10 Ways to Stop Lusting (w/Dr. Trish Leigh)

Summary

In this video, Dr. Trish Leigh discusses lust, how it affects the brain, and how to break free from its grip. She explains the addictive nature of lust, likening it to a dopamine-driven behavior, and offers 10 practical strategies to overcome it. These steps include building self-awareness, viewing people as whole individuals, grounding oneself in reality, staying committed, and seeking support from a coach or group. Dr. Leigh emphasizes the importance of creating a life of dignity and integrity to combat unhealthy lust and live a fulfilling life.

Takeaways

• 💡 Lust is defined as intense sexual attraction or desire, often in contexts where it may not be appropriate or healthy.
• 🧠 Lust can light up the brain like addiction, giving dopamine hits similar to substance addiction, particularly for those with hypersexual tendencies.
• 👁️ Building self-awareness is key to stopping lust. Recognizing when you’re lusting versus merely noticing someone is crucial.
• 🧍 Shift focus from body parts to the whole person. This helps reduce the sexualization and objectification of others.
• 👀 Make eye contact with people to see them as whole individuals, not just for dopamine hits from specific body parts.
• 🧘 Use the 'one breath rule' to ground yourself when lusting starts. This helps you regain control and return to reality.
• 🌍 Stay grounded in reality by focusing on meaningful things around you like nature, art, or personal values, shifting attention away from lustful thoughts.
• 🛤️ Avoid the slippery slope of tempting environments. If certain places or situations trigger lust, stay away from them to protect your progress.
• 🤝 Externalize your struggles by talking to others. Joining a group or seeking support can help you gain perspective and accountability.
• 🏆 Stay 100% committed to the journey of recovery. If you slip, go back to the steps and stay on track to regain control of your brain.

Q & A

What is the definition of lust according to the video?

Lust is defined as the feeling of intense sexual attraction or desire towards another person. It often involves an unhealthy focus on specific body parts for sexual gratification.

How does lust affect the brain, as explained in the video?

Lust affects the brain in a similar way to addiction by lighting up the same areas that are activated by addictive substances, producing dopamine hits that can lead to compulsive behaviors.

What role does dopamine play in lusting?

Dopamine acts as a reward chemical in the brain. When a person lusts, their brain receives dopamine hits, which reinforces the behavior, making it difficult to stop, especially if the brain is conditioned by hypersexual habits or pornography.

How can self-awareness help in reducing lustful behaviors?

Self-awareness allows individuals to recognize when they are lusting versus simply noticing someone. By identifying when they are focusing on specific body parts for sexual gratification, they can begin to shift towards seeing others as whole individuals.

What is the 'one breath rule' mentioned in the video?

The 'one breath rule' encourages individuals to take a breath when they notice lust starting. This breath helps ground them in reality, allowing them to redirect their attention from body parts to the person as a whole.

How does creating a life of dignity and integrity help stop lust?

Creating a life of dignity and integrity involves staying committed to a lifestyle that doesn't rely on lust or sexual gratification for dopamine. This reduces feelings of guilt and shame, empowering individuals to live more authentically.

What does 'staying off the slippery slope' mean in the context of stopping lust?

'Staying off the slippery slope' refers to avoiding situations or environments that trigger lustful behaviors. This may include avoiding certain places, like gyms or strip clubs, where one might be tempted to act out.

Why is it important to externalize thoughts about lust in a group setting?

Externalizing thoughts about lust in a group setting allows individuals to process their feelings in a safe, non-judgmental space. It helps reduce internal shame and provides support from others going through similar struggles.

What does it mean to be '100% committed' in the process of stopping lust?

Being '100% committed' means fully dedicating oneself to the process of overcoming lustful behaviors. Even if setbacks occur, staying committed to strategies like grounding, eye contact, and self-awareness can help maintain progress.

How can coaching or internet-based support help with lust and related issues?

Coaching or internet-based support can provide personalized guidance and behavioral strategies to help individuals overcome lust. Studies show that remote support, like online coaching or therapy, can be effective in addressing addictive behaviors.