5 Things I Dislike About Foreign Guys // How To Date Japanese Women

Summary

In this video, Sagi shares five things she dislikes about dating foreign guys, based on her personal experiences and cultural differences between Japan and Western countries. She discusses how foreign individuals sometimes disregard Japanese cultural norms, their intimidating directness, lack of commitment early in relationships, pressure to express opinions, and lower financial responsibility. Despite these issues, Sagi emphasizes that her partner choice is not based on nationality, and she values compatibility above all else. This video provides insight into dating dynamics and cross-cultural relationships from a Japanese perspective.

Takeaways

• 😀 Clarification about the term 'foreigners': Sagi refers to people raised in Western countries, not based on race, to avoid confusion and accusations of racism.
• 😀 Cultural differences in dating: Sagi emphasizes the importance of respecting cultural backgrounds when dating someone from a different country.
• 😀 Dislike for forced Westernization: Sagi dislikes when foreigners try to impose Western cultural standards on Japanese people, expecting them to follow their own norms.
• 😀 Intimidating behavior: Sagi finds certain Western attitudes intimidating, especially when people are overly direct, talk too much about themselves, or act superior to Japanese people.
• 😀 Confession in Japanese dating: Unlike in Western cultures, Japanese relationships often involve a 'kokuhaku' (confession), where one person explicitly expresses commitment early in the relationship.
• 😀 Western dating culture vs. Japanese dating culture: Sagi prefers the direct approach of Japanese relationships where commitment is declared early on, rather than leaving things uncertain as in some Western dating experiences.
• 😀 Negative feelings and communication: Sagi struggles with forced verbal expression of negative thoughts in relationships and prefers taking time to process emotions instead of being pushed for immediate responses.
• 😀 Responsibility in relationships: Japanese people, particularly men, are generally seen as more responsible, making plans ahead of time and managing finances carefully compared to some Western individuals.
• 😀 Financial responsibility: Sagi expresses concern over some Western men’s spending habits, particularly those who buy expensive items while in debt, contrasting them with the more responsible financial behavior typical of Japanese men.
• 😀 Sagi’s balanced view on relationships: Despite the preferences shared, Sagi highlights that personal connection, rather than nationality, is the deciding factor in her choice of a partner, clarifying that she's not choosing based on race or nationality.
• 😀 Mixed experiences with Japanese and foreign partners: Sagi shares that her dating history includes both Japanese and foreign men, but ultimately her relationship with Derek, her Western partner, is based on mutual compatibility.

Q & A

What are the five things the speaker dislikes about foreign guys?

The speaker dislikes: 1) Westerners trying to force Japanese customs to align with their own, 2) Westerners being intimidating through directness and self-centeredness, 3) Lack of early relationship commitment (no 'kokuhaku' or confession), 4) Being forced to verbalize thoughts and opinions, and 5) Less responsibility in terms of financial planning and savings.

What does the speaker mean by 'kokuhaku' in Japanese dating culture?

'Kokuhaku' is a Japanese custom where one person directly expresses their feelings and commitment to the other person, typically within the first few months of dating. It’s expected before getting physical, and it's a clear indication of a serious relationship.

Why does the speaker find Westerners' directness intimidating?

The speaker finds Westerners' directness intimidating because in Japanese culture, harmony is valued over blunt expressions. Direct statements like 'you're wrong' or 'I don't think that's good' can be seen as aggressive, making conversations feel uncomfortable for the speaker.

How does the speaker feel about Westerners who talk too much about themselves?

The speaker feels that when Westerners talk too much about themselves—such as their life, past relationships, and accomplishments—it can be overwhelming and one-sided, which makes it hard for a balanced and meaningful conversation.

What cultural differences does the speaker highlight regarding relationship commitments?

The speaker points out that in Japan, commitment is shown through 'kokuhaku' early in the relationship, while in Western culture, commitments may not be expressed until much later. This difference leads to confusion for the speaker, especially when Westerners don’t clearly define the relationship early on.

What is the speaker's perspective on Westerners' responsibility regarding finances?

The speaker believes that Japanese people are more responsible with money, often saving for the future, while many Westerners are seen as less responsible—spending on luxury items or partying while having debt. This lack of financial responsibility is a major concern for the speaker when thinking about a long-term relationship.

How does the speaker view the behavior of foreign men who look down on Japanese culture?

The speaker finds it offensive when foreigners look down on Japanese culture, calling Japan 'weird' or making derogatory comments about Japanese girls. The speaker emphasizes that such attitudes are a turn-off and should be avoided in any relationship.

What is the speaker’s view on Western communication styles?

While the speaker appreciates direct communication in Western culture, they also express that it can be overwhelming when Westerners insist on verbalizing thoughts during conflicts. In Japan, it's more common to process emotions quietly and avoid confrontational exchanges.

What does the speaker mean by 'forcing opinions into words'?

The speaker refers to the Western tendency to press others for their thoughts and opinions, especially during conflicts. In Japanese culture, it’s normal to take time to process emotions before expressing them, and being pushed to respond too quickly feels uncomfortable and frustrating.

How does the speaker feel about the overall cultural approach to dating?

The speaker acknowledges that cultural differences in dating can be challenging but emphasizes that they are not generalizing. They believe both Japanese and Western cultures have strengths and weaknesses in dating, and that understanding and respect are key for any relationship, regardless of nationality.