3 Tactics for Confident Stakeholder Management in UX

Summary

The video transcript discusses overcoming communication and confidence barriers in professional settings. It emphasizes the irrational fear of rejection and the importance of recognizing one's value within a team. The speaker suggests practical tools for boosting confidence, such as stepping aside to observe oneself objectively, asking informed questions to engage with others, and thorough preparation for meetings. These strategies are aimed at fostering a proactive approach and critical thinking, ultimately leading to increased confidence and effective communication.

Takeaways

• 🙌 Overcoming social pressures and fears, such as rejection and looking unintelligent, is crucial for confidence in communication.
• 🔑 Recognizing one's value and the reason for being part of a team can alleviate the fear of rejection and ostracization.
• 💡 The importance of professional contribution and preparation in building trust and a sense of belonging within a community.
• 🧘‍♂️ The concept of 'chattering' as a mental obstacle that can be overcome by learning to switch off and focus on the present.
• 📚 The recommendation of the book 'Chatter' as a toolkit for managing internal dialogues and achieving mental clarity.
• 🤔 The power of stepping aside and observing oneself from a third-person perspective to enhance critical thinking and confidence.
• 🤷‍♂️ The practice of dissociating from one's emotions during a situation to make better, more objective decisions.
• ❓ Encouraging the act of asking questions as a means to engage, contribute, and appear confident without needing to dominate the conversation.
• 🚫 A reminder to avoid 'lazy' questions and to come prepared with informed inquiries to foster meaningful dialogue.
• 📝 The significance of preparation in meetings and discussions to ensure one has something valuable to contribute and to build confidence.
• 🏆 The idea of a 'winner effect' where small victories accumulate to increase overall confidence and the ability to tackle bigger challenges.

Q & A

What is the primary challenge faced by the senior in the script regarding their communication skills?

The primary challenge is the lack of confidence in their communication and positioning skills, particularly in approaching stakeholders and feeling perceived as adding less value than they actually do.

What are some of the fears that could be holding someone back from being confident in their messaging?

Fears such as rejection, looking stupid, being ostracized or shunned away from the community or team, and the fear of not being taken seriously can hold someone back.

Why is it important to recognize that the fear of rejection is irrational in a professional setting?

It's important because you are likely there for a reason and have already earned trust. Being part of a community means that rejection or shunning is unlikely unless there is a significant and consistent lack of contribution or professionalism.

What is the book 'Chatter' about and how does it relate to confidence?

'Chatter' is about the internal dialogue that can keep people from switching off at night, filled with anxiety and self-limiting thoughts. It relates to confidence by suggesting that being able to quiet this internal chatter can help one become more confident.

How does observing oneself from a third-person perspective help in building confidence?

Observing oneself from a third-person perspective allows for dissociation from the immediate feelings of anxiety or self-doubt, enabling a more objective view of the situation and one's role within it, which can lead to better decision-making and increased confidence.

What is the significance of asking questions in improving one's confidence in a professional setting?

Asking questions is a way to engage with others and contribute to discussions without having to make bold statements. It invites others to include you in the conversation and can help you appear more confident and involved.

Why is it important to avoid being lazy when asking questions?

Avoiding laziness in asking questions ensures that the questions are informed and meaningful, which can lead to more respect from others and a more productive exchange of ideas.

What is the role of preparation in building confidence for meetings or discussions?

Preparation helps you come to meetings with a clear understanding of the agenda and potential discussion points, making you feel more grounded, composed, and ready to contribute effectively.

How can the practice of dissociation improve critical thinking in UX design or product management?

Dissociation allows for reflection on past experiences from an objective standpoint, which can help in extracting lessons and making better decisions in the future, thus improving critical thinking.

What is the 'winner effect' mentioned in the script and how does it relate to building confidence?

The 'winner effect' refers to the accumulation of small successes that lead to increased confidence. As you experience more wins, you become more confident and better equipped to tackle bigger challenges.

What book is recommended in the script for understanding how small things add up to build confidence?

The book recommended is 'The Winner Effect' by Ian Robertson, which discusses how small successes can accumulate to build confidence and improve performance.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Overcoming Insecurities in Communication

The first paragraph addresses the issue of confidence in communication skills, particularly within a professional setting such as stakeholder interactions. It discusses the fear of rejection and the psychological barriers that prevent individuals from being effective in their messaging. The speaker suggests that recognizing one's value and the community's trust in them can alleviate these fears. The paragraph introduces the concept of 'tools' to help individuals become more proactive and confident, starting with the ability to step aside and observe oneself from a third-person perspective, which can lead to better decision-making and reduce anxiety.

05:01

📚 The Power of Asking Questions and Preparation

The second paragraph focuses on the importance of asking questions as a means to engage and contribute in discussions, even when feeling unsure or less confident. It emphasizes that questions should be thoughtful and not the result of laziness, as doing the necessary research beforehand can boost confidence. The speaker also highlights the significance of preparation, suggesting that coming to meetings with an agenda or well-researched questions can enhance one's ability to contribute meaningfully. The paragraph concludes by encouraging the practice of these techniques to build a 'winner effect,' which can accumulate over time and lead to increased confidence in various professional scenarios.

Keywords

💡Communication Skills

Communication skills refer to the ability to effectively convey information, ideas, feelings, and emotions to others. In the video's context, the senior's lack of confidence in their communication skills is a barrier to effectively approaching stakeholders and delivering their message. The script discusses the importance of overcoming this fear to be perceived as a valuable contributor.

💡Positioning Skills

Positioning skills are the techniques used to present oneself or a product in the best possible light to a target audience. The script mentions that the senior struggles with how they approach stakeholders, suggesting that improving their positioning skills could enhance their perceived value and confidence.

💡Stakeholders

Stakeholders are individuals or groups that have an interest or a stake in a project or business. The video script discusses the importance of effectively approaching and communicating with stakeholders, as they are essential for the success of many endeavors.

💡Fear of Rejection

Fear of rejection is an emotional response to the possibility of being turned down or dismissed by others. The script identifies this fear as a significant barrier to confidence, suggesting that overcoming it is crucial for personal and professional growth.

💡Perceived Value

Perceived value is the worth or usefulness that others attribute to a person or product. In the script, the senior feels they are perceived as adding less value than they actually do, indicating a need to improve how they present themselves and their contributions.

💡Chatter

Chatter, in the context of the video, refers to the internal dialogue or mental noise that can distract or undermine one's confidence. The script mentions a book titled 'Chatter' that addresses how to manage this internal noise to improve confidence and decision-making.

💡Observing Oneself

Observing oneself involves stepping back and viewing one's actions and thoughts from an outsider's perspective. The script suggests that this ability is crucial for developing critical thinking and increasing confidence by reflecting on past experiences and improving future actions.

💡Third-Person Perspective

A third-person perspective is a way of considering a situation as if one is observing it from outside oneself. The video script recommends using this perspective to dissociate from immediate feelings and to gain a more objective view of one's performance and interactions.

💡Asking Questions

Asking questions is a method of engaging with others and seeking information or clarification. The script emphasizes the importance of asking questions to contribute to discussions, even if one feels unsure, as it can invite further dialogue and demonstrate a willingness to learn and participate.

💡Preparation

Preparation involves the act of getting ready for an event or task. The video script highlights the significance of being prepared, such as by having an agenda or doing research, to contribute effectively and confidently in meetings and other professional settings.

💡Situational Awareness

Situational awareness is the ability to perceive and understand the environment and events around you. The script suggests that developing situational awareness can lead to greater confidence, as it allows for more informed contributions and better decision-making in various contexts.

💡Critical Thinking

Critical thinking is the process of analyzing and evaluating information to form a judgment. The video script connects critical thinking with the ability to reflect on past experiences and extract lessons, which is essential for improving one's approach and building confidence.

💡Winner Effect

The winner effect is a psychological phenomenon where success in one area can lead to increased confidence and success in other areas. The script references the 'Winner Effect' book by Ian Robertson to illustrate how small victories can accumulate and lead to greater confidence over time.

Highlights

The importance of overcoming social pressure and fear of rejection to improve communication and positioning skills.

Recognizing the irrationality of fear and the likelihood of already having trust within a community.

The concept of 'winner effect' and how small victories accumulate to build confidence.

The ability to step aside and observe oneself as a method to combat negative self-talk and increase confidence.

The recommendation of the book 'Chatter' as a toolkit for managing intrusive thoughts.

The practice of dissociating oneself from a situation to improve decision-making and reduce anxiety.

The psychological benefits of observing oneself from a third-person perspective.

The value of asking questions as a means to engage and contribute in discussions.

The distinction between 'stupid' and 'lazy' questions and the importance of being informed before asking.

The necessity of preparation before meetings or discussions to enhance confidence and contribution.

The role of an agenda in structuring meetings and facilitating contributions from participants.

The idea that confidence builds with practice and the accumulation of small successes.

The impact of situational awareness and critical thinking on engaging with stakeholders.

The encouragement to share useful insights with others to foster a supportive community.

The emphasis on the practical application of the discussed tools to improve UX and stakeholder interactions.

The reminder that confidence in professional settings is built over time through consistent effort and contribution.

Transcripts

just the other day I was advising the

senior who was still not confident in

their communication skills their

positioning skills how they approach

stakeholders in their words they weren't

really effective and confident in their

messaging or they felt like they're

perceived as lesser value add than they

really were and the challenge here is

obviously small but also very large for

one it's just because of a social

pressure just because of something which

we've dealt for Millennia something

which is really fear of rejection fear

of looking stupid fear of being

ostracized or shunned away from the

community from the team thinking that

maybe you're going to appear not good

enough not going to be taken seriously

but ultimately it's going to be that

fear of rejection right that's probably

a preface to the tools because you kind

of need to realize that it's ridiculous

cuz likely you're there for a reason

because you as a ux because we needed

that specific help already have way more

trust than any other person you're

already part of a community you're never

going to be shunned away or rejected or

lose your position in fact it would take

you so long to lose trust it's never

just sharply cut and it's done and

you're gone it takes a lot of effort

especially if you keep things

professional if you contribute value if

you actually come prepared and do ux as

you're supposed to do and the rest is

really the social variables which you

need need to prepare and it's really

important prease because the tools are

going to make you proactive but what you

need to sort out is also the underlying

thinking they're very simple but they're

really hacking your own system and your

own thinking so that you can make better

decisions and just feel more confident

and then let snowball ultimately because

these values develop over time the more

confident you act the more you stress

the variable surround you the more you

understand that you can act even more

confident within means

obviously so tool number one its ability

to step aside for example I read this

book an amazing book you should pick it

up called chatter I read it for

different reasons the book itself is

basically a toolkit and a lot of use

cases and a lot of stories of people not

being able to switch off at night

because we all have those days when you

just have a lot of chatter in your head

and you just can't off or it haunts you

you go by your day and that war conflict

or drama or some sort of inefficiency

just chase you and you cannot shake it

off happens to all of us right that book

is about that you might ask well what

does that have to do with confidence

ability to shake off the chatter or that

second voice which is haunting you about

something and you just don't want to

think about it but just comes back is

exactly the same tool which you can

apply to become confident because the

voice could be angry anxious could be

self-limiting that Voice keeps you where

you at less confident maybe less

creative because you're thinking about

BS and things which you shouldn't be

thinking about and cannot open your mind

and ultimately that tool is ability to

observe yourself from aside this is

super important as well for critical

thinking development in ux for designers

product managers you name it you need to

be able to reflect on the past

experiences and extract yourself which

is always you know hindsight is 2020

that's easy you know if you reflect

review your past experiences every day

you can correct course and do better

next time but the more you do this the

better you get in situe so if you're

less confident in let's say a forum a

meeting a call you need to dissociate

yourself and look at the situation from

aside and how you do that practically is

really think about yourself in a third

person perspective and think less about

how you feel right now how anxious you

are observe the actual team observe

yourself within a team that's the

easiest way for you to become

immediately confident or stop the

chatter anxiety things of that nature

there is a lot of psychological elements

to it I'm not even going to cover that

that's not my forte but what I can give

you is really what works and is really

to be able to dissociate yourself from

the situation so you can make better

decisions I already covered that in

other videos about how to give yourself

advice let's say if you are stuck or

overwhelmed or things of that nature it

works exactly the same way you can pull

yourself back and tell yourself like you

are a third person to do better or to do

some other things minus the all the

variables and the noise and surrounding

clouds of uh signals which might

overwhelm you so that's tool number one

you need to start practicing that

because it's going to make you more

effective designer in situations which

require confidence that's usually

stakeholder workshops interviews Perhaps

Perhaps team meetings perhaps some sort

of ideations things of that nature you

name it but that's ultimately a start of

that and a big one is asking questions

this is like a no-brainer and you

probably heard about this before that if

you're unsure how to contribute and if

you feel like you are bored or maybe

losing attention or you don't feel like

you can contribute to some value well

you can ask questions you should ask

actually stupid questions to correct

myself why stupid because that's how you

invite others to invite you to

contribute you don't have to be Brash or

bold you don't have to make a statement

which might flutter with feathers you

can actually engage with other people

like a human being and ask them to

explain something or ask them why is

that or ask them where are you coming

from or asking for some sort of

information so that the exchange starts

not speaking up or being quiet also

could appear like it's confident but

chances are you want to speak up you

want to contribute that's why you're

chasing confidence in ux but the

principle statement here is also that

your stupid questions shouldn't be lazy

and you might have heard the statement

stupid not lazy lazy is a question you

have shooting from the hip something you

could find the answer to yourself this

is like the key if you can find the

answer somewhere else or read something

up before the session great you're going

to fear more confident immediately if

you can avoid being lazy in any other

way Google something research something

quickly spend five minutes and know just

a bit more so that your stupid questions

are more informed or you could find some

information which can build up upon and

get more information from other people

you're immediately going to engage and

have more respect because it's not just

about asking it's not just about you

know screaming or shouting or kind of

saying hey I have something to

contribute to it has to be meaningful

and as such as long as you're not lazy

you can be stupid you can appear that

way and what I would love for people to

do obviously is to find the answer

themselves or at least get to the answer

close enough so that we can have

situations we can have context we can

have variables and say this or that and

then you can say maybe that now in work

situations in meetings and forums in

ideation sections workshops this comes

invaluable because if you know that your

tool number two is going to be to ask

questions you can then prepare better

questions or come prepare to the meeting

which is tool number

three preparation is going to be key I

don't want to be redundant now with this

tool because I already explained that

you shouldn't be lazy and you should

come with something or try to find your

answers before you ask those questions

but generally speaking even if you don't

come with questions maybe it's a meeting

which doesn't really require your

contribution you still should come

prepared you still should seek an agenda

you should call out and ask people

arranging the meeting what's going to be

on a menu if it's your meeting you

should create an agenda and say this is

the things I want to discuss in it and

maybe share it on slack or maybe share

it as part of invite but that's also

builds confidence because you don't have

to flutter or bounce like a pingpong

ball across a room trying to find

something to contribute or try to find

somehow to engage especially if you feel

less confident or shy and as you prepare

you're going to have more data points

more signals more of the things which is

going to again make you more

situationally Savvy aware you're going

to be more grounded composed you're

going to have something again to

contribute but the practice is going to

be key you're not going to be confident

immediately but the more you do the more

your winner effect which is also a great

book by Ian Robertson how small things

add up and accumulate and the more you

win the more confident you are let's say

the more confident you're going to be

and you're are going to be able to

tackle bigger and bigger and more

uncertain challenges in the end and

you're going to become more and more

confident in the situational awareness

critical thinking how you engage with

stakeholders and things of that nature

and as usual I hope this is useful if so

share it with a friend and on that note

I'll see you next time