It's Not Manipulation, It's Strategic Communication | Keisha Brewer | TEDxGeorgetown

TEDx Talks
9 Jan 202010:56

Summary

TLDRThe speaker emphasizes the importance of strategic communication, highlighting that both 'what you say' and 'how you say it' are crucial for achieving goals. Through personal and professional anecdotes, they demonstrate how understanding the audience, identifying goals, communicating value, and expressing needs can overcome resistance and create mutually beneficial outcomes. The talk aims to equip listeners with the tools to effectively navigate communication challenges in various aspects of life.

Takeaways

  • 🗣️ The phrase 'it's not what you say, it's how you say it' is a common misconception; both what you say and how you say it are crucial for effective communication.
  • 🎯 Strategic communication is about communicating with purpose, showcasing value to achieve a goal, and evoking specific responses from the target audience.
  • 🔍 Understanding your audience is key to successful communication; it involves researching their interests, values, and the type of partnerships or relationships they seek.
  • 📈 Strategic communication can help in both personal and professional scenarios, from securing a partnership with a major company to helping a friend rekindle a romantic relationship.
  • 💡 The speaker emphasizes the importance of identifying the goal of communication, which guides the approach and ensures the message is delivered with a clear intent.
  • 🤝 Strategic communication aims to create mutually beneficial situations where both parties feel they are getting what they want from the interaction.
  • 📝 The process of strategic communication involves four steps: identifying the goal, understanding the audience, communicating the value, and expressing the need.
  • 🚀 The speaker's success in securing a partnership with Google and helping a friend in her personal life exemplifies the effectiveness of the strategic communication method.
  • 💼 In a professional context, strategic communication can lead to career advancements, such as a raise, as demonstrated by the speaker's experience.
  • 🤔 Resistance in communication often arises from skipping the strategic steps, leading to misunderstandings or ineffective outcomes.
  • 📢 The speaker's presentation itself is an example of strategic communication, where the audience's attention was gained by following the same method discussed in the talk.

Q & A

  • What is the main theme of the speaker's presentation?

    -The main theme of the speaker's presentation is strategic communications, emphasizing that both what you say and how you say it are crucial for achieving desired outcomes in various life situations.

  • What is the speaker's definition of strategic communications?

    -Strategic communications, as defined by the speaker, is communicating with purpose while showcasing value in order to achieve a goal, and it helps evoke specific responses from the target audience.

  • What are the four steps the speaker outlines for effective strategic communication?

    -The four steps outlined by the speaker are: 1) Identify the goal, 2) Understand your audience, 3) Communicate the value, and 4) Express the need.

  • How did the speaker apply strategic communications in their professional life?

    -In their professional life, the speaker applied strategic communications by researching Google's mission and interests, aligning it with their company's mission, and crafting an email to propose a partnership.

  • Can you provide an example of how the speaker used strategic communications in a personal scenario?

    -In a personal scenario, the speaker helped a friend communicate with a romantic interest by understanding the man's values and interests, advising her to have an organic conversation to mutually express and align their values.

  • What was the outcome of the speaker's strategic communication with Google?

    -The outcome was that Google responded positively, expressing interest in partnering for an event, which led the speaker to realize the effectiveness of their strategic communication approach.

  • How did the speaker's friend, Jessica, utilize strategic communications to reconnect with a romantic interest?

    -Jessica used strategic communications by identifying common interests and values with the man, engaging in an organic conversation, and eventually leading to a mutual understanding and the opportunity to hang out.

  • What is the speaker's view on whether strategic communications is a form of manipulation?

    -The speaker clarifies that strategic communications is not manipulation but rather a method that creates mutually beneficial situations where both parties feel they are getting what they want.

  • Why might people face resistance in communication according to the speaker?

    -People may face resistance in communication because they are skipping one or more of the strategic communication steps, such as not identifying the goal or not expressing the need effectively.

  • How did the speaker engage the audience during the presentation?

    -The speaker engaged the audience by asking questions, sharing relatable scenarios, and applying the strategic communication steps to the presentation itself, making the content interactive and relevant.

  • What was the speaker's goal for the audience in terms of understanding strategic communications?

    -The speaker's goal for the audience was to help them understand what strategic communications really is, how it can be beneficial in their lives, and how it can help combat resistance in communication.

Outlines

00:00

🗣️ The Power of Strategic Communication

The speaker starts by challenging the common notion that 'it's not what you say, but how you say it,' asserting that both are equally important in strategic communication. They introduce the concept of strategic communication as a tool for achieving goals and overcoming communication barriers. The speaker shares personal and professional anecdotes to illustrate the impact of strategic communication. In a professional scenario, they describe their experience as a communications specialist tasked with securing a partnership with Google, highlighting the importance of aligning missions and values. In a personal scenario, they recount helping a friend communicate effectively to rekindle a romantic relationship. Both stories emphasize the four-step process of strategic communication: identifying the goal, understanding the audience, communicating value, and expressing the need.

05:00

🚀 Applying Strategic Communication for Success

This paragraph delves deeper into the speaker's professional success in securing a partnership with Google, which led to a realization of the need for a raise. The speaker reflects on the effectiveness of the same strategic communication method applied in different scenarios. They define strategic communication as purposeful communication that showcases value to achieve a goal, clarifying that it is not about manipulation but creating mutually beneficial situations. The speaker outlines the four steps used in their scenarios: identifying the goal, understanding the audience, communicating value, and expressing the need. They also demonstrate how these steps were applied in their presentation to the audience, emphasizing the importance of these steps in overcoming communication challenges and resistance.

10:01

🛑 Common Pitfalls in Communication

The speaker concludes by discussing common mistakes people make in communication, such as skipping steps in the strategic communication process. They explain that failing to identify the goal can lead to aimless conversations, while neglecting the other steps can cause misunderstandings and missed opportunities. The speaker reiterates the importance of both the content and the manner of communication, reinforcing the message that strategic communication is essential for achieving desired outcomes in various aspects of life.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Strategic Communications

Strategic Communications refers to the deliberate and purposeful exchange of information to achieve specific goals. In the video, it is the central theme that the speaker uses to illustrate how one can effectively communicate to get what they need out of life. The speaker provides a personal and professional example to demonstrate the application of strategic communications in securing a partnership with Google and helping a friend in a personal relationship.

💡Resistance

Resistance in the context of the video refers to the obstacles or opposition one might face when trying to communicate their viewpoint or achieve a goal. The speaker mentions that people often stop pursuing what they want due to the resistance they encounter in their communication, which can be overcome by using strategic communications effectively.

💡Value Alignment

Value Alignment is the concept of matching or finding common values between parties to establish a connection or partnership. In the script, the speaker uses this concept to guide a friend on how to communicate with a potential romantic interest, highlighting the shared interests in music, food, and family values as a basis for a relationship.

💡Communication Specialist

A Communication Specialist is a professional who is skilled in crafting and delivering messages across various channels to meet organizational objectives. The speaker introduces themselves as a Communication Specialist, using their role to demonstrate how strategic communications can be applied in both professional settings, like securing partnerships, and personal scenarios.

💡Goal Identification

Goal Identification is the process of clearly defining what one aims to achieve. The speaker emphasizes the importance of identifying the goal in both professional and personal communications as the first step in the strategic communication process, whether it's landing a partnership with Google or helping a friend get back together with a romantic interest.

💡Audience Understanding

Audience Understanding involves researching and comprehending the preferences, interests, and values of the target audience. The speaker illustrates this by researching Google's interests and values to craft an appealing partnership proposal and by advising a friend to understand the interests of a potential partner through social media.

💡Mutual Benefit

Mutual Benefit is the concept where both parties in a communication exchange feel they are gaining something of value. The speaker clarifies that strategic communications is not about manipulation but about creating situations where both parties feel satisfied with the outcome, as seen in the successful partnership with Google and the personal relationship advice.

💡Evoke Responses

To Evoke Responses means to stimulate or bring about certain reactions or feelings. In the video, the speaker explains that strategic communications is designed to elicit specific responses from the target audience, which is crucial for achieving the desired outcome in any communication scenario.

💡Millennial Talk

Millennial Talk refers to the colloquial language or slang used by the millennial generation. The speaker uses phrases like 'shoot my shot' and 'slide into his DM' to illustrate how to approach communication in a casual and relatable manner, especially in the context of the personal relationship advice given to the friend.

💡Presentation

A Presentation is a formal discourse or talk intended to inform, persuade, or motivate the audience. The speaker uses the context of giving a presentation to demonstrate the application of the four steps of strategic communication in real-time, showing how these principles can be applied effectively in various settings.

Highlights

The importance of strategic communications in achieving goals, emphasizing that both what you say and how you say it are crucial.

The speaker refutes the common belief that it's only the delivery that matters, asserting that the content of communication is equally important.

Introduction of the concept of strategic communications as a tool for overcoming obstacles and achieving desired outcomes in life.

The idea that resistance in life could be due to ineffective communication methods is presented.

The speaker's professional background in communications is shared, including her roles in news writing, advertising, and as a communications specialist.

An anecdote about the speaker's first day on the job, tasked with reaching out to Google for a partnership, demonstrating initiative and strategic thinking.

A personal story involving a friend seeking advice on how to communicate with a romantic interest, illustrating the application of strategic communications in personal life.

The speaker's success in helping her friend rekindle a relationship through strategic communication, showing the method's effectiveness.

A professional success story where strategic communication led to a partnership with Google, highlighting the method's practical application.

The realization that strategic communication can lead to personal and professional growth, such as a raise or a promotion.

A detailed explanation of what strategic communications entails, moving beyond textbook definitions to practical understanding.

The four-step method of strategic communication outlined: identifying the goal, understanding the audience, communicating value, and expressing the need.

The emphasis on strategic communication creating mutually beneficial situations rather than manipulation.

The speaker's application of the four-step method in her presentation to the audience, demonstrating the method's teachability.

The importance of following the four steps in strategic communication to avoid common pitfalls and resistance in communication.

A conclusion that reinforces the message that both the content and delivery of communication are essential for effective interaction.

Transcripts

play00:09

good morning good morning

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i'm excited to be your first speaker of

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today by a show of hands

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how many of you have heard of the phrase

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it's not what you say it's how you say

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it

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do you remember the person who told that

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to you

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tell them they lied repeat after me what

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you say is just as important as how you

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say it your turn

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what you say is just as important as how

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you say it

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and that is called strategic

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communications

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and strategic communications is probably

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the very thing you've been needing this

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entire time to help you get what you

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need out of life

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see most people stop going after the

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bigger things that they want in life

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simply because well they're just not

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getting it

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but what they don't realize is that

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they're causing some sort of resistance

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in the way that they're communicating

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that's helping them not get what they

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want out of life how many of you have

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been in the situation where no matter

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how much you talk and talk and tell

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someone your viewpoint they're just not

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getting it right

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no matter how much you change your

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approach and your delivery they just not

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understanding your viewpoint whether

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that's to a family member whether that's

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to your spouse whether that's to your

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boss or just not getting it i think

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we've all experienced that type of

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frustration

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today

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i'm going to give you the tools to

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strategically communicate through all of

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those issues and combat that resistance

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and i'm going to do that first by taking

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you through two parallel situations

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very such very real situations to me one

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personal and one professional starting

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with professional

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so i started my career in communications

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a few years ago starting with news

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writing and reporting

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then going on to advertising specialists

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then landing a job as a communications

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specialist

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in my communications specialist role i

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was able to do things such as email

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marketing

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mission-driven partnerships writing

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speeches for the ceo

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things of that nature

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on the first day of my communication

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specialist role my boss said

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i know this is a lot it's your first day

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you're supposed to be doing paperwork

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things of that nature but do you mind if

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you reach out to google and see if they

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can land a partnership with our next

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event next month

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and i'm like you're right that's a very

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big ass for the first day i am supposed

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to be doing paperwork where's hr

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so

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either way it's my job right it's the

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first day you want to make a big

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impression i shoot my shot that's

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millennial talk for just get it done

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and so

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i look up google's mission

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i figure out what they're interested in

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the type of partnerships that they're

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interested in

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then i think about my company's mission

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what type of partnerships are we

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interested in what is our mission what

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are we trying to convey

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i wrap that up into an email

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i send it to their communications

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department i express the need

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send it on its way

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transition into my personal life

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i get home and i'm scrolling on

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instagram like us millennials do

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and i get a dm from my friend jessica

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and she's like oh my gosh keisha the guy

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i like just damned me

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i'm like okay

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she's like and he liked my picture on

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instagram

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okay so what do you want to do now

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she's like well you're a communication

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specialist now teach me how to

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communicate with him

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as if that's what we did right

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so i'm like okay

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well i'll go with it what's the goal

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what do you want him to do what do you

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want to get out of the conversation she

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says well i want him to be my boyfriend

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again

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it was a like on instagram right how far

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are we going to take this

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but

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i let her keep going and i'm like okay

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so what do you know about this man she's

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like well i know that our values they

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pretty much go together because on his

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instagram i see that he posts music and

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i like music and he likes food and i

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like food and he likes his mom i like my

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mom and i'm like okay

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sure fine okay

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and i'm like out of all the people

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on instagram that he's engaging with why

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you

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and she goes on to tell me about how she

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thinks their missions of being

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successful in the entertainment industry

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will align

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all right

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so here's what i tell her to do

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slide into his dm

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that's millennial talk for send a

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private message

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and just organically have a conversation

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like you normally would

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allow him to organically express his

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values allow him to organically express

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his interest and then you express yours

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and see how they mutually align

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at the end of it

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see if you guys can go out hang out grab

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a drink or something

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cool

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long story short

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six months later

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here they are

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i played matchmaker kudos to me

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moving on into my professional life i go

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back to work the next day and my boss is

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like keisha remember how i told you to

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email google about that partnership

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yeah less than 12 hours ago she's like

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well they emailed us this morning and

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they said they actually want to partner

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on the event

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and it was at that very moment that i

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realized

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i need a raise

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but it was always it was also at that

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moment that i realized i just

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strategically communicated

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into very different scenarios using the

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same exact method

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and that method is what i'm going to

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share with you today

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now let's take a step back

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what does strategic communications

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really mean

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how many of you have taken a strategic

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communications class or communications

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course by a show of hands

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great

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so what you probably learned is

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something along the lines of strategic

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communications is communicating the best

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message through the right channels

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measured against well considered

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organizational communication specific

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goals great right

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but through my two scenarios which you

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can probably see is that strategic

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communications is simply

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communicating with purpose

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while showcasing value in order to

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achieve a goal

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and at the heart of it all strategic

play06:41

communications helps you evoke specific

play06:43

responses out of your target audience

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whether that be a spouse a love interest

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your boss

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and in those responses it helps you get

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what you want out of the situation as

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well

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now you can also be thinking is she

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teaching us how to manipulate people

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maybe

play07:03

but not really because strategic

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communications creates mutually

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beneficial situations strategic

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communications allows both parties to

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feel like they're getting what they want

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out of the deal

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okay

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so

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if you were paying attention

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here's what i did in both scenarios to

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help them get what they want out of the

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situation number one

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i identified the goal

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in the professional situation the goal

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was to land the partnership with google

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in the personal situation the goal was

play07:41

to land the boyfriend

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step two

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understand your audience

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in the professional situation i

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researched everything about google to

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understand what type of partnerships

play07:56

they'd like to align with

play07:58

in the personal situation

play08:00

i was able to allow jessica to go into

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his instagram and say what does he like

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to do understand what his values are

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step three

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communicate the value

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communicating the value in the

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partnership with google look like

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helping them understand what they get

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out of a partnership with us

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in the personal situation she

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communicated what value their interests

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would have with one another

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and step four

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express the need

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in both situations i was able to use the

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value that they both share to express

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the need that they both want

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and so by doing this

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and using this method i'm able to combat

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the resistance commonly felt when people

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are communicating through challenges

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even like today

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i was able to use strategic

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communication standing right here on

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this stage and not because i was able to

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memorize my lines on hearing speech and

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not because i was able to put together

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this presentation but because i took you

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through those same four steps standing

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right here number one

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i identified the goal which was to get

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you guys to understand what

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communication strategic communications

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really was

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two

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i took the time to understand my

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audience by asking you guys two

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questions to help me know who was in the

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room today

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step three i communicated the value of

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what strategic communications can do in

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your life

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in step four

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i expressed the need for why you need

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strategic communications

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and see usually the reason why people

play09:57

are faced with a lot of resistance in

play09:58

the way that they're communicating is

play10:00

because they're skipping these four

play10:02

steps or at least one of them

play10:05

for example if you don't identify the

play10:08

goal you'll be speaking without purpose

play10:11

you ever had those conversations where

play10:13

you realize it started off one way and

play10:14

it ended another and you're trying to

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figure out how you even got there didn't

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identify the goal

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step two

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i was able to step i'm sorry step three

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i was able to communicate the value and

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then express the need here on this stage

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why do you need strategic communications

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why this is going to help you in your

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life and how you can combat that

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resistance

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so at the heart of it all realize

play10:44

it's not what you say

play10:47

what you say is just as important as how

play10:50

you say it

play10:52

thank you

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Related Tags
Strategic CommunicationGoal SettingAudience AnalysisValue CommunicationPartnership BuildingProfessional GrowthPersonal RelationshipsEffective MessagingCommunication SkillsConflict Resolution