Study yourself to become confident

Thewizardliz
22 Aug 202427:32

Summary

TLDRIn this empowering video, Liz encourages viewers to unlock their ultimate confidence by understanding and embracing their authentic selves. She discusses the importance of self-awareness, setting boundaries, and living according to one's own values. Liz emphasizes the significance of changing negative self-perceptions, acting with intention rather than reacting to life, and recognizing non-negotiables in relationships. She also touches on the impact of societal norms on self-image and the healing power of acknowledging and releasing pent-up emotions. By taking responsibility for one's life and not being addicted to past suffering, Liz inspires viewers to live a life of freedom and self-respect.

Takeaways

  • 🌟 Self-awareness is crucial for personal growth; understanding your likes, dislikes, and boundaries is key to authentic living.
  • πŸ™ Gratitude towards sponsors like BetterHelp for providing online therapy platforms that facilitate access to professional help from the comfort of home.
  • πŸ€” The concept of 'self' is often shaped by societal influences and can be changed to align with one's authentic self.
  • πŸ—£οΈ Changing self-talk is vital; it can transform ingrained beliefs formed during childhood and promote a healthier self-image.
  • πŸ’” Acknowledging and challenging societal beauty standards can help individuals develop a more positive and personal perception of beauty.
  • πŸ’‘ The importance of distinguishing between acting and reacting in life; making conscious decisions leads to increased confidence.
  • 🚫 Identifying non-negotiables in life, such as loyalty in relationships, sets clear boundaries and fosters self-respect.
  • πŸ’ž Recognizing the transformative power of a woman's decision to leave an unhealthy situation and the strength that follows.
  • 🧠 The impact of society on dopamine receptors and the potential dangers of substance abuse as a means to seek excitement.
  • πŸ” Understanding personal triggers and their origins can lead to healing and improved relationships with others.
  • πŸ”„ The significance of recognizing and breaking repetitive patterns in life that may stem from unresolved past issues.
  • 🀝 Taking responsibility for one's life and refusing to be a victim of circumstances leads to empowerment and success.
  • 🚫 Avoiding addiction to suffering and drama, and the importance of creating a peaceful and calm personal reality.
  • 🌱 Surrounding oneself with people who positively influence and energize can significantly impact one's mood and outlook on life.
  • πŸ“š The value of learning from books, people, and experiences as they provide insights and lessons tailored to individual perspectives.
  • πŸ’‘ Living in the present moment, appreciating what one has, and using current resources to create a fulfilling future.
  • πŸ‘€ Understanding that others' opinions are beyond one's control and focusing on personal authenticity over external validation.
  • πŸ’ͺ Believing in oneself and one's worth, irrespective of what others say, is a powerful tool for personal empowerment and achieving goals.

Q & A

  • What is the key to unlocking ultimate confidence according to the speaker?

    -The key to unlocking ultimate confidence is to get to know who you are, understand what you like and dislike, and accept what you will and won't accept. It involves studying oneself and one's behaviors.

  • What is the role of BetterHelp as mentioned in the script?

    -BetterHelp is an online therapy platform that provides access to over 30,000 therapists. It offers a service where individuals can fill out a questionnaire to assess their needs and get matched with a therapist, allowing for video, phone, or message-based sessions from the comfort of their own home.

  • What does the speaker suggest about societal structures and the concept of 'self'?

    -The speaker suggests that societal structures, such as beauty standards and job acceptance, influence our concept of 'self'. However, since there is no inherent 'self', we have the freedom to change and become who we feel is most authentic and makes us happiest.

  • How does the speaker recommend changing self-perception?

    -The speaker recommends changing self-perception by changing the way one talks to oneself. This involves reaffirming positive beliefs and challenging negative beliefs that were formed during childhood due to external influences.

  • What is the importance of understanding one's triggers according to the script?

    -Understanding one's triggers is important because it helps individuals realize that they are not 'crazy' or bad, but are acting out of past wounds. This understanding can lead to healing and a more authentic life.

  • What does the speaker suggest regarding the concept of 'non-negotiables' in life?

    -The speaker suggests that having clear 'non-negotiables' helps individuals to feel more confident and respected by others. These are boundaries that one will not compromise on, such as loyalty in a relationship or respectful treatment in the workplace.

  • How does the speaker describe the process of taking responsibility for one's life?

    -The speaker describes taking responsibility for one's life as a powerful act that allows individuals to have control over their life and not succumb to past abuses or negative influences. It involves refusing to be a victim and working on becoming the best version of oneself.

  • What is the significance of surrounding oneself with the right people according to the script?

    -Surrounding oneself with the right people is significant because it can influence one's energy, mood, and perspective on life. The speaker emphasizes the importance of choosing friends who align with one's values and contribute positively to one's life.

  • What advice does the speaker give about living in the present moment?

    -The speaker advises living in the present moment to appreciate life more and reduce anxiety and stress. By focusing on what can be done now and acknowledging the present, one can create a better future.

  • How does the speaker view the importance of believing in oneself?

    -The speaker views believing in oneself as a crucial step in connecting with oneself and unlocking one's potential. It involves affirming one's worth and desires, and not allowing others' opinions to define one's self-worth or capabilities.

  • What is the speaker's perspective on the impact of external opinions on one's life?

    -The speaker's perspective is that external opinions should not dictate one's life. Accepting that one cannot control others' thoughts allows for a more authentic and worry-free existence.

Outlines

00:00

πŸ”‘ Discovering Self-Authenticity and Confidence

The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and understanding one's likes, dislikes, and boundaries as the key to unlocking ultimate confidence. They introduce BetterHelp, an online therapy platform with over 30,000 therapists, as a resource for gaining unbiased advice on personal issues. BetterHelp offers the flexibility to switch therapists at no additional cost, which is a unique feature compared to traditional therapy. The platform allows users to fill out a questionnaire to assess their needs and get matched with a therapist for various types of sessions, all from the comfort of home. The speaker, Liz, also discusses the concept of self and how societal structures and perceptions can influence our self-image, advocating for the change of internal dialogue to align with one's authentic self.

05:02

🌟 Embracing Change and Setting Personal Boundaries

Liz delves into the idea that there is no fixed 'self,' and our identities are shaped by external influences. She encourages viewers to change their self-talk to foster a positive self-image and to establish non-negotiables in various aspects of life, such as relationships and work, to build confidence. Liz shares her personal experience with therapy, highlighting its role in understanding triggers and promoting personal growth. She stresses the importance of acknowledging feelings and emotions without judgment and recognizing patterns in life that may indicate areas for healing and change.

10:05

πŸ’ͺ Taking Responsibility for Personal Growth

The speaker discusses the significance of taking responsibility for one's life and not becoming a victim of past circumstances. She shares her journey of overcoming an abusive past and emphasizes the power of not blaming others for one's situation. Liz encourages breaking the cycle of repeating negative patterns and taking control of one's destiny. She also touches on the concept of not becoming addicted to suffering and the importance of surrounding oneself with positive influences that contribute to personal well-being.

15:06

πŸ€— Choosing Positive Relationships and Influences

Liz talks about the impact of the people we surround ourselves with and the importance of selecting friends who have a positive and reciprocal energy exchange. She reflects on her past experiences with a partner who was emotionally draining and contrasts it with the uplifting energy she receives from friends and family. The speaker advises viewers to be mindful of the company they keep, as it can shape their lifestyle and energy, and to seek out relationships that align with their personal values and aspirations.

20:08

πŸ“š Learning from Life's Messages and Signs

The speaker encourages viewers to be attentive to the messages and signs in life, whether they come from books, people, or experiences. Liz shares an encounter with a person who helped her understand her avoidant attachment style and how this knowledge can lead to personal growth and change. She suggests self-reflection through writing down one's thoughts and feelings about various aspects of life to gain clarity on one's identity. Liz also emphasizes the importance of living in the present moment and not being preoccupied with the future, as this can lead to a more fulfilling and appreciative life.

25:11

πŸš€ Believing in Oneself and Living Authentically

In the final paragraph, Liz stresses the importance of self-belief and not being swayed by others' opinions or criticisms. She advocates for living authentically and embracing one's individuality without fear of judgment. The speaker shares her philosophy on freedom and the determination to not let anyone take it away. Liz concludes by inspiring viewers to believe in their worth and potential, to make decisions for themselves, and to live life on their own terms.

Mindmap

Keywords

πŸ’‘Authentic Self

The 'Authentic Self' refers to the true essence of an individual, free from societal expectations and external influences. In the video, the concept is central to the theme of self-discovery and personal growth. The speaker emphasizes the importance of knowing one's likes, dislikes, and boundaries to live authentically, as illustrated by the encouragement to study oneself and act on one's own terms.

πŸ’‘BetterHelp

BetterHelp is an online therapy platform mentioned in the script as a sponsor. It is described as a resource with over 30,000 therapists providing unbiased advice for various issues. The platform is highlighted as a convenient and comfortable way to access therapy from home, which aligns with the video's message of self-improvement and seeking help when needed.

πŸ’‘Therapist

A 'Therapist' in this context is a professional who offers psychological treatment and guidance. The script discusses the option to switch therapists on BetterHelp until a good match is found, emphasizing the importance of finding the right support for personal growth and mental health, which is a key aspect of the self-exploration journey discussed in the video.

πŸ’‘Non-negotiables

In the video, 'Non-negotiables' are defined as personal boundaries or standards that one is unwilling to compromise on. The speaker uses the term to discuss the importance of setting clear limits in relationships and life, such as loyalty in a partnership, as a means to build self-confidence and self-respect.

πŸ’‘Self-worth

'Self-worth' is the value and respect one places on oneself, which is a recurring theme in the video. The script talks about the significance of having high self-worth and not tolerating behaviors that undermine it, such as cheating in a relationship. It is used to illustrate the empowerment that comes from setting boundaries and living by one's own values.

πŸ’‘Dopamine Receptors

The term 'Dopamine Receptors' is used in the script to describe the biological aspect of how the brain responds to pleasure and rewards. The video mentions that these receptors can become worn out, leading to a decreased ability to feel excitement, which can be tied to the pursuit of unhealthy behaviors to stimulate them, thus relating to the broader message of the video about finding healthy ways to achieve fulfillment.

πŸ’‘Accountability

'Accountability' in the video refers to the responsibility one takes for one's actions and their consequences. The script uses the example of therapy to highlight how therapists help individuals take accountability for their behaviors, which is crucial for personal growth and changing negative patterns.

πŸ’‘Healing

The concept of 'Healing' is integral to the video's message, referring to the process of recovery and self-improvement. The script discusses various aspects of healing, such as acknowledging feelings, understanding triggers, and breaking patterns, as part of the journey towards becoming one's authentic self.

πŸ’‘Self-respect

'Self-respect' is the recognition and value of one's own worth, which is a key point in the video. The speaker talks about the importance of having self-respect in order to make decisions that align with one's values, such as leaving a relationship where trust has been broken, thereby illustrating the importance of self-respect in building a healthy self-identity.

πŸ’‘Attachment Style

The term 'Attachment Style' is used in the script to describe the way individuals form emotional bonds with others. The video discusses different attachment styles, such as avoidant and anxious, and how they can affect relationships. Understanding one's attachment style is presented as part of the process of self-awareness and personal development.

πŸ’‘Living in the Now

'Living in the Now' is a concept discussed in the video that emphasizes the importance of focusing on the present moment rather than constantly worrying about the future or dwelling on the past. The script uses this concept to encourage viewers to appreciate their current experiences and to reduce anxiety and stress, which aligns with the overall theme of self-improvement and mental well-being.

πŸ’‘Self-belief

'Self-belief' is the confidence one has in their own abilities and worth. The video encourages viewers to develop self-belief as a means to unlock their potential and live a fulfilling life. It is presented as a powerful tool for overcoming external doubts and achieving personal goals.

Highlights

Unlocking ultimate confidence involves self-discovery and understanding personal likes, dislikes, and acceptances.

BetterHelp is an online therapy platform with over 30,000 therapists offering unbiased advice on various issues.

The ability to switch therapists on BetterHelp without additional charges is a unique feature not commonly found in traditional therapy settings.

The concept of 'no self' suggests that our identities are shaped by societal influences and can be changed to become more authentic.

Changing self-talk is crucial for personal development and overcoming negative beliefs instilled in childhood.

Beauty standards are subjective and can be redefined by personal affirmation to foster self-confidence.

Authenticity in life involves acting rather than reacting, which leads to increased confidence and self-respect.

Establishing non-negotiables in relationships and life helps maintain boundaries and self-worth.

The societal normalization of drinking and substance use can lead to addiction and depleted dopamine receptors.

Understanding personal triggers can lead to healing by recognizing past wounds and changing reactions.

Therapy can be instrumental in taking accountability for one's actions and fostering personal change.

Acknowledging feelings and avoiding suppression can prevent physical and emotional illness.

Recognizing and breaking repetitive patterns in life can lead to healing and personal growth.

Taking responsibility for one's life and refusing to be a victim leads to empowerment and success.

Avoiding addiction to suffering and drama is essential for personal well-being and moving forward.

Surrounding oneself with the right people who provide positive energy and support is crucial for personal development.

Living in the present and appreciating the 'now' can reduce anxiety and increase life fulfillment.

Believing in oneself and one's worth is a key component of self-connection and unlocking personal potential.

Opinions of others are irrelevant to one's self-worth and should not dictate personal actions or beliefs.

Transcripts

play00:00

listen if you want to unlock Ultimate

play00:02

confidence if you want to feel like your

play00:05

authentic self and vibrate on the

play00:07

highest level you need to get to know

play00:10

who you are you need to get to know what

play00:13

you like what you don't like what you

play00:15

accept what you will not accept this is

play00:18

the whole key the biggest thing in life

play00:20

that you should study is you is your

play00:23

behaviors it's how you act once you know

play00:27

who you are no one can tell you anything

play00:30

want to say a huge thank you for

play00:32

betterhelp for sponsoring this video

play00:34

betterhelp is an online therapy platform

play00:37

with over 30,000 therapists the

play00:39

therapists are there to give you

play00:41

unbiased and helpful advice with any

play00:43

issue that you might be facing there are

play00:45

so many therapists at your disposal that

play00:48

you can choose from and if you don't

play00:51

like the therapist that you are matched

play00:53

up with better help gives you the option

play00:55

to switch therapist with no additional

play00:57

charge which in real life honestly that

play01:00

would not happen so if you don't know

play01:02

where to begin to find a therapist or

play01:05

where to even look at and you don't want

play01:07

to leave your house better help is the

play01:09

best platform for that because it's all

play01:12

out of the comfort of your own home you

play01:14

can just browse and look at different

play01:17

options to get start you fill out a

play01:18

questionnaire to help assess your

play01:20

specific needs and then you'll get

play01:21

matched with a therapist in as little as

play01:23

a few days you can schedule video phone

play01:25

or message based sessions whatever you

play01:27

are most comfortable with so let better

play01:29

help connect you with a therapist all

play01:31

out of the comfort of your own home you

play01:34

can do this by visiting the link in

play01:36

description or betterhelp.com

play01:40

wizardz what you can also do is click on

play01:43

Wizard Liz during sign up and you will

play01:46

enjoy a special discount with your first

play01:49

month hi guys my name is Liz and welcome

play01:51

back to my channel okay let's get into

play01:54

it first things first need you to

play01:56

realize is that there is no self so what

play01:59

you are right now is just made of

play02:02

beliefs by your parents by the people

play02:04

around you by your friends Society

play02:05

whatever right I think a lot of times if

play02:08

for example beauty standards if they

play02:10

weren't there a lot of people wouldn't

play02:12

look how they look right now because

play02:14

there there's nothing to look up to or

play02:16

to follow a lot of people wouldn't do

play02:18

certain jobs because it's it's not like

play02:20

oh that's accepted in society and that

play02:22

other job is shamed in society like made

play02:25

up in a societal structure that we

play02:27

follow unconsciously and consciously

play02:30

what I love about that is that when

play02:32

there is no self we can also change it

play02:35

and we can become who we feel is most

play02:38

authentic and makes us the most happy

play02:40

and how we do that is by first of all

play02:43

changing the way you talk to yourself

play02:45

see your whole life your parents have

play02:47

told you things about yourself your

play02:49

friends have told you things about

play02:50

yourself and in childhood you adapted

play02:52

those traits as who you are so for

play02:54

example when I was very young I was told

play02:56

that I wasn't smart okay by one of my

play02:58

Abus parents like you're not smart

play03:00

whatever shut up blah blah a woman

play03:01

should never talk and then I started to

play03:04

now even in adulthood I doubt my

play03:06

intelligence because of what I was told

play03:08

in childhood but now I reaffirm to

play03:12

myself no you are smart you know so much

play03:14

you have so much knowledge and I

play03:16

reaffirmed that to myself to change

play03:17

those beliefs because I want to control

play03:21

what I believe and I want to shape who I

play03:23

am to myself the same way when you were

play03:25

younger and someone told you you're not

play03:27

beautiful you're not good-looking later

play03:28

in life you will always remember that

play03:30

unconsciously and you be like insecure

play03:32

about your looks or think like oh this

play03:33

is not good enough and all these things

play03:35

you can tell yourself right now that you

play03:37

are you can look at yourself right now

play03:39

and be like you are the most gorgeous

play03:42

hottest thing on earth like wow when I

play03:45

look at you I am mesmerized you can tell

play03:47

yourself these things and even when you

play03:49

say like oh no I don't believe it I

play03:51

don't want to say it why don't you

play03:52

believe it beauty is a madeup societal

play03:55

structure right for a lot of people

play03:59

people that are even considered

play04:00

beautiful let's say to you are not

play04:01

beautiful to other people you know you

play04:03

know how many times I heard that I'm not

play04:04

good-looking and all these things and I

play04:06

see why they think that because it's

play04:08

their perception and I'm probably not

play04:10

their type and I don't care to be their

play04:12

type but does that mean that I when I

play04:14

look in the mirror I have to say that to

play04:15

myself or I have to say their

play04:18

affirmation of their perception of me to

play04:21

myself no I can create my own perception

play04:25

my own world my own character of who I

play04:27

am another thing you should ask yourself

play04:29

is are you acting or are you reacting to

play04:31

life so I actually had this conversation

play04:33

with my therapist and she was like Liz

play04:36

you are very sensitive so whenever

play04:38

someone comes up to you and asks you

play04:40

like let's say let's go for a coffee

play04:41

let's go on a date whatever she's like

play04:43

because you're so sensitive you might

play04:45

think in your head like H you know what

play04:46

yeah let's go let's see what where it

play04:48

takes me and maybe this is the person

play04:50

but she's like you should start acting

play04:52

and you should like connect to your

play04:54

heart and think to yourself is this what

play04:57

I want H that moment you should really

play04:59

ask yourself am I saying yes to this

play05:02

thing or to this invitation because I

play05:04

really want to go or am I scared to

play05:06

disappoint people do I feel bad for them

play05:09

and that's why I'm saying yes when you

play05:11

know that when you're saying yes it's

play05:13

authentic to what you want to do you'll

play05:14

become more confident when you know that

play05:16

when you're saying no it's authentic to

play05:18

what you want to do you'll become

play05:20

confident because you are living in

play05:23

accordance to your own voice another

play05:25

thing is think about what are your

play05:27

non-negotiables so let's say for example

play05:30

for me in a relationship if my partner

play05:33

is not loyal that's it my partner knows

play05:36

and I know I will not stay there and I

play05:38

will not take this relationship

play05:39

seriously anymore that's my

play05:41

non-negotiable I do not budge on that I

play05:44

stand on it I do not care why let's say

play05:47

there is a couple right and they both

play05:48

decide okay we're going to be loyal

play05:50

we're going to be in a trusting

play05:51

relationship when one of that person

play05:54

breaks that trust it's traumatizing for

play05:56

that other person because now they're

play05:58

going to take that on to their next

play05:59

relationship and start to distrust other

play06:02

people because it's like a sudden shock

play06:04

and I don't think people realize how

play06:06

cheating is a big trauma for a person

play06:08

for example in work you can think about

play06:10

okay if the boss is making rude comments

play06:13

whatever is that you're non-negotiable

play06:15

are you thinking no I will not accept

play06:17

that we cannot compromise on this I will

play06:19

leave the more you have your

play06:22

non-negotiables clear for you and you

play06:24

know that this I will accept this I

play06:26

won't accept and you stand on those

play06:28

boundaries that is the more you will

play06:30

feel confident about yourself and the

play06:32

people around you will also start to

play06:34

respect you more a person that says if

play06:38

you cheat on me and and I discover that

play06:42

and they leave that is a

play06:45

person that is forever will be respected

play06:48

okay even by the other person because no

play06:50

matter what they do they can cry they

play06:53

can they can they can beg they can do

play06:55

anything for them but this person has so

play06:57

much selfworth has so much much boundary

play07:00

know there's one thing about women that

play07:03

I've

play07:03

noticed doesn't matter how long she

play07:06

stayed with you doesn't matter how many

play07:07

years she put up with things once a

play07:09

woman in her head makes that switch of

play07:13

this is not what I want anymore she can

play07:15

even have stayed there for 25 years in

play07:17

this relationship okay once she knows in

play07:19

her head this is not what I want anymore

play07:21

I will not accept any further than this

play07:24

you can go take a hike this woman will

play07:29

not come back to you once a woman knows

play07:32

in her head you're not that person

play07:34

anymore she will not even be able to

play07:35

look at you the same it will never ever

play07:38

come back I respect that so much I

play07:41

respect it like no no matter how many

play07:43

years it took no matter whatever it took

play07:46

for you to leave once a woman leaves she

play07:49

will boss up you will never recognize

play07:54

her anymore all the pain you put her

play07:56

through doesn't matter this woman will

play07:58

always come out on top we live in a

play08:01

society where our dopamine receptors in

play08:04

the brain are very worn out and that's

play08:06

dangerous when that happens because when

play08:09

your dopamine receptors are worn out

play08:11

nothing becomes exciting anymore so

play08:13

people go to the extreme to feel a

play08:15

certain sense of excitement you can see

play08:18

this for example with people that from a

play08:20

very young age started drinking because

play08:22

alcoholism is so normal in this world

play08:25

and it's almost pushed upon everyone you

play08:27

know and I feel like because they

play08:29

normalize this later on because they've

play08:32

been drinking for so long they start to

play08:34

use like heavier substances and then

play08:37

later on these substances also don't do

play08:39

anything anymore so now you have a lot

play08:42

of people that are addicted since they

play08:44

were teenager and somehow we're all

play08:47

normalizing this their dopamine

play08:49

receptors are completely worn out and

play08:51

they're depressed and don't feel any

play08:53

excitement anymore for anything in the

play08:55

world also look at what is triggering

play08:57

you and where is that coming from when I

play09:01

was younger in school I used to hate

play09:04

when teachers would tell me what to do

play09:06

and I would never even take it seriously

play09:09

why because at home I was constantly

play09:11

controlled I wasn't allowed to have a

play09:13

voice so the only thing I've ever wanted

play09:16

was freedom to speak my mind and to say

play09:18

what I want and just to be free okay so

play09:21

when at school I was also controlled

play09:24

that would trigger me but but that was

play09:26

triggering the wound that I had back

play09:28

home

play09:29

and I needed to realize these things so

play09:32

I could stop acting in a way and hurting

play09:35

other people that had nothing to do with

play09:37

it I had to go back to the base of where

play09:39

is this coming from so I could work on

play09:42

that and that I could live in a way

play09:44

where I can respect others and honestly

play09:46

therapy has helped me a lot with that

play09:48

because when I was when I talked to my

play09:51

therapists it was always about okay Liz

play09:54

where are you going wrong what are you

play09:57

doing that these situations keep

play09:59

happening again so that we can fix it

play10:01

and actually change your life instead of

play10:05

because people often think that

play10:06

therapists sit there and will just

play10:07

listen to you and act like you're good

play10:09

and that's it no they will make you take

play10:12

accountability and change your life I

play10:14

think what is also so important about

play10:16

understanding your triggers is that it

play10:19

makes you understand that you're not

play10:22

crazy it makes you understand that

play10:24

you're not a bad person but you're just

play10:26

acting out of past wounds and I think

play10:29

that's beautiful I think that's putting

play10:31

sanity inside of your mind and being

play10:33

like you know what I'm not an aggressive

play10:35

person I'm just hurt and I've been hurt

play10:38

so many times that the only way my body

play10:42

is reacting right now is out of

play10:43

aggression because the moments that I

play10:45

was hurt I couldn't speak up for myself

play10:47

or I didn't say it so this is all P pent

play10:50

up anger and resentment that's coming

play10:53

out as an aggressive person but that

play10:55

doesn't have to be me that doesn't have

play10:57

to Define me and you can change that

play11:00

when you understand where it's coming

play11:01

from it's good to acknowledge your

play11:03

feelings I think the way people can heal

play11:06

is when they are in touch with their

play11:08

feelings and emotions and when they

play11:09

don't demonize it the reason why you're

play11:12

sad is because you're hurt it's not

play11:14

because you're weak it's not because oh

play11:16

you're not strong enough to handle it no

play11:19

something hurt you and it's okay to cry

play11:22

it out because that's how you release

play11:24

whatever has hurt you but if you hold it

play11:26

in people get physically ill from this

play11:29

people even die from illnesses by

play11:32

holding on to this pent up anger

play11:34

resentment and stress release it if it's

play11:38

crying for months release it that's the

play11:41

way you release okay whatever you have

play11:43

to do in whatever way release it if it's

play11:47

talking about it constantly over and

play11:49

over again until you're done talking

play11:51

about then do that do that I've told the

play11:53

same stories maybe 100 times but now I'm

play11:56

done telling those stories because it's

play11:57

out of my system thing is look at the

play12:00

patterns in your life that are repeating

play12:02

itself over and over again because that

play12:04

is teaching you where your healing lies

play12:07

okay I've had multiple patterns repeat

play12:10

I've had my uh father in my life that

play12:13

was abusive and then I attracted my ex

play12:15

partner that was exactly a replica of my

play12:18

father in the beginning it was great and

play12:19

then it turned out to be he's just like

play12:21

my dad okay now why was this pattern

play12:24

coming up because I still had not come

play12:27

to terms with what happened with my

play12:29

father so it came back to me in a

play12:32

relationship form so I can see it in

play12:35

front of myself and I almost felt like I

play12:38

was recreating my mother's and father's

play12:40

relationship with my ex partner and when

play12:43

I understood that and I was like wow but

play12:46

this is not what I want cuz if I have a

play12:48

child she will just be a little Liz

play12:51

again with the same traumas I don't want

play12:53

that for my child so that's when I said

play12:56

you know what no I don't want to

play12:58

continue this I want to stop the cycle

play13:00

of the same patterns happening again

play13:03

even in friendships even in

play13:04

relationships look at these people and

play13:06

ask yourself are they repeating

play13:09

themselves over and over again am I

play13:12

experiencing the same thing over and

play13:13

over again then start thinking okay what

play13:15

is my lesson

play13:17

here why am I attracting the constant

play13:20

same person over and over again and you

play13:23

should instead of blaming take

play13:25

responsibility for your life okay I in

play13:28

my my life it's very easy to say you

play13:31

know what my life is [Β __Β ] because I had

play13:33

an abusive father no I took

play13:36

responsibility for my life I could have

play13:38

blamed him all day but it doesn't matter

play13:40

now does it cuz it's in the past what I

play13:43

did with my life afterwards was all up

play13:45

to me and because I took the

play13:46

responsibility and I was like Liz you

play13:48

know what you're going to work on

play13:49

yourself you're going to become the best

play13:51

version of yourself you're going to

play13:53

become one of the strongest adults

play13:55

you've ever seen that's going to protect

play13:57

your inner child when I did that that's

play13:59

when I became

play14:00

successful that's when I had everything

play14:03

because I refused I refused to just

play14:07

succumb to the abuse to just be like

play14:11

it's your fault and I'm going to be the

play14:12

victim here I was never the victim I was

play14:15

never the victim I was always going to

play14:17

be the person that was going to come out

play14:19

on top no matter what in any situation

play14:21

in any situation you put me in I will

play14:24

come out on top no matter what

play14:26

responsibility gives you the power over

play14:28

your life life and blame takes it away

play14:31

blame gives that abuser or that person

play14:33

that was bad to you or whatever they did

play14:35

to that gives them power but you have

play14:38

that power when you take responsibility

play14:40

and I like you know what whatever you

play14:41

did to me how many times you lied to me

play14:44

how many times you cheated I am still

play14:46

going to come out on top when you do

play14:48

that you

play14:49

win you win and don't become addicted to

play14:54

your suffering a lot of you guys are so

play14:56

addicted to feeling that sensation ation

play14:59

of that stress again a lot of people

play15:01

around me even that also come from

play15:03

abusive childhood they act constant new

play15:05

drama they create for themselves

play15:07

constantly because that's the only thing

play15:09

they knew and that's what they're kind

play15:11

of addicted to that feeling of that Rush

play15:13

again that drama again but don't don't

play15:16

become addicted to it have some you know

play15:19

what start to realize I'm not that

play15:22

person anymore I'm not that abused child

play15:26

I'm not that that that that person that

play15:28

was cheated on I'm not that person

play15:30

anymore I'm a different person now I

play15:31

don't need to create those situations

play15:33

again for myself I don't need to fight

play15:35

like I used to my life is calm now my

play15:38

life is peaceful and start to make that

play15:40

your reality say like you know what now

play15:42

I have a good life I'm I have a great

play15:45

life actually you know start to say that

play15:47

to yourself and start to acknowledge

play15:49

that that's the past what has happened

play15:52

has happened that doesn't Define me

play15:54

today that's not who I am today and you

play15:57

guys are not going to treat me like

play15:58

that's who who I am today also start to

play16:00

realize that who feeds you and who takes

play16:03

from you okay so when I was a lot around

play16:06

my previous partner I started to think

play16:10

I'm depressed I'm depressed I'm sad like

play16:13

I'm always sad I'm isolated this is who

play16:15

I am that's what I constantly thought

play16:17

but why did I think that because I

play16:19

didn't have any friends or family around

play16:21

me so I was alone with this person

play16:22

constantly so they could just make my

play16:25

mind in whoever they wanted to be and I

play16:27

started to believe that this is just who

play16:28

I I am but the minute I came and I

play16:32

visited my family I reconnected with old

play16:34

friends I realized I feel alive around

play16:38

these people I feel like I want to live

play16:41

and that's something that I haven't felt

play16:43

in a very very long time because my

play16:47

previous partner was just taking from me

play16:49

taking taking taking and leaving me

play16:51

empty but when I'm here now I'm starting

play16:54

to realize it's an equal give and

play16:56

exchange I don't feel sleepy around

play16:58

these people I don't feel drained I

play17:00

don't feel like I want to take my life I

play17:02

feel like I want to live so when I

play17:05

understood the difference and after that

play17:08

I even think about like oh my previous

play17:10

partner I'm like no I don't want to ever

play17:11

do that again because I never want to

play17:14

feel how I felt how bad I felt I want to

play17:18

continue being around people who I can

play17:21

give to and that give me the same way

play17:23

back in an energetical sense always feel

play17:26

it you will feel it when you feel

play17:29

fulfilled when you come home from

play17:31

someone let's say a friend and you feel

play17:32

like oh my God I need to sleep for 10

play17:34

days now that person has drained you

play17:36

that's not your person you should feel

play17:38

like oh my God I have so much energy you

play17:40

know I I reconnected with this old

play17:42

friend of mine and whenever I'm around

play17:44

her I don't even need sleep we can go on

play17:46

for days and days and days and we just

play17:48

have fun so Choose Wisely who you

play17:50

surround yourself with because that will

play17:52

also shape who you

play17:54

become I recently have been meeting a

play17:57

lot of people and I came from isolation

play18:01

to meeting a lot of people and I'm

play18:03

starting to realize okay I want to hang

play18:05

out with you but I wouldn't hang out

play18:07

with you not because they're a bad

play18:08

person but because their lifestyle

play18:10

doesn't align with what I would want in

play18:11

my life for example I've noticed that a

play18:14

lot of people have alcohol addiction a

play18:16

lot of people have substance addiction

play18:19

especially now in this world and in the

play18:22

age that we live in and I was looking at

play18:25

that and they they party constantly and

play18:28

all these things and I was thinking like

play18:29

M you know if I become friends with you

play18:32

like really close friends and we go out

play18:34

and stuff I don't want that to become my

play18:36

life because I can see how it would

play18:38

distract me from my work and my purpose

play18:40

in this world and I feel like I would

play18:42

just get lost you know so I then choose

play18:46

my friends like for example that old

play18:48

friend I that I reconnected with she has

play18:50

the same morals as me that's the same

play18:53

kind of vibration I'm on if you choose

play18:55

people that constantly like that aren't

play18:57

really connected to them elves and want

play18:59

to escape from reality because that's

play19:01

what I truly think that alcohol subtance

play19:04

all these things are you just don't want

play19:06

to face reality you don't want to face

play19:07

yourself so if you surround yourself

play19:09

with people that constantly party do

play19:11

that and I want to escape reality you'll

play19:14

become the other person as well and

play19:16

eventually you'll feel like you're

play19:17

losing

play19:18

yourself nothing in excess is good too

play19:22

much of anything is bad for you think in

play19:24

the long run if you hang out with people

play19:26

you just become them you can even see

play19:28

that physically

play19:29

best friends and stuff they start to

play19:30

look alike their Aura your aura gets

play19:32

mixed and your energy get mixed if you

play19:35

look at this person you think hm I would

play19:37

not want to be like them I would not

play19:39

want to live the way they live then

play19:41

that's not your person and then you

play19:43

choose people that do align to your

play19:46

lifestyle and who you want to be also

play19:48

start looking at what are people what

play19:51

are books what are TV shows songs

play19:54

teaching

play19:55

you everywhere we look we have m

play19:58

messages we have signs and it's almost

play20:02

like God and the universe is constantly

play20:05

talking to us but it's for us to really

play20:07

open our eyes and look at the signs okay

play20:10

so for example if you read a book right

play20:13

now and if I read a book I will see that

play20:16

book in my perspective and I will take

play20:19

from that book what was important for me

play20:21

and in my world you had a whole

play20:24

different lesson from that book what was

play20:25

important for you and your life and your

play20:28

perspect perspective right that's how we

play20:30

get those signs also like people that

play20:32

come up to you like I recently met this

play20:35

guy in the weirdest way possible such a

play20:38

Divine thing okay he taught me a lot

play20:41

about myself he was he taught me about

play20:43

my attachment style in relationships and

play20:46

he was like Liz you have avoidant

play20:48

attachment style and I was like whoa

play20:51

what is that and explain to me and it's

play20:53

basically that when a person feels more

play20:55

safe

play20:56

alone they will like be in relationships

play21:00

but they will never want to fully commit

play21:02

and that's what I have so I will if

play21:04

someone brings up marriage to me I get

play21:06

scared okay I'm like no no I don't want

play21:07

to do that but it's because in my head I

play21:10

feel most safe when I'm alone because I

play21:13

didn't have people around me when I was

play21:16

younger that I could trust so when I

play21:18

felt safe was when Liz was alone in her

play21:20

room that's when I felt safe so I

play21:23

constantly go back to that I never even

play21:25

thought about my attachment style

play21:26

because what I constantly ract are

play21:29

anxious attachment people so these are

play21:32

people that are have abandonment issues

play21:34

they afraid of getting rejected they're

play21:36

afraid of getting abandoned and because

play21:37

of that trauma they get obsessed with me

play21:41

because I kind of reject them I kind of

play21:43

always hold this distance you know but

play21:46

both of us are acting out of a trauma

play21:48

response that was so interesting when

play21:50

that person told all of this to me

play21:52

because I was starting to realize when I

play21:55

was meeting more people like I don't

play21:57

like how they become so almost obsessed

play22:01

or controlling over me immediately and

play22:03

then I started to realize but I'm

play22:05

attracting anxious people that all have

play22:08

rejection wounds that have abandonment

play22:09

wounds and because of the way I act with

play22:12

with which is in a rejecting way they

play22:15

become obsessed not because I'm a great

play22:17

person but because I'm their trauma and

play22:20

when I realize this I'm like oh my God

play22:22

I'm I'm going to have to start to work

play22:23

on my own issues so I won't attract

play22:26

these people anymore because it's scary

play22:28

but look how this person came into my

play22:30

life to teach me that and for me to

play22:33

change that you can also do is take a

play22:35

paper and write down okay who am I what

play22:39

do I love what don't I love what do I do

play22:42

for fun what are my hobbies what were my

play22:44

hobbies when I was younger how do I want

play22:47

people to treat me how do I think that I

play22:50

treat people these are all questions you

play22:53

can write down and ask yourself and

play22:55

you'll have all the answers you'll have

play22:56

like this little example of who you are

play22:59

as a person another thing is living in

play23:01

the now and this is something my sister

play23:03

has told me so many times lately because

play23:06

I was like oh Sabina but I I want to

play23:08

achieve this oh Saina in a month I'm

play23:10

going to do this and she constantly

play23:12

reminds me Liz live in the now just

play23:15

think about now live your life right now

play23:17

look at around you live now and

play23:20

constantly because I'm reminded of that

play23:22

I feel like I appreciate life more and

play23:26

I'm not running from it I feel like my

play23:28

my whole life I've just been running and

play23:31

going to the next thing and that's why

play23:33

I've never felt fulfilled by anything

play23:36

because I'm not acknowledging it you

play23:38

know I'm not acknowledging it yeah okay

play23:40

I went viral I went viral on YouTube

play23:42

amazing people would have thrown a party

play23:43

because of it I was just like no what's

play23:45

next what's next what's next that's why

play23:47

I never realized what was happening

play23:49

because I was never living in the now I

play23:50

was always living in the future that's

play23:53

how anxiety comes up that's how you have

play23:55

more stress because you're constantly

play23:57

thinking about the future but if if you

play23:58

think right now what can I do now what

play24:00

what I have what tools can I use and

play24:02

what can I create now that's when you

play24:04

create the future cuz the future doesn't

play24:06

exist right past also doesn't exist what

play24:08

we have is now when you don't appreciate

play24:11

now nothing else will flourish good to

play24:14

have goals but don't live for it don't

play24:16

live for the future don't become a slave

play24:19

of the future what people think about

play24:21

you is none of your business people can

play24:24

think whatever they want okay when you

play24:28

put something out there when you create

play24:31

something you will always attract people

play24:33

on your vibration or that are meant to

play24:35

see whatever you put out whether it's

play24:38

positive or whether it's negative they

play24:40

were meant to see what you put out there

play24:43

you just have to create that's it all of

play24:46

the rest doesn't matter because it's not

play24:48

your business you will never control

play24:50

their mind you will never control how

play24:52

they think and that's just why would you

play24:53

want to be in someone El's head be in

play24:55

your own head think about your own stuff

play24:58

why are you there be here be present

play25:01

again once you start to realize that

play25:02

what others think about you is none of

play25:04

your business and whether you are the

play25:05

best person on Earth they will not like

play25:07

you still you can be the most PG nice

play25:11

person ever and people will still have

play25:12

something bad to say about you when you

play25:14

accept that when you accept that you

play25:16

know what criticism I love it it's a

play25:18

part of life you have the good you have

play25:20

the bad and it's beautiful both ways

play25:23

when you accept that you live like

play25:24

yourself authentically you're you don't

play25:26

have any fear because you don't have

play25:27

anything to to worry about I don't have

play25:29

to why would I worry about millions of

play25:32

people's brains why I don't have time

play25:34

for that so I just put myself stff out

play25:36

there and what what you think of it it's

play25:38

up to you but somewhere you saw that

play25:42

video of me because you needed that

play25:44

whether it hurt you or whether it helped

play25:46

you you needed that last but not least I

play25:48

think believing in yourself is one of

play25:50

the highest

play25:52

ways of connecting with yourself you

play25:56

know when everyone tells you like oh no

play25:58

you don't deserve to have that you don't

play25:59

deserve to have this and you tell

play26:01

yourself but I do I want whatever I want

play26:04

in life if I want to have the best life

play26:07

and if I want to say let's live like a

play26:09

queen and I want to be treated like a

play26:11

queen I can have that and who is anyone

play26:15

to say that I don't deserve that lots of

play26:18

people have it it exists in this world

play26:20

whatever exists I can have as well start

play26:23

to say that to yourself when you're like

play26:25

you know I want to be the most confident

play26:27

beautiful amazing smart person that I am

play26:32

that's it that's how fast life will

play26:34

change for you because you decided that

play26:35

for yourself that's who you want to be

play26:37

and that's who you already are so you

play26:39

start unlocking that version of you if

play26:41

you listen to no you shouldn't be living

play26:43

like that no you shouldn't have this no

play26:44

you shouldn't when you listen to that it

play26:46

will Cloud your mind it will start to be

play26:49

like oh my God no they told me I was not

play26:52

deserving of a good life so now I won't

play26:54

have a good life but what are you a

play26:56

slave what are you a SL slave to these

play26:58

people no really start thinking to

play27:01

yourself am I a slave or am I a free

play27:03

spirit am I a free soul that came to

play27:06

this earth to live my best life possible

play27:08

and to help and create in this earth the

play27:11

best way possible really one thing in

play27:14

life that I've always valued because I

play27:16

didn't have it was freedom and I'll be

play27:19

damned if someone ever takes that away

play27:23

from me again anyways guys I hope you

play27:26

enjoyed this video I hope you learned

play27:27

something from the this video and yeah I

play27:29

see you in the next video bye-bye love

play27:31

you

Rate This
β˜…
β˜…
β˜…
β˜…
β˜…

5.0 / 5 (0 votes)

Related Tags
Self-ImprovementAuthentic SelfEmotional HealingTherapy PlatformBehavioral ChangeConfidence BuildingSocietal StandardsPersonal BeliefsAttachment StylesLife Patterns