Drew Dudley "Everyday Leadership" - TED Talks

Summary

The speaker reflects on the misconceptions surrounding leadership, suggesting that we often view it as an unattainable goal rather than acknowledging the small, impactful moments we create in others' lives. Through a personal story of a 'lollipop moment' at a university, they illustrate how seemingly insignificant actions can profoundly influence others. The speaker encourages embracing our power to positively affect others, redefining leadership not by grand gestures but by the everyday 'lollipop moments' we can acknowledge and foster.

Takeaways

• 🤔 The speaker suggests that many people are uncomfortable identifying themselves as leaders because leadership has been perceived as something grand and beyond the reach of the average person.
• 🌟 Leadership is often associated with the ability to change the world, which can make individuals feel like they are not yet deserving of the title due to a sense of arrogance or cockiness.
• 🎉 The speaker believes that by focusing on extraordinary achievements, society may devalue the everyday acts of leadership that people perform without recognition.
• 👋 The importance of acknowledging and celebrating 'lollipop moments' is highlighted, where small acts of kindness or influence can significantly impact someone's life.
• 😲 The speaker shares a personal story where a seemingly insignificant interaction had a profound effect on a student's life, demonstrating the power of small actions.
• 😅 The speaker admits to not remembering the impactful moment, which underscores the idea that impactful moments may not always be recognized by the person who initiated them.
• 💡 The concept of 'lollipop moments' is introduced as a metaphor for the positive and transformative moments in life that are often overlooked.
• 🙏 The speaker encourages the audience to recognize and express gratitude for the positive impacts they have had on others' lives.
• 🌱 The idea that leadership is not about titles or power, but about the everyday moments where we influence and care for others is presented.
• 💥 The speaker challenges the audience to redefine leadership as being about the positive moments we create and acknowledge, rather than traditional notions of power and influence.
• 🌈 The final call to action is to overcome the fear of our own power and potential, to value the impact we have on each other's lives, and to redefine leadership in a way that is more personal and accessible.

Q & A

What is the main issue the speaker identifies with people's perception of leadership?

The speaker identifies that people often perceive leadership as something too big or beyond themselves, which they believe is reserved for those who change the world, and this perception can lead to a reluctance to identify oneself as a leader.

Why does the speaker feel concerned about the way leadership is celebrated?

The speaker is concerned because the celebration of leadership is often focused on extraordinary achievements that few can attain, which can lead to the devaluation of everyday acts of leadership and the failure to recognize and appreciate the positive impact one can have on others.

What is the significance of the 'lollipop moment' in the speaker's story?

The 'lollipop moment' is significant because it represents a small, seemingly insignificant act that had a profound impact on someone's life, demonstrating that leadership and positive influence can be exerted through simple, everyday interactions.

How does the speaker's experience with the girl at Mount Allison University redefine their view on leadership?

The speaker's interaction with the girl, where a simple act of kindness and humor made her feel at home and confident to continue with her education, redefines leadership for the speaker as being about creating positive, memorable moments for others, rather than grand gestures or world-changing actions.

Why does the speaker feel that acknowledging 'lollipop moments' is important?

The speaker believes acknowledging 'lollipop moments' is important because it helps individuals recognize and value the impact they have on others, fostering a culture of gratitude and mutual appreciation, which can lead to a more positive and supportive community.

What does the speaker suggest as an alternative to the traditional view of leadership?

The speaker suggests redefining leadership to be about creating, acknowledging, paying forward, and thanking others for 'lollipop moments,' which are small acts that significantly impact others' lives.

What is the role of memory in the story shared by the girl at Mount Allison University?

Memory plays a crucial role in the story as the girl recalls a specific incident from four years prior that had a lasting impact on her, while the speaker has no recollection of the event, highlighting the difference in how people remember and are affected by seemingly small interactions.

How does the speaker use the concept of 'lollipop moments' to encourage the audience?

The speaker uses the concept of 'lollipop moments' to encourage the audience to recognize their own potential to positively influence others through everyday actions, and to not underestimate the power of these small acts in shaping someone's life.

What is the speaker's call to action regarding leadership?

The speaker's call to action is for the audience to overcome their fear of being powerful and influential in others' lives, to redefine leadership in terms of creating and acknowledging 'lollipop moments,' and to value these moments more than traditional measures of success like money, power, and titles.

How does the speaker relate the concept of 'lollipop moments' to changing the world?

The speaker relates 'lollipop moments' to changing the world by suggesting that if each person can change one person's understanding of their potential and the world, collectively, this can lead to a profound transformation in society as a whole.

What lesson does the speaker draw from the story of the girl and the guy she later married?

The speaker draws the lesson that sometimes the most significant impacts we have on others' lives are not grand gestures but small, everyday acts that can lead to lasting connections and positive change, as evidenced by the girl's decision to stay at university and later marry the guy she met there.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 The Power of Everyday Leadership

The speaker begins by questioning the audience's comfort with identifying themselves as leaders, noting a common reluctance. They reflect on how society has elevated leadership to a status that seems unattainable, often associated with world-changing actions, which can discourage individuals from recognizing their own leadership in everyday situations. The speaker shares a personal journey of redefining leadership, starting with a story from Mount Allison University. A student recounts how the speaker unknowingly influenced her decision to stay at university by creating a light-hearted, welcoming moment with lollipops and humor. This interaction, which the speaker doesn't remember, had a profound impact on the student's life, illustrating the concept of 'lollipop moments'—small acts that significantly affect others. The speaker encourages the audience to recognize and appreciate these moments, as they are the essence of true leadership.

05:00

💡 Redefining Leadership Through Lollipop Moments

In the second paragraph, the speaker delves deeper into the concept of 'lollipop moments,' emphasizing the importance of acknowledging the positive impacts we have on others' lives. They reference Marianne Williamson's quote about our greatest fear being our own power, calling for an overcoming of this fear to fully embrace our potential to influence others positively. The speaker suggests that leadership should be redefined around creating, acknowledging, and paying forward these 'lollipop moments.' They argue that by focusing on these small but significant acts, we can change the world one person's perspective at a time. The speaker concludes by encouraging the audience to redefine leadership in this way, to value the impact we have on each other more than traditional measures of success like money, power, and titles.

Keywords

💡Leadership

Leadership in the context of this video is not just about holding a position of authority but about influencing others positively through one's actions and behaviors. The speaker challenges the traditional view that leadership is something grand and unattainable, instead suggesting it can be as simple as making someone feel comfortable or changing their perspective in a moment of doubt.

💡Arrogance

Arrogance is portrayed as a barrier that prevents individuals from recognizing their own leadership qualities. The speaker mentions that people often associate claiming leadership with a level of arrogance or cockiness, which they find uncomfortable, thus they hesitate to acknowledge their own leadership moments.

💡Cockiness

Similar to arrogance, cockiness is presented as an attitude that individuals fear adopting when they consider themselves as leaders. It is used to describe an overconfidence that people believe they must avoid in order to be humble and relatable.

💡Celebration

The concept of celebration in the video is about acknowledging and appreciating the positive impacts one has on others. The speaker points out that society often celebrates large, extraordinary achievements but neglects to recognize the smaller, everyday acts of leadership that can be just as impactful.

💡Devalue

To devalue refers to the act of considering something as less important or worthy. In the script, the speaker talks about how focusing on grand achievements can lead to devaluing the smaller, everyday acts of leadership that individuals perform.

💡Lollipop Moment

A 'lollipop moment' is a term coined in the video to describe a seemingly insignificant act that has a profound impact on someone's life. The speaker uses this term to illustrate how simple gestures can serve as catalysts for change and affirmation in someone's life, as exemplified by the story of the girl at the university.

💡Catalyst

A catalyst in this context is a person or event that triggers a significant change or action. The video emphasizes that every individual has the potential to be a catalyst for positive change in someone else's life through their actions, even if they are not consciously aware of it.

💡Power

Power, as discussed in the video, is the potential influence one has over others. The speaker argues against the fear of recognizing this power, encouraging the audience to embrace their capacity to positively impact others' lives.

💡Fear

Fear is presented as a hindrance to recognizing and embracing one's leadership abilities. The video suggests that people's greatest fear is not their inadequacy but their immense power to influence others, which they often suppress due to this fear.

💡Influence

Influence is the capacity to affect the character, development, or behavior of someone or something. The speaker uses the term to emphasize the importance of recognizing the impact one can have on others, which is a key aspect of leadership.

💡Acknowledgment

Acknowledgment in the video refers to the act of recognizing and expressing gratitude for the positive impact one has had on another person. The speaker encourages the audience to acknowledge these 'lollipop moments' and express thanks to those who have positively influenced their lives.

Highlights

The speaker discusses the discomfort many people feel when identifying themselves as leaders.

Leadership is often perceived as something grand and beyond ordinary individuals.

The fear of arrogance or cockiness prevents people from acknowledging their leadership abilities.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing and celebrating everyday acts of leadership.

The story of a student's first day at Mount Allison University illustrates the impact of a seemingly small act.

The student's fear and the support from her parents are detailed to set the scene for the story.

The encounter with the speaker, who was promoting a charity, changed the student's decision to stay at university.

The humorous interaction involving a lollipop and a stranger had a profound effect on the student's life.

The speaker's lack of memory of the event highlights the power of small, unintentional acts.

The concept of a 'lollipop moment' is introduced as a pivotal point in someone's life.

The speaker encourages the audience to recognize and acknowledge their own 'lollipop moments'.

The idea that leadership is not just about grand gestures but also about small, impactful actions is presented.

The speaker calls for a redefinition of leadership to include the everyday positive impacts we have on others.

The importance of valuing personal impact over traditional measures of success like money and power is discussed.

The speaker uses the quote from Marianne Williamson to emphasize our fear of our own power.

A call to action is made for the audience to embrace their potential to positively influence others' lives.

The speech concludes with a message of hope and a challenge to redefine leadership in a more personal and impactful way.

Transcripts

[Music]

how many of you are completely

comfortable with calling yourselves a

leader see I've asked that question all

the way across the country and

everywhere I ask it no matter where

there's always a huge portion of the

audience that won't put up their hand

and I've come to realize that we have

made leadership into something bigger

than us we made it into something Beyond

us we made it about changing the world

and we've taken this title of leader and

we treat it as if it's something that

one day we're going to deserve but to

give it to ourselves right now means a

level of arrogance or Cockiness that

we're not comfortable with and I worry

sometimes that we spend so much time

celebrating amazing things that hardly

anybody can do that we convinced

ourselves that those are the only things

we're celebrating and we start to

devalue the things that we can do every

day and we start to take moments where

we truly are a leader and we don't let

ourselves take for it and we don't let

ourselves feel good about it and I've

been lucky enough over the last 10 years

to work with some amazing people who

have helped me redefine leadership in a

way that I think has made me happier and

with my short time today I just want to

share with you the one story that is

probably most responsible for that

redefinition I went to a school on a

little school called Mount Allison

University in Sackville New Brunswick

and on my last day there a girl came up

to me and she said I remember the first

time that I met you and then she told me

a story that happened four years earlier

she said on my day before before I

started University I was in the hotel

room with my mom and my dad and I was so

scared and so convinced that I couldn't

do this that I wasn't ready for

University that I just burst into tears

and my mom and my dad were amazing they

were like look we know you're scared but

let's just go tomorrow let's go to the

first day and if at any point you feel

as if you can't do this that's fine just

tell us we will take you home we love

you no matter what and she says so I

went the next day and I was standing in

line getting ready for registration and

I looked around and I just knew I

couldn't do it I knew I wasn't ready I

knew I had to quit and she says I made

that decision and as soon as I made it

there was this incredible feeling of

peace that came over me and I turned to

my mom and my dad to tell them that we

needed to go home and just at that

moment you came out of the Student Union

building wearing the stupidest hat I

have ever seen in my life it was awesome

and you had a big sign uh promoting sh

REM which is students fighting cystic

fibrosis a charity I've worked with for

years and you had a bucket full of

lollipops and you were walking along and

you were handing the lollipops out to

people in line and talking about shama

and all of a sudden you got to me and

you just stopped and you stared it was

creepy this girl right here knows

exactly what I'm talking about and then

you looked at the guy next to me and you

smiled and you reached in your bucket

you pulled out a lollipop and you held

it out to him and you said you need to

give a lollipop to the beautiful woman

standing next to you and she said I have

never seen anyone get more embarrassed

faster in my life he turned beat red he

wouldn't even look at me he just kind of

held the lollipop out like

this and I felt so bad for this dude

that I took the lollipop and as soon as

I did you got this incredibly severe

look on your face and you looked at my

mom and my dad and you said look at that

look at that first day away from home

and already she's taking candy from a

stranger and she said everybody lost it

20 ft in every direction everyone

started to howl and I know this is

cheesy and I don't know why I'm telling

you this but in that moment when

everyone was laughing I knew that I

shouldn't quit I knew that I was where I

was supposed to be and I knew that I was

home and I haven't spoken to you once in

the four years since that day but I

heard that you were leaving and I had to

come up and tell you that youve been in

incredibly important person in my life

and I'm going to miss you good luck and

she walks away and I'm flattened and she

gets about 6 feet away she turns around

and smiles and goes you should probably

know this too I'm still dating that guy

four years

later a year and a half after I moved to

Toronto I got an invitation to their

wedding here's the kicker I don't

remember that I have no recollection of

that moment and I've searched my memory

banks because that is funny and I should

remember doing it and I don't remember

it and that was such an eye openening

transformative moment for me to think

that the maybe the biggest impact I'd

ever had on anyone's life a moment that

had a a woman walk up to a stranger four

years later and say you've been an

incredibly important person in my life

was a moment that I didn't even remember

how many of you guys have a lollipop

moment a moment where someone said

something or did something that you feel

fundamentally made your life

better all right how many of you have

told that person they did

it see why not we celebrate birthdays

where all you have to do is not die for

365

days and yet we we let people who have

made our lives better walk around

without knowing it and every single one

of you every single one of you has been

the Catalyst for a lollipop moment you

have made someone's life better by

something that you said or that you did

and if you think you haven't think about

all the hands that didn't go back up

when I asked that question you're just

one of the people who hasn't been told

but it is so scary to think of ourselves

as that powerful it can be frightening

to think that we can matter that much to

other people because as long as we make

leadership something bigger than us as

long as we keep leadership something

Beyond us as long as we make it about

changing the world we give ourselves an

excuse not to expect it every day from

ourselves and from each other Maryann

Williamson said our greatest fear is not

that we are inadequate our greatest fear

is that we are powerful beyond measure

it is our light and not our darkness

that frightens us and my call to action

today is that we need to get over that

we need to get over our fear of how

extraordinarily powerful we can be in

each other's lives we need to get over

it so we can move Beyond it and our

little brothers and our little sisters

and one day our kids or our kids right

now can watch us start to Value the

impact we can have on each other's lives

more than money and power and titles and

influence we need to we Define

leadership as being about lollipop

moments how many of them we create how

many of them we acknowledge how many of

them we pay forward and how many of them

we say thank you for because we've made

leadership about changing the world and

there is no world there's only six

billion understandings of it and if you

change one person's understanding of it

one person's understanding of what

they're capable of one person's

understanding of how much people care

about them one person's understanding of

how powerful and agent for change they

can be in this world you change the

whole thing and if we can change

understand leadership like that I think

if we can redefine leadership like that

I think we can change everything and

it's a simple idea but I don't think

it's a small one and I want to thank you

all so much for letting me share it with

you today