College Transfer Essay Writing Made Easy
Summary
TLDRThe video script is a guide for students transferring from Laurel Ridge Community College, focusing on crafting a compelling transfer essay. It emphasizes the importance of a personal statement that showcases dedication, academic focus, community involvement, and value to the institution. The guide advises on highlighting unique backgrounds, overcoming obstacles, and expressing excitement for future opportunities at the new institution. It also covers writing tips, such as avoiding plagiarism, using descriptive language, and planning the essay structure. The presenter encourages students to reflect on their experiences, like navigating the pandemic, to demonstrate growth and potential.
Takeaways
- 😀 The presentation focuses on writing a transfer essay for students moving from Laurel Ridge Community College to another institution.
- 📚 The personal statement is the most consistent part of the transfer application and is the primary focus of the presentation.
- 💡 Students should highlight their dedication to academics, community involvement, and how they can be a valuable addition to the new institution.
- 🔍 It's important to communicate effectively and demonstrate strong writing skills to the admissions committee.
- 🌟 A key aspect of the essay is to show a mature reflection of one's background, both academic and personal, in a positive light.
- 🚀 The essay should convey the student's unique personality and potential, moving beyond just their GPA.
- 🤝 Students are encouraged to discuss how they have grown from their experiences and how they can contribute to the new institution's community.
- 🔍 The essay should be well-structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion that do not merely repeat each other.
- ✍️ Using specific and unique language, including verbs and descriptors, can help the essay stand out, but clarity should not be sacrificed for complexity.
- 🔄 The importance of revising and editing the essay multiple times, using tools like Spellcheck, and getting feedback from others is emphasized.
Q & A
What is the main focus of the presentation?
-The main focus of the presentation is to guide students on writing a transfer essay, specifically for those transferring from Laurel Ridge Community College to another institution.
What are the key elements a student should include in their transfer essay?
-Students should include their dedication to academics, community involvement, and how they can be a valuable addition to the new institution. They should also demonstrate clear communication and writing skills.
Why is it important for students to discuss their background in a transfer essay?
-Discussing one's background is important because institutions value varied academic and personal backgrounds. It helps the student stand out and shows maturity in their approach.
How should a student address transferring from multiple institutions in their essay?
-A student should discuss their transfers in a positive light, focusing on the excitement for new opportunities and growth rather than dwelling on any negative aspects of previous institutions.
What is the significance of showing potential and dedication in a transfer essay?
-Showing potential and dedication is significant because it highlights the student's commitment to their academic and personal growth, which is attractive to the new institution.
Why is it beneficial for a student to discuss their unique perspective in the essay?
-Discussing a unique perspective is beneficial as it adds depth and complexity to the student's narrative, demonstrating that they bring a valuable and independent viewpoint to the institution.
How can a student effectively talk about their obstacles in a transfer essay?
-A student can effectively talk about their obstacles by framing them as experiences that they have grown from, focusing on the positive outcomes and how they have used these challenges to improve.
What advice does the presenter give regarding the use of descriptive language in the essay?
-The presenter advises that while descriptive language can be powerful, it should be used sparingly and effectively. It should enhance the essay without becoming excessive or detracting from the main points.
Why is it crucial for students to plan their essay before writing?
-Planning the essay before writing is crucial as it helps to organize thoughts, create a clear structure, and ensure that all points are relevant and contribute to the overall message of the essay.
What are some strategies the presenter suggests for revising and refining the essay?
-The presenter suggests multiple readings, drafting, using tools like Spellcheck, and having someone else read the essay for feedback. Additionally, reading the essay out loud can help identify tone and structural issues.
Outlines
📚 Introduction to Writing a Transfer Essay
The speaker begins by introducing the topic of writing a transfer essay, specifically for students transferring from Laurel Ridge Community College to another institution. They emphasize the importance of the personal statement as the most common essay type in transfer applications. The speaker advises students to discuss their dedication to academics, community involvement, and how they can contribute to the new institution. They also highlight the need to communicate effectively and to show a mature approach to discussing one's background, including previous academic institutions.
🎨 Crafting a Positive and Personal Narrative
In this paragraph, the speaker focuses on the importance of portraying oneself positively and personally in the essay. They discuss the challenge of talking about oneself in a positive light and suggest that students should highlight their unique perspectives and experiences, such as overcoming obstacles or showing dedication during the pandemic. The speaker encourages students to discuss their interests and potential, and to show how they have grown and learned from their experiences. They also provide examples of how to discuss changes in one's academic path positively, focusing on the excitement for future opportunities rather than dwelling on past limitations.
🔍 Highlighting Unique Aspects and Opportunities
The speaker discusses how to highlight what makes the student unique and excited about transferring. They provide examples of personal statements that show a deep connection to a field of study, such as public health, and how to use personal experiences to demonstrate dedication. The speaker also advises students to research the new institution and mention specific opportunities or programs that align with their interests and goals. They emphasize the importance of showing a well-rounded perspective and the ability to connect academic interests with community engagement.
✍️ Writing Techniques and Structuring the Essay
Here, the speaker offers advice on writing techniques and structuring the essay. They stress the importance of balancing creativity with clarity, using complex vocabulary and sentence structures without sacrificing readability. The speaker advises on the importance of planning the essay, creating an outline, and ensuring each paragraph contributes to the overall purpose. They also discuss the significance of writing an engaging introduction and conclusion, and the need to avoid plagiarism and proofread the essay carefully.
📝 Final Tips and Encouragement
In the final paragraph, the speaker provides last-minute tips and encouragement for writing the transfer essay. They suggest using unique verbs and descriptors to enhance the essay but caution against being overly complicated. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of reading the essay out loud to detect any awkward phrasing or structural issues. They recommend multiple drafts, using tools like Spellcheck, and seeking feedback from others. The speaker concludes by reminding students that the essay is an opportunity to showcase their positive attributes and how the new institution can help them achieve their goals.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Transfer Essay
💡Personal Statement
💡Academic Background
💡Community Involvement
💡Value to an Institution
💡Communication Skills
💡Positive Self-Presentation
💡Unique Perspective
💡Well-Roundedness
💡Scene-Oriented Language
💡Plagiarism
Highlights
Introduction to writing a transfer essay for students transferring from Laurel Ridge Community College.
Focus on the personal statement as the most consistent part of transfer applications.
Importance of demonstrating dedication, academic focus, community involvement, and value to the institution.
Advice on effectively communicating and writing clearly to showcase your abilities.
The necessity of discussing varied backgrounds and presenting them in a mature way.
Strategies for positively discussing previous institutions and focusing on future goals.
Emphasizing the importance of standing out as an individual beyond just a GPA.
Tips for discussing potential and how the transfer institution can help achieve academic and career goals.
Encouragement to view personal experiences, such as enduring a pandemic, as unique strengths.
Guidance on how to positively reflect on one's educational journey and future aspirations.
Advice on discussing obstacles overcome and growth from those experiences.
Importance of showing a well-rounded personality and connecting academic interests with community involvement.
Using specific examples from personal life to demonstrate dedication to a field of study.
Recommendations for researching the transfer institution and tailoring the essay to align with its opportunities.
Techniques for crafting an engaging introduction and conclusion that avoid repetition and add depth.
Advice on balancing unique vocabulary and sentence structure with clarity and readability.
The significance of planning the essay structure, including outlining and paragraphing, for clarity and impact.
Final tips on proofreading, using tools like Spellcheck, and getting feedback from others to refine the essay.
Transcripts
>> I'm go go ahead and share my screen.
One moment here.
You should see a PowerPoint coming up here.
This is writing the transfer essay.
This is specifically for students who are transferring
from Laurel Ridge Community College to another institution.
You might have two years under your belt from Laurel Ridge,
or you might have credits from different institutions,
doesn't matter and applies to everybody.
We'll go ahead and get started with this.
What we've got, it is a couple of different ways to think about this.
First off, most transfer applications include what's essentially a personal statement,
and that's usually the essay The most people have to deal with.
There are sometimes you'll come across
a common app where there are multiple essays included.
I know I had a student who had one of the questions was,
what creative it was hobby I believe,
what creative hobby allows you to immerse yourself,
and that was the essay.
There's different ones, they choose the other ones.
But the personal statement is the one that's more consistent.
That's the one I'm going to focus on for us today.
For your application down at that third mark there,
you need to be able to do a couple of things.
You need to be able to talk about yourself in a way
that shows your dedication, academics,
you're focused on improving yourself,
your involvement in community,
and how you're a valuable to an institution.
I think a lot of people forget
that last little bit about how you're a valuable to an institution.
We just have to remember our purpose here.
It's very important. It won't get further into that.
Then of course, at the bottom part is the thing that
most people pay attention to is this is your chance to
make sure that they understand that you can
communicate and that you can write clearly and that kind of thing.
That's something that is there.
Where I find is that some students focused entirely
on that and then some people completely forget about that.
It's really necessary to not lose track.
What we've got then in terms of the purpose,
we've covered the first one,
that ability to communicate.
You need to be able to cover your background
and institutions really like varied backgrounds.
They want to have students from different academic backgrounds, but also personal.
You want to be able to do this and do it in a really mature way.
I think sometimes people struggle when they've transferred from a lot of
institutions to talk about their last institutions in a positive way.
That can get a little bit tricky,
but that is ideal.
The next thing is making sure that you stick out,
but you have a personality that you're not just a GPA.
Then of course, the idea that you're going into an institution,
they don't take it transfer students with these places.
They really want to show that those transfer students can add to
their general community that they're excited to be there, that kind of thing.
That last point is really important to recognize for that.
This is an interesting, this is sad,
but I have this slide on here,
but it's actually a really important thing to notice.
A lot of people forget about this,
is that sometimes it's very difficult to talk about yourself in a positive way.
You're talking about your potential here.
You're talking about what you can do for
the remainder of the college credits that you need.
You're talking about your strengths,
but also what you can go towards.
A lot of people struggle with this.
If they don't have anything that they feel makes them really stick out.
At the same time, it's not necessarily about being this very unique person.
It's about being a person who's well-rounded and headed in a great direction.
To talk about this,
I want you to just realize a couple of things.
Just a little bit of a cheer-leading, the one for yourself.
You've gotten through a pandemic and you've gotten college credits during this that
alone for some people you can talk about that in a way that has complexity and depth,
your unique and valuable.
You have a perspective that matters.
They love perspective and everybody is independent and unique.
It's not that you don't have a perspective. It's unique.
It's that sometimes people don't show that very well.
That's a trick to this.
Then you want to think about your interests and that excitement to keep going.
You want to make sure that you're really showing that potential and your dedication.
All of these things you have,
sometimes people just forget about.
That has actively talking positively about yourself as the first point here.
You also want to think about how you are
a reflection of your institution and you want to discuss your education positively.
I mentioned this briefly.
This is really important when you're thinking about
specifically how you've made changes and you want to go forward.
Sometimes people struggle with explaining those changes I should say.
For example, if you have left a prior institution because you
weren't fond of the program that you are in and you wanted to go to a different program,
what you want to think about talking about is saying what you do and where you're headed.
What it is that you're excited about why you made that change forward.
Avoid looking back too much and focus forward on what you're excited about.
That's really the best way to think about that.
For a lot of my students who are leaving the two-year Laurel Ridge can get a small place.
Sometimes people wish that they had
more options for looking around at clubs and that kind of thing.
That makes sense because it's a small institution.
But that shouldn't be the thing that you emphasize has held you back.
Instead you should say, I'm excited to get involved in these new opportunities,
in this new place that you're going to,
that's the way to spin and make sure you're positive.
Of course, it's definitely truthful.
I mean, that's why you're transferred.
The next thing is to make sure that if you have
obstacles that you feel like you want to talk about,
maybe that's why you transferred.
Maybe you struggled a little bit in high-school and you
wanted to get your GPA under control before you continue forward.
That's not necessarily shocking to anybody.
You just want to think about it in terms of something to overcome,
I have grown from this.
Rather than saying this,
he'll be back in this he'll be back.
You want to make sure that you control this really well.
Think about it in a positive way and how all that you have
is just open time to improve yourself and to go forward.
That's what another institution is going to give you the opportunity to do.
The next thing, of course,
you have an identity and that gives you a complexity and character.
For my parents, if I have anybody in here who is a parent,
having a kid is not something that you should hold,
that should hold you back,
but element of your personality that should
make you an important unique perspective in college.
This is absolutely true.
Colleges want people with very perspective.
One of the best things that one of my professors ever said to me was you want
to go to college to meet people who are not like you.
Colleges recognize that and wanted to foster that.
Talking about this and saying how you have grown from
your unique scenarios is something that they'll want to see.
I'm going to go one more slide and then I'll see if anybody's got questions.
There are two more actually, because they go together.
In terms of how to think about how you are unique,
I'm going to talk about these as examples so that you can process it.
Now personal statement, it's usually what they're asking you is,
why are you excited to head into a transfer institution
or what are you planning to do in your next institution,
or why do you want to be there?
You want to control this really well,
make it nice and specific towards yourself.
So we have the first one is being choosing that specific route.
I'm driven to make a mark and public health and aim
to fix the very issue that drove my mother into death.
That's something that a lot of people have experienced.
Then having that personal connection to something
that's very academic makes a lot of sense and there'll be excited to have you for that.
Talking about your family background makes sense.
Especially if you're going into something that has a disconnect from family background.
But you know that it's there.
Drawing these connections in your life are really important and show that,
that dedication is very deep in what you're thinking.
That's a great way to talk about Hawaiian concept there.
The last one, you might have
a specific experience that drives your dedication to your field.
This line, I want to draw attention to it because it can be very, very helpful.
This is that's what it took my father's hands helping the catwalk.
If you're going into agriculture, if you want to go into tech,
having a scene like that can be really helpful.
In fact, in general,
if you want to make your personal statement a little bit seen oriented or descriptive,
that makes sense and it can make it very approachable and
personal and show your creative skills, your communication skills.
For people who want to do that though,
I think it can get a little bit tricky.
You want to make sure it's really control.
I always say like pay attention to your word count.
Yeah, I wouldn't develop more than four or five sentences in that direction.
You use that as a transition back to talking
about your potential, and where you're headed.
One more slide and this realm,
and then I'll pause.
You might have an interest in an opportunity or path that the university offers.
I do recommend that you research where you're headed.
You are focused on going into the sciences
and specifically laboratory science or maybe medical.
You want to see what opportunities they have for students at
the institution that you're looking at and see if you can specify it towards them.
For example, if you notice that they're bringing
undergraduates to assist tagging turtle populations for example,
and you're going to go into ecology.
Then referencing that and saying that you
hope to do that shows that you're doing the work,
you're thinking about it and you're
processing what it is that you are hoping to get involved in.
Remember, they want you to be an involved,
active person in their community.
Then having that connected to academia is just even sweeter.
That's definitely a goal there.
There's also the drive to make
connections between academia and community in general is nice.
The dentistry option there is a good idea for those of you
who are going into a field that is very practical,
often for financially driven.
It's really important to show that you're thinking about this in a well-rounded way.
You show your interests and you can make connections to your general social dedication.
In other words, dentistry for me,
it's also a chance to provide free services to...,
which by the way, a lot of dentists do, and it's fantastic.
They do a lot of volunteer stuff.
That open heart concept that you're dedicating yourself to is really,
can be really important.
Then the last one here is,
it's nice to cross between academic viewpoints.
You are well-rounded person.
You've done different types of classes.
You're going into a place where you're going to be more focused.
It's really important to show that well
roundedness and in how you're thinking about your next academic path.
Especially for those people who are trying
to dig for different things to make themselves interesting.
I have a stolen idea from my English 241 class.
Studying Poe for a paper in English 241 during the pandemic
woke up so much of my curiosity about how he viewed infectious disease in the past.
For those of you who are thinking about going into medical,
this reference can really show that you are
effective student and active learner and that
you're thinking about things in a complex way.
Those are just options, you don't have to follow any of these.
But I think as the things that people tend to overlook,
do I have any questions so far?
We have our silence. That's cool.
Make sure we don't have a lot of people in here.
Oh, I have something in the chat.
Let me see. Thank you, Michael.
That makes sense. I'll just keep this going.
I'll keep the chat open, feel free to let me know through that,
or if you just want to speak, that's cool too.
There's not too many people in here,
so it wouldn't be too overwhelming.
Those last two slides are really nice because
I think a lot of people don't think about this in that way.
Then this is a more of a reminder stuff that a lot of people do think about,
but we definitely don't want to forget.
When we're thinking about this,
remember that you want your writing to stand out,
but it needs to be short and controlled.
I designed this slide because when you go
online and you look at the different recommendations,
there's a lot of do's and don'ts.
It's not necessarily a bad way to think about it,
but what I like to think about this instead is a balance in terms of your options.
You want to balance between extremes.
In other words, you can make your writing stand out,
but it still needs to be really controlled.
You can't get too flowery, too detailed.
You want to make sure that you're coming across in a very even-keeled manner.
Remember that you want to use complex vocabulary and
correct sentence structure, but it needs to be clear.
You don't need to go for vocabulary that's so far into
the profession that you're going to go into that
the reader is not going to understand it.
Remember that your admission's person is probably
associated with the major you're going into potentially,
sometimes they're not at all.
You can't assume that they have any prior knowledge there.
It's more like you're explaining it to somebody who's just generally an academia.
Remember that you want to present your complexity and voice,
but you need to remember your audience and give them the context they need.
In other words, make sure you don't just go too far deep into your personality,
and your background without bringing it back to why this matters.
It's very, very important for every structure within this essay to
be very connected to why this matters and how this fulfills the question.
You always want to keep your texts in mind,
and if you go through and you're like, oh,
this sentence doesn't quite fit the question itself for the essay,
then you remove it or revise it.
Remember that description and scene-oriented language can show off your skills.
It's excellent piece of advice that is really a great way to connect with people.
But again, this content has to be useful to your grader point or it seems excessive.
I find this a lot when I teach.
I teach a narrative essay,
when I teach English 111,
and I find that the students who get really excited to do description,
often will give us description that we don't need.
That's tricky, and it's a paper where they get to play around a little bit,
so I don't mind it too much.
But in this scenario,
that's definitely a dangerous point.
If you're going to do that scene-focused work,
make sure that it's really working for you and that it's fairly brief too.
You want to remember these are the things that people forget.
This is important because you're probably forming it in an online format.
You want to make sure that you're still remembering punctuation,
paragraphs, and consistency intense.
For those of you who are thinking about doing descriptive stuff,
consistency intense really gets thrown off.
You'll move between past and present often in that scenario.
Then paragraphs are really shockingly important.
I would say it's how you digest a meal,
is you break it up into edible pieces.
It's how you would eat a steak and chop it up,
and it's the same concept for a paper.
If you don't chop up your middle points,
you'll lose track of those.
The next thing is remembering to plan your essay out.
Obviously, that's something that you have to think about.
But what I find is that my students get stuck into last patterns that they use.
Sometimes they just start typing,
and then try to figure it out later.
If you just list out your different options for your topic first,
so give yourself five options, potential topics,
you can get rid of the rough ones in either be
more confident in the first one that you are really dedicated to,
or choose a better one,
then create primary points that the topic should you cover.
You just list those things off.
You can do an outline format if you wish, but no matter what,
if you just list where you're headed in the paper,
it's much, much easier for your brain.
Then this can also help you then think about paragraph structure.
Each element within it doesn't necessarily need to be one paragraph.
We don't necessarily work that way.
One can be expanded on more than the other and so you can just write one paragraph,
two paragraph next to each point.
This is just a simple outline,
but even for a basic essay like this, it can be really,
really important so that you don't end up in
the conclusion and essentially repeat your introduction.
Speaking of that, you want an introduction and a conclusion,
but they shouldn't be formulaic,
be creative in how you deliver info and give your work purpose.
We are not doing introductions
and conclusions like you did them in high school obviously.
We're in a college level, and this is very important for this essay to do this.
If you want to think about it in terms of an introduction,
you are introducing yourself on the topic you're about to cover.
That's really the only requirement,
you don't have to have a thesis necessarily.
That's not a bad idea,
but we don't need a pre-structured layout for a thesis.
Then in your conclusion, we certainly do not need a repetition of your introduction.
These are very short essays.
Your conclusion should probably take us back to the original purpose.
If it's that explain yourself and your reason for transferring,
then you want to come back to that concept
of what you can look forward to rounded out at the end.
For some people when they're doing the scene thing,
they use that as an introduction,
and then they transfer that into why this matters for
them and it gives them that nice pull in to the essay.
Then they also know to stop it fairly early and keep
moving forward with explaining why this matters.
But in either way, no matter how you do this,
just make sure that you're doing this in a creative way so that it does stick out.
Do I have any questions?
You all look good. I'll move us forward.
>> Ms. Lewis.
>> Oh, yes. Actually,
this is my last slide,
so I'll ask for questions here after this one then we can make sure we're all good.
Lastly, these are the things that I think people they know,
but they often forget,
or they don't give themselves enough time to really think about them.
If you're worried about vocabulary and descriptions, and control,
where you want to think about this is using unique verbs and sentence variation,
but always do this in a way that doesn't distract.
So control is valuable.
If you want to think about unique verbs and unique descriptors,
just think about the fact that the words good and bad
are some of the worst words in the English language.
We need words that actually tell us specifically why something is good,
or why something is bad.
This is a good kicking off point.
Once you write your essay,
you can return to it and then go through find
your verbs and find your descriptors and see which ones you can improve on.
Just show your true vocabulary.
But then you also don't want to go too far with this.
That second point seems obvious.
The next one, I'm
sure these admissions counselors have gotten plagiarism in these essays,
and notice they're going to be aware of that.
They're also going to have the same software that we have as English professors.
Just note that that's really not going to do you any favors.
Then the last thing is a process that you want to think
about in terms of how to actually form these things.
Read your work multiple times as you go,
you'll feel more comfortable,
you'll better understand it.
Do a couple of drafts,
give yourself the time to build paragraphs,
and actually think about that structure.
If you do this last minute,
that can really throw off the essay itself.
Then of course, you want to use the tools available to you like Spellcheck.
That seems obvious, but it depends on how you're attaching it.
Then finally, have someone else read your work for feedback.
Aim high for this.
If you have your friend do this,
they may not actually know how to do punctuation.
It's pretty rough to have somebody assist you in terms of small edits.
But sometimes it's more important to just say,
hey, does this make sense?
What else should I explain?
Bigger questions about it rather than small editing.
Then of course, the endpoint is shocking.
How many of my students do not do this?
Is always, always reading your essay out loud.
This will give you the option of recognizing your own tone.
You can see if one of your sentences fumbles your tongue a little
bit and you have to go back and figure out why it's structurally confusing.
You commonly find sentence-level errors with punctuation just by doing this,
so that's pretty straightforward.
You can also go up the page.
This is something that I make my students do.
But if you've looked at this thing for too long and it's driving you wild,
if you go up the page and read up,
then you lose the context of the sentences around it,
so you're more likely to find your small error.
If I were to do this on a slide,
it will be always, always read your essay out loud.
Then for crafting this, read your work multiple times, do a couple of drafts,
give yourself the time to build paragraphs, and finally,
use the tools available to you like Spellcheck,
and having someone else read your work for feedback.
If you plagiarize your work, in other words,
if you move up and I actually notice that my list is not parallel,
there in that third bullet point.
It's really important to recognize how allowing
your brain to view this in a unique way will help you to find those smaller errors.
Now, do we have questions?
>> Not really?
>> Not really. Okay. This generally covers the basics of this stuff.
If you're worried about this thing,
it's great to have somebody look at your stuff.
It's great to talk to people about it.
I'm sure we have our tutoring group in the library,
and they also use brain fuse and you can have somebody check it out for you there.
There's lots of options,
but in terms of what I find is that,
when you come across examples online and when you come across my examples like these,
you may not fulfill them and that's fine.
This isn't about fulfilling the formula,
this is more about trying to find ways to point out why you're going to school,
why you're driven to go to school,
and where you want to go next in terms
of your career and how that university can help you.
You're always representing yourselves and the university that you are in,
or the college that you are in.
They want you to show how positively you
can present yourself now so that you can do that for them in the future.
If we're feeling good, I'll go ahead and stop recording,
and then you guys can hang for a second.
Stop my share.
Just go ahead and stop. Thank you.
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