HOW TO STOP TANTRUMS FOREVER! (3 Easy Steps) | Dr. Paul
Summary
TLDRIn this video, Dr. Paul shares effective strategies for managing difficult behaviors in preschoolers and young children. He emphasizes three key methods: isolation timeouts with no emotional reaction, redirecting negative behavior before it escalates, and using 'Instagram moments' to reinforce positive actions with enthusiastic praise. A parent shares her success story, explaining how these techniques transformed her child’s behavior, resulting in fewer tantrums and a more peaceful home environment. Dr. Paul encourages parents to try these simple but effective techniques and share their results.
Takeaways
- 😀 Parents struggling with difficult preschool-age behavior (e.g., tantrums, hitting, biting) will benefit from advice shared.
- 😲 One parent had a breakthrough after applying the recommended strategies, transforming their child's behavior.
- 🤖 Strategy 1: Use timeouts with isolation and no emotion. Parents should act like a robot, remaining calm and neutral.
- 🛏️ Timeouts should occur in a safe place, like the child’s room, and the child is only released when they calm down.
- 👀 Strategy 2: Use redirection to divert a child’s attention before they act out (e.g., pointing out something interesting).
- 📸 Strategy 3: Use ‘Instagram moments’ to positively reinforce good behavior by energetically praising small actions (e.g., complimenting their outfit).
- 🌈 Parents should aim for 20 positive moments per day to shift the child's attention towards good behavior.
- 🙌 The parent who implemented these strategies saw a significant improvement in their child, with fewer tantrums and no more aggressive behavior like biting.
- 💡 The real success came from changing the parent's approach, not blaming the child.
- 💬 While the comment section is disabled for safety reasons, the video encourages viewers to try the tips and share the video with others.
Q & A
What age group of children does the video primarily address regarding behavior management?
-The video primarily addresses the behavior management of preschool-age children, though it also mentions some early school years.
What kind of behavioral issues are discussed in the video?
-The video discusses various behavioral issues, including tantrums, hitting, biting, and general out-of-control behavior in young children.
What is the first strategy recommended for handling difficult behavior in children?
-The first strategy recommended is using 'time out' in isolation, where the child is placed in a safe space with no emotion or anger shown by the parent, similar to a robot. The child can come out when they are calm.
Why is it important for the parent to act like a 'robot' during the timeout process?
-Acting like a 'robot' ensures that the parent remains calm and emotionless, avoiding giving the child any emotional reactions that might encourage further disruptive behavior.
What is the second strategy for managing children's behavior mentioned in the video?
-The second strategy is 'redirecting,' where the parent distracts the child from engaging in unwanted behavior by drawing their attention to something else, like toys or activities, before the misbehavior occurs.
How does the 'redirect' strategy help in managing difficult behavior in children?
-The 'redirect' strategy helps by distracting the child from their intended disruptive behavior, preventing the action from occurring and thereby avoiding the need for discipline afterward.
What is the third strategy discussed for managing children’s behavior?
-The third strategy is called the 'Instagram moment,' where the parent uses energy and excitement to describe and praise positive behavior or things they observe, reinforcing good behavior with attention.
Why is it called the 'Instagram moment' strategy, and what does it aim to achieve?
-It is called the 'Instagram moment' to convey the idea of capturing positive moments with enthusiasm, similar to sharing highlights on social media. It aims to reinforce positive behavior through verbal acknowledgment and attention.
How did implementing these strategies affect the child mentioned in the video?
-Implementing these strategies led to a significant change in the child's behavior. The child stopped biting her sister, damaging furniture, and became calmer around the baby, resulting in a more manageable environment for the family.
What is the key takeaway from the video for parents struggling with difficult child behavior?
-The key takeaway is that consistent application of these three strategies—time out with isolation, redirection, and the 'Instagram moment'—can result in a positive change in the child's behavior, making it more manageable for the parent.
Outlines
👶 Handling Preschool Behavior: Common Challenges and Solutions
The speaker introduces the topic of managing difficult behavior in preschool-aged children, discussing various issues such as tantrums, hitting, and biting. They promise to share advice given to a parent that yielded positive results, and recount how a parent was struggling with their child’s tantrums before trying this advice.
🤖 Key Tip 1: Timeouts in Isolation with a Calm, Robotic Approach
The first strategy the speaker offers is the use of timeouts, explaining that they must be done in isolation and without emotion. The speaker emphasizes acting like a robot—calm and unemotional—when managing a child during a timeout. They recall their own experience with their children fighting and how a timeout helped, even sharing the humorous moment when they realized their children fought only when they were home.
🚗 Key Tip 2: Redirecting the Behavior Before it Escalates
The second strategy focuses on redirection. The speaker explains that when a child is about to act out, like hitting or causing trouble, it's better to redirect their attention to something else. By drawing attention to something exciting, like cars outside the window, the parent can prevent the misbehavior before it occurs.
📸 Key Tip 3: Creating 'Instagram Moments' to Reinforce Positive Behavior
The third tip, called 'Instagram moments,' is about energetically praising a child's positive actions, even something as simple as wearing a dress. The speaker encourages parents to be energetic and specific in their praise, reinforcing good behavior by paying attention to their children’s actions in a positive light.
✨ Success Story: Positive Results with a Calm and Consistent Approach
The speaker shares the success story of the parent who applied these strategies and saw a significant improvement in their child’s behavior. The child stopped biting and causing damage, becoming calmer and more manageable. The parent admits that it was their previous approach that had not been working, and this new method, especially the calmness and consistency, brought about real change.
👪 Closing Advice and Encouragement for Parents
In the conclusion, the speaker encourages viewers to follow the three tips consistently for effective results. They express disappointment about the comment section being disabled due to the pediatric nature of the content but urge viewers to share the video with others. The speaker signs off with gratitude and a hopeful message for parents who are facing similar challenges.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Timeout
💡Isolation
💡Redirect
💡Instagram moment
💡Tantrums
💡Energy
💡Discipline
💡Parent involvement
💡Behavior management
💡Preschool-aged children
Highlights
Discussing challenges of managing difficult behavior in preschool children, such as tantrums and hitting.
The speaker mentions a parent's struggle with their child's behavior, including tantrums lasting 90 minutes.
The child's behavior was significantly different at daycare compared to home, sparking an 'aha' moment.
The speaker shares personal experience with their children fighting only when they were home.
First method: Timeouts should be done in isolation with no emotion, like a robot, to avoid reinforcing bad behavior.
Emphasizes the importance of removing all emotional energy during a timeout and allowing the child to come back when calm.
Second method: Redirecting attention before bad behavior happens by offering a distraction, such as talking about nearby objects.
The speaker explains how redirecting can prevent bad behavior and how it’s more effective than reacting afterward.
Third method: Use an 'Instagram moment,' praising the child’s positive behavior or appearance with energy and enthusiasm.
Parents are encouraged to give positive feedback 20 times a day, using high energy to reinforce good behavior.
The parent reports a dramatic improvement in their child’s behavior after implementing these methods.
The child no longer throws tantrums, bites, or damages furniture after using timeouts, redirection, and positive reinforcement.
The parent attributes the success to changing their approach, as suggested by the speaker.
The speaker emphasizes consistency in using these methods and the importance of not being drawn into emotional conflicts.
The parent shares the success story with friends, emphasizing that the methods work and bring peace to the household.
Transcripts
so viewers have you ever had a child
whose behavior is just difficult to
manage I'm talking mostly the preschool
age group
maybe a little into the early school
years but especially those preschoolers
maybe they're throwing tantrums maybe
they're having behavior issues that are
just like out of control could be
hitting could be biting could be
anything I've got the solution for you
because you're gonna get to hear from a
parent what advice I gave and then how
it worked out let's go take a look we
had a visit how long ago was that it was
middle of July so it's just been a month
and that particular visit you were at
your wits end we were having I think a
lot of tantrums yes 90 minutes to settle
down just everything was just out of
control
she also was going to take care yes part
time part time and not really having a
lot of trouble there right that was a
little aha for me so I'm gonna tell on
myself I had three biological sons the
oldest is behind the camera and the next
two fought like they were going to kill
each other for years I mean one time
they had broken cue sticks and they were
going at each other's faces I thought
they're gonna poke their eyes out as an
oh my lord so I'm working all day coming
home to cook for the family we had a
huge family some of you know my story
nine or ten kids that's another video ah
but somehow they were always fighting so
the guy that's behind the camera my
oldest comes to me and says you know
what dad do you realize they only fight
when you're home
like no way no that's not possible
go ask everybody else he told me so I
did and guess what yep yep what I
somehow was the catalyst of the
shoes so anyway we kind of had that aha
moment and I was like okay here's what
you do doesn't matter what the challenge
is I'm gonna tell you three things and
it works like every time number one if
you're gonna do time out it has to be
isolation and you do it as if you are a
robot the timeouts usually for something
that's like kid is out of control
there's no reasoning there's no talking
they're just out of control
isolation time out in a safe place
usually it's their room and I'm like a
robot no emotion I'm not angry I'm just
all honey please
I guess until you can be quiet here's
your mom as soon as you can be quiet you
can come out be with mommy more like oh
my goodness and then all of a sudden
it's quiet oh oh not ready yet if you
have to put a latch just don't forget
but you could walk away you could walk
away and as soon as they're quiet though
Oh mommy the moms in then we can be
together I'm just so happy we get it and
they are rewarded for right the silence
the good behavior being together is what
we want anyway
all right that's number one timeout it
has to be like a robot in isolation
number two is something I would call
redirect so say my youngest son was
about to poke his brother and I see it
coming you know parents you'll see this
we got siblings and they're about to do
something you just have to Cepeda it and
you go oh my goodness did you see all
these cars over here in the window wow
there's there's a red one there's a
white one there's a gray one there's so
many cars now you can see whatever they
were about to do see those cars let me
see the card so you can tell that
they've forgotten they were about to go
whack Johnny or whatever right so always
choose redirect versus waiting till
they've done their deed and then you
have to no no no or whatever and finally
finally I'm going to show you the third
thing so remember isolation timeout with
no energy or emotion to redirect if
possible rather than waiting for the
event and then having the discipline and
the third is called a Kodak moment
actually it's a new era you guys
watching younger folks you don't even
know what Kodak is we're gonna call this
the Instagram moment okay so and what is
it you're going to verbally with energy
describe what you see oh my goodness you
got the nicest pink dress today it's got
white lines all across it that is so
cool oh it's yellow oh it's a yellow
dress I thought it was pink oh my
goodness
no you know we got some energy and we
got some good happiness here without
having to do anything you just wearing a
dress so you want to catch about 20
times a day takes about five to 10
seconds max oh my goodness you've got
your blocks out or now notice it's
always a energy you just parents you've
got to put it up a notch or two or three
five 10 seconds and they love it
it's amazing now you don't have to be
pokken to get that energy my kids didn't
have to fight to get me to pay attention
right so those are your three tips oh by
the way how did it work
it's we have a different child where I
mean she's a different child I'm not
worried about her around the baby
anymore she doesn't bite her sister her
big sister anymore which have been she I
don't I mean she hasn't ruined any
furniture and which was a thing and so
it just it's she's a different child and
when I you know after I left here and I
told all my girlfriends was like
yeah he said I was what do you mean you
know I'm all involved in everything else
but that's risky to do but it was true
yeah it was it wasn't actually it wasn't
you well it was the approach it was my
approach yeah because my approach didn't
work for my kids either and I mean and
we I went home and I told my husband and
we started changing things and it worked
it worked I'm so happy I'm so happy
thank you so much great awesome so there
you go folks it is simple but you do
have to do it right right you've got to
follow through with those Instagram
moments if you will and the redirecting
and then not getting sucked in the time
outs where you're putting all your
energy that has to be just isolation
robot and you will have a whole
different kid you guys thanks for
watching try this out if it works for
you give us some comments tell us some
stories a comment section or disable our
comments got disabled that's right
they've done that because it's a
pediatric channel and they don't want
weird comments that might be harmful to
kids I get it
I totally understand it darn you see
them we miss interacting with you but
keep watching please share this is gonna
be an important one for anybody who's
trying to raise a young child thanks for
watching I'm dr. Paulin thank you
thank you for that
there was never better time because you
just lived and I was just so excited was
so hot that we could have gotten how you
were the first day you were in tears now
he can hold you no she didn't like to be
yeah yeah this wasn't I think so I'm
gonna light it for you guys take care
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