Exploring Your Gender Identity: 3 Key Mistakes to Avoid | Expert Advice!
Summary
TLDRDr. Z, a clinical psychologist specializing in transgender care, discusses the top three mistakes individuals can make when starting their gender journey. These include not identifying the root cause of gender dysphoria, misunderstanding the personal experience of dysphoria, and lacking clear goals and a plan. Dr. Z emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, understanding one's unique experience, and creating a tailored path to navigate the complexities of gender identity.
Takeaways
- π§ββοΈ Dr. Z is a clinical psychologist specializing in transgender care and emphasizes the importance of understanding the root cause of gender dysphoria for each individual.
- π« Avoid the first mistake: Not understanding the root cause of gender dysphoria, as it can lead to inappropriate treatment paths and unnecessary distress.
- π The second mistake to avoid is not grasping the personal experience of gender dysphoria, which can vary greatly between individuals and is influenced by various factors.
- π The third mistake is not having a clear goal or plan for navigating one's gender path, which can result in disorganized and potentially harmful steps.
- π Gender dysphoria can be complex and nuanced, affecting people with different backgrounds and mental health predispositions differently.
- π€ It's crucial to self-reflect on one's own experience of gender dysphoria to understand its severity, triggers, and personal coping mechanisms.
- π Medical and surgical transition is not the only solution for gender dysphoria and may not be suitable for everyone based on their unique circumstances.
- π Having a clear understanding of one's gender dysphoria and its impact can help in making informed decisions about treatment and transition.
- π£οΈ A well-defined plan and goal can guide individuals through their gender journey, helping to minimize distress and maximize self-affirmation.
- π¬ Dr. Z encourages viewers to subscribe and follow for more informative content on transgender care and related topics.
- β³ It's never too late to reevaluate one's understanding of gender dysphoria, its impact, and the steps taken towards addressing it.
Q & A
What is the main focus of Dr. Z's channel?
-Dr. Z's channel focuses on providing specialized information and support for transgender care, particularly for those starting on their gender path.
Why is it important to find the root issue of gender dysphoria according to Dr. Z?
-Identifying the root issue of gender dysphoria is crucial because it informs the treatment path and helps individuals understand whether their distress stems from gender identity or another underlying cause.
What are some examples of other issues that can cause gender dysphoria-like feelings?
-Examples include severe sexual abuse, trauma, other mental health concerns, body dysmorphia, and even comfort with one's gender assigned at birth.
Why is it a mistake to not understand the root cause of gender dysphoria?
-Not understanding the root cause can lead individuals to pursue treatments or transitions that may not be alleviating or helpful for their specific situation, potentially causing more distress.
What does Dr. Z suggest is the second mistake people make on their gender path?
-The second mistake is not having a clear understanding of what gender dysphoria means to the individual personally, including its severity, scope, and nuances in relation to their own experiences.
Why is it important to understand the personal experience of gender dysphoria?
-Understanding personal experiences of gender dysphoria helps individuals determine the appropriate treatment steps and whether medical or surgical transition is necessary or if other coping mechanisms might be more suitable.
What is the third mistake Dr. Z discusses in the script?
-The third mistake is not having a clear goal or plan when starting on the gender path, which can lead to confusion, unnecessary suffering, and potentially ineffective or harmful steps.
Why is having a clear goal and plan essential in navigating the gender path?
-A clear goal and plan provide direction, minimize unnecessary suffering, and help individuals make informed decisions that are best suited to their unique circumstances and needs.
What does Dr. Z suggest can be done if someone realizes their gender identity was not the root cause of their dysphoria?
-Dr. Z suggests that it's never too late to reevaluate, understand the root cause, and adjust the treatment plan or direction accordingly.
How does Dr. Z define the term 'gender path' in the context of the script?
-In the script, 'gender path' refers to the journey an individual takes in understanding and addressing their gender dysphoria, which may or may not include transitioning.
What advice does Dr. Z give for individuals who are unsure about whether to transition?
-Dr. Z advises individuals to understand the root cause of their dysphoria, evaluate their personal experience of it, and consider all potential avenues and coping mechanisms before deciding on a transition.
Outlines
π©ββοΈ Introduction to Dr. Z's Channel and Gender Path Mistakes
Dr. Z, a clinical psychologist specializing in transgender care, welcomes viewers to the channel and encourages subscription and following on Instagram for support and informative content. The video aims to discuss the top three mistakes made when starting on one's gender path. Dr. Z emphasizes the importance of these mistakes, as they can significantly impact the journey and decisions related to gender identity and dysphoria.
π Identifying the Root Cause of Gender Dysphoria
The first mistake highlighted is not understanding the root cause of gender dysphoria. Dr. Z explains that while gender identity can be a cause for some, for others it may stem from other issues such as body dysmorphia, past trauma, or mental health conditions. Understanding the root cause is crucial as it informs the treatment path and helps avoid unnecessary medical interventions. The video provides examples to illustrate the importance of this distinction and how it can lead to different therapeutic approaches.
π§ Personalizing the Experience of Gender Dysphoria
The second mistake discussed is the lack of personal understanding of what gender dysphoria means to the individual. Dr. Z stresses that experiences of dysphoria can vary greatly depending on personality, environment, and coping mechanisms. The video encourages self-reflection on the nature and severity of one's dysphoria, suggesting that without this understanding, individuals may opt for inappropriate or premature treatments, such as surgery, without considering other potential avenues for addressing their distress.
π― Setting Clear Goals and Planning the Gender Path
The third and final mistake presented is not having clear goals or a plan when navigating the gender path. Dr. Z points out that without understanding the root cause of dysphoria and its personal impact, it's challenging to establish meaningful objectives and a strategic plan. The video advises against a 'spaghetti against the wall' approach and instead promotes thoughtful consideration of one's unique situation, including personal goals, support systems, and potential obstacles, to create a tailored path forward.
π€ Reevaluating and Adjusting the Gender Journey
In conclusion, Dr. Z emphasizes that it's never too late to reevaluate one's gender journey. The video encourages viewers to reassess the root cause of their dysphoria, understand their personal experience, and set clear goals with a well-thought-out plan. Dr. Z assures that with clarity and understanding, individuals can feel more confident and better equipped to make decisions about their gender identity, even if it means adjusting or completely changing their current path.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Clinical Psychologist
π‘Transgender Care
π‘Gender Dysphoria
π‘Root Cause
π‘Gender Identity
π‘Body Dysmorphia
π‘Coping Style
π‘Transition
π‘Mistakes
π‘Plan and Goal
Highlights
Dr. Z introduces themselves as a clinical psychologist specializing in transgender care.
The importance of subscribing and following Dr. Z's content for informative and specific information on gender identity.
The video discusses the top three mistakes to avoid when starting on one's gender path.
Mistake one: Understanding the root cause of gender dysphoria, which may not always be gender identity.
Gender dysphoria can be experienced by individuals with various backgrounds and for different reasons.
The significance of identifying the root cause to inform treatment paths and decisions.
Mistake two: Gaining a clear understanding of what gender dysphoria means to the individual.
The individuality of gender dysphoria experiences and the importance of self-assessment.
Mistake three: The necessity of having a clear goal and plan for one's gender journey.
The potential pitfalls of not having a clear plan, such as taking unnecessary or harmful steps.
The value of reevaluating one's gender journey and making adjustments as needed.
Dr. Z emphasizes that it's never too late to reassess and create a plan for one's gender path.
The potential for individuals to find relief through psychotherapy rather than medical intervention.
The importance of considering one's personal ecosystem, such as relationships and career, when planning a gender transition.
Dr. Z's encouragement for viewers to comment and share their thoughts on the video's content.
Transcripts
hi everyone I'm Dr Z I'm a clinical
psychologist specializing in transgender
care welcome to my channel if you're new
make sure you subscribe if you are
regular visitor who have not yet
subscribed make sure you also do
everybody has got to also follow my
Instagram account linked below when you
follow me on here or on Instagram you
are not only supporting me but you're
also helping a lot of other people find
this content and right now more than
ever we need to support professionals
and allies who are able to deliver very
informative very specific information so
please go ahead and subscribe and make
sure you support me having said that
today I want to share with you the top
three mistakes that you can potentially
make when you're starting on your gender
path these three mistakes are really
really important they're really really
important to pay attention to no matter
where you at they're really important
for you to analyze if you perhaps are
further along to still go back and see
what you can do in terms of maybe
Implement some of the things that I will
be sharing with you this three I would
call mistakes yes three mistakes are
very important and the reason why
they're very important is because I have
seen by now a lot of individuals who
come to me for individual therapy after
either trying to do things solo now
to be clear you don't need to see a
gender specialist in order to move
forward on your gender path you can
absolutely do the solo gender therapy is
not mandatory but people who some people
who have come to me have done it solo
and as a result they just felt like they
either didn't really get very far uh
experienced a lot of roadblocks a lot of
challenging feel as a result more
confused I've also seen individuals who'
been working with other so-called
claiming to be gender therapists but in
reality uh they did not had any
experience or lacked significant
experience to be able to help
individuals make right decisions so this
is where the three mistakes stem from
without further Ado the first mistake
that I would recommend for anybody
studying on the gender path to address
is when you are starting to experience
gender 40 remember you can experience
that early in childhood and may have
history Decades of living with it or you
may have had a sudden onset of it when
suddenly one day you walk up uh and you
just feel like wait a second I'm all of
a sudden feeling a deep disconnection
with my gender assigned at Birth
regardless of when you started to
experience gender dysphoria the very
first thing that is really really is
important is to find out what is a root
issue underneath your gender dysphoria
meaning where does your gender dysphoria
come from and I know that a lot of you
might be quick to say well dror Z the
root issue is gender identity and I'm
going to say that is absolutely not true
not for everybody for a lot of people
yes it is but for a lot of other people
the root issue the root cause is
something else I've been speaking more
Wally and much more about this because
this is so important gender Doria is
very complex it is very nuanced the
reality is that all types of people
experience gender dysphoria sis people
who have complete comfort with their
gender sented birth May and do
experience dysphoria people who had
severe sexual abuse not all again
were're not here to pinpoint anybody
people had severe trauma people who have
perhaps struggled with other severe
secondary um type of U mental concern or
diagnosis individuals who had body
dysmorphia any of those individuals and
more can experience what feels like
gender dysphoria when the root cause is
something else so why is it so important
to understand what the root cause is
because the understanding root cause is
going to really inform for you what
you're going to do about your gender
it's really going to inform what
treatment what paths you're going to
take here's a very clear C example for
somebody who comes in and they present
gender with gender 40 and they've been
diagnosed with
gender but after some time the
psychologist has realized that wait a
second the root cause for you right now
is actually the body dysmorphia you feel
versus somebody who comes in and they
experien gender dority be diagnosed with
gender Doria and the root cause is
really steming from gender identity
issues here's two individuals both feel
gender dysphoria two different root
causes well guess what for a lot of
people who may have body dysmorphia
working on that and addressing that may
lead to them feeling much more
comfortable with their bodies and ter
for eradicate the distress they feel in
regards to their gender assign and birth
ver for people for whom the root cost
each gender identity no amount of
psychotherapy talking there and trying
to make them comfortable with body is
not going to work because if gender
identity and if they feel strongly in
congruent with their body because how
the body is anchored and tied to the
gender assigned at Birth well guess what
they going to need a different type of
solution so this is a great example to
show you so understanding the root cause
is going to be number one it's going to
be really important a lot of you who
have struggled with dysphoria from a
young age for you it's a slam D you know
it's been gender dys and you know it's
been tied to your gender identity since
you were little because you felt it on a
viscer level you experience it year
after year and so for you you already
know very clearly your root cause truly
is gender identity but this is why it's
important this is and one of the most
important things is to prevent people
from taking the route of solution of
treatment that may not be actually as
alleviating or
helpful I'm going to say and bring up
the tradition histories again because we
are do we do experience a lot of young
adults with the tradition and it's not
good or bad it is just deeply
unfortunate now a lot of people who are
DET transitioning they DET transitioning
because their identity has evolved into
something
else yes our identities are not static
for some of us they're more fluid they
tend to evolve and sometimes what we
felt like we identified as may have
shift over time and yet there are some
people who
unfortunately realize that gender
identity was never a root issue it was
never the cause of dysphoria and that's
unfortunate because people do go through
things such as hormones especially
masculinizing hormones that has much
more reversible things uh effects on the
body or G dieric surgeries and this is
why examining crot issue is important
for all of you you first of all it will
give you a peace of mind and I think
that's very valuable to have and second
of all hey I honestly don't know any
adult in my experience who would not let
me put it that way gender transition for
100% of adults I work with is a very
challenging path even for people who
know it will make them in end
happier almost everybody I work with
would rather not go through it if they
did not had to so if some people
actually have an Avenue to discover that
it's something that may not be tied to
gender identity as a root cause and can
be addressed with Psychotherapy alone I
in my opinion that would be a
relief and I think that's important to
address so mistake number one is not
really understanding what is the root
cause what is causing it mistake number
two that I see people make make when
they start their gender transition path
is not really getting a grasp and
understanding of what gender dysphoria
means to
you gender dysphoria no matter how it is
written in DSM which is diagnostic
statistical manual psychiatric disorders
no matter how when you Google it and AI
brings up description or or even I tell
you what G 40 is no matter what anybody
tells you it's a generalized snapshat
shot the DSM description or the Google
description of what gender what is that
you see is there to create a blueprint a
baseline a backbone on top of this
blueprint and
Baseline what builds up what I build up
when I work with people
is um your personality type your
character any other mental health
predispositions uh your surroundings
your environment you
upbringing uh your your level of
understanding what gender D is your
level of relationship to your body
whether you are thinking type or feeling
type there's so much goes on top of that
Baseline and as you can realize once all
of that gets layered on top of the
blueprint not two individuals
experiences of the dys for is going to
look alike sure there's be some
similarities and overlap but how
somebody who is for example um in their
toris has zero
support uh also on top of that has
anxious
predispositions and also struggles with
something else is going to experience
gender dys 4 is going to be drastically
different than somebody in their 40 even
for example has support has no other
predispositions do you see what I mean
so it's really important important for
all of you to start asking yourself if
you're not working with therapist to
start asking
yourself what is what does gender is
what it feel like to me this is why a
lot of people freak out when they hear
that for somebody it is so severe they
literally Daydream and fantasize about
cutting particular body parts some
people just get very confused by that
severity because they think this is
nowhere near what I experienc for me
just I feel very neutral about my
gentles for example it's because
everybody experiences this stress
different somebody's coping style might
be better than others if somebody's
coping style is every time this for hits
and I feel anxious and worried about it
I engage in healthy coping and I
exercise I acknowledge I'm feeling
dysphoria but I'm going to ground my
body in exercise and I'm just going to
shake up that energy but that person is
going to feel lesser distress of
dysphoria than somebody who's hoping
style is I'm just going to pour myself a
glass of wine and I'm going to then
drink a whole bottle in order to forget
that I experienced dysphoria and now
you're stuffing it psychologically one
is acknowledging and does something
about it in a healthy way another one is
stuffing it and really uh negating the
fact that it exists in unhealthy way and
paying for it more drastically the next
day by feeling more hung over by feeling
unwell again just simple just as simple
as coping Style can lead to different
experiences of gender dority and how it
will manifest in those two individuals
so understanding asking yourself those
things if you're not working with
therapist how do I feel why do I feel
the same way when it gets really bad
what's causing it's really bad have I
been under stress lately which by the
way as the stress level goes up this
what it tends to go up so all of those
things are going to give you an
understanding of how you're responding
and feeling about it now why is this so
important important and why is this can
lead to a mistake if you don't
understand your dysphoria and how it
orients you you Z can't really um think
about which first treatment steps to
engage in right you can't really uh
that's actually when people fall into
the Trap of oh I'm just going to go have
this surgery now because that seems like
the first step to do versus wait a
second what is the biggest distress
where am I getting the most distress is
it really particular body body part and
if it is which body part is it is it
something else could it be my facial
hair that is giving me the most distress
versus jumping in the surgers or any
other kind of things so it will inform
in other ways how you're going to move
forward for a lot of individuals who are
in a position where you are even
wondering is this transition worth it
for me you're wondering whether it's
going to benefit or make your life
better A lot of times people who do
Wonder this are people who have a lot of
their own other personal ecosystems
build around them such as you um have
you know you're in a relationship you
most likely have children or a child you
also have most likely an established
careers and as a result of that you feel
very fearful of taking the transition
path even though you might really want
to because you don't you feel like
you're going to give up everything you
have built over here you feel like
you're going to lose everything you're
going to have over here I have a lot of
people who work who I work with who ask
me what else can I do other than
transition and this is where
understanding what is your level of
distress is crucial I had clients who'
been with me for a very long time who
have never taken any transition steps
why because we're constantly working and
we're constantly analyzing their coping
face and we're constantly working on
making sure that their coping are as
healthy as possible to minimize the
distress now I wish that they took the
plunge and transition because I know
they'll be happier of course but guess
what it's not for me to decide everybody
has to decide based on their
circumstances and some people truly feel
like it's better for them to find a way
to cope with it for the rest of their
life and so the golden becomes all right
I'm going to respect your decision let's
find a way to cope with it in the most
healthiest way which actually serves to
minimi minimize the distress
versus really increase the distress you
feel so this is mistake number two I see
people don't have a grasp of
understanding what their distress is
where it's coming from what's what's
contributing the most and here they jump
into things especially for example in
today's culture uh people are very quick
to equate oh gender D equals your trans
oh it equals you must go through medical
and surgical transition and people don't
give time to themselves to think is
there other potential Avenues and while
medical and surgical without a doubt is
incredibly important and absolutely does
safe lives it's not for everybody so
this is mistake number two not
understanding the severity the scope um
the nuances of dysphoria in relationship
to you not to anybody else but to you
and mistake number three that I see a
lot of people make when they start under
gender path is not really having a clear
goal nor a
plan and the first two mistakes that I
said are going to fall right into the
Trap if you don't know what the root
cause of your gender dority is and if
you don't understand the scope and how
gender dority presents for you
specifically in realm of your context
and your subjective
reality how then are you supposed to see
what your goals are how then are you
supposed to know what your plan is see a
lot of people who come to me who just
kind of you knows that analogy threw
spaghetti up on a wall and hope
something is going to stick meaning they
tried everything and anything as the
result some things have backfired
something things happened too fast for
them quite traumatize them to be frankly
and now they're sh shocked they still
want to go out there and leave their
authentic selves but they just don't
know where else to start or how to
navigate it if you don't understand what
your struggling with what the root cause
of gender dysphoria and how gender
dysphoria presents for you again you're
going to be sailing there and meets
speak ocean without knowing where you're
going and you are going to be lost in
the very least if you're not going to be
lost you are going to spend a lot of
time you most likely are going to spend
longer time suffering which is for than
necessary you might also take steps that
are not really going to necessarily
benefit you you might do things in order
and in a way it's also not going to be
the best giving your circumstances while
there is no particular manual right
there's no particular oh you do this in
six months you do this and this no
there's only manual for you and your
manual is situated in your context it's
situated in your realm of your reality
and if you are coming to me and we're
working together and your biggest
concern is coming out at your work
because you don't feel like your work
environment is inclusive guess what
coming out at work is not going to be
your first or second or third step why
because then it's going to create more
anxiety more stress for you that you
don't need right now especially when
there's so many other steps on your path
you can take before you come to that
place and all of the steps leading up to
that will make you feel more affirmed
more confident so then when you do come
out at work you are not so wrapped up in
fear and anxiety this is what I mean but
this can only happen if you know what
you plan and goals is and where you are
going everybody has different goals not
everybody's goal is to pass not
everybody's goal is surgery not
everybody's goal is even hormones like I
said some people's goal is how can I
survive this how can I live with it long
term how can I cope with it long term
some people goal is how can I transition
as fast as possible some people goal is
how can I transition in a way where
there's less obstacles I run against and
all of that has to be informed and again
situated in your reality in your context
in your circumstances in your in your
subjective experience to not only
yourself but to people around you not to
mention your typology your personality
so many other factors are going to come
into play so those are the three most
biggest mistakes I see people make when
they start under gender pass whatever
the pass may be for you I'm mindful not
to say gender transition because not
everybody seeks transition again not
understanding what the root CA or not
evaluating what the root cause is um not
really understanding or grasping how
this what presents for you remember it
the way it presents for you is different
the way it present s to everybody else
because you are unique the way you cope
is unique the way you see the world is
unique the way you mind work is uni the
way you process stress and and anxiety
is going to be unique to you so of
course this what is going to be very
it's going to really be seen and felt
differently for you and for anybody else
and not having a clear plan and goal so
no matter where you at right now you can
still apply all of this it's never never
too late to go back and to reexamine
what the root issue it is never too late
to go back and to understand how gender
this presents for you it is never ever
ever too late to reevaluate where you
sales are taking you and it's that big
caution and to create a plan to create
goal and to shift the direction you're
going in you can absolutely do it that's
why I'm making this video there's never
such thing as too late you can turn back
you can re-evaluate you can apply the
things and trust me you're going to be
in a much better position you're going
to have a very clear understanding Clear
Vision when you have Clarity when you
have Clarity when you really understand
where gender is already coming from for
you when you understand how it feels for
you and how it presents for you and on
top of that you have a goal and a plan
well my friend let me tell you then you
are feeling so much more confident so
much ready are you going to be still
afraid yes are still going to be anxious
and fearful of course but you're going
to be in much more position than a whole
bunch of other people who have never
thought about the stream mistakes and
putting them into place comment below
let me know what your thoughts are where
you find yourself as you're watching
this video and I will see you all next
time goodbye
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