Kunci dari Kebahagiaan = Bersikap Bodo Amat?! Maudy Ayunda's Booklist

Summary

In this booklist episode, Maudy Ayunda explores 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck' by Mark Manson. The book challenges readers to confront life's endless problems head-on and reframe them as exciting challenges. Manson advises focusing energy on what truly matters, advocating for a selective approach to life's concerns. He also encourages finding joy in the ordinary, reminding us that happiness and success can be found in everyday moments, not just grand achievements. The summary invites viewers to reflect on their priorities and the true sources of their happiness.

Takeaways

• 📚 The book 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck' by Mark Manson is a self-help guide that offers pragmatic and blunt life advice.
• 🔍 Life is presented as an endless series of problems, and the author suggests facing them one at a time to avoid creating new issues.
• 💡 Manson encourages changing our mindset from avoiding problems to seeking out those that excite and challenge us.
• 🚫 The book advises against saying 'f*ck it' to everything, but rather to focus on what truly matters and let go of the less important things.
• 🌱 As we mature, we should become more selective about the things we care about, as not everything we fixate on in our 20s has a lasting impact.
• 💖 Happiness and success can be found in ordinary moments, not just in grand achievements, and we should define our own terms of what they mean.
• 📈 Social media can create a culture of competition and comparison, but true happiness comes from within and not from external validation.
• 🤔 The book prompts readers to self-reflect on what they consider important and to align it with their life values.
• ⚠️ The phrase 'Fake it till you make it' can be dangerous as it may lead to toxic positivity; it's crucial to acknowledge life's unpredictability.
• 🎁 The speaker invites listeners to recommend books for review and offers a special gift to the best comment, encouraging engagement with the audience.

Q & A

Who is the author of the book 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck'?

The author of the book 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck' is Mark Manson.

What genre is Mark Manson known for?

Mark Manson is known for his work in the self-help genre.

What is the main theme of the book 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck'?

The main theme of the book is learning to prioritize what truly matters in life and not getting bogged down by unimportant things.

What does the author suggest as the first way to face life's problems?

The first way to face life's problems suggested by the author is to confront them one at a time, as avoidance leads to a fear-cycle and creates new problems.

How does the author propose changing our mindset towards problems?

The author proposes changing our mindset from 'How to get rid of these problems?' to 'What are the problems that make me excited?' and 'What are the problems that are worth fighting for?'

What is the second insight shared in the book about saving energy?

The second insight is to save energy for things that actually matter, focusing on what truly impacts our lives rather than getting fixated on trivial matters.

What does the author mean by 'maturity' in the context of the book?

In the context of the book, 'maturity' is achieved when we learn to care only about things that really matter and let go of the unimportant.

What is the third insight about taking pleasure in the ordinary?

The third insight is that happiness and success can be found in ordinary, everyday moments, and not just in big, celebratory achievements.

How does social media influence our perception of happiness according to the book?

Social media can create a culture of competition and comparison, making us overlook the happiness found in small, everyday moments.

What is the author's reminder about the value of ordinary things?

The author reminds us that just because something looks basic or simple doesn't mean it's not valuable; sometimes, the ordinary is what truly matters.

What is the narrator's personal realization after reading the book?

The narrator realizes that the quote 'Fake it till you make it' can be dangerous and that it's important to acknowledge that life may not always go as planned.

Outlines

00:00

📚 Embracing Life's Inevitable Problems

Maudy Ayunda introduces 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck' by Mark Manson, a self-help book that offers pragmatic and blunt life advice. The book suggests that life is an endless series of problems, and instead of avoiding them, we should confront them one at a time. This approach breaks the fear cycle that can lead to new problems. Manson encourages readers to change their mindset from trying to eliminate problems to seeking out problems that excite and are worth fighting for. He argues that some problems are mere illusions, and by redefining their significance, we can determine their impact on our lives.

05:02

💪 Prioritizing What Truly Matters

The second insight from the book emphasizes the importance of focusing on what truly matters in life. Manson advises against indiscriminately rejecting everything and instead to be selective about the things we care about. As we mature, we should prioritize based on lasting impact. The author shares his own priorities, such as family, friends, and personal interests, and encourages readers to reflect on their own. This selective approach simplifies life and is a sign of maturity, according to Manson.

🌟 Finding Joy in the Ordinary

The third insight challenges the notion that happiness and success are only found in grand achievements. Manson reminds us that small, everyday moments can also be sources of joy and fulfillment. He critiques the culture of comparison fostered by social media and suggests that we should define our own terms of happiness and success. The book serves as a self-intervention tool, prompting readers to evaluate their values and the importance they place on different aspects of life, and to acknowledge that life may not always go as planned.

🔍 Reflecting on the Book's Impact

Maudy Ayunda concludes the discussion on 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck' by reflecting on how the book has prompted her to reassess her values and priorities. She critiques the phrase 'Fake it till you make it' as potentially fostering toxic positivity and emphasizes the importance of accepting that life may not always follow our plans. Ayunda invites viewers to recommend books for her to read and share insights, offering a special message with a book to the best comment. She reminds viewers to subscribe, like, comment, and turn on notifications for more content.

Keywords

💡Problems

In the context of the video, 'problems' refers to the endless series of challenges and issues one encounters in life. The author, Mark Manson, suggests that instead of avoiding them, we should confront them one at a time, as avoidance can lead to a fear-cycle and the creation of new problems. This concept is central to the video's theme of facing life's adversities with a pragmatic approach.

💡Exciting Problems

This term is used to describe the mindset shift from viewing problems as burdens to seeing them as opportunities for growth and excitement. The video encourages viewers to seek out problems that are worth fighting for, thereby changing the way we perceive and engage with life's challenges.

💡Confrontation

Confrontation, as discussed in the video, is the act of facing problems head-on rather than avoiding them. It is presented as a solution to breaking free from the fear-cycle and is integral to the author's advice on dealing with life's issues effectively.

💡Fear-cycle

The 'fear-cycle' is a concept introduced to illustrate the vicious circle that results from avoiding problems. It implies that by not addressing our initial issues, we create a cycle of fear and additional problems, which further complicates our lives.

💡Mindset

Mindset, in this video, refers to the attitude or perspective one holds towards life's problems. The author advocates for a change in mindset from trying to eliminate problems to embracing those that are exciting and meaningful, which is a key takeaway for personal growth.

💡Selective Caring

Selective Caring is the idea of focusing one's energy and concern on what truly matters. The video suggests that as we mature, we should prioritize our values and interests, letting go of the unimportant to simplify life and achieve a sense of maturity.

💡Maturity

Maturity, as defined in the video, is the state of being selective about what one cares about and focusing on what truly matters in life. It is presented as a result of personal growth and self-awareness, where one learns to differentiate between the significant and the trivial.

💡Ordinary Pleasures

This term highlights the importance of finding happiness in everyday, seemingly ordinary activities. The video challenges the notion that happiness and success are solely derived from grand achievements, reminding viewers to appreciate the small joys in life.

💡Toxic Positivity

Toxic Positivity is a concept that the video warns against, suggesting that an unrealistic insistence on always being positive can be harmful. It implies that acknowledging life's ups and downs is healthier than maintaining a facade of constant optimism.

💡Reality Check

A 'reality check' in the video refers to the process of self-reflection and evaluation of one's values and priorities. It is a call to action for viewers to assess what they consider important and align it with their life values, which is a crucial step towards personal development.

💡Self-Intervention

Self-Intervention is the act of taking control of one's life by making conscious decisions and changes based on self-reflection. The video positions reading the book as a form of self-intervention, prompting viewers to evaluate and possibly alter their approach to life.

Highlights

The book 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck' by Mark Manson is a New York Times Bestseller known for its science-based, pragmatic, and blunt life advice.

Life is described as an endless series of problems that will never end, only changing or getting bigger.

Avoiding problems leads to a fear-cycle, creating new problems instead of solving the initial ones.

Changing our mindset to seek out 'exciting' problems can help us determine the significance of problems in our lives.

The book suggests saving energy for things that truly matter, rather than being overly concerned with trivial matters.

As we mature, we should become more selective about the things we care about, focusing on what has a lasting impact on our lives.

Maturity is achieved by caring only about things that really matter, such as family, friends, and personal priorities.

Happiness and success can be found in ordinary moments, not just in big celebratory events.

Social media can create a culture of competition and comparison, but true happiness is personal and can be found in simple activities.

The author reminds us that ordinary things might be simple but are valuable because they matter in our lives.

The book prompts self-reflection, encouraging readers to evaluate what they consider important and align it with their life values.

The concept of 'Fake it till you make it' can be dangerous as it might lead to toxic positivity.

It's important to acknowledge that life may not always go as planned, and that's okay.

The book invites readers to share their favorite insights and book recommendations in the comments.

The best comment will receive a copy of the book with a special message from the author.

Encouragement for viewers to subscribe, like, comment, and turn on notifications for more content.

Transcripts

Hi, Curious People Maudy Ayunda here.

Welcome to my booklist

where I'll be sharing interesting insights

from the books I've read.

Today, we're gonna dissect the book titled,

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson.

Mark Manson is a New York Times Bestselling authour from America

in Self-help genre.

And Mark Manson is known for his life advices

that are considered as science-based, pragmatic,

and blunt.

If you read the book reviews,

many said that this book gives life advice that doesn’t suck.

And this book is highly requested by Curious People,

so I’m really excited to get into it.

Let's go to the insights!

Insight No.1:

Look for an "exciting" problem.

Do you often feel like,

“Oh my, why are there so many problems in life???”

In fact, the author says that

this life is actually an

endless series of problems.

Tumpukan masalah yang nggak ada ujungnya.

Because the fact is, our problems in life will never end.

Instead, they will only change or just getting bigger.

Well, to face these problems,

the author gives 2 ways.

First one, well... it may sound annoying.

But, just face it one at a time.

Usually, we tend to avoid problems

because we don't have the courage and belief

that we can actually face it.

However, Mark Manson thinks that,

the solution lays in the confrontation process,

because when we avoid the problems,

we're actually positioning ourselves in a fear-cycle that will become another source of a new problem.

So by avoiding our initial problem, we're actually creating a new one.

The second one,

let's change our mindset,

from "How to get rid of these problems?", to

"What are the problems that make me excited?"

"What are the problems that are worth fighting for?"

Manson reckon that actually

there are some problems in life that are just...

illusions.

Making the situation seems overwhelming,

messy, and knotted.

Well, by changing our mindset that way

we have the freedom

to determine the meaning of the problems in our own lives

and how significant their impacts are for us.

Actually,

problems are inevitable but what they mean is flexible.

Insight No.2:

Save your energy for things that actually matter.

So, there's this one quote in this book,

that I think is really good and capture the essence of this book,

Don't say f*ck it to everything in life,

just to the unimportant things.

Jangan bersikap bodo amat ke semua hal,

tapi ke hal-hal yang emang kurang penting aja.

Like, for example, in our 20s

we tend to feel like every thing is important,

and we want to change based on other people's opinions,

perhaps also because we're also in the process of searching for our own identity.

But as we're getting mature,

the author encourage us to be more selective

in choosing things that we care for.

Because chances are the little things that we are hyper-fixated on in our 20s

have little lasting impact on our lives.

With this, our life will certainly feel more simple.

But for the author, that's what maturity is.

Maturity is achieved when we actually care only to things that really matter.

For the author,

things that he prioritized are

his family, friends, and his golf swing.

And for me, it's relationships with my closest circle,

to learn and work that gives impact.

So, how about you guys?

Have a think about it.

Insight no.3:

Take pleasures is in the ordinary

We can't deny that big things

like getting our dream job or

overseas vacation,

they are closely associated with happiness.

To the point that we're forgetting that

small moments such as reading our favorite books,

reconnecting with old friends,

eating out at our favorite restaurants,

are actually also sources of happiness.

Sometimes it's about the small moments.

Social media sometimes makes us know more about other people's lives

and their achievements

and in the end, it creates the culture that's

filled with competitions and comparisons.

But Mark Manson reminds us that

happiness and success don't always have to be these big celebratory moments.

We actually can define our own terms of

what we call as happiness and success.

And as long as we're happy in doing those things,

no one can say that we're not successful

and happy with our lives.

Another reminder from the author that is quite powerful for me,

just because they look basic or simple doesn't mean they're not valuable.

Maybe they're ordinary for a reason because they're what actually matters.

Hanya karena sesuatu terlihat simpel,

bukan berarti mereka nggak berharga.

Kadang-kadang hal-hal yang penting memang bisa terlihat biasa saja.

And now, so what?

Reading this book, makes me feel like in the process of self-intervention

because I'm forced to do a reality check,

and evaluate things that I consider important and align with

my life values.

After reading this book, I realized that

the quote, you know, “Fake it till you make it”

sometimes it can be a bit dangerous

as it could create toxic positivity.

For me, it's also important to admit that life may not always goes like how

we plan it to be.

and yeah, but that’s just how it is.

Okay, thanks for listening Curious People!

If you want me to read a book and share with you my favorite insights

please give book recommendations in the comment down below.

Also, for the best comment,

I will give you this book with a special message from me.

So, don't forget to subscribe, like, comment and

turn on notifications.

Bye!