up working
for that bar they get commissions by
trying to bring people in to spend money
there so in general Vietnamese women
would never be so forward to even
suggest a place to go they would want
you to as the man to pick it so if that
ever happens it's definitely a flag and
just keep keep that in mind it's
happened to a lot of people especially
in Hanoi another thing to keep in mind
is the language barrier so you can meet
plenty of girls that have really good
English a lot of the younger generation
has really good conversational English
no problem but you might find that
someone speaks conversational English
fine but after a while you'll realize
that you can't get into really deep
conversations and this is actually going
to really limit the relationship on how
it progresses I had plenty of dates with
Vietnamese women that didn't speak a
word of English and it was really fun at
first for me to try really hard to speak
in Vietnamese only but after a date or
two you realize there's no chance to
make this work it's just too difficult
to communicate one point that might
sound a little backwards or negative
here but I mean it in the best way
possible Vietnamese women are very
feminine very soft very caring they love
to take care of you cook food for you
you things that in the west we might
consider outdated or too traditional I
know modern Western women don't want to
be associated with these kind of things
at all but here in Vietnam it's still
very much the case another tip for guys
that might consider dating Vietnamese
women in the west when you go on your
first date you're probably going to plan
something fancy you want to impress her
and take her out for an expensive dinner
right so in Vietnam dates can be much
more casual most girls would rather just
meet up for coffee and talk for the
first couple dates even even just
driving around parking by the beach a
river a lake something like that and
just having a conversation it's not
uncommon for a girl to invite you to go
out and drink and eat food with a couple
of her friends so you might end up
having to have a couple group dates
before you even get your one-on-one
dates so in general girls are going to
prefer casual dates you know just
something like drinking and eating
street food barbecue at a local joint
that would probably be my best
recommendation for like a first proper
date would be Street Barbecue where
you're grilling and cooking the meat at
your table or something like a low Hot
Pot where you're just cooking all the
food at your table so it's very
interactive you're just eating and
drinking slowly while talking for an
hour or two that's probably the best
real first date you can do after a
couple coffee shop visits now if you're
in Saigon Saigon has a much more modern
dating structure everything that I said
about all the traditional stuff in
Northern Vietnam that pretty much all
goes out the window so there girls are
probably going to want fancy dinners
they love the night life and dressing up
stuff like that so for me I prefer the
very Vietnamese traditional Vibe but it
just depends on where you're at and what
type of girls you're dating the last
thing I have to address is the idea of
gold diggers so a lot of people will
think that vet women will only be into
foreign men because they assume that
they have a lot of money and I think
this is completely false for 90% of
women here one of the things that I love
about Vietnamese women is they don't
really care about money the way Western
people do they're not impressed by fancy
things they don't have super high
expectations to do expensive activities
all the time they're mostly Satisfied by
just the little things way rather just
have someone that's interesting that
they can have a good conversation with
no girl is going to care what kind of
motorbike you show up to pick her up and
she's not going to be impressed if you
take her to a steak dinner but you can't
have a good conversation of all the
girls that I ever dated in Vietnam I
only had one who was pretty open about
the idea of I'm a foreign white man so I
must have a lot of money so I have to
pay for everything and we should do
expensive things all the time luckily I
got out of that one so overall dating in
Vietnam can be great I think Vietnamese
women are generally interested in
Western men and Western culture if
you're here in Vietnam you should
definitely give it a shot I think dating
in Vietnam is a lot more approachable
than even in Western countries so
everyone's experience is going to be
different I just wanted to share my own
so I hope you enjoyed it subscribe to
the channel see you the next one peace
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