Why Discipline Must Come From Within - Jocko Willink
Summary
TLDRIn this podcast transcript, the speaker addresses a listener's concern about lacking discipline due to being raised in an undisciplined environment. The speaker emphasizes that discipline is an internal quality that one must develop independently, regardless of upbringing. They stress the importance of taking ownership of one's actions and decisions, and highlight that discipline is a choice that leads to freedom and improved life outcomes. The discussion encourages self-reflection and personal responsibility for change.
Takeaways
- 👶 The speaker acknowledges the challenge of developing discipline when raised in an undisciplined environment but emphasizes that discipline must come from within oneself, not from external sources.
- 🔑 The concept of self-discipline is highlighted as crucial, suggesting that discipline is not inherited or taught by others but must be actively developed by the individual.
- 👨👧👦 The speaker admits to not discussing the issue of coming from an undisciplined family before, but clarifies that discipline is a personal choice and not something bestowed by family or environment.
- 🤔 The importance of taking ownership of one's problems is stressed, as blaming others for a lack of discipline will not lead to its development.
- 💪 The speaker encourages the listener to take action, suggesting that discipline is about doing the things one knows are necessary for personal growth and avoiding those that are detrimental.
- 🏋️♂️ Personal anecdotes are shared to illustrate that discipline is not about external factors like military service or parental influence but about individual choice and commitment.
- 👫 The speaker points out that discipline is not exclusive to any particular background, as people from all walks of life can develop it through their own efforts.
- 🚫 The script warns against relying on others for discipline, as it must be self-imposed and maintained.
- 🌅 The idea of 'getting after it' is presented as the essence of discipline, urging the listener to start their day with purposeful actions that align with their goals.
- 📝 The value of making a list of tasks and responsibilities is mentioned as a practical tool for maintaining discipline and staying focused on one's objectives.
- 🏆 The speaker concludes by reiterating that discipline brings freedom and is worth the effort, urging the listener to recognize its value and take the necessary steps to develop it.
Q & A
What is the main issue the user is addressing in the podcast?
-The user is addressing the issue of lacking discipline due to being raised in an undisciplined environment and the struggle to develop self-discipline.
Why does the speaker believe that discipline cannot be inherited or taught by others?
-The speaker believes that discipline is something intrinsic and must come from within the individual, as it is about self-discipline and personal ownership of one's actions.
What does the speaker suggest is the key to developing discipline?
-The speaker suggests that the key to developing discipline is taking personal responsibility and ownership of one's actions, rather than blaming external factors or people.
How does the speaker describe the relationship between discipline and freedom?
-The speaker describes discipline as the path to freedom, implying that by being disciplined, one can achieve a sense of control and autonomy in their life.
What example does the speaker give to illustrate the point that discipline is a personal choice?
-The speaker gives the example of people from various backgrounds, including those with no parents, drug-addicted parents, or very disciplined parents, who have all become disciplined individuals, showing that discipline is a personal choice.
What does the speaker mean by 'mana' in the context of the podcast?
-In the context of the podcast, 'mana' refers to the idea of offering only words without action or substance, similar to how the speaker feels about advice that is obvious but not practical.
How does the speaker's own upbringing relate to the discussion on discipline?
-The speaker's own upbringing, with parents who were educators but not extraordinary preachers of discipline, serves as an example that discipline is not necessarily taught by parents and must be developed by the individual.
What is the speaker's view on the role of the military in developing discipline?
-The speaker believes that while the military requires discipline, being in the military does not automatically make a person disciplined, and maintaining discipline is up to the individual even after leaving the military.
What advice does the speaker give to someone struggling with discipline?
-The speaker advises to 'get after it,' meaning to take action, wake up early, exercise, eat well, and make a list of things one is supposed to do in life, then commit to doing them.
How does the speaker address the concern about the value of discipline?
-The speaker addresses the concern by emphasizing that once a person recognizes the value of discipline and how it can improve their life, they are more likely to develop the discipline they seek.
What does the speaker suggest as a strategy for overcoming the lack of discipline learned in childhood?
-The speaker suggests that an individual should actively seek out the value of discipline, perhaps through experiences or education, and then make a conscious decision to adopt disciplined behaviors.
Outlines
🚸 Overcoming Undisciplined Upbringing
The speaker acknowledges the challenge of developing self-discipline when coming from an undisciplined family environment. They emphasize that discipline is not inherited but must be cultivated internally. The speaker apologizes for not previously addressing this issue and explains that discipline comes from within, regardless of one's background. They also stress the importance of taking ownership of one's problems rather than blaming others, including parents or society, for a lack of discipline.
🏋️♂️ Discipline is a Personal Choice
This paragraph discusses the misconception that discipline is solely a product of one's upbringing or environment. The speaker argues that discipline is a personal choice and is not guaranteed by external factors such as military service or family background. They advocate for self-motivation and taking action to develop discipline, suggesting practical steps like getting up early, exercising, and making a list of tasks to improve one's life. The speaker also highlights the importance of recognizing the value of discipline and making a conscious decision to pursue it.
💡 Realizing the Value of Discipline
The speaker delves into the concept that understanding the value of discipline is key to its development. They use personal anecdotes and examples to illustrate that discipline is not necessarily taught but can be learned and adopted based on recognizing its benefits. They discuss how people from various backgrounds can develop discipline and how it is essential to take responsibility for one's actions and decisions. The speaker encourages the listener to reflect on the worth of discipline and to take steps towards self-improvement.
🛠️ Taking Responsibility for Self-Discipline
In this paragraph, the speaker stresses the importance of personal responsibility in developing discipline. They argue that one must take charge of their life and make the decision to be disciplined. The speaker provides examples of how people can seek help when needed but ultimately must be the ones to implement changes. They encourage the listener to take action, whether it's repairing credit, seeking counseling, or making healthier lifestyle choices, and to understand that discipline is a personal journey that requires commitment and effort.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Discipline
💡Undisciplined Environment
💡Self-Discipline
💡Ownership
💡Blame
💡Freedom
💡Mana
💡Value
💡Struggle
💡Environment
💡Get After It
Highlights
The importance of self-discipline and the acknowledgment of its absence in some upbringings.
An apology for not previously addressing the issue of coming from an undisciplined family background.
The concept that discipline must come from within and not be reliant on external influences.
The idea that ownership of one's problems is crucial for solving them and developing discipline.
Examples of individuals from various backgrounds who have achieved discipline despite their upbringing.
The speaker's personal experience with discipline, or lack thereof, in his own family.
Contrasting examples of families with disciplined parents and undisciplined children, and vice versa.
The assertion that discipline is not inherited and must be actively chosen by the individual.
The role of the military in fostering discipline and the potential loss of it post-service.
The advice to 'get after it' as a call to action for developing discipline in one's life.
The necessity of doing what one knows is supposed to be done to improve life and avoid detrimental behaviors.
The value of discipline and how it can lead to freedom and a better life.
The significance of recognizing the value of discipline and the need to internalize it for it to be effective.
The discussion on the development of discipline being a personal decision and not dependent on one's environment.
The importance of taking responsibility for one's actions and seeking help when necessary.
The realization that discipline is worth the effort and the need to act on that realization.
The analogy of credit repair as an example of taking responsibility and understanding the value of a disciplined approach.
Transcripts
I saw a weakness in you on your latest podcast you seem to overlook the fact
that some infant children were raised in undisciplined environments with
undisciplined parents they grow up having modeled these undisciplined
examples I hate the fact that I have gross undisciplined behavior solving
this is a major priority in my life you have zero idea of what it of what
this experience is like for me you seem blind to this struggle like a
father who would ignore their child struggle and offer only the words mana
so this is a good question and I I see where this guys coming from for sure and
I know that it can be very very frustrating to try and become
disciplined and I apologize that I haven't talked about the fact of what to
do if you come from an undisciplined family or you have undisciplined parents
I haven't really talked about what to do in that situation but there's a reason
that I haven't talked about that before and that is because you don't get
discipline from your parents you don't get discipline from your parents from
your grandparents from your older brothers and sisters you don't get
discipline from an external source you have to get it from you
that's what self-discipline is you get it from yourself you get it from you so
there's people from every possible background from no parents to crazy
parents to you no drug-addicted parents to super squared away parents and
everywhere in between on that spectrum that are completely disciplined people
more disciplined than anyone I know it doesn't come from your parents you don't
inherit it and there's another piece here
it's called ownership right it's called ownership and if you're if you want to
blame other people for the problem and say this all the time if you don't take
ownership of the problem the problems don't get solved so if you blame your
parents for not having raised you in a disciplined environment you're not gonna
solve that problem you're looking at your parents saying if you would have
done a better job being more disciplined for me I would be more discipline now so
that means that means you can't do anything the fact the matter is it's
wrong you actually can do something and it doesn't matter what do how your
parents raised you and brought you up you can have the discipline you need to
decide to do it so as long as you're blaming other people I mean if you blame
me from not discussing it you blame me for having zero idea what that
experience is like you blame your parents for not raising you this way as
long as you're blaming other people as long as you're counting on other people
to give you discipline as long as you do that you will not have it so again I I'm
sorry I should have made that I should make that more clearly I'm trying to
make it more clearly now and like my parents my parents are are good people
they had successful careers as as educators in public schools and my mom
eventually became went into school administration and my dad taught in high
school for 30-something years and they were good hard-working people and but
I'll tell you they were no they were no extraordinary preachers of discipline
and I'll tell you I act I I never remember either one of them ever using
the term or referring to discipline in any way you know and actually both my
parents worked they both worked a lot my dad was coaching sports and we're
doing after school stuff my mom's same things like we were on our own a bunch
but my parents were gone in the morning we got ourselves to school when we got
home in afternoon they weren't home you know so it wasn't like they were setting
up this rigid disciplined manner for me right and
and you can see this with families many many different families there's families
that have kids that the parents are very disciplined and the kids are wild
mm-hm sometimes that problematically so right kids that come from really good
families but they get addicted to drugs lack of discipline kids that come from
really good families but they they spin out of control and go in the wrong
direction and there's also the opposite which is hey the parents weren't around
or the parents were abusive or the parents were drug addicts and and all
the cousins the kid the kid comes out of that and is squared away is awesome and
we saw that all the time the SEAL Teams and I've said that before on this
program doesn't matter it doesn't matter where your background is is what you
decide to do yeah
and I'll tell you another thing it's not even from the military like the military
requires discipline obviously but there's plenty of people in the military
that don't have it right and and many poor many people lose their discipline
when they leave the mulch because not being imposed on them anymore so I mean
just go look around I mean being in the military does not make you a disciplined
person being from a discipline family does not make you a discipline person
being in a discipline group does not make you a discipline person what makes
you a discipline person is choosing to be disciplined so yeah I I and also as
far as telling people to man up which you know when someone says how do I get
up early every day I say get up early every day how do I stop eating sugar
stop eating sugar look that's the definition of mana but obvious it's not
just men that need discipline in their life I don't think I use that term but
what I do tell people is to get after it that's what I tell people to get after
it you know I tell people to do the things that they know they're supposed
to do right there's things that you know you're supposed to do as a human being
things that you know are going to improve your life do those things
there's things that you know are gonna make you a worse person and make your
life worse don't do those things
do the things that are making you weaker start doing the things that are gonna
make you stronger and smarter and faster and healthier and gonna make you a
better human being and I'll say the same thing to this guy you want to be more
disciplined get after it that's it get up early do some kind of
workout eat good foods clean your room make a list of things that you're
supposed to do in your life and then wake up in the morning and do those
things that you put on the list that's what discipline is and know it is
not easy but you're not gonna get it from anyone else but you and it's worth
it and it is the thing that is going to bring you freedom that's the key word
right there when he said it's worth it you know what I think this is what I
think I think like in an environment as like how he put it an undisciplined
environment I mean or something like that where he grew up in an
undisciplined environment I don't obviously that's a very vague expression
right undisciplined infirm yeah that got meaning that could mean a lot of yeah a
lot of different things so a lot of times like when you're brought up in a
certain environment basically you're kind of taught or or not taught like
like the value of certain things so if you use like I don't know working out or
whatever right so I'm gonna use myself as an example my dad is an athlete you
know not a superior athlete but he was you know he knew like working out was a
part of life and stuff like that and you know in elementary school we're doing
sports and stuff like that you know some people they don't do that at all so and
when they grow up into adulthood the some people straight up have never
worked out before never been in the gym and you know so growing up there they
were never taught the value of what work you know does for you they never taught
so they can't appreciate it they just simply don't know the value sure they
see people with you know you know they're in shape where they can do these
things and they're very functional whatever they see that of course but
they don't have that value they don't feel that value they just never learned
so it can come off as like this thing for other people you know like oh that's
what other people do kind of thing so they don't understand the value so back
to the point in their mind this weird the connection is not made that it's
worth it because they don't know the value of it
really but if you do know the value of it and then you can decide okay is this
worth it is it worth it to wake up every day and in quote-unquote get after it
for this particular goal or this particular set of goals so that's what
it is and I think sure the undisciplined environment can maybe provide that but I
think you're right I think that once you're like oh yeah that's worth it yeah
you know how people they'll find reasons when it's worth the even though they've
never experienced like you know like a person who has a heart attack or
something is like and they have kids young kids are some they have a heart
attack life maybe never worked out ever in their life they have a heart attack
they almost died they're like guess what I'm working out every single day I'm a
vegetarian now you know like doing major major changes that they've never even
thought about making and they'll do it because they decided it's worth it and
they'll be disciplined they'll find that discipline real quick no matter how
they're trained as you know their environment in there because now I see
that it's gonna be worth it that's it yeah and if if it's not worth it to you
and that I think is what you develop the value of work you know the value of you
develop you can develop that from anywhere that's one of that's but
essentially that has really developed that from any any you can develop that
from from anywhere yeah yeah you can get it from a parent you can get it from
yeah exactly right exactly right but the discipline itself just like I said
that's gonna come from you your parents can teach it but guess who has to you
still you it's still you and you can go to the military to specifically learn
discipline when you leave it's on you who's it yeah exactly right and just
like I said like yeah I know people who are done with the military and are glad
they're done with that right they're glad with this waking up early they're
they're a baby they were six months they're out of shape they're not doing
anything productive it's it's horrible to see you know but it happens happens
with the military it happens with anything yeah when kids get out of high
school sports you know and all of a sudden they don't want enough to do that
I don't have to listen to coach yeah yeah crazy - don't listen to coach
listen to yourself yourself yeah determine whether or not it's worth it
and I'm telling you that you don't need to determine I'm telling you it's worth
it oh yeah I'm telling you it is working and you know what you actually know it's
worth it that's why you're asking this question you know it's worth it you know
it's worth it to have discipline but you think there's an easier way you think
that it's something that people have you think that when Jacko's alarm clock goes
off it's like oh just like my father taught me
I rise and I shine you know like no I it's like the pillow feels soft and
comfortable and the alarm clock is banging on my head and I don't like it
you know what I know it's worth it to get up and get after it I know it's
worth it and you know it's worth it here's the thing though we all know it's
worth it is it in a way you're right but like really though really I'm gonna be
open and honest with you I don't think that the people know it's worth it I
think they know it's worth it like the kind on paper they have a multiple
choice question is it worth it yes or no they'll be like yes obviously I know
working out is worth it but here's the thing
I don't if you don't know if you don't like like having good credit for example
so I never got taught like why really my mom said yeah you should have good
credit that's it that's the limit to my education on credit right so of course I
blow it because they get you know I fall for literally all the tricks it's
self-inflicted and otherwise credit gets jammed up so I don't know I don't know
the value I don't know I have never experienced the benefits of having good
girl you of good credit so it really didn't mean much to me really my credit
was like junk and I didn't care until I got denied for something that I cared
you know but just like if you're never into working out until you're in a
specific situation what show but but but like this guy that's asking this
question and glad he's asking a question I'm I'm not I'm trying I'm not trying to
come off all hard but he realizes he realizes the value of discipline cuz
he's saying that he wants it right he knows that it's gonna make his life
better yeah and and that's why I think he's got
and jammed up in whatever way we don't know cuz I don't know maybe he's gotten
unhealthy maybe he's you know who knows maybe he's gotten his finances jammed up
whatever the case may be he knows that discipline is better for
them him he knows that he does know this isn't a guy that doesn't know yet cuz
sure there's people that don't you know when you're 16 years old you don't know
the value of discipline you don't know that the what your the way you're acting
right now is gonna affect you in five years you don't know you can set
yourself your whole life up to be pretty awesome you know you don't know that yet
you're just like worried about where you're going on a Friday night right
yeah so this guy knows and he wants it and he's looking for where he can find
it and where he can find it is in the mirror yeah that's where it is you know
so do it brother good luck get on the path and stay on the path
yeah and that's gonna be beneficial when you do that I've harshly maintaining
that like not knowing that value is a big is a big thing it's kind of like
okay so back to my credit thing I there is a point at the end where okay so you
know like I don't know 10 years ago or whatever I repaired my credit my credit
was repaired I thought I went through it was painstaking not fun stuff no but I
did it got my credit repaired and now I know the value because as an adult I'm
functioning it's useful now you know so now I know the value of having good
credit because I've been through all the things that having good credit
brings you through you know now I'm thinking I'll never go back to bedrock
right never it's right every single day I'm telling you that I agree with what
you're saying yeah I agree with her you're saying I'm saying that this guy
knows the value and that's why he wants it yeah it's like when you freight
realize that you got denied for something and you were like oh oh credit
has value I understand that something happened in his life where he said
discipline has value I know that now yeah but you did credit repair and in
what you said was okay I need to go out and repair my credit you didn't say hey
you know what my mom didn't tell me about bad credit and now I have bad
credit yeah yeah so now now what am I supposed to do you know who repaired
your credit who repaired your credit well it was a combination of my wife and
I but but who repaired your credit yeah we'd
yes yeah you took responsibility for it and said okay I'm gonna get my credit
card she's smarter than you yes she was like hey I will I will help this but it
was you that said okay I got to get this fixed mm-hmm and you got help but you
knew to reach out for help but you're the one that ultimately is responsible
for it yeah you're right about that like I didn't like I didn't blame my parents
and then continue having that good right no right like they said no I gotta get
Val this is this thing has credit has value I need to fix it yeah and you
fixed it you know regardless where it came from
regardless so oh you know oh you don't know how to work out cool then you go
hire a personal trainer because you know it's gonna it's the right thing to do
you don't even oh you don't know how to repair your finances cool go get a
counselor that's gonna help you repair your finances oh you're addicted to
drugs or alcohol okay I'm gonna go find a counselor or join a group so I can get
through that thing yeah no one's gonna hold your hand and bring you into the
any of those situations you got to do it yourself you got the discipline to make
it happen
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