How To Get Physical With A Woman You Just Met

Summary

Dieses Video-Skript behandelt das häufige Problem junger Männer, die Schwierigkeiten haben, physische Intimität mit Frauen zu eskalieren. Der Sprecher teilt persönliche Erfahrungen und gibt Ratschläge, wie man durch soziale Intelligenz und das Sammeln von Erfahrungen die Fähigkeit entwickelt, die Rezeption von Körperkontakt besser einschätzen zu können. Er betont die Wichtigkeit von physischem Kontakt für die Verbesserung von Beziehungen und fordert Zuschauer auf, eine offene, beobachtende Einstellung einzunehmen und aus Misserfolgen zu lernen, um die eigene Fähigkeit zu verbessern, Beziehungen aufzubauen.

Takeaways

• 😌 Die Fähigkeit, physisch zu werden, ist für viele junge Männer eine häufige Herausforderung, die sie meistern müssen, um Beziehungen zu entwickeln.
• 🤝 Der erste Eindruck, der eine gewisse Form von körperlicher Berührung beinhaltet, kann die Wahrscheinlichkeit erhöhen, dass jemand anderen mögen.
• 🧠 Soziale Intelligenz ist entscheidend, um zu verstehen, ob eine Person aufrichtig auf körperliche Nähe reagieren wird oder nicht.
• 🤔 Die Fähigkeit, physisch zu werden, kann durch das Sammeln von Erfahrungen und das Lernen aus ihnen verbessert werden.
• 🚀 Selbstbewusstsein und die Überzeugung, dass man körperliche Nähe schaffen kann, ist ein wichtiger Aspekt, um Beziehungen zu fördern.
• 🙅‍♂️ Das explizite bitten um Erlaubnis zu einer Berührung oder Umarmung kann als unattraktiv und unnatürlich wahrgenommen werden.
• 💪 Die physische Attraktivität spielt eine große Rolle in der Anziehungskraft und sollte ernst genommen werden.
• 🤷‍♂️ Es ist wichtig, Ablehnung und Missverständnisse in Beziehungen mit Humor und Respekt zu behandeln.
• 🤗 Ein offener und beobachtender Mindset bei der Interaktion kann dazu beitragen, die richtige Zeit für körperliche Nähe zu erkennen.
• 🌐 Die moderne Gesellschaft hat uns oft davor zurückhaltend gemacht, körperliche Nähe zu zeigen, aber es ist wichtig, dieses Element des Lebens nicht zu vernachlässigen.
• 💡 Das Verständnis und die Anwendung von sozialen Signalen und der Fähigkeit, sie korrekt zu interpretieren, kann dazu beitragen, Beziehungen aufzubauen und zu vertiefen.

Q & A

Was ist das häufigste Problem, das junge Männer bei der Eskalation physischer Nähe zu Frauen haben?

Das häufigste Problem ist, dass sie nicht wissen, wie sie die physische Nähe nach dem Einladen eines Mädchens nach Hause eskalieren sollen, was zu Ungeduld und der Wahrnehmung als 'better male' führen kann.

Welche Rolle spielt physische Berührung in den ersten Eindrücken auf jemanden?

Physische Berührung ist sehr wichtig, da Studien zeigen, dass Menschen, mit denen man sich physisch berührt hat, eher sympathisch finden und eine höhere Wahrscheinlichkeit haben, eine Verbindung zu knüpfen.

Wie kann man erkennen, ob eine Frau aufmächtig für physische Berührung ist?

Man kann es durch das Sammeln von Erfahrungen und das Beobachten von Körpersprache, Mimik und Stimmton erkennen. Wenn eine Frau aufmächtig erscheint und man selbst eine Verbindung knüpfen möchte, kann man vorsichtig mit physischer Berührung beginnen.

Was ist der Rat, den der Sprecher für Männer gibt, die nicht wissen, wie sie physisch werden sollen?

Der Sprecher empfiehlt, ein Verständnis für soziale Intuition zu entwickeln und eine 'Katalog' von Erfahrungen zu sammeln, um zu lernen, wann und wie man physisch werden sollte.

Was sind die Gefahren des Fehlens von physischer Berührung?

Das Fehlen von physischer Berührung kann zu einer Verringerung der Attraktion und des Vertrauens führen und kann als 'entmännlichend' empfunden werden.

Wie kann man physisch werden, ohne zu viel nach Zustimmung zu fragen?

Man sollte eine gesunde Balance finden, indem man auf subtile Signale achtet und nicht zu direkt nach Zustimmung fragt, was als wimpernhaft oder unattraktiv wahrgenommen werden kann.

Was passiert, wenn die physische Eskalation nicht gut akzeptiert wird?

In solchen Fällen sollte man einfach 'Entschuldigung' sagen und die Situation bedenkend beenden, ohne aggressive oder verärgerte Reaktionen zu zeigen.

Wie wichtig ist die persönliche Auffassung und Haltung vor einer physischen Interaktion?

Die persönliche Auffassung und Haltung sind sehr wichtig, da sie die Wahrnehmung der Interaktion durch andere formen und die eigene Selbstwirksamkeit beeinflussen.

Was sind die Konsequenzen, wenn man die Zeichen der Aufmerksamkeit oder Ablehnung falsch interpretiert?

Falsche Interpretationen können zu peinlichen Situationen führen, aber sie sollten mit einer Entschuldigung und Respekt für die Grenzen des anderen verkraftet werden.

Wie kann man sicherstellen, dass die physische Eskalation angemessen und respektvoll ist?

Durch das Entwickeln von sozialer Intelligenz, das Beobachten von Reaktionen der anderen Person und das Anwenden von Erkenntnissen aus früheren Erfahrungen.

Was ist der Einfluss von physischer Attraktivität auf die Attraktivität und das Vertrauen in Beziehungen?

Physische Attraktivität ist ein wichtiger Faktor, da sie eine große Rolle bei der Erstbeeinträchtigung spielt und evolutionär Fertigkeiten und Gesundheit signalisiert.

Outlines

00:00

😅 Unsicherheit beim physischen Näherkommen

Der erste Absatz beschäftigt sich mit der Herausforderung, die viele junge Männer haben, wenn es darum geht, physisch näher zu einer Frau heranzukommen, nachdem sie Interesse gezeigt hat. Der Sprecher teilt seine eigene Erfahrung, wie er in seiner eigenen Schlafzimmer-Umgebung verlegen war und nicht wusste, wie er die physische Interaktion fortsetzt. Er betont die Wichtigkeit von physischer Nähe, um Vertrauen aufzubauen und gibt Beispiele dafür, wie man durch den Austausch von Körpersprache und kleinen Berührungen eine Verbindung aufbauen kann.

05:01

🤔 Die Bedeutung der physischen Verbindung

In diesem Absatz wird die Wichtigkeit der physischen Verbindung hervorgehoben, insbesondere durch den Fokus auf die Verbesserung der Beziehung durch physische Interaktionen. Der Sprecher diskutiert, wie man durch das Teilen von Witzen, Lachen und gelegentliche Berührungen eine enge Verbindung aufbaut. Er teilt auch persönliche Erfahrungen, wie er mit verschiedenen Frauen interagierte und zeigt, dass physische Nähe nicht notwendigerweise intime oder sexuelle Konnotationen haben muss, sondern einfach eine natürliche Möglichkeit ist, die Beziehung zu vertiefen.

10:02

🤝 Einführung in den physischen Kontakt

Der dritte Absatz konzentriert sich auf die Einführung in den physischen Kontakt, beginnend mit einem Handschlag oder einer anderen Form der Begrüßung. Der Sprecher erzählt von einem persönlichen Erlebnis, bei dem er eine Frau in einem Café angesprochen hat und wie er den physischen Kontakt eingeführt hat, indem er einen Handschlag angeboten hat. Er betont, dass es wichtig ist, die Reaktion der anderen Person auf den physischen Kontakt zu beobachten, um zu verstehen, ob sie diesen Kontakt gutheißen.

15:03

😌 Umgang mit Ablehnung und Missverständnissen

In diesem Absatz geht es um die Umsetzung von physischer Nähe und die Reaktion auf mögliche Ablehnung oder Missverständnisse. Der Sprecher teilt, wie man in Situationen vorsichtig sein sollte, ohne dabei übermäßig vorsichtig zu sein, und betont die Notwendigkeit, Ablehnung respektvoll zu akzeptieren. Er diskutiert auch die psychologischen Barrieren, die Männer dazu bringen, zurückzuhalten, und wie man durch Selbstvertrauen und eine positive Einstellung diese Überwinden kann.

20:04

🧘‍♂️ Mentale Vorbereitung und Umgang mit Rejection

Der fünfte und letzte Absatz thematisiert die mentale Vorbereitung für physische Interaktionen und wie man Rejection und Misserfolge im Umgang mit physischer Nähe handhabt. Der Sprecher betont die Wichtigkeit einer starken inneren Einstellung und des Umgangs mit Ablehnung, indem man sie als Teil des Lernprozesses akzeptiert. Er teilt, wie man durch eine positive Einstellung und die Bereitschaft, Rejection zu akzeptieren, die Fähigkeit erhöht, physische Nähe in Beziehungen auf natürliche und selbstvertrauende Weise zu integrieren.

Keywords

💡Eskalation

Eskalation bezieht sich auf den Prozess des Graduellen Aufbaus physischer Nähe oder des emotionalen Austausches zwischen zwei Personen. Im Video wird dies als eine Herausforderung dargestellt, die viele junge Männer haben, insbesondere in Bezug auf die physische Annäherung an Frauen. Ein Beispiel aus dem Skript ist die Unsicherheit des Sprechers, wie man in seiner eigenen Wohnung nach dem Einladen eines Mädchens 'weitermachen' sollte.

💡Soziale Intelligenz

Soziale Intelligenz ist die Fähigkeit, soziale Signale zu erkennen und darauf zu reagieren. Im Video wird betont, dass dies für die Erkennung geeigneter Momente zur physischen Eskalation entscheidend ist. Der Sprecher teilt seine Erfahrungen, wie er lernte, diese Fähigkeit zu entwickeln, um zu verstehen, wann eine Person auf eine Annäherung anreceptiv ist.

💡Physische Berührung

Physische Berührung ist ein wichtiger Aspekt des menschlichen Austauschs und kann die Nähe und das Vertrauen zwischen Menschen stärken. Im Video wird diskutiert, dass die Berührung eine natürliche und bedeutende Methode ist, um eine Verbindung mit anderen herzustellen, und dass es für viele Männer eine Schwierigkeit darstellt, dies in Bezug auf Frauen anzuwenden.

💡Attraktivität

Attraktivität ist ein Konzept, das in dem Video als ein wesentlicher Faktor für die人际 Attraktion beschrieben wird. Der Sprecher betont, dass physische Attraktivität, insbesondere der Körperbau, einen großen Einfluss auf die Anziehungskraft hat und dass dies bei der Interaktion mit dem Gegenüber berücksichtigt werden sollte.

💡Rezeptivität

Rezeptivität bezieht sich auf die Willingkeit oder die positive Reaktion eines Menschen auf die Annäherungsversuche eines anderen. Im Video wird dies als ein Schlüsselfaktor für die Entscheidung, ob und wie man physisch eskalieren sollte. Der Sprecher teilt, wie man durch Beobachtung von Körpersprache und Tonfall die Rezeptivität eines Mädchens beurteilen kann.

💡Körpersprache

Körpersprache ist eine Form der nicht verbalen Kommunikation, die durch Gesten, Haltung und Mimik zum Ausdruck kommt. Im Video wird sie als ein Mittel zur Beurteilung der Rezeptivität einer Person für physische Annäherung herangezogen. Der Sprecher gibt Beispiele für positive und negative Körpersprache, die darauf hindeuten können, ob eine Eskalation angemessen ist.

💡Verbindung

Verbindung beschreibt die emotionale oder physische Beziehung zwischen zwei Personen. Im Video wird betont, dass die physische Berührung eine der effektivsten Methoden ist, um eine tiefere Verbindung mit jemandem herzustellen, und dass dies ein natürlicher Prozess sein sollte, der nicht aus Unsicherheit oder Inferioritätsgefühlen resultiert.

💡Erfahrungssammlung

Erfahrungssammlung bezieht sich auf den Prozess des Sammelns und Lernens aus verschiedenen Interaktionen und Erfahrungen. Im Video wird dies als entscheidend für die Entwicklung von sozialer Intelligenz und das Verständnis, wann und wie man physisch eskalieren sollte, beschrieben.

💡Zustimmung

Zustimmung ist die Zustimmung oder das Einverständnis einer Person für bestimmte Handlungen oder Vorschläge. Im Video wird diskutiert, dass die explizite Zustimmung, insbesondere in Bezug auf physische Berührung, nicht immer erforderlich ist und dass eine intuitivere und sensitivere Herangehensweise angebrachter sein kann.

💡Rejection

Rejection bezieht sich auf die Ablehnung einer Person oder eines Vorschlags. Im Video wird erörtert, dass die Angst vor Rejection eine große Rolle bei der Unsicherheit vieler Männer spielt, wenn es darum geht, physisch zu eskalieren. Der Sprecher teilt, wie man Rejection angemessen handhaben sollte, indem man sie respektiert und nicht aggressiv reagiert.

Highlights

Eskalation von körperlicher Nähe als häufiges Problem für junge Männer

Wichtigkeit körperlicher Nähe für die Entwicklung von Beziehungen

Studien über die Wirkung von physischem Kontakt auf die Wahrnehmung von Menschen

Persönliche Erfahrungen mit der Herausforderung, physisch zu eskalieren

Die Bedeutung von sozialer Intuition für die Interaktion mit Frauen

Vermeidung von unangemessener körperlicher Interaktion durch die Beobachtung von Reaktionen

Die Notwendigkeit, Erfahrungen zu sammeln, um die Rezeption von körperlicher Nähe besser einschätzen zu können

Kritik an der Idee, dass man körperliche Nähe nur mit verbaler Zustimmung einleiten sollte

Die Rolle von Selbstvertrauen und positiver Einstellung bei der Annäherung an andere

Praktische Beispiele für die Einleitung von physischer Nähe in sozialen Interaktionen

Die Auswirkungen von physischer Attractiveness auf die Attraktivität gegenüber anderen

Empfohlene Vorgehensweise, um die eigene Körpersprache und Rezeption zu verbessern

Die Bedeutung der Einstellung und Überzeugungen für die Interaktion mit anderen

Umgang mit Missverständnissen oder Ablehnungen in sozialen Interaktionen

Die Notwendigkeit, Rejection in sozialen Interaktionen als Teil des Lernprozesses zu akzeptieren

Die Rolle der physischen Nähe in der Entwicklung von Beziehungen und das Überwinden von Ängsten

Die Bedeutung der persönlichen Verantwortung und der Selbststandards in der Interaktion mit anderen

Transcripts

imagine you do the hard part of

attracting a girl and you finally bring

her back to your place you go up to your

room and then you just don't really know

how to escalate from here you don't know

how to get physical she's getting

impatient she's starting to think that

you're one of those better males one of

those jefferies and she dreams about the

kind of man who was so utterly confident

and masculine not knowing how to

escalate or start like physical touching

women it's like it's a very common

problem that a lot of young men have and

honestly i was 100 there i've literally

you know how i started this video saying

okay well you brought a girl back and

stuff and you just don't know how to go

from there bro i have had that

experience with maybe 10 15 girls where

i bring them back and i've done the hard

part maybe i'll kiss them in the club

but as soon as you kind of like get back

into your own bedroom you just kind of

don't really know how to escalate from

here you know your netflix and chilling

and you've done the whole arm thing and

now like you know she's she's actually

watching the movie and like i'm not and

i'm just thinking can i go for a kick i

could like should

i just turn around and kiss her right

now should i should i wait not being

able to be physical in general but

especially with like women that you want

to be with it really [ __ ] up your mind

it is a very very like emasculating

thing to experience so i hope that we

can overcome that with some advice that

i can give you in this video i don't

think you need me to tell you that being

physical is very important there was

like studies i remember reading this if

your first impression in someone

included some caliber of physical touch

so whether it was a handshake it was

like a fist bump or hug or if you know

you were speaking to them and you gently

just kind of like tap them like this or

touch their arm or something that person

is way more likely to like you we just

like people that we've been you know a

little bit physical with if you kind of

meet someone and it's just like a

stationary like and we've not touched

each other we're not even handshaking or

anything it's like we don't have that

great of a level of trust with them just

today i was actually aware of this

there's a guy named jack who has like

his own sort of like fitness business

and he came to my muay thai session i've

seen him a few times and his friend had

showed him my videos now he started

watching my videos too [ __ ] sick i

mean him spot he's like he's massive as

[ __ ] so we sparred in muay thai and i

noticed that as me and him were talking

like we kept on like touching each other

in like a very like friendly brotherly

way like we'd make a joke and like tap

each other like this and it's like you

automatically feel way more comfortable

and way more like attracted to someone

where you can be physical with them like

that that's so important to not be held

back so how do you go from a guy who

doesn't do that at all especially not

with women and actually naturally start

doing it because i definitely was on the

far end of the spectrum where i

literally was like that kind of awkward

guy i didn't know what like you know how

to touch girls or anything i remember

like it's kind of vulgar but i remember

like verbally asking for permission to

like become more intimate with girls and

i know that this is what the modern day

like hashtag me too like type of twitter

girls will tell you yep like verbally

ask for consent bro no girl is ever

gonna find you sexy when you say some

[ __ ] like that you've gotta almost like

go with it with some level of like

intuition and that's really the first

piece of advice i can give you you need

some understanding of like social

intuition social intelligence you need

to kind of like just be able to pick up

from someone is there someone who would

be receptive to my touch because some

people won't be and the truthful but

kind of

way to find out about this is

go and try it going like you know you

need to build up this like catalog of

experiences of like times when you've

tried to be a little bit more physical a

little bit more forward a little bit

more escalating with someone and

it didn't work and it didn't work and

then your brain starts processing okay

so when someone you know has this kind

of body like obviously this is like

subconscious but when someone has this

kind of body language when someone looks

at you this kind of way that means that

if you did go and touch them they might

not be receptive to it but if someone's

got this kind of body language this kind

of like you know facial expression when

they talk to you this kind of vocal

tonality and you touch them you'll find

that they're really receptive to you as

well i took a second before making this

video and i was like i don't really know

what advice to give you because it's

kind of like i don't consciously know

either i can't tell you there's like a

hard rule okay you can do this you can

do this because you need to experience

it for yourself you need to have like

that catalogue of like of experiences

you need to have that history with like

trying to be like a little bit more

intimate a little bit more physical a

little bit more affectionate with a

bunch of girls and then as you

experience things some girls aren't

receptive some girls are some guys are

some guys aren't you start to kind of

build up this picture of like okay you

know it's subconscious so you're not

gonna have these clear thoughts but it's

like oh well yeah this person right here

seems receptive so i could go with a

little like pat on the arm as i make a

joke or something because i can stand

here and try and give you that

conventional advice well if someone's

got this kind of body language or if

someone looks at you in this way and

it's not going to help you you'll watch

the video and it'll be so sick like

you'll watch the video this video will

get like really high view retention if i

said okay you can touch a girl if she

has her feet like this and if she

touches her neck like this that means

that she's really into you you'd watch

it and i would get so many views and the

video would do so well but it's like bro

anyone who makes a video like oh well

you know this is the body language that

means that she will sleep with you

tonight bro 13 ways that shut the [ __ ]

up bro 13 ways to know that women are

holding interest in you indicators shut

the [ __ ] up anyone who makes these like

quick like you know specific thing like

if a girl touches her neck while she

talks to you that means that she'll [ __ ]

you tonight bro it's not going to help

you me telling you okay well there's 10

things you know and if she has her feet

like this and if she does this and if

she does this it's going to over

complicate in your brain and now you're

not going to be present when you're

actually going about these interactions

the best case scenario you go into these

situations with this open observing kind

of mindset where you just kind of like

ask yourself common sense is like does

this person seem like receptive and are

you receptive towards like we can always

say like is she receptive is he

receptive but do you like them do you

actually want to connect with them in a

better way because chances are you know

what i can make this video about them

but i think it's so much more empowering

to talk about you

and just ask you if you want to connect

with this person

then shoot your shot and one of the

easiest fastest most natural way for us

to connect is with physical touch and if

you don't really want to connect with

this person if you want to connect with

them out of insecurity or out of

inferiority you know i said well it's a

girl so i'll hopefully i'll happily

connect with her because it's a girl and

uh instead of actually thinking okay

well is this a good girl is this a girl

that i actually want to connect with if

you ask yourself those questions do you

like some kind of quick mental

evaluation of this person in front of

you and think you know what yeah this is

kind of like a sick guy i want to

connect with him more so let's proceed

with that so one of the ways that i can

connect with him more is to tell jokes

and laugh and be a little bit touchy and

like you know like push push him when he

tells a joke or something we grow

through that you know because i just had

to push him when he you know he tells a

joke or something i literally just

thought okay we sparred bro my [ __ ]

leg hurts because that prick [ __ ]

kicked me hard bro there has been formed

our sense of brotherhood and i got a few

good [ __ ] hits on him maybe we'll put

up the clips so you can see our spa

today i'm not gonna lie dude's done like

um some fights before he's practiced for

like one or two years and i was like i

was hitting him instead of like low

kicks and everything i was doing quite

well we grow through some kind of

physical touch and it doesn't

necessarily have to be like intimate and

sexual but we do grow through that it's

very important to just open up this part

of your life and i can give you all

those specific things that's gonna make

you overthink i don't think it's gonna

be helpful you know one of the easiest

things i think that i can tell you right

now that's gonna help you just keep this

in mind just keep in mind okay oh yeah

proceed with more physical touch than

usual and kind of like evaluate how it

goes and learn from it but let me break

down let me give you some examples of

times especially with women as well so

the last girl that i've spoke to here

she was in a cafe i think i spoke about

the story in just a previous video we

had me and my friend nabeel were in a

cafe and there's a girl there that i

like tell him oh bro like i'm really

attracted to her she looks like a girl

that i've previously been with like

three years ago who is a good friend of

mine i'm just kind of like you know

looking at her a little bit but i'm

thinking oh it's not really socially

acceptable to like go up to her in a

cafe she's got her earphones in right

now and stuff so i'm not really gonna do

it maybe hopefully i'll get easy

hopefully like she'll make eye contact

with me soon but she didn't at this

point and so i'm just you know i'm

thinking about other things we're also

thinking about her and then my friend

nabeel stands up he's gonna leave the

cafe early i've got to stay to like

upload these videos because the internet

in the village kind of [ __ ] so i'm just

going to stay there and he kind of

stands up and he says bro before you

leave go and approach a girl i take it

as a challenge okay before he leaves

he's already stood up to leave i'm like

okay before he leaves go and approach a

girl i was literally sat there i brought

i stood the [ __ ] up walked directly to

this girl i'm not gonna lie i'm gonna

tell you the honest truth got a little

bit anxious until i walked past her walk

past her pretend got my phone out so she

was sat like imagine she sat here i'm

sat here and this cafe has like a sea

view over here so i walk past like i

walk towards her going to speak to her

but then i walk past her take my phone

out pretend i'm like recording the sea

view like oh my god then i turn

backwards and see that she has a book on

her her table so i go up and walk past

her and say oh atomic habits and she

doesn't hear me

so it's a little bit awkward obviously

but then i kind of stopped there and go

like yo excuse me and she looks at me

and

you know straight away with that kind of

opener of like okay excuse me just

within a split second i knew she was

receptive just within a split second and

you know what i can give you all like

all this like oh personality is

important stuff bro the amount of times

that i've told you that physical

attractiveness is one of the most

important parts of life a lot of people

say this is shallow like you know the

the sophisticated clean shirt

[ __ ] they'll say like this is

shallow this is really shallow to think

about attractiveness bro it's one of the

most important parts of life your

physical attractiveness is one of the

most important parts of life i've said

this multiple times especially then your

physique because your physique makes up

90 of your attractiveness if your head

obviously like your face is more in view

and your face is used in like pictures

and stuff just by a singular glance we

know if we're attracted to a girl even

if you can't see your face just by the

shape of her body why because we're

attracted to this hourglass shape

because it evolutionarily signals

fertility but really we just [ __ ]

love this this shape and a woman so when

we see a woman with that shape even from

the distance we know we're attracted to

a women when they see a man with this

shape of his upper body automatic

attraction now of course yeah we'll have

so like i'm a woman and i really like

that of course of course there's

outliers of course there's girls who

don't like muscle of course this girl

who really likes skinny guys or who

really like [ __ ] ass of course there's

gonna be some but generally this is what

women are attracted to straight women

and this is what straight men are

attracted to in terms of body shape it's

very important and so when i said excuse

me for the second time and she looked at

me within a second bro i could tell that

she was like there was some kind of

receptability there so then i said oh

like atomic habits and she's like oh yes

yes like i've been reading it to

practice my english and i said what's

one of the things that you've learned so

far and she seems to find that question

quite interesting so she says like oh

well the importance of setting she

didn't know the terms but she said like

the importance of like setting um she

did something like this she's not from

thailand or from like the uk or anything

in english is like a second language

that she's like trying to get better at

so she didn't really know but then i

said oh setting systems over goals and

she said oh yes you've like you've

remembered it you've read the book and

um so we speak there and kind of like so

she's like sat at the table so i kind of

like crouched down literally end up

having like a whole like one minute

conversation with her and then when i

asked for her name that's when i like

okay it's the start of the physical

touch and i just go with the handshake

boom so that's like level one at the

very least when you're telling someone

your name you're telling a woman or a

guy go with a handshake go with the fist

bump go with something there i could

have escalated more there i could have

like you know been you know as we we say

something in the conversation i laugh or

something like this i could have done it

but like maybe that would have been a

little bit forced this felt very natural

to me that okay when we're gonna say our

names i'm gonna hold her hand like this

and also not like you know pull it back

fast or anything i always always always

when i'm handshaking a girl i pretty

much hold it there and do like a little

bit this is sexy as [ __ ] bro so i'm

holding a hand and i do this with my

thumb

like that this is sexy as [ __ ] and it's

also i don't pull away i kind of see how

fast they pull away so some girls will

shake my hand pull away kind of faster

than it's like that's one of those

minute subconscious things that like

maybe then they're not very receptive of

me whereas all the girls will literally

hold my hand for as long as i want to

hold it and she was one of these then

next they invite her to go and like see

a sunset and then there's more like

physical touching there's more like okay

i go straight up and hold the hand and

everything then we're like walking and

so like here's some like small things

and this isn't like oh guys i went on a

date but this is like small things that

i can sort of remember what happened

we're walking through the beach and as

she said something i kind of i put my

hand on her back for like a split second

there then we sit down on the sun and

i'm kind of like leaning back you know

like with one elbow on the floor leaning

back and she's kind of like sat upright

and actually said something i just kind

of like do this to her arm like

something like this it's like that's

fine and actually the first girl that i

saw whilst i was in thailand that's

actually something that we did we went

to a different beach and i remember just

kind of like fully not holding back with

my affection whatsoever because me and

this other girl have connected very

quite well and so

i feel like i'm getting this girl and

this goes

i'm trying not to be a [ __ ] bro so this

other girl we're on the same beach but

at a different time and um pretty much

pretty much the same dynamic yeah i'm

laying back but there's other girls be

kind of like i feel like a dick oh this

other girl and this one and this one and

this one like like i was affectionate

and i often i don't really hold back on

my affection and i think that's one of

the things that you can start to

practice if you want like obviously you

know have the awareness don't be [ __ ]

weird or don't just start touching a

girl that you don't even like or that

doesn't like you but generally if you've

asked the girl on a date and you're an

attractive guy you're well put together

and she's like receptive to you you've

hugged each other and everything it

broke it's absolutely fine that when

someone's saying something that for you

to just kind of like touch their arm

like this like this is obviously like

you have to connect a little bit first

and i think me and this other girl we

kissed first on the beach i'm not

talking about the the one from the cafe

but a different girl we kissed first on

the beach then we sat down and stuff and

then as we're sat down and she's like

talking about life or something i'm like

literally just like stroking her back

something like this and it's like it's

absolutely fine we connected really well

if i was like you know proper cold and

we have to discuss you know what i

wasn't really going to talk about it but

we have to absolutely discuss that kind

of dynamic of like catching a case as a

guy because i could sugarcoat around the

situation but really one of the main

reasons why you feel like you can't be

intimate why you can't be affectionate

why can't really go for physical touch

is because of that fear of like getting

a [ __ ] accusation made about you

which is really sad because connecting

with people is one of the most important

parts of life and we're holding back

especially as like men as a whole gender

these days we're holding back because we

might catch a [ __ ] case if we like

accidentally touch the wrong girl and

everything you know there's different

ways to go about this one of them could

be okay stay ultra safe stay safe ask

ask for verbal consent bro i'm telling

you right now like that's what's

conventionally the good advice i'm

telling you right now the girl that you

asked for verbal consent but can i touch

you can i kiss you bro you're not gonna

do anything with her she's gonna think

that you're a [ __ ] whim she's gonna

think it's kind of weird that you're

asking for it and she's sleeping with

guys she's dating guys she's touching

guys she's getting like [ __ ] by guys

who aren't asking for [ __ ] verbal

consents so it's like you can go with

that soft safe route if you want but

it's it's embarrassing personally and

that's the truth i know this is like

unconventional this is controversial

what i'm saying and like a bunch of

twitter people will like hate me for

this and they'll say like no look look

he's he's a rapist he just said not to

get consent i'm not saying not to get in

consent i'm saying don't like weirdly

ask like ah can i touch you can i kiss

you please is it okay if i kiss you no

girl has

loud ass plain bro i'm telling you right

now no girl has ever fantasized about

like some chad look you know some hot

guy asking for consent no girl that's

ever like dreamt or like read an erotica

book and then and then the the the

masculine guy with bulging veins asked

please may i have sex with you no one

[ __ ] thinks like that bro apart from

these like little twitter girls real

world is not like that you don't need to

like specifically like

can i can i touch your arm please is it

okay if we hold hands you're gonna come

across as like a little wimp it's the

truth and i know it's like it's a little

bit risky then but it is the [ __ ]

truth you're gonna come across as like a

little whim if you do something like

that so the way that you should go about

it is to have this level of social

intelligence where you don't risk you

know you're not acting like a weirdo

you're not like you know like touching

girls who don't want to be touched but

you need to have that awareness okay

does she want to be touched would she be

receptive to my touch and you do it in a

way that if for example she wasn't it's

not like a court case so i mean so it's

like i don't necessarily spend time with

a girl and think oh you know play it

safe

i don't think like that because i

already have that catalogue of

experiences of wisdom to kind of

subconsciously automatically know what

would be appropriate or inappropriate

now if you've already got a bunch of

experience you don't really need to hear

this but chances are you're watching

this and you don't have that many

experiences with women especially not

like being intimate with a new girl in

public and so this is where it can get

tricky because i'm gonna be totally

honest i made a lot of mistakes when i

was younger i was 18 years old and

sometimes like i'd go in for the kiss at

the wrong moment and it'd be awkward and

a girl didn't want to kiss me but of

course i didn't act weird with that does

that make sense all just like let me i

can't think of a specific example but

let's imagine i'm 18 years old i'm on a

date or i'm on a night out and i go for

a kiss and a girl like looks at me a bit

weird or something i didn't just get

angry her i didn't like you know try and

[ __ ] grab her by the [ __ ] skull

and like start gouging her eyes whilst

going for a kill of course not it's like

obviously it's embarrassing if you go in

for a kiss and the other person isn't

receptive and they they [ __ ] do some

like muay thai clinch

to [ __ ] defend themselves you just go

like oh oh sorry boom boom that's it

that's simple no i'm not i'm not even

gonna lie to grow that can still happen

these days it doesn't happen that much

because often when i go in for the kiss

it's kind of like i know that she wants

to kiss me now because i have that like

i'm not trying to sound like a dick i

know about girls but it's after a

certain amount of like times you've

kissed a girl you or you've had sex you

kind of understand these things

subconsciously and if you aren't at that

point with that catalog of experiences

you need to just get those experiences

and of course some of them are going to

be those awkward moments when you go in

for some kind of physical touch or a

kiss or like a hug or something and it

just feels a little bit awkward i can't

tell you the amount of times i speak to

guys who are like at the starting point

of their day in lives and they ask me

like these specific questions of like oh

well when when i see her what do i do

and they'll come back and you know tell

me how like the date went with this

random girl and they're like oh yeah it

was really awkward because like i went

to go see her and we both didn't know if

we should like so we both you know like

didn't know whether they should hug when

they see each other or not so they're

kind of like imagine you you meet a girl

here you are you kind of like stop there

and you're like oh hi uh uh yeah should

we uh should we go to the bar now and

that reminds me of this one time that i

went to see like this this girl from

tinder like months ago and it was

already in my mind yeah i'm gonna hug

her i'm gonna hug her of course i am so

it's like i could have you know waited

and like seen what she wants to do and

let her lead this the initial

interaction but i kind of see her from

afar and we know it's you know i put my

hand up so she knows it's me i walk up

to and literally i opened my arms out

nice and wide we had quickly then going

to like the bar or something that we

were going to because i already had this

like mental perception of okay what i

was planning to do what would be

socially convenient okay i'm meeting

this girl for a date so i'm going to go

in for a hug i'm not going to go in for

you know a big bear hug and like hold

her there and i love you so much it was

more like a one-handed kind of like hug

like this and like oh yeah look come on

let's go let's go this way and i think

the one final thing we can talk about is

your frame your attitudes your beliefs

what are literally the thoughts that

you're having in your mind before you go

for that like physical touch affection

kiss hug whatever because if you're

thinking oh well you know i'm gonna try

and hug her but she might find it weird

she's probably gonna find it weird now

but if you've got this mindspring of

like yep i'm gonna go see this girl for

a date i'm gonna hug her because that's

what's the normal thing to do i've gotta

pre-clarify this in cases you didn't

know like this is going to seem kind of

weird but it's like whatever thoughts

you have in your mind bro it creates the

the objective truth for the world it's

kind of interesting it takes me a whole

video to explain this whatever thoughts

like words that process in your mind

literally become the truth for your

world so if you for example think oh

well i'm a loser well yep you're

objectively a loser if you start

thinking yep i'm a loser but i'm on the

pursuit of becoming a winner well then

everyone else will accept that too if

you think okay i'm going to meet this

girl but i don't know if i should hang

shake shall i go for the kiss should i

uh

then you're going to come across that

way but if you have that solid frame in

mind i'm gonna meet this girl i'm gonna

go for the hug and i'm gonna grab her by

the hand and we're gonna go into the bar

that's gonna seem as normal so make sure

you think on your side make sure you

believe and have these attitudes that

serve you instead of don't so it's an

automatic thing for me at this point but

for example with the experiences of with

the girls that i've just told you about

it's kind of like my brain automatically

would have said to me like yep like

touch her back yep go in for the kiss

now i know that this is like a normal

time to do it and if on the even on the

the weird chance that you know i had

picked up the wrong signals and i go in

for the kiss and a girl like you know

[ __ ] retract back and try [ __ ]

elbow elbow block me or something then i

kind of like can also take that quite

well and so this is the final thing we

should talk about just [ __ ] take the

rejection well because we're afraid you

click on this video and you've watched

so far let's just be [ __ ] honest

don't don't lie don't don't i'm not

afraid of you're afraid of rejection

you're afraid of looking like a weirdo

that's the exact reason why you've

watched this video so far you're afraid

of rejection and you're afraid of

looking like a weirdo or a creep so

don't come off as warm and even if you

do let's say worst case scenario the

girl retracts and like you know looks at

you like you're a little bit of a weirdo

the simplest thing you can just do is oh

i'm sorry boom that's it if you try and

you don't get aggressive and like well

but i thought if i could kiss you that i

thought you wanted to shut the [ __ ] up

oh i'm sorry boom i can't tell you the

amount of times where like i've

escalated with a girl and she like stops

for a bit i could have been weird i

thought you wanted to have sex with you

know i'm like oh sorry boom sometimes i

won't even apologize for it this happens

often when you're about to like sleep

with a girl for the first time and she

can feel like some nerves and you know

she's like a bit unsure and stuff and so

a lot of guys will like push past and

say well why not but i thought we were

gonna have sex why are you saying no now

like we're already in my bed and stuff i

remember this one specific time with

this girl that we were about to have sex

for the first time and she wanted to

like just you know she was like oh wait

i'm unsure so i just said oh yeah no no

worries and i literally all i did was

bro i grabbed the water bottle and just

started drinking and gave it to her then

we just kind of like you know moved away

from like a sexual position talked and

stuff and then re-escalated like 5-10

minutes later when and she was a lot

more comfortable you have to have this

sense of almost like compassion for the

other person and think oh well you know

by her ducking away by her saying no way

i'm not comfortable it's like yeah well

i don't want to do if you're not

comfortable that's the whole point i

like this is a bonding experience it's

like a connecting experience for both of

us so if you see a level of discomfort

or agitation or you know

some kind of like held backness in the

other person well then hold back

yourself have some standards for

yourself and think you know what well i

don't want to kiss someone who doesn't

want to kiss me i don't want to have sex

with someone who doesn't want to have

sex with me you can subscribe to our

channel if you want to welcome to the

cult do the hard work especially when

you don't feel like it