Embracing Thought: The Power of Language and Choice | David Fisher | TEDxYouth@MageeSecondary

Summary

The speaker reflects on how changing the mindset from 'I have to' to 'I get to' can empower individuals and change their perspective on life. By framing tasks as opportunities rather than obligations, it fosters a sense of choice and personal agency. This approach can influence not only oneself but also the people around them through a ripple effect. The speaker emphasizes that while it may be challenging to shift this mindset, doing so can lead to more fulfilling relationships and experiences, ultimately contributing to positive change on a broader scale.

Takeaways

• 😊 Shifting from 'I have to' to 'I get to' empowers us by creating a sense of choice rather than obligation.
• 📺 The speaker grew up watching older TV shows with moral lessons, which influenced their perspective on responsibility and expectations.
• 🧠 Our brains compartmentalize experiences, often reinforcing negative self-beliefs like being 'stupid' or 'clumsy' based on past events.
• 🎓 Changing our language from 'I have to' to 'I get to' can reframe our mindset towards opportunities and challenges, such as studying or working.
• 💬 The words we use impact our sense of empowerment, allowing us to take control of our actions rather than feeling burdened by them.
• 👂 We 'get to' listen to others, such as family or friends, and this act of listening can positively influence our relationships and social connections.
• 🌍 Our actions and attitudes affect others in ways that extend beyond immediate interactions, impacting people through three degrees of influence.
• 💡 The speaker shared a personal story about realizing this shift in perspective with their daughter, emphasizing the importance of choice.
• 🗣 The speaker humorously reflected on how they themselves fell into the 'have to' mindset while preparing this very speech.
• 🎉 Embracing the mindset of 'I get to' allows us to see opportunities in everyday tasks and interactions, fostering personal growth and positive influence.

Q & A

What personal experience does the speaker share at the beginning of the speech?

The speaker shares that they grew up with their grandparents after their father passed away when they were five years old.

How does the speaker describe the influence of TV shows from the 1950s on their childhood?

The speaker recalls watching TV shows like 'Leave it to Beaver' and 'I Love Lucy' with their grandparents, noting that these shows often featured moral lessons and involved children learning responsibility, such as apologizing for mistakes.

What is the main issue the speaker identifies with the phrase 'have to'?

The speaker argues that saying 'I have to' is disempowering because it feels like an obligation and removes the sense of choice in performing an action.

How does the brain respond to negative thoughts, according to the speaker?

The speaker explains that the brain creates mental 'files' for experiences, such as 'stupid' or 'clumsy' moments, and categorizes similar experiences together, which reinforces negative self-perceptions.

What alternative does the speaker offer to the phrase 'have to'?

The speaker suggests replacing 'have to' with 'get to,' which reframes the activity as a privilege or opportunity, thus creating a more empowering mindset.

How does the speaker address the issue of toxic positivity in relation to changing one's mindset?

The speaker clarifies that this approach is not about dismissing negative emotions. It's important to acknowledge and sit with difficult feelings, but the reframing helps create a more positive perspective over time.

What example does the speaker give to illustrate how reframing 'have to' can change one’s mindset?

The speaker gives the example of someone getting married. Instead of saying 'I have to get married,' one would say 'I get to get married,' which feels more empowering and joyful.

What research does the speaker cite to support the idea of personal influence extending to others?

The speaker references sociologist Nicholas Christakis, who theorized that our influence extends to three degrees, meaning that how we treat others can affect not only them but also their friends and their friends' friends.

What final anecdote does the speaker share about practicing the 'get to' mindset?

The speaker shares a personal story about preparing a speech. Despite advocating for using 'get to' instead of 'have to,' they caught themselves saying 'I have to prepare a speech,' which led to an 'existential crisis' and a moment of self-reflection.

What is the overall message the speaker wants to convey to the audience?

The speaker encourages the audience to reframe their thinking from 'have to' to 'get to,' which can create a sense of empowerment and positivity in their daily lives. This shift can also influence others and contribute to positive change in the world.