We Are All Different - and THAT'S AWESOME! | Cole Blakeway | TEDxWestVancouverED

Summary

In this heartwarming talk, Cole shares his unique approach to life, embracing individuality by wearing mismatched socks and shoes. He introduces his best friend, Steven, a 44-year-old man with autism, and recounts the special bond that began between Steven and Cole's mom when they were in high school. Cole's family includes Steven in all activities, and he is affectionately known as Uncle Steven. Cole humorously describes Steven's quirks, such as his love for firetrucks and large appetites, and passionately argues that autism, like freckles, doesn't need a cure. He encourages everyone to celebrate their differences and live authentically.

Takeaways

• 🌈 Embrace your uniqueness: Cole shares his personal experience of being different by wearing mismatched socks and shoes, emphasizing that being unique is something to celebrate.
• 🎤 Use your voice: In a quiet bookstore, Cole's decision to sing shows that sometimes, it's important to make your presence known and to do what feels right for you.
• 📚 Discovering identity: The book 'You're Weird' resonates with Cole, validating the idea that being different is not only okay but also something to be proud of.
• 🤝 The power of friendship: Cole's mother's long-lasting friendship with Steven, which began when they were in high school, demonstrates the impact of a simple invitation to connect.
• 🧠 Understanding autism: Steven, who has autism, is portrayed as a joyful individual, highlighting the importance of recognizing the strengths and differences in people with autism spectrum disorder.
• 👨‍👦‍👦 Family inclusion: Steven is a cherished member of Cole's family, showing that people with autism can be fully integrated into family life and activities.
• 🚗 Unique abilities: Despite not being able to drive, Steven's ability to memorize phone numbers exemplifies the unique strengths that individuals with autism can possess.
• 🔥 Joy in simple pleasures: Steven's excitement about firetrucks and his playful statement about wanting to be one illustrates the joy that comes from embracing one's interests.
• 🍽️ Appetite for life: Steven's love for food and his ability to eat a lot without feeling full reflects his zest for life and his unique characteristics.
• 🎮 The joy of play: Hide-and-seek with Steven is a favorite memory for Cole, underlining the happiness that comes from shared experiences and the simple act of playing.
• 🌟 Celebrate differences: Cole's admiration for Steven and his message to embrace one's own differences encourages everyone to find and celebrate what makes them unique.

Q & A

Why does Cole wear different colored socks and shoes?

Cole wears different colored socks and shoes because he wants to express his uniqueness and stand out from the crowd, feeling best when he is being himself.

What did Cole's mom do when she noticed the bookstore was strangely quiet?

Cole's mom pointed to a book as a joke, which led Cole to find a book that resonated with him, titled 'You're weird'.

What is the significance of the book Cole found in the bookstore?

The book 'You're weird' is significant to Cole because it validates and celebrates being different, which aligns with Cole's own self-expression.

How did Cole's mom and Steven become friends?

Cole's mom and Steven became friends when she was 13 years old, after Steven invited her to sit with him and his friends with special needs in the high school cafeteria.

What were the three questions Steven asked Cole's mom when they first met?

Steven asked Cole's mom what she was having for lunch, her phone number, and if they could be friends for 40 years.

How has Steven kept his promise to Cole's mom since 1988?

Steven has kept his promise by calling Cole's house every single day since their first meeting in 1988.

In what ways is Steven included in Cole's family?

Steven is included in family dinners, attends Cole's soccer games, enjoys watching movies with the family, and has sleepovers every couple of weeks.

What is autism spectrum disorder and how does it affect Steven?

Autism spectrum disorder refers to a range of conditions characterized by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, speech, and nonverbal communication. Steven, who has autism, faces these challenges but also has unique strengths and differences.

Why does Cole believe there is no need for a cure for autism?

Cole believes there is no need for a cure for autism because it is not a disease that needs fixing. He sees autism as a part of what makes individuals, like his Uncle Steven, unique and perfect the way they are.

What are some of Cole's favorite memories with Steven?

Some of Cole's favorite memories with Steven include when a firetruck passes and Steven shouts out his desire to be a firetruck, the large amounts of food Steven can eat, and playing hide-and-seek where Steven always hides in the closets.

What message does Cole convey about embracing one's differences?

Cole conveys the message that being different is not only okay but also something to be celebrated. He encourages people to find what makes them unique, not be afraid to stand out, and to be exactly who they are.

Outlines

00:00

🌈 Embracing Uniqueness and Friendship

Cole, the speaker, shares his personal story of embracing individuality, starting with his habit of wearing mismatched socks and shoes. He recounts a humorous incident in a bookstore where his mother jokingly points out a book titled 'You're Weird,' which celebrates being different. Cole then introduces his friend Steven, a 44-year-old man with autism, and describes the unique and enduring friendship that Steven has maintained with Cole's mother since they met when she was 13. Steven's daily phone calls, his inclusion in family activities, and his distinctive characteristics are highlighted, showing that autism is not something that needs a cure but is a part of who Steven is. Cole admires Steven for his happiness and authenticity, encouraging everyone to celebrate their differences.

Keywords

💡Unique

Unique refers to something or someone that is unlike anything else; it stands out due to its distinct qualities or characteristics. In the video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of embracing one's uniqueness, as exemplified by his own choice to wear different colored socks and shoes. This self-expression is a symbol of individuality and the message that being different is not only acceptable but something to be celebrated.

💡Autism

Autism, or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a developmental disorder that affects communication, social interaction, and behavior. It is characterized by a range of conditions and challenges, including difficulties with social skills and repetitive behaviors. In the script, Steven, who has autism, is portrayed as a joyful and integral part of the speaker's family, highlighting the video's theme that individuals with autism should be accepted and celebrated for who they are, rather than being seen as in need of a 'cure'.

💡Inclusion

Inclusion is the act of including or involving someone or something, often in a context where they might otherwise be excluded. The video script illustrates inclusion through the relationship between Steven and the speaker's family, where Steven is not only included in family activities but is also a cherished member. This demonstrates the video's advocacy for social inclusion and the acceptance of individuals with autism into everyday life.

💡Individuality

Individuality is the quality of being a distinct individual, with unique thoughts, actions, and characteristics. The video script champions individuality by showcasing the speaker's personal style and his friend Steven's distinctive personality traits. It suggests that everyone should be proud of their individuality and not strive to conform to societal norms or expectations.

💡Misfits

Misfits are individuals who do not fit into a particular group or societal norms due to their differences. The video uses the term to describe those who are 'uniquely awesome,' suggesting that being a misfit is not a negative label but rather a badge of honor for those who embrace their differences. The speaker's advocacy is for misfits to be proud of who they are and not to seek to fit into a mold that doesn't suit them.

💡Stand Out

To stand out is to be noticeable or prominent, often due to one's unique qualities or actions. The video encourages viewers to stand out and be unafraid to be different. The speaker's own actions, such as wearing mismatched socks and shoes, and his friend Steven's joyful personality, serve as examples of standing out in a positive way.

💡Happiness

Happiness is a state of well-being and contentment. In the video, happiness is closely associated with self-acceptance and the celebration of one's uniqueness. Steven, who is described as the happiest person the speaker knows, embodies this concept. His happiness is portrayed as a result of being true to himself and not trying to fit into societal expectations.

💡Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal communication refers to the conveyance of messages without the use of words, such as through body language, facial expressions, and gestures. The video touches on the challenges individuals with autism may face in nonverbal communication, which is part of the broader communication difficulties associated with the disorder. The script does not provide specific examples, but it implies that Steven's way of communicating is an integral part of who he is.

💡Repetitive Behaviors

Repetitive behaviors are patterns of action that are repeated over and over, often associated with autism. These behaviors can be a way for individuals to self-soothe or cope with their environment. In the script, Steven's consistent daily phone calls to the speaker's family could be seen as a form of repetitive behavior, but it is framed positively as a demonstration of his commitment to friendship.

💡Memorization

Memorization is the act of committing information to memory. The video highlights Steven's ability to memorize every phone number he has ever heard, which is an example of a unique strength that individuals with autism might possess. This ability stands in contrast to the challenges he faces with other aspects of daily life, such as driving, and it is presented as a remarkable and positive aspect of his character.

💡Freckles

Freckles are small, natural, and harmless spots on the skin. In the video, freckles are used as a metaphor to argue against the notion that autism needs a 'cure.' The speaker equates the natural variation of freckles with the natural variation of autism, suggesting that both are part of the spectrum of human diversity and should be accepted as they are.

Highlights

Cole embraces being different, wearing different colored socks and shoes as a symbol of his uniqueness.

Cole shares a humorous incident in a bookstore where he started singing to break the silence.

Cole's mom jokingly gives him a book titled 'You're Weird,' which celebrates being different.

Cole introduces his friend Steven, a 44-year-old man with autism, emphasizing the importance of unique friendships.

The story of how Cole's mom and Steven became friends in high school, starting a lifelong bond.

Steven's daily phone calls to Cole's mom since 1988, keeping a promise made over 30 years ago.

Steven's inclusion in family activities, showing the impact of his friendship on Cole's family.

Cole's explanation of autism spectrum disorder, highlighting the challenges and strengths of individuals with autism.

Steven's unique ability to memorize phone numbers, showcasing his special skills.

Cole's view that there is no need for a cure for autism, as it is not a disease.

A heartwarming memory of Steven expressing a desire to be a firetruck, illustrating his childlike joy.

Steven's appetite for various foods, providing a humorous insight into his eating habits.

The joy of playing hide-and-seek with Steven, who always hides in the same place.

Cole's admiration for Steven's happiness and authenticity, emphasizing the value of being true to oneself.

Cole's call to action for everyone to embrace their differences and live authentically.

The conclusion of Cole's talk with a message of acceptance and celebration of individuality.

Transcripts

Transcriber: Maurício Kakuei Tanaka Reviewer: David DeRuwe

My name is Cole,

and over the next few minutes,

I'm going to teach you that it's okay to be different.

Since a young age,

I've worn different colored socks and two different shoes.

Why?

Because I am unique.

A standout from the crowd.

I feel best when I am being me.

This summer, a funny thing happened.

I was in a bookstore with my mom

when I realized everyone was strangely quiet.

And so I did what needed to be done.

I started singing.

As a joke, my mom pointed to a book and said,

"Hey, Cole! This book is for you."

I pulled it out and read the cover.

Here's what it said:

"You're weird."

(Laughter)

"A creative journal for misfits, oddballs,

and anyone else who's uniquely awesome."

It's the best book ever.

It tells everyone it's cool to be different.

Today I'm going to tell you about a friendship of mine

that is a little different than you might expect.

This is one of my best friends, Steven.

He is the happiest person I know.

Steven is 44 years old and has autism.

Let me start by explaining how we became special friends.

When my mom was just 13 years old,

she was in the high school cafeteria about to have lunch with her friends.

Then she passed a table of kids with special needs.

Steven was a boy at that table.

He shouted out,

"Hey, what's your name? Come sit with me!"

My mom sat down,

and in that moment, a special friendship began.

Steven asked my mom three questions:

He wanted to know what she was having for lunch,

her phone number,

and if they could be friends for 40 years.

(Laughter)

As my mom gave him her phone number and said yes,

he clapped with excitement and said, "I will call you every day."

(Laughter)

Ever since that day, in 1988,

he has kept his promise and called our house every single day.

When I was born, Steven was a special part of our family,

and I've grown up calling him Uncle Steven.

Steven is included in family dinners,

he comes to my soccer games,

he loves watching movies with us,

and every couple of weeks, he has a sleepover.

Steven has had autism his whole life.

Autism spectrum disorder refers to a range of conditions

characterized by challenges with social skills,

repetitive behaviors,

speech and nonverbal communications,

as well as by unique strengths and differences.

My friend Steven is not able to drive a car,

but he is able to memorize every phone number he has ever heard.

There is no cure for autism,

but I think Steven is perfect the way he is.

One of my favorite memories with Steven is whenever a firetruck passes us.

He shouts out, "When I grow up, I want to be a firetruck."

(Laughter)

That always makes me smile.

He likes the idea of being a fireman,

but he loves the idea of being a firetruck.

(Laughter)

Another thing that always makes me laugh is how much he likes to eat.

Have you ever met someone who can eat a steak,

a slice of pizza, french fries, apple pie, ice cream,

and they are still starving?

Well, Steven eats all that almost every time we see him.

Finally,

one of my favorite memories with Steven is when we play hide-and-seek.

He always hides in the closets.

(Laughter)

I love playing hide-and-seek with Steven.

It always makes me smile.

But not just me.

He makes everyone smile.

I don't think we need a cure for autism,

just like we don't need a cure for freckles.

Autism is not a disease, just like brown hair isn't a disease.

You don't need to fix something that isn't broken.

I look up to my Uncle Steven as he is the happiest person I know.

Steven doesn't try to be like anyone else.

He is exactly who he was meant to be.

Imagine a world where we all live like Steven.

Find out what makes you different.

Don't be afraid to stand out.

Wake up, jump out of bed, and be exactly who you are.

We are all a little different, and that's awesome!

Thank you.

(Applause)

(Cheers)