The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong | Amy Morin | TEDxOcala

Summary

The speaker discusses how unhealthy mental habits like self-pity, envy, and entitlement hold people back from reaching their potential. She shares personal stories of overcoming adversity after the tragic deaths of loved ones, realizing that giving up destructive thought patterns was key to building mental strength. The speaker urges the audience to identify and counter their own unhealthy beliefs, accept that life is unfair, and take small steps to change their situation rather than feeling powerless. Even incremental change can snowball into transformed outlooks and renewed possibility.

Takeaways

• 😀 Bad mental habits like envy and complaining may provide temporary relief but ultimately hold us back and reduce mental strength
• 👩‍💻 Self-pity magnifies misfortune, prevents solutions, and costs mental strength
• 😤 Believing others control us gives away personal power and agency
• 🔮 Expecting cosmic rewards for hard work leads to disappointment
• 💪 Giving up bad mental habits takes continuous effort but is necessary to build mental strength
• 🧠 Unhealthy beliefs about self, others and the world undermine mental strength
• 👐 Accepting discomfort allows us to move through difficult emotions
• ☮️ Comparing yourself to others creates unhealthy beliefs
• 🌄 Accepting life's unfairness can be liberating
• 🚴‍♂️ Small steps toward better habits compound to help regain control and mental strength

Q & A

What are the three types of destructive beliefs that make us less effective and rob us of mental strength?

The three types are: 1) Unhealthy beliefs about ourselves, like feeling sorry for ourselves or magnifying misfortunes. 2) Unhealthy beliefs about others, like thinking they can control us or blaming them. 3) Unhealthy beliefs about the world, like expecting success and good things to just happen.

How can envying friends on Facebook lead to depression?

Researchers have found that envying friends on Facebook actually leads to depression. Comparing ourselves negatively to others and coveting what they have can undermine our own sense of self-worth and satisfaction.

What happened when the speaker returned to the auditorium where she last saw her mother alive?

When she returned three years later to the same auditorium where she last saw her mother alive, she had a nice time reminiscing with her husband Lincoln. But shortly after getting home, Lincoln tragically and unexpectedly collapsed and died from a heart attack.

How did the speaker's second husband Steve pass away?

Shortly after the speaker remarried her second husband Steve, they received news that Steve's father had terminal cancer. Within a few weeks of the diagnosis, Steve's father passed away.

What list did the speaker write to help strengthen her mentally during tough times?

She wrote a list of all the things mentally strong people don't do - their bad mental habits. It served as a reminder of the habits she needed to avoid to prevent getting stuck during tough situations.

What unhealthy belief did the diabetic client have initially?

He believed he was doomed to suffer the same diabetes complications as his mother who died young, so he had given up on managing his blood sugar.

What small step did the diabetic client take first to improve his health?

He agreed to give up his 2 liter-a-day Pepsi habit and switch to Diet Pepsi. Just that one change quickly improved his blood sugar numbers.

How did an old exercise bike help motivate the diabetic client?

He parked it in front of his TV and would pedal while watching shows. This helped him lose weight and he noticed his eyesight improving, making him believe he could regain his driver's license.

What shifted the diabetic client's mindset and motivation?

When he noticed slight improvement in his eyesight, he realized the damage was not permanent. He set a goal to get his license back, believing now he could change things.

What small step does the speaker encourage the audience to take?

She asks them to consider one bad mental habit holding them back currently, and identify one small step they could take right then to start overcoming it.