What Candy Did For Her Son Quentin To Graduate | Mother's Love | Toni Talks

Toni Gonzaga Studio
1 May 202124:38

Summary

TLDRIn this heartfelt video, Candy Pangilinan shares her journey as a mother, from the struggles of a failing marriage and the pain of her husband leaving shortly after her son Quentin's birth, to the challenges of raising a child with special needs. She talks about her transformation, finding strength in faith and community, and the importance of celebrating motherhood every day. Candy's story is a testament to resilience, hope, and the unbreakable bond between a mother and her child.

Takeaways

  • 🎉 The speaker believes that Mother's Day should be celebrated every day, not just in May, emphasizing the importance of mothers in our lives.
  • 💔 Ms. Candy Pangilinan shared her personal struggles with her marriage, including discovering her husband's infidelity and the emotional turmoil she faced during her pregnancy.
  • 👶 After the birth of her son Quentin, Candy's husband left the family, highlighting the challenges of single motherhood and the need for resilience.
  • 🤔 Candy sought help from a psychologist to address her emotional state and to validate whether she was 'crazy' as her ex-husband had suggested, finding out she was not.
  • 🙏 She turned to spiritual guidance after her husband's departure, learning about self-worth and dignity from her spiritual counselor.
  • 🧐 Candy realized that she had ignored many signs of her husband's unfaithfulness, choosing to believe in the relationship despite her intuition telling her otherwise.
  • 📚 The speaker discovered her son Quentin had developmental differences and needed therapy, which was a turning point in understanding his unique needs.
  • 🌟 Quentin's developmental journey taught Candy patience, tolerance, and to appreciate the simple things in life, shifting her perspective on what truly matters.
  • 🤷‍♀️ Candy faced societal and institutional discrimination due to Quentin's special needs, including schools refusing to accept him and social exclusion at events.
  • 🏆 Despite the challenges, Candy organized a graduation ceremony for Quentin in the community plaza, showing her determination to celebrate her son's achievements.
  • 💪 The script portrays the strength and multi-tasking abilities of mothers, especially single mothers with children with special needs, and their unwavering commitment to their children's well-being.

Q & A

  • What is the main theme of the conversation in the script?

    -The main theme of the conversation is the journey of a mother, Ms. Candy Pangilinan, through personal struggles, including a troubled marriage, postpartum depression, and raising a child, Quentin, with special needs.

  • What significant event is mentioned at the beginning of the script?

    -The significant event mentioned at the beginning is the celebration of Mother's Day in May, which the speaker believes should be celebrated every day, not just on one specific day.

  • What was the emotional state of Ms. Pangilinan during her pregnancy?

    -Ms. Pangilinan was emotionally distressed during her pregnancy due to marital problems, including her husband's intention to leave her, which he communicated to her before the birth of their child.

  • How did Ms. Pangilinan cope with the absence of her husband after Quentin's birth?

    -Ms. Pangilinan sought help from a psychologist to address her emotional state and to determine if she was 'crazy' as her ex-husband had suggested. She also consulted a spiritual counselor who helped her regain her sense of dignity and self-worth.

  • What challenges did Quentin face during his early developmental stages?

    -Quentin faced several developmental challenges, including not crawling or making 'ooh' sounds, which led to consultations with various specialists such as a developmental doctor, occupational therapist, speech therapist, and physical therapist.

  • What was the turning point for Ms. Pangilinan in realizing the gravity of Quentin's condition?

    -The turning point for Ms. Pangilinan was when Quentin's developmental doctor suggested that her son might have conditions like ADHD or autism and recommended immediate therapy, emphasizing that every day counts for a child's development.

  • How did Ms. Pangilinan's perspective on life change after having Quentin?

    -Ms. Pangilinan's perspective on life changed significantly after having Quentin. She learned to appreciate the simple things in life, developed patience and tolerance, and found a new sense of purpose and strength in motherhood.

  • What was the situation with Quentin's kindergarten graduation?

    -Quentin was not allowed to graduate with his class due to concerns about his behavior during the ceremony. Despite Ms. Pangilinan's pleas, the school principal refused to let Quentin participate in the official graduation.

  • How did Ms. Pangilinan respond to the school's decision regarding Quentin's kindergarten graduation?

    -Ms. Pangilinan organized an alternative graduation ceremony for Quentin in the local plaza, inviting people from their church to attend and celebrate Quentin's achievement.

  • What personal growth did Ms. Pangilinan experience as a result of her challenges?

    -Ms. Pangilinan experienced significant personal growth, moving from a place of dependency on her husband to finding strength and purpose in her role as a mother. She learned to trust in God's plan and to find joy and fulfillment in motherhood despite the challenges.

  • How does the script highlight the resilience and resourcefulness of mothers?

    -The script highlights the resilience and resourcefulness of mothers by showcasing Ms. Pangilinan's journey, showing how she overcame personal and maternal challenges, sought solutions, and created her own support systems to ensure her child's well-being.

Outlines

00:00

🌹 Reflections on Motherhood and Personal Growth

In this heartfelt paragraph, the speaker, Ms. Candy Pangilinan, expresses her belief that Mother's Day should be celebrated every day, emphasizing the importance of mothers in everyone's lives. She shares her personal journey of becoming a mother and the emotional challenges she faced during her marriage, including her husband's infidelity and the decision to have a child despite their relationship troubles. The paragraph also touches on the emotional turmoil she experienced after giving birth, with her husband leaving shortly after, and her struggle with potential postpartum depression. She seeks help from a psychologist to address her emotional state and the accusations of being 'crazy' by her ex-husband.

05:01

🙏 Spiritual Guidance and Acceptance

The speaker discusses her journey towards forgiveness and acceptance after her husband left her. Initially, she was focused on getting her husband back, but through guidance from a spiritual counselor, she learned the importance of dignity and self-worth. The counselor used a metaphor of a Lacoste shirt turned into a rag to illustrate how she was treating her life and dignity. This led to a realization about the signs she had ignored and her stubbornness in pursuing her own desires against God's will. The paragraph also mentions her son Quentin's developmental challenges, which added another layer of complexity to her life as a single mother.

10:01

👶 The Challenges and Blessings of Raising a Special Needs Child

This paragraph delves into the difficulties and emotional weight of raising a child with special needs. The speaker describes the uncertainty and fear she felt when learning about her son Quentin's potential inability to walk or talk, and the process of seeking therapy and medical help. She reflects on her transformation from a woman focused on her husband to one who finds purpose and strength in caring for her son. The speaker also highlights the importance of support from her community and the role of faith in helping her navigate the challenges of motherhood.

15:02

🏆 Overcoming Discrimination and Creating Opportunities

The speaker shares her experiences with discrimination and the resilience she developed as a single mother with a special needs child. She talks about the rejection they faced, such as schools not accepting Quentin and social situations where he was left out. Despite these challenges, she found creative ways to provide her son with a sense of normalcy and achievement, like organizing a graduation ceremony in the plaza when the school refused to let Quentin graduate. This paragraph showcases the strength of a mother's love and the lengths she will go to ensure her child's happiness and well-being.

20:04

💪 The Resilience and Strength of Motherhood

In the final paragraph, the speaker reflects on the incredible resilience and multitasking abilities of mothers, especially those with special needs children. She discusses the challenges of balancing work and motherhood, and how the maternal instinct seems to naturally equip women to handle these demands. The speaker emphasizes that being a mother is a purpose-driven role, and despite the difficulties, it is ultimately rewarding. She concludes with a message of hope and encouragement for all mothers facing similar struggles.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Mother's Day

Mother's Day is a celebration honoring the mother of the family, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. In the script, the speaker emphasizes that Mother's Day should not be celebrated just once a year but every day, reflecting the ongoing and essential role of mothers in our lives.

💡Postpartum Depression

Postpartum Depression is a type of mood disorder related to childbirth that can affect both physical and emotional well-being. The script mentions the speaker's struggle with postpartum depression after her child's birth, which was complicated by marital problems, illustrating the challenges faced by new mothers.

💡Marital Breakup

A marital breakup refers to the end of a marriage, which can be emotionally and psychologically challenging. The script describes the speaker's experience with her husband leaving shortly after the birth of their child, highlighting the intersection of personal struggles and family dynamics.

💡Psychologist

A psychologist is a professional who studies behavior and mental processes, often providing therapy and counseling. In the script, the speaker consults a psychologist to address her emotional state and to validate her sanity, showing the importance of seeking professional help during difficult times.

💡Manipulation

Manipulation is the act of influencing someone's thoughts or actions in a cunning or deceitful way. The script uses the term to describe how the speaker's ex-husband made her doubt her sanity by accusing her of being 'crazy,' which is a form of emotional manipulation.

💡Dignity

Dignity refers to the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect. In the video, the speaker's spiritual counselor emphasizes the importance of maintaining one's dignity, especially in the face of personal adversity, suggesting that self-respect is crucial for emotional well-being.

💡ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by attention problems, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. The script mentions ADHD as a potential diagnosis for the speaker's son, Quentin, indicating the challenges of dealing with developmental disorders and the need for understanding and support.

💡Autism

Autism, or Autism Spectrum Disorder, is a developmental disorder affecting communication and behavior. The script raises the possibility of Quentin having autism, highlighting the complexity of developmental conditions and the impact they can have on families.

💡Therapy

Therapy, in this context, refers to professional treatments aimed at improving mental health or physical functioning. The script discusses various types of therapy the speaker's son Quentin undergoes, such as occupational, speech, and physical therapy, underscoring the importance of early intervention for children with special needs.

💡Resilience

Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties or to overcome adversity. The speaker demonstrates resilience in the face of her son's special needs and her personal struggles, showing that mothers can find strength and adapt to challenging circumstances.

💡Inclusion

Inclusion refers to the act of including or incorporating someone or something within a group or structure. The script touches on the theme of inclusion through the speaker's efforts to ensure her son's participation in school activities, despite the challenges he faces, emphasizing the need for acceptance and equal opportunities.

💡Gratitude

Gratitude is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. The speaker learns to appreciate the simple things in life through her experiences with her son Quentin, illustrating how adversity can lead to a deeper appreciation for life's blessings.

💡Discrimination

Discrimination is the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, especially on the grounds of race, age, or sex. The script mentions the discrimination the speaker and her son face, such as exclusion from social activities, reflecting the social challenges that individuals with special needs and their families often encounter.

💡Maternal Instinct

Maternal instinct refers to the natural tendency of a mother to protect and care for her offspring. The script alludes to the speaker's maternal instinct as a driving force that helps her navigate the challenges of being a single mother, working, and raising a child with special needs, suggesting an inherent ability to multitask and prioritize her child's needs.

Highlights

Candy Pangilinan believes Mother's Day should be celebrated every day, not just in May.

Candy's emotional journey through marriage, pregnancy, and the eventual departure of her husband.

The impact of postpartum depression and the confusion between hormonal changes and real-life events.

Candy's experience seeking help from a psychologist to address her ex-husband's claim of her being 'crazy'.

The revelation that the bra found was not Candy's, leading to a realization about her ex-husband's manipulation.

Candy's spiritual counselor's analogy of the Lacoste shirt to explain the importance of self-respect and dignity.

Candy's realization of the signs she ignored during her marriage due to stubbornness and desire for control.

The challenges faced by Candy as a single mother balancing work and caring for her son Quentin with special needs.

Quentin's developmental issues and the journey through various therapies and medical consultations.

Candy's struggle with acceptance and the discrimination faced by Quentin due to his special needs.

The emotional moment when Quentin comforts Candy by saying 'I'm good' after being denied graduation.

Candy's creative solution to organize a graduation ceremony for Quentin in the plaza, showcasing resilience.

The importance of patience, tolerance, and living a simple life as taught by Quentin to Candy.

Candy's perspective shift on what truly matters in life, focusing on the blessings of everyday abilities.

The challenges of being a single mother and working while ensuring Quentin's needs are met.

Candy's belief in the maternal instinct and the ability of mothers to multitask and overcome obstacles.

The affirmation that mothers are made for a purpose and that God will help them fulfill it, as Candy's source of strength.

Transcripts

play00:00

[upbeat music]

play00:06

This month of May, we celebrate Mother's Day.

play00:10

But I truly believe in my heart, now that I'm a mother as well,

play00:13

"Mother's Day shouldn't just be celebrated in one day."

play00:16

"It should be celebrated every single day."

play00:19

Because me and you...

play00:21

and everyone else will not be here if not for our mothers.

play00:24

And very very grateful...

play00:26

because she allowed us to share her wonderful journey.

play00:30

- Ms. Candy Pangilinan. - Wow!

play00:33

- Thank you Kends! - Thank you as well.

play00:35

Last time we've worked... 2010?

play00:38

Kokey.

play00:39

- You still remember? - Yes, long time ago.

play00:42

Because I've watched an interview of yours,

play00:44

I couldn't help but to weep and cry.

play00:46

I was informed by Alex.

play00:48

- Really? - We've met and Alex said:

play00:50

You know my sister, after giving birth...

play00:52

she now cries a lot, she said.

play00:55

She watched your interview and she kept on crying.

play00:57

I want to have her checked up, she said.

play01:00

Obviously, before having a child,

play01:01

- first, you'll fall in love, right? - mhmm...

play01:03

Yes. And then the product of your romance is formed.

play01:06

(which is Quentin)

play01:08

What age did you get married?

play01:11

Thirty-one or thirty-two.

play01:12

So thirty-one, thirty-two, you got married.

play01:15

And then right after you got married, "Did you got pregnant soon?"

play01:18

No.

play01:20

Not that soon.

play01:21

But correct, I was married at 31.

play01:23

Because a year after that was when we have decided.

play01:26

- To have a baby? - Yes.

play01:28

Actually, it's like this...

play01:29

Even before I got pregnant, "We're on the rocks."

play01:33

We were together for 10 years.

play01:35

After getting married...

play01:37

we're falling apart, even before our wedding,

play01:40

I have caught him red-handed.

play01:43

But most women feel that people will change.

play01:47

I felt that, "A baby will save it..."

play01:49

ahh...

play01:51

"...that's why I decided to get pregnant."

play01:54

- So after giving birth... - Here we go.

play01:57

Before I gave birth, he's still there

play01:59

but he was saying that he'll leave me.

play02:02

So during the whole time you're pregnant,

play02:04

emotionally...

play02:05

Yes, he told that to me; at least he gave notice.

play02:07

[laughs]

play02:10

- That's irritating! - I'm well informed.

play02:13

Really?

play02:13

Yes. Once our child was born, he called it his "souvenir."

play02:16

(very unforgettable)

play02:17

- Oh, shocks! - I was very pregnant then.

play02:20

You're very pregnant,

play02:21

towards the end of the pregnancy,

play02:23

- you were dealing with marital problems. - Yes.

play02:26

That's tough, right?

play02:27

We experience hardships as a woman while pregnant,

play02:30

because we change physically and emotionally.

play02:34

- That's what happens to us. - Exactly.

play02:37

And during that time...

play02:39

I only had one show, Whattamen...

play02:42

they've also made me pregnant in the story,

play02:44

because they don't want me to go.

play02:46

So while taping, I felt that:

play02:48

This was the only time...

play02:50

when my sanity returns because I'm busy.

play02:52

It's a real mess when I'm at home, right?

play02:58

Then to make a long story short:

play02:59

I gave birth; after a month I gave birth...

play03:03

he left and never came back.

play03:05

Although, he gave me a notice.

play03:07

- He said he went golfing. - [laughs]

play03:10

- A month after pregnancy? - Yes, less than a month.

play03:14

He said he went golfing,

play03:16

and then...

play03:17

I don't know what kind of hole he shot.

play03:20

Sorry.

play03:21

- He never came back? - He never came back.

play03:22

Maybe he played with Tiger Woods and I wasn't informed.

play03:25

I don't know actually which was postpartum from depression.

play03:29

I couldn't really decipher.

play03:31

I've reached a point where I'm like...

play03:33

Is this hormonal?

play03:35

Maybe not because it seems real...

play03:37

and it's a sad turn of events.

play03:39

- I was like that. - You're assessing the situation?

play03:42

Yes. And I consulted a... psychiatrist.

play03:45

Rather, psychologist; there was no medicine.

play03:48

(psychologist)

play03:48

I went to the psychologist because my ex told me before:

play03:53

-"I was crazy." - ohh...

play03:55

I thought of many things... He said, "You're crazy."

play03:58

He said that because...

play04:00

- I was accusing him for having other woman. - hmm...

play04:03

I said, "So I'm crazy?"

play04:05

- He left because I'm crazy? - mmm...

play04:07

But I felt like it's true,

play04:09

so I went to a psychologist for a checkup

play04:11

- if I'm really crazy. - hmm...

play04:14

They said I wasn't crazy. The bra I found wasn't mine.

play04:17

[laughs]

play04:19

- That solve the bra problem. - Yes.

play04:21

- It was not your bra. - It's not mine.

play04:24

- But your ex made you believe it was. - Yes, and I believed.

play04:27

- That you have a problem. - Yes.

play04:29

Wow, talk about his manipulation.

play04:31

But it's true that "love is really blind,"

play04:34

but your neighbors can see.

play04:35

People around you, they see the truth.

play04:37

But you do not see it...

play04:40

you just want to believe what you wanted, right?

play04:43

You don't listen to others.

play04:45

But you knew it in your heart, because we have a woman's intuition.

play04:49

- You felt it in your heart? - mhmm...

play04:51

You'll know it...

play04:54

But why did you pursue it that time?

play04:56

Was there a chance that he'll change?

play04:58

You know, sometimes...

play05:00

when you get everything you want, you feel in control.

play05:03

(I was like that before)

play05:04

"No. I can do this. I can do this."

play05:06

It's like a toy that I can't have.

play05:09

- You know? - It became a challenge?

play05:10

Yes, it became a challenge.

play05:12

And I was in-love and I chose to marry him.

play05:15

- You loved him. - That's why I married him.

play05:18

Then, I was like "No. I need to forgive."

play05:22

I need to forgive because the Bible said to forgive them.

play05:25

(like that)

play05:26

I need to forgive him.

play05:28

But after he left,

play05:30

my sister brought me to a... spiritual counselor.

play05:35

And my spiritual counselor was the one who told me:

play05:37

"You know, Candy... dignity is a gift."

play05:42

Of course...

play05:44

that did not register in my mind.

play05:46

I'm still like "No. Get my husband back."

play05:48

That's our prayer; we have to pray the same.

play05:51

My mom was like "Thy will be done."

play05:52

It's different! It must be...

play05:54

- "Bring him back." - Yes.

play05:56

Don't confuse God.

play05:57

(I was like that before)

play05:59

- Different prayers. - Yes. That's bad.

play06:01

"Just one prayer for us."

play06:02

My spiritual counselor said:

play06:04

You know, Candy, it's like this...

play06:07

Imagine giving me a Lacoste shirt, okay.

play06:11

Then you went to my house,

play06:12

you saw the Lacoste shirt which was brand new when you gave me,

play06:16

and I turned it into a rag...

play06:19

"Will you get mad?"

play06:20

I was asked and I said, "Yes."

play06:23

"That's what God feels for you."

play06:27

Because you're making a rag out of your life and dignity.

play06:31

I was startled...

play06:33

"Okay..."

play06:35

"...I'm okay now."

play06:36

Then I realized so many things:

play06:38

You do not quarrel when you're both alone;

play06:41

there were so many signs in front of us,

play06:44

but due to being hardheaded...

play06:48

"We still continue what we want even though God is sending us so many signs."

play06:52

It's in front of you, right?

play06:55

You know it already, but you dismiss it.

play06:59

"You don't want to follow God's will and God's hand."

play07:02

You want your own way.

play07:03

- "This is what I want." - Yes.

play07:05

- So you fought till the very end. - Yes.

play07:07

- Until he was the one who walked away. - mhmm...

play07:10

- When Quentin was a month old. - Yes.

play07:12

What did you notice to Quentin when he was growing up?

play07:16

Actually, it's not me; it was my... it was my mom.

play07:20

She said, "Have his eyes checked."

play07:22

It's either cross-eyed or wall-eyed.

play07:24

So I brought him to an eye doctor, a child eye doctor...

play07:30

they checked him...

play07:31

Suddenly I'm told: "Go to a developmental doctor."

play07:35

- How old was Quentin then? - 9 months.

play07:37

I went to a developmental doctor; they have a checklist there,

play07:41

and most were "yes" from that checklist.

play07:44

It had numbers from one to five, and I'm like all five's.

play07:48

I said, "Ah... okay."

play07:48

What were those questions that have numbers?

play07:51

Did he crawl?

play07:53

- No. He did not crawl. - ohh...

play07:56

- It was vital for the developmental stages. - Yes, every month.

play07:59

Yes. I'm asked if he made an "ooh" sound?

play08:03

None so far.

play08:05

Is he into circles? Yes, he likes them?

play08:08

He's more focused on circles.

play08:11

Does he tiptoe? Did he try to tiptoe?

play08:14

- Yes. - mmm...

play08:16

He's trying to tiptoe.

play08:17

Reaches something... then tiptoes, but feet aren't flat on the floor.

play08:23

Doctor said:

play08:25

Let's go to an OT... Occupational Therapist,

play08:29

then to a speech, and physical therapist.

play08:33

I said, "What's happening?"

play08:35

Doctor said:

play08:36

I will not give your son a diagnose at this point because it's very early,

play08:40

but I want you to go to a therapy...

play08:42

(a therapist)

play08:44

Your son is... different.

play08:49

Have you heard about ADHD...

play08:52

...and autism? Doctor asked me.

play08:55

So I'm like this...

play08:56

So I was, at that time...

play08:59

I was recovering from a marital breakup,

play09:02

I went inside the car, and I said: "Okay. Go! What's the plan?"

play09:06

"Let's do this."

play09:07

(that's my mindset)

play09:10

I was told by the doctor "no time to delay"

play09:14

because every day counts for your child.

play09:18

But it hadn't dawned on me.

play09:22

When the therapy started...

play09:24

(frequently)

play09:26

- that's when it dawned on me... - It sank in.

play09:28

Yes.

play09:30

What sank in?

play09:32

Ah...

play09:34

This can't be solved by therapy only.

play09:38

This may be for life.

play09:42

Even medicines can't,

play09:43

like taking a paracetamol then it's cured.

play09:47

Ah...

play09:48

Then I see other children,

play09:50

I said: "Oh my gosh! My son's different."

play09:55

Then I started to...

play09:57

notice other kids outside, I observe them...

play10:01

"Ah, yes."

play10:02

These kids are talking, but my son hasn't.

play10:04

He's not walking either.

play10:07

Ah..

play10:07

And the therapist told me:

play10:10

We're not sure if your son can walk or talk.

play10:16

Ah, I see.

play10:19

Being a mother as well, that's hard to process.

play10:23

- A first time mom? - Yeah!

play10:25

But at that time, I was like...

play10:28

"What will I do? Lord, what shall I do?"

play10:30

I have nothing...

play10:32

- I have nothing left... - Nothing.

play10:36

(none)

play10:38

You'll just plead it in a prayer,

play10:40

so you just pray about it.

play10:43

What did you say to God?

play10:45

What I really told Him was...

play10:49

"Help."

play10:53

And secondly, I said: "Lord..."

play10:57

"...be a father."

play11:01

(because my father's gone)

play11:03

but I said: "Lord, Father God..."

play11:06

"...be a father to me and a father to Quentin."

play11:09

People asked if I madly questioned God.

play11:12

I did not reach that point.

play11:15

I did not blame Him or questioned many things...

play11:20

I believe my mindset was...

play11:23

all about the solutions,

play11:25

maybe that's just my personality.

play11:27

I'm like, "What needs to be done?"

play11:30

(that's me)

play11:32

"How can we help and how can we move forward?"

play11:34

- blaming won't solve things. - mhmm...

play11:36

Our breakup was also a blessing, everything was a blessing.

play11:41

"Everything is a blessing."

play11:43

The breakup was like the Lord's preparation for me.

play11:47

He changed my character, he changed my mindset,

play11:50

my perception about things, to be ready for Quentin.

play11:54

What changed? How did God change you?

play11:58

How did He prepare you for Quentin?

play12:01

"Before, I felt like..."

play12:04

"...my husband is my god."

play12:06

My life revolved around him.

play12:09

"I need to know where he is"

play12:11

All I did was to be like a detective, right?

play12:14

Where is he? What's he doing?

play12:16

(those thoughts)

play12:17

- It revolved around him. - Yes, because I was always...

play12:21

doubtful and suspicious.

play12:25

Then I've realized that...

play12:28

"My gosh! This is not it."

play12:30

When you're tired and you offer it all to the Lord,

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like everything unfolds and it becomes a miracle.

play12:37

The burden gets lighter, right?

play12:39

So when Quentin came, this was the challenge upfront...

play12:43

"Ah, God has a reason."

play12:46

I know there is a reason for this.

play12:49

Did you find the reason?

play12:51

Today, I'm thinking...

play12:55

if Quentin was not like this,

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I might be still living my old life.

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Right?

play13:02

I would still go out,

play13:04

I would still be doing my vices.

play13:08

With all the affirmations I'm getting...

play13:11

I've realized: "Ah..."

play13:14

"...there are mothers who undergo this as well."

play13:17

mhmm...

play13:18

And they need the encouragement also,

play13:21

and they need hope.

play13:22

- That's why you made this book? - Yes! It's a journal of...

play13:26

what I went through...

play13:29

like finding a school, therapist, doctor—it's there.

play13:33

You said that Quentin is a miracle...

play13:36

Yes. He's my ticket to heaven because...

play13:40

I've learned a lot from him:

play13:44

Like patience, tolerance...

play13:48

and how to live simply.

play13:51

(having a simple life)

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He's so grateful and appreciative of simple things.

play13:58

Before, you need to impress me, but now it's changed.

play14:02

I now enjoy the simple things.

play14:05

- Yes, that's fun! - [laughs]

play14:06

(that's fun)

play14:08

You're able to look at the world differently...

play14:11

- through his eyes. - Yes.

play14:13

There was a time I felt so bad, when Quentin's a bit older,

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I cried because of all the ill feelings.

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He went outside and saw me,

play14:23

then he asked: "What's wrong, mom?"

play14:26

I said...

play14:28

you know, that someone did...

play14:30

"Someone did something really bad to us."

play14:34

He asked me: "Did you do bad?"

play14:38

I said: "No. You have no problem."

play14:41

I realized that when you scold a child,

play14:44

We say....

play14:45

"That's bad..." [scold him]

play14:47

"Did you do something bad?" No. Good.

play14:49

[you don't scold him]

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- It's that simple. - Yes.

play14:52

Simplifies our lives.

play14:53

If you haven't done something bad, "You're good."

play14:56

- mhmm... - We have no issues.

play14:59

Then I've realized one thing...

play15:02

this was taught to me by my spiritual counselor:

play15:04

If you want to live peacefully with Quentin,

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and not have challenges in life, remember this:

play15:18

That's so true.

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Right? While other kids...

play15:23

brag about their "high" grades.

play15:27

I'm different:

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- "He did his best!" - [laughs]

play15:31

- Right? - mhmm...

play15:33

While other kids are being honored with medals...

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Mine's best in attendance; never absent.

play15:39

[laughs]

play15:40

He's never late as well.

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- We're not late. - We're not late.

play15:44

- And he's best in costume. - Yeah!

play15:46

- He's best in costume. - [laughs]

play15:48

- He'll wear any type of costume. - [laughs]

play15:52

You learn to be grateful with what you have.

play15:56

Yes, because I realized so much:

play15:58

Our hands, we don't realize how...

play16:02

how blessed we are that we can touch, we can feel,

play16:05

we have grips, we have holds.

play16:08

When it was our first therapy with Quentin,

play16:12

a twenty-five cent,

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needs to be picked and placed in a coin box,

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"Very tough."

play16:19

Quentin cries over that twenty-five cent,

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- ohh... - because he couldn't.

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He couldn't pick it up and put it inside.

play16:27

ahh...

play16:28

- For us, that's nothing! - It's nothing.

play16:32

Right?

play16:33

- To him, it's hard. - That's his frustration?

play16:35

Yes.

play16:36

Buttoning...

play16:38

for us...

play16:38

- Yes, no need to think. - Yes, it's almost automatic.

play16:41

For them...

play16:43

"It's an activity. It's a task."

play16:46

And the mere fact that we can comprehend and communicate...

play16:50

- And express our feelings... - Yes, express our feelings is a blessing.

play16:55

(it's really a blessing)

play16:57

What's the hardest part?

play16:59

Actually, it's the rejection of many kinds.

play17:02

- Discrimination? - Yes...

play17:05

- Lots of it. - That's the hardest?

play17:08

- For a mother... - Yeah.

play17:10

...because for him, it's nothing.

play17:14

When you attend parties and no one plays with your child.

play17:19

So what Quentin did,

play17:22

when we're attending a party, he'll bring his toys.

play17:26

Maybe he know no one will play with him.

play17:30

And as a single mom,

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- I had experience also those schools... - mhmm...

play17:37

that don't accept single moms.

play17:40

- Really? - Really.

play17:41

There was a time... graduation of Quentin:

play17:47

- He's in the practice... - mhmm...

play17:50

My son repeated kinder.

play17:52

(isn't that great?)

play17:54

- He mastered kinder. - Yes, master's in kinder.

play17:57

Did your kids have master's in kinder? None.

play17:59

- He did it twice. - Yes, it's twice.

play18:01

- He mastered kinder. - Yes.

play18:03

Then, my mom wanted him to big schools:

play18:05

All of you went to big schools while your son...

play18:07

studies in a small school. So how did we got in?

play18:11

My mom knew the owner of the school.

play18:13

That's how we got in.

play18:16

Sadly, they didn't let him graduate kinder;

play18:19

although he's done it twice,

play18:20

- he's supposed to be in grade 1. - Yes.

play18:23

He did kinder 3 times.

play18:24

- He mastered it. - He mastered kinder.

play18:27

So during our third time, our maid said:

play18:31

"Ma'am..."

play18:33

"...we'll have a picture."

play18:35

We'll have a picture, toga, practice...

play18:39

Then...

play18:41

I said: "Are you sure? Last year, we had those."

play18:44

We had a graduation picture last year,

play18:47

- but he didn't graduate. - Oh, okay.

play18:49

She said: "Ma'am, this is sure."

play18:51

- Okay. All set? - I said, "How come?"

play18:53

- There's practice... - Okay, there's practice.

play18:56

- They let Quentin practice. - Okay.

play18:58

Then one morning, she called after my taping;

play19:03

(crying)

play19:05

????????? - like that.

play19:06

- I said, "What?!" - [laughs]

play19:09

Quen-tin-was-was-fulled-out.

play19:11

- What full out? Fulled-out. - [laughs]

play19:14

What fulled-out?

play19:15

Removed from the line. It's pull out! Pull out!

play19:18

I said, "Why pull him?"

play19:20

She said: "They didn't let him grad duet."

play19:22

What? "He's not grad..." Wait for me there!

play19:25

- I went to the school. - Okay.

play19:26

I saw Quentin playing on a corner.

play19:29

Our maid was crying on the other side.

play19:33

Then...

play19:34

...to make a long story short:

play19:36

The principal saw the incident.

play19:40

I went to the principal and asked, "Why?"

play19:43

"He will not graduate."

play19:47

Graduation is not only for kinders, there are other levels too.

play19:50

What if he throws a tantrum? It's embarrassing.

play19:54

I said, "Ah...we'll be practicing."

play19:57

Once were alone...

play20:00

I said, "Please let him graduate already."

play20:04

"No." There's no assurance that he'll behave.

play20:07

How many time did he throw a tantrum?

play20:11

(when there's field day)

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That's true when Quentin was young,

play20:15

"He'll have a tantrum during programs."

play20:17

So we're always best in walkout,

play20:19

- you take him and leave... - Yeah.

play20:21

Then you'll say:

play20:22

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," like that.

play20:25

ahh...

play20:26

So what will you do when all levels are there?

play20:30

Including the high school graduation.

play20:33

Principal asked...

play20:35

"What if he throws one?"

play20:36

"You've let the child practice."

play20:38

"Please consider him."

play20:40

But it didn't work.

play20:42

So I said, "Even just giving him a blank bond paper."

play20:47

So to make a long story short:

play20:48

I cried and pleaded to the principal.

play20:52

But it did not work.

play20:54

We're now heading home, with Quentin,

play20:57

and our yaya who's still crying.

play21:00

She's in front of us, crying.

play21:01

- I said, "Stop it now because I'm affected." - [laughs]

play21:04

[sobs]

play21:07

Now comes Quentin, who's still not good in speaking.

play21:12

He said, "Waz wong?"

play21:14

What's wrong? Waz wong.

play21:15

(like that)

play21:18

I said, "Nothing."

play21:22

Then I said to him:

play21:23

"Quentin, do you want to go back there later?"

play21:28

We'll go back later so we can practice

play21:30

going up and down the stage...

play21:34

for your graduation, "Let's go back."

play21:36

Up down up down, we'll practice and then play after.

play21:42

He told me,

play21:44

he reached for my hand...

play21:45

and said: "No, ma."

play21:49

He said, "I'm good."

play21:53

He said, "I'm K."

play21:56

I'm good. I'm okay.

play21:58

That made me cry more because he said:

play22:01

"No, ma. We're good."

play22:03

(we're good)

play22:05

Because of that...

play22:07

- I befriended our barangay captain. - [laughs]

play22:11

What an amazing journey!

play22:13

I befriended our barangay captain.

play22:17

I organize events that's why I have a red carpet.

play22:20

I organize our own graduation in the plaza.

play22:24

You let him graduate?

play22:27

- Only for us. [laughs]

play22:29

I invited those from our church.

play22:32

To clap hands.

play22:33

- Then he graduated? - He graduated in the plaza.

play22:36

- Did he throw a tantrum in that graduation? - No.

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- He's classmates with his yaya. - [laughs]

play22:45

Wow!

play22:47

mhmm...

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I think...

play22:51

all parents, all mothers...

play22:55

who go through that...

play22:58

will also find a way to rise above it.

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Because I think all mothers...

play23:04

- Want the best for their kids. - Yes.

play23:06

And they will just cope.

play23:09

When someone asks:

play23:10

How do you balance your time?

play23:13

- Being a mother? And at work? - For work.

play23:15

You just can't reply...

play23:17

"I have a good schedule from 8 to 9."

play23:19

- You can't! - Yes.

play23:20

- There's none. - You'll just wonder...

play23:22

- "How did I do that?" - Correct!

play23:23

- I'm always asked with those. - Yes.

play23:25

"I don't really know."

play23:27

How did you handle those years of being a single mom;

play23:30

while working;

play23:31

then Quentin has special needs,

play23:34

"How did you do that?"

play23:35

- I don't know... - Right?

play23:36

Because it will just happen.

play23:40

It's like you're born with it.

play23:44

- That's why... - Maternal instinct.

play23:46

Multi-tasking, also?

play23:48

Only mothers can do the laundry while they're taking care of kids.

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- While scolding another child. - While watching TV.

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[laughs]

play23:57

Right?

play23:57

- That's a mother. - Only the mothers.

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- Can do it all. - Can do it all.

play24:02

I think all mother's are like that...

play24:04

because you know you have to do it because it's your purpose:

play24:07

"Mothers are made for a purpose, and God will help you do it."

play24:12

Make it happen because that is your purpose.

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"It's tough but it's rewarding to be a mom."

play24:18

That's true.

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Related Tags
MotherhoodResilienceSpecial NeedsSingle MomEmotional JourneyParenting ChallengesFamily SupportInspirationalLife LessonsOvercoming Adversity