5 Mistakes Men Make When a Girl "Pulls Away" | Do NOT do THIS if She's Losing Interest

Summary

In this video, Bobby Rio addresses the common issue of women pulling away in relationships and the mistakes men often make in response. He outlines five key errors: confessing feelings too soon, apologizing excessively, giving gifts to win favor, reciprocating coldness, and issuing ultimatums. Rio emphasizes that these actions can push women further away, and instead, suggests using the 'scrambler' technique to encourage women to chase, fostering attraction through uncertainty and intrigue.

Takeaways

• 🚫 **Avoid Confessing Feelings Early**: When a woman starts pulling away, men often mistakenly confess their feelings, thinking it will make her stay. However, this can backfire by creating too much pressure and reducing attraction.
• 🙅‍♂️ **Don't Over-Apologize**: Apologizing excessively or explaining yourself too much can come off as weak and unconfident, which can push her further away.
• 💔 **Resist the Urge to Buy Gifts**: Buying gifts in an attempt to win her back can be perceived as pressuring and may increase the distance instead of bridging it.
• ❄️ **Don't Mirror Coldness**: Matching a woman's cold behavior with your own can seem like a game and not a genuine loss of interest, which can make her feel you're not serious about the relationship.
• 🚨 **Avoid Ultimatums**: Giving ultimatums puts undue pressure on the relationship and can make her feel forced into decisions, rather than feeling attracted to you.
• 🤔 **Understand Her Testing**: Sometimes, a woman's pulling away is a test to see how you react, not a sign of lost interest. Your response can either reassure her or push her away.
• 🧩 **Uncertainty is Attractive**: Maintaining an air of mystery and uncertainty can be more attractive to women than being overly forthcoming or predictable.
• 💬 **Be Careful with Texting**: The way you communicate through texts can significantly impact the relationship. Less frequent but meaningful communication can be more effective than constant, less impactful exchanges.
• 🏃‍♂️ **Don't Chase, Attract**: Instead of chasing after a woman, focus on creating attraction by being confident and self-assured, which can make her want to pursue you.
• 🔄 **Reverse the Chase**: The video suggests a technique called 'the scrambler' to elicit a chase from the woman, reversing traditional roles and dynamics.

Q & A

What is the primary reason why women pull away according to the video?

Women often pull away as a subconscious test to see if the man they're dating is confident and secure. It’s not necessarily a sign that they’ve lost interest but a way to evaluate if the relationship is worth pursuing.

Why is confessing feelings considered a mistake when a woman starts pulling away?

Confessing feelings adds pressure to the woman, making her feel suffocated. Uncertainty is attractive to women, and by confessing feelings, a man removes that uncertainty, leading the woman to pull further away.

What happens when a man apologizes or explains his actions excessively?

When a man apologizes or explains his actions excessively, he comes across as weak and insecure. This diminishes a woman's attraction to him because it makes him appear needy and less confident.

Why is giving gifts a bad strategy when a woman pulls away?

Giving gifts, especially when a woman pulls away, is perceived as added pressure. This gesture, though meant to win her back, can make her feel uncomfortable and increase the distance because she feels obligated or pressured.

What does it mean to 'match coldness,' and why is it often ineffective?

'Matching coldness' refers to mirroring a woman's distant behavior by not texting or communicating as frequently. It’s ineffective because when the man immediately invites her to hang out after a period of coldness, it shows that he was only playing a game, rather than genuinely losing interest.

What are the consequences of issuing an ultimatum in a relationship?

Issuing an ultimatum adds pressure to the woman, making her more likely to walk away. It’s also ineffective because if the man isn't willing to truly walk away, she senses this, causing her to lose even more interest.

What is the 'scrambler' technique mentioned in the video?

The 'scrambler' is a technique designed to reverse the dynamic of a relationship, making the woman chase the man instead of the other way around. It is based on the idea that women are more attracted when they feel uncertainty and a desire to win over the man.

Why does pressure negatively impact a woman’s attraction?

Pressure makes a woman feel overwhelmed and stifled. When she senses that a man is too eager or desperate for commitment, it reduces her attraction because it removes the excitement and challenge of the relationship.

What is a key indicator that a man doesn’t understand how to maintain attraction in a relationship?

A key indicator is if the man makes the mistakes outlined in the video, such as confessing feelings too early, apologizing unnecessarily, or trying to win her over with gifts. These behaviors show a lack of understanding of what keeps women attracted.

Can a man recover from making these mistakes, and how?

Yes, a man can recover from these mistakes by stopping the behaviors that cause women to pull away and learning techniques like the 'scrambler,' which create uncertainty and encourage the woman to chase him instead.

Outlines

00:00

🚫 Avoiding Mistakes When a Woman Pulls Away

Bobby Rio discusses the common reasons why women may start to pull away in relationships and the critical mistakes men often make in response. He emphasizes that initial attraction can quickly change, leading to a woman becoming distant. Rio outlines five key errors: confessing feelings too soon, which can suffocate a woman's need for space and push her further away; over-apologizing or explaining, which can weaken a man's position and reduce attraction; and using gifts as a means to win her back, which can create unwanted pressure. The video serves as a cautionary guide for men to better understand and navigate the complexities of early relationship dynamics.

05:01

🙅‍♂️ The Futility of Apologies and Gifts

This section delves deeper into the pitfalls of apologizing and gift-giving when a woman begins to withdraw. Rio explains that excessive apologizing can signal weakness and a lack of self-assurance, which are unattractive qualities. Similarly, giving gifts in an attempt to rekindle interest can backfire by placing undue pressure on the woman. The narrative is supported by client anecdotes that illustrate these points, reinforcing the message that such actions often exacerbate the situation rather than resolve it.

10:05

❄️ The Dangers of Coldness and Ultimatums

Rio addresses the counterproductive strategies of matching a woman's coldness and issuing ultimatums. He explains that reciprocating her coldness can be transparent and may only serve to confirm her suspicions that the man is playing games. Ultimatums, on the other hand, are a form of pressure that can push a woman away, especially if the man is not genuinely prepared to follow through. The section underscores the importance of authenticity and the futility of manipulative tactics in maintaining attraction.

15:07

💑 The Scrambler Technique for Reversing the Chase

In the final paragraph, Rio introduces a technique called 'the scrambler' aimed at eliciting the chase from women rather than chasing them. He argues that women are more attracted to uncertainty and the thrill of the chase, contrary to the common belief that affectionate smothering is appealing. The video promises to provide insights into the psychology behind making a woman fall in love and offers a strategy to reverse traditional gender roles in the pursuit of romantic relationships.

Keywords

💡Pulling away

In the context of the video, 'pulling away' refers to a woman's behavior where she starts to distance herself emotionally or physically from a man. This can manifest as less frequent communication, less enthusiasm in plans, or a general decrease in interest. The video discusses why this might happen and how it can be a response to the man's actions, such as being too eager or showing too much affection too soon.

💡Chasing

'Chasing' in the video script refers to the act of a man pursuing a woman more intensely after she starts to pull away. The speaker argues that this behavior can be counterproductive, as it can push her further away instead of drawing her closer. It is used to illustrate the common mistake men make when they feel a relationship is slipping away.

💡Confessing feelings

Confessing feelings is a concept where a man openly declares his romantic interest in a woman, often in an attempt to solidify or save a relationship. The video suggests that this is a mistake because it can create pressure and eliminate the uncertainty that can be attractive to women, leading them to pull away even more.

💡Attraction

Attraction in the video is discussed as a dynamic that can be influenced by a man's behavior. It is suggested that maintaining a sense of mystery and not being too available can keep a woman's interest. The video implies that over-expressing feelings or being too eager can reduce attraction.

💡Testing

The term 'testing' is used to describe a woman's unconscious behavior of pulling away slightly to see how a man reacts. It's a way for her to assess his confidence and independence. The video emphasizes that how a man handles this test can significantly impact whether the attraction continues to grow or fades.

💡Apologizing

Apologizing in the video is presented as a mistake men often make when a woman starts to pull away. It suggests that excessive apologizing can signal weakness and a lack of confidence, which can decrease a woman's attraction. The speaker advises against apologizing for minor issues or things that weren't wrong.

💡Gifts

Gifts are mentioned in the context of trying to win a woman back or solidify a relationship. The video argues that giving gifts when a woman is pulling away can backfire, as it can be perceived as an attempt to buy affection or love, which adds pressure rather than fostering attraction.

💡Uncertainty

Uncertainty is a concept that the video suggests is attractive to women. It refers to the idea that not knowing what will happen next in a relationship keeps things interesting and can draw a woman in. The video contrasts this with the predictability that can come from a man being too open with his feelings or intentions.

💡Coldness

Coldness in the video refers to a man's attempt to match a woman's withdrawal by also becoming distant. The speaker warns against this approach, as it can be transparent and not genuine, leading the woman to feel that the man is playing games rather than genuinely losing interest.

💡Ultimatum

An ultimatum in the video is described as a demand or condition that one person gives to another, often with the threat of ending the relationship if the demand is not met. The video explains that issuing ultimatums can increase pressure and is generally ineffective in maintaining or regaining a woman's interest.

💡Scrambler

The 'Scrambler' is a technique mentioned at the end of the video that is intended to elicit the chase from a woman, rather than the man always being the one to chase. It's about creating a dynamic where the woman is intrigued and wants to pursue the man, which is suggested to be a more effective approach to maintaining attraction.

Highlights

Women may pull away as a test to see how men handle the change in dynamic.

Men often make the mistake of confessing their feelings too soon, which can push women away.

Uncertainty can be attractive to women, as it keeps them interested and engaged.

Apologizing or explaining too much can come across as weak and unattractive.

Buying gifts in an attempt to win a woman over can backfire by creating pressure.

Matching a woman's coldness can be perceived as playing games rather than genuine disinterest.

Giving ultimatums puts additional pressure on women, which can lead them to withdraw further.

Men should display a willingness to walk away to maintain a woman's interest.

Attraction is lost when women feel they have complete control over the relationship.

The 'scrambler' technique is introduced to elicit the chase from women instead of the other way around.

Women are more attracted to men they have to chase, rather than being chased.

The video offers a deeper understanding of the psychology behind keeping a woman attracted.

Making mistakes in the past doesn't mean they can't be rectified with the right approach.

The importance of not rushing into decisions when a woman pulls away is emphasized.

The video provides a technique to reverse engineer the process of falling in love from a woman's perspective.

There's still hope for men who have made mistakes if they take the right steps moving forward.

Transcripts

when a woman starts pulling away and you start chasing after her she's gone right

she's not gonna even look back you're just pushing her further away hi I'm

Bobby Rio in this video I want to talk about why women pull away and how you

should handle it and also just as importantly the five big mistakes men

make when a woman starts pulling away because let's face it it's becoming

increasingly frustrating for guys it's happening I see my clients going through

this over and over again where things start off great with a woman she's

totally into you she's sending you the flirty text in the middle of the day

every time you ask her to hang out she's available

she's talking like there's a future between you she's like mentioning you

know a party or a wedding she wants to go to six months from now and you're

thinking girlfriend material this is turning into something and then all the

sudden in the blink of an eye something's changed she gets a little

bit distant when you're with her then the texts begin to become less flirty

they slow down she's less responsive when you ask her to hang out you could

almost hear the excuses in her brain as she's like scrambling to find some

excuse before she's like oh it's my sister's cousin's birthday party and

like you're like what happened why was this girl that was totally into me not

so I want to go through five mistakes when this happens because by going

through these five mistakes I think you're going to be able to see how some

of the behavior leading up to her pulling away actually caused her to pull

away mistakes that you were making before and then the mistakes that you

were making after she pulled away that's what sent her packing right that's why

she's gone so we're gonna go through these and I want to see I want to

explain why they're so deadly I want to explain why making these mistakes well

ultimately even if a girl wasn't you even if she was attracted to you even if

she was thinking there was a future with you you start making these mistakes

she's gone and a lot of times and this is really important a lot of times when

a woman initially starts pulling away when she initially kind of slows down

her kind of puts the brakes on a little bit right things are going smooth and

then all of a sudden you feel she put the brakes on and what she's doing there

is she's testing you she's testing you to see how you handle it right and it's

an unconscious test she's not going I'm gonna test this guy now it's like things

are going great and then there's something in her brain that's like let

me see if this is for real let me see if this guy really has his shit together if

he's really a cool confident guy and then when she pulls her attention back

from you that's when your true self comes out in her eyes and a lot of guys

unfortunately make the mistakes that we are going to go over right now

so mistake number one when a woman pulls away the first mistake most men make is

they confess their feelings right the thought goes through our mind if she

only knows how I feel she would stay right if she only knew how much I liked

her she would stay she would like me back in that same way and we're

convinced that for some reason we think well maybe I didn't let her know I liked

her enough maybe she didn't know I was serious enough about her and that's why

she's leaving right but here's the thing uncertainty in a woman's eyes is

attractive meaning if she's not sure what's going

on with you she's more likely to stay around because it's sort of a puzzle

that she wants to solve when she's completely sure what's going on that's

weird and she takes the break wait when a woman senses this guy's really into me

she pulls back a little bit to give herself some breathing room because

she's like wow this is moving towards a relationship am I sure I want this right

so she pulls back a little bit and what happens is the guy does the complete

opposite of what he should do and he starts going further in his confessions

of romantic interest and wanting to be with her so now that space that she

needed she just needed a little space now she needs a whole lot of space

because now she's suffocated right the minute you start saying I really

like you I you just made her decision for her right all she wanted was a

little bit of space to figure out whoa this is kind of moving

forward let me see if this is something I really want and then you put the added

pressure on her by telling her how much you like her how special she is how you

see a future with her and now she goes I've got to stop this I've got to stop

this before it gets past the point of no return

so confessing your feelings never a good idea it's never the reason she's pulling

away never right it's never that I mean here's a deal right if you are sleeping

with three or four other women at the same time and you are a complete player

maybe that's the case but if she is the only girl you're talking to it's not

that she thinks you're not serious about her I can promise you that okay mistake

number two is apologizing or explaining right I see this with my clients all the

time too because a lot of times when I'm working with somebody I have them send

me their text message exchanges with the woman and I say look

by looking at that I can kind of see what went wrong and what happens a lot

of times is a guy makes a little mistake right maybe he made maybe one night she

asked him to hang out and he goes to hang out with his friends you know he

had a baseball game to go to with one of his friends and all of a sudden a week

later she's pulling away so in his mind what we do is we need to kind of find

the answer right we always look through and we kind of play detective and we go

okay what what could it be what did i do right and then we always go to some

mistake we think we made right so we might go oh she she wanted to hang out

last Friday and I went to the baseball game with my friends instead so then we

start thinking well if I can let her know that I wish I didn't go to the

baseball game she's gonna like like me again right she's gonna go oh he is a

good guy um so we text her something along the lines of yeah you know I'm

sorry I didn't hang out with you last week I I wanna you know I really wanted

to but my friend or they explained they just go into explanation though right

sometimes I had one client who he made a joke

and the joke over text was hard to decipher right it was a little joke it

wasn't that funny and then he sends me his text with her and there's like 13

texts apologizing for making a stupid joke and I'm like do never ever

apologize never explain yourself when you started apologizing or explaining

yourself especially for things that weren't really wrong you come across as

so weak in her eyes you come across as so try-hard such a pushover that she's

never gonna be able to maintain any level of attraction for you and that

sense of her pulling away she's gone right she there's no turning back

there's no coming back from it you never need to apologize I mean listen if

you've done something exceedingly wrong right you get drunk and you say

something very insulting to her and by all means apologize but when you start

apologizing for things that weren't really bad just because you can't fit

because that what happens like I said is we get in this emotional quicksand we

sense that things are changing we sense that she's getting a little distant with

us and we want to do anything to get her back you know we I get clients on the

fight we're like the you know the wily coyote trying to trying to develop a

plan and figure it out and that's all we can think about and our mind starts

convincing us oh it must have been this joke I made or it must have been it was

none of that right it was it was what I said number one she was pulling away

because things were moving forward and she was like I need to see if this guy

is for real and then what do you do you start explaining yourself and that

attraction she had plummets even further so number three is winning her over with

a gift right I'm just gonna write gift here and again I can't believe how many

of my clients do this I've created videos and everything saying don't send

a girl flowers don't do it all right I mean you could send your wife flowers

you can you can send your you know you're under when you're in or all that

is fine don't don't say that I'm never saying never send a woman flowers I'm

saying when you just start dating a woman and you sense she's pulling away

or you think it's going really well and it's two weeks in don't send her flowers

but especially she starts pulling away because again

just like confessing your feelings buying her a gift puts pressure on her

and when she's not sure about you the last thing you want to do is put

pressure on her because pressure is the antithesis of her attraction towards you

the more pressure she feels from you the more the less attraction she's gonna

feel so when you buy her a gift even if it's a small gift even if I had one

client Aeolus cold out and he sent her these

these gloves in the mail and she got them and she's like why did you send

these to me and he's like I just wanted to get you a gift and in her eyes it's

not just a gift and her eyes it's pressure you're sending her a big box of

pressure and that pressure is scaring the hell out of her because she needs

time to think and you're you're shoving pressure on her okay so no confessing

feelings no apologizing no gifts and here's what some guys do right is they

match coldness okay and what I mean by that is when a woman starts getting cold

there's some guys that think they're playing the game so they go well I'm

gonna get cold too I've done this I can remember that there was a girl that I

was really into we we were we were hanging out everything was going good

and then she kind of started ignoring my texts and she started getting like

really you know taking two or three days to get back to me and in my mind I was

like well I'm gonna do that back to her I'm gonna take two three days to get

back in touch with her I'm gonna act the same way she is okay and bear with me

because there's a right way and a wrong way to do this so what happens though is

we do this we we don't text her as much we wait to respond to her but what

happens is the minute she does reach out to us we immediately say hey do you want

to hang out and then what happens when you do that she knows that you were just

not texting her because you were playing a game you were waiting just to wait she

doesn't think you were actually losing interest she thinks oh he was just upset

that I wasn't texting him so he wasn't texting me so when she does that and

I'll tell you like a better way to do it right is

guys is that if you're waiting just a way and you're not texting her and then

she does reach out to you don't immediately ask her to hang out hang up

the phone with her or end the text conversation without the invite to hang

out because the minute and it's so I know I know listen I know when you're

really into a woman and she starts pulling away and you see that sort of

sliver of hope that you can hang out with her again you want to take it right

you don't want to risk that this might be our last conversation so you want to

say hey we should get together or hey what are you doing but when you're

trying to be cold back to her and then you do that she knows that it's it's for

real she knows you're just putting an act on and that she has right and we

always say once a woman knows she has you it's over then you'll never have her

the minute she figures out she's the one holding the power when she's the one

with the upper hand it's very very it's very very hard to maintain attraction um

for her to you when that's the case okay so what do you guys do after that what

is the next thing guys do the ultimatum who here has ever given the ultimatum

right listen my time is valuable so if you don't want to hang out then maybe we

shouldn't see each other right we always do this ultimatum and again the problem

with this ultimatum is a lot of different things one is that it just

like all these other things it puts more pressure on her an ultimatum is pressure

and the last thing she wants in this situation is more pressure so by giving

her an ultimatum you're essentially giving her a big box of pressure again

and that's going to make her take her bags and continue walking away from him

the other problem with an ultimatum is very similar to coldness is that when

you give an ultimatum if you are not willing to I always say you have to

display to a woman that you are willing to walk away right she's got to feel

like I can lose this guy now an ultimatum

when you're not willing to walk away is probably the worst thing you could do

because if give an ultimatum and then you still

reach back out to her which I know you're gonna do I've done it I've given

the ultimatum and then a couple weeks go by and I'm like um maybe maybe I

shouldn't have done it and then I reach out and then it's like she just knows

that she's got you right she has you you're not gonna walk away you have no

ability to walk away and when she knows she has you that bores her she loses

even more interest in you ultimatums are bad they never work out I've never seen

a girl go oh wow I might lose him I better I better you know he just told me

that he's not gonna call me again if I don't answer his texts or if I don't

have the ability to hang out this weekend I better do it no an ultimatum

is pressure it's gonna push her further away so all of this hurts your chances

when a woman starts pulling away and even more indicative right if you've

made these mistakes it's probably because you don't even know the

psychology of keeping a woman attracted to you in the first place I know that I

did and I know that not only did I make these mistakes when she was pulling away

a lot of times I made them before she started pulling away which probably

caused her to pull away I confess my feelings too soon I would apologize and

explain myself when I thought I was making mistakes I would buy her gifts

and take her out to fancy restaurants - trying to buy her love you know the

coldness I never really did the ultimatums you know I started making

them when I went when she couldn't hang out and I felt like oh I've got to put

put the pressure on her so what are you doing stead

so I created another video that you can click a link below where I teach a

technique because all of this all of this revolves around the idea of what

really makes a woman fall in love with a guy because it's not what you think and

if you've done any of these things I can almost guarantee that you don't know

what really makes a woman fall in love what a woman makes a fall in love is not

when a guy is smothering her with affection in fact like I said that's

pressure that pulls away right I said in the very beginning of this video what

draws a woman towards a man is is uncertainty of not knowing what comes

next not knowing the end of the movie alright we don't want to watch a movie

when we already know the ending and most when women meet a man and she already

knows the ending and if a woman loses interest in you it's because she met you

and she knew the ending of that movie too quickly and she had no incentive to

continue the relationship to continue getting to know you because she knew how

it was gonna end she knew that you were gonna smother her with affection she

knew that she had you and I said in the very beginning once a woman knows she

has you it's over so what are you doing instead I'm gonna teach you exactly what

to do a technique that I call the scrambler and it's all about eliciting

the chase in her instead of the other way around because most guys chase women

but women want to be the one chasing a man right they don't want to be chased

they don't want they want they don't want to be chased and guys think that by

chasing it's gonna get them but by chasing them you're pushing them away

they want to chase you they want the man they have to chase so how do you get a

woman chasing you that's what I talk about in the video below you can click

the link it's about 15 minutes long it goes way more in depth what I do in the

video is I reverse engineer this process of falling in love so that you can

actually see what needs to go through a woman's mind for her to fall in love

with you and if you've already made a mistake if you've already done these

things it's not too late to fix them if you take the right steps from here on

out if you do any more of this it's over there's no coming back right there's no

coming back if you but if you take a deep breath and I know that a lot of

guys are an emotional quicksand where where they don't feel like they have

time right they feel like they got to make a move immediately if that's you I

just watched the video and you'll get a much better understanding of what you

can do from here on out to not only stop her from pulling away and not only stop

women in the future from pulling away but also just to get them back to you ok

so click the link below right now to watch the video