How To Detach | How To Master Detachment & Let Go Of People & Situations

Summary

In this video, Justin J discusses the importance of detachment in personal growth. He emphasizes the need for a self-driven plan and the healthiness of being 'selfish' by prioritizing one's needs and goals. Justin advises viewers to let go of toxic relationships and attachments that hinder their progress, suggesting that success and fulfillment come from within when one is emotionally and mentally independent. He encourages viewers to love themselves, be leaders in their own lives, and focus on personal growth rather than external validation.

Takeaways

• 😀 Detachment is crucial for personal growth and achieving goals; it means letting go of people and situations that don't serve you.
• 🤔 Having a clear plan for oneself is essential to navigate through life and make decisions that align with one's goals, rather than being influenced by others.
• 💪 It's healthy to be 'selfish' in the sense of prioritizing one's needs and desires, as it helps in focusing on personal development.
• 👪 Recognizing when relationships, including family and romantic ones, are no longer beneficial and having the courage to move on is part of self-care.
• 🚶‍♂️ Detachment becomes easier when you're seeing progress in your life and understand that your journey is about personal growth, not pleasing others.
• 💡 Self-love and confidence are foundational to not being overly attached to external validation or the opinions of others.
• 🔑 Understanding one's identity and purpose helps in making decisions that are in line with personal goals, rather than being swayed by attachments.
• 🚫 Avoiding the comparison trap and focusing on personal achievements rather than others' success is key to maintaining a healthy mindset.
• 🏆 Not being attached to the outcome of efforts allows for consistent work and eventual success, as the focus shifts to the process rather than the result.
• 💊 Recognizing and detaching from unhealthy habits or lifestyles, such as drug use, is part of taking control of one's life and making positive changes.
• 🤝 Cutting ties with people who do not contribute positively to one's life is necessary for progress, even if they may reappear once success is achieved.

Q & A

What is the main theme of Justin J's video?

The main theme of Justin J's video is about the importance of detachment from people and situations that do not serve one's personal growth and purpose.

Why does Justin J emphasize the need for a plan?

Justin J emphasizes the need for a plan because it helps individuals to know where they are going and understand that not everyone can come along with them, thus making detachment easier.

What does Justin J suggest is healthy to be selfish for?

Justin J suggests that it is healthy to be selfish for one's own needs, desires, and what one wants out of life, as it helps in making better decisions about who to include in one's life.

What does Justin J mean by 'people develop an attachment to others when they don't know who they are'?

Justin J means that individuals who lack self-awareness and self-identity often become overly attached to others, using them as a crutch for their own sense of self.

What is the right time to walk away from a woman according to Justin J?

The right time to walk away from a woman, according to Justin J, is when she no longer serves the man's mission or purpose in life and is not contributing positively to it.

Why does Justin J believe that detachment comes easy when one is getting results?

Justin J believes that detachment comes easy when one is getting results because the focus shifts from the need for external validation to the satisfaction of personal achievements and progress.

What does Justin J suggest is the problem with being attached to the outcome of things?

Justin J suggests that being attached to the outcome of things can hinder progress because it creates anxiety and prevents individuals from focusing on the consistent effort required to achieve their goals.

What advice does Justin J give regarding dealing with vice such as drugs?

Justin J advises that individuals should not get caught up in a lifestyle that is not good for them, like drugs, and instead focus on their own path and purpose, making choices that align with their goals.

How does Justin J define the concept of 'detach to attract'?

Justin J defines 'detach to attract' as the idea that by detaching from unhealthy attachments and focusing on oneself, individuals can attract positive outcomes and opportunities into their lives.

What is Justin J's perspective on the importance of self-love and self-respect?

Justin J believes that self-love and self-respect are crucial because they form the foundation for a healthy relationship with oneself, which in turn is necessary for being good to others and not getting attached to people who may not reciprocate the same level of care.

What does Justin J suggest as a strategy for not getting emotionally attached to others?

Justin J suggests developing emotional intelligence, understanding one's feelings, and not acting out of emotions but rather using them to inform decisions and actions.

Why does Justin J compare a leader to someone who detaches from those not contributing to their growth?

Justin J compares a leader to someone who detaches from non-contributing individuals because a leader must make tough decisions for the betterment of the team or company, just as one should in their personal life to ensure continued growth and success.

What does Justin J mean by 'you are the drug, bottle yourself up and sell it'?

Justin J uses this phrase to encourage individuals to value their own worth and uniqueness, suggesting that they should focus on self-improvement and self-promotion rather than seeking validation from others.

Outlines

00:00

🚗 Detaching for Personal Growth

In this paragraph, Justin J discusses the importance of detaching from people and situations that do not serve one's personal growth. He emphasizes the need for a plan and self-reliance, stating that being 'selfish' in terms of focusing on one's own needs and desires is healthy. He touches on the idea that people often struggle to detach because they lack a clear direction in life. Justin also addresses the topic of relationships, suggesting that when a woman no longer contributes positively to a man's life mission, it may be time to let go. The paragraph concludes with a call to focus on personal identity and self-love as a foundation for all other attachments.

05:00

💡 Overcoming Attachments and Victim Mentality

This paragraph delves into the reasons why individuals might attach themselves to negative outcomes or lifestyles, such as drugs or toxic relationships. Justin J encourages listeners to break free from a victim mentality and to take control of their lives by making better choices. He stresses the importance of self-advice and listening to one's own inner voice. The speaker also talks about the phenomenon of people returning once one achieves success, highlighting the importance of staying true to one's path and not being swayed by the opinions of others. The paragraph ends with a reflection on the power of detachment and self-focus as a means to attract positive outcomes.

10:02

💖 Self-Love and Emotional Detachment

Justin J emphasizes the necessity of self-love and a healthy relationship with oneself as a prerequisite for being good to others. He argues against emotional attachment to people who do not reciprocate positive feelings and discusses the importance of being a leader in one's own life, making tough decisions for personal growth. The paragraph also addresses the need for long-term planning and having a vision for the future, which can help one navigate through life's challenges without being derailed by temporary setbacks. Justin encourages viewers to let go of people who do not contribute to their journey and to focus on self-improvement and achieving one's goals.

15:04

🌟 Detachment Leads to Attraction

In the final paragraph, Justin J wraps up his thoughts on detachment by illustrating how letting go of unhealthy attachments can lead to attracting positive experiences and people into one's life. He speaks about the power of success and how achieving small wins can fuel further success, clarifying one's path and purpose. The speaker also touches on the idea of individuality and the importance of not dimming one's light by attaching to others who do not value it. He concludes with a motivational note to be true to oneself, to be the 'drug' that others seek, and to maintain a strong sense of self, which is the key to shining bright in life.

Keywords

💡Detachment

Detachment in the context of the video refers to the act of letting go of people and situations that do not serve one's personal growth or goals. It is a key concept as the video emphasizes the importance of being able to distance oneself from toxic relationships or influences to focus on one's own path and purpose. For example, the script mentions detaching from a woman or a toxic family member when they no longer contribute positively to one's life.

💡Plan

A 'plan' in the video signifies a strategic blueprint for one's life, outlining where one is headed and the steps needed to get there. It is central to the theme as it suggests that having a clear plan can make it easier to detach from non-beneficial elements in life. The script uses the term to stress that understanding one's direction can lead to healthier decisions about relationships and personal development, as seen when it says 'when you have a plan for yourself, you know where you're going'.

💡Selfishness

In the video, 'selfishness' is portrayed in a positive light, meaning prioritizing one's own needs, desires, and life goals over others. It is related to the theme by advocating for a healthy level of self-focus as a means to achieve personal success and well-being. The script explicitly states that 'it is healthy to be selfish' and to focus on one's own life path.

💡Identity

Identity in this context is one's sense of self, which can be compromised when too attached to others. The video discusses the issue of losing one's sense of self when a significant other leaves, as it was tied to that person. This is tied to the main theme by illustrating the dangers of letting others define one's identity and the importance of establishing a strong personal identity to maintain direction and purpose.

💡Results

Results are the outcomes or achievements one desires to attain in life. The video emphasizes that focusing on results can help with detachment, as it shifts the focus from people or situations to personal progress. The script mentions that 'detaching from people is going to come easy when you're getting results', indicating that personal success can facilitate letting go of non-productive relationships.

💡Attachment

Attachment in the video is the emotional or psychological connection to people or things that may hinder one's progress. It is a central concept as the video discusses the negative impacts of attachment and how it can lead to a compromised sense of self. The script talks about developing attachments when one does not know who they are and how this can lead to identity issues and a lack of direction.

💡Vice

A 'vice' in the video refers to negative habits or substances, such as drugs, that one might become attached to, which are not conducive to personal growth. It is relevant to the theme as it represents another form of attachment that can detract from one's life goals. The script warns against getting caught up in a lifestyle that is not beneficial and the importance of focusing on positive outcomes instead.

💡Outcome

Outcome in this context is the result or consequence of a particular situation or action. The video suggests that being less attached to the outcome can lead to better results, as it allows for a focus on the process and consistent effort. The script states that 'when you're not attached to the outcome of things, you just start doing you start getting results', highlighting the importance of process over preoccupation with results.

💡Emotions

Emotions are one's feelings and affective states, which the video argues can be a source of attachment if not properly managed. It is connected to the theme by discussing the importance of being emotionally intelligent and not letting emotions dictate one's actions. The script advises to 'detach yourself from the emotions' and to use them to inform and improve one's decisions rather than being consumed by them.

💡Individuality

Individuality refers to the unique qualities that define a person. The video promotes the idea of embracing one's individuality as a means to avoid unhealthy attachments and to shine bright in life. It is integral to the theme by advocating for self-love and self-respect as foundations for personal success. The script mentions that 'everybody's greatest gift is being an individual' and warns against losing one's shine by attaching to others.

💡Success

Success in the video is portrayed as a result of hard work, planning, and detachment from non-essential elements. It is tied to the theme by illustrating that success can be a natural outcome of focusing on one's goals and not being derailed by external influences. The script uses phrases like 'stacking W's' to symbolize the accumulation of small wins leading to greater success, which can clarify one's path and purpose.

Highlights

The key to detachment is having a plan for yourself and knowing where you're going.

It is healthy to be selfish and prioritize your own needs and desires over others who don't serve your purpose.

Detachment from people becomes easier when you are getting results and focusing on your path and purpose.

Attachments to others often stem from not knowing who you are and what you truly need.

People often get attached to outcomes, but success comes from focusing on the process and putting in consistent work.

A leader must know when it's time to let go of people who are not contributing to the mission.

In life, you always have options, and detachment from toxic situations allows for better choices.

Emotional intelligence is key; understand and manage your emotions rather than being driven by them.

When you detach from societal expectations and focus on your own goals, you start attracting what you truly want.

Success and fulfillment come from following your true path, not from seeking validation or status.

Healthy detachment means understanding that not everyone can come along with you on your journey.

Building a strong relationship with yourself is crucial to avoid unhealthy attachments to others.

Adopt a mindset of detachment to avoid compromising your mission and to attract success.

When you stop being emotionally invested in outcomes, you start achieving consistent results.

Detachment allows you to shine bright as an individual without being dimmed by others who don't add value.

Transcripts

what's good guys it's your boy Justin J

coming to you with another car video

Let's cook boys let's cook all right how

to detach how to master Detachment and

let go of people and situations that

don't serve you you don't owe them

anything I got a request to do this

video I think a week ago and I was

sitting on this video and I was really

thinking about it how what angle I'm

going to attack it from the only option

that I came up with is to be brutally

honest

Okay the reason why people have a hard

time detaching from other people a woman

a toxic family member a friend whoever

right is because you have no plan

because your plan comes before

everything

else this is going to be a big brother

talk when you have a plan for yourself

you know where you're going you

understand that not everybody can come

along with

you when I tell you guys it is healthy

to be selfish it is healthy to worry

about your needs your desires what you

want out of life a lot of people are

outside Lolly gagging and playing games

but your life can be over like this

tomorrow so why do you move around with

people allow people into your space and

vicinity that have no business being

there because you feel like you owe them

something well don't you owe everything

to

yourself some people have kids don't you

want your kids to be proud of who you

are but that's only going to come along

from following your path and purpose

people are going to fall

off let's talk about women too because

the title of this video could have went

a bunch of different ways when's the

right time to walk away from somebody I

got a request for that too we'll get to

that in here as well the right time to

walk away from a woman is when it

doesn't serve you anymore when this

woman is not helping you on the mission

making things easier if she's not

helping she has to

go women are everywhere women are not

the goal your plan your path your

purpose that is the goal see people

develop an attachment to others when

they don't know who they are so you will

be attached to a woman and suddenly she

becomes a part of your identity when she

leaves you don't know what to do with

yourself your whole mission feels like

it's been compromised because now you're

taking a detour but you should have just

stayed on the path that you originally

set for

yourself detaching from people is going

to come easy when you're getting results

and you don't want your results to stop

but see the thing is a lot of people are

on a certain path to get results in this

way I'm going to do this so I can get

more girls I'm going to do this so I can

achieve more status I'm going to do this

so I can get more money as soon as you

get all that stuff what's

left because you're not doing it for a

greater good you're doing it for a bunch

of wants that aren't even

needs what do you need what makes you

wake up and feel alive you pay attention

to that and I guarantee you it's not

women it's not money and it's not

status but when you know who you are and

you're confident and you look in the

mirror you love yourself you're coming

up with new ideas new ways to reinvent

yourself all the time it's

endless you know what path you're

supposed to be on you know it so yeah

does it feel nice to have a chick to you

know lay up next to at night yeah it

feels good but is that what you need to

feel to feel fulfilled no it's

not let's be real with this stuff here's

another thing I want to talk about in

this video too the attachment to

comparing yourselves to others or

feeling like you need to speak on others

that are doing the same thing as you but

you're trying to get ahead no you focus

on your own results if you're a dope ass

dude you have no time to be attaching

yourself to somebody else or a bunch of

somebody else's that you think

are in a higher position than you no do

the work get the

results do the work get the

results a lot of people are attached to

the outcome of things here's the thing

when you're not attached to the outcome

of things you just start doing you start

getting results isn't that strange how

that

works when you say this is going to

happen no matter how it happens the only

thing that needs to be done on my end is

the

consistency putting in the work day in

and day

out it's going to happen the outcome

it's going to happen I don't have to

worry about oh if it's going to happen

this fast or if it's going to happen

this way or that way no no no it's going

to happen all I need to do is put in the

work keep my head down and

grind let's talk about Vice is

drugs people get caught up in a

lifestyle that they know is no good for

for

them they're attaching themselves to

something maybe to fit in maybe to look

cool maybe because they feel as though

that's the only way they know how to

make it out but that's not true in life

we all have

options either you're going to move left

or you're going to move right but that's

up to

you and the reason why people attach

themselves to a a certain type of

outcome is because you don't want to

listen to yourself take your own

advice guys have to get rid of that

victim mentality well this isn't going

to work if I do this and this isn't

going to work no no no no see you're

connecting yourself to the outcome when

the outcome should be I'm going to make

it no matter how it goes if I fall I get

back up if I fall I get back up again

but it's going to happen so if I know

it's going to happen regardless why am I

so attached to if things can go wrong

and what if this person doesn't like me

and blah blah blah blah blah no and

another thing people in your life that

aren't benefiting your life you have to

get rid of you have to get rid of

because those people are not helping you

along your journey in your path but the

funny thing about it is once you make it

they will be right at your

door they will come back

around hoping that you still have that

little attachment to

them but by then you know

better yo Detachment is the game Cher

because this is exactly why I give the

advice that I do because I practice it

in my everyday life when you walk into a

situation you think this person's going

to realize I'm a dope ass person because

I'm a dope ass person I don't have to

convince them of anything and I don't

have to change their mind because I'm

the

opportunity somebody comes to you and

they're trying to show you that they're

worthy okay well they have to show you

you don't just give them all this

validation up front put them on a

pedestal make them feel special for what

you're the

opportunity are they trying to get

attached to you or are you trying to get

attached to them see this is how it

works too when you detach from

everything society's BS what people

think about you when you stop caring and

you worry about what you want for

yourself you seem to start attracting

everything it's crazy how that works I

remember I was busting my ass working

damn near 70 hours I always speak on

that story 70 hours working two jobs had

no time for myself had no time to date

had no time to really do too much of

anything besides work out and do it all

over again it was Groundhog's Day and I

was trying my hardest to get money but

you know when I said I bet there's

something I could do that I'm really

into that I never really viewed as a way

to make money I've been doing this for

free my whole life and I flipped the

script I said all the hours that you

were paying attention to that outcome

yeah you needed to do that at the time

but if you really cared about the

outcome you would still be working those

same hours you would still be grinding

because that was the only way you knew

how remember what I said before we

always have choices so when I said you

know what don't worry about that outcome

because the greater outcome of my life

is going to be something more conducive

it's going to be something better that I

can capitalize off of and look where I'm

at

today

I have choices you have choices if you

think you're stuck in one box here or

you're stuck in a rut no you can always

help yourself there is light in

darkness there's light in darkness in

relationships when a relationship has to

end it has to end one day your life is

going to end it has to

end you know when you're eating a plate

of food and you're like damn that was

good I wish I could have it again if

you're not going to get up and make it

again it's over it's the same thing all

around the board see people are too

invested in their emotions yet they're

not emotionally intelligent because they

go off of emotions it's okay to feel a

certain way understand it write it down

capitalize off of it flip the script use

it to help you but when people use their

emotions to just further sink into a

sunken place it never seems to work out

so what's the opposite of

that detach yourself from the emotions

stand on the other side it's kind of

like having an outer body experience

when you step outside of yourself and

you're literally watching yourself it

feels like you're watching

yourself I've sat back and I've

meditated and I thought about that

different scenarios that I've been in

and different situations that I put

myself in and I sat back and actually

looked at myself I looked like a

fool way too many situations where I let

my emotions take over where I got

attached to somebody that really didn't

even care about me but I was too blind

to see it because I was blind

myself I always sit back and think about

past mistakes or situations I put myself

through and that's what helps me not go

through them

again but see a lot of the things that

guys wish for will end up being mistakes

but they don't see it that way because

they're following a trend they're

following they're following what the

next person is doing thinking that oh

this is the way to go yeah go that way

you're going to quickly see that it's a

mistake and it's only until you make

that mistake and correct it that it

doesn't happen again how do you think

I'm sitting here telling you what I'm

telling you

[Music]

when I say love yourself I don't think

enough people get it man you got to have

a healthy relationship with yourself to

even then be good for other people so

you can never get attached to somebody

else if you're not good for

yourself a woman should never be able to

make you feel bad about yourself I

really want to talk about this because

that's mostly where I got the request

you know for this video the the video

was when is it the right time to walk

away from somebody how do you detach

emotionally from somebody listen if your

life isn't where you want it to be I'm

sorry to tell you but you're using women

to fill a void you're supposed to be a

leader okay one thing about being a

leader is if somebody's not doing their

job if they're not helping the company

grow we have to replace them with

somebody else who's more qualified and

fit to do the job no but the reason why

you don't think that way is because

you're relying on this person to make

you feel good about yourself you're not

being a leader

you're not being a leader a leader has

to show up strong in the situation every

day and direct people give directions

and when it's time for things to end

it's time for things to end it's like a

book when a chapter closes another one

starts it's very simple to understand

you need to see where you're going to be

at in your life a lot of dudes don't

have a one-year plan a 2-year plan a

three-year plan a 4-year plan a 5-year

plan you need to have those plans

because when all else fails you still

have that plan see a bunch of potholes

in the road can come up bumps in the

road problems can you know come up and

arise but here's the thing you already

have a plan 5 years ahead from now 10

years ahead from now so it doesn't

matter when bad things happen the goal

the ultimate goal the end game is to get

to where you have to get and get what

you came to

get it's not about all the other stuff

and all the small stuff and the

peanuts things are going to happen to

you in your life but where are you going

to be at later in your life this is

something that you should already have

planned I'm telling you if a lot of

dudes had a

plan they would understand that all this

other outside noise means nothing it

means nothing A lot of people are so

emotionally invested in things but when

you have your feelings hurt time and

time and time again till you have no

feelings left to be hurt you start to

understand that my feelings should only

matter to me should be able to you know

craft and mold my feelings and my

emotions and be able to understand them

not act out off of it but understand

them because nine times out of 10 nobody

really cares like that your family

members they love you but see people

always want to give themselves to others

so freely no you have to like yourself

and when you start to like yourself I'm

telling you it's going to come from

having your feelings ultimately broken

down and hurt a bunch of times to the

point where you understand that only

what I think matters if things have to

go it's it's time to let them go you

need to adopt that mindset to actually

win in this world because when you're

out of here you can't take a bunch of

this stuff with you you can act you

can't take anything with

you you cannot take anything with you so

what's your plan what's your path what's

your purpose out here what is it because

once that's clear you understand in

order for me to get there a bunch of

people that don't suit me a bunch of

people that are doing nothing for me

they have to fall off the face of the

map they have to leave they have to go

cuz all they're going to do is slow me

down but if you want those people to

stick around and you have an unhealthy

attachment to them chances are you're

not right with yourself and your mission

can be

compromised should never be compromised

when you detach from things you just

attract everything it's like what we say

in this space don't chase women okay

every dude is going to say that

differently but in every dude's

experience the same thing seems to be

true okay that chick who's really in to

me when I don't try

hard she seems to find her way to me she

seems to always hit me up she seems to

come to me she seems to be eager

whenever she hears from me

right the same thing with doing better

in life once you stop beating yourself

up and actually go out there and put in

the work to get the results suddenly the

universe starts rewarding you with

everything you could lose your job today

and say well I don't have any savings I

don't know what I'm going to do instead

ofay paying attention to the outcome of

falling under you pick yourself up you

get another job you get the results and

now the universe is giving you back more

than you

expected you know that friend that

didn't believe in you you know that

friend that was always taking advantage

of you you cut that person off you just

stick to your guns you keep pushing

forward forward forward all of a sudden

now you're gaining success that same

person comes back around and has a new

respect for you or they're trying to

show you how they changed and they're

apologize iing see how that works when

you detach you

attract and you can manifest and attract

whatever you want in your life but the

thing is you have to put in the work day

in and day

out getting attached to things getting

attached to people and situations that

aren't good for you it's never going to

do anything but I'm telling you once you

detach and you start getting wins and

stacking W's as I say and gaining

success and you see your path even

clearer and you understand here the

thing about success in W's once you

start getting them it only fuels you to

go get more it only makes your path and

purpose

clearer and you go out and you solidify

it everything becomes clear when you

detach when you're addicted to yourself

remember when I say you are the drug

bottle yourself up and sell it you are

the CEO the LLC the brand the whole show

you are him they are them that's exactly

what I mean by that you are are attached

to yourself you're not attached to the

outcome you're attached to you being

that dope solid

dude never let anybody dim your light

bro cuz that's what's going to happen

when that's what's going to tend to

happen when you attach yourself to

people that could care less all they're

going to do is dim your light and you

were born to shine bright you were born

to

shine everybody's greatest gift is being

an individual their

individuality the problem is too many

people attach themselves to others and

they lose their

shine don't dim your light detach to

attract hope you guys got a lot out of

this video it's your boy Justin J get

with you boys in the next video like

comment subscribe let's go

boys let's go