How To Get A Woman Obsessed With You

Summary

This video script delves into the darker side of relationship dynamics, cautioning viewers on the ethical use of powerful techniques to foster obsession in a partner. It emphasizes the importance of using these strategies for positive, long-lasting relationships and not for manipulation. The script explores concepts like absence, variable rewards, and the value of earned appreciation to create a deeper connection. It also discusses specific tactics such as disqualification, strategic silence, narrative framing, preemptive freeze-outs, and suspenseful open loops to enhance attraction and investment without causing harm.

Takeaways

• 🚨 Warning: The techniques discussed are powerful and can be used for positive relationships or create toxic situations, so they must be used responsibly.
• 💡 Responsibility: Once a woman becomes obsessed, the man is somewhat responsible for her well-being and should treat her well to avoid negative consequences.
• 💖 Understanding: Love or obsession is an internal process that happens when the object of affection is not present, often fueled by distance or absence.
• 🎰 Gambling Analogy: The unpredictability of rewards, like in gambling, can create addiction and obsession due to the anticipation of variable payouts.
• 📚 Academic Achievement: The value of an achievement is often higher if it is harder to obtain, which can apply to relationships where effort leads to greater appreciation.
• 👦👩 Family Dynamics: A person might be more emotionally affected by the loss of a difficult relationship than a positive one, indicating the complexity of emotional attachment.
• 🔄 Absence & Disappointment: Occasional absence or disappointment can make positive experiences more valued and can enhance the intensity of a relationship.
• 🚫 Disqualification: Genuinely challenging or pushing a girl away can create investment and desire if done at the right time and with the right calibration.
• 📵 Leaving on Read: Strategically not responding to a text can create suspense and make the other person chase, but it requires careful timing and understanding of the situation.
• 🖋 Framing & Storytelling: Creating a narrative around the relationship can increase the perceived value and specialness, fostering a deeper emotional connection.
• ❄️ Preemptive Freeze-Out: Unexpectedly pulling away at high points in an interaction can create tension and anticipation, which can be more effective than reacting negatively to rejection.

Q & A

What are the two main warnings given by the speaker at the beginning of the video?

The speaker warns that the techniques discussed can be powerful and should be used for good, not evil, to create positive relationships rather than toxic situations. The second warning is to be careful what you wish for, as being responsible for someone who is obsessed with you can lead to negative consequences if not treated well.

What is the key message in the quote 'Falling in love is not something someone does to you, it's something you do to yourself'?

The key message is that love or obsession is an internal process that occurs within an individual's mind, often when the object of their affection is not present, suggesting that the feeling is something one cultivates internally rather than something imposed by another.

How does the speaker relate gambling machines to the concept of obsession?

The speaker uses gambling machines as an example to illustrate how variable payouts create anticipation and addiction. This unpredictability of reward is what makes gambling machines addictive, and a similar principle can apply to creating obsession in relationships.

What is the significance of the story about the boy with an abusive father and a caring mother?

The story demonstrates that the intensity of emotional investment and the impact of loss can be greater for individuals who have a more challenging or complex relationship, even if it's negative, as opposed to a consistently positive one.

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of absence in creating obsession?

The speaker emphasizes absence because it allows the other person to miss the positive experiences and realize their value, thus potentially deepening their attachment and feelings of obsession.

What is the concept of 'disqualifying' in the context of the speaker's discussion?

Disqualifying refers to the act of genuinely pushing someone away or expressing resistance in a relationship. It's a technique that can create investment by showing that the pursuer is not easily attainable, thus increasing their perceived value.

How does the speaker suggest using text messaging strategically to create obsession?

The speaker suggests leaving gaps in text messaging, especially at strategic times when the conversation has reached a natural stopping point or when the girl sends a committal text, to create suspense and make the girl chase, thus increasing her investment in the relationship.

What is the role of framing and storytelling in creating an obsessive attachment?

Framing and storytelling play a crucial role in shaping the narrative of the relationship, making oneself the prize, and creating a shared story that enhances the perceived value and uniqueness of the relationship, thus fostering a deeper attachment.

What is the difference between a reactive freeze-out and a pre-emptive freeze-out as described by the speaker?

A reactive freeze-out is a punitive measure taken in response to rejection, which the speaker considers manipulative and ineffective. A pre-emptive freeze-out, on the other hand, is a strategic move made when things are going well to create tension and anticipation, enhancing the interaction and potentially increasing obsession.

How can creating suspenseful open loops affect a person's emotional state?

Creating suspenseful open loops can lead to anxiety and anticipation, as the person is left wondering about the outcome. This can be more emotionally consuming than the actual event or revelation, as it plays on the person's imagination and fear of the unknown.

What is the speaker's final advice regarding the use of the discussed techniques?

The speaker advises using the techniques for good, within the context of positive relationships, and warns against misuse that could lead to negative consequences, emphasizing the importance of ethical behavior and respect in interactions.

Outlines

00:00

🚨 Warnings and Ethics in Relationship Dynamics

The speaker begins by cautioning that the content of the video delves into manipulative techniques that could be used to make a woman obsessed. Two warnings are issued: first, to use the techniques ethically and for good, as they can be powerful and potentially harmful; second, to be aware of the responsibility that comes with having someone obsessed, as neglect or mistreatment could lead to negative consequences. The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding love and obsession before applying any techniques, suggesting that these feelings are internal and can be influenced by absence and presence.

05:02

🎲 The Role of Absence and Disappointment in Building Obsession

This paragraph explores the idea that constant presence and positivity can lead to being taken for granted, whereas occasional absence can make a person miss and appreciate the positive aspects more. The speaker uses the example of gambling to illustrate how variable rewards create addiction and obsession. The concept of valuing effort and the potential disappointment in training animals or academic settings is also discussed, highlighting the importance of unpredictability and the inclusion of some negative experiences to enhance the appreciation of positive ones.

10:02

🔄 Techniques for Implementing Absence and Disappointment

The speaker introduces five techniques to create obsession, starting with 'disqualifying,' which involves genuinely pushing a girl away to create a sense of challenge and resistance. The timing and sincerity of this technique are crucial, as it should be used when there is already some level of investment from the girl. The paragraph emphasizes the importance of calibration and ethical use of these techniques, warning against misuse due to their power.

15:03

📵 Strategic Silence in Communication to Create Suspense

Discussing the art of leaving a conversation at the right moment to create suspense and tension, the speaker advises not to respond immediately to a girl's text, especially when there is no further progression possible in the conversation. Two specific situations are highlighted where leaving a girl 'on read' can be beneficial: when the texting has reached a natural conclusion for the day, or when she sends a text that requires a thoughtful response. The aim is to create a sense of uncertainty and chase, rather than appearing desperate or too available.

20:05

🖋 Framing and Storytelling as Tools for Deepening Connection

The speaker introduces the concept of narrative and framing in relationships, explaining how the story between two people can influence their interactions and perceptions. Encouraging narratives that position oneself as the prize and fostering stories that highlight the unique connection between two people can lead to a stronger, more obsessive attachment. The speaker advises to be careful not to appear too eager while encouraging these narratives, and to use them to create a sense of shared history and value.

25:06

❄️ The Preemptive Freeze-Out: A Technique for Enhancing Attraction

The paragraph discusses the misuse of the 'freeze-out' technique, where a person pulls away after rejection, which is seen as manipulative and ineffective. Instead, the speaker recommends a 'preemptive freeze-out,' where one intentionally creates distance or pauses an interaction at a high point to build tension and anticipation. This technique is meant to enhance the interaction and create a stronger emotional response, rather than as a punishment or reaction to a negative event.

🔍 The Power of Suspense and Open Loops in Emotional Investment

The final paragraph delves into the concept of suspense and open loops, using the dread of not knowing as a tool to create emotional investment. The speaker provides examples of how leaving a situation unresolved can lead to intense feelings of worry and anticipation, which can be more powerful than the actual event. The technique of creating open loops is suggested as a way to build tension and increase a girl's emotional investment in the relationship.

🙏 Ethical Considerations and the Importance of Positive Relationships

Concluding the video, the speaker reiterates the importance of using the discussed techniques ethically and for good, emphasizing that they are more effective within the context of a positive relationship. The potential for negative consequences, such as harm to oneself or others, is highlighted, and the speaker urges viewers to act ethically and responsibly, promoting the creation of positive relationships over manipulative ones.

Keywords

💡Obsession

Obsession refers to an excessive and persistent thought or preoccupation with something or someone. In the context of the video, it is discussed as a psychological state that can be cultivated in relationships. The video suggests that obsession can be a powerful tool if used ethically, but it warns against its misuse, as it can lead to negative outcomes. The speaker provides examples of how obsession can be created through absence and variable rewards, drawing parallels to gambling and other addictive behaviors.

💡Disqualification

Disqualification, in the video, is a technique used in social interactions where one person appears to push the other person away or express reluctance. It's used as a way to create intrigue and challenge, which can paradoxically increase the other person's interest. The video explains that genuine disqualification can be powerful when used at the right time, such as when there's already some level of investment from the other person, but it must be calibrated carefully to avoid negative consequences.

💡Variable Payouts

Variable payouts are used in the video as an analogy to describe the unpredictability that can make certain behaviors addictive or obsessive. The video explains that, similar to gambling machines that don't always pay out, creating an element of uncertainty in relationships can lead to obsession. This is because the unpredictability keeps the person engaged, always anticipating the next reward, which can be a powerful tool for creating a sense of attachment.

💡Anticipation

Anticipation is the feeling of expecting or looking forward to a future event. In the video, it is mentioned as a key component in creating obsession. The speaker suggests that by creating situations where the outcome is uncertain, one can increase the level of anticipation, which in turn can lead to a deeper emotional investment and potentially obsession.

💡Investment

Investment, in the context of the video, refers to the emotional or psychological commitment one person has towards another in a relationship. The video discusses how to increase this investment through various techniques, such as disqualification and creating absence. The idea is that the more someone invests emotionally in a relationship, the more likely they are to become obsessed or attached.

💡Framing

Framing is a communication technique where the context or narrative around a situation is shaped to influence perceptions. In the video, the speaker talks about framing oneself as the prize or creating a narrative where the girl is chasing the guy, which can lead to a more obsessive attachment. The video suggests that the way a relationship is framed can significantly impact the dynamics and the level of obsession.

💡Pre-emptive Freeze-Out

A pre-emptive freeze-out is a technique discussed in the video where one person withdraws or becomes less engaged at a high point in the interaction, not as a reaction to a negative event but to create tension and anticipation. This is different from a typical freeze-out, which is often used reactively as a form of punishment. The video explains that a pre-emptive freeze-out can be an effective way to increase obsession by creating a sense of mystery and uncertainty.

💡Suspenseful Open Loop

A suspenseful open loop is a technique where an interaction is left unresolved or an issue is mentioned without providing immediate closure. The video describes how this can create a sense of suspense and anxiety, which can lead to increased thought and emotional investment. The speaker gives an example of sending a message that says 'we need to talk,' which leaves the recipient in a state of uncertainty and can potentially lead to obsession as they ponder the meaning and implications.

💡Validation Sensitivity

Validation sensitivity refers to the degree to which someone seeks external confirmation or approval. The video suggests that women are often more validation-sensitive than men, which means they may react more strongly to situations that create doubt or uncertainty about their value or the status of a relationship. This sensitivity can be leveraged to create obsession, as the video discusses.

💡Ethical Use

Ethical use is a concept that runs throughout the video, emphasizing the importance of using the discussed techniques in a responsible and moral way. The speaker warns against using these methods to manipulate or harm others, advocating for their use in creating positive and healthy relationships. The video underscores the potential negative consequences of misuse and encourages viewers to consider the ethical implications of their actions.

Highlights

The video discusses powerful techniques on creating obsession in relationships, with a strong emphasis on using them ethically for good.

Warns against misuse, as the techniques can lead to toxic situations and emphasizes responsibility once a woman becomes obsessed.

Explains the psychological phenomenon of love and obsession, highlighting that it's an internal process influenced by absence and presence.

Uses gambling as an analogy to explain the concept of variable payouts creating addiction and obsession.

Illustrates the value of effort and achievement through the anecdote of two different professors and their grading styles.

Shares a story about a boy with an abusive father to demonstrate how emotional investment can be stronger with negative experiences.

Advises on the importance of absence in relationships to create appreciation for positive interactions.

Introduces the concept of disqualifying or pushing away as a technique to create investment and interest.

Discusses the strategic use of leaving the conversation at a high point to create suspense and anticipation.

Introduces the technique of leaving silences in text conversations to avoid appearing desperate and to create tension.

Advocates for creating narratives or stories about the relationship to increase emotional investment.

Describes the use of 'freeze out' as a technique to create tension and make the other person chase, but warns against its misuse.

Presents the 'pre-emptive freeze-out' as an effective variation of the freeze-out technique to enhance interaction.

Talks about the suspenseful open loop as a method to create anticipation and anxiety, which can lead to obsession.

Concludes with a reminder to use the discussed techniques ethically and responsibly to foster positive relationships.

Transcripts

how to get a woman obsessed with you

here we go

i'll be honest with you this video

really borders on the dark side of game

and for that reason i thought long and

hard about not putting it out i decided

to put it out but i'm gonna give you two

warnings going in warning number one

please use these techniques for good and

not for evil alright these are very

powerful techniques and they can be used

to create very powerful long-lasting

positive relationships or they can be

used to create some very toxic

situations i suggest you do the former

rather than the latter the second kind

of warning i'm going to give you is be

careful what you wish for once you get a

woman obsessed with you

you're kind of responsible for her in

some ways and bad things can happen if

you treat her badly once you get her

obsessed etc it's no secret that um hell

hath no fury like a woman scoring if you

know what i mean so um be careful what

you wish for do not use these techniques

in a situation where you actually don't

want the girl obsessed with you do not

use this trifling all right so that said

you've been warned

[Music]

to start this video it's important that

we understand what love or obsession

actually are because if you don't

understand that all the techniques in

the world all the techniques i'm going

to teach you aren't going to be very

helpful to you so you need to understand

what you're going for and you understand

kind of the mechanisms the psychological

phenomena at play so i'm going to give

you some examples some anecdotes of love

and obsession to help kind of clarify

that for you and then i'll get into the

specific techniques of things you can do

directly to implement these types of

strategies the first one i give you is

very anecdotal it's actually a quote i

heard a long time ago which is that

falling in love is not something someone

does to you it's something you do to

yourself when they're not around think

about that okay falling in love is

something you do to yourself when

they're not around or flipping it around

is something a girl does to herself when

you're not around so what does this mean

it means that it's something internal

going on in the girl's mind and it also

means there has to be some distance

there has to be some space or some

absence to create it so that's the first

thing i want to kind of give to as an

example second thing i want to give to

as an example

is comes from studies of gambling

if you have gambling machines that pay

off all the time

they actually would be boring right if

like they were losing and paid off all

the time it'd be obvious and boring even

if they were winning you wouldn't be

you'd want to play them for profit but

you wouldn't wouldn't actually be

obsessed to it wouldn't be addictive the

thing that makes gambling machines

addictive is the variable payouts the

fact that you don't know when you're

going to be rewarded you don't know when

you're going to be punished and so it

becomes very addictive where you pull

that lever and you don't know and

there's that anticipation anticipation

is part of what can create an addiction

that's the next concept i want you to

understand right that variable payouts

create obsession create addiction create

trained or learned behavior next example

i want to tell you is imagine you're in

school and you had two different

professors one professor gives everyone

an a all the time the other professor

never gives good grades and you have to

work super super hard but the first

professor if he gave you an a gave you

the nicest thing he can give you in

terms of your academic future and your

gpa and all that kind of stuff you just

shrug and move on with this other

teacher if you had to work and work and

work and strive and you got a b plus

even though he kind of hurt you

academically or he hurt your gpa you

would value that b plus more than you

valued the a from the other professor

and if you did happen to somehow get an

a from that professor that was very

tough and very demanding you would value

it even more so the final anecdote i'm

going to give you is an old story that's

like almost a cliche and i don't know if

it's actually true or ever happened but

it rings true and the story is this

there's a boy who grew up with an

abusive father and a very very nice kind

caring mother and he hated his father

and his father was awful to him and he

you know had tons of negative emotions

tons of issues because of his father and

his mother was always there being sweet

supportive nice etc so anyway he grows

up becomes a man shorten the story

eventually as he gets older his parents

pass away first his mother passes away

and he loved his mother he cared for his

mother but at the mother's funeral he

couldn't raise a tear it just it he

loved her he cared he missed her but he

didn't have that that emotional

investment level and then when his

abusive father died a few years later he

bawled his eyes out and he couldn't stop

crying and the idea here whether it's a

true story or not the idea here is while

he loved his mother and cared for his

mother he built his entire identity

around his father and so on a personal

level the loss of his father meant more

or was a bigger change to his world than

the loss of his mother even though he

probably liked his mother more and had a

much more positive association with his

mother okay so those are a series of

anecdotes obviously they're not

scientific studies they're not something

like that other than the gambling one

but they mean a lot and they go to the

types of techniques we're going to use

if we do want to create obsession

and the first thing i want to focus on

is this idea of absence

right if you are constantly with someone

and you're constantly providing positive

emotions to someone what happens

well they start to get used to positive

emotions they start to get used to your

presence and they start to take it for

granted right and as soon as you're

taken for granted you're in a bad way in

fact that's one of like the death knells

for a relationship right if anybody in a

relationship is being taken for granted

it's usually a sign of the beginning of

the end of the relationship

however

if contrary to that or contrasting that

you were to provide all kinds of

positive things provide all kinds of

positive experiences and then

occasionally be missing or be absent the

person would have an opportunity to miss

those positives and actually realize how

good they were right and so weirdly

enough and by missing them and

appreciating them more they would

actually you know enjoy those positives

more and have an overall more positive

interaction more positive relationship

so ironically instead of if you were

thinking about the amount of good and

positive you're putting out into the

world like per time if you're putting

out 100 positivity all the time

the value being absorbed by the other

person and the amount of connection and

obsession being created in the other

person would actually be less than if

you actually put out you know a hundred

percent and then like zero percent or

100 and then 30 and there's this

variation and there's this absence so i

want you to understand that that absence

is actually very very useful

along the lines of this absence is also

disappointment right because again if

the experience with someone is always

positive positive positive positive

then

they just get used to it they take it

for granted but if you give someone an

occasional disappointment

then it allows them to note the positive

even more and this is actually true when

you talk about training animals right if

you were to train an animal to come when

it's called right maybe train your dog

to come with call train your cat to come

when it's called and each time it comes

you feed it but if every single time

when the animal comes you feed it

then if you ever stop feeding it now all

of a sudden it learns very quickly

you're not feeding it anymore and it

will stop coming when it's called but if

during the training process you feed it

most of the time but sometimes not and

then you feed it occasionally but most

of the time not and then you just feed

it you know very sporadically it will

actually ingrain the habit very very

deeply and the longer you can go without

feeding it and have it come when it's

called the deeper the habit is built and

the more trained the animal is right so

this idea of having a variation of

experiences the idea of not being

predictable and the idea of having some

negatives mixed in so that someone can

appreciate the positive is actually very

very important in a relationship that on

a practical level if you were giving a

girl a positive experience all the time

in a relationship the only way to

actually do that in the real world would

to be supplicate to her bend over

backwards for her those kinds of things

which would make you needy and would be

low value behaviors and might actually

make her disdain you so it doesn't work

on a practical level either that all

probably sounds interesting in theory

and i hope you you follow that and you

kind of get it emotionally but that

doesn't answer the question how do you

actually implement this how do you

actually do it in practice so with that

in mind i'm gonna give you five

different techniques that you can use to

actually implement this and they're

going to go from pretty basic stuff you

may have heard before to some incredibly

advanced stuff that you've almost

certainly not heard of or not thought of

before so the first one i want to talk

about is something you've definitely

heard of before but it gets massively

underutilized in game which is

disqualifying okay legitimately

actually pushing the girl away being a

little resistant being a little hesitant

giving the girl an actual hard time in

game and i'm not talking about little qt

teases like part of me loves you and

part of me hates you with a smile on

your face that does work and it does

work in part because there is a an

element of teasing disqualification

there and you're simulating being

flirtatious you're stimulating

disqualification but i'm talking about

real disqualification

where you actually truly challenge

someone or you actually truly do give a

reason why you and the girl might not

work out right where you're legitimately

like with a girl and you clearly like

each other and you're like you know this

probably isn't gonna work right

and she's like why are you like well

listen we just we live too far away i

mean we like each other it's just it's

not practical i think we kind of i don't

think we need to get invested and

potentially break each other's hearts

and stuff like i just don't know if it's

a good idea right something like that

where it's actually sincere and you

actually mean it now obviously this has

to be calibrated and this has to be done

at a time when she likes you enough

already to care and that's the funny

thing about this these techniques to

create investments work better once

there's already investment so once

there's a little bit of investment you

can use one of these investment

magnifiers or multipliers to get much

more investments and then because

there's much more investment you can use

another one of these magnifier

multipliers to get much more investment

so you have to get the girl to like you

a little bit be invested just a little

bit because of good emotions because of

the positives that you're bringing and

it is important if you never bring a

positive you never bring a good emotion

to a girl none of this will work anyway

right but once you do have that little

bit of investment you can multiply it to

more and more and more and deeper and

deeper investment and these legitimate

push aways actually do have that effect

right and obviously a teasing push away

might be a good way to start to get a

little bit of investment a little bit of

buy-in and then you can do a more real

legitimate push away and again you do

need to be calibrated right these are

powerful techniques and what happens

when something's powerful is it can be

misused right it's like if you have like

a little tool like a screwdriver or a

hammer you know you can only do so much

damage when you start talking about like

power tools or like military grade

weapons you can do a lot more damage so

yes it's much more powerful but it's

also much more dangerous and calibration

is absolutely critical here the next

technique i want to give you is leaving

the girl on red strategically at the

right times

so obviously if you just never respond

to a girl's text that's not a good text

messaging strategy because it's not

going to go anywhere there's not enough

to it to go anywhere on the other hand

though if you're texting back

immediately all the time you look needy

you look desperate the girl knows she

can have you and there isn't a lot of

suspense or tension there so somewhere

in between is good

but the question is how can you leave

silences and leave those gaps in such a

way that it doesn't destroy the

continuity it doesn't destroy the

progression of the texting and one good

answer to that is to leave silences and

gaps at very strategic good times i'll

give you two specific times when it's

often not always but it can definitely

be a good idea to not text the girl back

or at least not text the girl back right

away so situation one is

let's say you're texting a girl and it's

it's kind of ladish into the evening

you're not gonna hang out with her

tonight for whatever reason either

you're busy she's busy it's not possible

you're far away whatever you're not

gonna hang out with her tonight so

you're not losing anything by ending the

texting and you've kind of come to a

point where she sent the last text

and there's nothing more to be achieved

tonight

you know the the emotions are good the

teasing is good there's no further

escalation possible and a lot of guys

will send something like sounds good

good night or sweet dreams or like a

thumbs up or something like that or okay

i'll hit you back tomorrow something

like that and what that does it closes

the loop right it definitely it makes

the girl completely comfortable it makes

the girl know she can have you it makes

her completely secure and it takes away

any seed of doubt in her mind it also

means that if she doesn't text you next

and you text her next you're going to be

double texting her

so it's a situation where there's

absolutely nothing gained by texting

there's nothing to be achieved from that

text and there's plenty to be lost

you're losing the suspense and you're

losing the fact that if she doesn't text

back now you have to double text so in

that situation where the texting is good

she sent the last message and there's

nothing left to achieve i would strongly

consider not texting anything else that

night just leave it and then especially

we've been texting back fairly actively

and then one of two things will happen

either she won't text back in which case

you text the next day and it's the same

as if you texted that night except now

you're restarting the conversation when

there's more to be achieved right you're

restarting the conversation on a day

when maybe the conversation can go

longer or you actually can hang out or

it can go somewhere so it's actually

better than it would have been and she

waited a little bit and wondered or

possibly she waits and wonders and then

texts you again that night because she

worries that like she offended you or

she worries where you went or she starts

to feel lonely or miss you and now

you're getting the seed of that

obsession you're getting the seed of her

chasing which is much much much better

right so either way there's nothing lost

and something possibly again this is a

very opportune time to not text that

night wait till the next day and then

you can follow up as as you would have

anyway with nothing lost and then if she

follows up instead of you or if she even

has the thoughts of falling up and

wonders if she should follow up even if

she doesn't do it you've gained

something in the interaction you've

gotten her more attached to you than you

would have had you texted right then and

there second time that it's often very

good to leave the girl on red for at

least a little bit is when she sends a

very committal text or a very try-hard

text

so for example let's say the girl tries

for like a joke in text and it's kind of

lame

um it's a good time to just go silent

for a few hours

especially if you've been texting back

pretty actively maybe just go silent for

a little bit or if you're texting you

know more sporadically like a couple

times a day maybe just go silent for a

day or something like that and then you

can hit her back up and she's gonna

worry and wonder oh was that lame

did i look did i look stupid does he not

like me did he did i did i offend him

with that joke and she's very likely to

double text maybe apologize maybe

qualify herself maybe jump in and ask

you a question just to not get silence

from you etc and again you're creating

the situation where she's the one

chasing you instead of you chasing her

think back to all those times when you

sent something that you thought was

clever or creative or interesting or

funny to a girl and then you didn't get

a response back you're like oh uh

what did i do wrong this text sucks and

you start showing your friends you start

obsessing about it you start thinking

should i text her again you're doing

that same exact thing to her except

girls feel it 10 times more strongly

than you do because they're way more

validation sensitive than we are as men

okay so these are two very good

situations we're just leaving it on red

there's nothing lost you can always text

a few hours later you always text the

next day etc but there's so much to be

gained if she does double text you

triple text you etc and even if she

doesn't if she had the inclination to if

she's the urge to if she looked back in

her pocket and thought about it you

still gain something even if she didn't

send the double text the next technique

is a much more general one it's not a

specific one-off kind of do this

specific thing say the specific line

thing it's an overall theme that can

exist throughout your entire interaction

and this has to do with framing and sort

of storytelling if you checked out my

course the system or watch deeply into

some of my materials you may be familiar

with the concept of narrative right

narrative is at least as expressed in

the system the idea of the story between

you and the girl how how she is

interpreting the situation it's the

frame which determines the events right

so um is the frame that she's chasing

you or that you're chasing her depending

which frame exists all of the different

actions you picking her up for a date

versus her picking you up for a date

versus you getting her a gift or her

getting you a gift or you kissing or

having sex all these things have a

different meaning depending on who is

perceived to be chasing depending on who

is perceived to be the prize so setting

yourself up as the prize is one example

of framing and storytelling that will

lead to a more obsessive girl than if

the frame was that you're chasing her

another great form of narrative

storytelling

is the story of us the story of you and

the girl and how you met the story of

you and the girl and what you mean to

each other why you're good together so

as much as you can you want to encourage

these narratives in the girl where

possible if she has some kind of like

cool story of how you and she met and

she likes telling it to her friends um

encourage that right let her tell that

story right be positive about that story

even like feed into the story as well

those kind of things if she has

particular things she loves about your

particular similarities that she really

highlights and likes to talk about you

know encourage that narrative talk up

that narrative occasionally do a little

like subtle reminder of those kind of

things you want to create again that

story that you're special a lot of like

the best couples

have those stories they have those those

inside stories inside jokes and

especially like those those kind of

sweet little things that they share

those little things that are part of

their story um so definitely encourage

those to happen now you want to be

careful because the other elements of

framing right which is that you're not

chasing so if it looks like you're

trying super hard to create this

similarity that's not good but when

these things come up naturally when an

opportunity arises spontaneously when

she seems to be going in that direction

anyway certainly don't stop her

and certainly even encourage it or play

along a little bit to build up that

narrative because what is the difference

between a relationship and two people

that are just attracted to each other

really what it is it's the story that

the two people have decided to tell

themselves they've decided to tell

themselves this story about why they're

good together and they decided to

share some experiences and value those

experiences to the extent that they

would have a hard time finding that

shared experience in someone else

someone of equivalent value where you

have shared experiences is actually of a

higher value to you than someone

equivalent value where you don't have

those shared experiences so the shared

experiences become a form of value they

become a form of justification they

become a form of the story you tell

yourself adding to the perceived beauty

of your life your own self-esteem your

own self-worth etc etc so encourage

these stories where they can occur right

first of all frame yourself um in

the positive way create that good story

about who you are relative to her but

also create great stories about who you

guys are together great story for

example is the idea of you and her

against the world that's a great framing

um that you can use at times the next

technique i want to share with you is

one of the most powerful

most misunderstood and most misused

techniques in all of game and this is a

technique called the freeze out

and the way most guys use the freeze out

is really wrong and kind of bad the way

most guys use a freeze out for example

is with regards to say your things are

moving towards sex they're progressing

towards some sort of escalation or some

sort of outcome you want

and then

if a guy gets rejected what he will do

is he'll kind of go cold or go silent or

pull away and the idea is that you're

sort of like punishing the girl's

rejection and you're sort of making her

feel the loss of you um and and that's

supposed to make her come around and the

idea is that um she's supposed to feel

that losing your attention

hurt more or was more uncomfortable than

whatever escalation she was resisting

and so you're sort of like

sort of emotionally blackmailing her

almost into doing what you want this is

a terrible thing to do both in terms of

manipulation and being kind of evil also

in terms of it doesn't really work very

well because it's kind of obvious it's

kind of reactive right the idea is that

like she just did something bad and then

you like you know immediately

in a reaction to her do something mean

back it's just it's very transparent it

doesn't work very well and it's not

ideal right um so i don't really like

this technique both because it's kind of

mean and cruel and kind of it's the idea

and the intention behind it is actually

inherently kind of evil um and it also

doesn't work very well however

there's a different version of a freeze

out which is not as reactive not as evil

but much more effective and this is what

i call a pre-emptive freeze-out and so

what i will do say for example again

you're escalating maybe things are

moving towards moving in a sexual

direction but you're not completely sure

it's going to go all the way to sex or

even if you are you just want to create

more tension to make the interaction

better to create more buy-in to make the

sex better even because it's part of

foreplay what you might do is along the

way when there's no obstruction towards

sex you might actually create an

obstruction or you might just pull away

randomly

so let's say you're sitting on the bed

making out and it's going pretty well

and you're like man we can maybe have

sex now um but instead of pushing

forward and trying to have sex like 99.9

percent of guys would do and being that

pushy guy that's like all you know

grabby and handsy and whatnot and and

clearly has an agenda instead what you

do is you in that that high point at

that high moment instead of trying to

escalate which you know escalating on a

high point makes sense in game but

instead of escalating at a high point

you intentionally pull away right

intentionally like at that moment you go

hang on hold that thought for a second

and you leave the room go do something

maybe if you're drinking wine you go

like you go refill the wine glasses and

just take a minute and then maybe when

you come back instead of sitting right

back down on the bed and going back to

making out which would be the obvious

thing instead maybe instead of sitting

back on the bed you go sit on the chair

next to the bed and the girl wonders

what the heck

why did he stop when things were good

why did he leave the room why would he

hit him back did he not jump back into

making out with me and now she starts to

be a little bit obsessed and actually is

a good a good lesson for game and a good

kind of story um one of the great ways

that this technique came about

was from someone who was an early mentor

of mine he was on a date and there was a

situation where there was kind of a pool

and a hot tub in him and a girl and so

what he did is he sat in the hot tub

with a girl thinking things were all

good and going all smoothly and the girl

got up out of the hot tub and dove into

the pool and just swam in the pool so

now he's sitting sitting in the hot tub

all by himself while the girls in the

pool he's like well this sucks we're not

talking she's just swimming around i'm

just sitting here what's going on

and so he waited just enough time to

like not make it seem needy and he got

up and dove in the pool after and went

to do like the whole swimmy swimmy

splashy splashy sexy sexy thing

except she she played along for a minute

or two and then she got up went out of

the pool and went and sat in the hot tub

and then he's sitting there in the pool

and she's in the hot tub and the more

times this happened the more needy it

looked and so that sort of preemptive

freeze out when things were going very

well there was no reason to stop it her

stopping it made him chase right now

again flip it around if you do the same

kind of a thing to a girl

understand that her reaction to it's

gonna be ten times stronger because

girls are much more validation based in

their emotions and they're much less

used to that sort of thing they're much

less used to be putting in the position

of being the chaser and so it definitely

has a bigger effect on them so this idea

of the preemptive freeze out stopping

things going a little bit cold with

drawing attention a little bit when

things are actually already going well

not as a reaction not as a punishment

but as a heightener as an enhancer as a

way to get the emotions higher to create

more tension to create more foreplay and

more arousal that actually is very very

useful and can be very very effective

and good final example i want to give

you is the example of the suspenseful

open loop

the idea of the dread of not knowing the

idea of waiting and anxiety anxiety and

anticipation etc

imagine um if you ever when you when you

were young if you ever did something bad

right you did something that you weren't

supposed to do and you're like worried

about getting caught you're worried

about your teacher finding out you're

worried about your parents finding out

et cetera et cetera and just eats at you

and eats at you and eats at you and

bothers you and that's all you can think

about and it just like consumes all of

your emotions like i hope i don't get

caught i hope it didn't happen etc

that feeling

is usually far worse than whatever

feeling you would get if you actually

did get caught and did get punished

right you punish yourself far more the

anxiety the anticipation is far stronger

than even the worst case

and you know oftentimes nothing happens

and all the punishment you did all the

obsession was was for nothing now you

can create that same sort of thing in a

girl by just creating open loops so

imagine this just put yourself in this

scenario you're going about your day

you're with you know you have a

girlfriend you really love you're going

about your day at work and then all of a

sudden you get a message from your

girlfriend text message from the middle

of day it says we need to talk

that's it

we need to talk

all right and then you go what the

what's going on et cetera et cetera you

leave the business meeting you're in you

call her up and she doesn't answer

imagine how you would feel in that

situation be like what

what's going on

and you'd be killing yourself all day

right and then if at the end of the day

it turned out it was a totally positive

thing like she's planning a trip

together

now you get the positive of the trip but

you also get all that anticipation all

that worry all that like are we gonna

break up did i do something wrong did

this that the other right so you created

all this tension you created all this

suspense and all this mystery because of

the open loop the open loops

occasionally something bad but not

nearly as bad as anticipated it might

even be a good way to break bad news too

because it's a relief that it's not even

that bad but the idea of the open loop

the idea of suspense the idea that the

wonder and the tension

really builds remember this idea that

falling in love or getting obsessed is

not something someone does to you it's

something you do to yourself when

they're not around so i hope you enjoyed

that dive into some of the dark but

highly effective techniques of game but

i do want to warn you once again

please use these techniques for good

there's a number of reasons for this

number one they're more effective in the

context of a positive relationship so

just please create positive

relationships instead of negative ones

two again getting girls obsessed with

you and very attached to you in negative

ways can definitely have blowback can

lead to slash tires and far worse

again hell hath no fury like a woman

scoring so please please please don't

use and abuse women also it's just

immoral unethical and sometimes illegal

so please use the techniques for good

and not for evil they'll be much more

rewarding and it's just just please be a

good human being all right so i hope you

enjoyed them i hope you like that if you

do like these deep dives and the highly

powerful surprising techniques you'll

also probably like this video on the

three surprising sex triggers the three

reasons girls have sex that you might

not be aware so i bet you'll enjoy that

as well take care thanks for listening

see you next time

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you