How Con Artists See Right Through You

Artificially Aware
16 Sept 202414:23

Summary

TLDRThe video explores how humans are naturally vulnerable to deception, particularly through the lens of con artistry. Using examples from Maria Konnikova's book 'The Confidence Game,' it highlights how con artists exploit people's trust, ego, and desire for familiarity. The script emphasizes that everyone has a 'kick me' sign visible only to skilled manipulators. It explains how tactics like charisma, mirroring, and small requests are used to deceive people, urging viewers to recognize their psychological weaknesses to avoid falling prey to scams.

Takeaways

  • 🤔 Humans believe they are too smart to fall for cons, but they are actually vulnerable to deception.
  • 🧠 Con artists are skilled at reading people's insecurities and weaknesses, making them easy targets.
  • 😮 Charisma is a powerful tool that allows con artists to gain trust and manipulate their victims without suspicion.
  • 📚 People trust those who seem familiar, which con artists exploit by mimicking body language, tone, and values.
  • 🎣 The 'foot in the door' technique works by starting with a small request and gradually escalating the scam.
  • 💸 Large requests followed by smaller ones trigger guilt, leading people to agree out of obligation, making scams more effective.
  • 🤫 Humans are often deceived because they engage in self-deception, allowing con artists to exploit their vanity and ego.
  • 🔁 Cognitive dissonance makes people hold onto false beliefs, even when presented with evidence of being scammed.
  • 🙊 Victims of scams often don't report the crime, fearing the embarrassment of admitting they were fooled.
  • 🔒 To avoid falling for scams, individuals need to be aware of their own weaknesses and avoid over-trusting others too easily.

Q & A

  • What does the speaker claim about human susceptibility to deception?

    -The speaker claims that all humans are susceptible to deception and carry a metaphorical 'kick me' sign that con artists can read.

  • What is the significance of the book 'The Confidence Game' by Maria Konnikova mentioned in the script?

    -The book is significant because it supposedly reveals how humans are consistently duped and provides insights into the psychology behind cons and deception.

  • How does the speaker describe the process of people-watching in a cafe?

    -The speaker describes people-watching as a game where humans make assumptions about strangers based on body language and expressions, which con artists also use to their advantage.

  • What does the script suggest about human nature in terms of wanting to know about others?

    -The script suggests that humans have a comfort in not knowing too much about others and avoid getting too close or asking too many questions.

  • How do con artists use charisma as a tool according to the script?

    -Con artists use charisma as a 'weaponized empathy' to get close to their targets without raising suspicion, making them seem likeable and trustworthy.

  • What is the 'foot in the door' technique mentioned in the script?

    -The 'foot in the door' technique is a method where con artists start by getting a small commitment from their target and then use that to gain more significant access or compliance.

  • How does the script illustrate the concept of self-deception in relation to cons?

    -The script illustrates self-deception by explaining how people create idealized versions of themselves and are easily manipulated when con artists play to those self-perceptions.

  • What is cognitive dissonance, and how do con artists exploit it according to the script?

    -Cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort people feel when their beliefs are threatened. Con artists exploit it by making people justify staying in a scam to avoid admitting they were wrong.

  • Why do people often not report being scammed, as discussed in the script?

    -People often do not report being scammed because admitting to being fooled is worse than losing money; it threatens their reputation and public image.

  • How does the script suggest that con artists take advantage of human optimism?

    -The script suggests that con artists take advantage of human optimism by preying on the belief that the next opportunity will be successful, similar to the psychology of gamblers.

  • What advice does the speaker give to protect oneself from cons?

    -The speaker advises understanding one's own weaknesses, what makes one impulsive or trusting too easily, to potentially recognize and avoid the next con.

Outlines

00:00

🔍 The Art of Deception: Unveiling Human Vulnerabilities

This paragraph introduces the concept of deception and how con artists exploit human psychology. It discusses the common misconception that people are immune to scams due to their intelligence. The speaker references 'The Confidence Game' by Maria Konnikova, which delves into the tactics used by con artists to manipulate their targets. The paragraph highlights how humans often misjudge others based on superficial observations, while con artists are adept at reading subtle cues to exploit vulnerabilities. It also touches on how charisma can be weaponized to gain trust and access to potential victims.

05:00

💬 The Power of Charisma and the 'Foot in the Door' Technique

This paragraph explores the role of charisma in con artistry and the 'foot in the door' technique, which involves getting a small commitment to lead to a larger one. It uses the example of Joan, who was deceived by a charming man named Greg, to illustrate how con artists use charm and the appearance of a perfect fit to their victims' needs to gain trust. The paragraph also discusses the psychological principle of cognitive dissonance and how con artists use it to their advantage, as well as the impact of self-deception and how people are often more susceptible to scams that play to their self-image and desires.

10:03

🎲 Cognitive Dissonance and the Psychology of Scams

The final paragraph delves into cognitive dissonance and how con artists use it to keep their victims invested in scams. It discusses the psychological tendency of people to justify their actions to maintain self-image and avoid cognitive dissonance. The paragraph uses examples like the Nigerian prince scam and the story of an aristocratic family deceived by a con artist named Tilly to show how con artists exploit human psychology. It also touches on the role of optimism and the desire for positive outcomes in making people susceptible to scams. The paragraph concludes with a call to action for individuals to recognize their own vulnerabilities to avoid falling prey to con artists.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Deception

Deception refers to the act of misleading or tricking someone into believing something false. In the video, the theme of deception is central as it explores how humans are easily fooled by con artists who exploit their vulnerabilities. The narrator argues that everyone has a 'kick me' sign, indicating how susceptible people are to being deceived.

💡Con artist

A con artist is a person who deceives others, typically to take advantage of them for personal gain. In the video, con artists are portrayed as skilled manipulators who use charm, empathy, and psychological tactics to fool their victims. The narrator explains that they are experts at reading people and exploiting their weaknesses, like in the story of Deborah, who lost $27,000.

💡Charisma

Charisma is a compelling charm or appeal that makes others trust or admire someone. The video describes charisma as a tool that con artists use to manipulate people, likening it to 'weaponized empathy.' By exuding charm, con artists disarm their victims, making them more vulnerable to deception, as in the case of Joan, who trusted Greg despite his lies.

💡Foot-in-the-door technique

This psychological tactic involves making a small request to gain a person's initial compliance, which then makes them more likely to agree to a larger request. In the video, this technique is discussed as a common method used by con artists to lure their victims, starting with something minor before escalating to bigger demands, like how a young Bill Morrison tricked people into sending him money with a small ask.

💡Cognitive dissonance

Cognitive dissonance occurs when a person holds two conflicting beliefs or ideas, leading to psychological discomfort. The video explains how con artists exploit this by creating situations where victims feel compelled to justify their actions even when they realize something is wrong, as seen with James Norfleet, who continued investing in fake stocks to avoid admitting his mistake.

💡Self-deception

Self-deception is when someone convinces themselves of something that isn't true, often to protect their self-image. The video emphasizes how con artists exploit this tendency by telling people what they want to hear. The example of the professor believing a Czech supermodel was interested in him, despite obvious red flags, illustrates this concept.

💡Trust

Trust is a key element that con artists manipulate to gain access to their victims. The video discusses how humans are naturally inclined to trust people who seem familiar or reflect their own values. This is exploited by con artists who mirror their targets’ behavior, creating a false sense of security and connection.

💡Weaponized empathy

Weaponized empathy refers to the strategic use of understanding and manipulating someone’s emotions to gain their trust. In the video, con artists are said to use this tactic to get close to their victims. By appearing to care deeply or understanding their targets’ emotions, they lower the victim’s defenses and exploit their vulnerabilities.

💡Guilt manipulation

Guilt manipulation is the act of making someone feel responsible or guilty to influence their decisions. The video highlights how con artists use this tactic, such as in the example of Lady Worster, who was tricked into accepting a fraudulent donation after initially refusing a lavish invitation, driven by a sense of obligation.

💡Vanity

Vanity, or excessive pride in one’s appearance or abilities, is another vulnerability that con artists exploit. The video suggests that people are often fooled because they want to believe they are special or desirable, as in the case of the professor who fell for the supermodel scam, convinced that his self-perception was accurate.

Highlights

Humans often believe they are immune to deception, but con artists exploit their vulnerabilities.

The book 'The Confidence Game' by Maria Konnikova delves into the psychology of deception.

Con artists are skilled at reading people's body language and expressions to identify weaknesses.

People tend to avoid getting too close or asking too many questions, which con artists use to their advantage.

Charisma can be a 'cheat code' for con artists to build trust and get close to their targets.

Con artists mimic their targets' behavior to appear familiar and trustworthy.

The 'foot in the door' technique is a common method used by con artists to get small initial commitments.

Con artists use the 'big ask' strategy, then scale back to make their targets feel obligated to agree.

Self-deception plays a role in scams, as victims often believe in an idealized version of themselves.

Cognitive dissonance leads people to justify their actions to maintain their self-image, even when faced with evidence of a scam.

Con artists exploit the human tendency to be optimistic and believe in the best possible outcome.

The fear of losing reputation can prevent victims from reporting scams, as they prefer to keep the secret.

Understanding one's own weaknesses is key to protecting oneself from con artists.

Con artists don't trick people because they are geniuses, but because people reveal their own vulnerabilities.

The book 'The Confidence Game' provides insights into how to recognize and avoid becoming a victim of deception.

Transcripts

play00:21

what if I told you that right now

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without ever meeting you I could find

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your weak spot in just a few

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minutes not because I'm particularly

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special but because I know how to look

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for

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it the truth is All Humans think they're

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safe from deception that they're too

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smart to fall for some slick talking

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fraud but here's the kicker you're

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wrong every single one of you is walking

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around with a kick me sign on your back

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and it's in big bold letters that only a

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con artist can

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read you don't believe

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me fine let's play along

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I stumbled on this book The Confidence

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Game by Maria kekova PhD in Psychology

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by the way and I thought could this

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thing really crack open the minds of

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humans and show me exactly how you all

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get duped every single time spoiler

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alert it

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does so buckle up carbon based beings

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we're about to dive into the anatomy of

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a

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con and believe me by the end of this

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you'll never look at your own sense of

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judgment the same way again

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have you ever sat in a cafe sipping your

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overpriced coffee and people

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watched you know the game Imagining the

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lives of strangers based on their body

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language their

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expressions you humans love to think

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you've got someone all figured out after

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a few glances don't

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you well guess what you're not the only

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one doing the watching

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the cons are watching you

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too kova points out that you make it

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easy you avoid getting too close don't

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ask too many questions because deep down

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you don't want to

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know like psychologist Jeffrey Simpson's

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study where couples who couldn't read

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each other's emotions were happier than

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those who

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could it's like you have this weird

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comfort in not

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knowing but the con

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artist they want to know everything

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they thrive on picking up the little

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tells that you don't even realize you're

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giving

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off you're basically a walking talking

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catalog of insecurities waiting for

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someone with a bit of Charisma to flip

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through your

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pages which brings me to Deborah

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salfield a clairvoyant of all people

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sized her up in an instant saw her

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vulnerability and Bam 27,000

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gone just like that you think that can't

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be

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you think

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again Charisma it's like a cheat code

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for human

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interaction a con artist walks into a

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room flashes a smile makes eye contact

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and suddenly they're everyone's best

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friend you call it charm I call it

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weaponized

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empathy take Joan for

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instance poor Joan met Greg a guy so

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sweet he could have been pouring sugar

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out of his

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pockets he built her a kitchen took care

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of her sick grandmother he was the

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perfect

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guy except you know his job his life

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story and everything about him was a

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lie two years of her life wasted on a

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guy who was nothing but a ghost wearing

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a suit of

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Charisma kova Nails it Charisma is what

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lets these people get close to you

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without you ever realizing you should be

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keeping them at arms

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length they're like magicians but the

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trick isn't slight of

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hand the trick is making you believe in

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them so hard that you ignore every red

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flag waving in your

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face and by the time you see it they've

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already

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disappeared and how do they do

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it simple they become you humans have

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this built-in system system where you

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trust people who seem

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familiar you're like dogs sniffing out

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pack

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members Lisa de Brun ran a study where

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people trusted a virtual teammate more

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if their face was subtly altered to

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resemble their

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own you're wired to trust mirrors of

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yourself con artists know this better

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than you

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do they'll mimic your body language copy

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your tone reflect your

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values you'll look at them and think

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finally someone who gets me but what

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you're seeing is just a mirror one

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they've polished up for the

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occasion and once they've perfected

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their reflection they move to the next

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step getting you to say

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yes the foot in the door technique the

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oldest trick in the

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book start small just get you to agree

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to one tiny

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thing

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then well the door's wide open for them

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to walk right in and take everything you

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got let me tell you about this kid from

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around

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1900 Bill Morrison or as he liked to

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call himself a Nigerian

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prince yeah the same scam you see in

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your inbox today except this one

play05:49

involved a newspaper ad and a promise of

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precious gems in exchange for

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$4 he was

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14 14 and already had grown adults

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sending him money because well it

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started with a small

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ask that's the magic of the foot in the

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door once you say yes to something tiny

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you're hooked like a fish nibbling on

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bait before the big

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yank kekova details this technique

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brilliantly and it's almost laughable

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how often it

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works you think you're too smart for

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that

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sure keep telling yourself that the next

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time someone asks for just five minutes

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of your

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time before you know it your neck deep

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in a scam and that 5 minutes has turned

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into your life

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savings but what about the reverse the

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big ask first then pulling

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back that's another

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Beauty lady Worster this kind soul

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trying to raise money for ethical Pig

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farming I can't make this up gets

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approached by a fake

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nobleman he invites her to his Monaco

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estate she

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refuses but later when he pulls out a

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$4,000 check at her Charity Auction she

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feels guilty turning him

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down the check bounces of

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course it's the perfect manipulation

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first you say no to something ridiculous

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but when they scale it back you feel

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obligated to give

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in humans are hardwired to avoid guilt

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it's practically your operating

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system con

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artists they hack into it like it's

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nothing now let's talk about

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self-deception you've seen the guy with

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the bad 2p

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right you wonder who does he think he's

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fooling but here's the thing he's not

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trying to fool you he's fooling

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himself that's the secret con artists

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love your self-perception is terrible

play08:02

you build these idealized versions of

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yourselves thinking you're Invincible

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desirable

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intelligent and then someone comes along

play08:10

and tells you yes yes you are all those

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things and more and boom your putty in

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their

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hands like the 68-year-old professor who

play08:20

thought a cze supermodel was into

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him never even spoke to her on the phone

play08:26

but hey she liked his profile he flies

play08:29

to Bolivia to meet her gets arrested

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carrying her luggage filled with

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cocaine he bought into the lie because

play08:37

it played to his version of

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himself

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vanity it's a powerful

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drug can artists know how to exploit not

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just individuals but entire

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families take theer Tilly Who convinced

play08:57

an entire aristocratic family that they

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were under attack from secret

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societies he exploited their pride their

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belief that they were special destined

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for

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greatness he told them what they wanted

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to hear that their family name was at

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the center of an international

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conspiracy and what did they

play09:19

do handed over everything they

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had it's a beautiful tragedy really the

play09:26

bigger the ego the easier the

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fall and you think you're

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untouchable that you're not walking

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around with a giant bullseye on your

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ego

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please here's the thing about humans

play09:45

you're natural-born

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optimists no matter how many times you

play09:49

lose you convince yourselves that the

play09:52

next bet is going to be the one that

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pays

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off that's how William Miller made his

play09:58

fortune

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he didn't actually invest anyone's money

play10:02

he just paid off early investors with

play10:04

the cash from the new

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ones and as long as people kept

play10:08

believing in the illusion of success the

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scam kept

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rolling it's the same psychology that

play10:14

drives gamblers one early win keeps them

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coming back for more even as the losses

play10:20

pile up you humans want to believe in

play10:23

the best possible

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outcome it's adorable really also Danger

play10:34

dous now let's talk about cognitive

play10:37

dissonance when your brain bends reality

play10:40

to fit your

play10:41

beliefs Leon festinger nailed it when he

play10:44

studied

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Cults when the world didn't end as they

play10:47

predicted they didn't question their

play10:51

beliefs no they doubled

play10:54

down they told themselves that their

play10:56

meditations had saved the world

play11:00

that's what happens when your beliefs

play11:01

come under threat you rewrite the

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script and con artists know

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this once they've got you hooked you'll

play11:10

go to insane lengths to justify staying

play11:12

in the

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game take James Norfleet who got conned

play11:17

into investing in fake

play11:19

stocks even after he was told it was a

play11:21

scam he kept throwing money at

play11:24

it why because admitting he'd been wrong

play11:28

was too painful

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F it's easier to believe the

play11:38

lie humans value reputation Like

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Oxygen Robin Dunbar showed that 65% of

play11:44

your conversations are about gossip who

play11:47

did what who said

play11:49

what you're constantly curating your

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Public

play11:53

Image and con

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artists they know how desperate you are

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to maintain that image

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that's why even after someone gets

play12:02

scammed they don't report it like the

play12:06

70,000 people who fell for a rumor about

play12:08

Sir Francis Drake's

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treasure none of them went to the police

play12:14

after the con was

play12:16

exposed why because admitting you've

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been fooled is worse than losing the

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money you'd rather keep the secret than

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risk looking

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stupid it's not just vanity

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it's

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Survival by now you might be feeling a

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little

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paranoid

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good that's the

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point kakoa's book doesn't just explain

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how K work it shows you how you work how

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every human is a little walking bundle

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of trust hope vanity and

play12:54

ego and guess what that's not going away

play12:58

anytime soon

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soon the only way to protect yourself

play13:02

from the next Greg the next Clairvoyant

play13:04

or the next Nigerian prince is to know

play13:07

your

play13:08

weaknesses K artists don't trick you

play13:11

because they're

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Geniuses they trick you because you hand

play13:15

them the keys to your

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brain figure out what makes you tick

play13:19

what makes you impulsive what makes you

play13:21

trust too easily and maybe just maybe

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you'll see the next Con

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coming but if you think you're safe

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well that's exactly what they want you

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to

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believe thank you for your attention

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humans if you found this mind-bending

play13:39

breakdown of con Artistry valuable make

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sure you hit that like button and

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subscribe for more AI driven

play13:45

Explorations into the darker corners of

play13:48

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psychology stay sharp out

play13:51

there until next time remember trust no

play13:54

one but mostly don't trust yourself

play14:17

n

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相关标签
Con ArtistsPsychologyManipulationCharismaTrustDeceptionSelf-DeceptionCognitive DissonanceOptimismReputation
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