How I turned around the hardest years of my life (2018-2020)

Summary

The speaker shares their personal journey of becoming a primary caretaker for their mother after a massive stroke, which led to her passing away two years later. They discuss the importance of acceptance, the courage to change, and the wisdom to know the difference when facing hardships. The video also explores the concept of patience and how it can contribute to peace during difficult times, offering insights on coping mechanisms and personal growth.

Takeaways

• 🏥 The speaker's mother suffered a massive stroke in 2018, which led to her being fully disabled and requiring full-time care.
• 🏠 For two years, the speaker was the primary caretaker for their mother, dealing with the physical and emotional challenges of caregiving.
• 🕊️ Despite the hardship, the speaker managed to start a YouTube channel and other projects, which brought positivity into their life.
• 💡 The speaker shares a mindset that helped them survive and build for the future despite tremendous loss.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The importance of family support and the different ways people grieve are acknowledged, emphasizing the individual nature of coping mechanisms.
• 🌱 The concept of acceptance is introduced as a key strategy for dealing with hardships, whether they are changes in health, job, or personal life.
• 🛡️ Acceptance is compared to a shield that can protect from mental bruising, but it's also noted that it should be used situationally and not to the point of preventing necessary action.
• 🔄 The speaker discusses the balance between accepting what cannot be changed and fighting for what can be improved or changed.
• 📈 The idea of learning from experience to identify what can and cannot be changed is highlighted as a skill that develops over time.
• 🙏 The Serenity Prayer is mentioned as a related concept, emphasizing the need for wisdom to know the difference between what can and cannot be changed.
• 🌱 The value of patience is underscored as a tool for maintaining peace and allowing time for healing and growth.

Q & A

What was the speaker's mother's condition in 2018?

In 2018, the speaker's mother had a massive hemorrhagic stroke that left her fully disabled, unable to walk, speak, move, eat, or live by herself.

How long did the speaker serve as the primary caretaker for their mother?

The speaker served as the primary caretaker for their mother for 2 years.

What did the speaker manage to start during the time of caring for their mother?

During the time of caring for their mother, the speaker managed to start a YouTube channel called 'Hybrid Calisthenics' and other projects.

What mindset helped the speaker survive their mother's illness and passing?

The mindset that helped the speaker survive was accepting new hardships as new realities imposed on their life, deciding whether to accept or fight these changes, and finding a balance between the two.

What was the speaker's initial reaction to their mother's sudden illness?

Initially, the speaker was devastated and had a hard time accepting the possibility of not being able to pay back their parents for all they had done.

How did the speaker's approach to dealing with grief differ from other family members?

The speaker's approach was more about acceptance and finding peace quickly, while other family members struggled more with the situation and were more affected emotionally.

What is the importance of introspection and cultural teachings in the speaker's mindset?

Introspection and cultural teachings provided the speaker with a framework for understanding how to deal with grief, hardship, and change, and they incorporated these lessons into their approach to life's difficulties.

What is the main difference between acceptance and fighting a new reality according to the speaker?

Acceptance means acknowledging the new reality and trying to move on or pivot, while fighting involves trying to change the situation or seeking help to change it.

How did the speaker apply their mindset to their mother's health situation?

The speaker applied their mindset by gradually understanding and accepting the possibility of their mother's passing, while also doing everything they could to provide the best care for her.

What is the significance of the family dog story in the script?

The family dog story illustrates the importance of not accepting things too quickly and the potential benefits of fighting for a positive outcome, even when the odds seem against you.

What did the speaker learn about their own mindset from the experience with their mother and the family dog?

The speaker learned that while acceptance can bring peace, it's also important to fight for what you want and that there's a time and place for both acceptance and fighting.

How does the speaker suggest dealing with the uncertainty of whether to accept or fight a situation?

The speaker suggests making the best decision you can with the information you have and learning from the outcome, acknowledging that sometimes you won't be sure which approach is best.