Finding the True Essence of You | Eckhart Tolle Explains

Summary

The transcript explores the concepts of form identity and essence identity as taught by the early 20th-century spiritual teacher, Gurdjieff. It discusses how most people are identified with their form, including physical appearance, abilities, and possessions, which can lead to suffering when these aspects change or are lost. The speaker emphasizes the importance of finding one's essence identity, a deeper spiritual dimension, to experience true liberation and peace beyond the ego's need for comparison and validation. The talk suggests that while form identity is natural, it's crucial to evolve towards recognizing and embracing essence identity to avoid the suffering that comes with an exclusive attachment to form.

Takeaways

• 🧘‍♂️ The concept of identity has two dimensions: form identity, which includes physical form, name, knowledge, and past experiences, and essence identity, which is a spiritual dimension beyond physical and mental attributes.
• 🌟 The spiritual teacher Gurdjieff emphasized that many people have a developed personality with little essence, and it's rare to have more essence than personality.
• 🔍 Form identity is closely tied to how others perceive you and can lead to self-consciousness and the need for external validation.
• 🌱 As one evolves, the emphasis on form identity can shift towards discovering and embracing essence identity, leading to a deeper sense of self.
• 💡 Essence identity is not based on comparison or competition; it arises from a deeper, formless place within and is not dependent on external factors.
• 😔 Relying solely on form identity for a sense of self can lead to suffering when aspects of form, such as physical appearance or abilities, change or are lost.
• 🚫 The ego is an energy form that resists change and defends its form identity, often preventing the recognition and development of essence identity.
• 🌈 Spiritual practices and teachings can help de-emphasize form identity, allowing for the emergence of essence identity and a sense of inner peace.
• 📚 Historical spiritual figures like St. Francis have exemplified the de-emphasis on form identity, focusing instead on a sense of being beyond physical and mental limitations.
• 🛡️ Life's challenges and disasters can provide opportunities to transcend form identity and access essence identity, potentially leading to a profound sense of peace and liberation.

Q & A

Who is the spiritual teacher and philosopher mentioned in the script from the early 20th century?

The spiritual teacher and philosopher mentioned is G.I. Gurdjieff, who was from the Russian area and later moved to France to teach.

What is the distinction between personality and essence as described by Gurdjieff?

According to Gurdjieff, personality refers to the outward characteristics and traits that people develop, while essence is a deeper, spiritual dimension of one's identity. He noted that many people have a strongly developed personality with little essence.

What is meant by 'form identity' in the context of the script?

'Form identity' refers to the aspect of one's identity that is based on physical form, name, knowledge, education, abilities, and past experiences. It is how one perceives oneself and how others see them.

How does the emphasis on form identity affect a person's self-consciousness and behavior?

An emphasis on form identity can lead to self-consciousness and a constant need for validation from others, as one's sense of self is heavily influenced by external perceptions and comparisons.

What is the significance of 'essence identity' in contrast to 'form identity'?

Essence identity is the spiritual dimension of one's identity that is not based on physical or mental attributes. It is a deeper sense of self that is not dependent on external validation or comparison.

Why is it important to develop an essence identity according to the script?

Developing an essence identity is important because it provides a more genuine and deeper sense of self that is not subject to the suffering and limitations associated with form identity, such as aging, loss of abilities, or changes in appearance.

What role does the ego play in relation to form identity and essence identity?

The ego is associated with form identity and is an energy form within a person that wants to defend and strengthen its particular form. It can resist the development of essence identity, which is beyond form.

How can one begin to shift from form identity to essence identity?

One can begin to shift from form identity to essence identity by developing presence, which is a deeper awareness that allows one to sense the formless essence beneath the surface of form.

What is the significance of the phrase 'find death before death finds you' in the context of the script?

The phrase 'find death before death finds you' is a spiritual dictum that encourages individuals to discover the part of themselves that is beyond death, or the egoic identity, before the physical death occurs.

How can suffering or disability potentially lead to the realization of essence identity?

Suffering or disability can interrupt the development of a strong form identity, potentially leading one to seek a deeper sense of self, thus opening up to the realization of essence identity.

What is the role of grace in the transition from form identity to essence identity?

Grace is described as the potential for spiritual awakening that can be found in the face of great loss or disaster. It is the unseen spiritual energy that can facilitate the transition to essence identity without waiting for external catastrophes.

Outlines

00:00

🧘‍♂️ Personality vs. Essence

The first paragraph introduces the concept of identity as taught by the spiritual teacher and philosopher Gurdjieff. Gurdjieff, who moved from Russia to France, posited that individuals have both a personality and an essence. He noted the rarity of individuals with more essence than personality and suggested that most people are defined by their personality, which includes physical form, name, knowledge, education, abilities, and past experiences. This form identity is closely tied to how one perceives oneself and how others perceive one. The paragraph discusses the natural human tendency to emphasize form identity, often through comparisons and competition, and how this can lead to self-consciousness and a reliance on external validation.

05:05

🌟 Transitioning from Form to Essence

Paragraph two delves into the transition from form identity to essence identity. It explains that while form identity is based on tangible attributes and abilities, essence identity is a deeper, spiritual dimension that is not reliant on physical or mental traits. The paragraph discusses how the realization of one's essence identity can liberate a person from the suffering that comes with an identity based on form, such as the loss of beauty, strength, or knowledge. It humorously illustrates the point with the example of aging and the inevitable changes to one's physical appearance, suggesting that identifying with form can lead to suffering when that form changes or is lost.

10:05

🔮 The Ego and the Struggle for Essence

The third paragraph explores the role of the ego in maintaining form identity and resisting the development of essence identity. It describes the ego as an energy field that clings to form and seeks to defend and strengthen it. The paragraph discusses how the ego can create fear of stillness and inner peace, leading individuals to avoid introspection and continue to identify with their form. It also touches on the spiritual practices that aim to de-emphasize form identity, such as the teachings of St. Francis, and the potential for individuals with disabilities or those who have suffered significant loss to more quickly recognize their essence identity.

15:08

🕊️ Finding Essence Before Death

The final paragraph emphasizes the importance of discovering one's essence identity before death, which is inevitable. It suggests that the process of finding essence identity can be painful without spiritual guidance and often requires a significant life event to disrupt the hold of the ego. The paragraph uses the metaphor of 'finding death before death finds you' to encourage individuals to seek their essence identity proactively, rather than waiting for a disaster to force the realization. It concludes with the idea that the potential for essence identity arises in moments of great loss, and this can be seen as a form of grace.

Keywords

💡Personality

In the context of the video, 'personality' refers to the outward-facing characteristics and traits that an individual displays to the world. It includes behaviors, attitudes, and the way one interacts with others. The video suggests that many people have a strongly developed personality, which can overshadow their 'essence,' leading to an imbalance in self-perception. The speaker uses the example of children emphasizing their abilities or possessions to illustrate how personality can dominate identity.

💡Essence

'Essence' in the video is described as the deeper, spiritual dimension of one's identity that transcends the physical and the learned. It is the true nature of a person, which is not defined by external factors such as appearance, knowledge, or abilities. The video emphasizes the rarity of people having a well-developed essence compared to their personality, suggesting that true self-realization involves recognizing and embracing one's essence.

💡Form Identity

Form identity is the aspect of self that is tied to one's physical form, name, knowledge, education, abilities, and past experiences. It is how one perceives oneself and how others perceive one. The video discusses how being trapped in form identity can lead to self-consciousness and a reliance on external validation, as it is heavily influenced by societal and interpersonal perceptions.

💡Ego

The 'ego' in the video is portrayed as the part of the psyche that identifies with form identity, including one's achievements, possessions, and physical attributes. It is depicted as a defensive and survival-oriented energy that resists change and clings to the familiar, even when it hinders spiritual growth. The speaker suggests that the ego can be a barrier to recognizing and developing one's essence identity.

💡Presence

In the video, 'presence' is mentioned as a state of being that is beyond form and is not tangible. It is a deeper sense of self that arises when one begins to recognize their essence identity. Presence is described as pervading one's entire being and offering a sense of identity that is not dependent on external factors, thus providing a sense of peace and liberation from the suffering associated with form identity.

💡Spiritual Dimension

The 'spiritual dimension' refers to the aspect of one's identity that is connected to a sense of the divine, the transcendent, or a deeper meaning beyond the physical world. The video suggests that finding this dimension is crucial for developing an essence identity, as it allows one to perceive oneself beyond the limitations of form identity and to experience a deeper sense of self.

💡Comparison

The video discusses 'comparison' as a common human tendency where individuals evaluate their self-worth based on how they measure up against others in terms of possessions, abilities, or appearances. This behavior is linked to form identity and is contrasted with essence identity, which does not engage in comparison, as it is not dependent on external validation or relative standing.

💡Suffering

Suffering in the video is associated with the instability and impermanence of form identity. It arises when one's sense of self is based on transient and mutable factors such as physical appearance or abilities. The speaker suggests that recognizing and embracing essence identity can alleviate this suffering by providing a more stable and enduring sense of self.

💡Disaster

In the context of the video, 'disaster' is used metaphorically to represent significant life events that can disrupt form identity, such as loss, illness, or failure. These events can create an opportunity for individuals to look beyond their form identity and potentially discover their essence identity. The speaker refers to the potential for 'grace' to be found on the other side of such disasters.

💡Grace

Grace in the video is described as a transformative energy or force that can facilitate the transition from form identity to essence identity. It is depicted as being present in moments of crisis or disaster, offering the potential for spiritual awakening and growth. The speaker encourages the audience not to wait for disaster to seek this grace but to actively pursue the discovery of their essence identity.

Highlights

The importance of finding one's essence before death finds you.

Gurdjieff's teachings on the distinction between personality and essence.

The rarity of individuals with more essence than personality.

The concept of form identity and its components: physical form, name, knowledge, education, abilities, and past experiences.

The influence of form identity on self-perception and how others perceive you.

The natural human tendency to emphasize form identity.

The potential for form identity to lead to suffering as it is based on transient and comparative aspects.

The spiritual dimension as essence identity and its contrast with form identity.

The role of presence in realizing one's essence identity.

The liberation from suffering that comes with recognizing essence identity.

The ego as a formation that resists the realization of essence identity.

The transformative potential of physical disabilities or loss in leading to the discovery of essence identity.

The concept of grace as the potential for essence identity to arise from great loss.

The spiritual dictum 'find death before death finds you' and its interpretation in the context of ego death.

The traditional painful process of finding death before death finds you without spiritual energy.

The necessity of not waiting for disaster to discover one's essence identity.

Transcripts

- Find deaths before death finds you.

(bell chiming)

There was an a spiritual teacher philosopher in early

20th century from Gurdjieff,

from Russian area (indistinct).

He later moved to France and taught there.

He had an interesting, he was a, he said, people are,

have a personality and essence.

And he said, many people have a strongly developed

personality and virtually no essence.

And it's very rare for people

to have more essence than personality.

It was an interesting way of looking at it.

And that's of course how it is that

I'm now elaborating he only,

there's only a little bit of that.

And then he dropped the whole matter

and then he didn't talk about it again.

So the essence, there is,

there are two dimensions in your identity.

The, there is the form identity, the you as form,

with your physical form and your name and all your knowledge

and education and abilities

and your past, whatever happened in your past.

It's all connected

and it all makes up your, who you are on the level of

form, who you perceive yourself to be

and who others see you.

And there is a connection between how the world

or other people see you and how you see yourself

and for them when you are trapped

exclusively in a form identity.

So you only know yourself as a form identity,

then how other people see you is

of extreme importance to you

because it contributes to who you, how you see yourself.

So you might become self-conscious

and see self-conscious in English means you're very much

aware of how you're being perceived

and you feel always a little uneasy

because you feel observed and people are judging you

and you say, and you want to appear in a certain way.

And there is a, there's a natural tendency in humans

to emphasize their form identity to the world.

It's a natural thing.

So I'm not,

you can't tell a little child when the little child begins

to say or says you observing that one child says

to the other child,

look, I can do this.

You can't do what I can do.

I can do this, but you can't.

Or the child is, my dad has a bigger car than yours.

You can't say to the child, don't do that.

You are emphasizing your form identity.

(audience laughing)

But you know that's what's happening.

It's a natural tendency in humans

to emphasize it could be a possession, I have more than you,

it could be my body.

If it looks better than yours, or is stronger than yours

or bigger than yours, or taller than yours.

Or it could be, I have an ability

that you don't have.

Children, start with that

and it's, that's, I can play the piano.

What can you play?

I play the ping pong machine.

So the emphasize form identity is a natural thing.

It can be, there is a point where this

should come to a natural conclusion.

I would say in a more evolved humanity,

the emphasis of form identity as a person reaches adulthood

a little bit after is replaced, at the moment

this is not what's happening,

but can be replaced

by something more genuine and deeper.

And that is finding your essence identity

that's underneath your form identity

and that is spiritual dimension.

Finding the spiritual dimension in yourself so that

who you think you are is no longer,

you still have a form identity, yes,

that level is still there undoubtedly.

You have certain abilities.

You are good at this, you are not good at that.

You are better than the other person in this thing,

but not as good as in the other thing, all that remains.

But it no longer

gives you your sense of who you are.

And that can only happen when something else arises

that is deeper than the form and that's the presence.

And when you, when the presence arriving in you,

it has no form and is not tangible.

It's there pervading your entire being.

Then suddenly you realize

and you feel who you are essentially,

has nothing to do with what you possess,

how your body looks,

your abilities, what you can do

or what you know.

That's another one that's form identity with what I know,

I know more than you.

So, so then it comes the realization

who you essentially are is nothing to do with possessions

or looks or physical or mental abilities or other abilities

and, but it comes from a much deeper place.

And that deeper place no longer operates through comparison.

You don't, your essence identity does not deepen

because it's stronger than somebody else's essence identity.

You don't compare yourself anymore to others in order to

find out who you are. (chuckling)

And that's a, such a liberation from

only knowing yourself as that particular form.

Because with that comes a lot of suffering.

A lot of suffering comes when your,

who you are is derived from the form of you.

Because at some point let's, if you have good looks

and then your,

who you are is based mostly on that

and you feel superior to most

because you look so much better

and you look down on all these other

people who are not good looking at all.

And then you even emphasize it.

You, so you, you buy great even you look even greater

with the wonderful things you wear.

And then as the decades pass, (audience laughing)

you look in the mirror and there's something wrong

slowly and you notice

that the mirror is becoming, seems to becoming defective.

It no longer shows you the beauty of who you are externally

and then you need to pay for repair jobs.

(audience laughing)

But even there it is just, just

postponing the suffering

that inevitably comes when

what your identity was based on

begins to collapse.

And that's awful. Or it could be an ability.

You are very good at something,

but then at some point something happens

and you are not good at it anymore

or somebody else suddenly comes who is

so much better than you.

One could give many examples.

Knowledge, perhaps your mind doesn't retain the knowledge

anymore or it becomes redundant.

And having an encyclopedic mind is no longer a great

thing because the internet is always better, Wikipedia.

So sooner or later if it's strengths,

then eventually you can't compete anymore.

You get arthritis, can't jump high enough anymore.

All these things.

Sooner or later when your identity is based on form,

then you begin to suffer.

So it's vital to have both,

but it's not easy because your form identity has its own

kind of momentum.

And that's the ego.

The ego is anything you identify with

as yourself becomes part of your ego identity.

So form identity is ego.

The ego is a formation,

an energy field, an energy form in you

that is quite, refuses to go.

It wants to survive as this particular form.

It wants to defend its form,

it wants to strengthen its form.

So although there may be,

and the evolutionary impulse

of the universe may be at work in you,

which wants something else to arise,

there may be the ego trying not it, not wanting it,

not wanting it to arise.

And so you get scared of stillness

or inner peace, can't sit still.

You don't want to stop thinking

because you think I'm going

to disappear if I stop thinking.

And you want to continue to have opinions about who you are,

the old opinions about who you are.

And there's a, there have been spiritual teachers

and spiritual masters

and mystics throughout the ages have realized

form identity, essence identity.

And there is a whole stream of spirituality

that is based on de emphasizing your form identity.

And of course St. Francis is part of that stream of

de emphasizing form identity.

Not saying, look at me, I'm so good at this or that,

but it that says basically I'm nobody,

I'm nobody in particular.

That can go too far where it becomes another form.

So you have to be very careful when that happens,

because when you say I am the most miserable sinner,

then you've, that's not quite it.

That's because that's a big,

another form identity (chuckling)

that can be even stronger than

to say I'm the most saintly person there's ever been.

I'm the most miserable of sinners. So dreadful.

But to de emphasize form identity can be a wonderful thing.

Once it, it requires enough presence

so that you already can sense that which is beyond,

and it starts with a little thing like in a discussion,

you are able to drop your particular viewpoint

because it makes no difference whether you are right

or wrong anymore and you just let it go

and feel quite liberated.

It makes no difference whether who is right,

he or the other person or you, who cares?

That's, and suddenly you feel, there's a peace

that comes there when you don't need to be right anymore.

That's because to be right is one way in which people

want emphasize the me, the me.

Make the other person wrong.

So that's one way.

Another, it can be very beneficial for some people

who have been afflicted

with some kind of suffering

or disability, which may be physical disability

or whatever it is that makes it difficult for them

to develop a well,

to have a well-developed form identity,

let's say somebody who is physically disabled

and so they can either

seek refuge in some other area

and become their focused on identifying

with their mind or whatever.

It can also happen that if there's one major thing that

seems to interrupt the full development

of your form identity,

it can more quickly lead you to the realization

of your essence identity.

That is, there have been philosophers in the past

or spiritual teachers who had disabilities

and it's because of their physical disabilities,

they were able to let go of identification

with their unsatisfying form.

If so, if the form of you is unsatisfying,

strongly unsatisfying, it can be an opening,

an early opening into essence identity.

The same thing happens when somebody loses all the things

that they had identified with in their lives

through some disaster that suddenly happens in you.

Things are removed that you had considered to be

an essential part of who you are and life takes them away.

And suddenly you're faced with

that nothingness or emptiness.

You don't know who you are anymore

because life has taken away all those things

that you identified with.

And then it can happen if you don't go into a contraction

and quickly form another victim identity that the,

it opens up into the formless, the essence.

That is the peace that passes all understanding

as it's called in the New Testament.

And because how can a person

who has lost everything suddenly feel so peaceful?

It can happen. It doesn't happen always.

Perhaps only in a small percentage of cases

where people lose everything, a potential.

The potential is there.

Whenever there's great loss in your life,

the potential is there for the arising of your,

the essence identity.

And that is grace.

You can call that grace, the grace that is hiding

on the other side of every disaster.

It's hiding there. You just need to recognize it.

But there is no need to wait

for disaster to happen to you.

But, and this is why we are here now.

We don't want to wait for disaster

because that might be too late.

It might not happen for a while. It will happen eventually.

Disaster will come to all of you because well, yes, oh yes,

because you're going to die.

The body's going to die.

Old age will come and then that'll be it.

(audience laughing)

As well as somebody said,

each one of us has already been diagnosed with

a fatal illness leading to death.

It's called life. (laughing)

On the surface level if course, it's.

So therefore the ancient dictum

of spirituality is find death

before death finds you,

because death is going to find you.

It's just a question of time. Now, what does it mean?

Find death before death finds you?

It means find that

in you, which is beyond death.

So the death that you find refers to the, the death

of the ego, the egoic identity in you, which when you

discover the essence identity,

then the ego identity begins to die.

And that's a wonderful thing. But not to the ego.

It doesn't mean that the forms disappear,

but identification with the forms is no longer there.

So you still have the same things as before,

but the identification doesn't happen anymore.

Traditionally this is a very painful process.

Finding death before death finds you without

a strong spiritual energy

that you come into contact

with in one way or another, it's painful.

The only way you can find death

before death finds you is for life to knock you so hard

that the ego gets knocked out of you.