34% Of Young Adults Report Feeling Loneliness - Jordan Peterson

Chris Williamson
20 Dec 202315:21

Summary

TLDRThe Harvard Graduate School of Education's report reveals alarming rates of anxiety among young adults aged 18 to 25, with 34% feeling lonely and 58% lacking purpose. The discussion explores the impact of societal and therapeutic influences on mental health, emphasizing the importance of long-term relationships and social integration for a stable identity and purpose. It critiques the modern focus on self-esteem and short-term gratification, suggesting that a broader, socially inclusive aim is key to mental well-being.

Takeaways

  • πŸ“Š A recent report from The Harvard Graduate School of Education reveals high levels of anxiety among young adults, with 34% feeling lonely, 51% affected by achievement pressure, and 58% lacking purpose.
  • πŸ” There is a significant gap in understanding the mental health of young adults compared to teens, despite young adults reporting double the rates of anxiety and depression.
  • πŸ‘¨β€πŸ« The speaker suggests that the modern therapeutic approach may contribute to mental health issues by promoting a subjective view of mental health and identity, leading to self-centeredness.
  • 🧐 The idea that one can define their own identity is criticized as unrealistic, as identity is a social construct that requires mutual recognition from others.
  • πŸ’‘ A long-term, stable relationship is posited as a prerequisite for mental health, suggesting that commitment to others and community can provide a sense of purpose and reduce anxiety.
  • πŸ€” The speaker questions the modern focus on self-esteem and self-identity, arguing that it may lead to increased anxiety and a lack of direction in life.
  • 🎯 The importance of setting aims and goals that are socially inclusive and long-term is highlighted as a means to achieve mental health and a meaningful life.
  • πŸŽ™οΈ The speaker's experience with podcasting is used as an example of how engaging in activities that contribute to a broader audience can provide a sense of purpose.
  • πŸ”— Accountability and maintaining harmony between one's words and actions are presented as important aspects of social integration and personal development.
  • 🚫 The reduction of sexuality to mere sexual gratification is critiqued, with a call to embed it within the context of a committed relationship for a healthier conceptualization.
  • 🌐 The script contrasts two reproductive strategies in the animal kingdom to emphasize the high-investment strategy of humans, which involves long-term relationships and commitment.

Q & A

  • What percentage of young adults aged 18 to 25 reported feelings of loneliness according to the Harvard Graduate School of Education report?

    -According to the report, 34% of young adults aged 18 to 25 reported feelings of loneliness.

  • How did achievement pressure impact the mental health of young adults as mentioned in the transcript?

    -Achievement pressure negatively impacted the mental health of 51% of the young adults surveyed.

  • What percentage of young adults felt a lack of meaning or purpose in their lives?

    -58% of the young adults reported lacking meaning or purpose in their lives in the last month.

  • What is the speaker's view on the role of therapists in shaping mental health perceptions?

    -The speaker suggests that therapists, who are described as 'secular, liberal Protestants,' tend to conceptualize mental health as subjective, which may contribute to the idea that one can simply define their own identity.

  • Why does the speaker believe that young adults might be feeling lost?

    -The speaker believes young adults might be feeling lost because they are thinking about mental health as something dependent solely on themselves, rather than considering the importance of long-term, stable relationships and social integration.

  • What does the speaker suggest as a precondition for successful adaptation as a young adult?

    -The speaker suggests that being married or establishing a long-term, stable relationship is a precondition for successful adaptation as a young adult.

  • How does the speaker relate the practice of short-term sexual gratification to the development of negative personality traits?

    -The speaker argues that practicing short-term sexual gratification can lead to the development of psychopathic, narcissistic, and sadistic traits, as it involves using oneself or others for short-term pleasure.

  • What does the speaker say about the consequences of indulging in short-term sexual gratification, as shared by Russell Brand?

    -The speaker mentions that Russell Brand experienced despair, anxiety, and hopelessness as consequences of indulging in short-term sexual gratification.

  • What is the speaker's view on the relationship between self-esteem and the pursuit of short-term desires?

    -The speaker suggests that focusing on self-esteem and the pursuit of short-term desires can lead to a downward spiral of anxiety, loneliness, and aimlessness.

  • What does the speaker suggest about the type of people who engage in short-term sexual relationships?

    -The speaker suggests that those who engage in short-term sexual relationships are likely to be damaged individuals, and that such behavior can lead to further damage.

  • How does the speaker connect the idea of identity to mental health?

    -The speaker connects the idea of identity to mental health by stating that playing identity games in the modern world, such as defining oneself by sexuality, can lead to anxiety and hopelessness.

Outlines

00:00

πŸ“Š Mental Health Crisis Among Young Adults

This paragraph discusses a report from The Harvard Graduate School of Education that highlights the mental health struggles of young adults aged 18 to 25. Key findings include high rates of loneliness (34%), achievement pressure negatively affecting mental health (51%), and a lack of meaning or purpose (58%). The speaker notes that young adults experience twice the anxiety and depression rates compared to teens, and attributes part of this crisis to the therapeutic world's emphasis on subjective mental health and self-identity. The paragraph also touches on the importance of long-term, stable relationships for mental health and criticizes the modern tendency to define oneself by immediate desires and short-term gratification.

05:01

πŸŽ™οΈ The Role of Podcasting and Social Responsibility

The speaker explores the personal satisfaction derived from podcasting, emphasizing that it is not about self-focus but about establishing a responsible relationship with an audience. Accountability and consistency in one's actions and words are highlighted as crucial for maintaining harmony within a social hierarchy. The paragraph delves into the concept of setting aims and goals that are beneficial in the long term and across various social contexts. It critiques the modern identity games that lead to anxiety and hopelessness, particularly the reduction of self to one's sexuality, and questions the long-term consequences of such a narrow self-definition.

10:03

πŸ›Œ The Consequences of Short-Term Sexual Gratification

This paragraph examines the impact of indulging in short-term sexual relationships and the personality traits associated with such behaviors, like psychopathy, narcissism, and sadism. The speaker argues that consistent practice of short-term gratification can lead individuals down a path of despair, anxiety, and hopelessness. The discussion includes an anecdote about Russell Brand's experiences with fame and the pitfalls of unlimited access to short-term sexual encounters. The paragraph concludes by warning against the desolation that comes from a life focused on immediate, low-level desires and the importance of broader life goals and social connections.

15:04

πŸ“˜ Promoting Element: A Hydration and Health Product

The final paragraph is a promotional message for Element, a hydration product that the speaker has been using for over three years. It describes the benefits of Element, including its electrolyte ratio and its impact on the speaker's daily routine, appetite, and brain health. The promotion introduces a new flavor, chocolate caramel, and offers a no-questions-asked refund policy. The paragraph invites listeners to try Element with a special offer for a free sample pack of all eight flavors with the first box purchase.

Mindmap

Keywords

πŸ’‘Anxiety

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. In the video's theme, it is highlighted as a significant issue among young adults, with a report indicating that young adults aged 18 to 25 experience higher rates of anxiety and depression compared to teens. The script discusses the various drivers of anxiety, such as loneliness, achievement pressure, and lack of purpose.

πŸ’‘Mental Health

Mental health refers to a person's emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how one thinks, feels, and acts, and also influences one's ability to cope with stress and to relate to others. The video emphasizes the negative impact of achievement pressure and lack of meaning on young adults' mental health, suggesting that these factors can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and depression.

πŸ’‘Loneliness

Loneliness is the distressing feeling that arises from a lack of social connection or companionship. The script reports that 34% of young adults aged 18 to 25 feel lonely, which is a key driver contributing to their anxiety. Loneliness is portrayed as a significant issue that can negatively affect mental health.

πŸ’‘Achievement Pressure

Achievement pressure is the stress or strain one feels to perform well or to meet certain standards of success. The script mentions that 51% of young adults feel that this pressure negatively impacts their mental health, indicating that societal expectations can lead to mental strain and anxiety.

πŸ’‘Meaning or Purpose

Meaning or purpose refers to a sense of significance or reason in one's life. The script reveals that 58% of young adults reported lacking this, which is linked to their mental health struggles. The absence of a clear purpose or meaning can lead to feelings of emptiness and can exacerbate anxiety.

πŸ’‘Identity

Identity is the characteristics determining who or what a person or thing is. The video discusses the concept of identity in the context of mental health, suggesting that a stable and integrated identity can provide a sense of belonging and purpose, which can protect against anxiety. The script criticizes the modern tendency to define identity based on subjective desires rather than broader social roles and responsibilities.

πŸ’‘Therapeutic World

The term 'therapeutic world' in the script refers to the field of therapy and the cultural influence it has on conceptualizing mental health. The speaker argues that therapists, who are often portrayed as 'secular, liberal Protestants,' tend to view mental health as a subjective, internal state, which may contribute to the rise of individualistic and self-focused identity issues.

πŸ’‘Social Hierarchy

Social hierarchy refers to the ranking or pecking order within a society or group. The script suggests that establishing oneself within a social hierarchy can provide a sense of identity and purpose, which can be protective against anxiety. It implies that taking on roles and responsibilities within a community can contribute to mental health and well-being.

πŸ’‘Long-term Stable Relationship

A long-term stable relationship is a lasting and secure bond between individuals, often romantic or familial. The video posits that being in such a relationship is crucial for mental health, as it provides a foundation for identity and purpose, and counters the negative effects of aimlessness and impulsiveness.

πŸ’‘Self-esteem Movement

The self-esteem movement is a cultural and psychological trend that emphasizes the importance of self-worth and self-acceptance. The script critiques this movement, suggesting that an overemphasis on self-esteem can lead to a self-focused mentality, which may contribute to anxiety and hopelessness by prioritizing immediate desires over long-term well-being.

πŸ’‘Sexuality

Sexuality in the script is discussed in the context of identity and mental health. It is criticized when reduced to mere sexual desire or acts, suggesting that a healthy understanding of sexuality should be embedded within a relationship and not used as a defining aspect of identity. The speaker argues that defining oneself by sexuality can lead to a narrow and potentially damaging self-concept.

Highlights

A recent report by The Harvard Graduate School of Education reveals the drivers of anxiety in young adults aged 18 to 25.

34% of young adults reported feelings of loneliness, indicating a significant issue with social isolation.

51% claimed achievement pressure negatively affected their mental health, highlighting societal expectations' impact.

58% of respondents reported a lack of meaning or purpose in their lives, underscoring a widespread existential crisis.

50% stated their mental health suffered from uncertainty about life direction, emphasizing the challenges of young adulthood.

Young adults report twice the rates of anxiety and depression compared to teens, revealing a critical transition period.

The therapeutic world's approach to mental health as subjective may contribute to the issue, suggesting a flawed conceptualization.

Therapists' tendency to allow individuals to define their own identity may lead to unrealistic expectations and mental distress.

Long-term, stable relationships are suggested as a precondition for successful adaptation in young adulthood, emphasizing commitment.

Commitment to others, family, and community provides identity, purpose, and protection from anxiety, offering a multi-level approach.

The pursuit of validation may actually be an investigation into one's social hierarchy, suggesting a deeper need for social integration.

Self-consciousness and negative emotion are linked, with self-reflective descriptors often leading to distress.

Engaging in activities that benefit a broader audience can provide satisfaction and a sense of utility, beyond self-focus.

Aimlessness and impulsiveness are equated with a lack of commitment and a focus on immediate desires, leading to immaturity.

The identity game of defining oneself by sexuality is critiqued, suggesting a reductionist and potentially harmful perspective.

A high investment strategy in sexual reproduction for humans implies that sexuality is embedded in relationships, not isolated acts.

Short-term sexual gratification is associated with negative personality traits like psychopathy and narcissism, indicating harm.

The self-esteem movement's focus on 'me' may inadvertently lead to a focus on immediate desires, causing desperation and unhappiness.

The promotion of element as a daily supplement for hydration, appetite regulation, and brain health, with a risk-free trial offer.

Transcripts

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I wanted to bring this to you so

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interesting so recent report was

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released by The Harvard Graduate School

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of Education detailing the drivers of

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anxiety for young adults aged 18 to 25

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34% reported feelings of loneliness 51%

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said achievement pressure negatively

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impacted their mental health 58%

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reported lacking meaning or purpose in

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their lives in the last month 50%

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reported their mental health was

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negatively influenced by not knowing

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what to do with my life there has been

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much examination of the well-being of

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teens aged 14 to 17 not much has been

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known about those occupying the critical

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young adult years and yet young adults

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report roughly twice the rates of

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anxiety and depression as teens the

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young adults are not

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okay yeah I believe that I saw even with

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my own kids that the the mo like when I

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was a

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kid probably the time between 13 and 15

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was the most difficult transition but I

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saw that become older by the time my

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kids my kids are 30 now basically by the

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time my kids were young adults I could

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see that that transition into adulthood

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was the place where the difficulties

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were starting to

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mount I think perversely that the

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therapeutic world has a fair bit to do

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with this partly

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because therapists who are basically

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secular

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liberal

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Protestants that's a good way of

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thinking about them tend to

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conceptualize mental health as mental as

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subjective right it's like mental health

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is something you carry around in your

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head like you carry around your identity

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that's why we have these ridiculous

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ideas that you can just Define your own

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identity I am whoever I say I am well

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obviously you're not because other

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people what other people have to go

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along with your game they're buddy and

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they're either going to do that they're

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not going to do it or they're going to

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do it voluntarily or they're going to do

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it by force if they're not going to do

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it you're screwed if you have to use

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Force that's not going to work and if

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you want them to do it voluntarily then

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it's not going to be all about you

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obviously even no four-year-old can find

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someone to play with if he always gets

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to pick the game okay

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so why might young adults be lost well

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part of it is that they're thinking

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I'm not trying to be judgmental of a

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whole generation it's a it's a form of

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thought your mental health isn't

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dependent on you that's not the right

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way to think about

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it you I don't think you can be mentally

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healthy in the absence of a long-term

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stable relationship so you have to be

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married let's put let's let's make that

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part of the precondition for successful

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adaptation as a young adult you have to

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be married so you have to establish a

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relationship with someone that

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integrates sexuality that's there for

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the long run because there for the long

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run is the same as

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sane there for tomorrow there for the

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next minute that's not sanity that's

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impulsiveness that's aimlessness they're

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the same thing if it's what if it's all

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about what you want right now or more

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accurately all about what something in

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you wants this moment that's the

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definition of immature Insanity you have

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to commit so you commit to someone else

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you commit to your family you commit to

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your community like there are multiple

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levels of identity that stretch out into

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the social world and voluntarily

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adopting those levels of hierarchical

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responsibility gives you an identity it

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gives you a purpose it protects you from

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anxiety it does that in all sorts of

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ways like you know you said earlier that

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one of the things you do is seek for

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validation and you you related that to

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uncomfortable experiences you had when

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you were very young well it might not be

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precisely that you're seeking for

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validation you might be properly

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investigating how you should be embedded

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in a social

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hierarchy at every possible level it's

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like well people think their mental

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health is something that they just carry

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around in their head and that if they

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just got the way they looked at the

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world right or if other people just

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played their game that all of a sudden

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they'd be meant healthy it's

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like there's no difference between

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thinking about yourself and being

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miserable technically if you if you if

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you look at you can you can

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group descriptive statements about

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yourself

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statistically all the all the

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descriptive all the descriptors that are

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reflective of self-consciousness load on

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negative emot otion can you not think

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about yourself in a positive

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way probably not really

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not well let's take that

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apart you like doing your podcast and

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you feel positive about it okay but your

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podcast isn't about

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you right so if you're thinking about

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how you're of utility to a broad number

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of people you know maybe you would take

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some satisfaction in that but that isn't

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exactly thinking about yourself is it

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it's thinking about the relationship

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you've established with other people and

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it's a relationship of responsibility

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why do you like your podcast you can

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pursue what you're curious about but you

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wouldn't have to do that publicly okay

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so why do you do it

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publicly for a few reasons first one

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being that it keeps me accountable that

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was one of the main reasons that it kept

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me accountable because I knew that if I

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didn't do it if I wasn't rigorous and

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precise and and uh aligned with what I'd

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said and done previously that there was

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an external eye that's watching keeps

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okay okay so well that's very

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interesting so I would also say that's

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not exactly about you that's about your

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ability to live to establish Harmony

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between what you say and the way you act

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and the expectations that an

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increasingly Broad Social Community has

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a view as a consequence of what you say

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and how you act okay that's not about

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you that's about your nesting in a

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social hierarchy right and so I think I

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think you can and then you might say too

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well maybe you're thinking about

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yourself when you're establishing an aim

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or a goal well not if they're good aims

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or

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goals because if they good aims or goals

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and and I would say what good means

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technically is an aim or goal that will

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play out

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well in the medium to long long

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term across a multitude of situations

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including many many people so the a

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solution that iterates across

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time that and that

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is situation independent and that's

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broadly socially inclusive is a better

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aim right it's a higher aim because it

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integrates more all right now you might

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want to be setting up aims and you might

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be pleased about how you're prog ressing

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in relation to those aims but if those

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aims aren't don't have the

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characteristics that I just

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described

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then if the aims have the

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characteristics I just described they're

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not about you and then we could also ask

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what do you mean about you exactly what

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you are you talking about here you know

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and so we play these identity games in

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the modern world that are making people

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anxious and hopeless and one identity

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game is I'm defined by my sexuality okay

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so let's take that I'm defined by my

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sexuality okay but what do you mean by

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your sexuality exactly do you mean the

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opportunity to engage in sex like are

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you reducing sexuality as such to the

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act of sex okay let's say you are so now

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what you're telling me is that who you

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are is who you are when you're sexually

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desirous that's what you've reduced

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yourself to but it's even more than that

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it's the kind of SE ual desire that

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wants gratification right now with no

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relationship whatsoever so not only have

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you now reduced who you are to your

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sexual desire you've reduced your sexual

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desire to the minimal set of

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preconditions that would satisfy it well

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then the first question that might come

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up there is why not just use porn it's a

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lot simpler and the answer to that is

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that is what people are doing well it's

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no wonder that they're anxious and

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Lonesome and aimless because they've

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they've reduced themselves to to a

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short-term desire they found the easiest

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possible way of gratifying that and

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they've abandoned everything that would

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be a much broader conceptualization of

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what sexuality would be if it was

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embedded properly in how about a

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relationship to start with and I'm not

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just these aren't just opinions

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so there are two different strategies of

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reproduction broadly in the animal world

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one is

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zero

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investment fish mosquitoes million

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Offspring they all die but one right so

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you can reduce reproduction in

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mosquitoes basically to sex and you make

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a million mosquito Offspring all you

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need is one to survive problem solved

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okay on the opposite end of the spectrum

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literally are human beings because we

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have the longest dependency period of

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any animal by a large margin we have a

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high investment strategy y sexual

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reproduction strategy so whatever sex is

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for human beings isn't you're off and

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that's over that's not what it is for

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human beings it's embedded in a

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relationship now you might say well we

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could pull sexuality out of the

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relationship and just indulge in it for

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the pleasure okay so now let's forget

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about all the other animals now we've

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got two types of human being we've got

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the one night stand human being

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repetitive one night stands and we've

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got the long-term committed relationship

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human being and then we might ask okay

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what are the personality characteristics

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of the people in those bins so let's go

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to the short-term one night stand

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sequential relationship types okay who

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are they Psychopathic narcissistic

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mellan and sadistic all one night stand

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people if they don't start out that way

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they're going to end that

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way right because you can't use your

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yourself or other people for short-term

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gratification look the definition of a

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psychopath is someone who uses someone

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for short-term

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gratification okay so it's definitional

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right so and then you might say well I'm

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not like that I just like sex it's like

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yeah but if you practice that for five

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years you're not going to become what

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you practice you know

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and I talked to Russell Brand about this

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a little bit on and I can say this

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because it was on his podcast so it's

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not like this is secret you know Russell

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had what Andrew Tate promis as his

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followers he had Fame he was

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charismatic and he had more or less

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unlimited access to short-term sexual

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gratification okay in combination with

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you know the chemicals that make that

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even more likely alcohol and cocaine

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let's

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say so what are the consequences well I

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asked him what were the consequences you

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had this he said uh despair anxiety and

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hopelessness right but but not just that

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because you know Russell got himself in

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trouble here month and a half ago just

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about took him out well it was his past

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coming back to haunt him like and he had

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to scroll through his psyche and see you

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know well and with all these short-term

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relationships these

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short-term sexual gratification binges

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that I indulged in did I ever cross the

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line well the answer is well you're

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going to have like 200 encounters like

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that you're not going to cross the line

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when you're drunk when you're on cocaine

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you're going to cross a bunch of lines

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and then it's going to come back and

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haunt you and

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so it's very interesting to see in our

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culture back to the hopelessness and

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despair that you were mentioning that's

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characterizing young adults life it's

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like well it's all about me that's the

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self-esteem movement but then me becomes

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it's all about what I want and then that

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becomes it's all about what I want right

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now then it's it's what the lowest part

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of me wants right now and to hell with

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everyone else it's like

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okay how are you going to play that game

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without being desperate you're going to

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be desperate as soon as you start

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playing that game and the other thing

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it's even worse than that because you're

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going to end up with

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the Jeremy the the the porn star problem

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anybody you're not going to be very

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happy about being with the people who

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want to play that game with you because

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they're not going to be the people that

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are really going to make you feel that

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life is worth living they're going to be

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the people especially on the female

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side women who are willing to take

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advantage of themselves for short-term

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sexual gratification those aren't happy

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women they're they're usually damaged

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women and if they're not damaged when

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they start playing that game they're

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going to be plenty damaged by the time

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they're done with it we'll get back to

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talking to Jordan in one minute but

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first I need to tell you about element

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I've used element every single morning

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for over three years now it is the way I

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start every single day it tastes

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fantastic it optimizes my hydration

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helps to regulate my appetite and it

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improves my brain health element

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contains a science backed electrolyte

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ratio of sodium potassium and magnesium

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best of all they've got a brand new

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chocolate caramel flavor which you can

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have hot hot element I hear you say what

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sort of hydration blasphemy is this but

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no it tastes fantastic and on cold

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mornings it's perfect there is a no BS

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no questions asked refund policy so you

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can buy it and try it completely

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risk-free and if you do not like it for

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any reason they will give you your money

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back and you don't even need to return

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the Box I've used this every single

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morning for as long as I can remember

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and that orange flavor is phenomenal

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plus that chocolate caramel is available

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right now if you go to the link in the

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show notes below or head to drink LMN

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t.com /od wisdom for a free sample pack

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of all eight flavors with your first box

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that's drink LM nt.com

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slod wisdom thank you very much for

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tuning in if you enjoyed that clip with

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Jordan you will love the over 3-hour

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long podcast episode which is available

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right here go

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on give it a tap

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Related Tags
Mental HealthAnxiety DriversYoung AdultsAchievement PressureLonelinessPurpose SeekingIdentity CrisisSocial HierarchyLong-term RelationshipsSelf-EsteemCultural Impact