How social media makes us unsocial | Allison Graham | TEDxSMU
Summary
TLDRThe speaker addresses the disconnection caused by social media, highlighting a decrease in close friendships and the constant distraction of smartphones. They discuss the risks of texting while driving, the impact on our vocabulary, and the pressure to present a perfect life online. The talk concludes with a call to action for a screen-free challenge, urging people to make human connections and engage in real-life experiences.
Takeaways
- π΅ Social media is causing us to disconnect from real-life interactions and relationships, with people increasingly preferring online communication over face-to-face conversations.
- π A significant decrease in the number of close friends reported by Americans from 10 in 2001 to 2 in the present day suggests a shift in social dynamics due to technology.
- π₯ The speaker observes families and couples using their phones even when together, indicating a preference for online interactions over being present with loved ones.
- π± The average person checks their phone 150 times a day, highlighting the pervasiveness of technology in our daily lives.
- πΈ The immense number of photos uploaded to social media platforms like Facebook reflects a culture of constant sharing and seeking validation through likes and comments.
- π¬ The use of text messaging and social media shorthand can lead to a loss of rich vocabulary and the ability to express nuanced thoughts and emotions.
- π Texting while driving is identified as the leading cause of death among teens, emphasizing the dangers of being distracted by technology while operating vehicles.
- π People often feel compelled to check work emails even during vacations, reflecting the expectation of constant availability and the difficulty of disconnecting from work.
- π€³ The rise of the 'selfie' culture and the various contexts in which they are taken, from parties to funerals, shows a focus on self-presentation and seeking online approval.
- π The emotional impact of social media, such as jealousy over the number of likes received, affects self-esteem and can lead to negative behaviors like deleting posts for more attention.
- π The speaker calls for a return to more authentic human connections and experiences, suggesting a screen-free challenge to encourage people to look up from their devices and engage with the world around them.
Q & A
What is the speaker's request at the beginning of the talk?
-The speaker asks everyone to power down their devices during the talk and points out the location of the power buttons on phones.
Why does the speaker want to post about the coffee but is struggling to find a funny way to say it?
-The speaker is looking for a humorous angle to make the social media post engaging and entertaining for their audience.
What is the issue with the speaker's Facebook post being 'like a page long'?
-The speaker is concerned about the length of the post and is looking for a way to shorten it without losing the message.
What does the speaker suggest to shorten the Facebook post?
-The speaker humorously suggests removing all the vowels from the post to make it shorter.
What is the main topic the speaker wants to discuss in the talk?
-The speaker wants to discuss how social media is disconnecting people from real-life interactions and relationships.
According to the Gallup poll mentioned, what change has occurred in the number of close friends Americans have?
-The Gallup poll showed a decrease from an average of 10 close friends in 2001 to just two in the current year.
What does the speaker attribute the decrease in close friendships to?
-The speaker attributes the decrease to the rise of technology and social media, which has led to more virtual than real-life interactions.
What is the average number of times people check their phones according to the study by Mary Meeker?
-According to Mary Meeker's study, people touch or check their phones 150 times a day.
What is the speaker's concern regarding the use of abbreviations in communication?
-The speaker is concerned that the use of abbreviations may lead to a loss of nuances, subtleties, and the richness of the American vocabulary, affecting our ability to express ourselves fully.
What is the new study from Cohen Children's Medical Center in New Hyde Park highlighting?
-The study highlights that texting while driving has become the number one cause of death for teens, surpassing even drinking and driving.
What is the speaker's advice regarding the use of technology while driving?
-The speaker advises against using technology while driving, emphasizing that no text message is worth the risk and that messages can wait until one reaches their destination.
What is the impact of social media on the way people present their lives?
-Social media impacts the way people present their lives by often promoting an idealized version, focusing on positive aspects and avoiding negative or ordinary experiences.
What does the speaker suggest as an alternative to the constant use of social media?
-The speaker suggests taking a screen-free challenge, unplugging for one hour a day, and focusing on real-life interactions and experiences.
What is the speaker's final call to action for the audience?
-The speaker's final call to action is for everyone to take a screen-free challenge, to unplug for an hour a day, and to prioritize face-to-face interactions and human connections.
Outlines
π΅ The Impact of Social Media on Human Connection
The speaker begins by requesting the audience to power down their devices during the talk, highlighting the importance of being present. They express gratitude to state.com for permission to use the video and humorously discuss the challenge of posting on social media. The speaker then delves into the disconnection caused by social media, citing a Gallup poll that shows a decrease in the number of close friends from 10 to 2 over the years. They describe common scenarios of people being on their phones during social gatherings and the implications of this behavior. A study by Mary Meeker is mentioned, which states that people check their phones 150 times a day and upload 1.8 billion pictures to Facebook. The speaker reflects on the early days of the internet and the simplicity of communication before the advent of smartphones, emphasizing the risk society is running by becoming increasingly dependent on technology and the potential loss of rich communication.
π The Dangers of Distracted Driving and the Pressure of Constant Connectivity
The speaker discusses the phenomenon of 'phone shame' when transitioning from a Blackberry to an iPhone, illustrating the societal pressure to conform to technological trends. They mention a study by Cohen Children's Medical Center that identifies texting while driving as the leading cause of death among teens, surpassing even drunk driving. The speaker emphasizes the risks of even brief distractions while driving, using the example of driving 55 miles per hour and looking at a phone for 5 seconds, which equates to driving the length of a football field blind. They also touch on the constant connection and distraction faced by adults in the workplace and the impact this has on children who observe and emulate this behavior. The speaker critiques the presentation of idealized lives on social media, where people often only share positive aspects, and the resulting emotional turmoil caused by the pursuit of likes and validation.
π€³ The Selfie Culture and the Need for Human Connection
The speaker critiques the selfie culture, describing it as a sad invention that reflects a society increasingly focused on self-image and online validation. They humorously recount various types of selfies, including the 'bathroom selfie' and the 'Oscar selfie,' highlighting the absurdity of some of these practices. The speaker also mentions the darker side of social media, such as the 'funeral selfie,' which can be seen as disrespectful. They advocate for a return to more authentic human interactions, suggesting a 'screen-free challenge' where people unplug for an hour a day. The speaker calls for a change in behavior, starting with ourselves, to create positive face-to-face communities and to value human interaction as essential as breathing. They conclude by encouraging the audience to look up from their screens and make genuine connections with those around them.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Social Media
π‘Disconnection
π‘Technology
π‘Vocabulary
π‘Multitasking
π‘Selfie
π‘Human Connection
π‘Screen-Free Challenge
π‘Facebook
π‘YOLO
π‘Road Trip
Highlights
The speaker requests the audience to power down their devices for the duration of the talk.
The speaker expresses a desire to post about great coffee but struggles to find a humorous way to do so.
A humorous suggestion to shorten a social media post by removing vowels is mentioned.
The speaker criticizes the culture of sharing mundane details on social media and the pressure to be constantly connected.
A significant decrease in the number of close friends reported by Americans from a Gallup poll conducted in 2001 to the present day is highlighted.
The observation that people are more connected to their phones than to those they are physically with is made.
A study by Mary Meeker is cited, indicating that people check their phones 150 times a day and upload 1.8 billion pictures to Facebook.
The speaker reflects on the simpler times before the internet and the constant connectivity it brings.
The risk of technology dividing society and the demand for more from it is discussed.
The impact of text messaging on vocabulary and the potential loss of nuanced communication is explored.
The speaker questions the anxiety people feel when separated from their phones, even for a short time.
A personal anecdote about transitioning from a Blackberry to an iPhone and the cultural shift it represents is shared.
A study indicating that texting while driving is the number one cause of death for teens is mentioned.
The speaker emphasizes the importance of not texting while driving and the dangers of doing so, even at a stop sign.
The constant connection to work and the expectation to be available at all times is critiqued.
The unrealistic portrayal of life on social media and its impact on self-esteem and relationships is discussed.
The speaker calls for a screen-free challenge, encouraging people to unplug for one hour a day.
The importance of human connection and interaction over digital interaction is emphasized.
Transcripts
hi thank you very much uh I'd like to
start out by asking everyone to power
down their devices during my talk and
for those of you that don't know the
power buttons either on the top or on
the side of your phone I'd also like to
thank the guys from state.com for
permission to use this
video I want to post about how great
this coffee is but I can't think of a
funny way to say it this post is like a
page long how do I shorten this just
take out all the
vowels still still be like a seriously
hey guys you on Twitter follow me
sometimes I want to move to another
country where would have to deal with
this
stuff # photo of the day # quit just
kidding # multitasking # squirm # road
trip dudes not while you're driving man
# YOLO is anybody even going to read
this fast coffee
friends subscribe what's up Facebook
follow look my new shoes unfollow I love
cop we're going viral driving
selfie third world nobody
[Music]
cares I'm going to hide all of
you dude I made the popular
[Music]
page so I want to talk about three
things
tonight how social media is
disconnecting us what's happening now
and how we can do
better Gallup took a poll in 2001 and
every average American said that they
had 10 really close friends the same
poll this year said we had two so what
happened where did everybody go and I
think we know
where I think we've all seen this by
now maybe even been a little guilty of
it ourselves I see families like this
out to dinner all the time and it drives
me nuts and I see couples on dates
clearly together but on their cell
phones it's one of the strangest things
I've ever seen but to me what does it
say when we are together to me it says
that there's someone anyone on the other
end of the screen that's way more
important than you who's right in front
of my face there's a study by Mary maker
that says we touch our phones or check
our phones 150 times a day and we upload
1.8 billion pictures to Facebook that's
a little over a six of the population a
day for
pictures remember when the internet was
new those of us that do that was really
actually only about 25 years ago if you
can
imagine I remember when we had pagers
time seemed a little simpler back then
you'd get the beep you may return the
call you may not return the call or when
we had answer machines you could always
say that you weren't home now we have a
list of all these excuses that may or
may not work but it seems like the more
we talk about how how technology divides
us the more we demand from
it and I think that's a huge risk that
we're running in our society
today we have this shortened vocabulary
now it's all about the texting even my
mom she says just text me and she's a
little bit older I won't say because
she'll see this later so OMG oh my
goodness LOL
laugh out loud
WTF why the
face so when we abbreviate our
vocabulary what we risk is losing the
nuances subtleties and intimate parts of
our personalities that make up our very
rich American vocabulary and with that
shortening we lose and run the risk of
not being able to fully express
ourselves and communicate as we move
forward and that losing our vocabulary
equals a potential loss of being able to
express
ourselves how many times does anybody
look in horror when their cell phone
rings with the personal
call a whole conversation starts
happening in your head when it
rings
Tiffany why is Tiffany calling what does
Tiffany
want why is she calling me and then you
have that last ringtone moment where you
know know you have to pick up that phone
or let it go to a voicemail you may or
may not check hey Tiffany what's up the
whole time thinking she could have
completely texted this whole message to
me if I asked everybody in here if they
could take their phone set it down and
walk away for an hour could you do it an
immediate sense of panic comes over us
we will turn the car around even if we
are halfway to our Des ation just to go
back and get our cell
phones I had a Blackberry which I adored
and I kept it for a really long
time but you guys remember when we had
blackberries don't you what did we call
them back then that's right crack
berries so it's no surprise where we've
landed ourselves now so I took my
Blackberry into the Apple Store when
everybody else had their Apple phone and
the transition was more than I could
bear experiencing phone
shame and I went in and of course it was
completely jam-packed at the Apple Store
and this cute kid comes up to me and
he's like may I help you and I said yes
you
can I would like a phone that could do
this so I took my Blackberry and I threw
it on the ground pop pop pop it goes all
the way across the store everybody just
stops in the store gasps and I walk over
and I pick it up and I said see the
screen's fully intact and it still works
and he just looked not missing a beat
and he said we don't have a phone that
can do
that a new study out by the Cohen
Children Medical Center in new hide Park
their study says this year that texting
while driving is now the number one
cause of death for teens more than
drinking and
driving so what this this means is
there's a lot of drunks on the
road I was speaking to some high school
students and of course you know they're
always willing to make some sort of
bargain and they raised their hand and
they said well what if you're at a stop
sign or what if you're at a stoplight
and I said my message was I don't think
there's really anything that can't wait
until we get to our destination and
don't forget if you send that text at
the stop sign they're probably going to
text you back while you're driving so
maybe not the best idea and I'll give
you example if you're driving 55 miles
an hour and you look down at your phone
for 5 seconds you've just now driven the
length of an entire football field
completely
blind and it's not just our kids it's us
as well we are constantly at work
constantly constantly connected and
constantly
distracted every every one of us thinks
of some sort of extreme vacation we need
to go on where we may say to our bosses
you know I'm going to go to on a very
extreme vacation there's just absolutely
no way I can return anything during the
day but you're still expected to go back
to the hotel and return your work emails
so if we as adults are this distracted
our kids are seeing this we're always at
work and where are they always on their
devices and how many times have you guys
heard
what do you mean you don't know I posted
it on
Facebook so for some reason now we're
all supposed to know about each other's
lives because they posted it on Facebook
and I don't know that you climb Mount
Kilimanjaro you didn't tell me last week
when we were at
brunch and and what do we present really
when we are on Facebook we present an
idic life perfect parenting great
relationships we hardly ever give any
bad news or copy about ourselves because
that doesn't make for a lot of
likes different High School group I was
speaking to and they raised their hand
and educated me on something I didn't
know they said you know we wait until 5
o'clock before we post our Instagram
pictures because that's when we know all
of our friends are out and we'll get the
most traffic I thought that was pretty
interesting and then they started
talking a little bit more about how they
get jealous so if one person gets more
likes on Instagram than the other then
they just take it down so there's all
this emotional turmoil and strife going
on with our number of likes somehow
equaling our self-esteem we are all our
own public relations firms always trying
to figure out how we can increase our
numbers work sometimes demands that from
us as well certainly we do that a lot in
our personal
life and this is what we present on on
faceb I mean here's who we really are in
real life and this is what we present on
Facebook guilty a little bit of
it we have the selfie
now and if you think about a selfie it's
rather a sad invention it's a us taking
a picture of ourselves by ourselves
maybe we can get two more people if
somebody really has a long
arm the bathroom selfie I find this
hilarious I I see it all the time I'm
like oh great that's you in front of a
mirror great going to a party I probably
was not invited to that you're going to
be selfing your way through while I
watch Home Alone on
Facebook we have the Oscar selfie that
was a lot of fun that uh crashed the
Twitter feed I think most people know
and then we have uh the funeral selfie
not so
fun um she looks very unpleased
and we have the driving selfie because I
mentioned research shows that won't kill
you at
all I think we would all live life
better if we had Hands to Hold rather
than keys to
click thank
you thank
you I think we need to take that pause
in our life make mud pies build a fort
take the time
to gaze at the clouds for rhinoceroses
and unicorns screen
free and if change starts from within we
are that change we can be that change
and teach our kids what it was like
before we live life in front of a screen
we can use social media to create
positive face-to-face groups and
organizations and meeting places like we
have tonight not hash # activism but
people
activism we need to look up and see who
our neighbor is we need to look up and
put that phone
away make a human connection teach human
interaction as if it were as important
as the very breath we breathe look up at
me look up at each other and look up at
you and I'm gonna ask everyone in here
to take a screen-free challenge unplug
for one hour a day and if you like this
message please share it thank you very
much
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