Stop delaying yourself

Summary

The video script emphasizes the importance of self-relationship over external relationships for true happiness and fulfillment. It discusses the common misconception that happiness comes from finding someone else to complete us, rather than building a strong connection with oneself. The speaker shares their journey of self-discovery, acknowledging the challenges of self-awareness and the process of unlearning negative self-perceptions. They advocate for the belief that we are not static beings and can evolve daily, encouraging viewers to embrace change and self-acceptance, regardless of their current state or progress in life.

Takeaways

• 💭 The most important relationship is the one with oneself, as it's often neglected in favor of seeking external relationships for happiness and completeness.
• 🔍 Many people feel lost and purposeless because they have not built a strong internal relationship and have focused on external validation instead.
• 🤔 Having a relationship with oneself involves understanding what makes you happy and spending time nurturing that, which is a personal journey of self-discovery.
• 🧘‍♂️ Loneliness can be less painful when you have a strong connection with your true self, as it provides a sense of self-assurance even when physically alone.
• 💔 The feeling of being unfulfilled in relationships often stems from trying to fill a void within oneself with external sources, which is not a sustainable solution.
• 🗣️ Negative self-talk can become ingrained in one's self-perception, but it's important to recognize that the self is not static and can change and evolve.
• 🌟 We are all reflections of ourselves, and the traits we dislike in others are often aspects we need to address within ourselves.
• 🛠️ Personal growth requires space and kindness towards oneself, acknowledging that change is a gradual and sometimes painful process.
• 🏆 The belief that one must achieve certain things to be valued or loved is a self-imposed limitation that can hinder self-acceptance and growth.
• 🔄 The idea of needing to be a certain way to be respected or loved is toxic and can be unlearned by understanding that self-worth is inherent, not conditional.
• 💡 Becoming self-aware can sometimes lead to overanalysis and paralysis, but it's crucial for understanding one's programming and making conscious choices for self-improvement.

Q & A

What is the main idea discussed in the video script?

The main idea is the importance of having a strong relationship with oneself as a key to happiness and fulfillment, rather than seeking it through others.

Why does the speaker believe that many people feel alone and lost?

The speaker believes people feel alone and lost because they neglect building a strong relationship with themselves and instead seek external relationships to find meaning and completeness.

What does the speaker suggest is a common misconception about relationships and happiness?

The common misconception is that happiness and completeness can only be found through relationships with others, rather than within oneself.

What does the speaker mean by 'relationship with yourself'?

The 'relationship with yourself' refers to understanding, accepting, and spending time on oneself, including doing things that make one happy and acknowledging one's own needs and desires.

Why does the speaker think many people feel unfulfilled in their relationships?

The speaker thinks people feel unfulfilled because they are looking for someone else to fill a void within themselves, rather than addressing and understanding their own needs and desires.

What does the speaker suggest is a reason for people's self-neglect?

The speaker suggests that people self-neglect because they are constantly chasing and forcing relationships with others, which distracts them from focusing on their own personal growth and understanding.

How does the speaker describe the process of self-discovery and change?

The speaker describes it as a journey of self-acceptance, understanding, and development, which involves acknowledging one's negative self-perceptions and working towards a more positive and fulfilling self-image.

What does the speaker believe about the nature of the self?

The speaker believes that the self is not stagnant but is constantly evolving and changing, and that it's important to give oneself the space and kindness to grow and change.

Why does the speaker think it's important to challenge negative self-perceptions?

The speaker thinks it's important because negative self-perceptions can become ingrained and limit one's ability to see oneself accurately and to grow and change.

What does the speaker suggest is a way to overcome the feeling of loneliness?

The speaker suggests that by getting in touch with one's true self and understanding oneself more deeply, the feeling of loneliness can be reduced, even when physically alone.

What advice does the speaker give for those who are tired of running from themselves?

The speaker advises that they are ready to face themselves, understand their true desires and needs, and embark on a journey of self-discovery and acceptance.

Outlines

00:00

💭 Self-Relationship and Inner Fulfillment

The speaker emphasizes the importance of having a strong relationship with oneself, suggesting that many people mistakenly believe they need others to feel complete and find happiness. They argue that neglecting self-growth and self-understanding leads to a sense of purposelessness and loneliness. The speaker shares their journey towards self-awareness, explaining how understanding and accepting oneself can alleviate feelings of loneliness, even when physically alone. They also touch on the idea that negative self-perceptions can be challenged and changed, advocating for self-compassion and the recognition that the self is not static but constantly evolving.

05:03

🔄 Reflections of Self and Personal Evolution

This paragraph delves into the concept that we often see our own undesirable traits reflected in others, which can be a prompt for self-reflection and change. The speaker acknowledges that personal growth can be a challenging and painful process, but it is essential for evolution. They discuss societal pressures and internalized beliefs that can lead to self-deprecation and a pessimistic outlook, suggesting that recognizing these patterns is the first step towards change. The speaker also addresses the idea that external validation is often sought instead of internal acceptance, and the importance of self-acceptance during the process of change, regardless of one's current stage in life.

10:04

🚶‍♂️ Breaking Free from Self-Imposed Limitations

The final paragraph discusses the realization that much of our identity and behavior is a result of external influences and subconscious choices. The speaker reflects on their past experiences with seeking validation and connection from others, and the subsequent feelings of rejection and unworthiness. They share their process of unlearning these patterns and embracing the idea that they are not confined to their past identities. The speaker concludes by asserting that each day offers a fresh start, free from the constraints of previous actions or self-perceptions, encouraging the audience to face themselves without fear and to embrace the journey of self-discovery.

Keywords

💡Self-relationship

Self-relationship refers to the bond one has with oneself, which is the foundation of personal well-being and happiness. In the video, it is emphasized as the most important relationship one can have, as it is foundational to a person's sense of completeness and fulfillment. The script discusses how neglecting this relationship can lead to a lack of purpose and meaning in life.

💡Happiness

Happiness, in the context of the video, is portrayed as an internal state that is not dependent on external relationships but rather on one's relationship with oneself. The speaker suggests that seeking happiness through others is a common misconception, and true happiness comes from self-acceptance and self-understanding.

💡Completeness

Completeness is the feeling of being whole and not needing anything or anyone else to feel satisfied. The video argues against the idea that one needs another person to feel complete, stating that this sense of completeness should come from within and be independent of external validation.

💡Self-neglect

Self-neglect is the act of ignoring or not prioritizing one's own needs and well-being. The script mentions that many people chase external relationships while neglecting to build a strong relationship with themselves, which can result in feelings of being lost and purposeless.

💡Self-awareness

Self-awareness is the conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires. The video highlights the importance of self-awareness in understanding and improving one's self-relationship. It is depicted as a process of introspection and self-discovery that can lead to personal growth.

💡Loneliness

Loneliness is the feeling of sadness or distress about being alone or lacking social interactions. The speaker contrasts loneliness with being alone, stating that understanding and accepting oneself can alleviate the pain of loneliness, even when physically alone.

💡Self-acceptance

Self-acceptance is the act of embracing oneself, including one's strengths and weaknesses, without judgment. The video discusses how self-acceptance is crucial for a healthy self-relationship and is a key component in overcoming feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness.

💡Personal growth

Personal growth refers to the process of improving and developing oneself in various aspects of life. The script talks about personal growth as an ongoing journey that involves self-reflection, understanding one's identity, and evolving beyond past limitations.

💡Self-reflection

Self-reflection is the act of thinking deeply about one's experiences, feelings, and beliefs. In the video, self-reflection is presented as a tool for gaining insight into one's self, which can lead to better self-understanding and improved self-relationship.

💡Self-identity

Self-identity is the understanding of who one is, including one's values, beliefs, and personality traits. The video discusses how one's self-identity can be influenced by external factors and internal thoughts, and the importance of recognizing and reshaping it to align with one's true self.

💡Change

Change, in the context of the video, refers to the ability to evolve and transform as an individual. The speaker emphasizes that change is a natural part of life and that allowing oneself to change is essential for personal development and maintaining a healthy self-relationship.

Highlights

The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.

Many people believe happiness and completeness come from relationships with others.

The misconception that being alone is damaging due to the constant search for external fulfillment.

The importance of building a strong relationship with oneself instead of neglecting self for others.

The concept of 'relationship with yourself' includes understanding personal happiness and self-worth.

The speaker's journey towards understanding what it means to have a relationship with oneself.

Feeling less lonely by understanding and connecting with one's true self.

The realization that negative self-perception can become ingrained and affect identity.

The self is not stagnant; it evolves, and we are capable of change and growth.

The idea that we often see our dislikes in others as a reflection of our own traits.

Acknowledging the ability to change and the importance of self-compassion during the process.

The societal pressure to conform to certain standards for acceptance and value.

The challenge of self-awareness and the potential trap of overanalyzing one's actions.

The discomfort of realizing that we are often the ones holding ourselves back.

The empowerment in understanding that we can choose to be a different person each day.

The struggle of unlearning ingrained beliefs about self-worth and the journey of self-acceptance.

The encouragement to face oneself and embrace the journey of self-discovery.

Transcripts

the most important relationship you're

ever going to have in your life is the

relationship you have with yourself I

feel

like a lot of us believe that you know

that in order to find happiness in order

to you know be

complete that you need to find a

relationship with someone else you know

to complete

you and I think that's a big reason why

a lot of us in this

generation kind of feel like

you know being

alone

is so damaging and being alone is so

painful because we're constantly looking

for someone else to come into our lives

and complete us and make our lives worth

living and make life just feel like it

has some meaning but I feel like this is

where a lot of us go

wrong we neglect ourselves and

Chase relationships with others

we almost try and force these

relationships with others whether

they're romantic relationships platonic

relationship

friendships and we neglect building a

strong relationship with

ourselves and I think this is why so

many people now feel

lost feel like their life has no meaning

their life is

purposeless because they've neglected

the self they've neglected

the most important relationship which is

your relationship with

yourself and when I say relationship

with yourself what does that mean to

you does a relationship with yourself

mean you know how much money you spend

on

yourself or how much time you spend with

yourself or just spending time doing

things that make you

happy and I think this is a question

where you really need to ask

ourselves what does it mean to know

yourself what does it mean to have a

good relationship with yourself I think

this is something I'm working towards

understanding

more cuz for a long time I didn't really

know what it meant to have a

relationship with yourself

because the self was something I was

unfamiliar with I didn't really

acknowledge that you know I was here if

that makes sense I feel like I was just

perceiving life walking around the world

not

really understanding what was going

on and feeling

alone not just alone but

lonely but the more that I've come in

touch with myself with my true

self and really spent some time deling

into myself and trying to understand

myself more the less lonely I feel even

though I am still you know alone

sometimes it's not painful it's not

as you know gut-wrenching as it used to

be cuz I know that I am always

here and I think a big reason why a lot

of us don't

feel very fulfilled in our relationships

is cuz we're looking for again someone

to feel this void in us feel the void

that we have maybe

to you know take certain boxes that we

feel like we should be taking or maybe

just to distract us from

ourselves and I feel like you need a

distraction from yourself when you don't

actually know

yourself cuz people think they know

theel just because they have these

thoughts you know maybe these negative

thoughts that tell them about who they

believe they are maybe you tell yourself

that you know no one cares about

you maybe you tell yourself that you're

stupid that you know you can't do X you

can't do y and when you say yourself

these things about yourself enough times

they start to become you know almost

ingrained in how you perceive

yourself but for me I've started to

realize that just because I've told

myself I am

something it doesn't mean that it's true

because I don't believe the self is

something that is stagnant it's not

something that you know stays the same

throughout time it's something that I

feel like we're almost new people each

day but because this reality is you know

quite you know confusing we often just

sit back and default back to our comfort

zone and for a lot of us this comfort

zone of self is

negativity this comfort zone of how you

see yourself is being pessimistic

expecting the

worst and then you know not being

surprised when the worst does happen cuz

you're like well that is supposed to

happen cuz that is how who I am I'm

someone you know bad things just

happened to me whatever it is I think we

all know someone who's like that and the

reason you probably dislike that kind of

person is because they remind you of

something

that's in

you I think that's something also I've

really started to realize recently that

we are all just

reflections of

ourselves that all the things you see

about other people that you don't

like they are reflections of yourself

I've started to notice that even the

traits that I disliking others like

maybe people who for example like always

late and then I discover oh wait a

minute I'm late quite often as well

or someone who's self

deprecating I'm like oh I hate when

people do that so cringe and I'm I

realized in my thoughts I'm often

deprecating myself as well and I think

it's important to acknowledge

that you know as humans we are able to

change and we are able to evolve

and I don't think you're able to do that

unless you give yourself space to change

and the kindness to allow yourself to

change cuz the process of changing is

never something that is you know quick

and easy there's always going to be

growing pains there's always going to be

that period of time where you're in

between

identities where you're not who you used

to be but you're not quite who you want

to be and even that idea in itself is

toxic because who tolds you that you

have to be X or Y to be

valued or you have to be X or Y to be

you know someone who deserves to you

know be loved but these are things that

we tell

ourselves if not you know verbally then

it's psychologically or we kind

of you know paint the world on that

perspective of how we see people who

haven't achieved X or Y as being less

valuable and people that have achieved X

or Y is being more valuable but when you

when you're not secure with yourself

it's very easy for you for you to put

yourself into these categories okay

because I haven't done this I don't

deserve to be respected because I

haven't done that I don't deserve to be

loved sorry if if you can hear the

blender right now that's my brother

making this movie but yeah the idea

of looking for fulfillment

and looking outside of yourself to be

completed is something that I feel is

kind of taught to us as well isn't

it we're kind of told whether it's

through the school system where you know

you're told that if you're a good boy or

a good girl then you know you deserve

the good things to happen to you and you

know that goodness is basically just

following the rules that they give you

and kind of just being

compliant or whether it's through your

like relationships with your family to

your parents

where obviously they treat you you're

treated differently based on how happy

your your um parents are with you based

on you know whatever parameters they

give you and you're kind of taught

basically therefore to look for

fulfillment sorry not fulfillment look

look for acceptance from others instead

of looking internally for that

acceptance being able to accept yourself

regardless of whether you're doing you

know the right thing right now or the

wrong thing right now and to still

understand that you deserve to be seen

accepted and understood throughout the

process of change whether you're just at

the start of your journey if you haven't

even started your journey yet or if

you're four or five years into this

journey of know self absolution self

development self- understanding and I

feel like it's very hard

for people like myself and probably like

you who are you know becoming more

self-aware to not overanalyze everything

that they do cuz it's it's like I'm very

conscious of the things I do now a lot

more than I used to and I think it's

become a trap sometimes

because you can get in the Trap of being

almost too

self-aware where it kind of stops you

from wanting to do

things because you just can

almost I don't know over understand why

you do everything if that makes

sense

like you get to the point

where you understand your um your

program your your programming almost

like you start to understand how things

have affected you to the point where you

understand exactly why you believe

certain things exactly why you feel

certain things exactly why you react in

certain ways and then once you

understand this it's like okay who am I

then cuz you started to identify with

all these parts of you that you thought

with yourself but now that you've

understood why you have these parts of

you in the first place it's like okay is

that really who I am or is that just who

I've been told to be is that just who

I've been molded and sculpted into

being and I think the closer I've got to

getting in touch with you know who I

truly want to be what things I truly

care about

the more levelheaded I've become the

less erratic I've

become and all together just the most

the more fulfilled I've become I feel

like I've been someone who has had

experiences with just like chasing

people

who didn't really want anything to do

with me or didn't really care about me

as much as I cared about them and I

would internalize that as meaning that

you know people didn't care about me in

general or maybe I I shouldn't be cared

about

and that's something I've had to unlearn

and it's not easy because it's something

that's been ingrained in mind

identity but again it is I have also

understood that that was a choice that I

was making even though I was making it

subconsciously I was choosing to stick

to that identity instead of realizing

that I don't have to be stuck to

anything there are there are very few

like universally true rules of

life but one of these rules that I

firmly believe in is that you can be who

you want to be each day you wake up you

don't have to be the same person you

were yesterday cuz the only person

that's holding you to that same standard

of who you are yesterday is

yourself and that's a uncomfortable

truth I've had to come to terms with

that for a long time I was choosing to

do the like the wrong thing I was

choosing to be lazy I was choosing to be

a victim I was choosing

to avoid

myself and it didn't get me anywhere of

course it allowed me to distract myself

from myself for a while but eventually

you get to the point where you you're

tired of

running and if you're still watching

this video you're probably tired of

running too you're you're ready to face

yourself and you're ready to see where

that takes

you okay it was good talk talk to you

today hope you've found this valuable or

just found this interesting to hear or

maybe you can even relate to this that

would be

cool um yeah always appreciate you

lending me your

ear and hopefully we'll speak again

soon so

yeah I Easter