Dating An INTJ Personality Type - 10 Interesting Facts

Psychology Refresh
3 Jun 202209:23

Summary

TLDRThis video script delves into the unique traits of INTJ personality types in dating, highlighting their strategic approach to relationships. It emphasizes the importance of alone time for INTJs, their deliberate decision-making process, and direct communication style. The script also covers their intellectual compatibility needs, logical conflict resolution, and the time it takes for them to open up emotionally. It outlines their high expectations, deep investment in partners, and desire to optimize relationships, concluding with their potential to be highly supportive once they commit.

Takeaways

  • 😌 INTJs require significant alone time to recharge and think, which is integral to their personality and should not be taken personally.
  • 🕰 INTJs are not impulsive and may take a long time to decide on a relationship, but once decided, they are serious about it.
  • 🗣️ INTJs prefer direct and clear communication, valuing straightforwardness over subtlety, especially from those they care about.
  • 🤔 INTJs seek intellectual compatibility in relationships, needing a partner who can engage in deep discussions and be a good listener.
  • 🔍 When conflicts arise, INTJs approach them logically, analyzing the situation to find solutions rather than reacting emotionally.
  • 🛡️ It takes time for INTJs to open up emotionally in a relationship, which can be perceived as coldness or distance by others.
  • 🚀 INTJs have high expectations for their partners, mirroring the standards they set for themselves, valuing intelligence and communication.
  • 💡 When INTJs are genuinely interested in someone, they invest time and effort to learn everything about them, showing serious interest through questions and attention.
  • 🛠️ INTJs are focused on optimizing relationships, which can lead to high expectations and a desire to change or improve their partners.
  • 🤝 Once INTJs find 'the one', they become incredibly supportive, expecting the same level of support in return, and providing a strong support system for their partners.

Q & A

  • What is the INTJ personality type known as and what makes it unique?

    -The INTJ personality type is known as the Architect or Mastermind. It is unique due to its strategic approach to problems, clear objectives, and a structured strategy for attaining them, which can be effective in a rational world but may face challenges in the unpredictability of romantic relationships.

  • Why is alone time crucial for INTJs in a romantic relationship?

    -Alone time is crucial for INTJs because they are a personality type that requires the most alone time. It allows them to recharge, rethink, and restore, which is an integral part of their personality and not something to be taken personally.

  • How does an INTJ's decision-making process in relationships differ from others?

    -An INTJ's decision-making process in relationships is slower and more deliberate. It can take months or even years for them to determine compatibility and suitability as a partnership, reflecting their strategic and thoughtful nature.

  • What communication style do INTJs prefer and why?

    -INTJs prefer direct and straightforward communication. They are not offended by bluntness and often appreciate it, especially from someone they care about, as they are not adept at picking up on subtle signs.

  • Why is being a good listener important for an INTJ's partner?

    -Being a good listener is important for an INTJ's partner because INTJs seek intellectual compatibility and enjoy discussing their thoughts and future plans. A good listener can engage in these discussions and provide the necessary brain stimulation that is essential to INTJs.

  • How do INTJs typically approach conflicts in a relationship?

    -INTJs approach conflicts through logic. They break down a situation, examine what is working and what isn't, and try to improve the current manner of operation. They use reasoning to deal with almost every aspect of their lives, including conflicts.

  • What is the misconception about INTJs in romantic relationships, and what is the reality?

    -The misconception is that INTJs are too cold, remote, or frigid for dating. The reality is that they place emphasis on rational thought and may take time to open up, but they are not inherently cold; it just requires time and effort to break through their façade.

  • What are the high expectations INTJs have for their partners?

    -INTJs have high expectations for their partners, similar to the standards they hold for themselves. They value intelligence, openness, and communication, and thus, superficial qualities like appearance alone are not enough to attract them.

  • How do INTJs show interest in someone they are attracted to?

    -When INTJs are sincerely interested in someone, they invest a lot in learning about the person. They conduct extensive research, ask many questions, and devote significant time and effort to getting to know the individual, which is a sign of flirtation and serious interest.

  • What is the potential issue with INTJs' focus on optimizing relationships?

    -The potential issue with INTJs' focus on optimizing relationships is that it might lead to unreasonable expectations and a desire to change partners. This constant need to enhance and optimize can become a problem as it may lead to overlooking their partners' feelings.

  • How does an INTJ show support in a romantic relationship once they are committed?

    -Once INTJs believe they have found 'the one,' they become incredibly supportive spouses. They ensure their partner is doing their best to realize their full potential, providing support through acts and words, and being attentive to their needs.

Outlines

00:00

🔍 Understanding INTJ Personality in Dating

This paragraph introduces the unique dating style of the INTJ personality type, known as the Architect or Mastermind. It emphasizes their strategic approach to romance, which is similar to how they tackle problems—methodically with clear objectives. The paragraph also highlights the potential challenges INTJs might face due to the irrational nature of romantic relationships, which contrasts with their preference for rationality. Key points include the need for alone time, the lengthy process of making decisions about compatibility, and the preference for direct communication. The paragraph sets the stage for 10 interesting facts about dating an INTJ, which are promised to help viewers understand compatibility and approach dating with this personality type.

05:08

🧠 Deep Insights into INTJ's Approach to Relationships

Paragraph 2 delves deeper into the INTJ's methodical approach to relationships, starting with their logical handling of conflicts and their need for time to process emotions and thoughts. It discusses the INTJ's slow opening up to emotional intimacy, which can be perceived as coldness but is actually a result of their analytical nature. The paragraph also touches on the high expectations INTJs have for their partners, mirroring their own self-standards, and their tendency to invest significantly in relationships where they see potential. The summary also points out the potential downside of their constant drive for optimization, which might lead to unrealistic expectations and relationship strain. Finally, it notes the supportive nature of INTJs once they are committed, positioning them as a strong support system for their partners.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡INTJ

INTJ refers to a personality type in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), characterized by introversion, intuition, thinking, and judging. In the context of the video, INTJs are described as strategic, rational, and requiring alone time, which is central to understanding their approach to dating and relationships.

💡Architect/Mastermind

These are alternative names for the INTJ personality type. The video uses 'Architect' to illustrate their methodical approach to problem-solving and 'Mastermind' to emphasize their strategic thinking. These terms are integral to understanding the unique traits of INTJs in romantic contexts.

💡Alone Time

Alone time is essential for INTJs to recharge and restore their energy. The video emphasizes that INTJs require more alone time than other personality types, which is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship with them. It's a key aspect of their personality that potential partners must respect and understand.

💡Compatibility

Compatibility in the video script refers to the process of determining whether two individuals are suitable for a romantic relationship. INTJs are portrayed as taking a long time to assess compatibility, which includes attraction, suitability as a partnership, and devising an action plan to pursue the relationship.

💡Direct Communication

Direct communication is valued by INTJs as they prefer clear and straightforward expressions of thoughts and feelings. The video mentions that INTJs are not adept at picking up on subtle signs and appreciate when others are blunt, which is a key aspect of how they communicate and what they expect in a relationship.

💡Contemplate

To 'contemplate' in the context of the video means to think deeply about something. INTJs seek partners who can engage in intellectual discussions and share thoughts and future plans. This term is central to understanding the intellectual compatibility that INTJs look for in a relationship.

💡Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution in the video is approached by INTJs through logic and reasoning. They analyze situations to determine what is and isn't working, aiming to improve the current state of affairs. This logical approach to conflict is a key characteristic of how INTJs handle disagreements in relationships.

💡Opening Up

The phrase 'opening up' in the video refers to the process of becoming emotionally available and sharing one's feelings. INTJs are described as taking a long time to open up due to their emphasis on rational thought over emotions, which is a significant aspect of their dating dynamics.

💡Expectations

High expectations are a hallmark of INTJs in the video, where they hold themselves and their partners to rigorous standards. This includes valuing intelligence, openness, and communication, and not being swayed by superficial traits like appearance.

💡Investment

Investment in the video script refers to the time, effort, and interest INTJs put into getting to know someone they are attracted to. When INTJs are genuinely interested, they conduct extensive research about the person, which demonstrates their serious interest and potential for a deep connection.

💡Optimization

Optimization in the video is the INTJ's constant need to improve and make things better. While this focus on efficiency can be beneficial, it may also lead to unreasonable expectations and potential issues in a relationship if it results in a desire to change the partner or meet ever-increasing standards.

💡Supportive

Being supportive is highlighted in the video as a key trait of INTJs once they have found 'the one.' They become a strong support system for their partners, both through actions and words, and expect the same level of support in return, which is essential for a balanced and fulfilling relationship.

Highlights

INTJs approach romantic relationships strategically with clear objectives and a plan.

INTJs may ignore or misinterpret the unpredictability of human nature in relationships.

INTJs require significant alone time to recharge, which is essential for their personality.

INTJs take a long time to make decisions about compatibility in a relationship.

INTJs prefer direct and clear communication, valuing straightforwardness.

INTJs seek intellectual compatibility and enjoy deep discussions with their partners.

INTJs use logic to approach and solve conflicts in a relationship.

INTJs can appear cold or distant due to their emphasis on rational thought over emotions.

INTJs have high expectations for their partners, valuing intelligence and communication.

INTJs invest time and effort to understand and impress someone they are interested in.

INTJs focus on optimizing relationships, which can lead to high expectations and potential issues.

Once INTJs find 'the one', they become incredibly supportive and dedicated partners.

INTJs expect the same level of support from their partners as they provide.

INTJs are strategic in dating, with a clear end goal in mind for their relationships.

INTJs value open communication and see confrontation avoidance as a weakness.

INTJs appreciate partners who can participate in intellectual discussions and share ideas.

INTJs may take time to open up, requiring patience and understanding from their partners.

Transcripts

play00:00

Welcome to Psychology Refresh! Today, we’re going to go over  

play00:03

the 10 Interesting Facts About  Dating An INTJ Personality Type 

play00:08

Make sure to watch each one of them and find out  how you can approach a dating game with them!

play00:14

INTJ (Architect/Mastermind) is a very unique  personality type with a lot of great traits.   

play00:20

However, people with this personality type  approach their romantic relationships in a very  

play00:25

interesting way. Architects handle romance  in the same way they tackle most problems:  

play00:30

strategically, with clear objectives  and a strategy for attaining them.  

play00:34

This strategy would be effective in a completely  rational world.  However, a romantic relationship  

play00:40

is not something people can plan out and often it  is irrational and INTJs are at risk of ignoring  

play00:47

or misinterpreting the unpredictability of human  nature and affection’s volatility.  Let's look  

play00:53

at the most interesting things you should know  about dating and relationships with an INTJ. This  

play00:59

can help you figure out which personality types  are compatible and which aren't. Furthermore,  

play01:04

it will tell you how you can approach a dating  game with an Architect and how you can achieve  

play01:09

success in that field.  Here are 10 Interesting  Facts About Dating An INTJ Personality Type.

play01:16

Number 1 – They need some time alone  no matter how much they love you 

play01:22

INTJs can work best when they are alone. Although  some introverts need more time alone than others,  

play01:28

INTJs are arguably the personality  type that requires the most alone time.  

play01:34

You must be entirely comfortable  with providing an INTJ personality  

play01:38

enough space and time for themselves if you  want to be in a romantic relationship with them.  

play01:43

It is something they are unable to give up. It is  not to be taken personally because it is simply a  

play01:49

part of their personality. This isn't to say that  an INTJ doesn't value quality time; they do; yet,  

play01:55

time to recharge, rethink and restore is just  as vital to them. However, you can think of it,  

play02:01

this way. If your personality type requires  alone time, you will never have to worry about  

play02:06

an INTJ not understanding or having to spend  every spare second with you Not bad, right?

play02:14

Number 2 – They will take  forever to make something happen 

play02:18

People who are INTJs are not impulsive. In  reality, it could take them months or even  

play02:25

years to figure out whether or  not the two of you are compatible!  

play02:29

Architects must first determine  whether they are attracted to you and  

play02:32

have some feelings for you. They must then  determine your suitability as a partnership.  

play02:37

Last but not least (in terms of time commitment),  they must devise an action plan for how they will  

play02:43

persuade you to change your mind. This is not  an overnight process. An INTJ takes a long time  

play02:49

to make a decision, but once they do, you can  bet all your money they're serious about it. 

play02:56

Number 3 - They like to be  direct and straight to the point 

play03:00

INTJs can be abrasive to the point  of rubbing people the wrong way.  

play03:05

They, on the other hand, are not offended  by bluntness. Architects actually prefer  

play03:10

it most of the time. This is especially true  when it comes from someone they care about.  

play03:14

Most INTJs aren't adept at picking up on subtle  signs, which is why they appreciate it when  

play03:21

individuals express themselves clearly. Did we  cause you any discomfort? Tell us how you did it.  

play03:26

Is this a bad idea? Please explain why. Should  we make any changes? Please tell us.  These  

play03:32

are quite common expressions of an Architect.  People with this personality type like clear  

play03:37

and straightforward communication.    They often  believe some partners are afraid of this since  

play03:42

it is so basic.   Understanding and resolving  a problem is far more important to an INTJ than  

play03:50

avoiding confrontation. Confrontation avoidance  is seen as weak and perhaps deceitful by INTJs.

play03:59

If you are enjoying our content,  please give this video a like,  

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subscribe to our channel and do not  forget to turn on the notification bell.

play04:06

Number 4 - They need someone to contemplate with 

play04:10

Because they have a mind that is concentrated  on innovation, INTJs frequently seek out  

play04:16

relationships in order to find someone who will  be compatible with their intellect and style of  

play04:22

thinking. They must discuss their thoughts,  future plans, and whatever else is on their  

play04:27

minds at the time. This also means that an INTJ  personality's partner must be a good listener.  

play04:33

That fact is very important so we will repeat it  once again.  An INTJ personality's partner must  

play04:39

be a good listener! A romantic partner that is  very compatible with the INTJ personality type  

play04:45

will be able to participate in these discussions  while also discussing their own intentions,  

play04:51

plans and ideas. Brain stimulation is  a very essential thing to every INTJ.

play04:59

Number 5 - They approach every conflict via logic Every conflict is a riddle for an INTJ to solve.  

play05:07

Though they can have their feathers ruffled  just like any other personality type,  

play05:12

however, their initial reaction is to break down a  situation, examine what is and isn't working, and  

play05:18

try to improve on the current manner of operation.  Does it appear to be a little technical? It is,  

play05:24

after all. Because INTJs use reasoning to  deal with almost every aspect of their lives,  

play05:30

they'll need some time to consider before they  can tell you how they feel about a problem. 

play05:36

Number 6 – They need a long time to open Some people think INTJs are too cold,  

play05:44

remote, or frigid to date. Because INTJs place a  greater emphasis on thinking things through and  

play05:51

engaging in rational thought rather than relying  solely on emotions in a romantic connection,  

play05:57

they have a reputation for being frigid in  relationships. Although most INTJs would protest  

play06:04

that this is not the case, breaking through  an INTJ's frigid façade does take time and  

play06:10

effort—time and effort that someone looking for  a casual date might not be prepared to put there.

play06:17

Number 7 – They have very high expectations INTJs handle dating and relationships in  

play06:24

the same way they approach their everyday lives.   Architects approach dating and relationships with  

play06:29

a strategic mindset and a clear end goal in mind.  They will have high expectations for their spouse  

play06:36

in the same way that they have high standards for  themselves. An INTJ values intelligence, openness,  

play06:43

and communication, thus superficiality, like  appearance, isn't enough to draw their attention.  

play06:49

These high expectations, while beneficial  to an INTJ because it implies, they have  

play06:54

created a truly fulfilling connection once they  are settled with someone, may be exhausting  

play07:00

for their partner who is attempting to  keep up with all of their expectations.

play07:05

Number 8 – They will invest a  lot in partners they care about 

play07:10

When it comes to flirting, the INTJ is known  for trying to impress the person they like.  

play07:15

When they are sincerely interested in someone,  they conduct extensive study and look for various  

play07:21

pieces of information about them. They desire  to know everything there is to know about this  

play07:25

individual and will devote a significant  amount of time and effort to doing so.  

play07:30

This is when the Architect is sincerely  interested in someone and can envision  

play07:35

forming a genuine bond with them. For  the INTJ, asking a lot of questions and  

play07:40

really getting to know someone is a  sign of flirtation and serious interest.

play07:47

Number 9 – They will try to  optimize the relationship 

play07:51

INTJs won't pursue something if it isn't going  to be successful or useful to them. However,  

play07:58

an INTJ's focus on efficiency might become  so intense that it harms their relationships.  

play08:04

The constant need to enhance and optimize  might lead to unreasonable expectations and  

play08:10

a desire to change partners. This is likely  to become a problem in a relationship because  

play08:16

not everyone is comfortable with their partner  wanting to change who they are, let alone  

play08:21

constantly trying to meet their expectations. They  may become so focused on optimization that they  

play08:27

forget to see their spouses' feelings. Number 10 – They are very supportive 

play08:34

INTJs have high standards for their partners,  but once they believe they've found "the one",  

play08:40

INTJs are incredibly supportive spouses. INTJs  also want their partner to provide the same level  

play08:46

of assistance. Architects will ensure that their  partner is doing their best to realize their full  

play08:52

potential when both people in the relationship  are supportive of each other and attentive to  

play08:57

their needs. This personality type proves to be  the best support system, whether via acts or words  

play09:04

and when they meet that special person, trust us  - INTJs’ romantic partner will be extremely lucky!

play09:13

These videos will be really helpful for you!

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INTJ DatingPersonality TypesRelationship TipsStrategic RomanceAlone TimeDecision MakingDirect CommunicationIntellectual MatchConflict ResolutionHigh ExpectationsPartner Support