What to Do When She Tests You! Part 5
Summary
TLDRIn diesem Video geht es um das Thema 'Testing' in zwischenmenschlichen Beziehungen. Der Sprecher betont die Wichtigkeit von emotionaler Verbindung und Authentizität beim spielerischen Testen und Neckereien. Er erläutert, wie eine fehlende Verbindung zu unangenehmen Reaktionen führen kann, und zeigt anhand von Übungen, wie man auf körperliche und verbale Spannungen reagieren sollte. Das Ziel ist es, die Fähigkeit zu entwickeln, entspannt und spielerisch auf Herausforderungen zu reagieren, um eine tiefere Verbindung zu schaffen. Am Ende des Videos wird auf Workshops und Events hingewiesen, bei denen diese Techniken vertieft werden können.
Takeaways
- 😀 Verbindung ist entscheidend: Der Sprecher betont, wie wichtig es ist, eine starke emotionale Verbindung zu anderen aufzubauen, bevor man mit Tests oder neckendem Verhalten beginnt.
- 😅 Testen ohne Verbindung kann peinlich sein: Wenn man versucht, jemanden zu necken oder zu testen, ohne eine Verbindung zu haben, kann es schnell unangenehm werden.
- 😉 Worte und Körpersprache müssen übereinstimmen: Ein lockerer und verspielter Tonfall kann den Unterschied machen, wenn man jemanden testet oder neckt.
- 😄 Übung macht den Meister: Der Sprecher empfiehlt, das Spiel mit Worten und Spannung zu üben, um sich im Umgang mit anderen zu verbessern.
- 🤔 Nicht zu viel nachdenken: Der Sprecher warnt davor, beim Necken oder Testen zu viel nachzudenken, da dies die Verbindung schwächt.
- 🥰 Genießen ist der Schlüssel: Sowohl der Tester als auch die getestete Person sollten Spaß haben und den Moment genießen, um eine positive Erfahrung zu schaffen.
- 🤗 Körperliche Spannung als Übung: Der Sprecher schlägt vor, körperliche Spannung zu nutzen, um den Umgang mit verbaler Spannung zu üben.
- 🗣️ Erlaubnis ist wichtig: Es ist wichtig, vor dem Testen oder Necken die Zustimmung der anderen Person einzuholen, um Missverständnisse zu vermeiden.
- 🧠 Fehler sind in Ordnung: Das Wichtigste ist, nach einem Fehler wieder zur Verbindung zurückzufinden, anstatt perfekt sein zu wollen.
- 🎉 Der Spaß am Spiel: Das Necken und Testen sollte als ein spielerischer Tanz gesehen werden, bei dem beide Beteiligten Freude haben und sich weiter kennenlernen.
Q & A
Was ist das Hauptthema des Videos?
-Das Hauptthema des Videos ist das Testen in sozialen Interaktionen, insbesondere in Bezug auf Verbindung und das Spielen mit Spannung und Teasing.
Warum ist es wichtig, die vorherigen Videos über Verbindung zu verstehen?
-Es ist wichtig, die vorherigen Videos über Verbindung zu verstehen, weil eine starke Verbindung die Grundlage für erfolgreiches Testen und Teasing bildet. Ohne diese Verbindung kann das Testen unangenehm oder unangemessen wirken.
Was passiert, wenn man versucht zu testen, ohne eine Verbindung aufzubauen?
-Wenn man versucht zu testen, ohne eine Verbindung aufzubauen, kann es schnell unangenehm werden, da das Gegenüber das Verhalten als unpassend oder aufdringlich empfindet.
Wie sollte man reagieren, wenn die andere Person beim Testen oder Teasing unwohl wird?
-Wenn die andere Person beim Testen oder Teasing unwohl wird, sollte man sofort zurücktreten und ihr Raum geben, anstatt weiterzumachen und sie zu bedrängen.
Welche Rolle spielt der eigene Genuss in sozialen Interaktionen?
-Der eigene Genuss ist entscheidend, da er die Interaktion authentisch und angenehm macht. Wenn beide Personen den Moment genießen, wird die Verbindung vertieft.
Wie kann man körperliche Spannung als Übung für verbale Spannung nutzen?
-Körperliche Spannung kann als Übung für verbale Spannung genutzt werden, indem man lernt, in stressigen Situationen entspannt zu bleiben und den Spaß daran zu finden, ähnlich wie bei verbalen Herausforderungen.
Warum ist es wichtig, beim Üben von Tests und Spannungen immer um Erlaubnis zu bitten?
-Es ist wichtig, immer um Erlaubnis zu bitten, um sicherzustellen, dass beide Personen sich wohlfühlen und die Übung als sicher und respektvoll empfinden.
Wie sollte man mit Fehlern und Unsicherheiten während des Testens umgehen?
-Man sollte Fehler und Unsicherheiten während des Testens akzeptieren und sich darauf konzentrieren, verbunden zu bleiben, anstatt perfekt zu sein. Das Erholen von kleinen Fehlern kann sogar attraktiv wirken.
Welche Hinweise gibt das Video zur Interpretation von Körpersprache?
-Das Video betont, dass Körpersprache tiefer interpretiert werden sollte, als es in Büchern oft beschrieben wird. Man sollte auf die Gefühle hinter der Körpersprache achten, nicht nur auf die äußeren Signale.
Was ist das Hauptziel dieser Übungen im Kontext sozialer Interaktionen?
-Das Hauptziel dieser Übungen ist es, die Fähigkeit zu entwickeln, entspannt und verbunden zu bleiben, selbst wenn man in soziale Tests oder Spannungen involviert ist, um authentisch und selbstbewusst zu interagieren.
Outlines
🎬 Einführung in das Thema 'Testing' und die Bedeutung von Verbindung
Im ersten Abschnitt wird das Konzept des 'Testings' vorgestellt. Es wird betont, dass es wichtig ist, eine Verbindung zum Gegenüber aufzubauen und zu halten, bevor man mit dem Testen beginnt. Der Sprecher erklärt, wie fehlende Verbindung beim Flirten zu unangenehmen Situationen führen kann und gibt ein Beispiel dafür, wie das richtige Gefühl und die richtige Energie den Unterschied machen können.
😊 Spaß am spielerischen Necking und der richtige Umgang mit Spannungen
In diesem Abschnitt wird demonstriert, wie man durch spielerisches Necking und Banter eine angenehme und entspannte Atmosphäre schaffen kann. Der Sprecher zeigt, wie man sich auf das Gefühl konzentriert und nicht zu viel nachdenkt, um authentisch zu bleiben. Es wird ein kurzes Rollenspiel durchgeführt, um zu zeigen, wie wichtig es ist, im Moment zu bleiben und auf die Reaktionen des Gegenübers einzugehen.
💪 Umgang mit körperlicher Spannung zur Förderung emotionaler Stärke
Der dritte Abschnitt befasst sich mit der Praxis des Umgangs mit körperlicher Spannung, um die Fähigkeit zu stärken, verbale Spannungen zu ertragen. Der Sprecher demonstriert eine Übung, bei der körperliche Spannung als Mittel zur Sensibilisierung des Körpers genutzt wird, was letztlich zu einer besseren Verarbeitung von emotionaler Spannung führt. Es wird gezeigt, wie man durch wiederholtes Training entspannter und spielerischer auf Herausforderungen reagiert.
📈 Entwicklung von Fähigkeiten durch kontinuierliche Übung und Reflektion
Im letzten Abschnitt wird betont, wie wichtig kontinuierliche Übung und das Erkennen von Grenzen in der Interaktion sind. Der Sprecher empfiehlt, diese Techniken mit einem Partner zu üben und die Grenzen des Gegenübers zu respektieren. Es wird auch auf die Möglichkeit hingewiesen, an speziellen Workshops teilzunehmen, um diese Fähigkeiten weiter zu vertiefen. Abschließend wird der Zuschauer ermutigt, den Kanal zu abonnieren und Feedback zu geben.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Testing
💡Verbindung
💡Entspannung
💡Banter
💡Körpersprache
💡Subkommunikation
💡Grenzen
💡Spielen
💡Sicherheit
💡Fehler machen
Highlights
The video focuses on testing in social interactions, particularly in the context of maintaining connection and relaxation.
Understanding the importance of connection is crucial before engaging in playful testing or teasing to avoid awkwardness.
The speaker emphasizes that successful banter relies on a deep connection and open-hearted enjoyment, not just clever lines.
A key mistake in banter is overthinking responses, which disrupts the natural flow and connection.
Playing with one or two words at a time helps reduce overthinking and enhances connection during banter.
Physical tension exercises can help train the body to handle verbal tension, enhancing the ability to stay grounded and connected.
The speaker demonstrates how to playfully engage in teasing by maintaining connection, even when physical or verbal tension arises.
The video explores the importance of staying present and connected during banter, even when faced with potentially uncomfortable or challenging situations.
Body language is discussed as a nuanced form of communication, where the underlying feeling is more important than the specific gesture.
The speaker highlights the importance of checking for both your own and the other person's enjoyment during banter.
Recovering quickly from minor disconnections during banter can be attractive and keeps the interaction dynamic.
The video advises that practicing these techniques with friends can help improve handling tension in social interactions.
Permission and clear communication are emphasized when practicing tension-based exercises to ensure mutual comfort and respect.
The importance of gradual learning and progression is highlighted, starting from physical tension to verbal banter.
The video promotes the idea that confidence and relaxation are key to successfully navigating social interactions and playful teasing.
Transcripts
[Music]
so in this video we're gonna talk about
testing and we're gonna take a look at
what what testing is what it looks like
and I got the beautiful Emily here again
and and so we're gonna play a little bit
do some exercises to give you kind of an
understanding now for testing to really
work you need to understand the previous
videos where we played a lot with
connection this ability to stay
connected to somebody else and to stay
relaxed open-hearted to be enjoying them
feeling down the front of the body
that's really important because if I
don't have that and then I start playing
with testing or I start teasing her and
she starts testing me back it's probably
gonna get awkward really fast have any
of you guys I'm just gonna ask this
question you can even comment about if
any of you guys ever gone out and he say
I'm gonna I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna
banter I'm gonna tease I'm gonna play
and then you say something all the girl
does is get pissed off it's probably
because there's no connection there's no
feeling there's no depth of feeling
you're just or you're or you're taking
it too far too fast or something like
that and that taking it too far too fast
it's a sign that you're not feeling and
an example of this would be like the
very first thing I used to play when I
go out as I say to girls did you look
like trouble when I've said this before
it's all I knew how to say so it works
so I would say it I'd walk up to a girl
at a bar and say you look like trouble
but when you're off and your tones off
and you can't feel and you're trying to
search for the right feeling but maybe
you're a little angry maybe a little
frustrated then you come up and go you
look like trouble what does she feel
what do you feel when I did that what
did you feel you look like trouble
yeah it's like you want to get away
right away yeah am I in trouble yeah and
why is this guy crazy why is he telling
me I look like trouble do you see what I
mean he's not playing yeah it feels like
what feels like a line just yeah it
feels like a lionfish so there's a lot
of things there that it will throw it
off and so when we're playing with this
stuff that the first step is the
connection it's relaxing and enjoying
the person and then I could say you look
like trouble and it has a different
energy
she knows I'm playing because part of my
sub communications saying something diff
but my words are they're almost in
congruent in a fun way and that's that's
the fun part
so we're gonna play with a little bit of
a teasing back and forth or banter back
and forth we'll just see where it goes
we'll kind of play with it naturally and
this is what you can do to exercise this
you don't want to think this is the
biggest mistake everybody makes out
there they sit here they say something
you look like trouble maybe they say it
really good you look like trouble and
then they go up here to think about that
why she's responding they're thinking
about their next line and then when she
said her next little said something they
come back then they go back and they do
this and it's just confusing
okay
so I don't want you thinking I'd rather
have you say stuff that's not that good
that's but more connected that's the
important part
yeah so let's just play with let's
experiment with one word at a time or
one or two words okay
so I'll start with the trouble and then
you say something back really yes
definitely
goofball
sometimes yeah me too
I can tell nervous hmm yeah
curious me too like
okay
tension like
like nice very good so you can feel the
tension in that huh is there a feeling
that you want to check out the crowd
yeah did you see it they were thinking
they would feel it you can feel the
tension in that and that's the play so
you see how we're playing with one word
at a time to get rid of this need to
think because the only way you can make
one word or the time work is if you feel
and don't worry about screwing up
grown-ups great as long as there's
connection there let yourself be nervous
let yourself screw up let yourself
up let yourself back up and then come
back just stay connected that's what's
important I feel like I want to poke at
you but I'm not sure what to stay I'm
feeling it out okay you have a feisty
son mm-hmm I'm super curious now you are
yeah I want a little face that of you I
know yeah so sweet I know you men really
like the feisty me do you do yeah yeah
yeah about tension like the butt heads a
little bit
you ready to butt heads with me yeah
let's go yeah they're saying feisty
feisty yeah you got a good head I think
it'd knock somebody out with this thing
what a compliment
yeah a head shot to the nose they're so
complimenting me though I am I am I'm
head I'm compliment you on your head but
I know should I be insulting you that
you could we could try that and it's all
like God give that okay it's the feisty
it's more like willing to get in solo
give me a good insult for you
good insult for me yeah Oh God maybe
something I don't want to hear mm-hmm
definitely oh I think you're really
unintelligent I hate hearing yeah you're
completely unintelligent I only like
sapiosexual is I'm just not interested
yeah
it's too bad mm-hmm yeah definitely too
bad I don't think we could be able to
carry on a conversation not at all it's
dying a right as we speak
can you feel it dying yeah I feel it
dying yeah waiting yeah yeah so sad
mm-hmm okay so what did you see what did
you feel put in the video I want to hear
some comments that was that for you
good I was just noticing which has come
up in the workshop sometimes as I kind
of I crossed my arms like this but again
it wasn't I wasn't turning away from you
it wasn't that it was just like oh
you've made me slightly uncomfortable
you know and it's still kind of exciting
so it doesn't necessarily mean I don't
want in on this it just means I'm kind
of like oh and that's exactly how I took
it because you're because you could feel
you feeling your body right and enjoy
and like a almost enjoying inside so
you'll see guys do this too some guys
will cross their arms in there this is
this is it this isn't this is not good
this is you pulling away you can feel it
and then some guys across their arms and
I I think I've done that since if I can
get it right where I'm like you're kind
of because it's a little bit vulnerable
okay and some guys will cross their arms
and do something like this where they're
actually dropping down in their body
what's happening is it then maybe
they're feeling a little vulnerable here
so they do this but then they stay
grounded in feeling so you can actually
come in and be like this with somebody
it's challenging and it's playful and
that's another way to go so body
language isn't always exactly what they
say in the books you got to look at the
depth of feeling on the body language so
we had some people calling us up and
saying well this body language means
this but we're going a level deeper
we're going to the feeling behind the
body language I have a friend and he'll
hit on girls like this he'll cross his
legs and he'll push his crotch for it
and he'll do this and it works and he'll
start touching himself like this and
what's he doing he's playing he's
playing he's enjoying his he's literally
getting turned on crossing his on legs
pushing his crotch forward he's enjoying
touching himself he's not a nervous
touch like this it's a relaxed I'm
petting myself and letting you feel it
because he feels good she feels good
most important thing and that is the
most important thing and she feels all
that because she's super sensitive so
even as we work I see you getting low
with the tension you love or poor you
are a reporter all the tension
especially on camera starts to freeze
you up a bit doesn't it and then you let
it go yeah and then you let it go and so
I see those bit yeah don't worry about
that let that happen and just create a
space for her to relax and play and if
she really freezes up back up you don't
need to keep going I've seen that happen
where guys are like oh it's working
now I'm gonna plow right over the top of
her don't do that as soon as she's at
that point back up give her space you
guys are fun together you want to keep
the game going you don't want to just
end it instantly okay and that's the
other big mistake I see is there
anything else you want to share yeah no
I think that's the main thing is that
like just checking for the other
person's enjoyment but it's also
checking for your enjoyment you are you
enjoying this moment really yeah because
it does connect the more I enjoy it the
more you enjoy it the more you enjoy it
the more I enjoy it and this continues
to circulate if you're connected yeah if
you're not connected none of that
applies and we can feel when you're
connected and we can feel when you're
playing yeah and we can feel when you're
not or when you're trying and you're
just doing a terrible job of it
yeah which probably happens more often
than not unfortunately
now I'm gonna do one more thing I want
to really illustrate this I probably
should have done this at the beginning
of the video but we're gonna do it right
here I want to play with a little
physical tension now and physical
tension is not usually what you're going
to encounter it can be there but what it
does is it teaches the body to feel the
tension which is exactly the same
process the body has to go through when
it's a verbal tension so if she looks at
me and calls me a goofball I have to
relax and let that run through my body
and enjoy it okay but at first when you
don't have that ability running inside
you you don't know how it works
doing some physical tension to learn how
to teach it to your body is really good
it's the first practice and then you
start adding the words then you do the
physical tension with the words and
eventually you take away the physical
tension an example of this would be just
hit me right here and then I step into
it cuz it's fun now when I do this now
so you want to meet a guy I wanted to
come back now
when you do this with somebody who's new
they tend to which we're gonna we're
gonna play with in a bit they tend to
shut down on you they collapse
energetically so go ahead and hit me and
they start to take it personal and they
pull inside and that's the that's the
same energy that happens if she said
something verbally like you're a
goofball now say something else any any
insult I don't care and hit me at the
same time it says strange and then you
just keep walking into it and keep
playing with it and you can even know in
it yeah yeah I'm so strange
I'm totally strange actually just do
that again cuz like I when I looked over
there I threw it off completely okay
you're so strange
yeah I'm strange I'm by the strangest
guy in the room I think you're strange
too okay good
do you feel that and how did that feel
for you great yeah I wanna keep playing
and it's it's a game it's a dance so we
want to train that into your bodies so
what I'm gonna do I'm gonna take a
volunteer who wants to come up you wanna
come on okay good and so what we're
gonna do is we're gonna brick come back
up everybody say hi to Britt and Britt's
gonna do the same exercise we're gonna
start with the push and you're gonna see
what it looks like so go ahead and walk
up and just stand right here and then
when you're ready go ahead and give
Britt a test
so what happened did you feel Britt he
smiled thought about it but he was
beating himself up at the same time a
little bit or how did it feel to you
yeah because he he went back and there
was a moment he disconnected with me and
then he had to then there was like a
time lapse where you had to like force
yourself to get back into it
mmm yeah so there's a little bit of like
faking it did you feel all that yeah
it's all right okay so do it do it a few
times now just do it and then you just
keep stronger and do it again you saw
you can think until he starts to
surrender the thinking yeah yeah now
stop for a sec yeah does he feel better
now put a word or two to it and and say
something and then put him together
you're cute likes that one let him up it
was a compliment
sometimes compliments can take people
out okay now do something insulting oh
thank you okay that was you responded at
first really good then you started to
worry just a little bit keep going do it
two or three times your face keep going
before you can bank disconnecting keep
going stop shutting down okay those are
good tests cuz it's like my and my nod
am I am I not so what did you feel from
Britt um much more groundedness like
every time I would do it again you come
back stronger which is cool to feel yeah
you come back strong and there was less
of that lag time you're like am i doing
it right am i less in your head it's
just you're staying with me but you can
feel a hint don't worry right oh yeah
and is that bad no again cuz he's yeah I
mean yes it's there but he still keeps
coming back
so he's not getting it perfect but
there's still some he's still showing up
he's still recovering and so that is
even more awesome some ways if you
disconnect for a sec and then recover
really quick that can be really sexy to
some women okay so don't worry about it
just if you start to go on your head
just come back or if you get a little
off that's no big deal it's when you're
completely off that's the problem you
don't have to be perfect like I said
before how do you feel Brit nervous good
did you like it yeah it's kind of fun
not it's it gets addicting by the way
okay okay now just do the insults just
in sauce yeah alright calm in soul it's
comments whatever you think will throw
them off what's with your hair - fun
yeah you can respond this fashion
[Music]
there's a turn-on
yeah stay right with me that was a good
response yeah I think Brett likes his
hair proud of that air okay good okay
that's good enough go ahead and thank
your partner yeah thank you
good so so again it's it's learning to
relax into the rejection learning to
relax into the tension now it gets
harder because she can get really cold
and mean and you can keep you stay open
and these are the challenges that happen
and so these are exercises and drills
you get a little better and with time
your body learns to relax and let it run
through I hope you guys are learning
something I hope you're seeing what
we're talking about here with the
testing testing come in a lot of forms
this is really basic testing we're not
we're not going crazy with this it's
just giving you an idea so you can
practice this on your own you can
practice this with your guy friends it
doesn't have to be sexual it's just a
matter of rounding out the tension that
comes at you when the person pushes on
you and then stepping into it and I kisi
she likes it and I kind of like that she
likes it kind of lights me up too so do
it a couple more times okay that wasn't
good that wasn't a no terrible place
come on you can do better oh is that
it's all you got and this is part of the
fun of the game isn't it
fun of the day it's literally a dance
and she's trying to break me as a
challenge and I'm waiting and waiting
and it's a beautiful moment and then you
can just stop and you can relax because
now what happened if I stay solid and
connected as a part of her that wants to
get to know who I am on the inside and
she's now she's curious and when all
that stops and cells down there's this
moment of okay I want to hear who you
really are now and it's fun okay good
so with that said this is by permission
only you find somebody if you're gonna
do this at home that you agree ahead of
time you get very clear that this is
something we're doing together and by
permission only okay so don't go out and
do anything stupid
this is this is meant to be a practice
and in reality what's going to happen is
you're gonna slowly convert this over to
words to where you can just relax into
somebody saying stuff to you and you can
just enjoy it and you can go back and
forth and that's that's the beautiful
part of it so make sure that you get
permission and that you stop when
somebody says stop because some people
will take it personal and you got to
know their boundaries and play very
carefully okay I want to thank the
beautiful Emily for coming out and she
did an amazing job today I want you guys
to check out the events page if this is
something you really want to learn
you're not sure how to get it yourself
and it's something you need to see in
person
check out the fearless men live check
out the fearless experience the fearless
man live is where we do a live demos of
this for two days straight and you
really get to see the subtle nuances you
get to ask all your questions and some
of you if you're willing get to come on
stage and try it out with the models the
experience is where you do in-depth work
with this stuff and we really dive in
much deeper so if you're interested in
something like that make sure to check
out our events page
and and come out and meet us in person
with that said make sure to subscribe to
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said remember only the confident really
live see you in the next video
[Music]
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