Hope 5

Summary

The transcript discusses the delicate balance of communication in professional relationships, emphasizing the importance of over-communicating at the beginning to understand patterns and preferences. It highlights the need to make informed decisions based on past experiences and to be prepared to adjust or apologize when necessary. The speaker stresses the importance of adapting to individual working styles and the inevitable need to make decisions, even if they might be wrong, to avoid business stagnation.

Takeaways

• 🔍 Over-communication is essential at the beginning of any relationship to ensure that assumptions are checked and understood.
• 📅 Recognizing and respecting an individual's scheduling preferences and patterns is crucial for effective communication and collaboration.
• 🤝 Establishing a clear structure for decision-making and communication helps in managing expectations and avoiding misunderstandings.
• 🗣️ It's important to understand an individual's preferences, such as the types of meetings they want to schedule or the invites they want to accept.
• 🔄 As situations repeat, it becomes easier to predict preferences and needs, allowing for a more efficient workflow.
• 💡 Over time, patterns emerge that can guide decision-making, reducing the need for constant checking and improving the balance between communication and action.
• 🚫 There are times when making a decision is necessary, even if it might not be the perfect choice, especially when inaction could have negative consequences.
• 🔄 Feedback is vital; after making decisions based on past experiences, it's important to communicate the rationale and be open to adjustments.
• 🛑 Apologizing and correcting course when a decision doesn't align with someone's expectations is part of the learning process and maintaining trust.
• 🧘‍♂️ The balance between communication and action is delicate and varies depending on the individual's management style and working preferences.
• 🔄 Adaptability is key; as one learns more about the person they are working with, they can adjust their communication style to better suit their needs.

Q & A

How does one balance the right amount of communication when working with someone?

One should start by over-communicating to understand the person's preferences and patterns. Over time, as you notice patterns and establish a rhythm, you can adjust the frequency of communication accordingly.

What is the initial approach to take when you're unsure about someone's preferences?

Initially, it's about trial and error, making assumptions and later checking them with the person involved to ensure they align with their expectations.

How can one avoid annoying someone with constant checks on assumptions?

By setting up structures and understanding the person's ideal preferences, such as scheduling meetings or handling email invites, you can reduce the need for constant checks.

What is a common issue that arises when trying to schedule someone's calendar?

Conflicts often arise due to misunderstandings about how the person wants their time scheduled. It's important to have a clear discussion about their ideal week and preferred meeting types.

How can one set up structures to assist with recurring situations like scheduling meetings?

By having a clear understanding of the person's preferences and communicating expectations for such situations, you can create a system that helps manage these recurring tasks more efficiently.

What is the strategy for handling a high volume of email invites for someone?

Understanding the types of invites the person wants to accept or decline is crucial. This helps in filtering and managing the invites according to their preferences.

Why is over-communication recommended at the beginning of a working relationship?

Over-communication helps in building a better understanding of the person's needs and preferences, which in turn reduces the likelihood of making incorrect assumptions.

How does one decide when to make a decision without being able to consult the person involved?

Based on past experiences and what has worked before, one can make a decision and later explain the rationale to the person involved for their agreement or feedback.

What should one do if a decision made without consultation turns out to be wrong?

In such cases, it's important to go back to the person, explain the decision-making process, apologize if necessary, and adjust for future scenarios.

How does the balance between over-communicating and being efficient conflict?

The conflict arises because while over-communication helps in understanding and avoiding mistakes, being efficient requires a balance where tasks are completed without constant back-and-forth.

What is the key to managing different working styles and management preferences?

The key is to learn and adapt to the individual's working style, management preferences, and personal ways of doing things, which requires observation and open communication.

Outlines

00:00

🗣️ Balancing Communication and Decision-Making

The speaker discusses the challenge of striking the right balance in communication, particularly when it comes to anticipating and guessing the needs and future desires of others. They emphasize the importance of making assumptions and checking them without being overly intrusive. The speaker shares their experience with a colleague named Fred, highlighting how they learned to understand Fred's preferences and work patterns over time by setting up structures and communication protocols. They mention the struggle with Fred's calendar and how they eventually reached a mutual understanding by discussing ideal scheduling. The speaker also touches on the process of filtering email invites and the importance of over-communicating at the beginning to avoid future misunderstandings. They acknowledge the necessity of making decisions in the absence of direct communication and the importance of owning up to and correcting any wrong decisions made in the process.

Keywords

💡Communication

Communication is the act of sharing or exchanging information, ideas, or feelings. In the context of the video, it's about finding the right balance between projecting what someone wants and what they might want in the future without constantly checking assumptions. The script mentions the importance of setting up structures for communication to understand preferences and avoid annoyance.

💡Assumptions

Assumptions are beliefs or opinions that something is the case, especially one that forms the basis of an argument or a decision. The video discusses the need to make assumptions in order to project future needs but also the pitfalls of constantly checking these assumptions, which can lead to annoyance.

💡Patterns

Patterns refer to regularity or predictability in behavior or events. The script talks about noticing patterns in how a person works and schedules their time, which helps in making informed decisions and reducing the need for constant communication.

💡Calendar

A calendar is a system of time measurement, but in the video, it is used to illustrate the conflict and negotiation over scheduling meetings. It's a tool that helps in understanding and respecting someone's time preferences.

💡Ideal Week

The term 'ideal week' refers to a person's preferred schedule or arrangement of activities for a week. The video mentions trying to understand someone's ideal week to better schedule meetings, which is part of the process of aligning with their work style.

💡Over Communication

Over communication means communicating more than necessary. The video suggests that, especially at the beginning of a relationship or project, it's better to over communicate to ensure everyone is on the same page, even if it might seem excessive.

💡Cross Check

Cross checking is the act of verifying information by comparing it with other sources or data. In the video, it's recommended to cross check with the person involved to ensure that the decisions made align with their expectations.

💡Decision Making

Decision making is the process of selecting a course of action from among multiple alternatives. The script highlights the necessity of making decisions, even when they might be wrong, due to the urgency or importance of the situation.

💡Time Zone

A time zone is a region of the Earth that has the same standard time. The video discusses the challenges of decision making when the person involved is in a different time zone, requiring reliance on past experiences and patterns to make informed decisions.

💡Management Style

Management style refers to the way in which a manager or leader directs and controls the work of an organization. The script emphasizes the importance of understanding an individual's management style to effectively communicate and make decisions that align with their preferences.

💡Rhythm

Rhythm in this context refers to a consistent pattern or tempo in work or behavior. The video talks about getting into a rhythm with someone's work style, which helps in anticipating their needs and making decisions without constant communication.

Highlights

Balancing communication by making assumptions about needs and preferences without constantly checking to avoid annoyance.

Learning patterns and preferences over time to better anticipate and meet needs without frequent checks.

Setting up structures and expectations for scheduling meetings and managing calendars to reduce conflicts.

Understanding preferences for accepting or declining speaking invitations to streamline decision-making.

Recognizing the importance of over-communicating at the beginning to ensure clarity and alignment.

Building a communication cadence over time to improve efficiency and reduce the need for constant checking.

The value of over-communicating, especially in the early stages, to prevent misunderstandings.

Making decisions in the absence of direct communication based on past experiences and patterns.

The necessity of making decisions even when they may be wrong, to avoid business or personal losses.

The delicate balance between over-communicating and being able to 'fire and forget' to get tasks done.

The conflict between the need for constant communication and the desire for efficiency.

Adapting communication strategies based on the individual's working style and management preferences.

The importance of learning and adapting to the unique style of each person for effective communication.

The inevitability of making decisions without complete information and the need to correct course when necessary.

The role of apology and correction in situations where decisions made without direct input may not align with expectations.

The emphasis on over-communication as a key strategy for building trust and understanding in professional relationships.

Transcripts

and how do you balance the right amount

of communication right you are

projecting and

guessing about what they want and what

they will want in the future

and you have to make assumptions in

order to do that and you don't want to

constantly be checking your assumptions

because you're going to annoy them

right like how do you

how do you make decisions about when at

what point in time

to check in on your assumptions in the

beginning

was it kind of just trial and error

how did you do that

it was and then i think after some point

he also started noticing some patterns

with like you know how fred works how he

wants to schedule his time um some point

like his calendar is the one that we

just always used to fight about like

it's like why did you schedule this why

was this there and at some point like

it's not always followed but you know i

had a meeting and we were trying to

understand okay so what's your ideal

week when do you want us to schedule

meetings what kind of meetings do you

want us to schedule so it's trying to

set up those structures to be able to

help you with similar situations um even

when it comes to emails like he gets a

lot of invites to speak here speak there

just trying to understand you know what

kind of invites do you want to accept

what don't you want to accept so trying

to set up as much because after some

point the situations repeat themselves i

mean it's similar like it's scheduling a

meeting so that's going to happen all

the time and so just trying to

have that place where you communicate

okay so this is what i expect in such

situations this is how i want to go

about it

um

and then also like

sometimes it's over communicate you'd

rather over communicate that under

communicates and it brings problems so

i think especially at the beginning

don't be afraid to always go back and

cross check and understand is this fine

with you this is how you want it over

time you know you get better you build a

cadence and you'll be able to

um

imagine what they want but i think at

the beginning don't be afraid to over

communicate it's something that i think

going back i should have done more um it

should have helped and saved us a lot

but just like

that over communication at the beginning

and then

when it comes to situations where i

can't like for example who's in a

different time zone i can't reach him

um i just like based on experience based

on what has worked before um i just make

a decision and then i go back to him and

i tell him okay so this is the scenario

i made this decision based on this this

and that

um and yeah sometimes he doesn't agree

with it sometimes he agrees with it but

i guess at some point you do have to

make a decision you can't there's

situations where you can't just stay

there and not make a decision because it

might cost like business so it might

cost him something so you really have to

at some point just

you know go and apologize later

yeah so there's

what i'm hearing you say is especially

at the beginning over communicate and

then as time goes on you kind of notice

those patterns and you get into rhythm

but there are inevitably times

where you have to just make a decision

and maybe it's the wrong

decision the wrong call and you go back

and fix it but

it seems like such a delicate balance

right where

you're trying to walk a tightrope where

you want to over communicate let them

know and then you want to also be fire

and forget right like they give you

stuff you want to get it done and it

seems like those two are kind of

constantly in conflict

yeah and it's all dependent like it's

all dependent on the person like this i

also tell people like there's so much

you can do but it's really like

dependent on the person and their ways

of working their style their style of

management and so learn them managed