The art of conversation - 6 Minute English

Summary

In this 6 Minute English episode, Sam and Neil discuss the art of conversation. They explore the importance of listening to understand rather than just replying, emphasizing how good conversations can build bridges and improve relationships. The episode also touches on social media's impact on communication and introduces tips for having meaningful discussions. Additionally, the hosts mention a world record for the longest telephone conversation, which lasted 54 hours and 4 minutes. Key vocabulary includes 'chinwag,' 'enriched,' 'survival instinct,' 'build bridges,' 'tittle-tattle,' and 'talk over.'

Takeaways

• 😊 **Chinwag**: A chinwag is a long and pleasant conversation between friends, emphasizing the joy of communication.
• 🗣️ **Art of Conversation**: The program discusses the importance of conversations, defined as the exchange of ideas, thoughts, and feelings.
• 📱 **Social Media Impact**: With the rise of platforms like Twitter, there's concern that the art of conversation is being lost, as people are more focused on expressing opinions rather than listening.
• 🎙️ **Record-Breaking Conversation**: A world record was set in Latvia in 2012 for the longest telephone conversation, lasting 54 hours and 4 minutes.
• 👂 **Enriched by Listening**: Nihal Arthanayake emphasizes that listening enriches us by helping us understand others and ourselves better.
• 🤝 **Survival Instinct**: Nihal also mentions that conversation was a survival instinct for him growing up as a British Asian boy in a predominantly white school.
• 💬 **Listening to Understand**: There's a key difference between ‘listening to reply’ and ‘listening to understand’; the latter helps build bridges and improve relationships.
• 🌉 **Building Bridges**: Good conversations can bring people together and are seen as an art form that builds bridges between different people.
• 🗣️ **Tittle-Tattle**: Unlike good conversations, tittle-tattle refers to unkind or untrue talk about others, often disapproving.
• 🔊 **Talking Over**: Good conversation involves taking turns and not talking over someone, which means silencing others by speaking more loudly.

Q & A

What is the main topic discussed in this 6 Minute English episode?

The main topic discussed is the art of conversation, focusing on how conversations are an exchange of ideas, thoughts, and feelings, and how they can bring people together.

What is a 'chinwag' as mentioned in the script?

A 'chinwag' is a long and pleasant conversation between friends.

How does social media affect the art of conversation according to the script?

The script suggests that social media encourages people to give their opinions without always listening in return, which some believe is causing the art of conversation to be lost.

Who is Nihal Arthanayake, and what is his contribution to the topic of conversation?

Nihal Arthanayake is a DJ and BBC radio presenter who has had numerous conversations with people during his career. He wrote a book titled 'Let's Talk: How to Have Better Conversations,' where he shares his insights on improving conversation.

How did Nihal's mother's job influence his approach to conversation?

Nihal's mother was a nurse who loved talking to people, which gave Nihal the sense that listening enriches a person by adding new experiences and understanding others' perspectives.

What does Nihal mean by saying he used conversation as a 'survival instinct'?

Nihal, as a British Asian boy in a predominantly white school, used conversation as a way to make friends and protect himself, highlighting the human instinct to seek safety in potentially dangerous situations.

What is the difference between 'listening to reply' and 'listening to understand'?

'Listening to reply' involves focusing on what to say next rather than understanding the other person's point of view, while 'listening to understand' helps build bridges and improve relationships.

How can good conversation help build bridges between people?

Good conversation can improve relationships between people who are very different or do not like each other by fostering understanding and connection.

What is 'tittle-tattle,' and how does it differ from good conversation?

Tittle-tattle is talk about other people's lives that is usually unkind, disapproving, or untrue. Unlike good conversation, tittle-tattle does not build relationships or understanding.

What was the correct answer to the question about the world's longest telephone conversation?

The world's longest telephone conversation lasted 54 hours and 4 minutes.

Outlines

00:00

🎙️ The Art of Conversation and Social Media's Impact

The introduction to the BBC Learning English program '6 Minute English' discusses the importance of conversations and how the rise of social media platforms like Twitter has led to a decline in meaningful exchanges. The hosts, Sam and Neil, mention a competition in Latvia that set a world record for the longest telephone conversation, illustrating that many people still value long conversations. The program will also explore the skills involved in good conversation and introduce related vocabulary.

05:02

📚 Nihal Arthanayake on Listening and Conversation

The segment focuses on Nihal Arthanayake, a DJ and BBC radio presenter, who shares insights from his book 'Let's Talk: How to Have Better Conversations.' He emphasizes the value of listening in a conversation, which he learned from his mother, a nurse. Nihal explains that listening enriches our understanding of others and ourselves, a crucial skill he developed as a minority in a predominantly white school during the 1980s. For Nihal, conversation was not only about connection but also a survival instinct.

🗣️ Listening to Understand vs. Listening to Reply

Nihal Arthanayake discusses the difference between 'listening simply to reply' and 'listening to understand.' The former is characterized by focusing on what to say next rather than understanding the other person's point of view, while the latter builds bridges between people, fostering better relationships. He argues that good conversation is an art form that brings people together, unlike tittle-tattle, which is often unkind or untrue. Nihal's insights encourage deeper, more meaningful conversations that avoid the pitfalls of social media and political debates.

📞 World Record for Longest Conversation and Vocabulary Recap

The final segment reveals that the world record for the longest telephone conversation is 54 hours and 4 minutes. The hosts then recap the vocabulary introduced in the program: 'chinwag' refers to a long, pleasant conversation; 'enriched' means improved by adding something; 'survival instinct' is the basic drive to stay safe in dangerous situations; 'build bridges' means to improve relationships between different people; 'tittle-tattle' refers to unkind gossip; and 'talk over' means to silence someone by speaking more loudly. The program ends with a reminder to join them again for more topics and vocabulary.

Keywords

💡Chinwag

A 'chinwag' refers to a long and pleasant conversation between friends. In the context of the video, it exemplifies the type of meaningful and enjoyable conversations that the speakers are advocating for. The use of 'chinwag' highlights the importance of engaging in relaxed, informal discussions that strengthen social bonds.

💡Conversation

Conversation is defined as the exchange of ideas, thoughts, and feelings that occurs when people talk to each other. The video emphasizes the art of conversation as a critical social skill that helps people connect, understand one another, and enrich their lives. The importance of genuine conversations is contrasted with the superficial exchanges often seen on social media.

💡Enriched

'Enriched' means being improved by having something else added to it. In the video, Nihal Arthanayake mentions that listening during conversations enriches individuals by allowing them to gain new perspectives and insights. This enrichment through conversation is presented as a way to grow personally and socially.

💡Survival Instinct

Survival instinct refers to the basic human and animal instinct to act in a way that will keep them safe in dangerous situations. Nihal mentions that for him, conversation was a survival instinct, especially as a British Asian boy in a predominantly white community. Conversations helped him navigate social challenges and build connections that provided protection.

💡Listening to Understand

'Listening to understand' means focusing on comprehending the other person's perspective rather than merely planning a response. The video contrasts this with 'listening simply to reply,' highlighting that truly understanding others through conversation can build bridges between people and improve relationships.

💡Build Bridges

To 'build bridges' is to improve relationships between people who are very different or who do not get along. In the video, the concept of building bridges through conversation is emphasized as a way to overcome differences and foster understanding, showing how effective communication can unite people.

💡Tittle-tattle

'Tittle-tattle' refers to gossip or talk about other people's lives that is often unkind, disapproving, or untrue. The video contrasts good conversation with tittle-tattle, suggesting that while gossip can be harmful, meaningful conversations have the power to connect people and enrich their lives.

💡Talking Over

Talking over someone means to silence or drown them out by speaking more loudly or persistently. The video highlights that good conversation involves taking turns and listening, rather than overpowering others in the conversation. This concept is linked to the importance of mutual respect in communication.

💡Art of Conversation

The 'art of conversation' refers to the skillful and thoughtful exchange of ideas that is more than just casual talk. The video presents conversation as an art form that requires listening, empathy, and understanding. Nihal's discussion of conversation as an art form underscores its value in building connections and enriching lives.

💡Social Media

Social media is mentioned as a platform that often encourages people to share their opinions without necessarily listening to others. The video contrasts this with the more meaningful and enriching conversations that can occur in person, suggesting that the rise of social media may be contributing to the decline of genuine conversational skills.

Highlights

Introduction of the topic: the art of conversation and its importance.

Discussion on the rise of social media and its impact on the quality of conversations.

Mention of a record-breaking telephone conversation lasting 54 hours and 4 minutes.

Nihal Arthanayake’s perspective on the importance of listening in conversations.

Nihal's experience as a British Asian boy using conversation as a survival instinct in a predominantly white school.

The difference between 'listening to reply' and 'listening to understand'.

The role of good conversation in building bridges and improving relationships.

Nihal's view on conversation as an art form, not just idle talk or social media shouting.

The concept of 'tittle-tattle' and how it contrasts with meaningful conversation.

Good conversation involves taking turns and not talking over someone.

Nihal's tips for having better conversations, encountering new ideas, and making friends.

The importance of listening to enrich oneself and understand others better.

Recap of key vocabulary learned: 'chinwag', 'enriched', 'survival instinct', 'build bridges', 'tittle-tattle', and 'talk over someone'.

Sam’s reflection on her conversation with her old school friend.

Closing of the program with a reminder to join for more topics and vocabulary.

Transcripts

Hello. This is 6 Minute English from

BBC Learning English. I’m Sam.

And I’m Neil.

Recently I met up with an old school

friend who I hadn’t seen for years.

We talked for hours…

It sounds like you had a good chinwag –

a long and pleasant conversation between friends,

which is great because in this programme

we’re talking about talking. We’ll  be discussing conservations –

the exchange of ideas, thoughts and feelings

that happens when people talk to each other.

And as usual we’ll be learning

some new vocabulary as well.

With the rise of Twitter and social media,

which encourages us to give our opinion

on a subject without always listening in return,

some think the art of conversation is being lost.

But luckily, there are still millions of us who

love to talk, chat, chinwag and chatter away.

In fact, in 2012 a competition in Latvia broke

the world record for the longest telephone

conversation. So, Neil, my question is this:

how long did this record-breaking  conversation last? Was it:

a) 24 hours and 4 minutes?

b) 54 hours and 4 minutes? or,

c) 84 hours and 4 minutes?

Hmmm, I’ll guess a) 24 hours and 4 minutes,

after which they probably fell asleep!

OK, Neil, I’ll reveal the correct answer later

in the programme. During a long career, DJ

and BBC radio presenter, Nihal Arthanayake,

has had conversations with hundreds of people.

Now he’s used these experiences to write a book

entitled, ‘Let's Talk: How  to Have Better Conversations’.

Here Nihal tells another radio presenter,

Michael Rosen, of BBC Radio 4’s, Word of Mouth,

about the influence of his mother who

also loved talking to people  in her job as a nurse:

Well, it gave me the sense that you are enriched

by listening. And this was of course, pre-social

media which has of course encouraged us to

project - to transmit - more than receive.

So it meant that I guess I was conscious of

experiences of others, and wanted to try and

understand them. Also, partially, Michael,

it was a survival instinct because I was a little

brown boy in a predominantly white school,

a state school in the 1980s.

For Nihal, good conversation involves listening

as much as speaking. By listening we find out

things about the person we are talking to which,

in turn, help us understand ourselves.

This is why Nihal says we  are enriched by listening –

we are improved by having something else added.

As a British Asian boy growing  up in a white community,

Nihal also thinks conversation was a way for him

to make friends and find protection. He says

having conversations was a survival instinct -

the human instinct to do something in a dangerous

situation that will keep them safe from harm.

Nihal sees an important difference between

‘listening simply to reply’,  and ‘listening to understand’.

When we ‘listen to reply’, we are thinking about

the next thing we want to say more than trying

to understand the other person’s point of view.

‘Listening to understand’, on the other hand,

helps build bridges - improve relationships

between people who are very different

or do not like each other.

Here’s Nihal again in conversation

with BBC Radio 4’s, Word of Mouth:

So conversation can build bridges,

and it is proven through history that

conversation has, and that conversation

can be seen as an art form, and that's one

of the things that I want us to understand –

it's not just tittle tattle,  it's not just shouting

at each other on social media, it's not two

politicians talking over each other.

Good conversation brings people together,

unlike tittle-tattle - talk  about other people's lives

that is usually unkind, disapproving, or untrue.

And good conversation involves taking turns,

not talking over someone  – trying to silence people

by talking more loudly, forcefully,

and persistently than them.

Hopefully, Nihal’s tips can help us all have

better conversations, encounter new ideas and

make friends. So, Sam, did  you do any of these things

when you met up with your old school friend?

I think so. We both listened to each other,

there was no tittle-tattle  but a little bit of gossip.

Before we knew it a couple of hours had passed -

but not as much time as those record-breaking

telephone conservations I mentioned earlier.

Ah yes, in your question you asked how long

the world’s longest telephone conversation lasted.

It guessed it was an incredible

24 hours and 4 minutes… was I right?

Well, Neil, I’m afraid that was… the wrong answer.

In fact, the record-breaking conversation lasted

54 hours and 4 minutes - about the same as

540 programmes of 6 Minute English!

Wow! OK, let’s recap the vocabulary we’ve

learned from this programme on the art of

good conversations, starting with chinwag –

a long and pleasant conversation between friends.

When something is enriched, it’s improved

by having something else added to it.

The survival instinct is the basic instinct in

humans and animals to do something in a

dangerous situation that will keep them alive.

If you build bridges, you improve relationships

between people who are very

different or do not like each other.

Tittle-tattle is talk about other people's lives

that is usually unkind, disapproving, or untrue.

And finally, if you talk over someone, you silence

or drown them out by talking  more loudly than them.

That’s the end of our conversation, but remember

to join us soon for more trending topics

and useful vocabulary. Bye for now!

Goodbye!