Effective Listening Skills

rhemaresourcecentre
12 Jun 200903:15

Summary

TLDRThe transcript emphasizes the importance of active listening in communication, debunking the myth that it's merely a passive activity. It outlines key active listening skills: looking at the speaker, inquiring with open questions, summarizing understanding, taking notes, encouraging the speaker with non-verbal cues, and neutralizing personal feelings to stay objective. By practicing these skills, one can build stronger relationships, gain deeper understanding, and learn valuable insights from others.

Takeaways

  • 😢 Listening is often misunderstood as a passive activity, but it's an active process that shows respect and interest in the speaker.
  • πŸ‘€ 'L' in LISTEN stands for 'look', emphasizing the importance of eye contact and engaging with the speaker visually.
  • πŸ€” 'I' for 'inquire' suggests using open-ended questions to show interest and encourage the speaker to share more information.
  • πŸ“ 'S' for 'summarize' highlights the need to frequently restate or paraphrase what has been heard to ensure understanding and clarity.
  • πŸ“ 'T' for 'take notes' advises jotting down key points or using note-taking techniques to capture the essence of the conversation.
  • πŸ™‚ 'E' for 'encourage' involves using non-verbal cues and verbal affirmations to motivate the speaker to continue sharing.
  • 🧘 'N' for 'neutralize' reminds us to stay objective, focusing on the content rather than the delivery style of the speaker.
  • 🀝 Active listening builds relationships by showing value to the speaker and fostering a deeper connection.
  • 🧠 Seeking understanding through active listening not only benefits the speaker but also enriches the listener's knowledge and perspective.
  • πŸ” Listening with an open mind helps in identifying and appreciating the validity and interesting points in the speaker's message, regardless of their delivery.
  • πŸ’‘ The acronym LISTEN serves as a helpful mnemonic for remembering the key components of effective active listening.

Q & A

  • What is the common misconception about listening according to the transcript?

    -The common misconception is that listening is something people do to fill the time when they're not speaking, which is not only wrong but also devalues the person they're talking to.

  • How does not actively listening affect relationships?

    -Not actively listening can show little interest in what the other person is saying, which can lead to a suffering relationship.

  • What does the acronym 'LISTEN' stand for in the context of active listening skills?

    -In the context of active listening, 'LISTEN' stands for Look, Inquire, Summarize, Take notes, Encourage, and Neutralize your feelings.

  • What does 'L' in LISTEN suggest we should do while someone is speaking?

    -'L' stands for 'Look', suggesting that we should look at the person, engage them with good eye contact while they are speaking.

  • What type of questions should we use to show interest according to the 'I' in LISTEN?

    -We should use open probing questions that start with 'what', 'which', 'who', 'why', 'when', and 'how' to show interest and encourage the speaker to open up.

  • What does 'S' in LISTEN mean and how does it help in communication?

    -'S' stands for 'Summarize', which means frequently summarizing your understanding of what the other person is saying to confirm that you've been listening accurately.

  • How can 'T' in LISTEN help us remember key points of a conversation?

    -'T' stands for 'Take notes', suggesting that jotting down key words or using a note technique like mind mapping can help remember what the other person is expressing.

  • What is the purpose of 'E' in LISTEN and how can it be achieved?

    -'E' stands for 'Encourage', which can be achieved by smiling, nodding, and using silence or expressions like 'aha', 'um', or 'yes, go on' to encourage the speaker to share more.

  • What does 'N' in LISTEN advise us to do to improve our listening skills?

    -'N' stands for 'Neutralize your feelings', advising us to stay objective, avoid bias, and focus on the content rather than the delivery style of the speaker.

  • Why is it important to neutralize our feelings while listening according to the transcript?

    -Neutralizing our feelings is important because it allows us to focus on the content of the message, which may be valid and interesting, regardless of the speaker's delivery style.

  • What benefits can we gain from effectively listening to others as described in the transcript?

    -By effectively listening to others, we can value them, build relationships, seek greater understanding, and learn invaluable points from what they have to say.

Outlines

00:00

πŸ‘‚ Active Listening Skills

This paragraph emphasizes the importance of active listening, correcting the misconception that it's merely a passive activity. It introduces the acronym 'LISTEN' to outline key skills: 'L' for looking and maintaining eye contact, 'I' for inquiring with open questions, 'S' for summarizing to show understanding, 'T' for taking notes to capture key points, 'E' for encouraging the speaker with non-verbal cues, and 'N' for neutralizing personal feelings to stay objective. The paragraph suggests that by practicing these skills, one can build stronger relationships and gain a deeper understanding of others' perspectives.

Mindmap

Keywords

πŸ’‘Listening

Listening is the act of paying attention to someone speaking, which is crucial for effective communication. In the video, it is emphasized that true listening involves more than just hearing words; it requires active engagement and interest in the speaker's message. The script argues that failing to listen properly can devalue the speaker and harm relationships.

πŸ’‘Active Listening

Active listening is a communication technique where the listener fully concentrates, understands, responds, and remembers what is being said. The video script uses the acronym 'L' to illustrate the importance of looking at the speaker, inquiring with open questions, summarizing the speaker's points, taking notes, encouraging the speaker, and neutralizing personal feelings to achieve better understanding.

πŸ’‘Eye Contact

Eye contact is the act of looking at someone in the eyes, which is a non-verbal cue that shows attention and engagement. The script mentions 'L for look' to highlight the importance of maintaining eye contact with the person speaking as a part of active listening.

πŸ’‘Inquire

Inquiring refers to the act of asking questions to gain more information or understanding. The script suggests using open-ended questions that start with 'what,' 'which,' 'who,' 'why,' 'when,' and 'how' to show interest and encourage the speaker to elaborate on their points.

πŸ’‘Summarize

Summarizing is the process of condensing information into a brief form. In the context of the video, summarizing is used to confirm understanding by paraphrasing what the speaker has said, which helps in ensuring accurate communication.

πŸ’‘Paraphrase

Paraphrasing is restating someone's words in a different way to clarify or confirm understanding. The script advises using phrases like 'let me just summarize' or 'so what you're saying is' to paraphrase the speaker's message.

πŸ’‘Notes

Taking notes is the act of jotting down important points during a conversation. The script suggests taking notes as a method of active listening, either by noting key words or using a mind map technique to capture the essence of what the speaker is saying.

πŸ’‘Encourage

Encouragement in the context of listening involves using verbal and non-verbal cues to motivate the speaker to continue sharing their thoughts. The script mentions nodding, smiling, and using silence or expressions like 'aha' or 'go on' as ways to encourage the speaker.

πŸ’‘Neutralize

Neutralizing one's feelings means to set aside personal biases and emotions to objectively consider the content of the message. The video emphasizes the importance of focusing on the message rather than the delivery style of the speaker to avoid dismissing valid points.

πŸ’‘Relationships

Relationships refer to the connections between people. The script points out that active listening is essential for building and maintaining healthy relationships, as it shows respect and interest in the other person's perspective.

πŸ’‘Understanding

Understanding is the ability to comprehend the meaning or message conveyed by someone. The video script stresses that active listening leads to a greater understanding of the speaker's points, which is beneficial for both parties involved in the conversation.

Highlights

Listening is often misunderstood as a passive activity to fill time, but it's crucial for valuing the speaker and maintaining healthy relationships.

Active listening involves looking at the speaker, maintaining good eye contact to show engagement.

Inquiring with open-ended questions like 'what', 'which', 'who', 'why', 'when', and 'how' demonstrates interest and encourages the speaker to share more.

Summarizing the speaker's points frequently helps confirm understanding and encourages further discussion.

Using phrases like 'let me summarize' or 'so what you're saying is' to paraphrase and validate the speaker's message.

Taking notes, either key words or a mind map, can aid in active listening and understanding.

Encouraging the speaker with non-verbal cues like smiling, nodding, and using silence to prompt further sharing.

Using affirmative expressions like 'aha', 'um', 'yes', and 'go on' to motivate the speaker to elaborate.

Neutralizing personal feelings and biases to objectively consider the content of the speaker's message.

Avoiding judgment based on the speaker's delivery style, focusing instead on the validity and interest of their content.

Active listening builds relationships by valuing the speaker and seeking to understand their perspective.

Through effective listening, one can gain a deeper understanding and learn invaluable insights from the speaker.

The acronym 'LISTEN' serves as a helpful reminder of the key skills involved in active listening.

Active listening is not just for the benefit of the speaker, but also greatly benefits the listener in understanding and learning.

The importance of not devaluing the speaker by showing interest and actively engaging in the conversation.

The relationship between effective listening and the ability to build rapport and trust.

How active listening can lead to the discovery of interesting points and new knowledge.

The role of active listening in fostering open communication and deeper connections.

Transcripts

play00:01

many people think that listening is

play00:03

something that they do to fill in the

play00:05

time when they're not

play00:06

speaking actually this is not only wrong

play00:10

it actually also devalues the person

play00:12

that they're talking to because by not

play00:14

listening to them you're really showing

play00:16

very little interest in what they're

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having to say and therefore the

play00:19

relationship will suffer as a result

play00:22

take the word listen and just use it as

play00:24

a quick reminder of some of the key

play00:26

skills of active listening L for example

play00:30

stands for look look at the person as

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they're speaking to you engage them with

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good eye contact I stands for inquire

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that is use good open probing questions

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what which who why when and of course

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the good question that starts with how

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to really show interest in the person

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and what they're saying and to ask them

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to open up and tell you

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more s stands for summarize in other

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words what we're really saying here is

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frequently summarize your understanding

play00:59

of what the other the person is saying

play01:01

use words like let me just summarize

play01:03

what I've understood that you've been

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saying or so what you're saying is and

play01:07

use a paraphrase to confirm to the other

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person you've been trying to hear them

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and listen to them

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accurately t means take notes either

play01:18

jotting down one or two key words as the

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other person is saying them or using a

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pattern note technique to build up a

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mind map of what the other person is

play01:26

expressing e means encourage in other

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words words smile nod and use silence to

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encourage them to say more even little

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expressions like aha or M or yes go on

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are helpful ways to encourage the other

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person to open up and say more and

play01:45

finally N means neutralize your feelings

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stay objective avoid bias the person may

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not be very good at delivery but think

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about the content that they're putting

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across to you it may be absolutely valid

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and have a lot of interesting points so

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try and avoid writing people off just

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because perhaps they have a slow or

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monotonous voice and they're not very

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good at expressing themselves by

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effectively listening to people you'll

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not only value them and build

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relationships with them but you will

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also seek greater understanding of what

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they're having to say and you will learn

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invaluable points in the process so it's

play02:22

not only to their benefit it's most

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certainly for

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yours

play02:58

e for

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Related Tags
Active ListeningCommunicationRelationshipsEye ContactProbing QuestionsSummarizeNote-TakingEncouragementNeutralize BiasUnderstandingLearning