ADVICE To Young People In Their 20's | Jordan Peterson & Lewis Howes

Greatness Clips - Lewis Howes
24 Apr 202112:35

Summary

TLDRIn this video script, the speaker emphasizes the importance of developing key skills in one's 20s for overall success. They highlight maintaining physical health, fostering relationships, and cultivating reliability and generosity as crucial. The speaker also discusses the value of a strong network and the profound satisfaction derived from helping others. They delve into the concept of 'enlightened self-interest,' suggesting that acting ethically not only benefits others but also aligns with one's long-term self-interest, leading to a fulfilling life.

Takeaways

  • 💪 Maintain physical health by exercising and avoiding excessive drinking and substance abuse.
  • 🧠 Exercise is crucial for maintaining cognitive function as you age.
  • 👫 Foster and maintain relationships as they become increasingly valuable with age.
  • 🔗 Build a wide network of connections as it can open doors to opportunities and knowledge.
  • 🌟 Be reliable, generous, and develop a reputation for being someone others want to collaborate with.
  • 🤔 Cultivate philosophical sophistication to better understand and navigate the world.
  • 🌱 Helping others is more rewarding than focusing solely on personal gain.
  • 💰 Consider long-term interests when making decisions, as they align with acting ethically and benefiting others.
  • 🏆 Aim to win in a way that also benefits others, creating a win-win situation.
  • 🔄 Understand that you are a community of selves across time, and act in a manner that benefits your future self.

Q & A

  • What are the key skills people should develop in their 20s according to the transcript?

    -The key skills mentioned are maintaining good physical health, fostering and maintaining relationships, and developing philosophical sophistication.

  • How does the transcript suggest one can tell if they are drinking too much?

    -The transcript suggests that if one regrets their actions while drinking, it interferes with their goals, causes financial distress, or gets them in trouble with friends, family, or the police, they are likely drinking too much.

  • Why is physical health important according to the transcript?

    -Physical health is important because it can improve one's strength, coordination, and cognitive ability. It also contributes to living a longer, healthier life and can help stave off the decline in fluid intelligence.

  • What role do relationships play in success according to the transcript?

    -Relationships play a crucial role in success as they form a valuable network that becomes more beneficial as one gets older. Being reliable, generous, and having a wide connection network are key to success.

  • What is the significance of a connection network as mentioned in the transcript?

    -A connection network is significant because it can provide access to a wide range of opportunities and resources. It can also increase one's influence and the likelihood of being chosen for collaborative endeavors.

  • How does the transcript define philosophical sophistication?

    -Philosophical sophistication is defined as having a well-rounded understanding of the world, which can orient one properly and provide insights into the value of actions such as helping others.

  • Why is helping others considered more rewarding than other activities?

    -Helping others is considered more rewarding because it provides a deep sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that is unmatched by other experiences. It aligns with the idea of community and shared success.

  • What is the concept of 'enlightened self-interest' as discussed in the transcript?

    -Enlightened self-interest refers to the idea that acting in a manner that benefits one's entire community across time is also the best strategy for long-term personal success and happiness.

  • How does the transcript connect the concept of community to the future?

    -The transcript connects the concept of community to the future by stating that once humans discovered the future, they became a community of selves stretched across time, leading to a community ethic that values shared success.

  • What is the importance of being reliable and generous in the context of the transcript?

    -Being reliable and generous is important because it makes one more desirable to collaborate with, leading to more opportunities and a better chance of success in various aspects of life.

  • How does the transcript relate the idea of playing games to real-life interactions?

    -The transcript uses the idea of playing games to illustrate how fair and generous behavior in one interaction can lead to more opportunities for collaboration in the future, emphasizing the value of trust and mutual benefit.

Outlines

00:00

💪 Developing Essential Skills in Your 20s

The paragraph emphasizes the importance of physical health, avoiding substance abuse, and maintaining good relationships during one's 20s. It suggests that being in good physical condition can lead to a longer and healthier life, and that exercising can help maintain cognitive abilities. The speaker also highlights the value of having a reliable and generous character, as well as a wide network of connections, which becomes increasingly valuable with age. The paragraph concludes with a discussion on the benefits of helping others and how it can be more rewarding than focusing solely on personal gain.

05:01

🤔 The Philosophy of Generosity and Reliability

This paragraph delves into the concept that being generous and reliable is not only a moral stance but also a practical strategy for long-term success. It uses a hypothetical game scenario to illustrate how fair distribution of resources can lead to more opportunities in the future. The speaker argues that acting ethically is the best strategy for personal gain, as it builds a reputation that attracts more opportunities. The discussion also touches on the idea of the 'community of selves' across time, suggesting that acting in the best interest of one's future self involves considering the impact on others.

10:03

🎖️ The Significance of Early Experiences and Socialization

The final paragraph discusses the impact of early experiences on an individual's life course, using the example of a person who had a revelatory moment that led to a commitment to personal improvement. It also explores the role of socialization, particularly in the military, in shaping values such as teamwork and loyalty. The narrative suggests that these values are crucial for leadership and success, as they foster trust and support among peers.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Physical Health

Physical health refers to the general condition of a person's body, including the ability to function and be free from illness, injury, or pain. In the video, it is emphasized as a foundational aspect of personal development in one's 20s. The script mentions that being in good physical condition can lead to a longer, healthier life, and better cognitive function. It is used as an example of a basic yet crucial element for personal success and well-being.

💡Substance Abuse

Substance abuse is the harmful or hazardous use of psychoactive substances, including alcohol and illicit drugs. The script warns against the negative impacts of substance abuse, particularly alcohol, which can lead to financial distress, health issues, and strained relationships. It is presented as a behavior that should be curbed to ensure personal growth and success.

💡Cognitive Ability

Cognitive ability encompasses various aspects of mental function, such as memory, attention, language, perceptual skills, and problem-solving. The video suggests that maintaining physical fitness through exercise can help preserve cognitive function as one ages. It is highlighted as an important factor in staying sharp and capable throughout life.

💡Relationships

Relationships refer to the various types of interpersonal connections that people form. The script underscores the importance of maintaining and fostering relationships for success. It mentions that successful people are often reliable, generous, and have a wide network of connections, which becomes increasingly valuable as they get older.

💡Connection Network

A connection network is the web of professional and personal contacts that an individual has. The video stresses the value of having a robust connection network, suggesting that it can open doors to opportunities and provide access to resources. It is portrayed as a significant advantage that comes with age and experience.

💡Philosophical Sophistication

Philosophical sophistication refers to a deep understanding of philosophical concepts and principles. The video implies that having a sophisticated sense of the world can help orient one's actions and decisions. It is linked to the idea that doing things for others can be more rewarding than focusing solely on oneself.

💡Generosity

Generosity is the quality of being willing to give more of one's time, money, or resources than the minimum required. In the context of the video, generosity is presented as a virtue that not only benefits others but also enhances one's own life by making one more attractive as a partner in social and professional interactions.

💡Productivity

Productivity refers to the efficiency of an individual's work or the rate at which products are produced. The script encourages being productive and making others better around you, which can lead to more opportunities and invitations to 'play' (participate) in various endeavors.

💡Ethical Argument

An ethical argument is a line of reasoning that seeks to establish principles of right and wrong, which can guide actions and decisions. The video presents the ethical argument that being a good person is the best strategy for achieving personal success and happiness. It is used to illustrate that acting in the best interest of others aligns with one's own long-term self-interest.

💡Community of Selves

The concept of a 'community of selves' refers to the idea that an individual is not just a single entity but a collection of selves across different times and stages of life. The video uses this concept to argue that acting in a way that benefits this community, such as through ethical behavior, is a form of enlightened self-interest.

💡Leadership

Leadership is the act of leading a group of people or an organization. The script discusses the importance of leadership in the context of the Navy SEALs, where looking out for one's team is a fundamental value. It suggests that being a good leader involves having the trust and support of one's team, which is earned by demonstrating reliability and commitment.

Highlights

The importance of being in good physical condition in one's 20s for overall well-being and success.

Identifying signs of excessive drinking and its negative impacts on life goals, finances, and relationships.

The significance of physical health in maintaining cognitive ability and preventing decline.

Exercise, particularly cardiovascular and weightlifting, as an effective way to maintain cognitive function.

The natural decline in fluid intelligence starting at around age 25 and how exercise can mitigate this.

The value of maintaining and fostering relationships for long-term success and support networks.

The concept that successful people are reliable, generous, and have extensive connection networks.

The advantage of older individuals having a well-established connection network.

The practical example of how to build a valuable connection network through generosity and reliability.

The philosophical insight that helping others is more rewarding than materialistic pursuits.

The psychological satisfaction derived from being of service to others.

The game theory example illustrating the benefits of fair distribution of resources in social interactions.

The strategy of being a person others want to engage with by being productive, straightforward, and generous.

The ethical argument that being a good person is the best strategy for personal success and fulfillment.

The concept of the self as a community across time and the importance of acting in the best interest of this community.

The idea that enlightened self-interest aligns with acting in the best interest of others.

The importance of socialization and learning to prioritize the well-being of one's team, as exemplified by the Navy SEALs.

The necessity of trust and support in leadership positions, especially in high-stakes environments.

Transcripts

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um

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what do you think of the skills that

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people should start to develop in their

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20s in general

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to make them better human beings

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more potentially

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open to success financially relationship

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health-wise what are

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two or three things that everyone should

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focus on in their 20s

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well it certainly doesn't hurt to be in

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physical good physical condition

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so we can walk through it stop drinking

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too much

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how do you know if you're drinking too

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much um

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you regret what you do when you're

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drinking

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it's it's interfering with other

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important goals

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it's it's causing you financial distress

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it's getting you in trouble with your

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friends or your family

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it's getting you in trouble with the

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police okay

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so stop abusing substances if you can

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right if you see that they're um hurting

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you

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um an alcohol is particularly pernicious

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in that regard

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so physical health

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are you in decent shape are you strong

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and coordinated

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and if you're not well you'd be better

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if you were

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you'd feel better you'd be more

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effective you'd live longer you'd be

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less sick

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and you really see that mount up like if

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someone's been in shape

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once in their life they age way better

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and it's also a really good way of

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maintaining your cognitive ability

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like you know you you hear about those

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exercises that you can do online to

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make you smarter and keep your cognitive

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ability intact those don't work

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there's no evidence that they work

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people keep saying that they make you

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smarter they maintain your cognitive

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function

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psychologists have studied that for 50

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years hoping

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that one of those things will work

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trying all sorts of creative

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tacks they don't work exercise works

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cardiovascular and weightlifting you

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start to decline in your

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fluid intelligence at about the age of

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25

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and it's a linear trend downhill and it

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can accelerate as you get older it's

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just

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like this quite ugly if you exercise you

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stave that off so that's really useful

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um maintain your relationships

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and and foster them they're un so when i

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look at successful people

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they're really good at something they're

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reliable

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right you can count on their word

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they're generous

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and they have a wide wide connection

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network

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which becomes more and more valuable as

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you get older yeah

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so it's one advantage that older people

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really have over younger people they

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have a connection network and a

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connection network is

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huge well

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you could be connected to a thousand

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well-connected people

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okay that means you are connected to the

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entire world

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right it's unbelievably valuable and

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that's one of the things that's so

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absolutely remarkable about the

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situation that i'm in right now as far

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as

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one of the great benefits is i can

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access i can contact

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pretty much anybody and they'll talk to

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me it's like really

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right that's so cool i'm i'm interested

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in infrastructure for reasons i won't

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get into but i'm interested in

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infrastructure development

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i think it's a good method of wealth

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transfer

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it's a good solution to the problem of

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inequality and employment

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um i reached out to a leading expert

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a leading expert on infrastructure last

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week

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see if he'd talk to me i thought i don't

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know anything about infrastructure

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except that it's worn to a frazzle and

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we should do something about it

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you know he agreed to talk and

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having a connection network is of an

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inestimable

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inestimable value huge um

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reliability generosity you can work on

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both of those

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philosophical sophistication

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it's very useful um because it orients

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you properly

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you have a sophisticated sense of of the

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world

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you find for example that um

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doing things for other people is

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actually more rewarding than

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virtually anything else you can do you

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know when

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you hear you should be of service to

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other people

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well if you actually watch yourself

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you pay attention to yourself and you do

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something that helps someone else and it

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genuinely helps them

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i defy you to find another experience

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that is that satisfying it's actually

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quite

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stunning how satisfying that is

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and so that's a very useful thing to

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realize and why

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why is helping another person the most

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satisfying thing for probably most

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people when they're

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if they're you know out of their ego of

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like i want to buy more things to make

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me happy in this moment why is that

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such a satisfying thing for human beings

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uh there's no better strategy for

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there's no better

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life strategy i mean

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imagine i could give you a quick

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sort of technical example so imagine i

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take two people and i say okay

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um i'm gonna give you a hundred dollars

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and you have to give some of it to the

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person right beside you

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and they can either agree or disagree

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with the split but if they disagree

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you don't get anything okay so

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a classical economist would say that the

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person should

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take the hundred offer the person next

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to them a dollar

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and the person should accept it because

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why not they get a dollar instead of

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nothing

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and that's the solution but what happens

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is that if you don't offer that other

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person something

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close to 50 50 they're likely to tell

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you to go to hell

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yes very and they think nothing you get

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nothing too

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you think well why would people do that

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because

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they just reject 50 and who cares and

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the answer is well we don't just play

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one game with other people we play a

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repeating game

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and so so imagine we did this imagine

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it's a crowd and they're all watching

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you

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and i offer you a hundred dollars and

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you have to share it with the person

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next to you and you say

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would you like to take seventy dollars

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and the person says well i'm not sure

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that's fair to you but if it's okay

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yes but then everyone else sees that

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and now they all have an opportunity to

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pick who they're going to play with

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next well you're not going to get pissed

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picked

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last are you remember what you told me

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you didn't want to get picked last right

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okay so what you did was you turned

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yourself into an athlete

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a machine okay okay

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great so but imagine we expand that game

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yes

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and we say you want to be the person

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that everyone wants to play with yep

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well then all you have in your whole

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life is invitations to play

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well how how and how are you going to be

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that person be productive

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straightforward generous

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make everyone else better around you and

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they're going to want to play with you

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absolutely

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so there you go and then you get to play

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yeah exactly

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well how is that not the best possible

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deal it's

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clearly see so so

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the reason if if the ethical argument is

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put properly

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it is by far the most compelling

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argument it's like if you want to have

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everything you could possibly want and

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more

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then be a good person the better a

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person you are the more likely that is

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to happen

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that doesn't mean you that you're

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completely protected against getting cut

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off at the knees

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but there's no better strategy

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that's it and you can even think about

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it selfishly and i talk about this to

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some degree and beyond order

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let's say you let's say that i you want

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to be selfish

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you think that's the best possible

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strategy why should i care about others

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okay let's say you should only act in

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your own best interest

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well then it's like what's your best

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interest

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well what does interest

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mean and what does you mean what's in

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your best interest

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your best interest three mysteries

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what's your what's best what's interest

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okay

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well there's you but you aren't just you

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right now

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you're you and you tomorrow and you next

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week and you next month and you

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in five years and you in 10 years and

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you when you're a pensioner

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you're a community of selves stretched

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across time

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and so if you were enlightened and

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selfish you would act in a manner that

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would benefit that entire community

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across time and i don't think that's any

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different than acting

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on the best possible part for other

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people i think they're the same problem

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so i think as soon as human beings

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discovered the future

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we we know we were no longer singular

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individuals we're instantly each a

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community

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and then the community ethic prevails

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and the community ethic is

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i want to win in a way that makes you

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win

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that's the best possible victory

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wins and what's the point well you think

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it's a zero-sum game it's either you or

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me

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or maybe i want the comparative status

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but i would say even if you want the

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comparative status let's say you just

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you're motivated by

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that

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what what would confer upon you even

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hypothetically more status than to be

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the most

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popular person while being chosen for

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games

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i mean you think about that just think

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for a second about right because it

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struck me

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that biographical um piece

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alfred adler who was the psychologist

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that i talked to you about earlier he

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said

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one of his claims was that many people

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have a

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like a a stark memory

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that sets the course for their life

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that's true of right moments

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and you have exactly that and you so

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adlerian

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psychology would be of great interest to

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you i suspect

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but but partly you see what happened was

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you had a true revelation

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you thought i if i'm being picked

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last something is wrong

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and that's absolutely right it's it's

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unbelievably right

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and you played it out first in the

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athletic domain but yes you have to

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start somewhere

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right so that's a good place to start

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jockel was telling me when we talked

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this week

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he's this tough character man you know

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and he could have

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and i'm not telling tails out of school

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here

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he could have been a criminal no problem

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and he knows that perfectly well and i'm

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not saying

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i'm not saying that as a slur on his

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character

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partly because i believe the nietzschean

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dictum that a lot of morality is just

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cowardice

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whatever he might be he's not a coward

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right

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and so and just because you obey the

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laws doesn't mean you're moral

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just might mean you're afraid in any

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case

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so the question is well what socialized

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this brute

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well he was taught in the navy seals

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take care of your

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team that's your fundamental purpose

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and he noted and we had a long

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discussion about this

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the successful guys man they've

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you know they've got your back wow

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right they you know that above all yeah

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and if and if

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if if you aspire to a leadership

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position

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among those brutes let's say and you

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aren't

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someone they know to have your back

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they're not following you're not gonna

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make it yeah

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you're not gonna make it

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you

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