How to lead your woman: lessons from the front

Summary

Dr. Orion terban discusses the art of leading in a sexual relationship with confidence and respect. He emphasizes the importance of male competence and understanding one's partner to effectively lead without resorting to authority-based demands. Drawing military analogies, he advises men to become leaders worth following, avoid 'pulling rank,' and to issue commands that are both feasible and timely, fostering a relationship built on mutual growth and respect.

Takeaways

• 🚀 Men should lead their relationships with confidence and respect, based on competence rather than authority.
• 💡 Women may find it challenging to follow a man's lead due to societal misconceptions about submission to male authority.
• 🌟 Men must strive to be more competent than their partners to justify their leadership role in the relationship.
• 🏆 The best leaders are those who are worth following, and this drives self-improvement and merit-based leadership.
• 🛑 Avoid 'pulling rank' in relationships, as it can lead to resentment and a lack of genuine loyalty or respect.
• 🤔 Men should not insist on leadership based solely on gender but should provide reasons for their leadership that are beneficial to the relationship.
• 📚 Understanding the audience is crucial; leaders must know the capabilities and limitations of those they are leading.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Men should act as good coaches, encouraging their partners to grow and succeed without overstepping their abilities.
• 🚫 Never give an order that cannot be followed or will not be obeyed, as this undermines the leader's credibility and respect.
• 🛡️ Good leaders know when to push and when to give rest and rewards, avoiding power struggles that degrade the relationship.
• 🔍 The selection of a partner is key to a successful relationship; finding someone who naturally aligns with your desires is more effective than trying to change them.

Q & A

What is the main topic of Dr. Orion terban's talk?

The main topic of Dr. Orion terban's talk is how to lead a woman in a sexual relationship based on his personal and professional experience.

Why does Dr. terban believe that men should be more competent than women in a relationship?

Dr. terban believes that men should be more competent to justify their leadership in a relationship, as it sets a standard for self-improvement and provides a legitimate basis for leadership.

What does Dr. terban consider as the equivalent of 'pulling rank' in sexual relationships?

In sexual relationships, the equivalent of 'pulling rank' is insisting that women should follow men just because they are men, which Dr. terban argues is not a valid reason for obedience.

What is the importance of understanding one's audience according to the military context mentioned by Dr. terban?

Understanding one's audience in a military context is crucial to never give an order that cannot or will not be obeyed, ensuring effective leadership and avoiding unnecessary conflict.

How does Dr. terban suggest men should approach leading their women without resorting to 'pulling rank'?

Dr. terban suggests that men should become men worth following by being competent and understanding their partner's abilities and circumstances, thus earning their loyalty and cooperation.

What is the title of Dr. terban's book, and what does it cover?

The title of Dr. terban's book is 'The Value of Others.' It delves into his economic model of relationships, explains the behavior of men and women in mating and dating, and provides actionable advice on getting and keeping more of what one wants in the sexual marketplace.

What does Dr. terban mean by 'a good order must be within the realm of possibility'?

Dr. terban means that when giving orders or making requests, one must consider the abilities and circumstances of the person involved to ensure that the order is achievable and reasonable.

Why does Dr. terban advise against getting into a power struggle with a woman in a romantic relationship?

Dr. terban advises against power struggles because unlike in a military context, there is no capacity to execute punishment in a consensual romantic relationship, and resorting to emotional manipulation can degrade the relationship's quality.

What is the key to finding a successful relationship according to Dr. terban's perspective in his book?

According to Dr. terban, the key to a successful relationship is selection—finding a partner who enthusiastically wants to do what you want them to do, which may require improving one's own value proposition.

How can one benefit from Dr. terban's advice on leading women in relationships?

One can benefit from Dr. terban's advice by understanding the importance of competence and empathy in leadership, learning to give orders that are reasonable and achievable, and ultimately fostering a relationship based on mutual respect and understanding.